Rachel Awes - Are you listening to yourself?

     Life can be stressful as we deal with the ups and downs of our daily activities. We can be so focused on what we do that we don’t necessarily take the time to concentrate on how we feel about ourselves. We look at others around us and believe we have to act like them to be happy or more productive or more whatever. But the truth may lie in just allowing ourselves the permission to be ourselves. When we truly know who we are, we can lower our stress and project the love, kindness and care we want to receive from those around us. 

     But where do we start? My guest, psychologist and self-proclaimed art playgroundist Rachel Awes, says the first step lies in play. Yes, play, even to the point of engaging with same toys and games we used as children. Rachel goes on to tell us:

·      What it means to be an art playgroundist

·      How play colors the pages of our lives

·      What play has to do with imagination

·      How rediscovering your playful side can help you get unstuck

·      How dreamwork figures into her work

·      Caring for your inner child

·      How play leads to self-love

·      Why dressing in colorful clothes makes her happy – and why she doesn’t recommend it for you

·      What we can learn from nature

    Is it really as simple as “eat, play, love”? Find out in this joyful episode of Dream Power Radio.

     Rachel Awes works as a psychologist, art playgroundist, and author, who loves listening to the beauty in people and animals and all living colors.  Her 4 published gift/self-help books are infused with loads of her colorful drawings, all designed to affirm the human heart. Her newest illustrated personal growth/gift book is called The Relationship Book: A Soulful, Transformational, and Artistic Inventory of Your Connective Life. Her most tender and mighty hope is to hold up a mirror for many, reflecting a hearty truth of your boundless worth. You can see more from Rachel at her website at http://rachelawes.com and her books and art prints at http://rachelawes.etsy.com. You can find Rachel at her monthly YouTube channel called Insides Matter at https://www.youtube.com/@RachelAwes and also find her at https://www.facebook.com/rachel.awes/, http://instagram.com/rachelawes/, and recent television segment at https://kstp.com/tcl/today-on-twin-cities-live/a-look-at-different-relationships/.

Transcript

Rachel Awes

Hello, hello, hello and welcome to Dream Power Radio. I'm your host, certified dream life coach, Debbie Specter. Weissman. This is a place where we talk about dreams, both daytime and nighttime dreams. Now you can use them to make the internal shift to a life you love and rediscover the truth of who you really are, and tore that in.

Who are you? When you look at yourself in the mirror, who do you see Someone filled with kindness, compassion and self-love, or someone filled with worry, anxiety, and negativity. Or perhaps you're a combination of both at times prone to giving of yourself and other times self-critical and succumbing to your fears.

That's the case. Perhaps you're wondering how you can steer to the loving and playful side of yourself more of the time. Well, that's the goal of my guest today. Psychologists and self-described art playground, Rachel Oz. During her decades long work with patients. Rachel's come to realize that your worth is bright and boundless, and that a world needs the present and authentic you.

Rachel's also the author of several books, including her latest, the Relationship Book, a Soulful, transformational, and Artistic Inventory of Your Connective Self. Rachel's here to tell us how you can reclaim your positive sense of self and bask in the joyful playground of life. Welcome to Dream Power Radio, Rachel.

Thank you. I'm so glad to be here. Debbie. Oh, I'm so glad to be talking to you about this because it's such an important subject. Oh, Rachel, when I first spoke with you and then when I checked out your website, what struck me most was that you reminded me of Mr. Rogers and all that positivity he gave to children who watched him because he was all about love, kindness, and care.

That's what I see in you too. , is that an accurate assessment? Oh, well I am incredibly honored and that is, he'd certainly, I would count him as a role model and, , he certainly aligns with my heart and values and melts my heart. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Love Mr. Rogers. Love the latest film about him. Like what is not to love about being loved just as we are.

Exactly. And that's what you're about. That's what I said. Mm-hmm. The other thing I noticed about you and,  for those listening on the podcast, they can't see it, but you're a very colorful person. Mm-hmm. I mean, literally in the way you dress. So why is color so important to you and should it be important to everyone else?

