How to Change Your Brain & Create Lasting Habits

In this episode, we discuss self-directed neuroplasticity and how our brains form habits. I explain how our brains are wired to naturally form unhealthy habits. You will learn how to recognize these patterns and consciously choose to show up for yourself and follow through on your commitments to create new, healthier habits.

New episodes the first Wednesday of each month. Special releases and bonus episodes monthly.

RELATED TO THIS EPISODE: 

• You Brain Suffers From Stockholm Syndrome: https://thelawyerlifecollective.com/your-brain-suffers-from-stockholm-syndrome/
• Wanted: Motivation: https://thelawyerlifecollective.com/wanted-motivation/
• The Science of Habit: https://www.healthline.com/health/the-science-of-habit
• Neuroplasticity: https://psychcentral.com/health/what-is-neuroplasticity#how-it-works

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Transcript

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Autumn G Noble (00:00.238)

You are listening to the Lawyer Life Podcast, episode number 30, how to fix your brain and create lasting habits. That data is filed away in a part of our brain where we develop emotions and memories. But here's the crazy thing. That part of our brain is not where conscious decisions are made. Hey everyone, welcome to the Lawyer Life Podcast.

If you're wondering how to find greater success and peace in your career, how to get more things done and find more time for what's actually important, you are in the right spot. At the Lawyer Life podcast, we dig into the good and the bad parts of lawyering and we provide practical tips to help you take back your power and start living the career of your dreams. I am your host, Autumn Noble. I am an author, speaker, practicing attorney, as well as a life and career coach for lawyers. I have worked in firms of all shapes and sizes,

I've taught at universities, built a thriving practice from the ground up, and I've worked in -house with a Fortune 300 company. Now I have created the Lawyer Life Collective to leverage all of my experiences and learnings to help my clients pave their own way. I am so glad that you're here.

Autumn G Noble (01:19.982)

Welcome back my friends to the Lawyer Life Podcast Season 2. As many of you may know, we are kicking off a new season of the podcast and announcing some exciting changes. First and foremost, going forward, the podcast will launch a new substantive episode on the first Wednesday of every month. But that's not all. Every month we will be supplementing those episodes with bonus content and material

including special releases and excerpts from my new book just to keep things spicy. Stay tuned to the end of this episode to get a sense of what our first bonus episode will look like. And if you're not already registered to receive our monthly newsletter, be sure to sign up to ensure that you receive readings and topics that will complement each podcast episode and take our work a little bit deeper every

Before we dig into today's episode, I want to share with you the most exciting thing that the Lawyer Life Collective has done during our brief summer break. We have finalized and published my latest book, The Lawyer Life Survival Guide. It is now available on Amazon if you want to hear real life stories of coaching successes, as well as my horror stories from my early years in lawyering.

Be sure to grab a copy of the Lawyer Life Survival Guide packed with practical steps to transform not only your practice, but reset your understanding of your value and craft a bright future forward. Thank you to all of you who have already purchased a copy. I have to admit it's been incredibly awkward to have all of this vulnerable truth out there in the universe about my misadventures in lawyering and my personal life. So for those of you that have given it a read,

Thank you for your support and your kind words. And now let's get down to the business of today's topic. This month we are focusing on getting our heads right so that we can attack the year end with some clarity and renewed sense of purpose. That's right. This month we are focusing on getting our brains together and talking about how our minds work and function to either help us or hurt us when making any kind of a change to our lives.

Autumn G Noble (03:33.568)

In today's podcast episode, we are talking specifically about self -directed neuroplasticity. For those of you that might be wanting a little bit of a lighter read on this topic, be sure to sign up for our newsletter this month where we are going to be talking about how our thinking could potentially be impacting our physical well -being. So be sure to check out this month's newsletter where we unpack that work from Dr. Masaru Omoto.

and his research on the physical responses to positive and negative thinking. If you are not already on the newsletter list, head over to the lawyerlifecollective .com and get your name on the list to receive that upcoming episode. Even though I don't have to actually deal with any kind of back to school blues in our house, it seems like every year when August sets in, a feeling of foreboding comes along with it.

signaling the end of the fun times and the beginning of serious adult work time. Recognizing that we still have nearly two months of summer left, I can't help but feel like the sunshine is almost gone and year end is just around the corner. So it's no surprise that I recently found myself writing that popular mode of public transportation known affectionately as the Monday morning struggle bus.

