Sacred Sexuality - The Space Between Us - Interview with Joy Rigel

Join me this week in welcoming Joy Rigel as we discuss Sacred Sexuality. I want to give you a trigger warning. We touch on some of the darker subjects revolving around distorted sexuality. Sex, touch and intimacy are very important parts of this human existence. It is equally as important to practice being in the present moment and being in your body. The space between us, as Joy calls it, is where we can show up for ourselves and each other. 

Joy is the founder of Qi Haus Foundation, Circle of Eden and Dance the New Dream, and the creator Kali Dance and Exploring Joy.

Joy has over 25 years of experience in yoga, bhakti yoga, meditation and has training in
mindfulness, tantra yoga, sacred sexuality, Tao Tantric Massage, Somatica Method, Alexander Technique, Positive Intelligence, ISTA Level 1, Urban Tantra, Art of Living, and Surrogate Partner Therapy.

Joy holds certifications in Somatica Sex and Relationship Coaching, Surrogate Partner Therapy, Paul McKenna Hypnotherapy, Reiki, Vinyasa & Yin Yoga & Mystical Dance.

Tantra, Reiki, Sensual Mindfulness, Surrogate Partner Therapy, hypnosis, guided meditations, sound healing and intentional bodywork are some of the practices Joya uses to help men, women, couples and non-binary folks cultivate embodied presence, pleasure, passion and wholeness.

Transcript

00:02.56
Annette Dalloo
Today we are talking with Joy. She is the founder of Qi Haus Foundation circle of eden and dance the new dream and the creator of collie dance and exploring joy she uses tantra reiki. Sensual mindfulness hypnosis guided meditations sound healing and intentional body work. These are just some of the practices that joy uses to help men women, couples and nonbinary folks cultivate embodied presence pleasure passion and wholeness. These wisdoms offer foundational support in all aspects of 1 ne's life living relationships and well-being joy I'd like to welcome you to the heart of you I'm so happy that you're here because this is a ah topic that we haven't touched on.

00:49.87
Joy
Thank you Annette. Thank you so much.

01:25.46
Annette Dalloo
I'm so excited about this topic because well first of all, it's going to be multiple topics but we haven't really talked about sacred sexuality. We haven't really talked about sexual positivity on the podcast yet. So this is sort of new territory for the audience. So. What I always like to start with is giving us a little background on you and what your spiritual journey has been like.

02:12.39
Joy
Yeah, thank you. So , you know it's it's always so interesting when I look back over my life and just kind of see how everything is lined up. Ah you know over time and. I think it really started when I was 13 and my my aunt and uncle just gave me this book on mindfulness it was ah Tik Nott Han's miracle of mindfulness and I remember eating or reading a story about.


02:43.94
Joy
He was walking with a friend and they were you know talking and his friend was not so much into the work and and he was kind of getting all jammed up and interested in his stories and and thiknat han sat down and offered him a peach and he's continuing to share the story about his life and what's going on right now. And he finished the peach and at the very end Tiiknat Han was set had said. Ah so how was the peach and basically he was saying that you know he wasn't present for it so it was like it didn't happen at all and that just like blew my mind away I was like oh my gosh.


03:23.41
Joy
If you don't realize you're doing it. It's like it never happened so that for me just , really impacted me and then my dad gave me this. Ah this.

03:27.59
Annette Dalloo
right.

03:37.22
Joy
Tape that had come along to him. It was just like a tape on on nighttime relaxation and it didn't really interest him so he passed it along to me and I don't know why I did it because I was 13 and really didn't seem to care about that stuff either. But I I put it on and I just again was amazed because. What it was was just like body scanning and noticing your toes and noticing your feet and allowing them to relax and I was just like oh my gosh This is working really great.

04:10.47
Joy
So it was really you know those 2 things kind of were in the background of my my young mind and stayed there for a really long time and and really so I think that the con tone for what I'm doing now. It's like you know, being in the body noticing what's happening.

04:27.45
Joy
Really being here for it really experiencing what's happening in real time rather than just kind of processing it all and then digesting it later. , yeah, and then you know yoga and meditation came later and shaped a lot of my.


04:43.92
Joy
My experience and then I you know I really started as I developed in this way noticing that you know something was missing in my relationships and sexual encounters I Just really felt like .


04:59.83
Joy
Like people were having sex with my body but not with me and yeah, it just felt like  I didn't know what was wrong at the time I was like something just feels weird. You know I Just don't know what it is Maybe it's me Maybe it's like I don't know I couldn't you know figure it out So I went.


05:19.49
Joy
Searching and I I studied tantra I explored sacred sexuality in Thailand and India and  and really just started exploring myself ah to see what felt more connected and.


05:36.99
Joy
That just continues you know every single moment of life I'm like what could feel like more real more connected here. What could open more deeply. So so yeah, that's that's my work.

05:49.50
Annette Dalloo
Yeah, well and it's interesting that you say that it's constantly evolving because that is this journey It's always evolving so your sexuality and how you experience. Sensuality and how you experience your own body is going to change over time. So what you might be aligned with let's say you know in 5 years or what you were aligned with ten years ago are potentially completely different things.


06:19.90
Joy
Absolutely and it's not just because I'm changing but also our environment is changing our our like energetic environment is is really impacting the way that we operate you know it's invisible. But it's it's.


