#24 | Why Women Are 43% Less Likely To Be Recognised for Their Ideas & How To Build the Leadership Visibility That Gets You Promoted: Leadership, Influence, Promotion

In this episode, Caroline expands the conversation on the career flywheel, turning focus to two critical and often overlooked power moves: Find Your Friends and Be Seen. While many professionals focus on the tangible aspects of work like spotting problems, solving them, and delivering results, careers rarely accelerate without visibility and connection.

Caroline explores why hard work alone doesn’t travel, the psychology behind recognition gaps, and how reputation and relationships carry your impact further. Drawing on research from McKinsey, LeanIn.org, and Harvard, she unpacks the hidden dynamics of trust, credibility, and informal influence and offers practical steps to turn quiet effort into visible impact.

TAKEAWAYS

• Most careers don’t stall from lack of skill, but from lack of visibility and connection.
• Networking isn’t about collecting contacts; it’s about building trust.
• People can’t value what they can’t see.
• Women are 43% less likely to be recognised for their ideas, even when contributing equally - a visibility gap, not a capability gap. Many men experience this too, especially those conditioned to believe their work “speaks for itself.”
• The strongest networks are built on Amplifiers, Anchors, and Challengers - people who mention your name in rooms you’re not in, ground you when doubt hits, and push you to play bigger.
• Consistent visibility habits (from sharing progress updates to amplifying others) turn effort into evidence and contacts into champions.
• Quiet credibility becomes unstoppable when it’s seen, shared, and supported.

SOUND BITES

• “Hard work doesn’t travel, reputation does.”
• “Networking isn’t collecting contacts; it’s curating trust.”
• “Visibility isn’t vanity. It’s clarity.”
• “If people can’t see what you bring, they can’t value it.”
• “Turn effort into evidence, and contacts into champions.”
• “Quiet brilliance doesn’t get noticed, visible impact does.”

RESOURCES

What's Your Networking Style? Quiz

Your Bold Moves Brief

The Big Conversation Guide

Connect with Caroline here

New episodes are released every Monday, Wednesday and Friday mornings.

Stuck, simmering, or onto something juicy? I want to hear it. Drop me a line at caroline@inspireyourgenius.com - I read them all.

And here is the Spotify Playlist to accompany UnShakeable Her.

Unshakeable Her is the podcast for women in leadership who are ready to build real influence, earn the promotion they deserve, and lead with confidence in systems that weren't built for them. Each episode tackles the challenges that shape leadership from the inside out, including imposter syndrome, resilience, credibility, boundaries, conflict, and feedback, while unpacking how pressure, workplace politics, strategic thinking, decision-making, and visibility affect the way ambitious women grow, lead, and get promoted without losing themselves in the process.

