Life's Journeys: Inspiring Transformation
Life's Journeys is an audio interview of someone with an inspirational and exciting story, or a journey of self discovery and transformation and how they have positively changed their lives and the lives of others.
My name is James Devine and I am your host for Life's Journeys.
This podcast is for 17-50year olds, of all genders, ethnicities and beliefs.
The episodes focus on Health and Fitness, Philosophy, Spirituality, and Self Improvement. It is an exciting, intriguing and thought provoking conversation that's sure to inspire you.
Life's Journeys: Inspiring Transformation
Business Coach Shares Her Biggest Career Challenge: A Life Story of Twists and Turns
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Experiencing an unpredictable childhood, Business Coach and Spiritual Guide Kristan Swan gives a meaningful interview and shares her journey that began with a challenging childhood that gave her the skills to be successful in the business world. But then, the Global Pandemic arrived, and that changed everything for her. Please join us for an episode that is sure to inspire you.
Kristan's Free Workbook "Clouds To Clear Skies"
https://kristanswan.com/clouds-to-clear-skies/
Pockets of Knowledge podcast "Your Story Is Still Being Written"
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/pockets-of-knowledge/id1647662137
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James Devine https://devineinspiration.org/
Welcome to new and returning listeners to life's journeys. I'm your host, James Devine, and my guest today is business coach and life and spiritual guide, Kristen Swann. At the conclusion of the show, check the podcast notes for a free offer from Kristen, and please share your feedback on this episode. We'd love to hear from you. And now here's episode three. Well, welcome everyone to Life's Journeys. I'm your host, James Devine, with business coach and spiritual guide Kristen Swan. Kristen and I met through an online podcast community, and I was intrigued with her website where she described her experiences as a child, the twists and turns, and what she describes as an unpredictable upbringing. But first, before we delve deeper into those experiences, let me properly introduce my guest. Kristen is a business coach where she has successfully guided entrepreneurs and leaders to build successful businesses. She is a writer and creator of guides, workbooks. Kristen is an experiential learner and a life and spiritual guide. Well, welcome Kristen to Life's Journeys.
SPEAKER_00Thank you, James. I'm delighted to be here. Thank you for creating such a wonderful space for us to have these conversations.
SPEAKER_01Wow, you're welcome. And it it's all pleasure is all mine. So can we go back now to your experiences? As a child, could you please share how your life was unpredictable then and how you positively turn things around?
Life As A Child
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I would say I I don't know that my, I will, I will preface everything by saying I don't know how unique my experiences are. And I just know for myself how impactful, right? That these kind of this sense of uncertainty that permeated my early years um, you know, developed several different essentially survival skills. And so for starters, my parents uh they separated when I was about four years old. And uh I come to find out that they probably weren't uh a matchmade in heaven uh to begin with. They kind of uh met casually and and I was the result of that meeting. So I and that was that was kind of confusing because I would I would always think when my parents split up and even as a a slightly older child, I knew people whose parents um were getting divorced and those kids always wanted their parents to get back together. And I remember thinking, I don't even know how my parents got together. So this um I think kind of some of what I was observing seemed to be out of step with kind of the norm of what I was witnessing other people feeling or thinking, right? So um and I I'll circle back to why I think that also relates to what I'm gonna say. And so upon our my parents' separation, uh, we moved a lot. I lived primarily with my mom. Uh we moved, ooh, I'm trying to think. I I think it was about 13 times, or I lived in about 12 or 13 places by the time I was starting middle school. And only I mean it was all within the same general area. However, it often meant that I needed to change schools as well. So it just created this um kind of continual feeling of always being the new kid. Um, I was an only child, so there was I didn't have siblings to rely upon. And so it was just this shifting landscape, right? And and so part of that kind of set of survival skills that I developed was I became very vigilant, hyper-vigilant around kind of watching what was going on. I would try, I was a little bit of a sponge. I would try to suss things out, whether it was in my new neighborhood or my new classrooms, um, and get the light of the lamp, so to speak, right? And and that's a great, that's a that's a great skill. And I think that, you know, being so um being so focused on kind of what was uh externally happening didn't allow for oftentimes kind of that internal um kind of connection with myself, right? And I think one of those other survival skills that I learned pretty um quickly was to blend