Debbie Spector Weisman (00:00:05) - Hello, hello, hello and welcome to Dream Power Radio. I'm your host, Certified Dream-Life Coach Debbie Spector Weisman. This is the place where we talk about dreams, both daytime and nighttime dreams and how you can use them to make the internal shift to a life you love and rediscover the truth of who you really are. Would you like to receive more while doing less? It's everyone's goal, isn't it, to be able to manifest exactly what you want, when you want it, and feel fulfilled and on top of the world? Well, you know the old saying: if it was that easy, everybody be doing it. Right? So what stops us? Doubt. Fear. Stress. Self-sabotage. All those nasty negative thoughts that keep us small and stuck. But we don't have to stay there forever. My guest today, manifestation strategist and intuitive healer Heather Forrester, actually helps people get what they want. She specializes in advising overachieving professionals how find fulfillment in all areas of their life to make their dreams a reality.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:01:19) - And she's here to tell us how we can do it too. Heather is a business owner herself and the author of the book, "Breaking Toxic Life Patterns: Simple Secrets to Heal Trauma Without Reliving It." Welcome to Dream Power Radio, Heather.
Heather Forrester (00:01:35) - Thank you so much for having me. I'm excited to be here.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:01:37) - Oh, it's my pleasure. Heather. Heather, what do you believe is the number one reason that keeps people from reaching their goals?
Heather Forrester (00:01:45) - So for me and for my experience and then working with several women over these last few years, the thing that I believe holds us back is two things. And it's a concept that I call identity a little bit. So what this kind of represents is number one external conditioning. And then number two unresolved trauma. And so this identity entanglement, it causes us to be stuck in our self or our ego self. And we're not able to connect to our spiritual self or the part of ourselves that allows us to flow and to just trust and have faith and allow that confidence and allow that just inner knowing that things are coming, and things will be fine.
Heather Forrester (00:02:39) - And so that external conditioning and that unresolved trauma, those two are kind of tied together and all. When I say unresolved trauma, all that means is suppressed emotion. If there is emotion that in the body, that stuck in the body that has not been dealt with or acknowledged or express, it will create a trauma in the body. And this doesn't necessarily mean you've had a bad childhood or a bad experience or a bad relationship. That's not necessarily the case. But at any point in your life, if you go through something and you were not able to express that emotion or let that emotion be acknowledged and moved through, it can create a trauma and get stuck in the body, and it can cause blocks in our chakras, in our internal flow and our energy flow, and that internal flow being kind of stuffed up. Right? I think some people will maybe say, oh, I don't have trauma, but from my experience, unresolved trauma is just unresolved emotion that's stuck in the body.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:03:51) - I'm really glad that you did clarify that definition of trauma, because so many people and when you say the word trauma, they think, oh, it's some horrible thing that's happened. You talk a lot about self-limiting beliefs, and so often it's maybe an offhand remark that a loving person, like maybe a mother said to you that she meant it in a loving way, but you took it the wrong way. And because it was never dealt with and evolved into this big thing that made you think terrible things about yourself, right?
Heather Forrester (00:04:23) - Yes, yes. I love that you say that because something that I teach and talk a lot about is there's a concept called the map. And the map is everybody has their own map. So for example, if I say think of a dog, you're gonna have an image of a dog that could be completely different from mine and the listeners here today. So what that means is we all have our own map based off of our own programming or that external conditioning, how we were raised, all of our experiences.
Heather Forrester (00:04:57) - So exactly what you're saying if a friend or a teacher or a lover or a parent says something and they say it based off of their perceptions and their experiences and their map, to them, it might not have been meant a certain way, or it may have just been expressed a certain way. But to us, because of our own map, if we're not extremely aware of that map and how our map works and what that means, and just being able to check have the tools to check in with our own map, we can take somebody else's map and make our own map go crazy. And like you said, it can build and create something really big for ourselves and create that conditioning or that programming that starts to cause those doubts and those insecurities and that need for perfectionism or that need to take so much action or whatever it is that's kind of burning us out or keeping us from showing up and actually showing up in a way that we're getting any type of results, if that makes sense.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:06:06) - Yeah, well, you said that word awareness and so many people just aren't aware. I like to say people sleepwalk through life all the time. So how does somebody get aware? How do you help people get that awareness?
