Announcer (00:00:04) - This is Dream Power Radio, the place where your dreams turn into reality. Here is your host, Debbie Spector Weisman.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:00:13) - Hello, hello, hello and welcome to Dream Power Radio. This is a place where we talk about dreams, both daytime and nighttime dreams. Now you can make the internal shift to a life you love. And rediscover the truth of who you really are. I want to talk today about addictions, because if there's something that will keep you from living your dream life, that's certainly right up there at the top of the list. Sometimes, though, addictions are good, like when you're committed to working out or you crave the idea of doing meditations every morning. Anything that puts your mindset on doing something positive is something to strive for. And I guess you could call that being addicted to positivity. But we all know about the other side of addictions the high prices paid when you take a walk to the dark side. Too many of us have had our lives ruined by things like addictions to drugs or to alcohol.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:01:10) - Some people are even so full of self-loathing that they're addicted to anything that will justify that feeling. Doing self-abusive things like overeating or cutting, or even going to the point of seeking out others to abuse them, either physically or mentally. My guest today, Personal Development Coach Nick Drivas is an expert on addiction. His addiction was one that I believe is more common to men than to women. He was addicted to porn, but now he helps people recover from all types of addictions. We're going to talk with him now about the effects addiction had on him, how he overcame it, and his treatment program. Welcome to Dream Power Radio, Nick.
Nick Drivas (00:01:54) - Thank you. Debbie I'm glad to be here.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:01:57) - Nick. Watching porn is something I imagine you did by yourself. And in one sense, you weren't harming anyone else doing it. So how did you it become something that ended up causing pain in your life?
Nick Drivas (00:02:10) - Well, it started literally when I was like 12 years old. I had a lot of time to myself, like my parents would go off to work even when I came home from school. So that's really when it started. I didn't have the chance to be involved in any sort of like activities outside of school and just growing up. So I had a lot of downtime, and that's where I started to develop my porn addiction. I was actually on YouTube just scrolling, and it a stripper video came up. And then ever since then it was downhill. For ten plus years, I was addicted, and then it developed into just more nasty pornography. As I got older and it diminished my confidence, it diminished everything about myself. I had very low self-esteem throughout high school, even into my early 20s. I'm now 23 and now the addiction is completely solidified. Like, don't touch that. It's been over a year now, so around like 15 months even. And it's just through the process and program that I do now and teach to others. But if I didn't go through all that, I would still be attached to that voice and still be. I don't even know if I would be here, to be honest.
Nick Drivas (00:03:33) - I don't know because there were even thoughts of suicide. I did attempt just trying to literally. It's hard to talk about sometimes, but literally like drowning myself in a bath in the bathtub. So it really it really messed me up throughout my high school and my early 20s as well. But I'm here today and I'm here on this podcast. So yeah.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:03:56) - We are so happy about that. Nick, were you watching porn every day?
Nick Drivas (00:04:01) - Yeah. So I was watching it literally 2 to 3 times a day. It was that bad.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:04:06) - So how did that just the act of watching it ruin your self-confidence and your self-esteem?
Nick Drivas (00:04:15) - Especially when it came to women just talking to women, being around women, trying to go up to a girl and try to get her phone number, anything of that sort, it really messes with my demeanor because they would always reject me and then I would think I'm a failure. I think I'm worthless, I think I can't do anything, and I would just go and run to porn right after.
Nick Drivas (00:04:38) - Like I would go home and then just masturbate to ease myself of what just happened. So I was only building more of a disgusting habit the more that I did that. And when I got hit with any sort of obstacle in my life, if it was for my business, if it was for some sort of schoolwork out in high school, back in high school, that's what I would do. I would go and run to the porn to help me cope with what I was going through. I use it as a scapegoat.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:05:11) - That was your mechanism for self-soothing?
Nick Drivas (00:05:14) - Yes, correct.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:05:15) - Very much. Well, I could see how over time, that could really just diminish everything that you feel about yourself and get you to that point where you said you were actually suicidal.
Nick Drivas (00:05:27) - Yeah, very. And I kept it to myself, very suicidal. And not many people knew about it until I started coming on to podcasts like this. And it got really bad and just very negative thoughts and a lot of negative self-talk.
