Hello, everyone, and welcome to the first episode of our new podcast. The story of our podcast begins, as many stories do, with some hate comments on the Internet. What type of hate comments have we been getting? I saw so many different simper beta in my life, but you bro, you bro are the king. You can tell this aging creator is forcing herself to laugh.
Matt Rife is still well loved and famous. Stop simping. What the fuck is wrong with grown ass men? Stop fucking simping. I'm glad you gave it emotion. I really felt that one. I love that. Damn, you two are some pretentious nobodies. You are soft, weak, and emotionally lacking logic and strength. You're doing a disservice to your children.
They don't need two mothers. That took the air out of my lungs.
But one comment. Rows above the rest, Mr. Pick Me and the Man Hater pushing their double standard garbage. And with that comment, a podcast was born. Well, welcome everybody to Mr. Pick Me and the Man Hater. So happy to have you. Me too.
Obviously, I am the Man Hater and this is Mr. Pick Me. Hi.
What are we talking about today? What are we talking about? We talk about some of the worst people on the internet. There's a lot of bad advice on the internet and we are trying to, uh, comment. Unwise said advice is bad. You want bad advice, man. I'll give it out. Glad I got some good advice for you. No you don't.
You got some good advice for you. No, you don't. I know you don't. Would you like me to, uh, to read the post to you? Oh, absolutely. All right. So the, the question is, am I the asshole for kicking my wife out after she punched my mom in the face? Oh, what a start that
now keep in mind to anyone listening. I've read this whole thing. Reagan has not. So this is, uh, she's, I, I pitched it. She heard the basic premise of it, but this is all going to be brand new for her. So, um, so what first opinion on just the question, am I the asshole for kicking my wife out after she punched my mom in the face?
My first thought is what on earth happened? That one would push their mother-in-law Decker. It's one thing to like yell at her. Yeah. Uh, it's one thing to like get into an altercation fight, whatever, but the idea of app actually decking, just actually punching. Yeah. That, that makes me a little, um, little con concerned as to what was happening before.
If your wife punched your mom in the face. I don't know about that. That's a rough one. With no context. No context. I love my mom. She's like 5'2 She's like 90 pounds. Like what did she do? How could this happen? Here's the thing. I think it's It's a good reaction for it to be unfathomable, right? If you're like, Hmm, I've thought about this before, that's probably a problem in itself.
I've thought about that. Think about it often. It's, it's been something I've worried about. My situation went from bad to worse in a matter of a week, and I don't know where else to turn. I need to know if I was wrong. To Reddit, of course. Yes, of course. This is where you go. Not to a therapist, not to somebody that you might trust in your life.
Right. Just strangers on the internet. Possibly a validation thing because life is fucking dumb right now. It's absolutely a validation thing. There's no possibility. There's no other reason to go on to, to anywhere, social media with a question like this, other than validation. Okay. My wife and I have been together for eight years and she just gave birth to our first baby.
And last in parentheses, baby, two months ago. Oh, I'm on the wife's side immediately. I'm just throwing that out there. Yeah. I don't know if, uh, I gave the sass in the end last, there could be another reason for it, but it sounds like Merr, like he's like, this is never again. That's what I was hard on me.
Yeah, she doesn't know what this, what this pregnancy did to me. I sat in the hard chair at the, at the hospital that all the men talk about. Oh my God. That's a doozy right there. Okay. I mean, yeah, that's a whole noth that's another discussion. We should have, we should have an episode about that because there's so much to talk about, about that.
I have no greater rage than that. I have gone off on many people over that one, so. Let's keep going. So we have a two month postpartum mother. Yes. Okay. Together eight years. She's up until my wife got pregnant. My mom loved her. Oh no. This is already answered some of the questions of is this a long. Okay, uh, up until my wife got pregnant, my mom loved her.
I'm not sure WTF is wrong with my mom or why the switch happened, but after my wife got pregnant, my mom started getting very clingy to me and started avoiding my wife at all costs. Told everyone she wasn't excited about the pregnancy, et cetera. Oh, I threatened to go no contact with her when my wife was about seven months along, and after that, she snapped out of it for the most part and stopped being so ignorant.
The comments 100% stopped. At least though she was still clinging to me. Uh oh. I'm feeling a aged pick. Me turning into mother, into man, baby. I am feeling it. If this was my mom, I'm thinking about my situation. Uh, and like, cause I was raised by a single mom. I love my mom very much. So we have a very good relationship.
If my wife punched her for some reason, my mom would be mad at me for not leaving with my wife, right? Like for a night, like if we're not being on her side, like at this point, my mom is very much like, no, no, no. You are team wife. No matter what, that is, that is where you are. And obviously there's more details to come, but, uh, in that situation.
So the, but this sounds like a little jealousy. I've told you the toxic boy, mom, who was a pick me like that ages and they had that bad relationship. And as soon as they feel they may be losing the, uh, losing. The control of the son which particularly if you have a kid you are you are down on the priority list as you should be Because that he now has a wife and a baby he needs to take care of and so if she was mad about that Then I would assume she wants to be top dog Top priority the most important woman and additionally the fact that he said hey knock it off and she did Shows you how easy it would have been for her not to do that You know what I mean?
Like this is, yeah, I think we're both, we're both at this point, very firmly team wife. Okay. Uh, on this, I think. Okay. I'm so scared. And I, I don't think it's going to change. I'm not trying to make it sound like, you know, feel bad about this. All right. Now a week ago, my mom, my sister, 12 came over for dinner.
I don't know why the sister's daughter's age matter, but they always put the age every time. It's a Reddit thing. I prepared the meal before my wife could eat anything. Our daughter got fussy. So my wife excused her to go feed the baby and get her down to sleep. Classic. I thought I was, yeah, I thought I was, I prepared enough, but apparently not because my niece was still starving.
She's five, five and 190 pounds. I haven't seen her in a year and she was not that size then. So I didn't exactly portion in an extra three helpings for a child. So it's on me. Oh, I don't like anything he just, I hate, is that some fat phobia child shaming? I don't, yeah, this is, uh, It's the little things with these, these posts.
It's the way it's being phrased too. Cause right now there's also this whole like, hold on, let me also put blame on the child. Right, let me blame a growing child. Yeah, in a room full of adults. Let me make sure you all know that she was the one that ate my wife's food. Now we know that why the 12 was in there.
He's like, this child. She's basically an adult. You have to love the nice guy phrasing where he's like, I mean, it's on me, but here's five reasons. It's not. Yeah, there's, uh, keep going. Cause I'm, that one's going to make me mad. Cause yeah. Body image with young girls. It's a girl, right? 100%. Uh, yeah. Yep. Yep.
Oh, okay. Oh, this is all. Yeah. I, I apologized and told her that I hadn't made any more and offered her crackers as I was putting my wife's portion in the fridge after that. I just went outside with my sister's husband to smoke a cigarette and shoot the breeze. Didn't think anything of it. But then I hear yelling from inside when I walk in my wife and my mom were screaming at each other Apparently my mom who saw me put my wife's food away gave my niece my wife's portion of food.
Oh No, yeah, okay. So there's this thing As a parent, I didn't, now I didn't carry, but I, I was like, uh, the primary caregiver at home. What? But I was a primary, so. Once she was born, I'd spent the most time with her. Um, but, there's this thing, as a parent, where you miss most of the dinners. If you are at the dinners, you're taking care of the baby, trying to make sure they don't fuss and disrupt everybody else.
