AR21:Family Dynamics: Knowing When to Step Away from a Family Relationship

 In this episode, Freya opens up about wanting to address the challenging dynamics within her family, where an unhealthy triangle had formed between her mom, brother, and sister. We explored the past lives she had with some of her family members to help provide context for why these patterns developed. During our session, I provided her with tools and guidance to help untangle these complicated relationships and begin living authentically—whether or not all family members are part of that journey. 

Transcript

00;00;00;00 - 00;00;18;17
Annette Dalloo
If you are in a place of I despise my parents or I hate my parents or anything like that, that's what you need to work on within you. Because what's happening is that you're creating that lower and negative energy within your energy field on your own. If you're cutting off the relationship with that person, that person is no longer affecting your energy field.

00;00;18;18 - 00;00;38;22
Annette Dalloo
So long as you've done your cord cutting and your energy clearing and all of that. Yeah, that's great. But if within your heart you're still holding resentment, anger, fear, that's still going to affect you. That's what you have to tackle.

00;00;38;25 - 00;01;12;18
Annette Dalloo
Welcome to the Akashic Recordings. I'm Annette Dalloo Akashic conduit channel and spiritual guidance coach. I want to thank you for joining me today. The Akashic Recordings is created through the cooperation of my clients who have agreed to have their sessions recorded. Of course, with their permission, I am able to share these beautiful sessions with you. If you are interested in booking a session with me, you can go to my website at InfiniteSoullove.com.

00;01;12;20 - 00;01;50;25
Annette Dalloo
I am inviting you to take your intuition to the next level. In the next couple of months. I am launching Soul Discovery Workshop online. This is a three month program where you meet with me every single week and practice not only your intuition and your spiritual gifts. Discover who you are as a soul as well as connect with others and practice your intuition so you can have the confidence that you need when you are tapping into that Divine Source energy and you're trying to get those messages, this workshop is going to take you to the next level.

00;01;50;26 - 00;02;16;22
Annette Dalloo
You will also start to learn how to access your own Akashic Records. I will teach you how to clear vows and ancestral line traumas. The spots are limited, so I'm going to open registration for a limited amount of time. If you are interested in joining us in this beautiful group of like minded souls, head to my website at Infinite Soul love.com.

00;02;16;23 - 00;03;10;27
Annette Dalloo
There you can head to the contact page and fill out the form, put in the Message Soul Discovery Workshop and I will put you on the waiting list. Freya came to me with some basic questions about soul purpose, soul origin, and life purpose. The most intriguing portion of this session was talking about her family dynamics. When we have dynamics that have been playing out for maybe even lifetimes, we have these cycles that continue over and over again, and we discuss how you can move out of these cycles and start cultivating healthy family dynamics.

00;03;10;29 - 00;03;33;02
Annette Dalloo
What else would you like to look at? Well, my soul origin. I listened to your podcast Exit Points and just wanted to know if I pass them. Then to talk a bit about our family, especially my relationship with my mom, my dad and my sister. Why did I choose this family to do with my parents? Feeling like a bit lost in the direction, but it could be the hardest ending a job.

00;03;33;02 - 00;03;55;13
Annette Dalloo
The company kills themselves, so maybe that's why I also feel a bit directionless and I don't know where to go, but I just feel like I'm waiting on something. But I don't know what the instability at the moment of not knowing what direction to go in is definitely being reflected in your root chakra. I'm seeing the root chakra trying to ground and it doesn't really know where to ground.

00;03;55;15 - 00;04;12;00
Annette Dalloo
I see the energy going down and then it's like I don't know if that's the right place. Let's move it over here and let's see if that's the right place. You're sort of hunting for the right spot to ground and you're not sure where you're. And the songs like me, like not all of your chakras seem to have a pretty soft energy right now.

00;04;12;03 - 00;04;29;13
Annette Dalloo
And that has to do with the period of rest that you're in. And that's by design at this moment. Okay, that makes sense. And this, you like that. You tune the path to me right now and I'm inviting you all. And that's exactly what they're asking you to do. Yeah. So let's move that energy up to your heart space okay.

00;04;29;13 - 00;04;52;23
Annette Dalloo
So this is some energy that is going to be addressed in the portion that we talk about. The family. There's some broken heartedness here regarding your family. There's some old energy regarding your childhood as well. And a lot of this is coming up to be cleared at this time. This is part of what the rest period is about.

00;04;52;23 - 00;05;16;17
Annette Dalloo
You have been getting this intuition for quite some time now, that this is something that needs to be addressed. Yeah, this is not something that will be cleared overnight and it will be a process, but this is something that needs to be looked at because it is something that is creating discord within your energy. The connection to your family is rooted in codependency.

00;05;16;20 - 00;05;40;26
Annette Dalloo
It's rooted in the loss of love and then the lack of understanding of love. We'll take a look at that when we get to that portion. But that is something that is going to be a main focus for you over the next several months. Wellness is energy. It's giving you chills. Yeah. And nice. Okay. So they're showing me that your crown chakra is it's still open at this time.

00;05;40;26 - 00;06;13;29
Annette Dalloo
However, they have ceased to give you downloads and upgrades at this time. And this is because of this rest period. This is because of this work that needs to be done. So I'm seeing you almost like lean your head down. Lean your head over. As in, you're not getting the information right now, but it's giving you time to sort of recuperate and regenerate your energy before you can start connecting in again to get that divine connection and that divine information.

00;06;14;02 - 00;06;31;28
Annette Dalloo
They're wanting to let you know that they're still here, your guides are still here, you're still connected. Instead of bombarding you with information or giving you information on a regular basis, they've just sort of stopped that for now just to let you regroup. All right. So then let's move that energy down into your third eye. Yeah. Same thing with your third eye.

00;06;31;28 - 00;06;50;00
Annette Dalloo
It's just like on hiatus for a little while while you go through this period of rest. I want to thank you. Coola. My Akashic Guide. Thank you so much for being here. Today. We are opening up the Akashic Records. I want to thank Archangel Metatron and Archangel Santa font for allowing us access to the records today and guiding us where we need to go first.

00;06;50;00 - 00;07;10;04
Annette Dalloo
So if all of the things that we are going to cover today, where do we need to go first? Okay, so we are going to go to the family first. So I'm getting that. We do want to look at the father relationship first and why you chose him as a father. You have been in many lifetimes with the current version of your father.

00;07;10;08 - 00;07;44;07
Annette Dalloo
He has been an integral part of your soul growth in very many lifetimes. He is not part of your soul family, but he is part of your experience and how you deal with the challenges in your life. There are certain challenges that you have had in the past where they have defeated you, where you have created a shield around yourself, where you've hidden yourself away from these challenges because of the fear your current father has incarnated with you over many lifetimes.

00;07;44;07 - 00;08;16;08
Annette Dalloo
In order to be able to show you who you are, in order to be able to show you how you can stand up for yourself, how you can fight for your own energy. And when we say fight, it doesn't mean that you have to literally be in a combative energy. But what we mean is that you're not going to just give up and allow somebody to treat you in a way that is stealing your energy, that is berating you, that is not in alignment with where you are going.

00;08;16;10 - 00;08;39;13
Annette Dalloo
Your father hasn't always been your father. In previous incarnations, he has been a brother. He has been a friend. He has been a sister. But each time he has posed challenges to you. And these challenges are challenges of strength, strength of character. How far are you willing to go to be able to stand up for what you know is right and for your own character?

00;08;39;13 - 00;09;01;21
Annette Dalloo
Are you just going to let somebody speak to you, or treat you in a way that you would not want to be treated? When I'm with my dad, like, you're not super close to anything because you want to be reaching and stuff like that. When we do talk, I do see your closeness with him. It's like you said, it's like he's your friend is there and you know, he's there and there's comforting.

00;09;01;23 - 00;09;24;23
Annette Dalloo
I can't see that we communicate that much. You know, he's not a big talker. So you can spend 11 seconds on the phone and find out everything into my personal feeling right now, because right now I have a bit of resentment toward my mom that she tries to control everything. Even though I live in the same country. He tried to control my dad and also their relationship and their dynamic is in my thinking.

