Nothing But Anarchy
"Nothing But Anarchy" hosted by Chad Sanders explores and subverts sports, media, Hollywood, and culture. Chad's vulnerable and raw commentary creates a fresh podcast experience you don't want to miss. Tune in Tuesdays and Thursdays at 12PM ET on Youtube Live.
Subscribe to the "Nothing But Anarchy" Youtube channel for full interviews and more anarchy!
Game analysis, social commentary, and music.
Instagram: @chadsand
Executive Producer: Chad Sanders
Producer: Morgan Williams
Music: Marcus Williams
Nothing But Anarchy
Eps. #92 Birthday Reflections, Judgements on Self-Promotion, Inputs vs Outputs, John Mulaney, and Memoirs
In this episode Chad delves into his birthday revelations, self promotion and the judgement that can come with it, the importance of understanding inputs, and John Mulaney's ex wife, Anna Marie Tendler's, upcoming memoir.
Tune in Tuesdays and Thursdays at 12PM ET to watch the show live on Youtube. Follow @chadsand on Instagram and subscribe to the Nothing But Anarchy Youtube channel for full interviews and more anarchy!
Executive Produced by: Chad Sanders
Produced by: Morgan Williams
All right, it's nothing but anarchy. I am Chad Sanders. Welcome bike, morgan. We got what? 5000 downloads now? Yeah, that's pretty good. Yes, we're doing something. Look, this is a compounding interest vehicle. Over time it is growing. We're watching it grow. Also, it is growing in artistic dimensions. On Tuesday, me and Morgan went out and did an episode of the show in Prospect Park in the rain, in the fucking rain. We did not anticipate the. I mean, we could not have it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I saw that.
Speaker 1:We saw it on the weather once we made the decision, because it was also supposed to rain today. So actually the reason why we did it Tuesday is because when we checked the weather last week it said it was going to rain today. Obviously, it is not raining now, right now.
Speaker 1:Of course it's not yes, but but I actually think that God and the universe conspired in our favor, because that meant that the park was basically empty, so we didn't have to deal with a bunch of foot traffic and people walking past us and shit. And this is the thing. We're doing something here. We call it a podcast, but like a podcast means anything. Now, Like this is a show and we're trying to offer you as many dimensions of the show as possible and within those dimensions, like we're trying to also bring, we're trying to bring you with us where we're at. So we're in the park. We want you all to be able to see the beautiful park. A puppy comes and runs up on the show. We want you guys to be there with us with the puppy.
Speaker 1:A lot of people are consuming this show while doing their life. Sitting there through a work call that they don't want to be on doing shit for their kids, making dinner, whatever. Like we want you all to be able to be with us and the show while you're doing your life. So we're trying to take it some new places. My birthday was yesterday, so let's start right there.
Speaker 1:Tuesday we're, we got poured on like we are cold and wet by the end of this experience in Prospect Park. We did a little bit of it in under the arch, like that you walk into when you go in the main entrance of right by Grand Army Plaza. But for most of the show we were getting poured on. And then we get in the car and the conversation is like we need to drink ginger because we need to not get sick from this and like Morgan and I really like I know everybody needs to not get sick. Obviously we all have like lives and shit like that, but like we really need to not get sick, Like it's. It's really bad for everything If one of us is not able to get up and do the things we got to do. We both have 50, 11 jobs, like we both have to be on our feet for our jobs, so we need to not get sick. So we so thankfully we're not sick. It's great. But but as we're leaving, Morgan asks me.
Speaker 1:She says something like um as if you were a birthday person you asked about the birthday person and you asked if I was going to get myself something for my birthday Right, and my response to that was what?
Speaker 2:you're going to let yourself spend more money on ads.
Speaker 1:I'm going to give myself a little more budget to boost things that I am promoting on Instagram, and that is just honesty. At this particular phase of my life, I am investing in growing this platform so that this can be, so that this expanded can be my life for as long as I want it to be. So I don't want to spend $500 on a jacket or $1,000 on a trip and we're going to come back to that. Um, I would rather spend $1,000 or $500, maybe a month or $1,000, two months or two months for $1,000, or a month $1,000. Maybe two years for the 50s? I'm thinking about $500, that it could be the longest open month for the beautyUR that could meinve and those answers are to be reviewed in the two nextっ.
Speaker 1:I would say the first half of the day was difficult for me For a few reasons. One, it's my first birthday single in five years, basically. So there was a. You know I'm used to this life now. I'm in this life now. I'm honestly been enjoying this life now, but it was like birthdays are a weird moment where you are being asked by people that care about you and others and strangers in some ways, to take stock of your life, like to take inventory. And my life is not. It just is what it is. I gotta call it on its face. Like my life is not like other people's lives. Like this is not a day where my coworkers are gonna come bring me a cupcake you know what I mean. Like there's no going to the conference room where everybody just sing happy birthday. I don't get paid for a week. Like I can't take paid time off to go on a vacation, you know what I mean. Like who's gonna pay me? So on a birthday and I've said this about I feel this way on other days too.