It was Monday morning, I was tired, I was grouchy and just plain did not want to do my big kid lawyering job. I just wanted to go full on introvert hermit and hide under the covers all day. I know that we have all been there. The problem was that I had made all of these commitments to myself and to my legal clients. And as many of you know, in working with me, my calendar is my sacred space and it reflected a full day of tasks that I had planned to complete.

so that my week and my life would stay on course. So the constant reminders from my calendar started popping up at 7 a and I knew that they weren't gonna stop until 8 .30 p later that night. Knowing this was coming and knowing that I needed to show up for myself in some kind of a grownup way, I told myself I just needed to kind of muster up some motivation so I could power through and get over this.

Autumn G Noble (05:50.272)

As I sat there in this kind of mental tug of war, not wanting to work and knowing that I needed to work, my brain was sort of spinning on, gosh, how can I get motivated? How can I put a little pep in my step? And as per usual, my brain started suggesting all of the fun things. How about some Facebook? Why don't we go down the street and pick up some Starbucks for a caffeine jolt? Or maybe a quick chat with a girlfriend or a family member.

Maybe if I procrastinate long enough, I will force myself to get to work in that frenzied state of overproductive stress induced mania. My brain, like many of us, came up with all sorts of fun things that I could do today instead of working. And that's when I realized that I had just witnessed my brain shifting over into that serious, reptile, pleasure seeking brain.

It knew that I wasn't feeling particularly motivated and it knew that I didn't want to work. So it was politely offering me all sorts of ways to indulge myself and run away from the crappy feelings and dumb work projects. My brain got to work coming up with all sorts of things to do to self soothe that discomfort and dread. In my mind, I imagined that my brain was like some skeezy alter ego standing on the corner and

Dirty trench coat offering me all sorts of things that could help me fly to the moon and solve all of my problems. Dramatic yes, but I felt like it really suited what was happening inside of my brain at that moment. My brain was selling me a quick fix and it was promising that it would make me feel better and help me avoid the discomfort that I was currently feeling the Monday morning blues. I had thought I really don't want to do this.

And my brain responded, you know what, here's some things that you could do instead that would be way more fun. In addition, my brain went to work telling me all the reasons why it was OK to blow off all the things that I had promised myself. You you worked really hard all weekend. You really didn't take many breaks. You deserve a day off. This legal project isn't really worth worrying about. You can do it tomorrow. You deserve just a little bit of a break today. You'll be way more productive tomorrow.

Autumn G Noble (08:06.476)

This is what our brains do. We are so used to indulging ourselves and going out of our way to bury those negative feelings, i .e. buffering, or running away from them outright through avoidance and procrastination. That is what our brains automatically do in the face of discomfort. And over time, our brains just get really good at it. And this is how small bad decisions

start to form the basis of bigger bad habits. That one time you give into your brain saying, you know what, let's just blow off today and come back more productive tomorrow. Your brain is gonna get a feel good. We no longer have to feel the dread of the projects and the dread for the rest of the day. Now we have the endorphin rush from saying, you know what, screw it, I don't wanna do this today. And our brain loves that reward. And now we have developed

a trigger and a stimulus in our brain saying, you know what, when we scrub a whole day, it feels good and we get that little endorphin rush. And that exchange is what forms the basis for later, bigger habits that become tremendously difficult to break. Our habits are simply routines or rituals that are often unconscious or have become almost automatic or second nature.

A habit is a practice that you repeat so regularly that it can be really hard to change. And it could be something as simple as biting your nails when you're worried or picking up a bottle of wine whenever you pass the liquor store or cracking open a bag of chips every time you sit down to watch TV at the end of the day. Habits are formed because our sensory nervous systems are designed to keep track of the type of actions and activities

that deliver a dopamine hit, like I was explaining earlier, when you decide to blow off your best laid plans for a productive work day and go do something fun instead, that dopamine hit is an interesting piece of information that your brain files away. When I avoid work, it feels good and I get dopamine. Dopamine acts as our brain's reward drug because we are all wired to seek pleasure. Habits, therefore,

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are formed because our brain files away the things that provide us reward and a dopamine hit versus those that punish us or hurt. It makes sense then that once our brains identify a connection between an action and satisfaction, that data is filed away in a part of our brain where we develop emotions and memories. But here's the crazy thing. That part of our brain is not where conscious decisions are made.