00;09;24;23 - 00;09;49;27
Annette Dalloo
That has nothing to do with us. She wants us to unlock that resentment. As long and I don't want to do this, I don't want to hold on to hating somebody. You want remembering bad that he did. I just want to understand what you know. Right. And so we don't see by volume that it's interesting when we see somebody show up in our three dimensional lives.

00;09;49;29 - 00;10;25;21
Annette Dalloo
That is seemingly the opposite of what they're here to help us with. So your your dad is here to help you with standing up for yourself and not tolerating that type of behavior in somebody else. And in the past, he has shown up in your life as a contrasting energy. So when I see you two as sisters, he's constantly like sort of nit picking you, just constantly picking at you the and enough to the point where you, you have to say that's enough.

00;10;25;21 - 00;10;57;24
Annette Dalloo
I'm, I can't, I can't do this anymore. Like stop stop picking at me. Stop making fun of me. Stop whatever it is you're doing. He's played various different roles. Yeah. Now, the interesting part that is unfolding in this lifetime is that he is playing the example right now of what you do not want, right? So you're seeing him be overtaken by your mother's energy, and you see that that's not something that you want.

00;10;57;24 - 00;11;19;05
Annette Dalloo
You're seeing him not communicate his feelings. And you're saying, that's not what I want. You're seeing him retreat similarly to the way that you did in that lifetime. I was just looking at where you would just put this shield around you and retreat into yourself and give up. That's kind of what he's doing as well. He's not connecting into his feelings and his emotions.

00;11;19;05 - 00;11;43;22
Annette Dalloo
And these are the things that sometimes when other people incarnate in our lives, they will incarnate as the very things that we don't want to be. So we can see the example of it. Yeah. So you've grown up with him and his behavior in the way that he is this entire time. And so you can see it and say, oh, I don't want to do that again.

00;11;43;22 - 00;12;02;20
Annette Dalloo
And he's also reminding you of that lifetime that you did do that. And you're like, all right. Yep. Don't want to do that again. Yeah. Okay. It is sort of those situations where we choose to have experiences that remind us of what we did in the past and say, remember, remember how that that turned out last time? Yeah.

00;12;02;20 - 00;12;27;27
Annette Dalloo
We don't want to do that again. It's a subconscious remembering. Because obviously, if you're not necessarily accessing all of these past lives right away, then you're not going to really know. But it's always in your soul signature and you're always going to know intuitively that, oh, yeah, okay. I remember being there before, right? Your relationship with him and his family has been one in the same.

00;12;27;27 - 00;12;51;06
Annette Dalloo
It is something that this entire experience that you have had with him has been about you being stronger and strengthening your resolve and what you are meant to do. We look at the challenges and we say, okay, well, that was an entirely pleasant experience. And you can look at your childhood and as you grew up and everything else that happened.

00;12;51;06 - 00;13;14;13
Annette Dalloo
But when you look at the entire trajectory of how you've grown through those challenges, that's what we need to look at. Unfortunately, what we often look at is just the long history of challenges and say, oh, wow, you know, I went through a lot or I went through this or I went through that. The more important thing to look at is not the challenge itself, but how you responded to the challenge throughout the years.

00;13;14;15 - 00;13;42;13
Annette Dalloo
Yeah, because my mom, she died in 2006, but what else? It loves as it was run through the family. At the beginning I was I didn't, but then when they fell out with my mom, there was an anger toward my mom. They took it out on me. I was kind of caught in between because even though I'm still one's childhood, I would have to spend time with my grandparents and my grandmothers and they would make these remarks that we grew up.

00;13;42;13 - 00;14;03;02
Annette Dalloo
So my most using one time that, you know, she saw that we didn't have a loving grandmother and stuff because her mother died when I was ten. So I didn't really grew up with loving grandparents, with my grandmother on my dad's side. She was a bit kind of two faced. She would ignore me all day. I know when my dad come, she would hug me.

00;14;03;02 - 00;14;35;00
Annette Dalloo
And and so, like long gone, she's my mom's child and I'm like. This vulnerable state developed. I remember when I was little, I was thinking that I miss something, you know, and so. But I was still in my home. I said, actually, you know, it's years. Give me a very good intuition about people. So from the minute somebody is not on these two, all the hiding something I know just from the way they look or there's something silly like it could be in their eyes the way they do their hands or something.

00;14;35;00 - 00;14;53;21
Annette Dalloo
But I just know that they're not telling you the truth. Yeah, it has to. There is some overcoming, but it's not a bad thing, I think. Like I was to my mom, we can't. Yeah, we could be sad about what happened, but the point is that it happened and you can't change it. So that's to get the best and move forward.

00;14;53;22 - 00;15;31;10
Annette Dalloo
You know, she she is still stuck in the past. Like it should not have been this way. It should have been this way. And I'm trying to get along. But, one of the things they are showing me as well about your grandparents is that part of the reason why you didn't have a close relationship with them, and that you didn't know your other set of grandparents, was that oftentimes, if you are a lightworker who incarnates into a particular ancestral line, you do sort of inherit those ancestral traumas, and the part of the job is to just work with them, possibly transmute them, possibly clear them.

00;15;31;10 - 00;15;59;07
Annette Dalloo
You did not want to do that because there was a lot on both sides. And that's not what you came here to do. You didn't come here to help each ancestral line. You incarnated in a family where you could be, in fact, as disconnect from the ancestral line as you possibly could. And that helped you. It helped you to not inherit some of the trauma that your mom has, that you don't have.

00;15;59;08 - 00;16;19;27
Annette Dalloo
Growing up. I didn't see you. I used to think that I didn't have emotions because I didn't feel the extreme joy or extreme sadness down to my friends. You know? And like, I was missing something. Like, I thought they didn't see you. When you say you felt like you didn't feel things, was this towards your family or in general in general?

00;16;20;01 - 00;16;46;28
Annette Dalloo
I mean, I couldn't be with my family or parents didn't have a good father. I'll be fine. But I don't feel the extreme connection that, for example, my friends or my other members of my family, for example, I think I was kind of numb to a lot of things because of my mom. So like, if I upset about my sister doing something and I want to sit by myself, she will see like, why are you upset?

00;16;46;29 - 00;17;06;10
Annette Dalloo
You have no right to be upset and stop it. I was like, you need to happen. You can get it. I want, you know, my whole and also the I'm the oldest in our family. So I think a lot of the resentment that she was speaking to my dad, she put it on me. People on a much like my dad in a lot of ways.

00;17;06;12 - 00;17;34;10
Annette Dalloo
And my mom is a lot like my sister. So I think that's really the divide between us. Well, so there's a couple of things that they're showing me in regards to this. So part of this has to do with your balance. What's interesting is that your soul origin and your soul signature is the one of, of balance that is actually your origin is having to do with having a completely balanced energy.

00;17;34;14 - 00;18;01;02
Annette Dalloo
You don't feel the high highs in the low lows. You feel just very sort of almost neutral but content. Okay. Well, so that is sort of the the nature of your soul in general. But then when you look at other people and their experiences and they have those high highs and low lows, you feel like that is something that you must have in order to be a successful human, let's say.

00;18;01;02 - 00;18;33;11
Annette Dalloo
And that is not necessarily the case, to be able to have concur action. And this is the important piece to have connection with others without having the high highs in the low lows is where you want to be in that balance of what we would call non-attachment, like the difference between that which is your natural soul's origin and what you were experiencing as a child was a combination of two things.

00;18;33;11 - 00;19;00;23
Annette Dalloo
So it is a combination of the soul signature as well as your mom sort of conditioning you to hide your emotions or to suppress your emotions in some way. For you being the soul that you are. It seems like a natural thing to do because if you suppress your emotions, it gives you the the simulation of feeling in that balanced state, which is something that you're used to.

00;19;00;24 - 00;19;33;26
Annette Dalloo
Yeah. The challenge with that is that if you are in a balanced state with no highs and no lows, but you are not connected to either yourself, to the universe or to others, that is where it starts feeling like you're swimming in an ocean of emptiness and there's there's nothing there. That is a very important piece for you to understand because there are times when you are fully connected and you can feel in that neutral, balanced space.