Speaker 1:I often feel this way. I used to feel this way on weekends, not as much right now, but I often feel this way on holidays, where I can feel the quiet. Even from, like where I'm working, which is honestly mostly in my home office here in the car on the way here, I can feel the quiet of people not stirring at their places of business and it annoys me that everybody's chilling because I'm fucking working and I'm working like that's not a sob story, Like truly I love to work. Part of what was hard for me yesterday was some voice was telling me Chad, you're supposed to take it easy today. Like I can hear someone being like oh, are you gonna take the day off? Oh, in fact, some people ask me that. But like that's not fun to me, that's not like taking the day off to do. My whole life is a day off. Like what the fuck am I gonna take the day off to do? Like dead ass.
Speaker 2:I feel you on that.
Speaker 1:Like what, like what would I like take a day off. Nigga Like this. What do you guys think of me? I do every day, like so I'm like, how am I supposed? Okay, so I'm like, all right, I take the day off and I look up and I'm just sitting at my counter drinking coffee because I'm like I guess I'm taking the day off. Like what the fuck is a day off? Penny is okay. So Penny's there, penny's with me, right? Penny's my 80 pound German shepherd, four years. She turns four next month. Sweetheart of an animal, she's at diarrhea for the last few days because the dog said her litter eat General South's chicken. I don't even wanna get into it by accident presumably definitely had to be by accident but I'm like how does a dog get General South's? Is this General South's chicken on the floor? Like, did she jump and get it? Like I have had Penny for four years. She has never gotten my food one time.
Speaker 2:There's a lot of questions there.
Speaker 1:It doesn't like. I'm like how did you get General South's chicken? I'm like people shouldn't even eat General South chicken. Like how did you let the dog get it? So General South's chicken is not real Chinese food. It is made up American Chinese food. Okay.
Speaker 1:So I'm staying 100 million, 100 million feet away from any jokes about my dog eating Chinese food. So I'm just sitting there and naturally I turn 36,. I'm sitting there and I'm just like there's nothing else. This is another reason why I'm like I shouldn't be taking a day off. There's nothing else to do but to just sit there and think about my life. Right, just literally just sit there and be like all right, I'm supposed to be relaxing. So what the fuck? What do I do? Like, what do you do when you're relaxing? Like well, here's what a lot of people do go on Instagram, watch TV, work on a creative project. That's my job. So what do I do when I'm relaxing? Like I took the dog to the dog park, but like I do gotta do that anyway. So I felt this those holidays and birthdays there's a couple of other days that make me feel. They make me feel the dissonance and the distance between what my life is and what other people's lives are like, and I bet you guys can both relate to this in your own ways.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, most definitely You're like.
Speaker 1:if there's a thing in me that feels bad when I feel outcast from the tribe, when I feel like not a part of the tribe, it swells on these particular days.
Speaker 2:For sure my birthdays in like two weeks. I have a similar. I wanna be feeling the same way.
Speaker 1:And again, there you go. Well, hopefully a little bit less today for your connection, but like it's like okay, so maybe. And then you know people are calling, people are texting and it's nice. For the most part it's meant to be nice. I don't say I'll peep about it on social media because I don't until late at night, because I don't want my phone to explode with happy birthdays from strangers and I'm just like that's useless. So I, at some point in the middle of the day, I start to feel a little bit better because the day is passing over. Some people think I'm a birthday person because I had three birthday parties for my 30th birthday in two different cities. But like that was my 30th birthday. That's insane.
Speaker 1:That was my 30th birthday and also like I had a different setup then. Like I was on payroll then, like it was when you're on payroll you can take a night and go to the club or go on vacation or whatever, because you know the following Monday or Friday or two weeks later you're gonna get another check and you know exactly how much is gonna be in it. This is that's not what it is. So another thing that's come up I'm nominated for an award at South by Southwest on Monday, monday night, and I'm just this is for me to like put you under the hood. Like there's now a growing community here of people who can hear me right now, of people who want to do some version of whatever it is that I do for, if not for a living, then for a substantial side income. But I want to like put you under the hood of like what that entails. Okay, I'm nominated for an award. South by Southwest best business finance podcast. Direct deposit was nominated. Okay, josh also worked on that show. We're very proud of that show. Lot of smart, good people worked on that show. Very proud of it. It was nominated for award it in Vegas maybe like 14 months ago. I went for that. One dressed up, got a great clip on the red carpet. It's done great for me on Instagram. Didn't win the award. I was nominated for three awards Didn't win any of them was salty, went home.