06:36.25
Joy
I'm sure you know as an energy worker like influencing us. So I like as as the world speeds up. It is like much more about how much more can I drop in and push against almost this ah tidal flow of forward-moving motion.

06:37.85
Annette Dalloo
Yeah.

06:55.32
Annette Dalloo
, and in addition to that when it comes to experiencing things in the moment and I love the story that you I love the story that you gave because. It really does speak to being able to really recognize even in the small moments like when you are present and when you are not and during any sort of intimate. Interaction and during sex during self-pleasure during anything like that if there is fear and if there is some sort of hang up or ah limiting belief system or something that is going On. All of that is what pulls us out of being present in the moment so in in my experience. It feels like actually this is the place that you need to start looking at.

07:45.62
Joy
Absolutely.

07:59.57
Annette Dalloo
Being in the present moment because it's the place where we escape the most.

08:04.41
Joy
Yeah, yeah, it's also the place where I think the most comes up like like you said all of this stuff comes up when we start ah moving into these moments where we're interacting with each other in these deep ways. So.


08:18.20
Joy
Yeah, that's really interesting. You said that like everything that is running in our programming is what we're bringing to the spirit of that moment and and that's what's happening in the space between us. So yeah, how can we make that the best the most beautiful that it can be.

08:24.42
Annette Dalloo
Yeah.

08:33.19
Annette Dalloo
Yeah, and before we can make it the best and most beautiful it can be. We kind of have to go back to the Beginning. So I'm going to give you an example so you know I've had clients where I've gone into the Akashic records and I've seen where there's sexual trauma or Some sort of something going on either in past lives or current lifetime and you know it doesn't even have to be something as a a deep sexual traa could just be something small like you know a mother saying that sex is shameful or something to that effect you know and that's.

09:05.90
Joy
Sure is yes.

09:09.58
Annette Dalloo
I'm not saying that it's small but that is something that can actually shape how you move forward in your life. So as an energy worker and as an intimacy coach. What is your process like how do you start to Unravel that for people.

09:13.23
Joy
We are.

09:25.44
Joy
Yeah, so some people you know we can't even get to the story of what happened there. It's just a ah sense of something in the in the space. So I like to tell people that I'm an energy worker first because.

09:41.31
Joy
When we sit down and we just really you know begin to let those walls down I might use sometimes touch. You know the very first few moments. We're just talking and I'm noticing what's happening in the space I'm noticing the energy that's present and I'm really ah, kind of.

09:58.78
Joy
Becoming aware of that in my own system and also just calibrating my own system to kind of move some of the initial ah nervousness through because it can be you know nervous showing up I was nervous just coming onto your podcast and I'm like oh there's lots of energies coming through right now.

10:19.17
Joy
Yeah, it takes a minute to like settle in you know, So So once that happens we we usually do some ah some just standing connection where I stand with my client close to my client and and really just we allow what is happening. To like the feelings that are happening to just kind of come Up. We Let our nervous systems kind of Calibrate. It takes it takes such you know a moment for that to happen. So really just being in stillness noticing my breath noticing their breath and asking them to do the same notice your so.

10:55.77
Joy
right now notice your breath notice the length of your body notice my my body right now and as we do this and start to ah you know we start to unwind around these things that we're holding our defenses come down and that's when everything comes up.


11:15.41
Joy
And you know I Just want to say something about that. This is why it's so beautiful intimacy and these deep connections are so powerful because when we allow ourselves when we feel safe enough to allow ourselves to let our guards down this this vulnerability. Allows for all of these things that we've been holding to come up and Move. We're not holding them anymore and when that happens we finally like relax into these deeper parts of ourselves these more comfortable parts of ourselves. But so often we never get.


11:54.53
Joy
To that point we just move right into sex and and that is like we're you know, bypassing this incredible opportunity to become to release these energies. We're carrying and to also be you know once we release these energies. What's underneath are.


12:14.13
Joy
Are these deeper aspects of being that we don't get to experience in our day-to-day in the normal interactions of our world these powerful and meaningful experiences of self and each other and connection that we were. We're really missing.

12:31.10
Joy
Because we're not letting our guards down and really feeling one another. So.

12:34.51
Annette Dalloo
Yeah, you know it's It's interesting that you're the way that you just described all of that as I was sort of feeling into the energy of it I was able to see exactly what you're talking about in terms of it feels like. The intimacy of it is just simply in that experiencing of each other not even touching each other but just experiencing each other and that's the part that terrifies us the most or at least I would say that terrifies me the most right? and and so that's the intimacy of actually.

13:01.52
Joy
Yeah, exactly.

13:13.13
Annette Dalloo
Sitting or standing with somebody's soul with somebody's higher self and with their body all 3 in in 1 being able to experience that without just diving into the the main event so to speak right? So like.


13:28.95
Annette Dalloo
You know in the the sort of analogy I got was almost like you know you're , you go straight to watching the film and you're eating the popcorn like crazy and you're not paying attention to the fact that you're eating the popcorn right? So it's like here.

13:40.69
Joy
Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

13:44.45
Annette Dalloo
You're not paying attention to what's going on right? You're not paying attention to what's going on with your body. So and if you're not connecting on that that level on that intimacy level then it's easy to just sort of push through because you're not connected so to to actually experience that is.

13:58.14
Joy
Yeah.

