Cydni and Sher

Virtue and the Pursuit of Happiness

Cydni and Sher Season 3 Episode 96

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In this episode, Cydni and Sher dig deep into the concept of virtue and the pursuit of happiness with caffeine-induced laughter, and historical insights. They explore the wisdom of John Locke and founding fathers like Thomas Jefferson and Benjamin Franklin, while also discussing women’s impactful role in fostering virtue, quoting Abigail Adams, Phyllis Wheatley, and others. They further discuss holding babies at church and the lofty ideals of aligning actions with moral values. This episode is, "Virtue and the Pursuit of Happiness" and we are so glad you're here!

This Week's Challenge
We challenge you to identify three virtues that matter most to you and reflect on why they are important. Then, challenge yourself to live by those virtues every day, striving to be your best self.

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Show Notes

Drip-Drip Drop, Words and  Music by  Matt Hoiland
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Episode 96 - Virtue and the Pursuit of Happiness

Cydni: [00:00:00] this is Cydni 

Sher: and I'm Sher. And each week we get together to share with you a message of hope.

Cydni: It is through our own study and our personal experiences that we offer the reminder to not only seek the light, 

Sher: but be the light. You can find peace and there is hope

Cydni: and as long as one of us is slightly caffeinated, there will be laughter. 

Sher: Today's episode is Virtue and the Pursuit of Happiness. 

Cydni: And we're so glad you are here 

Sher: Okay, Cydni. So this year we're really trying to dig in and really study what the Pursuit of Happiness means so this next month we're gonna focus on love, Liberty and the pursuit of happiness 

Cydni: I'm so glad you're reviewing this because sometimes I forget what our game plan is and you just reminded me right now what it is. That's good. I like it. I support this. 

Sher: You're welcome. That's why I'm here. But I have to say it out loud or else I would [00:01:00] also forget. 

Cydni: I didn't know for sure what the topic was today. And so this is helpful because I was like, okay, we're recording today, right? So we're doing, are we going to go on a walk with the dog and go get him out and do, but nope, we're not doing that. And so now I'm just going to learn today from you, but I have a mic in my face. This really worries me a lot. You're gonna carry us today, Sher then we're in trouble. 

Sher: Well, a few weeks ago we, talked about virtue and happiness, and then my brain just would not turn off. from this. I kept thinking about the founding of the United States and the connection that it has to virtue and the pursuit of happiness. And so I decided that I wanted to go full on history with you today. 

Cydni: I had the exact same feelings and thoughts. I'm a hundred percent on the same page. I just could not let the topic go. And I just felt like I was going to let you take the lead, though, because of my own virtue, you know?

Sher: No. I did want to know more about where the Founding Fathers got this idea [00:02:00] of connecting virtue with happiness. I knew a little bit, but I wanted to know more. And so I looked up a few people but you're only getting the appetizer because Cydni can vouch for this. I had pages upon pages, did I not? 

Cydni: You did. I tried to read all of them and that's actually why I got burned out. I was like, I cannot do this anymore. There's so many words. But I was impressed that you attempted. Thank you. All I did after I tried to read through your notes was I looked up virtue on Urban Dictionary. That was my effort. 

Sher: And what did it say? 

Cydni: I was expecting something super funny.

Sher: And it wasn't? You were disappointed? 

Cydni: Yeah, I was disappointed. Cause it was just nice. it was things like something or someone or in action having good moral standards, pure in heart, high quality behavior that shows good morals. But I kept scrolling because I was so disappointed in all of this goodness.

 And I did see that one person said something that a virtuous person is informative or funny. And I was like, okay, [00:03:00] well, according to my own standards. I'm virtuous then because sometimes I make jokes and so I'm virtuous. But then I just have one thing to say and then you could go is that I think it's very virtuous Let's say we're at church. Okay. Sher and let's say I am going to go hold someone's baby for them. Oh my gosh. And someone else at church is like, Oh, look at the baby holder because she's trying to get out of class. And I'm like, I'm virtuous. Let's say it's me and you. Let's just say hypothetically, let's say this happens every Sunday for the last three Sundays that I go and hold someone's baby so they could perform their duties at church.