Speaker 1:This time things are a little bit different for me. Okay, going to South by Southwest not being flown there by Audible, not being flown there by South, by not being flown there as a contractor or an employee of someone else's company. This would be the trip would be sponsored by Chad, okay, which means it's expensive to get to Austin from New York City. We're gonna have fights right now that are about $450 to $550 round trip. That's for direct flights and I'm definitely not doing a layover to go to Austin Hotel. That's gonna be another $200 to $450. Thereabouts, especially during South by Southwest. So now we're in the like $900 range for this trip.
Speaker 1:I could probably wear something I already have. So let's just say I don't even buy. No, fuck it. Let's just do it, because if y'all wanna do this, this is part of it you gotta buy an outfit. That's gonna be another $100 to $300, to $500 possibly. If you are a lady, gotta get my hair done. That's another $100 to $150, right.
Speaker 1:So now we're in the like $1300 to $1500 ballpark to go for one night to go walk on a red carpet, get some good media and hopefully win an award. My dog's gotta be cared for. If you got kids, it's probably three times as much, but that's gonna be another $50 to $100 if I stay for an extra night, and I'm not gonna stay for an extra night because that's gonna be another $450 in the hotel or whatever the fuck. So let's just ballpark it all at like. Let's just call it $1500. $1500 is in the general ballpark of my payroll for one month of this job, right Of this production. That's a month of us coming in this studio, me paying my assistant Destiny, me paying our content person Luigi. Like that's a month, okay, a month of life that I would be spending on one night to go and hopefully win this fucking award.
Speaker 1:$1500,. My budget right now is about $30 to $50 per day of money that I spend to boost ads on Instagram. So for $1500, I can get my shit in front of like 50 to 100,000 people who don't know about me. Okay, I just can't, as I sat with it and sat with it and sat with it like I just can't make it make sense. I cannot in this particular moment of my life and I'm thankful for a birthday because a birthday did make me take stock of this I cannot be vain enough to be like it is worth it for me to go and look pretty and walk across the stage, hopefully For me to trade that off for everything that I could get for those $1500,. Like, the shit is getting made in here, the shit is getting made in Prospect Park, the shit is not getting made at South by Southwest. So not going, but Morgan's going and I hope.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna hopefully yeah, I'm going for work, so I'm getting paid, so that's different. Yeah, no, it's completely different.
Speaker 1:Your hotel room is probably taken care of. You're getting a check, like Morgantron is going, and I'm hopeful that Morgantron will go and represent me at South by I mean at the podcast awards and if she does, I'm gonna try to get Morgan to agree. I'm gonna try to write a small script for Morgan so that if I win the award when she takes the stage Morgan can and then I'm gonna do what you do in this studio literally every week and go and go rogue. Oh, morgan, don't do that.
Speaker 2:Okay, well, we'll figure it out, but anyway, lots of hand gestures, lots of hand gestures, lots of hand gestures, wear a bandana, so Be like hold please.
Speaker 1:This is what's going on. These are the departure I promise you all. A year ago, two years ago, I would have 100% spent that $1,500 to go to South by Southwest, but like the mission is tight right now, the mission is like it is well-framed, I see it, and it's like keep doing what you're doing, like you click. This is the time to click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click.
Speaker 1:With that said, I did get a phenomenal birthday gift, which is my title was approved for my book at Simon Schuster yesterday, which I'm very excited about. I'm still not ready yet exactly to say what the title is, but I will be very, very soon and this is gonna dovetail into our next segment. I was very coy about promotion for the first few years of this journey. You are about to see me be so shameless and hungry about promoting this next book in a way that, honestly, will probably be very inspiring to some of you and some of you all will find it distasteful and you will probably pay more attention than the people who actually like it. So Variety published a piece yesterday.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:That was. It doesn't matter to you all. If you're listening on podcasts, it's whatever day. Variety published a piece that was about people who are nominated for Oscars doing the media PR cycle and promoting themselves to win those Oscars. Right, it's something. That promotion. Let's just. This will just be the promotion segment because I just talked about, I'm about to promote. I am going to promote the fuck out of this book that is coming out.
Speaker 2:Do you want me to read the title?
Speaker 1:Of my book, no of the Just kidding. Yes, please.
Speaker 2:When an actor tries to quote unquote, tries too hard. The pros and cons of awards season self-promotion.