14:03.16
Annette Dalloo
Is actually what happens before actually having sex versus what's happening during sex.

14:06.89
Joy
Exactly exactly and for some people for some people it can open during sex I think but for most people we just when where people are so focused on you know, cultivating the sexual energy aspect that that channel.


14:26.13
Joy
All of these other channels get missed in the process. So what happens when we when we really sit before each other or just move very slowly and really notice what we're feeling when we start to do that and we start to open to each other and open to the present moment. It's not.

14:45.99
Joy
You know we're not doing it it like we're not doing the the thing anymore we're actually just opening so that the spirit of what wants to happen the spirit of the moment and all these other energies that are very subtle but dimensional. Ah.


15:05.82
Joy
Be missed because we're only focusing on this one channel and you know when when I move in this way and when I help people come online to this kind of system of thinking and feeling. It is Incredible. What. Opens up. It's like it's you know we are just channels for all types of energies and all these all these spirits I you know I Really believe that we're not just one spirit. We're.
Thousands of spirits that move through us at any given time the spirit of laughter the spirit of grief lust all of these things they move through us. We open to them and they move through So what else do we want to cultivate when we start slowing down we can actually.

15:47.48
Annette Dalloo
, and.

15:57.26
Joy
Decide. Also, what do we want to bring to this moment I want a little more I want a little more sassiness or I want a little more depth here and deep senses of self where I want devotion I Want to bring ultimate devotion here.

16:13.79
Joy
There's all these different essences that we can open to once we start slowing down. Yeah.

16:18.53
Annette Dalloo
Yeah, it's like having different moods regarding your sexual practice right? So it's and it just like anything you're going to be let's say in the mood for something you know, fun and.

16:22.10
Joy
The home.

16:34.91
Annette Dalloo
Ah, like you said laughter filled or maybe you're looking for something a bit more serious or deep in that moment or whatever it happens to be like it doesn't always have to be that same energy every single time.

16:45.59
Joy
Right? And it's it's never it never is when we're actually opening to what's occurring.

16:50.99
Annette Dalloo
Wow, that's so beautiful. So what are some of the I would say tried in true tips that you can give our listeners to start exploring this on their own like let's say this is brand new to them. They don't really know. Exactly where to start or maybe they're not ready to let's say call somebody like you and start you know, working through this What would you recommend people start with as sort of first steps.

17:22.43
Joy
Yeah, so you know the very first thing is learning what it feels like to connect with yourself because if you're not able to ah you know what? what? So many people do in connection. Is they you know rise the energy in the other person they you know, try to kind of like.


17:39.96
Joy
Ah, inspire sexual energy in the other person and then they kind of feed off that to get their own energy going which is which is okay I mean it's It's all a wonderful exploration all of it. But if we can really connect to our own systems like.

17:56.88
Joy
The the sense of what's occurring in our whole whole body mind breath awareness of this life form. Ah in the moment then then we can you know start to bring more to each other. So What I Really like to say is just just getting in connection. With ourselves having an intimate practice with ourselves in this world.  I like to go maybe to the park or out to a restaurant and just be like how am I feeling here? What is it like to be here in this moment or you know in the mornings I'll wake and say what does it feel like to be here in the world right now.


18:34.81
Joy
How do I feel being in the world right now and that just dials my connection back to me you know I might also say how could I enjoy this more. How could I enjoy this moment more.

18:46.95
Joy
, and that's hard when your nerves are up. You know I was asking myself that as I was entering your podcast and I was like well right now I just have to slow my heartbeat. But yeah, .

18:57.82
Annette Dalloo
Ah, right? I totally get that? Yeah yeah, no, it makes sense. Yeah, , and it's it's interesting because when you say that oftentimes people will sort of rush Into. You know how the other person is feeling or like making the other person feel good that sort of thing. What just came to me was it's almost exactly like your your spiritual practice of sort of not looking for. Solution in others like not looking to others to fulfill something within you. So So when when I teach my clients about unconditional love and how you are able to walk through life together in partnership. It is about not looking to the other person.

19:33.18
Joy
Yeah.

19:48.71
Joy
Who right.

19:49.41
Annette Dalloo
For anything like the other person doesn't need to do anything to earn your love and so you are walking hand in hand together in your own sovereign energy. So.

19:58.61
Joy
Yes, yeah, so much more energy there when both people are really online and to what is beautiful to what is painful not just part of it. But really, you know what's here. What's present right now.

20:12.53
Annette Dalloo
Right? And then to be able to do that within that sexual practice is I would imagine just so much more powerful from the aspect of being able to. Know exactly how you're feeling and being able to communicate that with your partner.

20:31.72
Joy
Yeah, yeah, and sometimes you don't even need to communicate it with words I feel Sometimes it's better to hold the spirit of what we're feeling inside our systems and bring that as a felt sense to the other. There's. So much there that can be expressed through our bodies through without you know without words that you know if we hold them back and but give them bring them to the moment I I think it becomes really powerful.

21:06.69
Annette Dalloo
Yeah, so when you are working with your clients. You have such a beautiful tool belt. You have such a beautiful set of skills that you  that you embody.

21:21.57
Annette Dalloo
Are they sort of all seamless together when you're working with a client so you sort of intuitively know that maybe there is some sensual mindfulness that needs to happen. Maybe there's some hypnosis. Maybe there's some Reiki is it sort of in it like interchangeable like that.

