Announcer (00:00:04) - This is Dream Power Radio. The place where your dreams turn into reality. Here is your host, Debbie Spector. Weisman.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:00:13) - Hello, hello, hello and welcome to Dream Power Radio. I'm your host, Certified Dream-Life Coach Debbie Spector Weisman. This is a place that we talk about dreams, both daytime and nighttime dreams, and how you can use them to make the eternal shift to a life you love and rediscover the truth of who you really are. It might seem a little off beat to start off today with this thought, but it actually ties into the theme of this episode. So go along with me here. A lot of times you can tell a lot about a person from the name of their website. Websites that consist of a person's name or fine, although if the person's not a celebrity, you can't get any insights from the name alone. But then there are the websites that are made up of descriptive words. Before I bring her on, I want to tell you the name of my guest's website. It's Joyful Radiance.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:01:08) - Take in those words for a minute and think about how they make you feel. Don't those words bring a smile to your face? Don't they lift your heart, make you feel even a tiny bit better about you and your world? Well, we're gonna meet the woman behind that website now. Kate Heartsong is an author and speaker and coaches her clients to realize their greatness in order to make a positive difference in their lives. She calls herself the confidence coach and we're going to find out what her secret sources is to help people, raise their confidence levels, and feel that joyful radiance within. So let's begin. Welcome to Dream Power Radio, Kate.
Kate Heartsong (00:01:49) - Oh, it's so wonderful to be here. Thanks, Debbie. I'm so happy to be here. And very excited.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:01:56) - Oh, I am too. But, Kate, why do you call yourself the confidence coach?
Kate Heartsong (00:02:01) - I call myself the confidence coach because I mainly focus really on building confidence and empowering my clients so that they can make the changes that they want to make.
Kate Heartsong (00:02:13) - Way back when I was younger and as a child and my young adult, I actually had no confidence. But a lot of shame. And I know what it's like to transcend this. It's a lot of work. I had psychotherapy, I did workshops, I did a lot of reading with self-help books. I had come to a point in my life back then, knowing that I was so anxious and frustrated and seeing others happy and realizing also I had no confidence. And a lot of it was because of the childhood trauma and experiences. I'll share a short story. When I was two years old, I fell out of a window. I was a very curious toddler, Debbie, but as a result, I lost most of my hearing and therefore I grew up thinking something was terribly wrong with me and thought, you know what? Nobody wants me. There's something wrong. I have a hearing loss and I was too ashamed to share that with anyone. Consequently, between that and some childhood stuff with the family, I had no confidence.
Kate Heartsong (00:03:30) - So being able to transcend that, I'm living proof it is possible. It seems like a whole different lifetime. So I call myself the confidence coach because really, it gives me so much passion and so much joy to offer to others, to really know that they can tap into their greatness and raise their confidence. I'm living proof.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:03:56) - Yeah, I tell you, it is so important. I mean, I didn't have the same kind of traumas that you did, but I also didn't feel confident for a long stretch of my life. Then let me ask you this. First of all, do you think that the shame is the opposite of confidence?
Kate Heartsong (00:04:11) - Oh, that's a good question. In some ways, yes, I think so, Debbie. That's a really good way to put it in perspective. Confidence to me means feeling great about ourselves. I am in alignment. I am not shy to go out and just share my gifts and to help others. And shame is where I go within to me anyway, thinking there is really, really something wrong with me. And yeah, that's a good way to put it.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:04:42) - Okay, well, when someone comes to you now and they say, I don't feel confident, do you share your story?
Kate Heartsong (00:04:49) - Do I share with them, hey, I do understand. And you're not alone. It's important for people to know that they are not the only one on the planet experiencing it. And then I share with them. I'm living proof that I've been able to transcend this. And I have many different simple techniques and tools to help to build confidence. I don't sugarcoat with them. It's not anything that happens overnight because we need to change underneath. What is the belief that they feel like they, for whatever reason, aren't confident? Maybe they don't feel like they're capable. Maybe they have negative self-talk. So I am a confidence coach but not a psychologist. So we really don't delve into the reasons behind it. But we do look at, well, where are you today? And here are some very concrete and simple tools and techniques. Plus, through the coaching, the client will come with the realization, as you know, because you're a coach as well, the client will come with a realization of what works best for them.
Kate Heartsong (00:06:04) - How can they incorporate the techniques? So I support them with using those tools and to really empower them to know there's amazing cumulative effects using the tools. And one of those tools is minding on being aware of our self-talk. And how can we stop ourselves from beating ourselves up and instead have the talk that uplifts us? There's many other tools as well.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:06:35) - I think for most people self-awareness in and of itself is the key, because I believe most of the time we're sleepwalking through life and we're just not aware that we can do things. We don't have to just be in whatever we're doing. So you did say tools, so share with me another one of your tools.