You rarely eat hot food. Like I can't even explain to you. I mean, maybe you experienced it too, but like how little times by the time I ate my food, it was still hot. So it's like probably the one time she's getting a meal. She wants to join everybody. She has to leave. Like, even though she doesn't want to also.
Don't plan meals when the nap is. Hey, just a thought, guy. And when you're thinking of the things you didn't plan, correctly. Or, like, yeah, you can wait, too, in that situation. Yeah, wait for her! This is a special function. Yeah! Jesus! It's gonna get cold. Then put it in the microwave. Put it in the oven. Yeah, heat it up!
This is, yeah, this was a choice already. Yes, there's so many choices. Well, we, what do you expect us to wait while you're eating the child and putting her for You expect us not to eat and, and include you? And, and there are circumstances, like, you know, there have been phases with our kids where it had to be either me or my wife to put them to bed.
And so I'm, cause it, cause it could be my, the one suggestion, obviously, like when we could, we'd switch, you know, one would feed. One would put the kid to bed, one would do as much as they can. Sometimes that's not possible, so that's, that could be the situation here, where they, But, there's still no reason you could not have, have waited.
Yeah, you could have waited, you could have made sure she got a free, like, There's, There's ways to make sure that person feels supported and a priority and there is a weird thing with food There's a weird thing as a mom about eating. I mean dang the baby's draining the life out of you. You need food Okay, let's keep going.
Let's that's a whole nother rant. Okay, as I was walking inside I heard my mom say look. Oh my god. Sorry God I heard my mom say, looks like you can afford to skip a meal and slapped my wife's stomach. Can I deck this mom? Two months postpartum here. Not that this is a, I wouldn't be good. Not that this is okay.
Two years postpartum either. Specifically, I'm a mom hater right now, as in this mom. Yeah, okay. Right as soon as I get ready to step in, literally fast walking toward them and yelling, Enough! My wife winds back and punches my mother square in the face and drops her. The whole house went silent outside of my mom crying and holding her face.
I tell everyone, Get the fuck out. Immediately, everyone leaves, and my wife just turns toward the counter and leans with her hands on the counter and face down, eyes closed. I look at my wife and say, You two, leave. Now. She says, Really? She's crying at this point. I say, Eclipt, Yup. She packs up her and the baby and leaves.
Oh, so she'll take the baby then. He really needs the home to himself right now, after that incident. Yeah, he, I don't even, that's the whole other thing. She just, she's waking up. This baby just put to sleep to leave the house alone. Her own home. Because his mother, who hasn't supported her pregnancy at all, just slapped her belly and said you could, uh, you could skip a few meals or lose a few pounds or whatever.
Um, and also like, imagine this is like a special meal. It sounds like, yeah, like, imagine if you are in that situation. Like, and I, I've been in that. So obviously I'm, I it's, I'm, I'm not the, uh, the primary caregiver at home for a lot of these things, but like there, there are many times where when I am home and I want to switch and I'll smell the food people are eating and I'll say, no, no, go ahead.
Eat without me. Yeah. And just the, the feeling of, of like the excitement of knowing there's going to be a meal after I'm done. what could sometimes be a very long, drawn out process. And then for the, the, not to even, not an apology, not like, Oh my God, I'm so sorry. Right. But to pat her belly and slap her belly.
Yeah, sorry, slap the belly. That was a very clear choice of words. I get mad if people eat my leftovers on a normal day. I can go completely unhinged and feral if I'm like, I had, when I was young, someone ate a, uh, I think it was an airhead. That I wanted and I investigated the entire house. There was there was interrogations as to who ate this airhead Now put that with real food and put that with I am two months postpartum I didn't get to eat the meal with my family this woman who did not support me the entire pregnancy said they didn't want me To have my child And let's not pretend like this guy does not sound like someone who's been a very equal supportive partner during this, the months after the pregnancy as well.
She's probably also exhausted at this point too from being the one that's constantly having to get up with the baby, having to do all the work. Cause it does, like I said, does not sound like he's doing all the extras here. That's the thing is like, he got to have his meal with everybody else. He got to go outside and smoke and shoot the breeze.
Meanwhile, she's, she's upstairs with the baby missing out on that, on all that. All she probably wanted was like, at least I'll have some good food. She comes down. This child is eating the house. The kids eating it. She finds out it is the mom who's given it to her. And then that woman has the nerve to slap her belly and say, you could lose weight anyways.
Because also it feels like a very obvious choice to mess with her. Oh, a hundred percent. Before the slap. That was a very, she's like, Oh, this will make her mad. I love this. This will piss her off. This is my chance. Yeah. To yeah. I shall control this situation. There's more. Would you like to continue? I can't.
Go, go on, go on. I text her that night and say, I just need space. I need to decompress and come to terms with what just happened. She doesn't respond. The next five days I'm texting and calling and I get nothing. She shows up here today. So eight days later and hands me divorce paperwork and my baby and says here, you have a bit to hang out with her while I, while I pack where I'm breastfeeding, we can work out a visitation schedule that is either at your place or my mother's until she will take a bottle.
I told her that's not what I want. I don't want to separate. I just need a time to process. Her punching my mother in the face. She said, you needing time to process gave me time to process. Yes, queen. Oh, I love her. Oh, I love this. Yeah. I, uh, you needing time to process gave me time to process the fact that I refuse to be in this situation any longer.
I defended myself. I initially felt bad and remorseful, but you making me leave when I needed you made me seem more clear. I'm done. I'm sorry for what I did, but there's no fixing this. She refused to speak to me all the rest of the time that she was there. My house feels so empty and I don't know what to do.
Am I the asshole for making her leave after she punched my mom? I just needed some fucking space. Let me tell you something. First of all, he is the asshole. We knew that. We knew that from the beginning. I think there was even, yeah. Well established man hater confirmed. You are the asshole. But additionally, this is not the first time I've heard of husbands.
Getting upset at their wife and saying I need space and kicking out their wife and child or how many ever many kids like I've On my other page my mom page that exact occurrence happens all the time where the guy literally is like I need space and instead of him Leaving he's like take all your stuff take because packing for a two month old is like Packing for a six week long journey, like you're packing, uh, their clothes, their diapers, their wipes, their toys, like all of that.
When, when he kicked her out, I even was assuming it was the mom's house. And that she was going back to their house, but the fact that she had to go back there, so he kicked her out of their own home. And that didn't, I, I, I'd read this beforehand and that did not click in my head until he kicked her out of their own home.
Yeah, and then was gone from his newborn baby for eight days and was like, Okay, what if you like, I mean, obviously, barring I had done something atrocious, but like, I could not be away from a newborn for that long and be okay, not knowing where they were. No, I'd be, I'd be terribly, I'd be, I'd be worse if something happened to her.
I'd be like, no, no, yeah. And it's not even like a mad thing. I'd be terrified that, oh my God, I kicked her out. What, what if, where did she go? What if she got in a car crash? What if there's something wrong? Exactly. And do you have, if she's breastfeeding in their two months postpartum, her hormones would be still raging.
That's still the zone of what they call the baby blues, which is actually like postpartum depression. It's like, is that baby blues? Like, it's a very cute name for like spiraling out and hating life. Look, she's got the baby blues. Oh, are you depressed? Yeah. I hated that. I was like, you need a new name for that.
Are you telling me that they're going to minimize the experiences of women? Are they going to trivialize what a woman goes through? Huh? But that male loneliness is rough, right? It's an epidemic. But they just got the baby blues. Uh, no, but like. There's no, she's emotional, like, breastfeeding, like, is brutal on women.