00;19;33;26 - 00;19;54;11
Annette Dalloo
That is when you feel the most aligned in the most content. It is when you are disconnected not only from others, but from yourself and from the universe, that that is where you feel the most lost. So we're going to dive into your soul's origin right now to see what it is about your soul that has this ability to be the observer.

00;19;54;11 - 00;20;23;10
Annette Dalloo
So naturally, when you're so individualized, we want to be clear about how your soul individualized and where you came from, because it is important to know how you came to this balance so readily and so easily. It is your natural state. As in it said, when you individualized from divine Source energy, you did so with every single signature of the divine intact.

00;20;23;10 - 00;20;56;21
Annette Dalloo
Sometimes when people individualized from divine source energy, there are parts of divine source energy that get broken, distorted change in some way through the process of the individualization. Your process of individualization was so gradual and so gentle that you were able to retain every single aspect of the divine within your soul. If you can imagine, we've given you soul origins in the past that were explosive.

00;20;56;21 - 00;21;21;26
Annette Dalloo
She has also seen other clients who have been born out of stars, which is also a more explosive origin, which creates change and difference within those souls from the original divine source. Energy and change does not mean that it is something that is bad. Distortion doesn't necessarily mean that it is bad, it just means that it is something different from what it originally was.

00;21;21;26 - 00;21;57;06
Annette Dalloo
Your piece of divine source energy put its energy out in various places prior to the individualization. If you can imagine, it's like the hand of the divine reaching out to different planets, reaching out to different star systems and galaxies, and experiencing them without individualization, and then eventually being able to individualize through a process that is akin to an atom splitting, where it just creates a second entity out of the same energy.

00;21;57;07 - 00;22;29;16
Annette Dalloo
Now, you might think that that is an explosive situation, but it is not. It is something that is quite natural. Just as an egg splits into two and then it separates into more cells and more cells and more cells until it creates a being that is essentially what your soul did. After this, you decided to incarnate in the highest vibrational place possible, because you knew that if you were to dive down into an earthly experience straight after the individualization, it would have destroyed you as a soul.

00;22;29;16 - 00;22;56;21
Annette Dalloo
So you very gradually went from divine Source energy as a whole, as a collective, to the Higher Council, the higher planetary beings. There are thousands of higher planetary civilizations. You went to several of them. You learned from them. You saw what they were doing and what they were trying to accomplish. From this perspective of your right, intuition about being the observer is exactly what you were.

00;22;56;21 - 00;23;23;06
Annette Dalloo
You went and observed all of these different civilizations. They taught you everything they knew, and you were able to carry that with you. Your soul has always had a very gentle energy, a very inviting, accepting energy, and you are able to mold yourself into any situation that you're in. You connect more to the higher frequencies, and you have done so for a much longer time than you've been in lower frequencies.

00;23;23;09 - 00;23;44;22
Annette Dalloo
This is why you were able to keep your balance on a planet such as Earth, because you have spent a considerable amount of time in other places that are much higher vibrational frequencies. It takes a lot to shake you in terms of keeping you off balance for a considerable period of time. Do you have any questions while I'm just on that?

00;23;44;22 - 00;24;06;13
Annette Dalloo
That makes a lot of sense. That kind of leads to another question, because I was reading the NPC and stuff. They were saying when you had like, if you go past lives, you have a life where everything works well. In most life, I can't say that, but it's always been everybody's been helping. But to me, I've lived a pretty much biased life in the sense that I always have.

00;24;06;13 - 00;24;32;09
Annette Dalloo
What I'm, what you were describing this now makes a lot more sense because you all come through, for example, all my reading about your, universe and all these different things, the energies. And if you were connected to that, then to chatting with somebody or meeting up with friends or something, that was the question you were posing about having a sort of easier life after having challenging ones.

00;24;32;09 - 00;25;07;00
Annette Dalloo
It is a process that happens to most people, as we've shown in the past sessions, we've done. Oftentimes if you come from a challenging lifetime and you go into a what we would call vacation lifetime, if you go into a vacation lifetime, bringing those challenges with you, that vacation lifetime will cease to look like a vacation lifetime. It will actually look challenging to you because you feel out of place for what the energy is.

00;25;07;05 - 00;25;47;08
Annette Dalloo
It is by design that these things happen because it allows you the space and the time to work through the things that you need to work through. Your soul, on the other hand, has not needed these types of lifetimes in the extreme nature that oftentimes people need. And the reason for this is because of your inherent soul signature, because you are able to be the observer and not have the super high highs and the super low lows, you have been able to very easily keep that steady, climb into your soul purposes and your life purposes.

00;25;47;08 - 00;26;13;20
Annette Dalloo
There hasn't been a particular lifetime that you've had that has completely tanked your energy, to the point where it was almost difficult for you to come back from that. And it is because of this, because of this sort of slow trajectory that you find yourself on most of the time. The slow trajectory allows you to very meticulously move forward without having the great extremes.

00;26;13;27 - 00;26;39;15
Annette Dalloo
This is why you feel that you're always supported, because there are things that you have done over the course of your lifetimes that have allowed you to build the stability and the support within your energy to constantly allow that abundance to come through, to constantly allow for all of the things that you need to come through. And while they may not be in grand abundance, it is exactly what you need at the time that you need it.

00;26;39;15 - 00;27;02;25
Annette Dalloo
So that is by design. That is something that you've cultivated over the course of your of your lifetimes. And you're one of the reasons I was asking you. Like, this is my big piece in my videos, I find things come easily to me, whereas when I see my brother and my sister and the artist who's getting things understood in terms of often difficult, and sometimes I feel guilty that it can't be easily.

00;27;02;28 - 00;27;30;06
Annette Dalloo
If I do understand that that's the path that they have to go through. But I still feel like I have it easy and they don't. So what can you do to acknowledge that feeling of guilt honestly and reading all the different things on it? Actually listening for your podcast, that helped a lot because one of the podcasts, in saying that, you know, people like like my dad, for example, in finding does a specific thing that I don't want to be.

00;27;30;07 - 00;27;56;05
Annette Dalloo
So it's not everybody, not because someone is a bad person or the other, but it's the means. There isn't necessarily a bad thing, it's just what we have to move through. Our souls chose not after us. It's an experience that we need to move through. I think looking at things on a more universal picture makes more sense to me than looking at who's on a day to day thing where, oh, I missed the bus and this happened, and then this happened.

00;27;56;05 - 00;28;22;28
Annette Dalloo
Oh my God, somebody instead of instead of looking at things like that, I don't think like, okay, I wasn't supposed to get there at that time. So I just get that right. So that's my perspective and that's really isolated. I still feel guilty, but I guess that's the one part of me. But I know that it's also part of my lesson to not get too attached in their lives as well.

00;28;23;04 - 00;28;48;19
Annette Dalloo
Yes, there is also an element of feeling that if you were to accept the fact that things are easier for you and things are harder for them, and that that is something that they have just chosen, that it it almost triggers a feeling of ego. Yes, that, oh, maybe I'm more deserving or they're less deserving of this experience or this abundance.

00;28;48;21 - 00;29;23;11
Annette Dalloo
That's exactly what I wrote down in my questions that ask you, you know, because like what I was saying, I see this something different from other people. And I said maybe superior or I have more experience in them. And I wrote in brackets, ego because I'm thinking maybe it's in my head, you know, I have this tingle or that whatever you might see, it's a delicate thing to move through when you realize that I have chosen a certain number of things for this lifetime, you've chosen a certain number of things for your lifetime and to understand that.

00;29;23;11 - 00;29;38;29
Annette Dalloo
Oh, okay. Well, for me, in this lifetime, abundance is not an issue. So I'm always provided for. I always have the money that I need. That's not a big deal, but I do have other challenges in my life, and I do have other things that I'm working through that let's say your your brother or your sister aren't working through.