21:38.38
Joy
Yeah, definitely you know every every session is a lab and it is. We're exploring. You know what works for the client and what doesn't work. We're developing a language that works for them and ah it is you know. It is kind of seamless at this point. , but if yeah, it's I I would say you know we wouldn't we might not go right into Hypnosis. We might not be even if that's what what might be helpful I might be like next session we'll do some hypnosis instead of just kind of landing that.

22:06.61
Annette Dalloo
right.

22:09.77
Annette Dalloo
Sure right? Ah yeah, and I mean the thing is is that when it comes to somebody who is wanting to start working on their own intimacy that is.

22:13.32
Joy
On them on the spot.

22:28.64
Annette Dalloo
I Mean that's a huge door to be opened right? So I think even in that space. You can pretty much guarantee that that client if they're willing to go to in my opinion would be almost the most vulnerable space.

22:31.50
Joy
yeah.

22:45.32
Joy
Yeah, it is yeah .

22:46.98
Annette Dalloo
Then they're going to be able to be open to however things are going to evolve and and come up within their experience.

22:54.40
Joy
Yeah, and you know I think it's so helpful for people I think that they come to me because it's helpful to have a container where they know that this is what's going on. They don't have to perform they don't have to get it right? You know they're they're able to just be with what's happening and if we could do that with each other.


23:13.23
Joy
It would be so much easier if we're just you know exploring ourselves through each other and just a few more things you know tips as to like how to start exploring this. It is I think wonderful to have that just a day where we're not exploring Sex. We're going to take sex off the table with with our partners and just see what it's like to maybe do do  some touch work and what I mean by ah that is when we explore touch in in a way that is like not about getting to sex.

23:48.63
Annette Dalloo
Come home.

23:50.79
Joy
And we just kind of ah relax into a moment that where we're touching for pleasure. We're touching in a way that feels really good to us. We're petting our partner in a way that brings our own systems online. It's ah it's a different sense.

24:08.35
Joy
You know it's because it's it's bounce. We're using basically our partner to help us feel our own pleasure and it's ah it's different than I think most of us have come to touch because we're so focused on what's outward.

24:26.40
Joy
And not like let me dial my attention back to my own system and what happens if I touch in this way. What happens to myself if I Titch in this way. What happens if I put my face down and just lay here in stillness and breathe and notice my partner's breath like the more we notice.

24:45.44
Joy
Our partner systems and our systems at the same time that exchange starts to occur that channel where it's noticing self noticing other noticing my system noticing yours and that brings us really to a deeper. Ah, place it happens Unconsciously for a lot of people.

25:06.27
Annette Dalloo
it's almost like an instrument where you're discovering new notes that you haven't actually played before.

25:12.40
Joy
Absolutely yeah I mean I can't tell you how many clients tell me I didn't even know this was out there I didn't know this type of experience was possible I've never experienced it before.

25:26.00
Annette Dalloo
Yeah, well and the the problem also is that I know I wasn't taught anything like this you know like ah you know my mom was a teacher and so I got the very I would say teacher speak.

25:31.64
Joy
In that.

25:43.24
Annette Dalloo
Version of sex education. So you know there were the videos there were the you know demonstrations of okay this is what happens you know what I mean and that's you know that's pretty much all you get when you're a kid right? You like you get the the functionality of it. You don't actually get.

26:00.66
Annette Dalloo
Any sort of idea about what the intimacy is right? yeah.

26:02.90
Joy
Absolutely absolutely yeah and that's what's occurring in our World. We're We're so focused on the material aspects of what's happening the physicality that we're not focusing on the spirit of the moment. The energy of the moment. What's actually moving between us. In the space between.

26:21.59
Annette Dalloo
now one of the things that I like to really hold space for for my clients is any sort of experiences that they want to have so in other words. If somebody is saying you know I feel like I might be willing to have an open relationship I feel like I want to have multiple partners I feel like I want to explore sex with women or sex with men or you know I want to be you know sexually fluid like. All of these things like I feel like it's important to hold space for anything that somebody wants to explore because we need to be able to not judge or shame people for what they are looking to explore and maybe.

27:06.52
Joy
Yeah, yeah.

27:13.67
Annette Dalloo
That person might explore being polly or whatever they want to do and they might say oh actually you know what? maybe that's not so much for me. But I explored it. So No I know right? or maybe that just lights them up inside. But regardless. Like removing that guilt and shame from all of that I think is really super important.

27:28.83
Joy
absolutely absolutely you know even including people that have ah kinks that are ah you know questionable. That's like.

27:45.48
Joy
The first thing is to first remove shame about it I have a little bit of a divide about this with my I have teachers that  believe that no matter what it is you can use it to get to orgasm even if it's. Ah, dark fantasies, rape fantasies and I know that we're going a little bit dark here and I maybe should have mentioned a trigger warning. , but I think that that's you know.


28:14.95
Joy
That's really challenging is it. Okay, if I go on about this because I do feel like this is an important topic.


28:36.30
Joy
Yeah, Thank you.Okay, That's really great because I do feel like these are conversations. We really need to have and you know the the idea that like this is the other thing with Sex. You know it's so not just about getting to Orgasm. And on using whatever it takes to get there. That's a very  I think that really diminishes the system and our our intimacy even like ah the the deeper parts of our ourselves the vulnerable parts of ourselves when we use these things to kind of.