And I walk the halls and I go to class for like. Two minutes. That's pushing it. I think like a minute and a half at most. Sometimes I go for a minute and a half just to let everyone know I'm holding a baby, which is virtue signaling. So we should learn about that too, where I'm like, look at me, I'm holding someone's baby and then I'm going to give it back.

And then I leave. Anyway, I just think it's virtuous to hold the baby to let the other [00:04:00] person. Perform their duties and that this other person, let's say it's you, is harassing me. Like, oh look, here she comes again, using a baby to get out of class. I think that's not virtuous. That's all I have. 

Sher: Cydni literally gave herself a calling. She just said, I am now the baby holder. Just one though just one baby holder. No because you have another baby lined up 

Cydni: Yeah, but I only said that because she was also harassing me. So I was trying to get her off my back I was like, oh look you're pregnant too. I'll hold your baby next my husband did walk up and he's like, are you holding the baby again? And I said, yes, because I'm a virtuous woman. And he said, are you baby hungry? And I was like, get away from me, man. No, I only want to hold a baby for about 45 minutes and give the baby back. I just think that this other person in the story should be more supportive of what's happening. 

Sher: I just want everyone to understand that if you want to make up a calling in church, apparently you can. 

Cydni: I am doing it. so she's right. I [00:05:00] gave myself a calling I sustained myself alone with a sleeping baby. I said, does anyone have any objections to Sister Cydni being a baby holder? And nobody objected. And then I raised my hand and I was like, well, it looks like it's done. 

Sher: The thing is, I actually believe all of that happened. I think you did do that.

Cydni: I did. A virtuous woman doesn't lie. She just holds other people's babies so they can do the things they need to do. the time is convenient for me. I just had to get that out, Sher. I was feeling attacked at church nonetheless. 

Sher: Well, it'll probably happen again next Sunday, so get ready. Me holding 

Cydni: the baby? Heck yeah. 

Sher: Ugh. That was exhausting. All right. So back to the whole point here we're going to talk about virtue and the pursuit of happiness and here comes the history. . So I'm going to go back to the years between 1632 and 1704. That is when John Locke was alive. And John Locke had a huge influence on our founding fathers. John Locke wrote and taught about natural rights, my favorite topic, as you are well aware of. And wrote about it in an essay [00:06:00] called An Essay Concerning Human Understanding, 1690. I love that title. Me too. I just like to say it because it makes me sound smart 

Cydni: I think if I write an essay, I'm going to put essay in the title. It just sounds Advanced. I like that energy. 

Sher: I like it too. this essay was about human happiness, reason, and virtue. In it, he said, the highest perfection of intellectual nature. Lies in a careful and constant pursuit of true and solid happiness. So to me, what this means is that the highest perfection of intellectual nature means that you are perfectly smart, right? 

Cydni: You lost me at perfect and then smart. I'm lost. 

Sher: But doesn't that kind of make sense? You have the highest perfection of intellectual nature, that means you're perfectly smart. So, to be the highest perfection of smart, in his definition here, is carefully and constantly pursuing true and solid happiness. All right, so what is true and solid happiness? He said [00:07:00] that true happiness means your happiness is not temporary. It's not from indulging in things or material gain. It's from virtue. Wisdom and the proper use of reason and that is what helps you to be happy. He said that it's a state of inner peace and contentment that arises when we align our actions with moral values. Then solid happiness means it's stable, reliable, and enduring. Alright, so let's just back up a little bit. are we being smart?

Alright. Do we understand that the smartest people on this earth right now are constantly pursuing true and solid happiness? And they do this by actions with their moral values.

John Locke believed that happiness is rooted in reason and moral living. Not fleeting pleasures. He believed in being virtuous, respecting others rights. he used the phrase life, liberty, and property.