So because those connections are filed in the unconscious part of our brain, that is likely why habits are so stinking hard to break. Because they have been relegated to automatic parts of our brain that don't require any decision making, just simply execution. It's the part of our brain that is beyond our conscious control. So we're not likely aware that some of these habits are running in the background.

Unfortunately, what this means for us in a modern world full of quick fixes and feel -good, our brains constant search for dopamine hits can drive us into some less than helpful directions. Like for me, when I was showing up on Monday and I really wanted to get all these things done, my brain immediately accessed those files of, know what, this would be way more fun. This would make us feel so much better.

making it really difficult for me to show up consciously and intentionally do the things that I had wanted to do. But we all know that just because something feels good in the moment, it doesn't mean that it's good for our long -term happiness, our health, longevity, social relationships, or just mental wellness. And just because something is uncomfortable, that doesn't mean that it's dangerous.

but just like our ancestors, our brains chase that dopamine high. So when a behavior comes along that results in a reward, the brain builds a connection between that behavior and pleasure, and it can just be really hard to shake. This is all really good to know because once we have that awareness, we now know that once our brain runs a feel -good pattern a handful of times, once we blow off our schedule and go to Starbucks instead a handful of times,

Autumn G Noble (12:46.698)

our brain really becomes a pro and starts offering us those quote unquote solutions every time we face the same type of similar discomfort. It's those handful of limited times that we allow ourselves to indulge in something like reality TV instead of going to the gym. It feels really good. But now your brain has made a connection between skipping the gym and getting a dopamine hit on the couch, likely while indulging in some dopamine triggering

food and drinks as well. So now every time we consider doing something uncomfortable, like going to the gym or doing the work, our brain offers those simple solutions instead. When you add to that our own confirmation bias, it really becomes difficult to show up for ourselves. For instance, if you think to yourself instead, I really don't want to do this work today, or I really don't want to go to the gym.

today, your brain is not only going to run the old patterns seeking a feel good instead, but your confirmation bias is also going to show up and offer you all sorts of reasons why you really shouldn't do that today. And maybe you should wait till tomorrow or you really shouldn't go to the gym. You know, you don't really have time. You really need a break. You really should rest. The day was super stressful. You seem kind of run down. You're probably getting sick. Best to skip the gym or take a day off from

All of those types of excuses really bolster that initial thought of, shouldn't do this, or I don't need to do this. Your brain in that confirmation bias steps in and is like, you know what, you're right. And here's all the reasons why you're right. You add that to our patterning, that unconscious patterning of seeking to feel good instead. And it really just sets us up for a catastrophe and not following through on our commitments to ourselves.

Now, this is not all to say that we're just wired for failure. But again, it's the awareness that I think is really important because that's going to help us understand what is happening up there and why is it so hard for me just to go to the gym or just sit down and work. So now when you see your brain doing this, you can know that it is just operating as it should. And what it is telling you is not necessarily the truth.

Autumn G Noble (15:11.102)

All of the feel -good things your brain is offering you instead of the hard work and all of the excuses it's serving you on a silver platter, they're not factual. They're just habitual thoughts that our brain has gotten really good at thinking. And habitual solutions our brain knows feel better than the alternative. Your brain seeks to operate as efficiently as possible, i .e. running these same patterns.

And that reptile brain of ours just wants to keep you safe and avoid discomfort at all costs. So when you get uncomfortable, that's your brain sign to step up and offer you these better alternatives. And then you add the thoughts to it. I don't want to do this or maybe I can wait till tomorrow and the confirmation bias sweeps in. And here we go. They're all just attempts to keep you running the same route that you've been running your whole life, to keep you in the routine that you know.