Heather Forrester (00:06:22) - So for me, the thing with awareness is it's again, it's coming back to that identity entanglement. A lot of the work that I do is involved around the identity entanglement. So we start to look at part one, the external conditioning. So these are the stories that we're telling ourselves. So sometimes the first step to awareness is just calling ourselves out when we're complaining or when we're being negative or when we're in that internal dialogue. The first step to awareness is just acknowledging where you are at. And, you know, a lot of people that I've talked to and experience, they'll say they have trouble with meditating or whatever because there's so much going on, there's so much noise. But I like to let people know that that's actually the first step is when you try to meditate, it's going to be noisy for the first time and that actually you're in the right direction.
Heather Forrester (00:07:17) - And that is the first step to creating that awareness. You don't want that. But that noise is going to be there and it's going to take some time to clear the noise. That's the work. So the first step to awareness and the first to being able to clear that noise is first acknowledging the noise. And so for a big part, that a lot of people be missing in the healing process or the manifesting process, because when you hear healing or when you hear about manifesting, you get so high off of the thought of the positivity, right? So you're like, oh, we have to think positive. We have to be positive. But there is a step in the middle that I think a lot of us miss, and it's detrimental to our progress. And what it means is that step is going down, that acknowledging of the negative, that acceptance of the negative, that experience of the negative and that being of the negative. I think the biggest problem in the manifesting, or the healing process is we're trying to get over that uncomfortable dip when we have to go in and experience that and feel it and, and really move through it.
Heather Forrester (00:08:32) - Because from my experience, healing and manifesting, there is no way around. There's only through you, only through those conditionings, only go through those unresolved traumas and around it with some positive thinking or some affirmations. It's an uncomfortable place. And so that's why I'm so passionate about what I do because that's exactly what I believe I meant for, is to hold that space, to make it quicker and easier and more possible for people to go into that uncomfortable space in a in a safe place without judgment.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:09:10) - Well people tend to do everything they can to avoid the negatives. So if you're in that space, how do you work through it? So you're either not stuck in the negative or you avoid it.
Heather Forrester (00:09:25) - So for me, of course, I'm a big advocate on having a mentor of some sort that you trust, somebody who's experienced being able to kind of identify those avoidant patterns or identify those stories and kind of help you work through it.
Heather Forrester (00:09:41) - Because I think part one of what you're asking, sometimes we don't even realize we're avoiding it because we're surviving, and it's so scary and it's so uncomfortable. And you will place these blinders or these blindfolds on ourselves that we don't even realize we're telling ourselves these stories or blocking ourselves, or because we're protecting ourselves. So because it's so uncomfortable, our body and our mind will build these walls against those feelings. And so we will feel stuck, and we will feel overwhelmed and frustrated and anxious, and we won't even know why. And so having that mentor can kind of help you untangle it in like let it come to the surface. Now, if you're alone, then it's going to be meditation. The best thing to do is just really meditating and letting what I have my clients do when they need to take matters into their own hands, because that's one of the things that I teach as well. I don't want I always say that I don't want to be a pill that you have to take for the rest of your life.
Heather Forrester (00:10:45) - A big thing for me and what I do with my clients is I want to teach them the tools to be able to do that stuff themselves, to be able to identify when it's happening, go within themselves in and clear it out themselves. So not only am I going to help them do it, but I want to show them how to do it for themselves because it can be hard, and it's the hardest when you're doing it for yourself because you're biased. And like I said, you put those blinders on. But the thing about doing it yourself is just giving yourself a moment to check in and say, okay, Debbie, what am I feeling right now? What am I thinking? What am I feeling, what do I need? And just being able to kind of scan the body and noticing where you might be having tension. What's the story behind that tension? If your chest is tight and it's hard to breathe, start to examine that. What is this about? What is the story behind this? What are the characteristics of this? What are the emotions behind this? And just sending love and compassion to it.