Transcript

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SPEAKER_01 0:00

Last week we talked about the tangible side of the career flywheel. You know, the stuff that's tidy, it's satisfying. You do something, it works, boom, you know, you get a little bit of a dopamine hit. That's satisfaction. That's the easy bit. It's clean, it's clear, and it's direct. You spot a gap and fix it. You find a problem and solve it. Results. But now, now we're going to dig into the messy middle bit, the bit that so many brilliant, hardworking people skip. Because while you're busy doing the work, you're forgetting to show it. And if no one sees it, it might as well not exist. So this week we're diving into the two power moves that most careers quietly depend on. Find your friends and be seen. These are the moves that turn good work into visible impact and effort into momentum. I'm Caroline Esterson. This is Little Moves Big Careers. Let's spin the flywheel. This isn't a pep talk, it's a practical guide with a glint in its eye. Smart moves, slight chaos. Welcome to Little Move's Big Careers. So the flywheel, where did this even come from? Well, actually, you know what? It started as a bit of a scribble on a napkin. Wendy, my business partner, and I were kind of like struggling with why is it some people seem to get all the luck in the world, the plum jobs and promotions, while others just can't get traction for their ideas. And you see them, don't you? They they get resigned, they slump a little more each day. And what we saw was a pattern emerging. And these were the four power moves that successful people balance, whilst others seemed to put all their effort into just one or two of the moves. And we talked about two last week. You make it matter by delivering results, you spot what needs to be improved and solve how to do it. But if you stop there, the flywheel just kind of grinds to a halt, really. And the two parts that keep it spinning, these are find your friends and be seen. That's where momentum happens. That's where opportunity finds you instead of you kind of constantly trying to chase it. Let's take a moment to understand why these two moves often get ignored. I'd like you to think about it this way: most people obsess over what they can measure: KPIs, performance ratings, results, because that feels safe. That's what our organizations tell us are important. So that's what we focus on. But actually, the research says otherwise. Visibility and connection aren't just feel-good extras, you know, they're predictive of long-term success. In 2023, MIT Sloan did a study that found people with strong internal networks were 34% more likely to be promoted, even when performance was absolutely identical. Meanwhile, a Harvard Business Review piece by Rosabeth Moss Cantor showed that visibility relationships explain career advancements better than technical skills. So the evidence shows us that careers run on human power, not just output. Ignore that and you'll be working twice as hard for half the impact. So let's start with find your friends. This power move isn't about collecting business cards or small talk at conferences. It's about creating an ecosystem that keeps you sharp, supported, and seen. But before we dive in, can I talk to you about what I actually notice is happening right now? Everyone's out there amassing transactions, not relationships. Do you know what I mean? The you know, people comment on your posts, slide into your DMs and then ask for a quick favour. Once they've got it, radio silence. Or the selfie networks, oh, had the best coffee with amazing, you know, insert name here. When in reality they met you once for 12 minutes and probably spent most of it angling for better lighting that didn't reflect in their glasses. Like mine does. I still haven't solved that problem yet, have I? This isn't connection, it's about creating content. And this is the problem. When everyone's performing relationships instead of building them, trust collapses and you end up with the feed full of faces and a network full of ghosts. So let's fix that. Find your friends means intentionally curating relationships that had depth, not just digital power. It's not about who you know, it's about who knows you well enough to vouch for you when it really matters. Because when opportunity knocks, it comes through people. So, what's your antidote to this world of crazy transactions that we live in? Firstly, check your ask to offer ratio. Are you giving as much as you're grabbing from the people? Nurture those quiet connectors, the ones who don't always shout but do deliver for you. And for the love of all things, coffee, stop treating every interaction like a transaction. Real circles aren't built through selfies, they're built through substance. Wendy, who thrives when she's with people, has developed the relationship rules of engagement. And there are five rules, and she just says it so simply: be interested, be interesting, follow up, keep in touch, and most of all, do what you say you're gonna do. So I've created a quick quiz on typeform for you to help you determine your networker type. The links in the show notes. Go on, take a look, a bit of fun, but it may also get you starting to think right now about how you find your friends and how you value those relationships. So let's move on to think about who you actually need in your circle because this isn't just about getting as many people as possible. You can't possibly keep up and nurture thousands of relationships. What you need is three types of people to help you thrive. First, you need amplifiers. They're the people who will naturally champion you when you're not around. Maybe they drop your