Yeah. Well, why is color so important to me? I just know that it has been, since I've just been in this world, I,  have memory of, , in sixth grade covering my walls piece of paper after a piece of paper so that it looked like. Wallpaper in my bedroom of,  all these drawings I would do with different variations of a rainbow.

 So it's just this rainbow looking whole bedroom, and that is just not really stopped. That, it just, I think that it. It does something for me, almost medicinal, like it makes me feel more alive. It is something of a natural expression, just like words. It comes with words, and it brings me joy. So I just figure whatever makes me feel more vibrant, alive, and joyful.

is a good path to keep wearing on my body with clothing, and surrounding myself with, but nature does it. Why shouldn't I? That's my thought. Yeah.  For you dressing colorfully because you, you love that color is a direct reflection of how you feel about yourself. So did you direct your clients to make their clothing selections based on how they feel?

I do not direct them about how to dress. However, it is a comment I get. Somewhat frequently from my clients observing me and taking into account, you know, what I'm wearing. And I remember one client saying to me, I look forward to each session to see what you'll be wearing. And  a few have said over time that 

how I dress is actually part of the therapy for them because it both tears them up, but is also a picture for them , of sort of permission to be ourselves. And it is so important to have that permission because many people don't do they? No, they don't. I mean, and. I think that it can be tied to so many different sorts of vulnerable things, whether it is, growing up they learned that it wasn't emotionally safe to be so visible or to get attention.

and so better to camouflage or not stand out. And I honor those coping mechanisms. And sometimes people bring those coping mechanisms beyond where they're needed, keep using them, and. And at that point, they've kind of shut themselves off from that playful, joyful part of themselves. Right, right.

There's cost to it. Yeah. And I should say for the record that I also know of plenty of people Who don't dress really colorfully because it doesn't really feel comfortable or fully like them. And  whether they dress then in neutrals or , but here's the key. To me, it doesn't matter to me if it's bright colors or neutrals or whatever it is.

I think the key is if it feels comfortable on your body. And if it truly, , feels like it's aligned with your joy, like go ahead and wear all black or gray or whatever. If it's aligned with feeling alive and feeling like this is me today, great. Well, and, and that goes to just the feeling of

needing to be in touch with yourself and your fields. If you're right,  if black, that's your favorite color, why not wear Except go crazy. Yes, yes, yes. Black Delicious. Yes. You know,  but I think you bring up a really central point, Debbie, which is, it's about the key, the sort of deeper point here is are you listening to yourself and are you giving to yourself accordingly?

That's a very, very, very important point. Which brings me to, something that I wanted to talk about, which is that title you have of yourself as an art playground. Because it's a term I'd never heard before. And so tell me what it means, and you know what that has to do with play and our own wellbeing.

Yeah, well, you know, it is a term I made up. I love words and it's fun to make them up every now and then, because not all the existing words can always express just what we want them to. So art playground is, for me, is a, a term that I came up with a number of years ago, and what it means is that when I make art, it feels like I am a child again in the best sense of the word.

And I'm on the playground and I have the wind in my hair and I'm running with my friends, or I'm on the swings and I feel free. And that's, that's your way of expressing it?  Yeah. , is it all about play? , or is play have different meanings for different people?

I want to say yes and yes. I think that, uh, for me, uh, Play is something I have really, um, reconnected with and own as an adult, that it's not something only reserved for children. And by the way, play is also I think, really. Sort of tied together with the concept of imagination. And I think that is such a gift we're all given, and imagination makes our world so much wider, deeper, greater.

Um, the possibilities begin to burst open. And so I just think that responsibility is so important as well. For some reason that comes to me to mention. So it's not outside of being responsible, but I just think that it's almost like what I'm seeing back to colors is that play colors in the pages of our lives.