Nick Drivas (00:05:42) - And that's only because of devices that I was doing now that I was able to flip everything. Like life is all about perspective. So my perspective changed drastically. So now it's like, I don't even need that. Like I just see life in a whole different lens. It's beautiful. Now. Before when I was attached to the porn, I wouldn't even see like how the grass is so green or the sky is so blue. Now I'm appreciative. I have so much gratitude. So it's like me being off porn for like a year straight. It's just like it changes everything and it's such a beautiful thing now. But back then it was it was very, just a lot of just negativity just in my own head.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:06:26) - So what was the tipping point? What was it that finally got you to say, I can't do this anymore. I've got to make a change.
Nick Drivas (00:06:33) - So there's actually two points that kind of happened, but like it came back after that first one. And then I decided at a certain date, which was July 27th, 2022, whereas like, I am never going to do this ever again because I did a 200 plus day streak before that where I was on purpose, I started focusing on myself.
Nick Drivas (00:06:58) - This was more in my early 20s, so this was around like when Covid started. So I was like, okay, I'm gonna use this opportunity to get in shape, do what I actually want to do. So I started posting on TikTok. I started making workouts, but I was like super skinny and I'm like 200 days in. I'm like, yo, this isn't working. I don't know what to do. And then I go back to the porn. So then for a year plus I'm trying to run my business, my fitness coaching business. Nothing's working, no sales know anything is coming in. And I'm like, okay, let's just do what I've been doing for ten plus years. Going back to the porn. And that's exactly what I did. So I already had a little bit just from, posting on TikTok and Whatnot. So I knew what it was about, like not masturbating for 200 plus days, not watching porn, but then I just went hardcore back on it.
Nick Drivas (00:07:53) - So it goes even harder for like a year straight. And then now it's July 27th, 2022. This is where I'm just like, I can't do this ever again. This is destroying my life. It's destroyed my whole life up to this very point for being on this earth, for 22 years. And I'm just like, I can't. So I hire a personal development coach. He gets me on his elite level program, and he shows me to level up my business, to level up my physique, to level up all aspects, everything across the board, get my mindset right because I had that calling and it was calling me because I just finished round two of like just doing this for the day and I'm like, I need to change. I see all over the toilet seat, I feel disgusted with myself and I'm just like, I need a change. So I'm right out the literally on my phone, like in my notes section of what I'm going to say to this guy, send it to him.
Nick Drivas (00:08:50) - And then instantly he's like, yeah, let's do it. And then I just sent the money, boom, get it, get in. And then just started right out the gate. And I haven't looked back since. Ever since that moment on July 27th. And everything has changed through the process that I was able to learn from him. Now I teach it to others, and I still apply to this day. Like he taught me early morning wake up, journaling, reading all this thing, all these things. I'm up at four now. Before my sleep schedule was all over the place, it was 11:00 one day to 7:00, another 12:00. And it was because of the habits, the devices that I was attached to. So now there's a strict and rigid structure with everything that I do and aligning with my 10.0.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:09:42) - So I think there's another point that you touched on briefly, and I want to emphasize that, which is it's a journey. It's not like you've stopped and you're never going to do it again.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:09:53) - You have ways to keep yourself from ever going back. And that's by practicing the things that you've learned. So what are some of the mindset changes that you had, that you made about yourself that enabled you to have that ability to stop this addiction?
Nick Drivas (00:10:12) - The first thing I would say is getting around more individuals that you admire to be like. So the coach that I went to, I went to him because I admired the success that he had. I knew that he was killing it and he had something that I didn't have, so I lacked it, and I needed that level up, basically. That's why I got around him. Then my mindset started to change and then he taught me to build just solidified a habit, a strong foundation with everything that I do. Me waking up so early, it built discipline in myself like everybody thinks, oh, it's motivation is what's going to like, get you to that next step to keep, you know, it's discipline when you don't want to get out of the bed at 4 or 5:00 in the morning, like, are you sleeping in or you pushing yourself? He's always teaching me just these mindset gems.
Nick Drivas (00:11:08) - That's the other thing too, is like all these gems that I found, like become the source of what you seek. So when I think of that little gem, I think, okay, would the best me be masturbating 2 or 3 times a day? And then I'm like, no, so let me not do that. I just try to focus on who I desire to become, and then I align with that character. And then if I am ever out of alignment, I snap back in really quick. To that 10.0 character. That's like a major gem.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:11:43) - You also said that you had started a physical conditioning business. So you are someone who is in physical shape, and you do a lot of physical activity. Is that also a key to your recovery, or would you say it's 100% the mindset changes?
