#74 - Would you mind if I sat here? 🪑 Practicing a very polite way to ask for something

Would you mind if I asked you a personal question, Latonya?

No, I wouldn’t mind if you asked me a personal question but remember I don’t have to answer it. 

That’s a perfect answer, Latonya!  You wouldn’t mind if I asked you a personal question, but you may choose not to answer it. Your question and my answer are examples of using the expression “would you mind” when we are asking someone to do something… or if we are asking for a favor. 

We are asking “would it be OK to do something?” or “would it be a problem for you if I did something?”

I used this pattern to ask Latonya that question: would + subject + mind + if +  request (verb in past tense).

Would you mind if I (subject) asked (verb in past tense) you a personal question (request).

Using the verb (ask in our example) in the simple past is the grammatically correct way to ask a “Would you mind if…” question. In spoken English, however, it is common to say “Would you mind if I ask you a personal question.”  - using the verb “ask” in the present tense. 

We will use the past tense form of the verbs in our requests here so that you learn and hear the grammatically correct form. 

Here are a couple more examples:

“Would you mind if I borrowed your pen for a moment?”

“Would you mind if we arrived a little late for class tomorrow?”  

“Would you mind if I brought my daughter to the party?”

What are some ways we can answer “Would you mind if …” questions?

Here are some positive answers: “No, I wouldn’t mind.” 

Or very positive response: “No, I wouldn’t mind at all.”

Or short and positive: “No, not at all.” Or just “Not at all.”

Notice that these positive responses all have “no” or “not” because we are saying that “we don’t mind. It is not a problem”.

Listen to this exchange: “Would you mind if I used your pen for a minute?”

“Yes, I would.”

 You are answering with a “yes”, and saying that you do mind if I use your pen. You don’t want me to use your pen.

Right, we answer “would you mind if  …” questions with a negative if the request is OK with us.

We also frequently use “Would you mind…?” questions with the “ing “ form of the verb.

Here are some examples: 

“Would you mind answering a few questions?”

“Would you mind helping me a minute?”

“Would you mind waiting a short while?” 

“Would you mind speaking a little slower?

Can we answer those “Would you mind…” questions using the “ing” form of the verb the same way  that we answer the “Would you mind if …” questions?

You bet! If the request is something that is OK with us, we can answer “I wouldn’t mind.” Or “Not at all.” to both forms of questions.

How do I answer “Would you mind if…” questions if I do mind? If I want to say “no” to the request in a polite way.

You can say: “I’m sorry but I can’t.” or “I’d (I would ) rather not.” Or “I’m sorry …”(and give a reason). Listen for those polite requests and answers – both positive and negative -  in our short conversation between two friends who are talking on the phone. 

A: Hi. How’s it going?

B: Would you mind turning down your TV. I’m having a hard time hearing you.

A: Oh, sure, no problem. Is that better?

B: Lots better, thanks. Would you mind if I asked you a little favor?

A: Not at all! What do you need? 

B: Well, would you mind lending me your car this afternoon? My car is at the mechanics, and I have a dental appointment at 3:00.

A: Oh, I’m sorry, I can’t lend you my car because I need to take my daughter to soccer at 3:15. But I can pick you up at 2:30 and drop you off at the dentist at 3:00.

B: Great! That will work. One more thing…would you mind stopping at the store on the way to the dentists? I need to pick up a few things.

A: No, I wouldn’t mind. I’ll pick you up a little earlier - at 2:15 then.

B: Thanks! Oh, and would you mind picking me up from the dentist at about 4:00? 

A: No problem. Just call me when you are done.

B: Thanks so much for all your trouble!

A: I don’t mind a bit!

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