And that may mean a routine that doesn't involve showing up for your work deadlines and committing to what you've put on your calendar for the day or going to the gym when you say that you're going to. That's the routine that your brain knows and it wants to keep you there. But what I want you to see is that that part of our brain and the way it's wired in that kind of a way is also guaranteed to keep you stuck. We have to know that in order to change any kind of a habit,

our brain is going to fight us on it. And with that awareness, we are going to prepare ourselves to be much more likely to push through that and follow through to change our old patterns and create some new healthier habits. This doesn't mean that every time you start to feel that tug of war between

a new intention or a habit that you're trying to create and your brain trying to talk you out of it, it doesn't mean that we start mentally fighting with ourselves and arguing with ourselves and being frustrated with ourselves that we're even in this space. Instead, our goal is to just recognize what's happening in our brain and ignore all of those thoughts and justifications that our mind is offering. And sometimes I just literally say to myself, okay, brain,

Autumn G Noble (17:29.834)

I see what you're doing here. I see that you're trying to talk me out of this. I understand why. Thank you for trying to keep me safe, but I'm going to go ahead and do this thing instead. That could really help me realize that what's happening in my mind is not the truth and it's not necessarily even in my best interest. It's just trying to keep me stuck in my old pattern. Knowing that I can kind of access the logical part of my brain and see this for what it

and push forward anyway. When we start to do that and recognize the tug of war and instead show up for ourselves and do the thing instead, we start to develop a new set of patterns and beliefs that your brain can start to channel and create new habits. When we start to recognize this tug of war, see it for what it is and show up and do the thing anyway,

We allow ourselves to create a new set of beliefs and a new set of patterns that will allow our brain to start shifting and creating a new neuro pathway in the direction of our new intentional habits. What's more is we start to develop this skill of commitment and learning to honor and show up for ourselves. And that my friends is a pattern that can allow you to change anything.

in your life. A lot of us sort of unconsciously create habits of not showing up for ourselves and finding the feel good instead of having our own back to the commitments that we made previously. That is not a habit that we want to continue. But when you start pushing through and showing up anyway, you create a new habit because when you do show up for yourself, that also creates an endorphin rush.

And so now we start developing a new pattern and a new neural pathway that's more consistent with who we want to be and how we actually want to be showing up. That commitment habit can create its own persuasiveness and its own type of feel goods, but also will create a vastly different life for you. What's really going on here in the background is this idea of neuroplasticity and specifically

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self -directed neuroplasticity. Brain plasticity allows you to learn new things, gather and use new data, and self -directed neuroplasticity is when you intentionally rewire your brain to create more positive habits. So that's what we're really talking about here. In the same way that we go to the gym to lift weights, to build muscle, you can also exercise your brain

to strengthen its memory and emotional regulation skills. Through that action and experience, you start to take advantage of your brain's ability to modify its activity. Every time you learn or do something new, follow through on a new habit or a new commitment, your brain starts to create that new connection, especially when there's an endorphin rush that comes from following through and showing up for yourself.

When we repeat that action, it reinforces the connection. And while this is a new and developing area of science, and I'm certainly no scientist, researchers know that the brain grows, it changes, and it can heal from injury. And while they don't 100 % know how to make that happen intentionally, research suggests that you can start by engaging in new activities or those that require you to use diverse skills.

do something new, something that's uncomfortable. That opens the door to emotional and behavioral change. But in order to get there, we have to push through that tug of war where our brain tries to keep us in the old routine. In order to push through that, we have to really root down in why. Why are we doing this new thing? At the core of rewiring habits is reflection and really connecting with

Why? In fact, it's a pillar of cognitive behavioral therapy and it basically works like this. Try new things, pay attention to how they make you feel. That second part, how they make you feel is really the critical piece of it. And it's the best hack I believe that we can have for changing present behaviors. So going back to our earlier scenarios when it's Monday and you don't want to do the work or you don't want to go to the gym as you had planned.

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doing the thing and then simply reflecting on how it felt to push through that discomfort and show up for yourself instead of sinking in to the quicksand of your couch. When we reflect on how that felt, we start to access the critical thinking part of our brain and recognizing the benefits of showing up for ourselves, the why, why is this important? What does it get us

push through this mental tug of war. That awareness alone that comes from that kind of reflection can create a new kind of reward correlation that our brains can file away in order to form the foundation of a new healthier habit. In order to implement this in your own life, the approach is really straightforward. Simply reflect on how unhealthy behaviors make you feel. And for most of us,

Yeah, it feels really good to plow through that bag of Doritos in the moment, but 15 minutes later, I'm feeling terrible. And a lot of our bad habits feel the same way. Feels good to skip the gym in the moment, but the next day, an hour later, whenever it may be, the guilt sets in. Our body doesn't feel good. It doesn't fit in our clothes the way that it used to. All of those negative things. Connecting with those and helping us understand the implications of our existing pattern.

