Episode 1 - Is that a gun in your pocket?

In this initial installment, I read an email I sent to a podcast back in 2021 titled "My Uncle, the Almost Man-slaughterer" and discuss my vision for this space!

Music sourced through FMA (free music archive)
Song: By the Coast by Antony Raijekov (2004)
Source: https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Antony_Raijekov/
License: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/4.0/

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

All right. We are going to try this again. This is the reading of my uncle, the almost a man slaughterer. This is an email that I sent in to my favorite murderer a few years ago. And they are very popular and busy, so I imagine they probably have not read my email. So but this is what led me to the idea for this podcast. And we'll get to that at the end of the email or my story here. But basically, uh yeah, tuck in. We're gonna get down to it. So I am a Bay Area native, born and raised, grew up primarily in South Bay, San Jose area. And for those of you not familiar with the Bay Area, which I know that there are probably not very many folks out there because Silicon Valley, but before Silicon Valley, San Jose was a farming community. Almond and plum orchards, and then you know, boom, boom, we got Silicon Valley. So my grandma or my grandparents, my mom's parents owned a farmhouse, right? Like on the side of the 101 freeway in San Jose. So I grew up next to Freeway Sound. I kind of like it, whatever. We could see her, the tree at her house from the freeway. So we'd be like, there's grandma's house when we go visit. And there was a massive Chuck E. Cheese across the street from us. That was kind of our landmark. And also sidebar was my first job ever, and was also the worst job. First and worst. Anyhow, so back to the story. My mom grew up in a pretty terrible household and was treated pretty poorly from a young age by most of her family, particularly grandma, some of her brothers, and most of her partners. Uh so you can imagine this family puts the fun in dysfunctional. Um, so on to the story. And I am changing names here because some of these folks are still around and not sure if they'll hear this, but I think people will be able to figure out who's who here. And if you're one of these folks, um, sorry. Um, so I always knew my Uncle Dan had shot an uncle, my Uncle Bob in self-defense, but I didn't know the whole story until I got older. And my brother shared the details. Uncle Bob was an alcoholic and very violent and constantly picked on Dan since he was the youngest. Uncle Dan was a hothead. He drank and did drugs. He was the youngest of seven siblings and was, you know, a little short, you know. And, you know, we know how some guys can be about height and whatever size, just in general. Um, so he, you know, his anger kind of led to, you know, overcompensating for something and combined that with an unchecked temper. He was a great fun at parties. Total sarcasm there. So, but and a side note here, and this will come up later, is Bob shot Dan in the eye with a BB gun, claiming he didn't know the gun was loaded. Yay, Bob.

unknown 3:01

Fucking liar.

SPEAKER_00 3:02

Anyway, so here's what happened the day Uncle Bob and Dan shot each other, and one was definitely not charged with manslaughter. So picture it. Eastside San Jose, just on the other side of 101. Literally, we could throw shit over the freeway wall. I did not. I can't say the same for my cousins who were undiagnosed sociopaths. However, back to San Jose. It's brown everywhere. The hills, the house, the carpet, and the furniture. Throw a splash of orange tile and wood paneling, and we're there. It was probably hot, and there are foxtails and weeds everywhere. So Bob comes to grandma's house where everyone was hanging out, including my mom and baby me. So this was probably like 78, no, 79, 80, no later than 81. And he was mad at my mom for no reason. Again, my mom was kind of the scapegoat. Um, and he was a violent drunk. And, you know, my uncle Dan steps in and was like, dude, let's take this outside. She's got a baby. Not sure where guns came from, but you know, San Jose was country as fuck in the 1980s. So guns came out. Bob shot at Dan, and Dan shot back in self-defense, killing Bob. Dan didn't serve time, but I can't imagine how fucked up one becomes after killing a sibling. Probably why he turned to drugs and alcohol in the first place. I used to be super judgmental of my mom's family, but we all had pretty fucked up upbringings. So, you know, it's not a matter of if but when things go awry. So I was lucky enough to get out of that upbringing relatively unscathed, you know, not without my own scars and a killer sense of humor. Uncle Dan's in prison now. Unrelated charges, but he's a third striker, so he's there for life. And it's not far from where I live. I live in the Bay Area still. We weren't very close, and I was always pretty scared of him. I hope he's gaining something from his time in prison. Um, and I do have other stories with Uncle Dan um in the future. But he, you know, it's not an excuse for his behavior, but he kind of never really had a chance with the family that he grew up in without getting the support that he needed. So anyway, that is my story. Brings me to my um what I want to do for my podcast. And, you know, I this is just like one story of, you know, after years and years of telling about crazy things that have happened in my family. For example, Uncle Dan, he beat up my mom with a wood chair on my 70th birthday. And I was next to her when it happened. And then my cousin Donnie set his grandma's my grandma's bed on fire. I mean, I tell the stories with humor, and humor is probably, at least for myself, the best way to cope with trauma or negativity. Because if you laugh at it, I feel like it takes the power away. So what I would like to do here is invite people here to come and talk about their families and some crazy stories that happened because we shouldn't not be talking about these things because we all know what happens when we bury trauma. It comes out at some point, you know. And I feel like taking that shame away with a little humor or a lot of humor really will allow for people to collectively heal from the things that we've experienced in our lives. So the title, of course, would be puts the fun in dysfunctional. It's been my idea for like five, six years now. I think it's it'll be fun. I think it'll be very freeing and liberating for so many people. And yeah. So I hope to have you all hang out here with me. And if you want to participate, let me know.