Nick Drivas (00:12:00) - Well, it's the mindset. And then like how you said, it's also the fitness and the nutrition aspect as well. That's the other thing that that coach taught me that now I teach the others as well.
Nick Drivas (00:12:11) - And then I still apply obviously to this day. You can go on my Instagram to like chopped, like, you know, I'm shredded. So yeah, definitely the nutrition aspect is a big part. The foods that you eat. Recently I've just been going super clean to make sure my mindset is super tapped in and then my head stays clear. So definitely changing diet is a big thing because we are what we consume. So if we're eating Pop-Tarts and pizza all day, we're going to feel that and not feel our best. But if we have some chicken, some rice and some green beans, let's just say, for instance, like you're going to feel a lot better. Your energy is going to feel way better. You're going to sustain just a healthier lifestyle overall. And naturally, you're just going to feel more confident because you ate something that is benefiting you compared to the Pop Tarts and the pizza. So nutrition and then just fitness, like getting into the gym, doing some sort of workout.
Nick Drivas (00:13:11) - If at any point I have a negative thought, I literally hit the floor and do push-ups or burpees, any sort of activity, some workout activity that allows me to get up and flow state. Then everything goes out the chamber. So I'm not worried about what's going to happen in six months. If I'm thinking of the future, I'm just focused on that present moment, me putting that working into that floor. And then that's what raises my vibration back up. And then I can go back into my workday and focus on that very moment. I'm not focused on what's to come, or if I have a negative thought coming through, I can get rid of that negative thought with just action. That's a lot of people they lack is that they're just thinking and they're choosing to be in that state. They're choosing to be negative. You can change that state instantly. The simplest thing once again just hit the floor. That's why I tell all my elite guys, like, just hit the floor and everything will change.
Nick Drivas (00:14:12) - You're going to feel so much better, and then you're going to be focused and locked in on what you desire to do in that moment. And then you're not in that moment of like, oh yeah, I feel like shit today. No, you're going to feel way better after you just cranked out like 20 pushups.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:14:28) - Well, that's a very powerful message to end this segment on. We're going to take a short break. Now we are speaking about addiction and recovery with Nick Travis. And we'll be right back.
Announcer (00:15:17) - Welcome back to Dream Power Radio with your host, Debbie Spector Weisman.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:15:24) - Yes. Welcome back to Dream Power Radio. I'm your host, Debbie Spector Weisman, and we're talking about addiction and recovery with Nick Drivas. Well, Nick, your addiction was porn. Do you help other people get rid of their porn addictions?
Nick Drivas (00:15:40) - Yeah. So literally any type of device, if it's porn, if it's alcohol, if it's drugs, anything of that sort, any vice that is holding you back that is not helping you reach your ultimate potential. If you want to make more sales, you want to just level up your physique. If that's what's holding you back, anything at all? That's exactly what I help with.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:16:01) - Do any women have porn addictions or is it all men?
Nick Drivas (00:16:05) - No women. Do I feel like men do it a lot more compared to women. Like, it's probably a very small percentage of women that actually come out and say, hey, I watch it and it is affecting my life.
Nick Drivas (00:16:21) - Or maybe it is, I don't know, some people do say it's not affecting their life. So it's like, I don't know if they're actually lying or they're just saying it. Say so for women. Not really. Like I get a lot of guys that have that struggle that hit my DMs, that they're like, I'm going through it like, this is challenging. I don't know what to do. And it's a lot of even just like younger guys. And then there are some guys that are like 30, 40, 50 even that still have this addiction as well. I've seen it all. So it's not one that a lot of people are able to admit and say that they actually have the addiction for it, because it's not something like alcohol. That's very like a mainstream addiction if that makes sense.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:17:08) - Oh, absolutely. I mean, I'm sure there are tons of addictions that we would never think of off the top of our heads.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:17:15) - But if someone has something that they do all the time that is affecting how they deal with life, then that's an addiction and that's something that they would need to address if they want to live their dream life. Like I said, a lot of people slip into addictive behavior because they're feeling different or unwanted or unloved. How do you turn that around into helping people believe in themselves and to love themselves?