Kate Heartsong (00:07:02) - And before I do, I just want to echo so much the truth of what you just shared. The self-awareness is key. Well, actually, I'll share that as a tool. Having self-awareness to be able to catch ourselves as when we are using negative self-talk. And I know what that was like.
Kate Heartsong (00:07:24) - I used to call myself stupid all the time and it just becomes habit. It's our mode of operation. But when we come into mindfulness, mindfulness and awareness, we can then better catch ourselves. And then switch and replace it with the positive words. For example, let's say what I used to do is call myself stupid and catch you myself, I would say. I am doing the best I can. I made a mistake, and I am still okay. So finding something that works, that feels good. If a person doesn't feel like it's really true, the ego will say, oh, that's not true. So if we make an affirmation saying, for example, I really am okay and lovable. But the mind, the ego might say, oh no, you're not. Something that was recommended to me so long ago--A kernel of wisdom is to say instead I am willing to learn. I am okay and lovable. And you know, Debbie, the mind hears that I am willing to believe I am okay and lovable.
Kate Heartsong (00:08:45) - And then after a while start saying I am okay and lovable. So that kind of sets the brain up. And so there's that's one tool.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:08:57) - And it is amazing how our brain works and the things that tells us who right are aware of it. And I love that little switch of saying I'm willing to learn because that is a transition way of dealing with it.
Kate Heartsong (00:09:12) - Oh, that's a good way to put it a transition instead of jumping right into it if it doesn't feel believable. Transition and acclimate and prime the brain. Yeah, because the brain listens to us.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:09:30) - Well, you said that you pretty much dealt with not feeling confident for a while. Was there a turning point where you finally said to yourself, it can be different?
Kate Heartsong (00:09:43) - Yes. I remember when I was in college, it was in my early 20s. I had experienced just regular, consistent anxiety and frustration and just a general unhappiness. And I observed other people being happy and some not so happy, but many people happy.
Kate Heartsong (00:10:06) - And I started learning and realizing I cannot live this way anymore and maybe I can change. I do remember there was a powerful weekend retreat on expanding ourselves and personal growth and development, and I remember learning from that, and that was probably one of the catalysts as well. I can change, I can make a difference and feel better. I don't have to be in this space. And one of the biggest things I learned was the self-talk and the awareness of how am I talking to myself? Would I talk to my best friend or anyone the way I talk to myself? No. So, yes, slowly I've started being a sponge and as I mentioned, reading a lot of self-help books, having some psychotherapy and releasing trauma through that as well as some as some other modalities.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:11:20) - So when you're working with people now, is there a timeline for how long it takes for them to feel their confidence?
Kate Heartsong (00:11:28) - That really depends on the person, and it depends on how long have they been in this state of no confidence. What are their internal beliefs so we can shift.
Kate Heartsong (00:11:42) - It can sometimes take a few weeks. I have some clients who use a particular technique and there are so many of them. But one of them is the writing down every day three things that you acknowledge yourself for just being consistent every day. And it doesn't have to be a big thing. It could be acknowledging that you've made a great meal for your family or acknowledge yourself for going to work even though you're not feeling well, and you don't like the job. Just acknowledging yourself. And that does help people to start the momentum. And that could take a few days or more than a few weeks. So it depends on what the person does and how often do they remember to have that awareness of self-talk. Self-talk is number one. But there's also other ways that we can build that. So it varies from person to person. But sometimes people can start seeing results even in a few days. Not that they're going to be completely transformed, but that they can start feeling better.
Kate Heartsong (00:12:57) - And then they may go back to the general modum, but then go back and use those exercises.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:13:04) - And it's all about creating new habits that focus on that.
Kate Heartsong (00:13:09) - Yes. Thank you. That's a good way to put it. Creating new habits and then embodying it and living it and allowing yourself to completely be immersed in knowing the truth that we really are great. We may not feel like that, but we really are. I know, I don't know anyone here in the audience, and yet I do know each one has amazing, fantastic, and there are so many gifts and talents that each one has. And then when we can step into that greatness, it is not being egotistical, as you know, Debbie. It is to recognize our skills, our unique combination of talents, and then we're better able to share that with others. And when we know we are no better or less than anyone else, we're just in our own truth and anchor into that. That also helps to build that self-confidence.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:14:11) - And so well said, Kate. With that, we have to take a short break now. We are speaking all about confidence with Kate Heartsong and we'll be right back.