29:11.16
Joy
Chase Orgasm or or arrive there and so I love these teachers. Actually they're amazing women and they are changing the world in wonderful ways. But this this topic came up about you know, a client being. Ah. Having fantasies about  very young women a how the the mindset was to be Okay, well don't shame Them. We're going to find a way for you to act this out with a consenting adult And you know my thoughts on this are again if we think about the energy like of what we're channeling through our bodies. There's of responsibility I think we have here when we start to think about. If. All of this energy goes into the the ethers of our life. You know the collective Unconscious. It's like what are the Storylines The Energetic Storylines we're creating by channeling these darker and not healing.


30:18.18
Joy
Ah, awarenesses and energies through our body we're adding actually to these ingredients to this collective atmosphere of our world and and this is what drives the Earth ship these collective you know Energies. So. I Think there is a way to tell people you know if you're experiencing this. This is not who you are This is a framework that developed in your mind at some point and and this is why it's so important not to let you know sex and violence they tie these neurological networks in our mind.

30:54.44
Joy
And if someone sees sex and violence linked at a very early age that is forever going to be a very strong neural network in their mind and and then we identify with these networks. We think this is who we are but really, it's just something was linked at some point in time. So.


31:13.50
Joy
Really beginning to Unravel that our minds and Frameworks are not who we are. This is not who you who you are. We can develop a new framework and we can use hypnosis. We can use you know, ah just practice to start to diminish these lines and turn our.


31:31.73
Joy
Attention elsewhere because it's really what we pay attention to that shapes who we are and yeah I just I think that there's just so much more to discuss here and , be responsible with you know what are we bringing to each other in the moment and to these greater.

31:35.48
Annette Dalloo
Right.

31:50.73
Annette Dalloo
Right? And the place where we start shaming or we start denying or pushing away that shadow or that darkness that's where it starts to get bigger and we know that energetically.

31:50.81
Joy
Greater storylines.

32:02.28
Joy
Her hand? yeah.

32:08.19
Annette Dalloo
So just on a and an energetic level just speaking solely in that it is absolutely true that what you what you resist persists right? So when everybody is judging somebody for let's say like you said a kink or something that.

32:16.15
Joy
Yeah.

32:27.45
Annette Dalloo
Is even a little bit darker than that that they may be fantasizing about that. It actually ends up driving them because they can't they can't get out of that space because nobody is looking at them and saying you know what.

32:36.19
Joy
My.

32:43.37
Annette Dalloo
Okay, so you're having that thought or you're having that desire. Maybe you would act on it. Maybe you wouldn't but let's channel that in a different way right? And yeah, yeah, yeah.

32:50.21
Joy
Yes, let's meet what's occurring but not with shame because like you said shame will just make it darker and skew it even more.

33:02.88
Annette Dalloo
And that is the challenge that we all have in this dualistic society right? So we're always identifying or quantifying things as either good or bad and living in that sort of black and white way of not having that gray in the middle.

33:13.93
Joy
Exactly.

33:22.70
Annette Dalloo
Is is harmful. It's harmful to to people who don't fit in those boxes and this this is why we want to have you know equality for all This is why we want to have you know people to be able to be heard and listen to and.

33:29.72
Joy
Ah, yeah, top with.

33:42.35
Annette Dalloo
Not being able to be not feel like they're going to be judged for expressing things that they may or may not want to do right.

33:48.00
Joy
Yeah, if we could just all get our stuff out on the table and just be like you know without you know all these emotional responses and just being like hey I'm in this world I was given this life and now I have this framework. Let's figure this out like let's get to the bottom of of this I.

34:07.35
Joy
You know this world is a lab and I think that the more healing that we can bring to each other and just yeah this this non-judgment there is there is darkness. But if we meet with compassion and really don't cast that.


34:25.29
Joy
You know judgment into each other's fields because I think that actually anchors people in that framework when we cast these eyes of judgment. It. It projects that even more into the person's experience the field of their. You know their Quant fields and then that's information their system grabs onto and continues to create stories around so there's just so much happening in the space between us and the quality of attention we bring to each other is just.


34:59.91
Annette Dalloo
, yeah, absolutely well and also the other aspect of this is we have media we have porn. We have all of these other things in the world that are showing.

35:00.20
Joy
It's just so important.

35:09.60
Joy
And frankly.

35:14.91
Annette Dalloo
People as a collective on a regular basis. All of that darkness and and then we expect people to not think about that darkness when we're constantly shoving it in everybody's face. So I mean and even like the news you know is talking about.


35:32.54
Annette Dalloo
All of the all of the darkness constantly 24 7 and then and then we expect people to not grab onto that darkness right? Yeah, so that's really important and I'm so glad you brought it up because it is a place where I think people really.

35:33.69
Joy
Right. Right? The eye exactly.

35:52.19
Annette Dalloo
Feel The most shame is about maybe there like you said there're sexual Kinks or whatever it happens to be right? and especially if it's something like I For some reason the shabari is coming to me and I'm not sure why it's because of I have I have some friends.


36:10.90
Annette Dalloo
From my past who were really into Shirari and which is if people don't know what that is. It's japanese  rope tying its bondage and so this was something that they were very much into and I remember them saying to me. Oh this is this is not about sex. This is just.