I, I didn't have to do it, but I, it's brutal. Um, so she's going through all this, and he doesn't have to kick her out, for that long, and he hasn't seen her, and then he's like, my house is quiet, no shit. No shit. You kicked out your wife and your two month old child without knowing, it doesn't sound like he knew where they were, so you just didn't know where they were, like if they were safe.
Like if I literally, if it, even if I was a horrible person that did this thing to the, to the point I would be calling the police, I'd be right. I'd be like calling all of her friends. I'd be just to know where they were frantic just to know that they were okay. Cause I actually, but that's assuming that you actually care about the person.
It's assuming you like them. You're, you have, uh, parental instincts. He's like, this is great. I get to sleep in. Yeah, I know. I guarantee it. I guarantee he, cause as you said, I just needed space. I'm like, huh? You don't think your fucking wife needed space, bro? Yeah. You don't think your fucking wife who was with your kid didn't get to eat and then got slapped on her belly and called fat, essentially?
Um, I'm trying to process kicking your wife and child out of your house. It's not even close to the first time I've heard of that. Or like, I need space, I need time to myself, I've been around the baby too much. Can you guys go somewhere? Yeah, I've heard of it many times. A lot of times the guy will just leave and go golf or whatever, whatever you men do.
Oh, you men and your thing, sports or whatever. Uh, no, but, but really I've heard it. I've heard it, uh, multiple times and I'm just like, what did you need space from? I mean, I guess you saw your, you saw your wife get hit and then you saw your wife hit your mom. But it's like, again, leave, you leave. You want space, you leave.
It's like, the lack of concern for anybody but himself. He doesn't say, he doesn't even say he cared about his mom. He doesn't even mention that. No. No. He just says, like, I, I, I really need space to process this thing I was not involved in. He didn't kick out the mom. I think he did, he said everybody was gone.
I guess so, but I guess maybe, okay. I think everybody was gone and she was still there because it's her house. Yeah, and processing because she just got she's had to punch someone and she's probably feeling bad at this point I'm sure she's horrible because she's like I lost my you know, I'm I'm full of full of emotion I'm tired.
I'm yeah, I'm hungry. I'm starving. I'm starving I will tell you as someone I have mood disorder like I have all the mood shit Hormonal is the worst. It is way worse than any of that. So like I can only imagine what she felt like if I was in like full, like having hormonal issues and I got slapped on my stomach and called, called, uh, overweight essentially by about my body, which had just given birth to this beautiful child who is your grandchild.
If you're like, let me just put myself in that. Like, I might deck. By someone who has very clearly been, Against you. By his own admission. Yes. Being very mean to you. Openly. Ever since you, yeah. Yeah. Saying they don't, they don't want you to have the baby. Mm mm. And this is your mother in law? Mm mm. No. But also it shows you how little the husband was doing.
Cause like we have strong boundaries at my house. Like I I've never talked shit on my wife ever to you. Like I've never, and I don't, you're like, no, no, no, no. I've never talked shit on her too. Like I don't to anyone. And I went, well, she doesn't give me any reason to, but if she did. But there, there are things that, you know, every couple, every healthy couple has stuff that you have issues with that you, you, but, but yeah, you don't.
Yeah. That's not, there's a way to, yeah, there's also a way to talk about it. That is not just trashing the other. Sure. And that's the other thing is like, like with my, like my wife's anxious, I made sure when, with my family, who's a lot, you know, um, in a good way, but like you've met me, you can imagine, um, like.
I'd be like, this is her boundaries and she needs to recharge. Cause my family's like really loud and we tell like, just like obnoxious loud stories and stuff, which is a lot for an introvert. Um, so it's like, I had to be clear about like, how, like what her boundaries are in space. And like, if she needs to take a second, like you, it is your job as a partner.
To make sure that your partner feels safe around your family, you know, as much as you can everybody's families You can't control your family. Everybody has crazy family stuff But if you're not an ally with your partner in those moments, what are you doing? Like you have to be you have to be especially you have a child which again is probably why the mom was pissed Cause she knew that as soon as you have a child, well, your allegiance should shift.
Uh, clearly it didn't cause he kicked them out of their home. Like, have you ever been in a situation where your wife does something you, you're, you disagree with, but you know, in that moment, you just think, but this is my side now. You just kind of have to switch to it because that's part of being a supportive partner.
You're like, we can discuss this on our own. It happens all the time with parenting, but like they make a choice, you know, like you make you, it's like you parent, you choose a hard line. Right. So probably vice versa, where she's like, I wish you hadn't have done that. Because now we have to hold this hard line.
But like, or with our daughter, when we're out and we're like, okay, we're leaving now, or we have to do this. Um, and you're like, I will ride or die you here. Then I will talk to you later. Be like, did we need to do that? She brought, if we're being honest, it's probably more the reverse. It's probably more her with me.
Like being like, Reagan, what was that? Why did you say that? I don't know. I was, this is the heat of the moment. It happened. Yeah. Yeah. I like make promises like, Oh, come to our house. She's like, Oh God, why did you do this? That's that's exactly. Cause I, I'm the, I am very much the introvert of our house. And, uh, my wife is somewhat of an ambivert, but she still likes people and she invites people.
And I'm like, I'm like, Oh, we're going, we're doing this. Do we have to? All right. I'll no, I'll do it. I pro you're right. I will do it. This is, this is fine. This is, I am supporting this moment in time and I'm, I'm going to be sad about it. I love people here in, in my space. I love that where I recharge. This is wonderful.
Yeah. I had to learn all of that. When I, we got together, I didn't understand any intro. I did not understand any of that until she was like, I was like you, Want to be by yourself? Like, what? Like, let's go out! Yeah, for us, it's the whole, like, she likes going and doing things. Yeah. Here's a perfect example.
For Mother's Day, I know that I should be planning things where we go to events. And we're doing some sort of activity plan. For Father's Day My ideal father's day would be, yeah, I would, can I take like a three hour nap in the afternoon? Oh, I'll be great. I can just play. I can just sit in a corner playing video games and reading a book and just not do anything.
And it's very, and that's always been the, uh, an interesting area of like, not conflict, but like, uh, of tension, I guess. Yeah. Where, where it's like what, and it's cause we have the same birthday. Uh, which, yeah, the exact same We have to say it's different years, but same, same day. Uh, and so, yeah, that's a whole nother, that's a mess, but yeah.
But that, that became a mess because we have such different ways of celebrating our days. And so now we still, we, you know, we've been together for 15 birthdays now, and we still haven't figured it out where we're still kind of like, uh, we've tried it out where, okay, you get Saturday and I get Sunday or we get, and now, so we, now we just kind of figure out something to do together, but now it's.
It's mother and father's day. Those are our days now because yes, it's we, it's almost become our middle ground. It means neither of us get anything for it. Yes, facts. Yeah, we do. Uh, we split mother's day for the exact reason. Like Right. So she does Mother's Day. I do Father's Day. Mm-Hmm. So that we can focus because don't align.
You get your day, you get your day. No. Yeah. They, they do not align. I'm like, let's do an escape room. She's like, please, I don't, please. Right. . I told her my birthday's, well now it won't be tomorrow, but for when you listen to this, it won't be tomorrow, but right as recording this, it is tomorrow. And I'm like, , we just did an escape room.