Announcer (00:14:57) - Welcome back to Dream Power Radio with your host, Debbie Spector Weisman.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:15:04) - Yes. Welcome back to Dream Power Radio. I'm your host, Debbie Spector Weisman, and we're speaking about confidence with Kate Heartsong. Well, Kate, what happens to your clients when they can finally say, I feel confident now?
Kate Heartsong (00:15:21) - Oh, I love witnessing their expansiveness, their stepping into their full potential. This is what happens when my clients or anyone who is working on their confidence, I witness that they're better able to navigate or deal with upsets in life, knowing that they have the confidence, knowing they know how to deal with it, they don't have to beat themselves up. I witnessed them following their heart and having the courage. To do that, I witness them being empowered where it's okay for me to change jobs. I'm really scared. I don't know where my next paycheck will be when I create my own business, but now I have the confidence to be able to move forward and create that. So those are the types of things I witness.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:16:19) - You just mentioned that four letter word fear. So do you feel that when a person feels confident, they're better able to deal with fear in their lives?
Kate Heartsong (00:16:30) - Generally? I think so. And it's not that we will never have fear again as you know. Another excellent question. But yes, having confidence knowing whatever it may be, knowing I deserve to have good things, or the confidence to know I have the ability to overcome this challenge. Confidence. Knowing that I have the ability to head on right into that flame of fire, of fear, because I have trust and confidence in myself. So those are things that we can do. Fear will come up, but we have the ability and the sense of empowerment to work through whatever challenges. I consider myself very confident, and yet I've had situations of fear come up. And sometimes that ego will just go right into that fear. My heart races and I feel scared and then I know certain techniques to deal with it and bring myself into processing the upset and not to deny it. But then, because I'm confident, I know the tools I can use to then get myself back into the place of calm and center and awareness after going through processing that fear.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:17:58) - Do you see any correlation between feeling confident and self-love?
Kate Heartsong (00:18:04) - Oh, gosh. Yes. Absolutely. Completely. I believe that when we can be in a place of self-love, which can mean many different things. When we're in that place of self-love, we recognize, from my perspective, we deserve to have good things. I can take care of myself. I feel more empowered. And when we do that, and we have that self-love, which would also reflect positive self-talk plus positive self-care. I believe that all has a cumulative effect in our building our confidence.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:18:48) - Absolutely. I totally, totally agree with that. I always love to hear examples. So do you have an example of someone you've coached and how they changed or how feeling confident affected them?
Kate Heartsong (00:19:03) - Sure. I have one client I've been working with for several months. Well, for confidentiality, I won't say what type of clients she has, but it is her own business, and she has clients. Some of them can be very rude and very demanding. And when we first started. It was very common for her to have clients who were overstepping her boundaries and not being very nice. And very demanding. And also would want her to change the schedule or go over the time for the session that she does. Through our working together, she has come to realize the importance and the openness of creating boundaries and that it is absolutely okay and necessary to speak up. So through our coaching, she has become more confident and empowered, and does now speak up to the clients who overstep her boundaries. And she's also feeling better and recognizing that her patterns from past with certain relationships, that she doesn't have to take their verbal abuse. And then she's starting to be much more able to stand up and speak up for herself and not to take everything so internally.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:20:45) - Okay, Kate. So I want to ask you about this. Does meditation play a role at all in your process?
Kate Heartsong (00:20:51) - I believe it does. Again, another wonderful question. Meditation is a great way to get deep within, to have that relaxation, to tap into source or God or the universe or whatever word we want to use, that it is that in my, my opinion, the wonderful connection and alignment with thee, all that is.
Kate Heartsong (00:21:21) - This nurtures and cultivates. There’re many different words, but for me, a sense of calmness and equanimity during the day. And when I'm more in that place of connection with myself and thee, all that is for me, it brings more calmness and empowerment and alignment. And that again leads to feeling good. And when we feel good, we can have a sense of building that confidence, the feeling of empowerment.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:21:57) - Yeah. It does also help when you have that that good feeling and you've raised your energy level. It helps you also deal with that negative self-talk.
Kate Heartsong (00:22:06) - Oh gosh. Yes. Excellent. Yes, it does. Because we tend more to be in a mindfulness and awareness.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:22:15) - Yes, absolutely. Well, tell me, how does confidence or being confident help us thrive in the turbulent times that we're living in right now?
Kate Heartsong (00:22:27) - Confidence is perhaps number one. Well, actually, I think number one is awareness. But confidence is right up there. Confidence in ourselves helps us so, so tremendously in dealing with what's happening in our own lives, plus the turbulence in the whole world.