name in meetings, mention your contribution in passing. They'll help others see the great things that you bring. Often when you're too busy to doing the work yourself to actually broadcast it. They don't amplify you because they owe you. They do it because they believe in you. So, how do you spot somebody like this? Well, they're the people who light up when you succeed. They share credit, they connect dots, and they're often the reason someone randomly reaches out with an opportunity. Both Wendy and I live in this space. We love nothing more than seeing someone else succeed. You know, that's why we do what we do. It truly gives us joy. And we'd love to be that for you too. So remember, if you've got a story to tell and you'd like to share it, please do get in touch. And once you've found your amplifiers, you need to strengthen that relationship. And you can do that by keeping them in the loop. Send them quick updates so they've got stories to tell. Think about what's important to them and respond to that. It's not just a one-way street, you know. Thank them publicly, not just in private, and return the favor. Amplify them back. Your micro move here is when someone opens a door or advocates for you, close the loop, let them know what happened next. It turns that goodwill into ongoing trust. Secondly, you need challengers. These are your call-out crew, people who really want you to win. They're not cheerleaders, they're truth tellers. Cheerleaders mean well, but they're also the ones who'll say, no, it's fine, when you're actually about to present with spinach in your teeth. They're lovely. It's great to have them around, but sometimes they're not that helpful. Challengers, on the other hand, they see when you're playing small, doing the work, but not making it magic, or maybe you're hiding behind perfectionism, and they'll call it out with love and respect. They're the ones who say you can do better than that. Not to tear you down, but to make sure you're not shrinking to fit. Let me give you a very personal example. At the start of the year, I had lunch with Quentin Wilson and he listened and nodded, whilst I made excuses about why I couldn't write my book or start the podcast. Then after about 147 excuses, he said to me, I won't let you play Small Caroline. That was all it took. Made me sit up and take action. And yeah, whilst the book has taken longer than I would have liked, it will be out in January. And in the meantime, I'm here with you every week. And I hope that what I share makes a small difference to you in your world. So a huge thank you to you, Quentin. I really wouldn't have done this without you. It was just those little words. I owe you a huge hug and maybe a beer when I see you next. So, how do you spot a challenger? They're usually people who've earned your respect. They push your thinking, not your buttons. I know you might occasionally find them a little bit annoying, but that's only because they're usually right. So, what do you need to do to strengthen this relationship? Ask for their views early, not when it's too late. Thank them when they challenge you. You know, it really is gold dust in this busy world that we live in. But let them know also what kind of challenge helps you most. Do you value them stretching your accountability, your ambition, or your perspective? What is it? What is it that you want from them? Be clear. And remember that next time someone gives you uncomfortable feedback, resist defending yourself. Take a breath and say, that's helpful. Tell me a little bit more. Remember, the people who are prepared to give you that uncomfortable feedback usually care enough about you to tell you straight. You'll know the ones who have an angle or an agenda, and you really are allowed to ignore them. And lastly, we have the anchors. They are your calm in your chaos. They ground you. They're the people who remind you who you are when imposter syndrome's being loud or when your ambition turns into overdrive. They steady your perspective, hold your confidence when it wobbles a little bit, and keeps you connected to your values, not just your ambition. They're the people you don't exhale around. You don't need to be on performance or polished. They give you permission to just be you, to vent when you need to, to hold space for you when you need that. And if you want to strengthen that relationship, let them know that their calmness helps you be better. Don't only call them when you're in crisis, they'll start to get frustrated. Share the wins too, yours and theirs. Remember this to make them feel special every so often, too. Be their anchor back. Granding really does work both ways. So your micro move for this is book a walk, not a coffee with one of your anchors. It resets your nervous system and your priorities. Why do I say a walk, not a coffee? Because you know what, when you've been heads down too long, your brain's basically buffering. Walking resets your nervous system. It gets oxygen to your ideas, it shakes loose those mental cobwebs and reminds you that there is actually a life beyond your laptop. You'll think clearer, speak truer, and stop catastrophizing just that one little email. So if you need perspective, don't grab another latte. Lace up, fresh air sorts most careers more than coffee ever could. And here's a quick activity for you: perform your bench audit prompts. Grab a pen, draw three columns, amplifiers, challenges, and anchors. Fill in at least one name under each column. If a column's light on names, that's your next bold move. Think of it like a power grid. You don't need hundreds of weak connections. That's just vanity. You need a few really strong ones that generate occurrence.