She's like, what do you wanna do? I'm like, escape you. She's like, okay. Let's do it again.
I love escape rooms, but I absolutely love because it's like a task. Yes. It's like, that's my, I'm like, I can vary. I can vary to figure things out. Yeah. Where's, where's my wife being the more extroverted one hates stuff like that. She just wants to go to a show or to a theater or to something like she wants to experience, she likes experiences.
Uh, if she went with me, she would love it. Because I, I make it a theater production. I'm like, where's the clue? Really? It's outlandish. Okay. If we, if we, or when we visit, we're doing an escape room and me and your wife will be very upset about that. We're leaving, going anywhere. I'll be upset that we're going on a trip in general.
I'll still be mourning not being in my house. Yeah. And, uh, and then we'll, we'll still have a good time with it. Okay. Oh God. But, but all of this, all of what we're saying is to say, like, we know our partners, we know ourselves, we care about what our partner wants and needs and supporting our partner. And we don't prioritize ourselves.
Like in those moments, like because you can trust your partner to also look out for you. You can look out for them. And, and in this case, it sounds like he's only looking out for himself, and then she's forced to literally physically defend herself, like, from this person. And it's so Like the, it's not even irony, but the idea that like, after all that, he's like, I didn't want us to split up and the house is really quiet.
It's like, yeah, because you kicked out the, like your partner and your baby. There were probably wasn't a baby like, and he's like, well, I didn't want this. It's like, yeah, you don't get to kick out your spouse for eight days with your child and just think, oh, this'll be fine. This is what I needed. And the thing is, that's not the, the reason they're getting divorced.
That's the trigger that caught, you know what I mean? And that's the other aspect of this. The camel, the strata from the camel's back. Yeah. Yeah. Is this enough now? Is this enough to be the one thing? That may, yes, that is absolutely enough for it to be. It could be there living in bliss. And this is, but it very clearly already is that, uh, one, he's been, this tension's been there and he's clearly said nothing to his mom about it.
Right. He's just going to let this, this tension rise. The least, the least he could say. Yeah. At the very, yeah. Uh, two. And then he's, he's very clearly kind of, uh, not ever putting her, uh, In the, in front of what's going and like, God, the, the putting the portion away in the fridge is also just, um, with, with, I don't, I don't understand the situation.
I'm trying to think there's gotta be something else that like, maybe he's just a bad person. It's just a bad person. And that's what it is. And I just, I'm trying to figure out not have double standard garbage, uh, here for, for our listeners, but no, he's just a bad person. Well, the thing is too, like, I always pay attention to like language.
Um, especially in these posts. Cause at this point I, I break them down all the time, like on, on my podcast or on my, on, uh, Tic Tac language is so important in these things. Like just the fact that he made it clear, like it was a girl who is this, you know, who's 12 and she's eating way too much. And, you know, I didn't know she'd be eating enough for a grown man or whatever.
Like, you know, basically. And then his mom is also talking about body image like you can you can feel that there's probably some misogyny going on that there's probably some weird standards and like of all times To be judgmental of a woman's body. Yeah, I don't I don't think ever I just shush just don't just don't but also she just gave birth to your child like Like I if someone did that to my wife two months after she had my I I would be punching I would be punching like like touching her first of all the belly like especially if you like Give birth.
Like it's so sensitive, everything's sensitive. Like we don't know what, it could have been a C section for all we know. Like, you know, that's it. You don't touch a woman area period. Isn't it like even two months after your, your, uh, the ab muscles aren't even like fully connected again at that point. It's like, sometimes they don't connect.
They don't. Yeah. For bad cases, like. So that's a very sensitive area. And then to like, Oh, and like, you know, women, a lot of times postpartum have horrific body issues and you know, they don't feel like themselves and they don't recognize their body. Like there's so much that goes on for a woman when she has a baby that like is not talked about enough, which we don't need to get into fully here.
But the point being that like. That's disgraceful. It's disgraceful. And to put hands on her at all, to slap her anywhere, let alone where she just had a baby. I don't think so. I don't think so. I almost get it. I'm getting the vibe that it's something that he's expressed worry about to his mom. Ooh, God, I hope not.
Cause, cause you hear about, there's one of my most viral videos I've ever had was that one about that guy saying, if my wife. Doesn't like maintain her body after she, after she has a baby, I'm out. Right. And that, and there's, there's a lot of guys that have that mentality and they don't understand that they also, the like one after the biological physiological aspect of having a baby and what that can do, it can change your metabolism, it can change everything.
Where even if you're maintaining the exact same life as before, your body may very well be different. Right. And also you're getting older. There's just so many factors that go into it above and beyond that. But also A lot of times in these situations, almost always when the guys that are the loudest about their, their wife or partner having given up, it's there are in situations where they don't see that they have any cause of that, right.
Or that they don't play a role in the fact that. That their partner has zero time for any self care, right? Because they're, they don't understand that they, that they're, the reason their partner doesn't have time to exercise anymore is because they're doing now twice as much work with no help from you while your lifestyle.
Hasn't changed at all. And that's, If you want to, if you like, that's like, yeah, absolutely. You know, and a lot of times it's like two, but that's not that long, dude. I want to be very clear. I'm not talking about two months. Yeah. Right. I was like, yeah, this is like when guys will complain like years and years.
Two months after you're still, your body's not even healed at that point. You're still bleeding at that point. Yeah. You're like breastfeeding. Like, yeah, there's so much that goes in. Yeah. There's, there's at that point that you're, the baby just came out, right? There's, there's no, yeah. Yeah, I, to me, it's like, if your, if your partner had your baby, like you should never, ever, ever say a thing about their body, period.
Because it's like, you, do you get what happened? Do you get that your wife carried your child in her body, lost her body to said child, like was not in control of her body. Like had to suffer those. Cause it's a painful process before you have the baby, had the baby, like, To bring you a child. To give you life.
Literally magical thing that women are capable of doing. Uh, and you want to say, But I don't like how your body looks now. Right. I don't, you know when you did that miracle of life. But I don't like, it's like. And it's like, it's almost never guys who are also in great shape. Like, it's like never guys who also, but like, to your point, I like, even if they did want to, because some people do want to, like women do actually want to get their bodies back for their own mental health or whatever.
Um, and can't to your point, because these guys are not giving them space. Like, no, I don't have energy. I was able to, I'm still able to go to the gym 15 hours a week when you're at home and then, yeah, they take those hours. They're the ones that go to the gym. They make sure they get to go to the gym. Why can't you do this?
Yeah, with the zero time I give you. Yeah, it's like you don't facilitate anything. You don't even give her enough to make her have the energy to even think about herself as a person. Like when moms are in mom mode and they don't have anything outside of that, because they just don't have the space or energy.
Like, you don't even give them a breath to even be like, Hmm, what would be good for me? Like they don't even have that. You're just saying your body's not good enough. It's not like they're saying like you should work out for your mental health, you know, or you should work out because it's good for you, which is true.
Like Sarah, Saratoga, whatever. Like it's good to work out. No, they're saying your body's not good enough. Yeah. I've noticed you, you feel like you're sad, you're down, you're depressed. You know, what would, is there anything I can do to help? Like, maybe do you want some time alone to blah, blah, blah. No, that's not, you know, that's not happening.
It's no, it's getting the gym. Yeah. On imaginary time. I mean, I honestly think men that are like that, not all men. Okay. Not you. No, that's all of it. Or I'll show up, show up at your house. Yeah. Um, am I the asshole for punching my podcast co hosts? I know your wife now, so she can report to me. That's true.