00;29;39;01 - 00;30;19;15
Annette Dalloo
Okay. Oftentimes we sort of slap a bit of guilt in there. Our human self does. And that guilt is there because we're like, well, if I feel guilty for what I have, then that eliminates the need for the ego to say I'm better than them, right? But once you come to realize that you're not in ego, if you're saying, well, I'm provided for and they're not, you can say from a soul level, well, this is something that I have cultivated over my soul's experience, that I have set myself up to be able to have this abundance lifetime over lifetime, because of the way that I've chosen to go on my path and my brother and

00;30;19;15 - 00;30;42;07
Annette Dalloo
sister. Let's say they've chosen a different path, and that's their choice. It's not that they are any more or less deserving of something, it is just simply a choice that they've made. Yeah. So when you look at it from that perspective that it is simply a choice. It is simply a choice. It is what your soul has decided to do, and it takes the ego out of it entirely or reverses what it looks like history with.

00;30;42;14 - 00;31;07;11
Annette Dalloo
I think there's some jealousy and some resentment and everything mixed in with my moment right at the moment, people within some for years. And, you know, everybody says you should talk and that's when you have to go, well, I can't continue to hold on the idea that I don't like and I can't continue to put myself in that position in one place, that at some point we was going to evolve.

00;31;07;11 - 00;31;29;06
Annette Dalloo
And when you try not to the family, they don't get it. So I just want to give you the validation that you need, which is the second you said, I haven't spoken to my sister in quite some time, I cannot approve of the behaviors that she has. Yeah, your entire spirit team, all of your guides, all of your angels were like throwing a party, going, yay!

00;31;29;09 - 00;31;50;13
Annette Dalloo
They're so happy. Because the thing is, is that this is part of what you came here to do in this lifetime is to master that ability to stand up for yourself, to say, you know what? No, I'm not going to put up with that behavior. I'm going to actually go in a different direction. And when you're able to meet me where I am, I can certainly open my heart to you again.

00;31;50;13 - 00;32;12;13
Annette Dalloo
Putting those boundaries up is actually incredibly important for you. And the reason why your family doesn't understand that is because of the the aforementioned codependency that I mentioned in the very beginning of the session. It's basically their codependency in the way that they operate is what is telling you, oh, you need to talk to your sister. You must talk to your sister.

00;32;12;13 - 00;32;38;20
Annette Dalloo
It's your sister. You should have a relationship with her. And this is where I will say from my guides and from everybody who is understanding what unconditional love is. You can certainly send love from afar. You can certainly sit down in meditation and think of your sister and send her love, or have a brief conversation with her in the five D if you wanted to.

00;32;38;20 - 00;32;57;27
Annette Dalloo
But you do not need to have a physical relationship with her, unless it is in a place where you feel it's healthy for the both of you. Does this mean that you continue to just not speak to her for however long it might look like that? It might look like you just don't speak to her for a while.

00;32;57;27 - 00;33;16;28
Annette Dalloo
Or it could look like every so often you send her love in spirit, in the soul, and maybe the universe will let you know when the time is right for you to come together again and have another conversation. And if you're open to that, if you're open to the universe showing you that, then it will happen in exactly the right time that it's meant to.

00;33;17;05 - 00;33;38;20
Annette Dalloo
I think, between my sister, my mother, and my husband, those are the three people that it was very difficult for me to put boundaries on them. When I really care about somebody. Have you forgotten that mom that's coming up with my mother because he's supposed to come visit me in passing in June. On the one hand, she's a very strong lady, and sometimes she plays a victim.

00;33;38;20 - 00;33;57;08
Annette Dalloo
And I don't like when she does that because I will ask them, is. And she tries to do the manipulation you're doing. You all need to talk and then you'll cry. And because my mother doesn't help the sister either. But I'd rather than down here. I understand why you don't want to talk to her when you can do it.

00;33;57;10 - 00;34;13;29
Annette Dalloo
She's going to cry like I don't live love anymore. My brother. That you know, like, cry if you want. That's not going to affect our actions when it's time for us to talk, you know, when we ready. But it's not going to be a time. It's going to get out. My mom, she tries have an ignition thing.

00;34;13;29 - 00;34;34;20
Annette Dalloo
It doesn't work. And then that's like, okay, no, I wasn't doing that. And that's what gets me because I can see it with my sister. I'm just wondering if, this tension between us, if it's been over seven lives or if it's this this month. It started because she seems to resent the attention that I used to get when I was younger.

00;34;34;22 - 00;34;55;00
Annette Dalloo
Especially for my dad and my mom. One of the things that I'm feeling guided to mention regarding your mother. And we'll we'll get to her shortly. One thing that you can do when she comes to visit is if she starts down the path of, oh, you should really talk to your sister. Oh, you should really do this.

00;34;55;00 - 00;35;20;09
Annette Dalloo
Oh, why aren't you doing that? Or she's trying to control. You can simply ask her the question. How are you feeling? Mom, are you okay? What is it that you're really worried about? What is happening when people ask questions or say you should do this, or why aren't you doing that? It is simply out of their own fear or their own challenges that they're having that they don't know how to express.

00;35;20;09 - 00;35;38;24
Annette Dalloo
Sometimes it's that she loves you, and she wants you to know that she loves you, and she wants you to know that she wants you to be happy. She loves your sister. She wants your sister to be happy. She sees maybe your sister in pain and wants her to be someone who is feeling loved. It's about really investigating the reasons why your mom is doing these things.

00;35;38;27 - 00;35;56;13
Annette Dalloo
Why is this something that is coming out of her mouth at this moment, to be able to take the reaction out of it instead of resisting what she says and saying, no, no, no, no, I don't want to hear that. I don't want to hear that. You can simply take in what she said and interpret it and say, okay, well, she wants me to talk to my sister.

00;35;56;13 - 00;36;15;09
Annette Dalloo
Maybe you can ask her, oh, is she doing okay? Is my sister doing okay? Is she having a hard time? Is that why you're saying this? Right? Yeah. So if you turn it into questions and asking her about her feelings and what she's going through at this moment, it allows you to communicate better as far as what is actually going on.

00;36;15;09 - 00;36;37;19
Annette Dalloo
Because oftentimes when somebody doesn't know how to communicate from the heart, they communicate through their fears. And that's when those words come out as controlling, manipulative, all of those things they're showing me that it is one specific lifetime that started this challenge between the two of you. You incarnated together in this one lifetime, and it was the very first lifetime you had incarnated together.

00;36;37;22 - 00;37;03;06
Annette Dalloo
This was not a planned incarnation, and thereby connecting each other to the experience that you had in that lifetime. Okay. Got it. All right. So let's see what that lifetime is then. Let's see what happened there. Oh, wow. Okay, I'm seeing you walking down a like a dirt path. You're actually quite wealthy. You have really, really dark curls, like dark ringlets.

00;37;03;06 - 00;37;23;19
Annette Dalloo
You're probably in your early 20s. You have a bonnet on some sort of hat. You're very proper. You've got white gloves on, and the woman who is your sister comes up to you. She comes out of nowhere and starts yanking at your hair. She starts pulling on your hair. She starts like trying to pull your hair out. She doesn't know you.

00;37;23;19 - 00;37;47;26
Annette Dalloo
You don't know her. She's sort of unstable in her energy. She had gone through some pretty severe traumas in that lifetime that sort of broke her spirit and broke her connection to her own mind. And so she had some incredible anger surrounding people who are well-adjusted people with good energy that were kind. She had this really big anger surrounding that.

00;37;47;26 - 00;38;04;08
Annette Dalloo
She attacked you on the street, hold your hair, did all this stuff, and you were like, oh my gosh, where did this come from? Like, you were really taken aback and you were really startled. And the people that you were with pulled your sister off of you, asked you if you were okay. You were fine. She ended up stalking you.

00;38;04;08 - 00;38;35;26
Annette Dalloo
She saw you and fixated on you, like just fixated on your energy. And the reason why she started stalking you was because she, on a soul level, saw how solid and strong and balanced your energy was, and she wanted to basically siphon your energy. And that's also when she decided, yeah, that's all that was. So what we feel when we are incarnated as human, we are subject to all of the psychic debris and all of the lower energies that are surrounding us.