Speaker 1:So all right, this. Let me first just examine the concept. So you're nominated for something, not just Oscars, but this happens in everything. This happens when you're nominated for a promotion, like at work at your company. This happens when you're nominated for school board, like whatever it is. You're nominated for something and there is a process or an expectation for the nominee to do the rounds of schmoozing and charming and ass kissing and trying to get.
Speaker 1:It's basically a sales job, like you're trying to get people to want you to win the thing so that they can put forward whatever it is that they need to get done to make it happen for you. And there's a lot of different ways to sell. There's a lot of different ways to get people to want to do something for you. There's a lot of different ways to get people to take action and, in my opinion, they are all sort of bespoke to the audience. Whoever it is, that you or the powers that be, whoever you're trying to get to make a move, and who you are and what you're working with For some people. In my opinion, the most sustainable and the one that is like the one that you can bet your odds on is, to me, being real, like just being like. If the thing is, hey, I really want to win this award and you got to get in front of the right people to win the award, then get in front of those people and tell them what the award means to you, or figure out what it is that they care about, how they're incentivized. Tell them, if you believe it, how you winning that award is going to achieve their incentive. If they want this award to mean, for instance, they want this award to be the pinnacle of artistic achievement, get in front of them and make clear to them why you are the right representation of the pinnacle of artistic achievement. Whatever this article, this piece is I don't even think it's an article, I think it is an opinion piece, right, more or less. It is taking that phenomenon and putting this specific magnifying glass on the most prestigious night and event of Hollywood.
Speaker 1:Basically, which Morgan tells me do not do another segment bashing the Oscars? Okay, I won't, but it's speaking to the very fine needle to be thread by someone who wants to win, which is that you must be charming and you must show up, but don't be too thirsty, right? It's like this little balancing act, right? Like, make sure you kiss their asses, but only one cheek. And it makes me think of people like Leonardo DiCaprio, as an example, who for a long time wanted to win an Oscar and it was held out, and he was held out, didn't win the Oscar for a long time and he didn't eventually won the Oscar. Right, wouldn't he win the Oscar?
Speaker 1:I think it was for Revenant. For Revenant, yeah, that sounds right, but it almost became like at a certain point. There's almost like this shot in Freud however you pronounce that word, that German word that means enjoying someone else's pain there's almost this like shade in Freud, shot in Freud, whatever it is that takes over the academy, the fans, the audiences, the nation, where it's almost like fun to watch the pain of someone who wants something so bad and cannot get it. It happens in sports too. This is here sports. Look, some of us have enjoyed watching LeBron try to catch Michael Jordan and not have it and it not happen. That happens all the time. It would happen with other athletes, not just LeBron, like we, sometimes, once we have lit a snowball build, where we define somebody by what they don't have, it almost becomes fun to like root for them to stay out of the club. It's mean. It's mean as fuck, not when you do it to LeBron, but it's mean generally speaking.
Speaker 2:Is there any subject that you cannot connect back to?
Speaker 1:No, because his face is in front of me every single day. It's like a giant hot air balloon. How could I look around it?
Speaker 2:It's a real talent of yours.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly, I can't help it. So I can't help it, like, if you put, I'm 36 years old. For the last 20 years I have seen LeBron James name and image probably every single day of my life. So it's gonna be real hard for me to not bring things when we talk about sports my favorite basketball. Anyway, let me get to the point. Let me get to what I really wanna say here. If the game requires, so let me apply it to myself right now.
Speaker 1:I'm not being coy about marketing myself and promoting myself. I am not being cutesy about that. Like when you see my image and when you see my voice, I am being myself and I am being, I think, tasteful for the most part, unless I'm just like being a dork for fun. Even that, I think, is kind of tasteful. But like, I'm not being coy about the volume. I'm not being coy about you're going to see my little thing, my circle, my circle, my Instagram circle, is gonna be at the top of your shit every time you go on Instagram, because that's the volume and I still know I'm not playing at the peak and most effective volume. I'm trying to get there, but, like when you go on the internet until you fucking block me. You're going to see me because I have something to tell you, I have something to say, I have something that I need us to do together here, so you're going to see me. That is why, in my opinion, I am better served for this side of the industry than for the cutesy side with tuxedos. Because over there you gotta do a dance Like you gotta it's twister, you gotta like put your right hand on blue and your left foot on purple and you're all twisted and knots because 10 different people in this academy, or 50 or however many of these motherfuckers are they all want something different from you. They all want you to be someone different to earn their favor. And I just can't relate to someone who can live like that for a prolonged period of time. And truthfully, I don't think you can live like that for a prolonged period of time. I think when you do live like that for a prolonged period of time, you end up running up on the Oscar stage and smacking a nigga. That's what happens when you do like this.