She can tell you, she can, she can, uh, you can check in. You should do that. Give me a section to make sure that I'm not telling lies. Oh shit. It's really sad. And it showcases like, again, how little they care about the one. Cause it's not, they're not prioritizing her. They're not even, they're not even thinking about her for her.
Like they're, they don't care. That she's not working out for her. They literally only care for them and their physical wants and desires and the way that she looks for them. And that's so pathetic. Like as, as I was, I mean, I was the partner, like, I, I, I can't, like, it makes me short circuit thinking about saying something like that to my wife.
I didn't. Oh. And like, it's like, she just had birth, gave birth to your child. Like she's a magic. She's literally like her body, like everything she did, you're literally Like a god, but you know a goddess like like I was just like everything you do is magic everything Yeah, how can I help you? What can I do?
To the thought of being like not only you being like that But your mother letting your mother talk to your wife like oh and that's not the first time I agree with you Like there there's no way she went from not saying anything to slapping her stomach. I did a whole thing talking about the Pixie the pixie.
What am I saying? The That's me, but I'm also the uh, the depressed gremlin nightmare girl also. There's two sides. You get the manic pixie, you get the depressed gremlin. Uh, I'm going to do a video on that because it always makes me laugh. I'm like, do you know what that is? Manic is, do you know where that comes from?
Right. She's not good. As someone who has done that. Uh, so with pick me, pick me, women have deep, deep, deep internalized misogyny, right? And they are very much about their external. They're very much about validation. Even if they no longer try to fit that, they still think about it. So you have a parent, The mom probably has that, and if she has that, then the son probably has that.
Along with, I don't know what his dad is like, but clearly he has some belief systems going on that are misogynistic in nature. So it's like you have two people who are very much internalized, have that internalized misogyny. It's like, this poor woman did not stand a chance. They both feel like incredibly, like the comments about the 12 year old make it very clear to me.
What this dude is like, and that's edited very aware of. Yeah. Yeah. That's something that to make him sound good. Yeah. Yes. That's something he like thought about put on there. She's 150 pounds. Like, I wonder if that's a conversation you need to like before deciding to start a family was born or having children because their families are more than just children.
Sure. Um, but, but before I decided to have children to somebody like, can you handle If my body changes, like, is that something that is going to affect you? And like, I, you got to wonder if they'll be honest about it, but like, if, if it's not something you can, you can handle, then, you know, then you probably shouldn't be a father.
Well, it's rough. It's rough too, because if, if dads have it, um, if dads have any, even if they're not like horribly misogynistic, but they just have like body image ideas. Right, which there are, I mean, it is, it is based on misogyny, but you know, they could treat women well, but still think that way that does seep down to children.
Like, so you, and any, any gender, so any across the board, like their beliefs will get to the children. So like, those are things you need to know. And, um, yeah, I think I always talk about the fact that like, why nice guys bother me so much in quotations, um, is because they aren't straightforward. Like an a hole, like if the guy's an asshole, like he will maybe tell you.
Like I just watched, uh, love is blind. And he, one of the guys straight up was like, health matters to me. Your body image matters to me. I care what you look like after it was the same thing after the baby, you're going to get in the gym. I'll help you, but you're going to get in the gym. And I was horrified, obviously.
But I remember sitting there and being like, Sadly, like, well, he's straightforward. You know what he thinks when so many men are not like, you'll be like, they'll be like, I love you. I support you. Your body's beautiful. And then you give birth, you know, you are, you are a miracle and give birth. And they're like, now I think about it.
I miss It's the whole thing where they're equally as bad, but one's more nefarious, right? It's one thing like where they're, they're both horrible people for God. No, there's no excuse for what this is. You're that's all that matters to me, but you're right. But, but. Misleading someone on to believe that you're not that person is worse, right?
It is so much more evil in so many ways. It's, it's the whole, like, uh, it's similar to like the, the idea of a friend zone where you are misleading her, this person that we've talked about this before, but like, you're missing someone to think, you know, that you're, it's so much worse than a guy that's just like, like, well, I don't want to be here.
I, I'm only interested in you if you, for this, you know, So I'm not going to go down that road with you because I don't want you to say, well, okay, well, I'm happy. I didn't waste my time then. Yeah. It's like, you think of it, like if somebody holding like a weapon is, is like clearly a problem and they're like, yeah, I'm kind of a threat and you're like, okay, well, I know that about you.
So I'm going to treat you that way that I know you could harm me versus somebody who's like, I'm safe. I I'll take care of you. You don't have to worry about me. And then, you know, you. You go like down a dark alley with them because they've pretended to be safe and you wouldn't go that way with the other guy because he's been honest that he's, you know, trash and dangerous.
And then you end up like, he's like, Oh, by the way, I was evil this whole time. You're like, yeah, that sucks way worse. I would never have gone down this dark alley with you. Versus the guy who was open and I just kept my distance from They're just they they use they use niceness as As a tool they use it as a veil and as a mask so that they can get what they want And they can get you to invest in them They want you to be invested because like this guy's saying this to his wife It's like i'm i'm sure she wasn't clear.
He would treat her this way, obviously because she divorced him Uh, and she probably wouldn't have gone this route with him had she known but instead he You It wasn't straightforward about the way that he felt. And then she wound up decking his mom on some holiday. Yeah. Just read it. If I had just read the title of it, I'd be like, I, you know, from the beginning, it's like, well, let's see where this goes.
You know, obviously I, if my wife just randomly came up and punched my mother in the face, I'd be like, that is uncalled for. Right. I'm, and I would say, I'm, I'm leaving, you know, I have to go. Uh, I'm not kicking even in the worst case scenario where I'm mad, I'm leaving. And that's not, that's not a high bar.
That's not me saying, look at how great I am. That's being a human being. That's like such a, that still blows my mind. I did not. I read this entire thing until I read it out loud. It did not click in my head that it was their house that he kicked his, that he kicked his His wife with their newborn baby out of it.
It's crazy. Cause not just that with him and her, but like that also means for eight days he was just not being a parent either. So those, he was saying, and I only screw you, but also I'm not taking care of my child. I've been mad at my wife before. I would never be like, okay. Cause I'm mad at you. I'm not a parent.
It's like, I just, I'm not going to help you with our child. Well, and it goes back to why, like he, when he kicked her out, he probably didn't mean you and the baby get out of here, but she didn't trust to leave the baby there because. But no, cause they were breastfeeding. They couldn't use a bottle. She talks about the fact that they couldn't use a bottle.
I keep on, I keep on trying to throw something. His don't go down the road. What am I doing? You're the pick me. You're supposed to be on my side. I am. Sorry. No, there's nothing good about, there's no, I mean, there is nothing good about it. Yeah, true fact. And he put those details in there. Again, this, you always have to remember this is his best version.
This is where he looks the best. And he's putting the details in about the bottle. So it's like, That is the wildest thing about these stories is when you are the, when the author is the one and he looks, and there's so clearly you look terrible. And there's like, what is it? What did he leave out? Like, there's got to be way more to this.
Oh, a hundred percent. They always leave out the, like, if this is the good stuff, what's the bad stuff? Right. What, what else was, yeah. Ugh. I, I seriously put my bets that this is a, like a pick me. To Toxic Boy Mom, to now having a man baby. I would put money on it. I would put money that she didn't like, that she wasn't the top priority.