SPEAKER_00 13:20

Time for brain food, the research bit. Make it cheeky.

SPEAKER_01 13:26

Because we all love evidence, especially when it supports our own experiences. So let's look into the research. We've said it before, we're gonna say it again. Humans are wired for connection. Literally, the ventral stratium, the reward system in your brain, lights up when you're recognized or included. It's the same part that activates when you win money or eat chocolate. On the flip side, social exclusion triggers the same neural pathways as physical pain. That's why being left out of a project can actually hurt, because your brain can't tell the difference between being ignored or being punched in the guts. So when people say I don't do politics, I just do my job, they're ignoring basic neuroscience. Finding your friends isn't about manipulation, it's maintenance. You're keeping your social wiring healthy, your dopamine topped up, and your career connected to opportunity. So let's move on now to the final power move, the fourth one, be seen. This is all about visibility, and it's the centerpiece. It often makes people cringe. I get it. But I need you to reframe it in your brain because so much is going on, there is so much information out there that your work just doesn't speak for itself anymore. Visibility isn't about bragging, it's about providing the evidence, and it needs a translator. That translator is you. A McKinsey and leanin.org study found that women are 43% less likely to be recognized for their ideas, even when they contribute equally. That's not a skill gap, it's a visibility gap. Workplaces still often reward what's seen over what's done. And for generations, visibility has been easier for some than others. Men were raised inside systems designed for their voices to be heard. Literally, you know, think boardrooms, golf clubs, bars, or spaces built for connection, influence, and visibility. And what were the women doing while the men were doing that? Think about it. Being confident wasn't arrogance, it was just expected. It was how you signal credibility and belonging. For women, and actually for many men who don't fit that particular mold, the messaging was different. Be modest, be grateful, and definitely don't be too much. So they built their credibility quietly through delivery, not through their showmanship. And so what you see is the result is that two people do the same work. One gets remembered and one gets overlooked, not because of merit, but simply because of visibility. And that's exactly why we need to get intentional about how we show up. So our work has a voice that carries. It's about telling the story of your work in a way people can understand and remember. You know, whether it's saying as a result of that project, the team saved 12 hours a week, or simply being the person who connects the dots in a meeting. Whichever approach you take, that's about strategic visibility. Remember this effort is private, impact is public, and people can't reward what they don't know.

SPEAKER_00 16:58

This quote has the right vibe and the completely wrong advice.

SPEAKER_01 17:03

So let's fix that before someone puts it on a mug. So let's move on to the quote for this week that needs to be firmly put in the bin. Today's offender is do good work and it will speak for itself. It won't. I mean, I've heard that a million times from bosses. It just won't. The people who progress aren't necessarily the loudest. They're the clearest. They make their impact legible. So please stop waiting for your work to whisper your greatness. Give it a microphone.

SPEAKER_00 17:39

It's time for what would Caro do? Like a career agony art, but with less cardigan and more fire.

SPEAKER_01 17:46

And this week's dilemma is from Frustrated from Fife. Oh, Auntie Caro, I've been with my company for five years. I always deliver, but I keep getting overlooked. I've heard this or the equivalent so much. One person we know recently was told that she didn't get promotion because her male colleague had signalled, they'd actually said that they were keen to get on in their career. So when it came to choosing, they felt it should go to him because he'd signalled that he was keen. She was keen too, but hadn't wanted to shout about it. So she missed out. And that's crazy, isn't it? Because it is just really simple. It's not right, but it is actually understandable. Because when everything is equal, there needs to be a point of differentiation. And sometimes that difference is as simple as asking. So here's what I would do: Step one, shift your language. Don't describe what you do, describe your value. I think I must say some variation of this in every episode because opportunities really do come to those who add value and can explain that value, not just the tasks that they've completed. Step two, remember your job as a translator. Don't just do your job. Be clear about that difference. How did you increase efficiency? Reduce costs, for example. And if you can put a number on it, do so. This is a great habit to get into because it is actually a habit. The more you do it, the easier it will become. And you'll find that you start to be more discerning about what you do based on this, too, which is a really good thing. You'll stop saying yes to everything and start choosing the things that you want to do based on the value that you can offer. And step three, find your friends, your challenger, your amplifier, and your anchors. They will help you keep improving and make sure people outside your circle know about you too. It's not about being pushy, it's about making your value legible. That's leadership.

SPEAKER_00 20:00

Small shifts, sharp impact. These are quickfire career moves, real things you can do before your next coffee refill.

SPEAKER_01 20:11

So here are your quickfire career moves for this week. Number one, take the quiz to find out your networking style. The link is in the show notes, and on completion, you can download the Find Your Friends cheat sheet with six steps and 20 ideas to build a strong circle around you. Number two, map that circle. Who are your amplifiers, challengers, and anchors? Three, shout one small win every week, even if it's just with your team. Just get used to talking about these things in this way. Replace I worked hard on with as a result of X, this is what happened. And I've got a bonus one for you this week. Try the visibility audit for every piece of work you complete. Ask, who needs to know this happened? Your work doesn't move the needle unless people see the needle move. Find your friends, be seen, because brilliance without visibility is just wasted. And remember, you can't build momentum by hiding in plain sight. Do the networking style quiz and grab your free cheat sheet. Links to all of this are in the show notes. I'm Caroline Esterson, and remember, make your move, even if it's tiny, especially if it's tiny.