Mm-hmm. It makes it fuller. It adds the feeling, it adds the freedom,  it includes the imagination, which is a tremendous part of our brain and our processing, to help us with problem solving and connecting relationships to one another, to connecting to ourselves. There's so much to it, but the other thing that I want to say briefly about play when you said is play, the concept play different to different people.

And absolutely. I mean, really almost every word is different to different people. We have different experiences and associations with different things.  And so it would be an interesting thing to randomly clock 20 people out of a Starbucks coffee house and say, what does play mean to you? To each one and to hear the different answers.

Yeah. Yeah, but I think the point though is that everybody should seek to find what play means for them because mm-hmm. Play whether it's, going back to a childhood game or just drawing or whatever it is, that is really the important thing is to keep that in your life because it does bring out.

The imagination also raises your energy level, which also makes you feel better. There's so many positive things about it. Hmm. Yeah. And just maybe check in with yourself if you feel, does, does the concept repel me and do I feel drawn to it? Do I feel confused by it? And just being, just where you are with it may be informing.

To you about what, just even noticing what it stirs could be valuable. And one of the components that I think represents play for you  is art. You're a very colorful person and you have such beautiful art in your books and thank you everything. So, do you encourage people to take up a paintbrush or is it just really going to get back to that individual?

Meaning of play? Yeah, I think mostly it is individual. I try to go with people's true nature and so if someone tends to be,  more of a word person and like the sort of writing, then that's the place I will encourage them to go. I mean, I just tend to go with how someone is naturally built.

I will say though, that if it feels like someone is a little bit stuck in whatever the presenting concern from them is that I will tend to sometimes encourage. More right brain kinds of  activity to try to access the stuck places. They're, they're not able to get at just with logic. And so sometimes that can be, if it seems suitable for them, some kind of artistic,  Exploration of whatever the issue or pain is at hand, or maybe it's dreamwork to try to get to the more intuitive and imaginative parts of their brain.

And sometimes it's,  hypnosis if people are open to it, which I do sometimes in my psychology practice, which also helps to access more of the unconscious or that dream space. Well, we're going to get more into this, but we have to take a short break now. We are speaking about play and the joyfulness of life with Oz, and we'll be right back.

Yes. Welcome back to Dream Power Radio. I'm your host, Debbie Spector Weisman, and we're speaking with Rachel Oz about play and Self. Well, right before the break, Rachel,  you touched upon a word that is very dear to my heart, which is Dreams and dreamwork. Mm-hmm. And how do you use dreamwork in helping your clients find themselves?

Mm-hmm. Well, Yeah, absolutely. I'm so glad it's dear to your heart and to mine too. , it's such a tremendous side of us that we spend so many hours in and  maybe oftentimes don't take the time to lean into, the discipline of remembering as soon as we wake up, what, what, what did I dream?

And, and then, Taking the time to ponder how that, what is the gift, the gift of that dream.  What is the awareness that that brings to me that could be helpful to me? So what I, you know, a lot of times people I'm working with will naturally bring up, gosh, I had this dream, this. You know, last night or this week, or that seems so  pronounced to me, can we talk about it?

So sometimes it just goes into our regular old conversation. And then sometimes people,  agree to doing actually a little more formal dream work with me and,  where I will invite them, for example,  to tell me the dream and I will take notes. So to please tell it to me slowly. as if it's happening right now.

So I am in, you know, so I'm pretending I'm a client. I am in the forest and the ground sounds incredibly loud. As I'm walking with every step onto it, I can hear and then, you know, so that it's, they're telling it to me in, in the, as if they're in the current dream. And then we will, I just have a lot of questions to just facilitate them, being in a space that gets them more connected to the dream and to a sense of meaning and to what they're hearing.

So it's just a lot of questions that can facilitate that. Yeah. And do you do that? It's fun. It's so fun to meet. Oh it is. And when you're doing that, are you doing that so that your, client has that aha moment themselves and realize, oh, that's what I hope. Yes. That's the space. Hopefully we are together,  co-creating, to make more possible.