and comparing that to how healthy behaviors feel good in a different kind of a way. So we push through that discomfort, we do the thing and then we reflect on it. Yeah, I really didn't wanna go to the gym. Yes, I really didn't wanna do my work, but I feel so much better. I feel so much more productive. I feel healthier. Connecting with how those healthy behaviors and showing up for yourself felt, that's gonna not only create that new pattern,

but it's gonna give you that why that really matters. Why are we pushing through this? Why are we setting ourselves up for the discomfort? What is it getting us and what is it costing us to not do it? That is what reflection gets us. So we do this practice and we write it down. Maybe even talk to somebody about it. Gosh, you know, I skipped the gym and I felt really terrible or I threw off my whole work day and didn't do anything and I just feel miserable about

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but then also talking to people about how you feel when you do follow through and kind of socializing the experience. Going back to those journal entries, going back to those people and reconnecting with those experiences and your reflections are going to continue to keep them at the forefront of your mind so that when that tug of war shows up again, you have those reasons.

What is it costing me not to change and what will they get me if I do follow through? And from there, we can make a much more logical decision, connect with that why and push through. So to recap, whenever we're feeling unmotivated or tempted to ignore previous commitments that we've made to ourselves, we have to recognize that we may simply be letting our brain run wild and it's stuck in an old pattern and that's okay.

It's trying to chase some feel -good that we know from previous experiences of blowing off our commitments in favor of some short -term dopamine hits. And that is what our brain is supposed to do. Nothing has gone wrong here. Your brain is simply trying to keep you safe in patterns that it knows and understands and that provide you with pleasure. When we know that, we can not only have compassion

for the efficient operations of our brain, but we can really just simply recognize what's going on here and see that the thoughts and justifications for shirking our commitments, they're just patterned thoughts and they're not true and they're often not based in facts. From there, we can own that we have a lot more control and say so over our thoughts and behaviors than it may sometimes feel.

In fact, our brains offer us a lot of room for improvement, to change and to heal. But first, in order to do that, we have to push through the discomfort and commit to showing up for ourselves. Knowing that doing so will allow us to really create those new habits. Last, in order to make it stick, we have to be present with ourselves throughout the whole process, actively reflecting on the difficulty to show

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How does it feel when we don't show up and we don't follow through? As well as how does it feel to receive the reward of having your own back and following through and drawing the connection between the old patterns and the new patterns and allowing your brain to see the new rewards that come from that new activity? In sum, our magical brains are just really good at running some

worn out patterns that will never allow us to evolve. If we want to create a different future in any kind of a way, big or small, we have to change the way that we show up for ourselves. And largely that means changing the patterns that our brains run automatically. That repetitious practice and discomfort is a big part of what we do in coaching. If you have some kind of a change that you're wanting to make in your life and you're wondering,

If coaching or any other kind of support might be just what you need to push you over that hump, reach out and sign up for a free coaching consultation or just meet me for a virtual coffee so that we can brainstorm ways to help you move forward. At least we can get to know one another and you can start to understand what coaching could offer you and see if it's the right fit for you. In any event, if you like this topic and you're interested in other ways that we can change our brain for the

better, be sure to sign up for our monthly newsletter. In the newsletter, we explore this study that suggests negative thinking could actually be having adverse effects on your physical well -being. And in the newsletter, we talk about ways that we can change that and become more aware of our negative thinking. One of those options is using mindfulness meditation. So in furtherance of this

topic for season two of the podcast. We are releasing a mindfulness meditation that will come out in two weeks. It's a guided meditation on how to have a productive day when you're just not feeling up for it. When I first started practicing and I felt like my career and my personal life were nothing short of a fantastic dumpster fire, the most important habit that I developed was meditating. I would shut my door and I would take five minutes.

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maybe 10 minutes at the most and meditate privately in my office. And it was the only thing that I started to do actively that allowed me to disconnect from the chaos around me and find some form of peace. For that reason, it only makes sense to me that I start leveraging my meditation studies and offering it to you here as part of the podcast.

So we will be releasing more guided meditations throughout this season with the first one coming in two weeks. As always, I so enjoy getting your positive reviews on your podcast listening platforms. And if there are any specific things you would like to share with me, please feel free to reach out and send me an email to autumn at the lawyer life collective .com. In the meantime, be sure to grab your copy of the lawyer life survival guide on amazon

Enjoy the rest of the month and we will talk again in September.