in, um to become invisible when necessary, or just um kind of go with the flow, right? Just not creating any kind of um not being too loud or being too, you know, taking up too much space. And and again, that uh, you know, that worked, uh, but as an adult, that isn't often a great operating system. And so I th uh you were asking just the kind of how did I turn that around? And it took time. I I you know I I think that once I I a big thing that changed is once I was able to kind of have some more control over certain things in my life that that allowed me to develop some places of certainty for myself, right? I mean, as I once I could ride my bike places and once I eventually was able to purchase a car and I could, you know, that I had that that uh mastery over transportation, I mean, just these little ways that I could kind of create little moments of peace for myself uh were so important. And then earlier I was saying how, you know, there was that disconnect between kind of what I felt like I knew to be true in comparison to what I was hearing or observing um from other people. And I I you know, and that is the piece that that took more time um was to to start paying attention and to start trusting my own knowing. And that yeah, and that's hard. I mean that that is and that's not a linear process. That is you get glimpses and and then you can, you know, and then you can kind of lose the thread, so to speak.
SPEAKER_01Correct. I if I can jump in and just add just a little bit uh to what you're saying, and the processing is what was coming through for me and what you're saying, and it took you longer to process what you had experienced as a child, is that right? Yes, for sure.
SPEAKER_00And and you know, and also I think one of the things that we innately do as children is we, because again, it's it's a little bit of a survival skill, is we normalize our experience. Um and because if if we were to question what our experience was, I mean, if we're questioning our parents kind of as it's happening, um, you know, that has the potential, or at least in my case, that did not necessarily feel like a uh a very safe conversation to have
Resilience
SPEAKER_00with anyone.
SPEAKER_01No, correct. And I if the word resilience comes through as well, you have learned that. I would I I'm I'm pretty sure that's true. I myself, like uh resilience was part of, you know, I learned that growing up. I'm an adoptee and in the family I my family that had adopted me, uh, I learned resilience. So I feel we can we have something in common there.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah. Well, the resilience piece is you kind of, I mean, again, it's uh we can we can recognize it and uh kind of after the fact, right? Because in the moment you're feeling like you're just you're just making your way. And I think one of the things that I, you know, I'd I I guess just uh how I'm you know, how I came out into this world is is I do uh have a deeply uh um optimistic uh kind of set of beliefs. And so I I think that uh I uh really was pretty determined to keep moving forward uh because I believed that there was uh a way that things were gonna be better or different.
SPEAKER_01Right. And the optimistic beliefs would be things like, yeah, I'm gonna survive. Um that's come through in your website I've read and and and now what you are saying. And the second um is um I just lost my thought, but it was yeah, survival uh and to make something positive of our experience and gratitude. That was a word that I wanted to say. I often growing up was very grateful. I just constantly was grateful as an adoptee. I thank you so much for adopting me. I don't know where I would have ended up. So it's a good way to live and it helped me survive as well. Um, if I can move on to the next um little segment, and this was around for you, I well, around 2020. For me, before 2020, which was the year I had a personal awakening, I was in a lot of turmoil in you know internally, not getting along with family and uh a period that I've grown from, and I'm definitely now uh currently in a in a happier in a happier place. Do do you regret um your past, um which which you wish for a redo? And if you could uh please explain why you feel this way.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, before we started recording, we were talking about our kids. And so that you know, that is I would never ask for a redo because I have these three wonderful humans in my life. And I there are certainly regrets and um you know sadness that I have for I'm I'm not with their dad. Um we divorced after about 11 years of marriage and uh which was a very difficult, um, very difficult time. And also, you know, I I got married fairly young. I wasn't I was I wasn't at a place where I think I was probably making the best choices. So I there are parts of me that wish, you know, of course, that I hadn't been in such a rush, right? Because I think again, I was um still operating from this desire to create um, you know, stability and to to and and part of that was in my way of thinking at that moment was uh I also wanted, you know, have my own family. And essentially that was gonna be my do-over and um you know, and instead, you know, I d I ended up getting divorced. And so yes, I think there's it's kind of a yes and, yeah, that but in the big picture, no, I wouldn't, I wouldn't do a do-over.