Speaker 1:I haven't read the piece because it was yesterday's my birthday, so fuck it, but I imagine that Will Smith was not named in this piece. Is that right? No, that's because you niggas don't know how to do this. Like me, he should have been, because that Will Smith thing is the exact result of this phenomenon of having to squeeze yourself into a tiny little hole like be thirsty, but not too thirsty. You can't do that. Your back hurts, and then all of a sudden somebody says the wrong thing and you literally go up and commit a violent act on stage the night that you actually win Best Actor. How could they? That is such a miss.
Speaker 1:They didn't talk about Will Smith in the article. I'm sorry, man. Okay, I'm not going to be an asshole, but you guys are bad at this. That is such an obvious slam dunk. If you're going to write this piece I'm sorry, I don't know who wrote it, I don't care, whatever, whatever, but if you're listening, you can, you, you? You know what I'm saying. Like you can't write the piece about doing the dance to win Best Actor and then not mention Will Smith. That is such an air ball. All right, that's, that's an aside. I'm leaving it alone.
Speaker 2:The writer's knob jumped out. Do you feel? Do you guys feel me, though? How could you not?
Speaker 1:No, you guys don't feel me.
Speaker 2:No, no, no. I feel you now that you said it. I didn't think about it when I read it, but I'm. I think that's such a miss.
Speaker 1:It happened like 14 months ago. Okay, whatever, and I connected like. I connected to how I feel I am. I am honored to be, like, nominated for something. Take that away. I'm honored. It's really exciting to me every time a publication or someone who I look up to or like who is a big Titan in industry or whatever it's flattering every single time somebody like that thinks that I'm good. It's flattering every single time someone who's not in that at all, but who's just a consumer of. Every time I get a LinkedIn or a DM that says yo, I read your book and da, da, da, da, da, da. It's very flattering every single time.
Speaker 1:However, those are outputs and they are uncontrollable, like. Those are things that happen in reaction to this process, which is controllable. If I go to South by Southwest, there's nothing I can do to make sure that I actually win that award. If you go to the Oscars, there's nothing. There's no amount of ass you can kiss and I promise you, if you kiss 100 asses and you lose, you will not look at yourself the same way and God forbid you win, because then your life is going to be a sequence of ass kissing for the rest of time, hoping that that will create the output that you. Thinking that those two things were connected, that the ass kissing and the reward are connected, is a dangerous philosophy.
Speaker 1:This is a pretty good segment. I'm reminded of Mark. You always giggle when I give myself a compliment. I gotta give it a fucking. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:My high school basketball coach told a story that I ended up not putting on yearbook and I wish that I had. He talks about my high school basketball coach is the most anal, disciplined person I have ever met in my life, and I used to be Spike Lee's mentee. Okay, this person used to. If you were a minute late, a second late, for practice, we would run the entire practice. If we lost a game my junior year, we would have 5 AM practice the next day in the snow. He was a absolute blowhard. In fact, one time this is the day I was driving the hearse, my old Volvo, to school. I had my two boys in the car because we had 5 AM practice.
Speaker 1:We get there and coach Pickerm is not there yet we're sitting in the parking lot for 30 minutes, all of us so sad and cold, just like what the fuck? He's not even here. I called him to be like hey, coach, are you here? We're just trying to get in the gym. And then he didn't pick up Me and my two friends, justin and Marcus. We spent the next probably like four minutes just being like man. We were probably using all kinds of lingo you can't even use in 2024, like just like what a fucking this that the third. What a bitch ass. Nigga like this that the third. Blah, blah, blah. And then my phone goes beep. Your message has ended. I was like no, are you serious? Yeah, dead ass, dead ass.
Speaker 1:He never brought it up so I don't know but I know that was quite a scene, but he tells his story. He tells his story. I know his story is tragic, but there was honestly nothing worse he could do to us than what he was already doing to us.
Speaker 1:He was, but he also. He changed us. He changed me. I'll speak for myself. He changed me. We went to the same championship that year. He made me realize the process, the inputs. You gotta fucking find a way to enjoy that side of the thing, because you don't know if these shmucks are going to call your fucking name, you don't know if the referees are going to have it go your way. You just don't know. So focus on what you can do. This is a story he told Before we came through and had success, and he had success before my team came.
Speaker 1:But when he started his job first year coaching, he was 30 years old, young, and he was the same process anal-oriented person. Anal-oriented, that is not a good term to say about my coach. That's not what I meant. That's not what I meant. I meant he was anal and process-oriented, not process and anal-oriented. He coached another school called Poolsville. They didn't win a game the entire first season. Go to the playoffs. His best player, star player on a very bad team is late to school. The rules were if you miss a class on a game day, you do not play. But he played him anyway because he wanted to win that playoff game so badly for his own career. They fucking lost. Anyway. It is his most shameful loss. It is his most shameful moment as a coach.