Nick Drivas (00:17:46) - The work instills the worth. So that's the main thing that I focus on, especially with my team members, is literally to just start putting in some sort of work. If that's just like how I said before hitting the floor and doing 20 push-ups. Maybe you have never done push-ups in your life, let's just say. And then you hit 20 push-ups. You try, you get back up at ten because you fell, but you keep going, right? You're doing even knee push-ups, let's just say not even full push-ups, because you can't do that yet. That's still a win.
Nick Drivas (00:18:21) - That's still worth that. You're putting into yourself. That's building a belief because you didn't do 10, 20 push-ups beforehand. Now you did for the day. And what's so crazy is that you can stack that with as a win with anything. And it can start just with ten push-ups or 20 push-ups, and then it can go into you starting a new career. If you wanted to go and do it with your addictions, if you had, you could stop watching porn, let's say, and dumb it back and then subtract it even more. That's a big thing to start subtracting instead of adding so much to your plate, because that's what's making you lose belief. You're adding too much and it's going all over the place. And you can't pick one thing. You have to subtract so much, make it so simple for yourself, and then focus on those five things and focus on those five things. Turn those weaknesses into strengths, and then you're able to start to make more confidence. Just erupt into you to really focus on those things, to become your best in those five things.
Nick Drivas (00:19:27) - And then that's going to make you go to the next thing, then next stepping stone. Then you'd be like, okay, here's the next five things. So you already built it off of those first five things. Now you have the confidence on your belt. Now it's going to be even easier to smash these next five things.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:19:41) - And the important thing is that you're taking the action. You're not living in your head and thinking, oh, well, maybe someday you're actually doing it.
Nick Drivas (00:19:51) - Yeah. Oh yeah, 100%. That action is literally everything. Like, especially if you're just reading, but you're not actually applying. Like we have an application issue, like we can read and learn all day, but like, are you actually applying what the author is like, stating with what you're reading or you're just like learning just the past time? So it's like we have that application issue. We have to apply more, not learn more. If anything.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:20:22) - When somebody comes to you with an addiction, do they stop cold turkey or how do they get off of that addiction?
Nick Drivas (00:20:31) - So if they have, let's just say a ten plus, uh, alcohol addiction, what I tend to do is depending upon how long they've had the addiction for, we just have to start again.
Nick Drivas (00:20:45) - Is that fitness mindset? Nutrition. That's the main three things that I focus on at first. Plus subtracting the alcohol addiction. So if somebody has had it for ten plus years, it's going to be very hard at first to just go for cold turkey, because if somebody has just been doing it for a couple of years or a couple of months of drinking all the time, they're going to be a lot easier to just say, okay, I don't need this anymore, but the person that's had it longer, it's going to be harder to just say, okay, I'm done. That's it. So we have to just cut back. So if they're drinking every single day, then it's like, okay, let's cut it back to try just a couple of days a week. Then we do like see that, see if that's working. Then we'd be like, okay, now just on the weekends okay. Can you manage that? Can you build the discipline. And at the same time, we're also focusing on a non-negotiable daily process and a daily discipline checklist that I provide for my guys to make sure that you're able to hit everything and you're staying consistent along the journey so you can sustain it.
Nick Drivas (00:21:55) - And then it's like you're doing a backwards approach. So you're going down first and then you're going up if that makes any sense.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:22:03) - Yeah. So what are some of the things on that daily checklist.
Nick Drivas (00:22:07) - So for the daily discipline checklist is going to be like no sleeping in, no junk food, no fast food, no smoking of any kind. Right. And then depending upon the actual addiction that you have, your main addiction or it can be a couple of the addictions, you're just focusing on hitting that checklist. Usually it's around like 15 things that I have on the list. If you're able to hit all 15, perfect for the day. If you're only able to hit 11 out of 15, now you can see and go back to the drawing board and be like, okay, what can I do to now hit 12 out of 15 for the day? So we're always focusing on the weaknesses to eventually turn into strengths for yourself.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:22:49) - So they just continue on the process. When working with somebody, is there an average time frame for somebody coming to grips with their addiction?
Nick Drivas (00:23:01) - Well, like how I said, so if somebody has like a ten plus year alcohol addiction, it's going to be different compared to an alcoholic that's only been drinking for, let's say, two years.
Nick Drivas (00:23:13) - So the person that's been drinking for ten plus years, their journey is going to be a lot longer compared to finally break the addiction because of how many reps basically they put into drinking for so long compared to the person that's only been doing it for two years.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:23:32) - You get resistance from people who you're trying to coach.