SPEAKER_01Right. Yes. I um and but I understand a a person who's gone through trauma and and and they feel that way. I I would respect that. Uh in my personal experience, I I did for a while wish I could, but I, you know, have since changed my thinking and feel that you know what I experienced uh was you know part of my growth and was meant to be.
SPEAKER_00So yeah, and I do feel like, I mean, I am so grateful for I I and I'm not trying to kind of sugarcoat anything, but I I am so grateful for the the experiences I've had. I I do I think that there is what's harder to understand when you're younger, maybe, or at least for me, was the you know, there's uh there's kind of this timing that is, you know, you you can't really control. Um and I think that that's also one of the things that I've learned along the way with these twists and turns and bumps and bruises um is uh to have so much more respect for just that things have a natural timing to them.
SPEAKER_01Well that's well said too, and makes me think uh, you know, of my, you know, when I was younger and how I emotionally was handling things growing up, I didn't do so well. But you you learn and I have learned and uh and I respect my family and have always done, even though I went through this turmoil that was my own, I brought it on myself. And so that's part of what you know my my memoir is is about that I'm working on now and hope to have published by the end of the year, is about this journey as an adoptee.
Career Shift
SPEAKER_01Um just move on now to the next question. In an interview you did, Kristen, not too long ago on pockets of knowledge. You discussed how you had a shift uh during the the pandemic, a change in direction in your professional life. Could you please share uh how this came about and what became your new life focus?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I uh well during the pandemic I was still an active business coach and I was um so grateful to be working with clients um that I had worked with in most cases for uh many years. I I it was such an honor and pleasure to kind of become part of their trusted circle, uh, so to speak. And and I during the pandemic, because I mean, frankly, there wasn't a whole lot, you know, more to do besides work, um I kind of did too much. And um and I I made that choice. And so by the kind of as we were coming out of the pandemic, it took me, it took me a little bit to realize how just exhausted I was and that that this chapter, speaking again of timing, right, that that this chapter of primarily being known as a business coach and and having that be my main uh profession, uh I was coming to an end. And so I I was fortunate enough to to connect with a master's program. And so I I ended up enrolling and receiving a master's of education. Uh, and I I thought in that moment, I thought, okay, this is gonna be my new direction, right? I'm going to um, I will teach and that will, you know, be a nice kind of transition of using the skills that I have and my interest and things like that. And and then I realized, uh, I had I have been pretty much my own boss for so many years. I'm like, I just don't think I can do uh kind of academia. So I gave myself permission for a little while to figure out what the next step was gonna be. And that was a super uncomfortable place for me to be because I always know what my next step is gonna be. I mean, I usually know what my next step is gonna be before the previous step is done, right? I'm I I always know that. And this time I I really, I mean, again, kind of learning about myself and learning about just not to rush things, I said, okay, you're gonna, you're gonna sit with it. I thankfully was hired by a woman who runs a nonprofit to help her with a book. So that kind of that that kept me busy and allowed me to have this this little break in terms of thinking about what it was gonna look like the next, you know, this next chapter. And what I landed on is I I remembered a beautiful um workshop I used to do and we would write spiritual autobiographies, and I thought, you know, this could be a great workshop to rethink and create a new curriculum for, because it had this had been a couple of decades when I had first taught this. And my primary goal was to get people talking, talking to each other, you know, listening to themselves. And really it was the celebration of storytelling, those stories that we tell ourselves, the stories that we tell others, the stories that we've inherited, in the um with the intent to also perhaps bring down the temperature on the amount of, you know, kind of the just the polarization that is happening um within our can my country and and also the world. So that's where I landed.