Speaker 1:As he described it was that he broke his process to try to get a treat and he still didn't get the treat. You lose your dignity in the process while trying to get something you don't even get. That is what this little dance, that is what Hollywood demands of you, Like, drop off your dignity so you can get this treat and you still don't get the fucking treat. You don't get the treat by anything else besides being dope and having a budget to spend on marketing. So I'm not going because I need my monies. Okay, I feel like there was a landing point here. No, there's not, but this is the only thing I want to say, Because this was all. Can this all just be one birthday segment? Because I just want to say one last thing, which is the day started with I accidentally shut Penny's tail in the door.
Speaker 1:Penny, and Penny is a big animal. She's tough, Okay, she gets all kinds of shit going on. You never hear this dog cry ever. And she cried and she was like, and I was like oh, I felt it was in there for like literally one instant and she was just. She was scared, she was startled and like you can't pull a dog's tail. She was fine, though. She cried, cried, cried, cried, cried, Goes in the house, Everything's fine. Two seconds later she forgets about it, which is what I love about dogs. But I go have this whole birthday emotional journey.
Speaker 1:Then, second half of the day, I'm feeling better, more, bigger, more, more, more, more verb like more energized again, and thank God this day is almost over. And then, like, go out, like have, like, enjoy my night, have a steak, like all the, all the things you know what I'm saying, Appreciate it. And then I come home at the end of the night this is my birthday Come home at the end of the night. I only live with one other critter and it's Penny. There's no people and I walk in my house and it fucking stinks. I look down the hall and she has shat on the runner in the kitchen like a big dookie, a big old shitty dookie just right there on the thing. And that was like that was literally the only birthday gift I got. I guess, Like literally my parents' gift didn't even come on time, so that was my happy birthday.
Speaker 2:All right anyway, hey everybody, welcome back to Nothing but Anarchy with your host, chad Sanders. I just really wanted to take a minute to shout out Gangsters by Flowers. I think they're a really dope brand Talks about duality of a man and I, as a man, feel like I have a lot of feelings that we should appreciate more. So, yeah, this is the sweatshirt you should go buy from them.
Speaker 1:Listen, man, honestly, I honestly think we're having a good show, but like, yes, it was my birthday and I did not prepare, so and I usually prepare Like we didn't know what to put on the docket this morning we were in the rain, guys, like we were out in the rain, haven't looked at the reel yet, don't tell me how it's doing. I think it's probably doing pretty good, though I did a trick, which is I was like, hey, you wanna wish me a happy birthday? Share this reel to your story instead of wishing me a happy birthday. Some people, of course, wish me a happy birthday Anyway, but it's fine, all right. John Mulaney my sister told me about this like two years ago. I kind of let me try to tell you what I think I remember from John Mulaney's story. John Mulaney was married to somebody.
Speaker 2:Anna Marie Tendler.
Speaker 1:Now okay, john Mulaney is a comedian.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:And Anna Marie Tendler is a.
Speaker 2:She's like a multi media. She does like photography, digital stuff.
Speaker 1:She's a media person and they were married.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:And then he left her.
Speaker 2:Yeah, divorced her.
Speaker 1:Divorced her and married oh and married.
Speaker 2:He's not married, he's just. He had a baby with Olivia Munn.
Speaker 1:Olivia.
Speaker 2:Munn yeah.
Speaker 1:Aaron Gordon. Everyone Rogers is the ex-girlfriend.
Speaker 2:Oh, I know, yeah, okay.
Speaker 1:She's on what's it called Newsroom. I think that's what it's called. Right that show Anyway.
Speaker 2:Is that Aaron Sorkin's show?
Speaker 1:Yeah, All right. Also, morgan, I also wanted to. Morgan said before this show started she was like she was just talking about how many people are getting laid off and like and yes, this is not not this, that like scripted TV and movies and stuff, like it's not a real industry, because it's not a real business, because TV shows don't make money. So, yes, it's not, it's, this is it's. I mean, we've been saying it for 11 months now like this is over, this is over. There's, this is a new, there's a new thing to do creative people. Okay, anyway, tell me about, tell me what to know. Why is this new? What's happening with John Mulaney right now?
Speaker 2:Okay. So for context, I was I am a big John Mulaney fan and then I made interested. Okay, actually, I'm gonna start. So he was married to Anna Marie Tendler for six years and he talked about her a lot in his standup, like his early standup. They never had kids, they didn't want kids. They had a dog, petunia, and he joked a lot about also how he used to be addicted to drugs but he had been clean and sober for X-Mounties years. He went to rehab in December of 2020 because he was back on drugs, not doing well, and then he got out in February 2021 and divorced his or filed for divorce in July of February 2021.