00;38;35;26 - 00;39;12;12
Annette Dalloo
And because of the trauma and the darkness that was surrounding her and the entities that were surrounding her, it creates a situation where the soul is looking for the best way to heal itself in some way. So if you can imagine your soul looking out through a cloud of darkness, dark clouds and lightning and psychic debris, if you imagine you're a soul and you're looking through all of those things, your perception of what reality is is very different from somebody who has clear energy.

00;39;12;14 - 00;39;46;04
Annette Dalloo
It's not that the soul makes a sort of decision to, oh, I'm going to go maliciously siphon her energy. It is more of a natural thing to do as a soul, to want to try to get themselves out of whatever energy they're in. Okay. So a lot of times what they'll give me as an analogy is like, if you're a drowning person and there's somebody next to you who has a life raft, you're going to try to climb onto that life raft with everything that you have.

00;39;46;05 - 00;40;13;06
Annette Dalloo
If that life raft can't actually hold two people, you're going to pull that other person down with you. So it's similar to that. And that's kind of what she was doing. The soul had decided that it was going to basically try to survive by siphoning your energy. The human is driven by that. So she was basically obsessed with you in terms of how beautiful you were, how much money you had, all of the things.

00;40;13;06 - 00;40;36;02
Annette Dalloo
And she wanted it. She wanted everything that you had. What you're describing is not possible. And that's kind of how she was in this life as well, when you were little, obviously and naturally, it's a physical. It's and she's different like some. So yeah. And so there is a little bit more to the story as well. And this will give you an idea as to why you've incarnated with her again.

00;40;36;05 - 00;41;02;15
Annette Dalloo
She kept on going to your house. She kept on following you places. She would scream at you from the street when you were at your house. It got to be really intense and very unsettling for you. So it got to the point where you called the police and you asked them to take her away. And because you were somebody who had money and influence, you were able to basically decide her fate.

00;41;02;22 - 00;41;22;09
Annette Dalloo
The police asked, did you want to have her locked away? And you said, yes. And so you basically had her locked away in an institution. You felt very, very guilty for this. Over the course of your lifetime, you thought about her often, you thought about what you did and about the fact that you put her in this, this place.

00;41;22;09 - 00;41;43;02
Annette Dalloo
You would occasionally send her things. So you would send her niceties, little comforts and things like that that she could have while she was there. You didn't visit her physically, but you inquired about her and you inquired about her well-being. You heard that she was getting progressively worse and worse and worse the longer she was in this place.

00;41;43;02 - 00;42;12;29
Annette Dalloo
You heard that she was being even further abused in this place. Now, granted, you were not aware of the abuse she had in earlier in her life, but it was compounded by the abuse she was receiving in this institution. And so you felt just helpless to do anything about it because you felt that you made her situation worse as opposed to, better yet, when you crossed over in that lifetime, you made a vow that you would help her.

00;42;12;29 - 00;42;44;06
Annette Dalloo
And so you have been helping her for the last seven lifetimes. Each time she incarnates into your life, she is a challenge for you. Each time she incarnates into your life, you are helping her to get out of the feelings of victimhood, getting getting out of the trauma that she has been in and you have been incredibly successful, in fact, in helping her get out of where she was seven lifetimes ago, like where she is now compared to where she was, is is night and day.

00;42;44;13 - 00;43;10;17
Annette Dalloo
However, she still has all of those things that she still needs to work through. The soul contract that you have in this lifetime with her is complete, null and void. At this time. You have accomplished the things that you were meant to accomplish with her and your soul. Contract ended several years ago. This is why you feel the need to not have a relationship with her, because you have accomplished everything that you came here to do to help her.

00;43;10;17 - 00;43;30;18
Annette Dalloo
It is now her decision and her journey, and her choice to move forward on her path, the way that she is meant to. You are not meant to help her any further on this path. Okay, so does this mean that it is up to her whether or not she has a relationship with her moving forward? Yes, it is your free will decision to have a relationship with your sister or not.

00;43;30;22 - 00;43;50;16
Annette Dalloo
When I used to talk to them before that, we would go through periods where we were very close to why it's like my mom's side mechanics triangle between my sister, myself and my brother. But the it's not sticky anymore. Before she would be between the three of us and she would talk about us with my sisters who talk about my brother and sister me.

00;43;50;16 - 00;44;17;27
Annette Dalloo
And so she keep going. But now she can't do that. Now my mom has the opportunity to sort out things with my sister on one hand with me along with my brother on the other hand. So and not mix it all and see what I think as well. When my sister and I, when we go through periods when we're very close, I think my mom used to get them tell us, well, sometimes you would close the bedroom door and, you know, we chatting and talking and laughing and stuff.

00;44;17;29 - 00;44;43;00
Annette Dalloo
And my mom, she open the door to me. That's why you lock in this door. Yeah. You know, so I think she prefers sometimes when we talk, we're compatible. We kind of smile with you. So because it makes her close, the closest listen to each of us, then. Yeah, well. And also, she doesn't feel left out. Yeah, because my mom is the last in a family of ten.

00;44;43;07 - 00;45;04;12
Annette Dalloo
Oh, well, at that time, you know, they were making his own. But my right, my dad's family is still so. Wow. Oh my goodness. Yeah. That's a lot. Yeah. Imagine this on the radio. Oh my goodness. So my mom was she was growing up like her brothers and sisters. If they were much older than she was they went off to school.

00;45;04;13 - 00;45;20;22
Annette Dalloo
They went back to work, they moved to Canada and stuff. So she was kind of, you know, that kind of home at the end, you know? So she probably also felt, you know, like she was one of the ones that moved to Canada. She stayed in Trinidad when there was nobody who I can see it. But I found children.

00;45;20;28 - 00;45;41;12
Annette Dalloo
And that is very true because you can see the connection between your mom and your sister in terms of both of them feeling less than both of them feeling left out, both of them feeling that they were the ones left behind. Those abandonment issues that both of them have are the things that continue to permeate through both of their experiences.

00;45;41;18 - 00;46;12;13
Annette Dalloo
When you see somebody who doesn't have the same issues that you do, or you see somebody who you deem as having a better life than you, it does create resentment and it creates resentment in a way that is insidious, especially within a family unit, because you don't want to be resentful of your own children. Yeah. But yet oftentimes that happens with parents where they see their kids having a much easier life or a much better life than they have had.

00;46;12;16 - 00;46;38;11
Annette Dalloo
And that is something that they've wanted for their children for so long, because every parent would want their child to have a better life than them, except for the fact that when they do, they start getting resentful and jealous, and it creates all kinds of other emotions within them that are normal human emotions. But if you don't deal with them, and if you don't actually understand that these are my feelings of inadequacy, this is my feeling of abandonment.

00;46;38;11 - 00;47;17;26
Annette Dalloo
I have to deal with this. This has nothing to do with my child. That's where a lot of parents fall short, is because they they were never really taught that these are things that need to be addressed and worked through, versus just sort of taking it out on everybody who, you know, we don't talk about the feelings. We just said, you do what we see exactly in that generational aspect of it is is very important to recognize, because a lot of parents who were in that generation, which you and I are relatively the same age, there are so many parents who were just trying to survive and get through and figure out how to raise

00;47;17;26 - 00;47;38;12
Annette Dalloo
a family, and especially in a situation where you are coming from a different country, and maybe there are other factors involved with how the person grew up and in different cultures and that sort of thing. You have to take all of that into consideration. It's not that you haven't taken those things into consideration with your mom because you have.

00;47;38;13 - 00;48;03;11
Annette Dalloo
It is the fact that when you see her, you still see her as somebody who is working against you. And what just needs to shift for you with her is similar to what I was saying earlier, which is instead of looking at her as somebody who's trying to hurt you, look at her as somebody who is really hurting and go at it from the angle of asking her what she needs.