Heather Forrester (00:11:48) - And that's the best place to start if you're kind of doing it on your own. Like I said, it's a little easier when you have a mentor. You can go really deep and get really personal with it when you have a safe space to do something like that. But the main thing, the two main components is part one, just giving yourself that space to ask yourself those questions and to do that check in and that body scan. And then number two, no matter what it is, the answer is send it love. Send it compassion and acceptance. Right. We're not trying to tell it to go away. We're not trying to say you need to get over yourself. We're not trying to say you need to stop feeling anxious. Just say, hey, I see you, I hear you, I love you. And then you can kind of say, is there anything you need from me to that anxiety or to that uncomfortable, that negative thought feeling? What do you need from me? What can I do for you? And feeling it, allowing it to just express itself? That's what I find helps actually move it and break it free from clogging you up internally.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:12:52) - So we have been talking about the internal factors that keep us from having the success that we want. We could take a short break. Now when we come back, I want to focus a bit more on some of the external things. So we are talking with Heather Forrester about how to manifest success, and we'll be right back.
Yes. Welcome back to Dream Power Radio. I'm your host, Debbie Spector Weisman, and we're talking about manifesting success with Heather Forrester. Well, Heather, a lot of times people don't get what they want because they aren't actually clear on what it is their actual end goal is. How do you help people focus on getting clarity on what they want?
Heather Forrester (00:13:45) - So from my experience, if someone isn't extremely clear on because I've had several clients that come to me and they're just like, my goal right now is to figure out what I want for my career, what I want out of love, what I want in these areas of life. Right? Like, who am I right like that? Sometimes that is just the goal.
Heather Forrester (00:14:05) - That is the goal. And so it's exactly that process of just what I like to do is I find when someone is disconnected from their past or their goals or that future clarity or that vision, I find it's a journey of just really kind of trusting yourself. I find part one is somewhere along the way. A lot of people that come to me with that goal is they've had a major life change, like maybe multiple major life changes back-to-back, like parents die, divorce, things like this, and they don't really trust their decision making. So they're like, I don't even know who I am. I don't know what I want, I don't know where I'm going because I built this life and it crumbled. And I know this from my own experience. I had built a career. I went through a divorce, my dad died. All of these things just happen at once. And I kind of came to this realization, like, who even am I? And what life did I create, and why did I even create that life? And then what do I want instead? And for me and the clients that come to me that are in that kind of situation, I find we go through a process of, like I was saying, number one, it's just building that trust for the self and then also kind of reintroducing yourself to you and that process for me and what I guide my clients through kind of looks like an inner child journey.
Heather Forrester (00:15:31) - So we start to reconnect with the parts of ourselves along the way, whether it's an inner child, an inner teenager, or an inner young adult. And we start to look at those decisions where we made mistakes and we do some forgiveness, we do some clearing, we start to see the blessings behind those mistakes. We start to really digest what we've learned and what we want to do differently based on those learnings, like what do we want and what we don't want because we've gone through these things. So now we know what we liked about it and what we want to make sure doesn't happen again. So it's really just a journey of kind of going back through the life and figuring out, okay, this was good, I love this. This is who I am. This is a soul calling, and this is what I learned. And this is what I want to make sure I don't put myself in again. And then just really just making sure that we accept those mistakes and start to build that trust and that confidence in who we are and our ability to make gut decisions and use our intuition and our internal guidance, and then just connecting into those parts of ourselves that spark that joy, that laughter, that imagination in using those things, that spark those things to kind of guide us and a lot of the times unexpected things happen, like what I find, for example, if somebody comes to me and they they're very career oriented, but they maybe they had a business and it failed or, or something happened and they had to close it down and now they don't know what to do.
Heather Forrester (00:17:04) - So what I find is we look at everything that they've been interested in, in every path that they have fallen into career wise over the years. And we take little bits and pieces of what they were good at, what their skills were, what they enjoyed. And then somewhere along the way, the puzzle starts to fill in of what they were meant to do. Because I believe, personally, everything we experience in this life is preparing us for what our soul is called to do. And so I like to look back at that timeline and kind of take what was sparking that soul, and then what we were learning and kind of take that information and create what was what's meant for us.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:17:47) - So does this process also instill greater confidence?