Yes. Yeah, that always is. And, and do you, do you encourage them to take action on the dream then?  Yes. Sometimes yes. So sometimes it will be, Action in their imagination. Like if you were to go back in and change anything in the dream,  what might that be? So that's a form of action with more imagination.

Or  is there anything this is indicating to you in your waking life that you feel moved in any way to respond to? so I'm always respectful of their sense of,  timing and never want to push that like, Go do this,  but, but more explore with them,  what organically arises for them.

Do they feel moved in any way,  to do something? Yeah. Because it always is up to the dreamer herself. Yes. Yes. Make those decisions. Yes. Yeah. But it's fascinating. Yeah. We're just here to guide them, but it's, it's ultimately their decision. Yes. I want to get back to that, that subject of play, because I see that you see it as a way of taking care of our inner child, so.

Mm-hmm. Talk to me a little bit about your definition of the inner child and, and what are some of the other ways that we can take care of it? Yeah. , it's, Interesting. I'm thinking that my birthday was just Monday, and I put out a post beginning, a little manifesto. I called it a woman

reflection,  just a sound bite about me in my life and what matters to me and what moves me. And I begin it by saying something like, I am. I don't remember the exact ages I plucked out, but I am two and eight and nine and 16 and 57. You know, like I'm, I am all these ages, they,  they're still all in me.

And so when I think about caring for my inner child, she's still with me. You know, it's not, while I'm no longer that age, No, I'm, I'm, I'm now all the ages and the current number. And so that, what does that imply? That implies that there are all these different developmental ways to still care for myself certainly, I don't want to sit on the floor. Actually, my back would not allow it and  play with dolls all morning, which that may not be what the thing would be for someone else, but that would make sense for me.  But I get bored now, so while that, younger part is still with me. There's, there's a change about that, , I love, for example, jelly Cat is a brand Jelly cat, stuffed animals.

I think they're darling and I have a handful of them currently in my bedroom. And when I'm sick or I'm feeling like I need just way extra tender loving care, I'll put a couple in the bed with me and just have them near me. Like, I just think it's the sweetest thing, for example.  A friend of mine, for example, well, couple people I know,  adults, In the last couple years, got roller skates.

They used to do it when they were young, and they have embarked on it again. And they look like little kids when they're on the roller skates. Like the joy, the pure joy. And so I just, I think, and also recognizing when , there's an extra tender part of myself that comes forward, you know, like, oh, this part feels young.

That some situation could bring up, and it's like even just stopping to put my hand over my heart and just acknowledge the little girl. Oh, I see you. I feel you. Like with love sort of. I'm going to hearken back. What to what you said, Debbie, in the beginning of our conversation about Mr. Rogers, like also letting her the five-year-old or the little girl know I love you just the way you are.

I can feel what feelings just came forward. I'm with you. Oh, isn't that perfect? Isn't that just wonderful that you're feeling just as you are? , so. I think it can also be that sort of paired back and not, you know, complicated operating instructions. So really tending to our inner child, however we do it, is, is a way of really fostering self-love.

Yes, yes. For your whole self. Yes, yes. Yeah. And then once, once you do feel that self-love, then you're able to, Better or in a freer way, extend that love to other people. Would you say very true? Yes. I'm very, very with you there. Yes, for sure. And that's what it's all about. And singing too is another way to, you know, get in touch with yourself.

Yes. Maybe there's something about just sort of the freedom of expression because as kids we also were just, I mean, hopefully, Had a great greater freedom without all the defenses from over the years with pain or difficulty. Didn't have many defenses, so I think there was much more, hey, I'll wear a striped sock on my one foot, and the other one will have, dragons or castles on it or whatever.

And I, this is what I want to play with and not look for permission or is anyone else doing it? Or I'll say these things, or I want to do this, I don't want to do that. And not, not overthink it, you know? So maybe part of it of loving the inner child is like also the wisdom of an inner child of authenticity.