00;48;03;11 - 00;48;21;03
Annette Dalloo
And if you're in a position to give it to her, then do so. If you're not in a position to give it to her, then you can explain to her why. What are you about? Even if she says one minor thing, my emotions are full and normally I'm not playing that. So that's. That's why as well I find really difficult.

00;48;21;05 - 00;48;47;26
Annette Dalloo
Because, you know, our normally emotional situation, I would be able to disconnect and view it objectively with my mom versus for me, this critical. I was yet to emotion before and distance myself. I can totally relate to that. I have been in the same way in the past with my mom and with my family. Because sometimes you revert back to the 15 year old version of yourself that is getting really annoyed at your parents.

00;48;47;26 - 00;49;07;28
Annette Dalloo
You know, it's like feeling of why couldn't my family be healthy and be in a place where they could love me the way that I needed to be loved? So I went over to Trinidad for a few weeks and ended June. And the first week is fine, is great after the second week and like don't ask you again.

00;49;08;01 - 00;49;29;12
Annette Dalloo
Yeah, you would go take your shower now. Now you can go to bed now. And those are also these are a couple people. Again they haven't left the house. So when I go back there for them it's the same environment and I think the same for them in that environment. But yeah, everything's changed for me right? No. So I try not to.

00;49;29;14 - 00;49;59;23
Annette Dalloo
Yeah. The exasperated it really comes up sometimes, you know, there, there is only so much you can do in that experience. And so we can look to what's going to happen in June when she comes to visit. And it's funny because my mom is actually also coming to visit in June, to Paris. And the one thing that I have realized with, with my mom is what it boiled down to for her, was that she just wanted to be a mom.

00;49;59;25 - 00;50;20;16
Annette Dalloo
She just wanted to mother again, to realize that and to realize that even the control and the manipulation is all out of love. But it's a distorted version of love, but it's still out of love. So what can you do to shift and change the way that you show up in that situation? Well, there are several different things that you could do.

00;50;20;16 - 00;50;47;26
Annette Dalloo
Maybe it turns into something where for the first week you spend the time in Paris, and then maybe the second week you decide to go travel down to the south of France, and then you get two separate hotel rooms or an Airbnb with two separate rooms, something that is allowing that aspect of your own space, your own boundaries, your own way of doing things that is not completely feeling enveloped in everything that she wants you to do.

00;50;48;01 - 00;51;09;19
Annette Dalloo
Try to brainstorm on ways that you can first make it feel like you're still including her, and she's still a part of this experience, but also being able to draw the boundaries that you need to draw. I'm seeing that you have incarnated with her several times. She is also not somebody who you've been with for a very long time.

00;51;09;20 - 00;51;30;06
Annette Dalloo
Oh well that's interesting. Okay. Do we want to dive into this particular lifetime? Yes. Okay. So this was three lifetimes ago and she was incredibly loving towards you. That's really interesting. How does she have such a completely different energy? Like when I feel into her energy now and I feel into her energy in this past life, it's like night and day.

00;51;30;06 - 00;51;50;14
Annette Dalloo
That's what they're trying to show you, is that she hasn't always been this way. So this lifetime that you were together and incarnated in the in this particular lifetime that I'm looking at, was she her mother? She was okay. So she was your mother in that lifetime too? Oh, interesting. You were one of five and you were the only girl.

00;51;50;14 - 00;52;18;27
Annette Dalloo
You were her favorite because you were the only girl. Like she got to really spend a lot of time with you, especially back in that particular period of time, it was more common for boys to spend more time with their fathers. And then the girls to spend more time with their mothers. So it was just sort of how things unfolded, and you just got to spend a lot of really good alone time together.

00;52;18;27 - 00;52;41;20
Annette Dalloo
And she nurtured you, and she cherished you, and she made sure that you had everything you needed. She protected you from the boys. The boys would tease you a lot and like, try to get you into their their roughhousing games. And she was very gentle with you and very kind. That's all she was when I was little, when I was still a long time before my sister.

00;52;41;21 - 00;53;10;02
Annette Dalloo
Right. Again, because I was the first, first child for them and then the first granddaughter for my dad's family. So that was kind of princess life that I had. And at that point in time, my mom and dad were still in a very loving relationship. Then my sister was born, and they will still okay. There was a bit of pulling and funding from my dad's family, but generally everybody was still involved.

00;53;10;04 - 00;53;30;01
Annette Dalloo
It was the year before my brother was born that kind of fell apart. They had a big argument. So my brother, he doesn't know that time when my mother died, the world you could see the love between them. So when I'm telling him stuff like when I was little, you suddenly it's like you go two different people, right?

00;53;30;06 - 00;53;59;13
Annette Dalloo
These people, because we didn't, they were always arguing and apart. And to me, they were cooking together and all this hugging each other and stuff. And I was in the neighborhood. You know, I was there doing the origin story. And they were they came out then they would move up and they didn't experience that for themselves. And this is why they're bringing this up to is that you really can pull in that energy of how you felt when you were a little girl, when your mom was very loving, and when she was in a very loving space.

00;53;59;13 - 00;54;17;07
Annette Dalloo
And if you can look at her through those eyes and through the eyes of this, this previous lifetime, where she was very nurturing to you and very loving, if you can speak to her through the energy of that love and that memory of her, it will help to bring that version of her back out again, because it's still there.

00;54;17;07 - 00;54;42;14
Annette Dalloo
It's still in there. It's just covered up by a lot of her pain and her wounding right now. I wanted to address what you had asked earlier about you feeling sort of lost and stuff, not really knowing where to go. The guides have some messages for you regarding that. They want to let you know that this is absolutely where you need to be right now, that the feeling of feeling lost is simply not knowing where you're going next.

00;54;42;14 - 00;55;05;22
Annette Dalloo
And the problem with that is that oftentimes, especially with us in our human lives, we have a tendency to really want to plan things moving ahead and plan what's going to happen and see what's going to happen. And they really want you to really relax into the feeling of not knowing right now, because things need to sort of brew, if you will, in terms of what is coming next for you.

00;55;05;22 - 00;55;24;03
Annette Dalloo
And so you can't really know what that's going to be until it starts to present itself in a way that makes sense to you. If they would have shown you in terms of an intuition right now, what would be coming for you in the future? It wouldn't make a whole lot of sense right now. And there there are reasons for this.

00;55;24;03 - 00;55;44;02
Annette Dalloo
Oftentimes the changes that we that we notice in our lives that we can see coming are often the things that are just sort of predictable and things that we know are going to happen because it is sort of the current trajectory of our life. And what is happening for you right now is that the current trajectory of your life is changing.

00;55;44;02 - 00;56;04;13
Annette Dalloo
And so you're almost like a train and the tracks are changing, so you're changing on to a different route. And the train is sort of in the process of changing onto that different route. And when you're in the process of changing, you can't see where you're going because you can't see the previous path anymore because that's no longer part of the the journey.

00;56;04;13 - 00;56;28;13
Annette Dalloo
But yet you don't really know where you're going yet. So that's in that in-between space you're in, and they're just asking you to be patient and basically roll with it and eventually everything will become clear. Okay. When I want to turn that, I feel like I can get myself a different path of myself because I've from school when I was in high school and I'm so like, I forgot that bit of myself when I was younger.

00;56;28;16 - 00;56;45;08
Annette Dalloo
Also, like I've stopped going to the gym and stuff and kind of looking after myself personally rather than just doing stuff everybody else and working all the time. It's a long way, but I'm trying. Yeah. Use this time to do exactly that. And what you're doing is, is, is exactly what you are meant to be doing.

00;56;45;08 - 00;57;07;13
Annette Dalloo
And they're saying to not worry, whatever this big changes, wherever you're going, it's going to happen. But if there is a period of time where you need financial support in between that time, you might get something temporary until the new thing comes up. Just make sure that you keep your eyes open and just continue to work on yourself and the opportunities will present themselves.

00;57;07;16 - 00;57;26;03
Annette Dalloo
Continue to to go on the path, and then it'll become more clear as you go forward. Okay. Yeah. And I just want to thank Akula, my Akashic Guide, thank you to Archangel Metatron and Archangel Santa often for allowing us access to the records. Today we are closing the records. Thank you. The records are closed. The records are closed.