And we don't hear about the dad either, which further puts me in that category. He doesn't mention his dad. So it's like, if it, if there's not a dad in the picture, that can make it extra bad. Because then the son can be even more so like, The, uh, emotional, uh, partner for the mom, which is never good, but yeah, that's what, that's what I'm putting money on and it sucks to be the woman there.
It's I've been, I didn't have a baby with one thing, God, but I've dated, I've dated guys that were like that, where the mom was so heavily involved. Um, It gets much worse when you marry them and it gets even worse if you have kids because then they're very threatened so that all that all tracks, but like, good God, I'm so glad she's like, no, I'm good.
Bye. See ya. Yeah, I don't I had no idea that whole because I we might and you could talk to my wife about this. You have her number now as you're stealing her from me. Uh, but the, uh, They like, my, my mom is the most chill kind of relaxed, like she does not care. She's like, whatever. She's like this hippie, uh, where she's just so chill about everything.
Versus her mom. My wife's mom is very much. If her mom was my mom, they would have fought. Uh, if that makes sense. Like, so she is kind of the typical, this kind of mom in this story, but it's my wife's mom. And so it actually ends up being okay. And that's her situation. Yeah. It works out fine. If for some reason it's not as, uh, as it hasn't added too much conflict.
Well, I guess it depends again. I think it's like why they're like that. Like there are, there are moms who are just like very loving and very like, uh, the matriarch, you know? So there'll be like, they'll, they'll want to be heavily involved. Um, and they'll do so. Yeah, well, that's, that's exactly, and that's why it's, you can, to even when it's, when something annoys you or it's frustrating, if you can see that it is genuinely out of love, right?
You can forgive it. You can, you can be like, grit your teeth and like, okay, I hate every aspect of this, but I can see why you're, why you're doing it. Then you it's forgivable. You're right. You're absolutely right. There is a huge difference there. Yeah. Cause like the, that's, that stems from not the same thing as like internalized misogyny.
I want to control the sun because I have a, from an infirmary, where's a emotional, emotional, Jesus, a relationship with him. I hope, uh, that's what I mean. Uh, but I'm so intertwined with him that I cannot. Separate from him. I don't want him to be happy with someone else. I need him. So I'm going to sabotage his relationships I'm going to raise him to feel entitled.
I'm going to raise him to think he's the most important I'm going to take my internalized misogyny. I'm going to like foster that within him So he will then be a raging misogynist because mommy has told him he's the most important boy in the world So then when he's partnered the partner if she ever says anything like hey I have needs or like I am important also, not only will he think she's wrong, but I will have her his back that he is correct.
And she is wrong. And that is like a very foul thing to do. And that's why I think it feels that's why it's different. Yeah. My mom's very good at, uh, if I, you know, I still have a very good communication with my mom and I'll talk to her about stuff and she's very good at, uh, being like, well, Let's think of this other perspective.
I'm like, yeah, you're right. Okay. That's why I'm sorry. I'll go say I'm sorry. Even if it's little things like other even very small things of like, okay. Yeah, you're right. I'm damn it. You're right. But you need, you need a person that can be honest with you. Cause cause it's whenever something bad happens, whenever you get in a conflict of some sort, you're going to get defensive.
Yeah. Immediately, even though we see this on social media all the time, my first reaction when someone comes after me is internally, I'm like, no, I'm a, I'm a good person. Why are you coming after me? But then you have to, you have to, if you sit with it and actually like reflect on where that's coming from and why it's being said to you, you, it's, it's not as, as nearly as a, there's no reason to get defensive about it.
It's like, if you can listen to what's happening. Again, yeah. I think it's like a parent who may go against you for. For the sake of what's right for you versus a parent who's going to side with you to foster dependence. So it's like a lot of times good parenting, even now I'm realizing it's not agreeing with you.
You know, it's not giving you what you want. Uh, sometimes it is being the voice of reason and opening to other perspectives. And. Doing things that actively make your child the worst partner is not, it's not it. It's not it. Um, and we see that we see that with those moms is that, um, they'll make the child happier, but in the long run they'll sabotage.
And so like, yeah, my mom, I hate it. I, I know my mom's going to side with my wife. Because my wife is the more reasonable one. She's, you know, she's, if someone's going off, it's me. So I'm like, Oh, here we go. I'm like, mom, here's what happened. And she's like very tactfully like, well, here's where you're wrong.
Here's, here's where I think we could think about her side of the thing. And I'm just like, I don't even want to call her now. Cause I know. I know I'm wrong. Like, you know, cause I'm the most, I'm very emotional. Obviously. Uh, calling her and I'm like, I want you to be on my side. And she'll, if I, if I'm right, she'll be on my side.
You know, she's very good at like, here's where I thank you. She, uh, trained to be a therapist. So she's like, yeah, she's a nurse, but she also trained in therapy. So she's like, here's where you're right. And here where both are true, here's where both points are valid. And, and I'm just like, just agree with me.
You have to preface the conversation, mom, I'm going to tell you something. I need you to tell me I'm right. Even if you disagree with me. I need you to be mommy and not therapist mommy right now. She won't. She's like, that's not good for you. And I'm like, that is true. I need to rant about something. I don't need input.
I don't. Don't tell me I'm wrong. That was, that was a big, uh, honestly, a huge revelation. I remember reading it somewhere saying that with my, my wife and I, cause we're both solvers. We always, we always want to solve the problem. And that led to some, we didn't realize it. You know, as a younger, newer married couple, why is it causing conflict when we're trying to solve the other person?
I'm trying to help you. It's like, no, I don't need your help. Right. I just want to, I just need to be angry about something and I want you to be angry with me. I want you to feel as frustrated as I am right now. That's like the, do you want like support or solutions? Uh, which are you looking for right now?
You know what? I will give myself, I'm a great writer. Dyer, whatever the story of my wife is. I'm like, She said, what, what happened? I have no idea what she's talking about. I don't get, I'm so chill. I don't get angry that much. So my wife is, this is why you and her get along, but this is, she's very much everything is very, very big.
And, and I've learned, I'm like, you know, at the end of the day, like what, who is being helped by, by me? Well, did you. Did you think about this person? Maybe the situation, you know, just to play devil's advocate. No one's ever solved in that. No one's ever helped in a situation. No, that's, there's, there's nothing.
Nothing good is going to come in. Aside from like, A very specific one in a million situation where it's usually you just need to be like, yeah, screw that person that got mad at you for doing that bad thing to them. It's also like, I think it's timing because in the moment, no. It does not help to be like when someone's fired up, like solutions don't work out, but then, you know, 30 minutes later you could come back.
That's how we do. We like circle back. It's like, okay, that thing you told me, are you ready to maybe here where we could improve how we treat people? They're like, I'm fired. She's like, okay, well, why don't you get some sleep? She just showed me today. It's in his sleep last night. Now it's fired up about something this morning.
And she goes, I don't know. Why don't you, like, take a quick rest and then see how you feel. Then I always feel better. So it's like, sometimes you do just need a minute, but, um, yeah, just knowing what your partner is looking for, uh, at all, you know, just kind of the opposite of what this guy did. Back to what we're, this whole episode's about.
Yeah, there was no consideration of that. So we agree. He is the asshole. He is the asshole. Agreed. Stamped. I would have choice words for everybody involved in that. The mom and the son. I'd be like, what's your relationship like? Tell me about it. Oh God. To even interact with those people. Yeah, that's. No. She did the right thing though.