Heather Forrester (00:17:52) - Yeah. So like I said, a lot of it is going back and kind of revisiting those moments where we feel like we fail and kind of gaining a new perspective or kind of. Looking at what we learned and why we can be, why we're happy about what we've learned and what we can take from it, and what we want to make sure we don't attract again.
Heather Forrester (00:18:15) - Because what I find is a lot of what I the reason I wrote the book, Breaking Toxic Patterns is what I find is if we are afraid to revisit our heartbreaks or revisit the things that where we feel like we messed up or we failed, what will happen is we won't learn the lesson. And if the lesson is not learned, we will repeat the lesson until it is learned. And the only way to learn the lesson is to revisit it. Give ourselves the love and compassion we need for experiencing it, and then really just taking that time to figure out what did I learn from this? How did I grow from this? What do I know that I want now and what I don't want now because of this? And the lesson lies within that going in that uncomfortable like revisiting just a little bit, like going in, acknowledging giving love and compassion and then figuring out what that lesson is that we're going to take from this situation that didn't work out and move forward in a more productive and a more expanding way, so we don't end up there again.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:19:22) - Can we actually truly manifest positive outcomes in our lives without embracing forgiveness and in particular, forgiving ourselves?
Heather Forrester (00:19:32) - I personally don't believe that you can. I mean, I'm one of those. I'm optimistic. I'm a devil's advocate. You can. I'm not going to say that I think everything is possible, but I believe that there is a sense of forgiveness involved in the process. Because if we're holding on to resentment or grudges or guilt or shame, whether it's towards ourselves or somebody else that's going, that's blocked emotion, that unresolved trauma, and it's blocking the channels within. So we cannot manifest. And so whether you want to call it forgiveness or if you want to just call it clearing or, you know, sending love and compassion to the situation, it's all the same to me. I know some people have a harder time with the word forgiveness. It's scary, but it's all essentially very connected and it's a very similar process. Whether you're clearing it, you're sending love to it or you're learning from it.
Heather Forrester (00:20:32) - They're all connected, from my experience and from what I understand from it.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:20:38) - And where does self-care come into this? Because I would think that that's also important to acknowledge your own self-love.
Heather Forrester (00:20:46) - Right. So for me, what I have learned is I don't like to look at self-care as like bubble baths and getting your nails done and stuff like that. Not that that's not self-care. But for me, and this I think resonates a lot for myself. And then the type of people that I attract into my world, I would consider myself. And maybe you'll understand this. I consider myself to be the strong one right in my community and my family and my tribe. Not that I don't have people to be there for me, but I'm kind of the one. I'm the one that takes care of everything. I'm the one that gets things done. I'm the one that usually has to figure it out. I've always been that one. I've always been the responsible one and all of that.
Heather Forrester (00:21:34) - So I call that the strong one. So when it comes to self-care, it can be extremely important, especially if you resonate with that term like I'm the strong one in the family or in the tribe or in my community. Self-care for me is balance when things are balanced because, again, I'm the strong one. Everything that I love is so important to me. So my family, my career, my education, my personal development, all of these things are extremely important to me. So if I am not balanced in them, I'm not feeling good. Something that's very important to me is being able to be there for others. And I'm extremely empathetic. And so when I want to be able to help others and I want to do all these things, but if my cup's not full, then I can't do it properly, and then I'm frustrated and it's just a bad cycle that I get myself in. So self-care to me is that check in that we were talking about earlier is just what does Heather need? What is Heather feeling? And then just taking the time to go there, go into those uncomfortable places, clear that out, express what I need to express taking that.
Heather Forrester (00:22:48) - I call it me time. So it's just that me time. And then the second thing is that balance and boundaries. So I have to have my me time and I have to have balance and I have to have boundaries. So those are the three things that I consider to be self-love. And self-care for me is I have to be very clear on what my priorities are and where I want to spend my time and energy, and I have to make sure that I have good boundaries that will allow those things to be balanced, if that makes sense.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:23:18) - So talking about things to do to help us gain that control over our lives and asking those questions who we are, what do we want? All those questions you just talked about; you said meditation is one way to get into it. Do you advocate other things such as journaling, for example?
Heather Forrester (00:23:38) - Yeah. And so I actually believe there are a lot of different ways to meditate. I believe when we're journaling, we're meditating, when we're reflecting or meditating when we're talking, when we're thinking, we don't even have to be like in meditation.