And we'll talk more about that in a minute, but this shaped [00:08:00] the founders of America, that virtue is essential to freedom and self governance. Before we move on to the next person I wanted to talk about something he said. Remember that his essay was about human happiness, reason, and virtue. And I just kind of got fixated on that word, reason. What exactly did he mean by reason? I wanted to know the difference between reason and discernment. I looked up a few things. reason relies on logic and evidence.

Discernment incorporates intuition, emotional intelligence, and spiritual insight. Reason deals with what is true or logical. Discernment deals with what is wise or appropriate. Reason aims to find objective conclusions, and discernment aims to make thoughtful or moral choices.

 In short, reason is the how of thinking, while discernment is the what and why of choosing wisely. Both are obviously important because they're going to work together, discernment [00:09:00] helps determine the best course of action.

 Okay, I'm going to give you an example. If we had self driving cars, and it's been programmed, and the purpose of the self driving car is to make sure the person in the car arrives wherever they're going safely. So, Cydni, you're in a self driving car. And you see, as you're driving along, a kid a Thanks for not saying cat, because we all know immediately I know what you would do. It's gone. You see a kid A kid. A kid. Okay. A child. Sweet little baby. Not a goat. Okay. A child. You see a child on a bicycle. Runs across the street. Okay, you, as a person, have a choice. You can run into the child, or hit a tree. Cydni, what would you decide to do? 

Cydni: I'd hit that tree and be a goner.

Sher: But if the self driving car was programmed to protect you as the driver, would it hit a tree? It would not. It would hit the less impactful wall. And that's discernment. Right? So you can make that educated choice, , like the self driving car would, my job is to protect the person [00:10:00] in the car. It's going to hit the kid. But your discernment is what makes the right moral choice. It's making that right decision. It's so important to have that discernment so that you can make the right choices. and align your will with the will of God's it's more than just reason. It's discernment. 

Cydni: I'm happy to hear this, Sher, because in a lot of ways I find myself very unreasonable, but I'm pretty good with the thoughts and feelings, you know, just like I don't know why, but I feel it. I slay that, I guess in our own house, Ben is very reasonable, and I'm very unreasonable, and so I guess that works out beautifully. Lucky us. Lucky kids We're a power couple. 

Sher: Alright, so a person who understood having spirituality that leads to discernment so that you can reason properly, is George Whitefield.

And I've talked about George Whitefield before, he's one of the leaders of the Great Awakening in the 1700s, and he brought God and religion Back to the colony, so to speak, and Whitfield sermons, he tied personal [00:11:00] virtue to spiritual happiness and salvation.

So he's the one saying, look, people, if you really want to be happy, then you need to have that spirituality aspect. Being smart means you're aligning your actions with your moral values. and this should include God align your values to His. When you align your values to his, you're smart and happy at the same time. And this is what George Whitfield knew and understood, and he's going to start laying it down and preaching it to the colonies. 

Cydni: That reminds me of a Jack Handy, you know, the Saturday Night Live, Deep Thoughts, where he said, I would rather be happy than stupid. 

Sher: I'd rather be happy than stupid?

Yeah, 

Cydni: that was it. I loved that one so much. 

Sher: And what I'm trying to get across here is the smartest people know how to be smart and happy. Right. And then what I'm 

Cydni: trying to say is that if you have to pick one.

 Be rich . 

Sher: Oh, crud. Anyway, our founders, they're going to read John Locke and George Whitefield and they're going to start putting , both concepts together. [00:12:00] An example is Thomas Jefferson. He used John Locke's words. of life, liberty, and property. And as we talked about a few weeks ago, Jefferson had to change property to pursuit of happiness because the Deep South slave owners were being jerks.

 But as we've been learning, pursuit of happiness means that you're being Virtuous and you're aligning your actions with your moral values. So that's what he's talking about. And he's also using John Locke as inspiration.

Jefferson believed that happiness is the fulfillment of one's potential through education, reason, and virtue. He believed virtuous citizens were essential to being free, in fact, this is what he said. The foundation of society is laid upon virtue, the good of society is best promoted by the cultivation of virtue of its members.