I hope, I hope I haven't, I didn't read any follow ups. I hope she actually did go through with the, uh, the divorce. And he had the papers. Yeah. Cause that is, that is a rough situation. I'm never, I mean, I guess it's, it's rare that you're rooting for a family to, to break up, but in this situation. I do feel like she's, she and the, and this is, you know, I will say coming from a house.
My mom left my father when she was pregnant with me. Uh, and my, I've, I've mentioned before that it was a very, my father's a very toxic individual. And there are, there are a lot of times where B, that separation has made, has made me feel The, all the difference in my life, I can see it with my older brother who was around him a lot more and had a much better relationship with him, how much, how much harder he had to work to break away from that toxicity and how much it's influenced a lot of his own life choices versus me.
I just got my happy mommy, uh, even though we struggled, it was still, I, uh, she was the major influence in my life. Uh, and it's amazing how much that absence can, can benefit. It's not always this horrible, terrible thing in, in specific situations. There's like a lot of um, discourse online with, with women who have left toxic partners when they have kids or they're pregnant or whatever.
And it's like, I would rather be like poorer and alone and feel safe than be in a more comfortable situation with somebody who does not support me. Like it is actually There are women who when they are by themselves feel like they do less work than when they were with their partner, which is crazy Right, but so often there was a study that showed that that showed that uh And working or single mothers do, do less work, housework than, uh, married, uh, married moms.
Which is wild. It's not surprising based on the stuff that we, we see. Well, especially if the, if the guy is not doing any housework, then he's bringing in additional laundry, additional dishes, you know, all that stuff. And a lot of times too, the moms who have been momming all day and like being that support person for the children or the child.
Then also our emotional regulators for the dad, which is so tiring and are not getting anything back. So just like removing the extra work of that other person, along with the extra space in their own heads of not dealing with all of their emotions and however they're being treated. I can see how that would be like a relief.
Like this is less work. I have to combat less every day. And hopefully that's the case for this woman. Hopefully she gets away. I don't have faith in him. I don't have faith in the mother. I just No, I think, uh, I think this, this, she's in for quite a ride over the next, uh, lifetime. Uh, and that's unfortunate.
I don't know. I think she, she seems like a badass. She decked her, and then she said, you're a divorce papers. You're absolutely right. I mean, to be perfectly honest, you're right. I'm proud, I think she's going to be alright. That is, that's actually, what a role model right there. Like that's a story. Like, Oh my God.
That'd be amazing. Like what happened? Well, let me explain. Let me show you your father's words. Let me bring up the archives of Reddit. Yeah. Hmm. Here's the telling. It's bullshit, obviously. I'll tell you the real thing that happened. Here's what he said. Yeah, the divorce proceedings with them just reading this.
But I, I mean, that's why I think I called her a queen at that point, but I'm like, that is, that's amazing. Like she knew in that moment, like I have to get away from the student and that is the other side of it. Cause I think a lot of dudes will do that. They'll be like, I don't need space. I need time. I need this.
And it is the woman who realizes in that time and in that space, like, Oh, I don't like this. I don't want this. And then they're shocked. It's like space goes both ways. If you're being shitty, look, that gives people space to think. Yeah, my life was way better in these eight days. These are the best eight days of my life!
Mm hmm. Well, cause that's the, that's the thing too. It's like the, a lot of people will stay in this marriage. Cause, cause parenting is hard. Oh my God. It even, even in the best of circumstances, parenting is hard. So you'll stay because the, the idea is that, Oh, it must be twice as hard. If I was alone, if this is, it's this hard right now, I better stay because I can't imagine a scenario where that would be easier.
And then you leave and you find all these studies that show, Oh, it's actually much easier when you're, when you leave a, a, a, uh, an unsupportive spouse who you were also mothering. Um, obviously not every situation is going to be there. Yeah. If your absence is more of a benefit to someone's life than your presence, you need to think about how you treat people and how you partner.
I mean, it doesn't sound like he was being a partner at all. It sounds like he was being a person. Just a person there just eating food, cooking, not enough food for a party. And it's, it's honestly great advice for, I think, I hope young people think about that. Like, what are you adding to this person's life?
It shouldn't just be, what are they adding to yours? What are you offering them? And, and that shouldn't be the, the only thing you hear them talking about though, why I'm offering her a paycheck. That's. It's, and that's all I'm offering her this perfect body. Uh, these muscles, right? I'm offering her my car.
It's all the, it's always these things that have nothing to do with the stuff that actually matters as your relationship progresses. And it's all this themselves, like aside from the muscles, right? Like they could, I saw, um, it was, I don't remember what the page was. It was like a repost of a conversation.
I think it was like alpha men and alpha women. I don't know. I, we could talk about alphas all day, but basically the guy was like, they're talking about, uh, why men don't like when women bring their own finance, like financial stability to the table. And this guy was like, we don't like that. Cause once you're financially stable, you're, And of course the entire audience started screaming, uproar and this woman was like, no, you don't like that because once we bring finances to the table, we say, what else do you have?
Because we've got it. So what do you bring besides that? And they don't have anything and they don't like that. Uh, and I think that's true. Uh, especially if like. Somebody grew up in a misogynist household like underneath kind of the idea of what patriarchy is in general is that they think, Oh, all I bring to the, as a man, I bring the money.
I make the money. And we, now we live in a society where, I mean, it's very rare that the mother doesn't have to work in some way. It's very rare. One income households are more and more rare. So now women are having to work, even if he's working, uh, in hetero couples. And it's like, Yeah, that's not it. That's not enough.
That's not enough. You need to be a partner. You are not just like, I think a lot of times, uh, toxic men will be like, I hate being seen as just the money. It's like, but what else do you do? Like, what else can you think of? That's exactly it. That's all like, this is the one thing I'm offering. Why do you, why don't you like the rest of me?
Cause that's all you're offering. Gold digger. Well, and that's, that's the worst, it goes back to these contradictions. It's like, they, they seek out relationships with people who want them for that thing because they know that they will stay because they don't, because they don't have any, because then they're trapped.
It's that, that whole, uh, I forgot the exact, but the financial manipulation, right? Where you are. Dependent on that person. That's a very scary situation to be in, but they're seeking that out. But also at the same time saying that I don't want that. And you're a horrible person if that's what you want, but also, uh, at the same time saying that they, uh, that, that, that, that's how you get a woman.
Like, so this is, you're taking lessons and doing this thing and then getting mad at women for liking you for offering that thing. And then, and then they're like, well, if I lose my job, she's going to leave me. Yeah. Get you bring nothing to the table. It's literally like if there's a pants salesman, it was like pants, pants.
And then people have pants like screw you for having pants. And then someone comes up like I need pants. And they're like, Ew. How dare you? They give him the pants. They're like, I hate pants on you. How dare you need pants? Like, I have to give you the pants? You're the pants salesman. You, you said that. Like what?
It seems like all you want is pants from me. You keep asking me for pants. Why? Is all I am to you a pants salesman? Yeah. That's all you're offering. Yeah. Well, cause there's, there's also a lot of these people that are saying like, I've seen tons of this advice. Don't date unless you're well, like you're well established in your career and you can offer all these things.
And it's because like, there's, I hate, first off, it's so classist, right? Cause poor people are allowed to date, poor people are allowed to get married, poor people are allowed to have families. Right. You don't just have to be wealthy. Uh, and that was like a, a weird conflict I had online with some people, but also it's It's just like, it's the whole point of that is, is what we've been talking about is because if you've just focused on that, then you don't have to.