Speaker 2:And there's a little bit of overlap here, I think, because him and Olivia Munn announced that they had started dating in May of 2021. And everybody was kind of like, wow, that's so crazy, you know, leaving your wife after she supported you all these years? X-mt, blah, blah, blah all the X-MT opinions. I want him to say I do not know these people. So there's that.
Speaker 2:And now he had a baby with Olivia Munn and everybody again was like, oof, you spent all these years with your wife and you guys never had kids, said you never wanted to have kids. Now you have kids. Yikes Don't know what that means. And so it was just announced that Anna Marie Tendler is coming out with a memoir called Men have Called Her Crazy, and it is a powerful memoir that reckons with mental health as well as the insidious ways men impact the lives of women, and I am very interested to read. So is my other friend who's a really big John Mulaney fan, because up until this point, yeah, I don't know these people, I don't know all the things, but I still say I'm a fan because I do really like his comedy. And then in August, when this book comes out, I'll be interested in what she has to say.
Speaker 1:Okay, I have a few questions. All right. Number one why is this Gen Z news when these are all people older than me?
Speaker 2:Well, I felt it was Gen Z news because it was something I was interested in. Okay, all right cool.
Speaker 1:All right, that answers that question. Number two what percentage chance would you say? Where would you put the percentage at on you buying this book, paying money and receiving this book?
Speaker 2:I would say hi, because I think we're gonna do a book club.
Speaker 1:Oh, wow, okay. So all right, let's talk about men being bad people, because that sounds like what the book is about, right?
Speaker 2:What's the title again? Yeah, men have called her crazy.
Speaker 1:And what's the subtitle?
Speaker 2:The thing about the book is a powerful memoir that reckons with mental health as well as the insidious ways men impact the lives of women.
Speaker 1:All right, my guess I'm gonna predict that there's actually very little written in this book about John Mulaney, but that this is a catchy way for her to launch her press tour. Like I said about Resa, tessa, risa, tisa, risa, risa and anybody else, like I'm saying to myself right now, if you take the window of opportunity to get your shit off and it includes being a little spicy that's gonna come with like there's no internet police, like nobody can be, like don't say those mean things to her, like that's coming for her, and it's gonna come from the dude Joe Rogan incel side of the internet and like the if black people are even aware of this the Kevin Samuel's sphere, and it's gonna be really mean and it's gonna be really spicy. But get your shit off. I was watching, I watched a quarter of little poor things poor things last night and so, man, I have done such incomplete homework on this entire episode. Like, yeah, but I think I'm doing pretty good. I think this is like a B plus episode and that to me sometimes when I over prepare, I get like a C minus. So, as I can tell, that movie is about women being infantilized by men. Spoiler alert okay, if you haven't seen Poor Things. Now's your chance. I'm gonna give you three seconds to stop listening or move away from your computer. All right, one, two, three, okay.
Speaker 1:In the first quarter of the movie it is revealed that Emma Stone's character is an adult woman who committed suicide and had her brain had a baby's brain implanted into her own brain, and I know that sounds crazy. It's done very artistically, it looks really really cool, it looks beautiful and it sounds beautiful and the writing's good and all that. But it's about men infantilizing women and keeping them, as far as I can tell, keeping them under control. But I think it means to eventually say that the woman's spirit, a woman's spirit, is so potent and so big and so powerful that it cannot be contained in that way, unless a woman chooses for it to be contained that way, something like that. I think that's where it's going. This lady is writing a book. She was certainly embarrassed by how things played out with John Mulaney. I think anybody could relate to that. I think any of us would be embarrassed by something like that.
Speaker 1:And, okay, I'm gonna tell you all as a writer, as an author there is, as somebody who does this twice a week, as somebody who writes op-eds. As somebody who has many platforms and places to get a message across, I'm gonna say, about five or six years ago yeah, maybe even less than that I felt incredibly stung by a couple people in my life who I was close to and I had this like villain origin story replaying in my head. That man when it was my turn, like I was gonna get in front of that camera and I was gonna chew their head off. I was gonna tell people, I was gonna like what's the word? I was gonna reveal who these people really are and I was gonna be so incisive and cutting and like I was gonna really get my revenge. And now, granted, what these people did to me was probably way less painful, way less important, way less impactful than what happened between John Mulaney and Anna Marie Tindler. And I imagine there are other things that men throughout the span of Anna Marie Tindler's life have done to her that are probably all bottled and processed and about to come through hissing in this book.