36:28.24
Annette Dalloo
This is just touch. It's just bondage. It's just this and at the time when they said that I really could not separate the two I was like how is that even possible like I don't understand like I don't understand how that can be not related to sex if you're both naked. You're both like you know, tying it or you 1 person's being tied up. You know that kind of thing so like.

36:42.51
Joy
Very.

36:48.22
Annette Dalloo
It was It was something where I was not able to understand it at that time. But now you know, moving forward. You know a couple of decades like I can see now where that particular expression of touch or expression of sensuality and intimacy would be. Something that would be pleasurable for somebody without actually even bringing sex into the equation.

37:12.20
Joy
Right? Yeah because these these more , you know, high octane experiences actually bring us deeply into the present moment. So we're experiencing presence. It's it's easier to feel ourselves. You know for some of us. We kind of get.

37:27.52
Joy
Lost in the whirlwinds of the world. There's so much energy moving so fast. So you know all of the time that it really helps to I know Shabari slows everything down and then you're just being slowly tied in deep presence and then even feeling those.


37:46.30
Joy
Those ropes on your body helps you feel your body. Ah so there's just so much more going on and and also what would it be like if we would be able to you know, be allowed to be in our sexual energy without needing to do anything about it. It's wonderful to feel turned on.


38:01.10
Annette Dalloo
Right? right.

38:05.36
Joy
It's like the energy of life. It's what makes things move. It's like you know it's It's creative. It's like I love being turned on in my body when I'm teaching with others and just not having it be about sex. You know it's just like this is life energy and.


38:24.15
Joy
Moving through my whole system and we're operating you know, just so often in our like head to head instead of like allowing our whole body to be present for the moment you know even when I just drop my my mind for that one moment. My whole system comes online like I.

38:43.96
Joy
Will go into my head sometimes talking about things like right now I'm more focused on the brainy aspects. But as soon as I dial back into my body. You can probably hear the difference in my voice. It's just it.

38:53.26
Annette Dalloo
Yeah, absolutely you can hear the difference in your voice and also it is it is that energy. It is that that Kundalini energy. It's that sacral Chakra energy that just starts firing up and.

39:08.80
Joy
Right.

39:11.52
Annette Dalloo
Yeah, it's it's something. That's one hundred percent natural and it happens to all of us. Especially if you're paying attention right? So all of this being said, whether you are somebody who is just.

39:17.30
Joy
Yeah, yeah.

39:30.92
Annette Dalloo
Learning to discover your own body or if you're somebody who is learning or trying to explore into new things New Avenues How does this practice of sexual positivity and connectiveness. How does this improve your life. On a whole over the course of time.

39:52.60
Joy
Yeah, so you know the more the more we can be connected with ourselves our bodies I I believe these bodies are designed to guide us through this world like I believe they have important information.


40:10.95
Joy
For our Journeys here and I think we forget that we're in a world. We're in a world. We're in a body we're alive and that is like what like this is happening and when I start to tune into my system. My body.


40:30.70
Joy
I mean I've been doing this for I mean for a very very long time now I come to see that my body actually guides me through this world. It literally helps me see what pathways are open and expansive and want me to go in that direction. And what pathways are diminished and won't enhance my experience here in this world. So It's literally like it's not just that we'll have more pleasurable experiences with each other we will .


41:05.29
Joy
You know taste more feel more ah come online more to the the feeling of ourselves in this world. The feeling of home in our bodies and and home in our interactions and in life. It's not just that. It's also that it we ah will be guided in ways that you know.


41:24.94
Joy
We can't be if we're not forming this connection with ourselves I think we have been given a life to tend to and we get to walk it. You know if we think of it like a video game. We've been given a life. We've been dropped into a world.

41:40.37
Joy
We get to walk this avatar around this world to see what lights it up to see what makes it grow. What makes it come alive What it doesn't like you know we get to experience all of this these things and what you know by the time we come to the end of all of this like.


41:59.51
Joy
How how well have we tended this life. We've been given  and we do that I think by by noticing what what we're experiencing what brings us more into connection and and what and what shuts us down.


42:14.67
Annette Dalloo
Yeah I Love that so much because there are so many times on this journey as we are moving through our spiritual growth that we end up in those higher realms those higher spaces. The not brain spaces but the spaces that are beyond our bodies and we have a tendency to float there and hang out there I know I do a lot when I'm in the Acosshic records. But you know when I'm in the acoshic records am I really feeling my body Well sometimes I am it depends on the energy that's moving through. But.


42:52.00
Annette Dalloo
A lot of the time you know I'm often a totally different world and it's almost like I'm not even connected to my body right? I'm it's almost like that astral projection energy. That's a feeling of being elsewhere and and what you're saying and I can totally feel it when you said it, it's that actually coming into your body and and. Being in your body and being aware of your body isn't pulling you out of your intuitive energy. It's actually enhancing and driving it. That's so that's so like absolutely pertinent with that because. When I hear clients say oh I can't hear my intuition I can't hear my intuition one of the things that you always want to do is check in with your body like what is your body telling you right? And if you're not connected to your body It's like 1 of your.


43:46.26
Annette Dalloo
1 of your senses is offline. It's not going to be as strong as if you were connected to all of them. Yeah.