Kate Heartsong (00:22:50) - The reason I think that is it helps when we are confident in our ability to respond to situations. When we're confident in knowing how we can deal with challenges in a way that meets our needs. It helps us then to be more successful in that it requires our knowing ourselves well and having the confidence, the empowerment, the feeling, you know? Yes, it's turbulent or yes, in my personal life there's a huge challenge. But yet I know I am strong; I've had the experience to be able to deal with things. I can do this again. I can deal with the challenges. And when we recognize the turbulence in the world and we have the confidence in ourselves, then we know we have more of a sense of. I can make it through. I don't know how, but I will make it through. Or I do know how I'm going to make it through. I've got those tools. Plus, when we recognize we've been confident we're in our power, we are anchored into the truth of who we are.
Kate Heartsong (00:24:15) - We're better able to move quickly and easily tap into that energy space, for lack of a better word. But it is all the energy. And how can I show up? And not only for myself, but to also serve for others in the turbulent times. So confidence is key. Now, if a person doesn't feel like they're at the point of great confidence, that's okay. Start with one little step at a time. For example, like I shared, write three simple things down every day on what you can acknowledge yourself for. That also helps you to focus on what is good and what is going right. And in that, again, we can build that confidence and say, well, I dealt with that huge divorce ten years ago. I know I can go through this again.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:25:14) - I'm so glad that you said start small because so many people think, well, it's so overwhelming and I gotta get it all done because we live in this instant gratification society. When you start small, you build on it. One thing builds on another on another and another. And all of a sudden you realize that you're ten steps away from where you started.
Kate Heartsong (00:25:37) - And oh, yes.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:25:38) - And that helps also. Okay, you've written several books, and your latest one, Humanity's Cry for Change, is a call for all of us to realize that we have the power to create that joyful world for everyone. So can you speak to that concept that that we're all connected and what that means and how we get that joyful radiance you talk about?
Kate Heartsong (00:26:03) - Absolutely. I feel very honored to be the messenger of this book. It explains about how each one of us does have the ability to make change not only in our own lives, but as we do because we are interconnected. We also add positive to the collective consciousness. This whole concept of interconnectivity really boils down to that. On the most elemental level of all life, of everything. Everything is energy, and so it all inner penetrates coalescence with each other. When we're together with others, we have our energies actually combine, and we've all experienced the sense of interconnection.
Kate Heartsong (00:26:52) - You know, when we walk into a room and it's a happy room, we tend to feel happy. When we can work on our own individual selves, we can then again feel better. Have that confidence and imagine hundreds of thousands or millions upon millions of people doing their own inner work, gaining their confidence, adding their important piece of the puzzle called the humanity. Millions of people. Adding to that adds positive to the collective consciousness. So humanity's cry for change does share key concepts, that being one of them, key concepts that help us to better navigate what's going on individually and on in the whole world. But also it shares the importance of understanding certain things, such as that we are interconnected. When we can understand and live by these concepts, we are better able to have that joyful radiance we are better able to give. Like I mentioned that important piece of our unique combination of talents and gifts to others. And we can then also recognize what we give to another comes back to us.
Kate Heartsong (00:28:16) - So it is just really key and very simple exercises in there, by the way, that help us to raise our vibration, gain our confidence. Yeah, that's chock full of all kinds of profound wisdom.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:28:31) - Oh, that is wonderful. Is there a final thought you have that you'd like to leave with our audience?
Kate Heartsong (00:28:36) - Yeah. So my final thought is: No matter where you are at, on the scale of the level of confidence or self like or self-love, be willing and open to tap into the greatness of who you are. Because each person truly has amazing gifts and greatness. So once you can really believe that in yourself, you will start building that confidence.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:29:06) - Oh wonderful. Well-put. Kate, how can people find out more about you and your work?
Kate Heartsong (00:29:12) - My website. Thank you. My website is the Joyfulradiance.com, Joyful radiance.com and if you're interested, opt in for my monthly uplifting e-newsletter and you will get two free meditations. And I'm also offering a complimentary coaching session, so feel free to use the contact form on my website, JoyfulRadiance and it would be such an honor to serve.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:29:43) - Okay, thank you so much for being on Dream Power Radio today.
Kate Heartsong (00:29:47) - Oh thank you, Debbie. It's been such a joy and I so appreciate you. I love the work you're doing, and I love the questions you ask.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:29:55) - Thank you. We've been speaking about confidence with Kate Heartsong. I hope you've enjoyed today's program. If so, please hit that subscribe button so you don't miss out on any future episodes. Until next time. This is Debbie Spector Weisman saying, sweet dreams, everybody.
Announcer (00:30:11) - You've been listening to Dream Power Radio with your host Debbie Spector Weitzman. For more information on Debbie or to sign up for her newsletter, go to Dream Power Radio.com. This has been Dream Power Radio.