Heather Forrester (00:23:53) - But when we're thinking about things in our mind, we're meditating. But yes, journaling, especially if there's a lot, if you're new to meditation and there's a lot of noise journaling paired with that, like reflection of thought is extremely powerful. And there's again, there's many types of ways to journal. You can journal where you're writing letters or like being very intentional with how you're writing. Or you can just close your eyes and scribble and just express emotion through the pen. There's so many different avenues of expression and clearing. And so that's another reason why I am such an advocate for having a mentor. Because if it wasn't for all of these certification courses that I took and mentors that I've had over these last few years, I wouldn't have been able to channel what I needed to channel and get it organized. And that's again why I wanted to do what I. I do today is because I know how complicated and complex it was, and to just get access to some of those tools and to just get clarity on what you can do and how you can do it, and figuring out what works best for you is going to build this bridge and make this so much easier and quicker is from my experience and what I understand.
Heather Forrester (00:25:16) - And just having that safe space with someone you can trust to create this space of non-judgment and loving compassion from somebody who's been where you are and is where you want to be.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:25:28) - Heather. What led you to become a manifestation strategist?
Heather Forrester (00:25:33) - So I started with trauma. When I started as a coach, I was a I was trauma informed and trauma focused because that is what actually led me to become a coach. Like I was mentioning earlier, my father passed away, my life began to crumble. I went through a very, extremely traumatic divorce, and I was fighting with all of that going through postpartum depression and I got alone. Like I was led to be alone, and I fully give credit to my dad in the spirit realm for guiding me to these places. And so I was led to be alone. And I was shown I read all these books. I took some courses and I watched these. I watched different documentaries. I just did a bunch of research. I was just guided.
Heather Forrester (00:26:19) - I just started asking myself, how do I change? How do I feel? How do I get out of these cycles that I was in? How do I make sure that I never end up in a marriage like that again? How do I make sure that I make a difference? Because my daughter, I need to be different for my daughter, this is going to kill me. The stress is going to kill me. So I started asking those questions and I was led down these paths and I met all these people, took all these courses, read all these books. And so again, I started with trauma, and that was my main focus is let's just heal unresolved trauma. And again, as you can probably tell from the beginning, I still do that. That's exactly what I do. But I didn't realize how powerful healing, unresolved traumas. Just like we're going to make sure that you don't, you get out of all the toxic stuff, and we and we go to in the direction you want to go.
Heather Forrester (00:27:10) - But I didn't realize how. And I always talked about manifesting. I was like, if you want to manifest, we have to do this. And I never really realized that that was actually the ultimate result that I was providing for people. And so it just over time, I went from I thought the result was heal trauma. That is a result. But the big result is manifesting is that ability to manifest in flow and freely. So I kind of it just evolved. So it's the same stuff that I started with. But I'm now looking at the magic of the power in the healing, to resolve trauma. That's the word if that makes sense. I used to look at the work as the result, but this is the result, if that makes sense.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:27:53) - Heather, how can people find out more about you and your work?
Heather Forrester (00:27:56) - So the best place to connect with me is on Facebook. So it's facebook.com slash holistic healer Heather. And you can follow me or add me. I like to connect with all of my followers there, and I also have a Facebook group.
Heather Forrester (00:28:10) - So as soon as you go to my Facebook profile, you can find my YouTube channel, you can find my Facebook group and in my Facebook group I do live trainings and events. They're all free trainings and free events. Those are the best places to get more resources and to go deeper and learn more. And then, like I said, I host events and do trainings all the time. So Facebook is the best place to find those groups and the channels to get more resources from me.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:28:35) - Well, Heather, thank you so much for being on Dream Power Radio today.
Heather Forrester (00:28:39) - Yes, thank you so much for having me. I hope this has been valuable and helpful.
Debbie Spector Weisman (00:28:45) - We've been speaking all about manifestation and manifesting what you want in life with Heather Forrester. I hope you've enjoyed today's program. If so, please hit that subscribe button so you don't miss out on any future episodes. Until next time, this is Debbie Spector Weisman saying Sweet Dreams, everybody.