43:48.97
Joy
Yeah, yeah, exactly it is a different sense. It's like all of the senses plus that feeling sense. And yeah, it's a different. It's a different trip for sure.

43:59.50
Annette Dalloo
, beautiful. Yeah, that being said, it's a good segue to exploring mind body and and and excuse me. And exploring that mind body and energetic Connection. You have recently just started a nonprofit called she house with the intention of exploring all that can you tell us a little bit about this project and I know you are super excited about it and I cannot wait.

44:34.25
Annette Dalloo
I cannot wait to share this with with all of my listeners So please do tell us about it.

44:38.75
Joy
Yeah, thank you, Thank you so much I am really excited about it because it just feels like ah all of my all of my life's work coming into one focal point and , you know what I've I've basically been developing my system for.


44:56.57
Joy
For you know I mean 20 years really but very focused for 12 I had a kundalini awakening twelve years ago and , this just became everything I want to do all the time this exploration of of my body my mind.


45:15.26
Joy
And my senses and dialing them in in a more primal way not just to the material realm but to the atmosphere of our world and I really think this is such an important time for this because I you know we are I believe that so much more could happen. In in the and our experiences in our in the the program that's running right now I think we could completely level up if we begin to become aware consciously aware of not just what we see the material realm but the other part of the world.

45:53.79
Joy
Which is the space of our realm The space of our world is just as much here as the physical realm but we're not consciously aware of it and because of that I think it's impacting us in ways that aren't aren't helpful and you know in.

46:11.42
Joy
Many ways that aren't helpful I think that we could use this conscious ah connection with the ethers we could live much longer I Think if we start registering that the the space is here as well as the the physical.

46:29.20
Joy
When we start interacting with both things I think that that will just be. You know, a remarkable, a remarkable opportunity for healing and leveling up and really changing the face of our world when when I start interacting with with. The energy here and it's I believe this is also the quant realm it's ah, there's information here. There's intelligence here. It's a mirror. It's ah it's ah a matrix you know a creatrix. And I think this world really gives us exactly what we put into it what we put out. We get back. So when we become aware of that we can begin to cultivate that and you know the name of the nonprofit is called Chi House and it's spelled qihaus.org is the website if you'd like that and yeah, definitely So she is the energy of life in and Chinese medicine and and Kung fu and things like that martial arts. .

47:28.43
Annette Dalloo
Wonderful. Thank you.

47:42.78
Joy
And and it's basically just the energy that runs through all things it is the air. It is inside of us. It is outside of us and , in this case in our foundation. We've also made it an acronym for Quantum intelligence because when I start really listening here and and you're I'm sure accessing this too. There is intelligence here that we can. We can align to and work with and listen to and when we start listening when we start using our bodies to listen instead of just you know, output but just listen with our senses involved in these primal ways for this.


48:21.16
Joy
Communication so much shifts it is it is you know, remarkable and there's so much I could say about it that I I don't even know how to s it up in just a few sentences. But , what I really want to do is is study this connection between the body mind. And the primal body coupled with this this you know the conscious mind that we have as han beings and how that relates to the the energetic etheric aspects of our world and I you know I'll just say 1 more thing about that like when I Zoom out when I really think of.


49:00.60
Joy
The energy aspects of our world and realize that each of us each person and being in life form here is a resonance right and energy we are we are transmitting the program we're running inside to the. To the ethers of our world. We're energizing this atmosphere with what's inside of us so when we zoom out and see you know think of all the millions billions of people here like what are we all transmitting what what kind of programs are running through us.

49:22.50
Annette Dalloo
Yeah.

49:34.79
Joy
What are we cultivating in the space of our world and that's you know what drives this Earth ship. So when we what happens when we become aware of that become aware of our transmissions and then it gets really exciting when we actually calibrate to one another. Unify our awarenesses and begin to speak to the ethers together with a new vision. A new a new sense for our world. There's so much we can do here if we combine our awareness and link up together. It's like.

49:55.35
Annette Dalloo
The hand.

50:13.20
Annette Dalloo
It is absolutely and I just got this almost visual of every single person on the planet turning within and channeling that beautiful Quant intelligence that divine energy that that she and.

50:13.36
Joy
Magic.


50:32.88
Annette Dalloo
It just all kind of comes out of the top of their head out of the crown Chakra and just creates this beautiful energy together right? and it's just that's kind of what we're aiming towards now right? It's It's what we're wanting to move towards and what we're trying to move towards and. There are very few outlets or organizations even that are studying this because I believe it can be quantified like I I think you can prove this that this is happening and.

51:01.56
Joy
Yeah, yeah.

51:08.76
Annette Dalloo
I Know that it's happening because I've seen the proof and other people know that it's happening because they've seen the proof so it's like if you can if you can actually as you say study all of that and to see. Okay, yes, this is in fact, happening I can quantify it but then also. To be able to understand it more fully to be able to bring further understanding to everyone else as to how to operate within the Quant Intelligence. It's only going to improve lives. That's that's all it can do.

51:38.54
Joy
Yeah, yeah, absolutely And and as we develop these feeling awarenesses because that's what they are. You know these are are deep feeling awarenesses as we develop these you know we're going to come to realize that the systems in our World. Don't make sense anymore. Because they don't help us feel good when we see so much Suffering. We actually feel it in our systems. It's in the energy all around us and it's impacting us and we're already shutting down to it. You know I think that's why we have these defenses and why I think social anxiety is people that are.