00;57;26;03 - 00;57;52;15
Annette Dalloo
The records are closed. Thank you. How do you feel? I feel I'm doing good. I feel like you answered the latter question to the higher I'm up there. That was really okay. Thank you very much. And. All right. Bye bye. Bye.

00;57;52;17 - 00;58;16;10
Annette Dalloo
Thank you so much to Freya for allowing us to record her session. For the purposes of this podcast, family dynamics can be challenging. They can be something that has been happening for your entire lifetime. What Freya realized in this session is that not only have the dynamics been playing out in this lifetime, but they've also been playing out in other lifetimes as well.

00;58;16;10 - 00;58;41;06
Annette Dalloo
It's almost like a puzzle that fits almost perfectly together in terms of your wounding. We have these decisions to make before we come to incarnate on this planet, and we decide which parents we're going to have, we decide which siblings we're going to have interactions with. The decision to be with certain siblings is a less pertinent than it is your parents.

00;58;41;06 - 00;59;03;00
Annette Dalloo
But we do decide these things. Prior to coming here, in Freya's case, it was about sort of making up for something that she had done in a previous life to her sister. Now, did she have to do that? Did she have to karmically, let's say, do something for her sister to help her in subsequent lifetimes? No, she really didn't.

00;59;03;00 - 00;59;31;13
Annette Dalloo
This was her sole choice. Her soul decided. This person, this soul, needs the help that I can offer. So I am going to help her along the way and do the things that I need to do to make sure that she succeeds, and that is that compassion. That is the the feeling that we get when we come across souls that maybe are not in our soul family, those souls that maybe we don't feel familiar with, maybe the ones that really challenge us.

00;59;31;13 - 01;00;02;16
Annette Dalloo
Although members of our soul family can certainly challenge us as well. And when you do this, when you decide to take on the helper role of a soul, if you will, it can create some interesting dynamics. It's not to say that it's something that shouldn't be done, because as a soul, as a higher level soul as Freya is, you do have a tendency to want to help other souls who might be stuck in patterns or might be in lower energy, things like that, because that's just what we do.

01;00;02;17 - 01;00;24;06
Annette Dalloo
We do help each other out. The key point is that it has to be done, as long as it's not to the detriment of your own energy. And this is something that Freya realized in this lifetime, was that she had had enough. Essentially, she had had enough of the behavior of her sister in the 3D in this lifetime and decided to create some distance.

01;00;24;07 - 01;00;52;01
Annette Dalloo
Now, the fascinating thing about this is that her inherent desire to create this distance directly coincided with when their soul contract was complete, and that often happens as well. When our soul contracts are complete with somebody, they just they leave, they they leave our life or we leave their lives or the universe just flows in that way. I can't count how many people in my life have literally just disappeared.

01;00;52;03 - 01;01;10;00
Annette Dalloo
And I'm not saying that in a in a bad way. It's it's like ex-boyfriends or something like that where you break up and that's it. You never talk to each other again. I have plenty of exes that I still talk to, but there are those ones that you just you've never talked to again. And it's not that anything bad happened.

01;01;10;00 - 01;01;43;24
Annette Dalloo
It's just literally that they just disappeared. And that has happened to me with friends as well. And I do know looking back on it now, that it was because we had a particular soul contract to achieve, and once it was done, there was literally no reason for us to be in each other's lives anymore. So that's pretty easy when it comes to friendships or relationships that are not family, because it is a bit easier to disentangle yourself from somebody and go on your separate paths without having any serious repercussions.

01;01;43;26 - 01;02;03;06
Annette Dalloo
When it comes to family, that's where things start getting a little tricky, because you have a situation like Freya does, where she wants to create distance between her and her sister because their dynamic, their relationship dynamic isn't healthy. And then you have her mom coming in and saying, hey, why don't you reconcile? Why don't you talk? Why don't you do this?

01;02;03;08 - 01;02;25;03
Annette Dalloo
And it's one thing to encourage that out of love. But as we saw in the session, that's not what her mom was doing. Her mom was sort of interjecting because she wanted to be involved. She wanted to be involved in this triangle, if you will. And that is the dynamic that I really want to dive into right now.

01;02;25;03 - 01;02;50;27
Annette Dalloo
That sort of triangulation of family dynamics. I know this very well because I have this in my own family, between my mom and I and my sister and my sister and I have spent a lot of time and a lot of energy and a lot of talking, really discovering these aspects and unraveling them and changing the behaviors. And we've gone to a place now where those things don't play out nearly as much as they used to.

01;02;50;28 - 01;03;12;21
Annette Dalloo
They do play out occasionally, but not often. And I'll tell you sort of how we did it as well in order to unravel the dynamics, you have to take it sort of situation by situation. So with Freya, she realized that her mom is always wanting to be involved. Well, we kind of uncovered that that is stemming from her need to be included.

01;03;12;22 - 01;03;31;04
Annette Dalloo
The fact that she grew up in a very large family, and she always felt left out, that she needs to feel included. So what can you do to make a family member feel included without having them basically stick their nose in all of your business? Essentially, you ask them what they want to do. You ask them how they're feeling.

01;03;31;04 - 01;03;53;13
Annette Dalloo
You help them to feel included. This can be difficult sometimes because if you're already in your wounding, if you're already angry about the 40 some years of nitpicking or nagging or interjecting or getting involved or drama that you get from your parents or from whoever you're you're speaking about in your family, it can be hard to stop that behavior.

01;03;53;13 - 01;04;12;21
Annette Dalloo
It can be hard to stop and say, oh, I'm going to take a step back and I'm not going to respond the way that I normally do. So if my mom wants to interject or interfere in my relationship with my sister, instead of saying, mom, butt out, mom, don't do that. Mom. Get away! Stop talking about this or basically pushing her away, which is feeding into her wound.

01;04;12;21 - 01;04;41;12
Annette Dalloo
I'm actually going to help her feel included, but maybe not in that particular way, maybe not as it pertains to my relationship with my sister, but I'm going to include her in something else in the process, let's say. So I'll give you an example from my life where my sister and I are the only children in the family, and when my dad's health was failing, I always happened to be the one that was able to travel to take care of him, go to the hospital, all of those things because my sister had kids.

01;04;41;12 - 01;04;59;21
Annette Dalloo
And so I had a wound of just because I don't have kids, I have to be the one to always go. And that wound started playing out well. Once my sister's kids got older, I started saying to my sister, you have to go. You have to go take care of dad. I can't do it. You need to do this.

01;04;59;21 - 01;05;22;04
Annette Dalloo
You need to do that. And it wasn't until we had a conversation one day and she brought up this sort of codependent dynamic that we had had, and it was stemming from me feeling like I had to do all the work when that wasn't exactly true. She did do stuff in terms of helping my dad and things like that, but it was after her kids had grown.

01;05;22;04 - 01;05;42;19
Annette Dalloo
And so I had this idea that if I couldn't do something, then she needed to do it. And that is absolutely not true. If I can't do something and she can't do something when it pertains to my father's health, then you find a different solution. You hire a nurse, you get a family friend to come and stay. You get a family member to come and stay.

01;05;42;19 - 01;06;07;15
Annette Dalloo
You do what you have to do. Because both my sister and I have always lived far away from home. We've always lived in different cities, different countries. So for us, it has been difficult at times to be able to travel at a moment's notice, things like that. Then there is the obligate version of it. And you know me, I always say, do not do anything out of obligation and do not take care of others.

01;06;07;15 - 01;06;46;21
Annette Dalloo
If your cup is empty. So there are plenty of times back then where my cup was empty and I was still going to take care of my father, and there were times when I shouldn't have. There were times when I probably should have been taking care of myself. There are many, many examples of this throughout the course of my lifetime where it was my sister and I, my father or my sister and I and my mom, and we uncovered something that was also really pertinent to this whole situation is that when we were kids, there was a portion of time where we made a vow, actually, that it was us against them, that it was

01;06;46;21 - 01;07;07;00
Annette Dalloo
her and I against my parents, whoever it happened to be, because my parents divorced when I was very young. And once we realized that that was sort of a vow that we had created, we understood that we had almost fed into this triangulation, this dynamic, once we realized that we were able to clear the vows. So that released a little bit more of that energy.