Nick Drivas (00:23:36) - Oh, yeah. Yeah, sometimes. And it's just like. Well, it comes down honestly to how bad you want it. How bad do you actually want to change your life? How bad or how annoying is it that you can't provide for your family? Or your kids are looking in front of you because you have a beer bottle in your hand, and you won't go and play with them because you'd rather have the beer. Like, how bad is it at that point? That's your kid. They are looking up to you and you're drinking your life away every time you take that sit, you know? So it's like, how bad do you actually want it? Do you want to lead from the front? Do you want to lead by example, like especially for your kids, for your family overall? Like as an individual, like create the individual and give them to the world.
Nick Drivas (00:24:23) - So would that individual want to be a slob like that for me? No, I don't know. I may just be psycho though, so. But that's just. Yeah. So that's where the resistance is, is because I have the psycho mentality meaning like, oh my God. He's like all in go crazy savage mode. Like, that's just me though. But it's because people have a fat ego, so it's in the way of actually what you desire.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:24:52) - That's always the hard thing to tame is the ego, because the ego is there to keep us from getting what we really desire. I always like to hear examples. So without naming any names or anything, can you give me an example of someone you've helped and what happened?
Nick Drivas (00:25:08) - Yeah, definitely. So I can actually use it's actually I won't say his name, but it is a family member that I was able to help with him specifically. So again, like any sort of vice that you're going through, it can be porn. It can be even just smoking a cigarette.
Nick Drivas (00:25:25) - This is what I'm helping a family member with. We got over his addiction and he's been smoking for literally ten years. And he doesn't smoke anymore. He doesn't want to smoke. And it's because of the program that I went through. And now that he's on. So he's like, yo, I don't want this. I want to just work out. I want to get better. I want to eat better. All this stuff that you're giving me, it's working. It's helping me. I'm not looking at the past. I'm not. I'm focused on now. Like he's a business owner himself. And he's like, his sales are going up 10% each month. We're dialing in his more of his daily process, dialing just his monthly goals for the business and just overall for like across the board, for everything, for himself. So it's like the process the program works, you know what I'm saying? But it's like it's because he's not focused on the things that were controlling it, and he was running to the vice, just like how I was is that things weren't going my way.
Nick Drivas (00:26:28) - So I would go and run to porn. That's you can't do that. You can't run into the vice by escaping it. And that's what he was doing specifically with cigarettes. So we had to be okay. We're just going to remove it slowly and replace it with things that are actually beneficial for him.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:26:47) - And he ends up with a life that he's a lot happier with.
Nick Drivas (00:26:50) - Oh yeah. Oh my God. He's like, dude, this is amazing. I'm like, I know, it works. It worked for me, man. Like, it's going to work. It's undeniable that it works. But you have to like, be committed. That's the thing. You can't have fasted. Like if you have fasted, don't expect that everything's going to be hunky dory like you. You have to do it fully to reap the benefits.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:27:19) - Absolutely. Well, Nick, how can people find out more about you and your work.
Nick Drivas (00:27:23) - So you can follow me on social media. Instagram. Nick fit YouTube. I'm on there too. Nick Drivas fit. And then I have my elite level program. That's where any sort of addiction or vise that you're going through really build strong habits for yourself. Anything that you want to break through limiting beliefs and really become your best selves and become your 10.0 self. That's on my elite program. That's one-on-one Zoom calls. We have and we really dial in your process. And then I have just a mid-level where it's just more group calls with like-minded individuals in a community, and you guys are able to really get your mind fitness and nutrition right. So I have two programs and you guys can just hit me up on Instagram at Nick once again and just say, you came from the podcast and you're just ready to go and take action. That's it.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:28:21) - Absolutely. Well, Nick, thank you so much for being on Dream Power Radio today.
Nick Drivas (00:28:25) - Thank you, Debbie, for having me on. This was crazy. This was good, I love it.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:28:31) - We've been speaking about how to deal with addictions with Nick Drivas. I hope you've enjoyed today's program. If so, please hit that subscribe button so you don't miss out on any future episodes. Until next time, this is Debbie Spector Weisman saying, sweet dreams everybody.
Announcer (00:28:47) - You've been listening to Dream Power Radio with your host, Debbie Spector Weissman. For more information on Debbie or to sign up for her newsletter, go to Dream Power Radio.com. This has been Dream Power Radio.