And in their situation, focus on being a caring, emotionally intelligent, loving father, loving partner that can offer that if you lose your job, she'll want to stay with you to, to rebuild instead of just moving on to somebody else that can, that can offer what you said is all you had to I also think that it's Because you see that type of mentality and like You know, it's the alphas and the red pillars like those dudes you see that type of rhetoric About like you wait till the french is a stable or whatever But it's often that these are men who aren't getting women and then they're putting that as the reason they're not getting right Right, so they'll say well i'm not dating because i'm not established and they make that Like they they retroactively Instead of like, I'm not dating, and then hearing like, oh, well, some women, you know, misogyny says women will only date men who have money.
They say, well, I always, I always wasn't gonna date, because I also think I need to be established. So it's like, not even a reality, like, the men who call women gold diggers rarely have gold. I think Drew said that. 100%. Yeah. You don't even have to be worried about that, man. Like my guy, you are not in the conversation.
You don't need to, you don't need to stress, like it's not going to be you. They're seeking out women who are really bad at math. Yeah. I don't even think they really think that. I think they, I think they, they don't have women. They claim that's why they don't have women. Then maybe, maybe some of them act, develop.
Money is like somehow established themselves. And then when relationships don't work out because they have not learned the skills Like all they focused on is that and they don't know how to be a good partner Then they say that's why yeah, or they make videos like why is everyone cheating on me all the time?
This is how to this is how you can keep tabs to make sure she doesn't cheat on you It's something that nobody in a healthy relationship has ever Thought about like if my wife goes to somewhere i'm not like You're cheating on me Is she meeting up with a man? I got to keep tabs on her. I've seen you do a video of that where you're like, I think you're getting cheated on.
I think you're getting cheated on a lot. I think there might be a reason. I think it's you, but, but truly it's because it's like, all of this is stemming from. They don't know how to be a good partner. They don't know how to relate to women. They don't care to. I don't want to say they don't know how, because it doesn't stem from lack of knowledge.
It's out there. These are the same men where women will be like, here's what we like. And they're like, shut up. You, you like money only. Yeah. Part of the human condition is like, you want the easier answer to, and it's much easier to accept. Oh, I don't, it's, it is easier for me to say, Oh, it's this thing. I don't have, instead of saying, Oh, maybe I'm just not a likable human being.
Yeah. That's a much bigger. Task yes to change like emotional intelligence is something. It's a lifetime Of something to develop and even then you'd never master it, right? It's always changing um And so and and you know being a caring father a supportive partner of children is One of the hardest jobs in the world truly, uh, and and that is it's much easier to say Okay, well i'm just gonna get this money and if I get rich enough, then I don't have to do anything And it's never those dudes talking it's men on the internet pretending to be rich Right.
Because they're like, uh, I just made 40, 000 today, trading or whatever the hell they I don't know enough to talk more about what they're talking about. But then they're like, but then they're like, just take my class. It's in my link. And you too. And it's like, okay. If you're making 40, 000 a week or a day, why are you hosting classes?
It seems like you may not be making what you're saying, right? So it's like these dudes who don't have money telling dudes, other dudes who have less money, that making money is the only way to get women. And the only thing women like. So it's all this, like, like everybody who says that is fostering this idea because they make money off of the dudes that like are trying to make money.
Like the only way they achieve that is by making other men believe that they need them to achieve that. So it's this like vicious cycle and it's rarely like, I don't know that I've ever seen an actual, well established, successful man say, This is, women only like men for this. Because usually, if they're in that relationship, it's because they want to be.
They'll be with women who mutually agreed, I am with you, like, guys, Like rich old guys with young women, they are not, I don't think they're under the guise of like, this is love. Like, I think they also know, they're very aware of what's happening there. Yeah. It's a mutually agreed upon relationship, which, you know, I prefer my relationships to have love in them, but it's agreed.
They're not saying that. If it's, if it's mutual, right. If there's agency in that situation, it's a great point. That's, that's wonderful. Then you, you do whatever, even if it's not for me, I can absolutely respect that my, I, I do not know everything. What's right for every single person on this earth. Right.
Same, right there. I don't know what's right for me. Half the time we're not, I know. Right. We make this. Yeah. So, I mean, but, but I, but I can know the agency is important that having your, your, the ability to leave and to be a part of something, but also to By choice is important. Uh, and that's what everyone should strive to, to have as a part of their relationships, even if it's something that's transactional.
Yes. But I think recognizing that the people who say those things aren't talking from experience, like you, you have to, like, if you're following people that are speaking one way, like make sure they actually are living. Like for any advice. If the person talking is not living the experience through which they are speaking to, as the voice of, there's a problem.
Like, half the time they're selling you things. And this, like, there's like mommy, like, influencers who will say, I live on a farm and I, I, I don't, you know, I don't have to work. And then you look and they're selling 800 different things, like, A lot of times you are being sold to when you're hearing these ideas So like I don't think anybody here listening is falling victim to the women only care about money campaign but just when you hear people talking it's important to understand like if someone is Just like the am I the asshole people are giving you the story through a very skewed perspective and if they're gaining from it, you need to really think about what they're saying and and to be able to use your own Internal guidance system to be like, okay, this is what they're saying.
What did they leave out? And why are they saying it to me? Like this guy wanted validation, right? We have to be aware of these things to really, to really understand like messages, especially online. Even us, even us, yeah, yeah. Amazingly, right. We're saying things from our perspective. It's true. It's true.
And it, and it does feel nice to be validated. You know, that's, it's, there is a, there's a boost of serotonin or whatever, uh, dopamine when, uh, when we get that, Oh, a bunch of people liked what I said. Well, I'm happy that I'm not a terrible person. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. But I think at least we. If we're, if we're talking negatively about someone it's because we think they're doing harm to someone and it's important to point that out versus like people who are just like, this person sucks.
Yeah, there's a difference. Like the people that say like, you're just as bad. You're not allowing me to be a bigot. So you're just as much of a bigot. You're a bigot against bigots. Yeah. Yeah, that's how it works. They're there. We are not. You know, equal in this regard. We are not, uh, I hate when people do that's the worst.
That's what's the difference between me hating gay people and you hating me for hating gay people. Homophobia. That's the difference. Yeah. It's how, how did you say that out loud and not understand that there's such a clear difference. Like what I'm punching all these children. Why are you hate me for punching children?
We're the exact same person. The hate is equal. No, it's not. It's not the same. No, you're, I hate what you're doing and the impact you're having on others. You hate people because you're a bigot or you have internalized something that's a problem and you're taking out on other people. So you're right. That is a good reminder that the, the validation we are seeking online is, uh, it's more so about wanting the world to be a better place for people and not just, not just men.
Yeah. Let's laugh about it and learn. Cause I had people sometimes will be like, that's not like I'll joke about stuff. Like, it's not funny. I'm like, Oh, I don't think it's funny. I just am laughing through the tears. If I don't laugh, what do we do? Yeah, if I'm not laughing at a video, you know, it's a real bad, something, something's wrong, emotionally distressed.
Yeah. Okay. Well, is that, I think, I feel like that's, I think that was a good first episode. I think we, uh, I don't know if we did enough pick me and man hating during this, but, uh, I think we got it. I think. I'm sure our audience will let us know. Well, thank you to everyone who's listened to our very first episode of Mr.
Pick Me and the Man Hater. We will be back, different time.
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