01;07;07;01 - 01;07;23;07
Annette Dalloo
So you see where I'm getting at it. The dynamic has to be sort of pulled apart in pieces. So I'm using that example of me and my codependency and what I was doing. Okay, so take that out of it. And then my sister was working on some of her things that she needed to work out. So you pull that out of it.

01;07;23;10 - 01;07;57;20
Annette Dalloo
And then we work on the vows and we work on some of the other past life things, and that can kind of pull a little bit out of the dynamic. And slowly but surely you start having a healthier family dynamic. The thing that is hard sometimes is that when you are the more awakened person, when you are the more aware person about your wounding, about your shortcomings, about your vulnerabilities and your insecurities, you do have to be the one to be the bigger person, so to speak, or to be the one that is the observer of other people's wounding.

01;07;57;20 - 01;08;17;18
Annette Dalloo
And that can be exhausting sometimes, because if you're always the one that sees what is going on, then you are trying to accommodate. You're trying to unravel that family dynamic. And I can tell you right now, it is not all up to you. So remove yourself from that position of saying, I'm the more awakened one in my family.

01;08;17;18 - 01;08;34;07
Annette Dalloo
I have to be the one to do it all. Nope nope nope nope nope. Stay on your side of the street. So deal with things one thing at a time. The way that you can and the way that you need to. I'll give you another example from my life where I could see some of my mother's wounding and it was something really silly.

01;08;34;07 - 01;08;51;01
Annette Dalloo
We were going to go to dinner. It was Christmas Eve. We were at Disneyland as we do, and we had all these restaurant options, and it took half an hour of me suggesting, what about this place? What about that place? What about that place? What about that place? And my mom's like, no, no no no no no no, no.

01;08;51;01 - 01;09;14;17
Annette Dalloo
And I was like, okay, what do you what do you want exactly. What is it that you want? Because I have named like 20 restaurants and you, you don't want to go to any of them. And she wasn't really telling me. And after about a half an hour, she's like, well, I have a lot of stuff in my jacket, and I have a lot of stuff in my purse, and you have to go through security to go to the downtown Disney area to go to the restaurants.

01;09;14;17 - 01;09;35;02
Annette Dalloo
And she's like, I just don't want to have to go through security again and empty all my pockets and empty my purse and everything else. And I was just like, oh, okay. So this is her wounding of feeling like she doesn't want to inconvenience anybody because that is something she definitely has. Feeling like her needs don't matter, that her needs don't come before everybody else's.

01;09;35;02 - 01;09;53;15
Annette Dalloo
But you can see how actually her not voicing that was creating an inconvenience for everybody else anyway, because we weren't able to actually go to dinner, we weren't able to go make a reservation. So what she did was finally say, I don't want to do that. And I was like, oh, great. Okay, mom, next time just tell us that right up front.

01;09;53;15 - 01;10;17;02
Annette Dalloo
So then we know where to look. So then we found another restaurant where she didn't have to go through security again, and we were able to go and have a nice meal. That 30 minutes of trying to figure out where she wanted to go was incredibly frustrating. And I was incredibly angry, and I really had to try to stay in my center, which was not working very well.

01;10;17;03 - 01;10;38;07
Annette Dalloo
It can be a little bit like walking through landmines when it comes to this kind of stuff too, because you have in your family dynamic stuff that is old stuff that is from your childhood, stuff that is from your parents childhood, stuff that they experience with their parents and all of those things. And so I just want to let you know that you just have to do the best that you can.

01;10;38;07 - 01;11;00;29
Annette Dalloo
And in the case of Freya, she had to put those boundaries up and say, you know what? I'm not doing this anymore. And until she can work on her own wounding, I'm not going to connect with my sister. And I am here to tell you that if that is a boundary that you have to set regarding a family member, I don't care if it's a brother, sister, mother, father, grandparent.

01;11;00;29 - 01;11;17;29
Annette Dalloo
Doesn't matter who it is, you do it and there's nothing wrong with that. We're taught as we grow up that family is everything. Your family will always be there for you, will they? Not everybody grows up in a beautifully loving family. Not everybody grows up in a family that is supportive. There are people that grow up and families that are destructive.

01;11;18;00 - 01;11;36;24
Annette Dalloo
Now, I'm grateful that I did not grow up in one of those families. Mine was just rather dysfunctional as opposed to destructive. But there was always love in my family, so I know that whatever happened, there was still love, even if it was distorted love, or if it was expressed in a in a way that was maybe not necessarily unconditional.

01;11;36;24 - 01;11;58;04
Annette Dalloo
When you have the basis of love, it makes it easier to work on these things. But if you're in a place where you're in a destructive relationship with any members of her family, it's okay. You can put up that boundary. You can decide to walk away for however long you feel it's necessary. The biggest piece that's important about this, though you still have to do the work.

01;11;58;05 - 01;12;18;06
Annette Dalloo
You still have to do the work within yourself. You still have to work on forgiveness. Now, this is something that Freya didn't necessarily have to work on. She had already done a lot of work regarding her sister internally, so she didn't have a lot of feelings of resentment or anger towards her, maybe a little frustration, but she has been working on this already.

01;12;18;06 - 01;12;37;00
Annette Dalloo
But if you are in a place of I despise my parents or I hate my parents, or anything like that, that's what you need to work on within you. Because what's happening is that you're creating that lower and negative energy within your energy field on your own. If you're cutting off the relationship with that person, that person is no longer affecting your energy field.

01;12;37;00 - 01;12;53;27
Annette Dalloo
As long as you've done your cord cutting and your energy clearing and all of that. Yeah, that's great. But if within your heart you're still holding resentment, anger, fear, that's still going to affect you. That's what you have to tackle. So that is where going into past lives, trying to understand the connection that you have can really make a difference.

01;12;53;27 - 01;13;23;12
Annette Dalloo
So for Freya, seeing the past life where her mother was very loving and kind helped her to see perspective. It helped her to see that her mom hasn't always been like that, that basically it is her own wounding that is creating this dynamic. I want you to look into your heart and identify maybe any relationship. It doesn't have to be family, but any relationship where you feel that you're still holding resentment, you're still holding anger, you're still holding sadness or fear and make it a point to identify it.

01;13;23;12 - 01;13;46;12
Annette Dalloo
Talk to that fear. Talk to that anger. Ask it what it needs. It's important for you to release this. And the inner child work is important for this as well. The inner child work is really important when it comes to family dynamics, as well as letting go of any feelings of frustration or anger. There have been times when I've done a lot of work surrounding these things and I feel fine, I feel great, I feel that forgiveness.

01;13;46;12 - 01;14;09;16
Annette Dalloo
I feel that that unconditional love and I feel all of that, and I feel like I've moved on in terms of that energy. And then I check in with my inner child, and my inner child is like, nope, I'm still angry. And I'm like, oh, okay. So that is also another reason why it is important to check in with your inner child, because your inner child might still be wounded, even if the current version of yourself is doing okay.

01;14;09;16 - 01;14;29;28
Annette Dalloo
Unraveling these family dynamics can be complicated, but as I said before, it is possible. It takes work, it takes time, it takes the desire to work on it. And if you're willing to work on it and the other family member isn't, that is okay. Stay on your side of the street. You work on what you can work on, and draw the boundaries that you need to draw when you need to draw them.

01;14;30;00 - 01;14;56;08
Annette Dalloo
If you're enjoying this podcast, it would be really amazing if you could like, share and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts, whether it's Apple or Spotify. Feel free to give it a review if you feel cold. If you are following me on YouTube, make sure you subscribe and hit the bell so you are notified for every single new episode of the Akashic Recordings.

01;14;56;08 - 01;15;09;15
Annette Dalloo
If you feel called to book a session with me, you can always reach me at infinite. So love. Com and you can book directly on my website. Thank you so much for all of your support and I can't wait to connect with you next week.