Exactly. I mean, those were the days before the shoulds and the shouldn't. That's right. That's exactly right. So there, there were no, there were no limitations, and we didn't feel the limitations back then. Yeah. And so maybe that ties together some, a number of the things we've been talking about today.

Maybe that's also part of what really play is, is breaking free as you're able, even if in small, gentle ways, , to express. What it is that truly tastes good to you? What really, sounds like fun to you or peaceful to you, or  that maybe part of what play is just more about true expression.

So important. I want to get back to something that you touched on at the beginning, which was about the role of nature and, how do you feel about just the idea of going outside or looking and appreciating nature itself. Yes. Yeah.  I think my reference initially was about, hey, nature dresses up in color.

You know, kind of one of the ultimate role models for us, and permission givers. The tree would say, go ahead today with orange, another day. Go ahead with red or green or yellow,  or brown.  I think that , and I'll, of course so many people speak of this, but I think nature is that amazing place where not only we can listen to what's being shown to us, but where we can maybe more clearly hear ourselves.

You know, it's just that quieter space where we can be inspired by the quiet, by the beauty. By the life that's in there, , by the support and safety that's in there. Sometimes danger, right? could be a bear or, you know, but,  and I look out my window even now and see the wind go going through the tree,  and it causes me pause.

It's, it's almost a distraction. It calls me. Right, right. Like there's something so real there in the tree and in me. Oh, there is me, I'm, I'm very fortunate. I live out in country. Oh. And so,  I get to see, the Four Seasons of Nature go by and, oh, of course the animals out there and everything, .

But when you're, when you're just speaking, it brought to mind thunderstorms. Oh, I love thunderstorms. And since I've been a kid, I used to sit on my porch with my father watching thunderstorms go by and. They're powerful and they can be dangerous, but there's also this, this beauty in them. Yes.

Very often they may be followed by a rainbow Yes. As you have behind you. Right. You know, the good Yes. The good and the bad, all of that. Yes. This is welcome to our whole life. Right. Exactly. Well, Rachel, , I said at the beginning that you've written a number of books and,  your newest one is called the Relationship book.

So tell me a little bit about it and, and what we can get from it. Sure. So the relationship book,  it is in full color. And it is about, it goes through different chapters,  to reflect on for ourselves.  That's like relationship with myself, relationship with animals, relationship with food, with other people, with community, with clothing, et cetera.

So  there's nine chapters for different relationships and the page spreads with all of the chapters. Have my colorful illustrations on them. I wanted to be sure adults still got illustrations and bring it back to the play. It does and  also includes each page spread. An anonymous client therapy client quote that.

Was,  really the  meaningful to hear that I wanted to share with the reader, and I got their permission to, to do this, to share. And then my written reflection, that's kind of prose like, um, And so all of it's really meant to inspire the reader to be super fun for the reader to think about and to be delighted by the illustrations, and to just give them a space, sort of like nature does, to stop and listen to themselves and to the best part of themselves, and to feel almost like a friend has an arm around them, listening to them ponder their different relationships, and again, including with themselves.

 So yeah, that's the format of the book. Oh, that. It's such a lovely idea and a lovely thought. Well, Rachel, how can people find out more about you, your work, and your books? Great, so they can just, they can look at my website, which is racheloz.com, and my last name is spelled like the beginning of Awesome.

So it's Rachel, a w e s. Dot com and once you get there, you can find me anywhere from my webpage. You can click on the upper banner says Shop, which leads to my Etsy shop with my books and art prints,  to, you know, you can find me on all the social medias, you know, it just, et cetera. It's, it's a good hub to be able to branch out from there.

Wonderful. Well, Rachel, thank you so much for being on Dream Power Radio today. Thanks for having me, Debbie. Oh, well, we've been speaking with psychologist, author, and art playground is Rachel Oz. Hope we've enjoyed today's program. If so, please hit that subscribe button so you don't miss out on any future episodes.

Until next time, this is Debbie Specter Weisman saying sweet dreams everybody,