52:16.20
Joy
Feeling it already. We're feeling the energy here and it is intense and there's a lot of doom in people's minds and this is all you know, casting into the into the Quant Realm where you know the shape of our world is determined so.

52:33.45
Joy
I Think it is such an important time to be cultivating this. You know this feeling awareness as ai is here and people are becoming more and more accustomed to their screens and less ah able to express themselves to feel what's inside and express you know it. It is just a really important time for it.

52:53.30
Joy
And if there I Also believe it can be quantified because when I am delving into these realms The you know the atmosphere in the room greatly shifts and what you'll notice is that sometimes the house will like crack. There will be like a big crack release I don't know if you've noticed that before when working with your clients. But.


53:14.25
Annette Dalloo
I so I live on the eleventh floor and this building is concrete so I haven't , since simply because it's ah it's an incredibly solid building. Ah so so I haven't heard anything like that in terms of the structure.


53:31.86
Annette Dalloo
But I do sense the the change in shift of the air around me my apartment like my apartment feels because I've done so many of these sessions in my apartment. My apartment is the ymiest energy. It is just so just.

53:49.99
Annette Dalloo
Beautiful and like I don't I don't have to clear it anymore like it's just always in this really great energy. So like and I can tell the difference from that and when I walk out my door and it's funny that you you are mentioning that you know people are starting to now.


54:07.63
Annette Dalloo
See that these systems aren't working because I was just having a conversation yesterday with a friend of mine because I I'm having a really hard time with the the Paris metro. Okay, so I don't have to take it very often because I work from home. So I don't take it often. But when I do and if I have to take it. Long distances or during rush hour where there's a lot of people I end up getting super super angry and then I'm like oh I hate the metro I hate it I hate it's awful. It's awful and then when I was talking to my friend yesterday. We just kind of uncovered the fact I was like oh I was like. Yeah that's a no brainer I'm just picking up everybody else's anger and and their anger is not at the metro either. It's like they don't hate the metro. They hate their jobs. They hate where they're going. They hate everything that they're doing right now. So they're angry about that. You know and.


55:01.12
Annette Dalloo
You know, granted, that's a broad generalization. Not everybody's going to be hating what they're doing but it's you know it's enough of a collective energy that now the metro during Rush Hour has become this energetic bubble of doom right? So like.



55:17.80
Annette Dalloo
So I've made a I've made a ah vow to myself that ah you know if if I have to go out during rush hour I will I will find another way to get there other than the metro because it's not worth my energy right? So yeah.

55:27.53
Joy
Yeah, definitely yeah and and what we need to know about that is that we can't escape that our earth is just 1 giant metro like you know and it's a but we're in a bubble of.

55:41.64
Joy
This atmosphere you know? So we we can't really escape that energy and what are we all? What's the what is the collective transmitting. You know I see a lot of distraction. A lot of ah suffering Really I mean there's beauty here too Absolutely But there's a lot that is impacting us and suffering.

56:00.63
Joy
Seems to be a very visceral experience that we do transmit to each other I know I experience it as well. When I go into certain places.

56:06.30
Annette Dalloo
Yeah, yeah, absolutely and that's something to really think about when it comes down to tapping into collective energies in terms of whatever it is. You're doing So if you are working if you are. In a relationship if you are you know exploring your sexuality. Whatever it happens to be you really have to take a look at what are the what are the collective belief systems about this and what do I believe and what do I need to basically strip away From. What the collective tells me because it's not part of my experience and that's one of the hardest things to do because it's so interwoven in our day to day lives that we just it's almost like on Autopilot. So We really have to stop and be present and aware.

57:02.81
Annette Dalloo
Of Oh ok, there's that belief system that you know you must hate your job and every time you go to Work. It's going to Suck. You know oh I don't have to believe that anymore because you know what I'm choosing a reality in which I'm manifesting or I am. Moving towards the the job that is going to bring me joy every day right? Yeah well Joy. It's been such a pleasure. Thank you so much for being here and talking about your beautiful work with us. It has been an absolute well.

57:21.50
Joy
You make yeah feel wonderful move.

57:37.85
Joy
Thank you, thank you so much. It really has been wonderful for me too and and coming to meet you in this way. It's been really special. So thank you, thank you so much Annette.

57:39.40
Annette Dalloo
Joy. Ah.

57:48.31
Annette Dalloo
So if people want to get a hold of you and work with you. How is it that they can do that.

57:57.48
Joy
Ah, they can find me through my website at Joyasala.com that's J O Y A S H A L A Dot Com and and I'm looking for angel donors for che house and and also you know anyone that thinks they can help quantify. Ah, these experiences you know, scientifically  that I'm very interested in meeting those people as well. So ah, that is again. Cheehouse.com is q I dot or sorry, let me back up q ihausdotorg.

58:31.55
Annette Dalloo
Wonderful and when you are taking on. Oh actually let me back up and just to clarify are you taking new 1 on 1 clients.

58:43.44
Joy
I am and I do work virtually I work in person and and through Zoom I'm in Philadelphia Pennsylvania United States

58:49.42
Annette Dalloo
And where you located? Ok great. Thank you so much all right? So as per usual, you can always reach me at infinite soul love dot com. You can also reach me on all social media at infinite soul love Eleven eleven