Speaker 1:And I guess, when I see a title like this, or when I think of a story like this, when I think about my own decisions, about what I, what do I want to publish? A decision that I always have to make is when I publish this. I am giving this new life, like when I publish this, if this thing was on its way to dying. It is, it is revived again, it is going to circle me. It is going to be the conversations that I have in my life. The mirror that I look will be a mirror of this. When I put direct deposit out and I say I go to therapy and I'm embarrassed and my mom's going to feel way, way, way, way, guess what my mom calls me, and we have a conversation Like when you put the shit out there there's stuff that's going to be in my new book that I have not shared with pretty much anybody except my old partner and a couple of maybe. That's it honestly. And I and I'm making a conscious decision that, like when you, it is now in the world and it is in your life, like it is going to surround you. I felt it.
Speaker 1:So I think I don't think in any way that Anna Marie Tindler if her, if what she's going to do here is throw stones at John Mulaney, if she feels stung, or throw stones at other men that have made her feel stung, or even if she plans to like, be thoughtful and methodical and incisive, which this title does not suggest. I really do think that ultimately, the most of the sacrifice will fall on her. Like, I think, as the author, most of the weight of what you're going to feel from that is going to be this is why I do not want to. I want to write serious things. I want to write meaningful, impactful things, but I do not want to write sad shit because then sadness becomes you. I don't want to be an activist because then even though Josh said this bandana was me leading into my activism shit, like I don't want to be that because, like I don't want to become activism, like I don't want to become struggle, because then I will live in a life of struggle.
Speaker 1:So if you are going to write the cutting, precise exploration of the ugliness of men which, by the way, I am interested in I think it is like I think it's probably underrated how familiar a white person told me this about white people once. I feel the same way about guys. It is probably underrated how familiar and how annoyed by the ugliness of men other men are also are so like how exhausted I am by Niggas Like I might. I myself might read this book, you know what I mean, just to kind of like get a little bit, just get a little bit of that action. But boy, is it going to come with a lot of fucking headaches for Ann Marie Tendler, who seems like she has already had quite a few headaches to this point. Wait, I'm curious.
Speaker 2:There's only a couple of minutes left, but with with your book, yes, you delved into some stuff that.
Speaker 1:I sure did.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I feel like you said that, you feel kind of whole, or like you said that.
Speaker 1:Did you notice that I changed my phone number?
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, that's true, yeah.
Speaker 1:Like I had to drop it off. You know what I mean. It became a wait, like it really did. I mean it was like it ruined some days for me, like it ruined some moments for me, like joyful, happy, easy moments at my resting state, like this. I actually do think this comes through clearly about me Am I resting state? I am fucking jolly, like I'm just like, I'm just like bopping around like Kirby, you know what I mean. And then, but like, art brings chaos and honesty can bring chaos. Like telling something as it is the way people, the way I still I'm still getting them. Like the way I became a bounce back for other people's trauma.
Speaker 1:When your book came out, I literally had to opt out. I had to like change my number, you know, stop checking all the DMs and give myself like some space, because I'm not like I'm not a therapist, I can't just like not a receptacle for people's pain. So that's I'm. Your book is another proof point to me for this. My book is about selling out, which I have said, and it is going to, I would say, continue and give new life to and stir up a conversation that is, I think, percolating around selling out and with the microscope on my own life and ways that I have chosen to make trade offs, race, looking at public figures, but hopefully that will also expand into, like other cultures, other people, other professions and ways people sell out there. I think it's going to bring to me a conversation that I will actually enjoy, which is why I feel more excited about the release of it.
Speaker 1:In a different way, I feel a more pure excitement for it. It's going to be. It's going to have some. It's going to have some anarchy in it. It's going to have some chaos. It's going to bring some like some people poking at me and looking at me funny and like all that kind of stuff. This book is very earnest and it's very. This is about like, how can we lift ourselves up? You know what I mean and I like that. But it also brought to me a lot of just brought a lot of the struggle, you know, and I don't always want to talk about the struggle. So that's it, nothing but anarchy. Thank you for being with us. We'll see you all on Morgan. Are we ever going to release the live show audio?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I know Live show audios coming. And Josh, can I ask you a question? Yeah, where can people get that book, this book? Yeah, where can people get black magic?
Speaker 2:Yeah, black leaders learn from the top of the aisle. Yeah, right next to you, this one, right here.
Speaker 1:Yeah, how does this even get here. People can get this book on Amazon. They can also get it on the Simon and choose your website. They can also go to my Instagram. Go to the link tree in my Instagram and there will be several links that you can choose to buy this book.
Speaker 2:Preferably from a small bookstore.
Speaker 1:Preferably from yeah that, but yeah, go get this book. Thank you, josh, that was a great question. Yeah, I mean, we're shamelessly plugging here, so good job. No, that's awesome. Okay, bye, bye.