SPEAKER_01Wow. And you took an uncomfortable step, and that has a lot to do with imposter syndrome. In my experience, I have a a wonderful relationship with imposter. Um Hey, I was just gonna quickly ask that if you can mention, and if you can't remember, um, I'll get it from you eventually, but the name of the woman who helped you write your books, your journals.
SPEAKER_00Oh no, my journals I wrote myself. No, no, no. These I was I mentioned that I was during my uncomfortable pause, I I it was impossible for me to do nothing. So I was so grateful because a woman that I knew from previous projects was looking for help in writing her book. So I assisted her in her book and yeah, no. I am very proud of my workbooks and my journals. Those are those are all me. Oh no.
SPEAKER_01I I beg your pardon.
SPEAKER_00No, that's okay.
SPEAKER_01I knew that was the case. I was uh because I'm writing working on my memoir, it's important to have a coach. So I do have a coach from a distance, and I thought perhaps you had had a coach before you started writing that was uh Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yes, I well we do, and I love that you are writing your memoir, right? I mean, this is this is such these stories. I mean, story is just a it's a powerful, powerful tool for connection and learning and and I and both internally and externally, right? Within ourselves and with others. So I I as I said I celebrate um uh the story in all its forms.
SPEAKER_01Well, thank you for that. And and I got about another five minutes, but I wanted to ask you uh as
Future Projections
SPEAKER_01a projection now, uh, what do you hope for uh in your life in the next five to ten years from now?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I mean professionally I I hope that more people uh you know get their hands on my journals because I think they're such a great tool for kind of self-awareness and and maybe tampering down some of the noise in the world and kind of creating beautiful, quiet spaces for yourself. I I also am currently in development for uh something where I I welcome people to submit their spiritual autobiographies, so kind of the result of that that journey that is um that I have on my website and to submit their work to me. And eventually I would love to be doing an in-person um exhibit that uh is called the Experience Collective, and that is a celebration of different people's stories, both in the written form and ultimately in all forms of of art. So whether you want to tell your spiritual autobiography in painting or dance or music or whatever. So I I love this idea of bringing that into the world. And you know, in meantime, for kind of, I mean, so much of the work that I do is also deeply personally connected. So it's hard for me to separate, but on a personal level, I I look forward to, you know, remaining in deep connection with the people who are important to me and making sure that I uh, you know, am careful not to rush even kind of the the little moments where you get a couple of minutes to talk to a friend that you haven't talked to for a while, or or you know, that you can spend an evening or afternoon with with family like we're gonna do this weekend and and really uh cherishing those uh places where uh we can we can be uh I believe kind of our uh whole selves.
SPEAKER_01Well said, that's wonderful. Um and sounds like a wonderful projection for the future. Well, we're nearly out of time, and I just wanted to give you, Kristen, an opportunity now. Could you share with the listeners how they can find you and get in touch with you?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, for sure. The best place to find me is on my website, and that is Kristinswan.com. Um everything is there, uh, the different journals we were talking about, the workbooks, as well as, I mean, if you are um if you are on Instagram, you can find me at on Instagram and and I also write weekly on Substack, so that's that's there too. And Kristen Swan, if you look under that, that's that's where you'll find me.
SPEAKER_01Well, awesome. Well, and thank you. Thank you again for coming onto Life's Journeys today. It's really truly been a pleasure.
SPEAKER_00Thank you, James, and stay well. It's been a pleasure for me as well.
SPEAKER_01Thank you, everyone, for joining us today for another story of inspirational transformation. And please click the free downloadable link from Kristen on a journal and guide she is offering for you today. And could you also share the link for this podcast to help grow life's journeys where we inspire one another? Tune in next week for an episode that promises to be uplifting. Until then, take care.