 I cannot stress enough that virtue is so important if we want a good and prosperous society. The foundation is upon virtue that should be our goal [00:13:00] if we want to continue to be free and happy.

Cydni: I mean what's better than a group of people who have agency choosing to live their very best in everything they do, in the light or in the dark. That's going to get us somewhere. 

Sher: It is. It's gonna get us somewhere and hopefully we choose the right one. 

Cydni: No more pickpocketing for me. Good choice. You're all safe at Target now.

Sher: Thank goodness. Okay, so Benjamin Franklin is going to expand on what virtue meant and he came up with 13 virtues. I'm just going to read them real fast. He said the 13 virtues are temperance, silence. Order, resolution, frugality, industry, sincerity. Justice, moderation, cleanliness, tranquility, chastity, and humility. And he further said, only a virtuous people are capable of freedom.

So just think about those 13 points that he brought out. And he said, these are the only types of people that are capable of being free. 

Cydni: I'm looking at your list and I [00:14:00] don't know if I fit any of them. I'm gonna find my own list that fits better with who I am. artistic, good napper. But since you did list 13 virtues, I did want to contribute one real thoughts. There was a man who talked about virtues that end in I T Y, and I really loved what he said about this. He says, the spelling in English of many individual virtues concludes with the letter I T Y. Integrity, humility, charity, spirituality, and the list goes on. And he said referring to the English language, that if they end in I T Y, that means quality or a degree. of being and I just really liked that. 

Sher: I like that too, because that is what we're talking about. It's about trying to be your very best self In all of your actions and that is what can lead us to happiness. 

Cydni: I really liked the idea of high quality. If you want to live a happy life, you're living a virtuous life, which is a high quality. And who doesn't want high [00:15:00] quality? 

Sher: I want high quality. 

Cydni: Right? I know you wear that Louis Vuitton bag out everywhere. You love high quality. 

Sher: That is the most ridiculous thing you've said this entire day. 

Cydni: Those Louis Vuitton shades are fire, Sher. I like that Gucci belt, that's high quality. 

Sher: I don't think that's what it meant. plus, high quality to me is not going to Old Navy, but going to Gap. 

Cydni: The first statement was not to seek after material riches, and I'm like, let's bring that back. My virtue list is different. 

Sher: All right, well the women don't want to be left out in this and so Abigail Adams, John Adams wife, she advocated for the women's role in in fostering virtue in families and communities.

And she believed that liberty required the moral influence of virtuous women. Do you believe that, Cydni? Heck yes. 

Cydni: There's those quotes out there that we need women, and there's some from prophets who talk about we need women who are willing to stand up and speak out and teach. And I love those. They speak to [00:16:00] me probably 'cause I'm a woman . And then there's also, we need women who are so strong, they can be gentle, so educated. They can be humble, so fierce that they can be compassionate, so passionate that they can be rational. The part rational, I'm going to ignore that for now. I'm not going to be reasonable or rational, but I will. Nope, not gentle. 

Sher: The thing that popped into my mind is, I think well, speaking for myself, in my classroom I would much rather have a really naughty boy than a really naughty girl because Girls have a way of just cutting everyone and everything to the core when they're really naughty. give me a naughty boy any day of the week. 

Cydni: You're not wrong, since I have two boys and a girl, I feel like this is very true. 

Sher: But that says something about the power of women. Women have the capability of changing the world for good and for bad because we have that emotional passion and it's, a matter of all of us , women [00:17:00] channeling it in the right direction. Also, Phyllis Wheatley, she wrote about Christian virtue, and she said, Virtue is like a rich stone, bright and sparkling.

It can never be sullied. It is always pure. It shines like the morning sun, and when it glows, it is a beacon to those who follow it. that is the example we should be setting, we should be a beacon for those to follow. And to me, , I feel like the direction of society is based upon women. How women act and behave is reflected everywhere in society. women set the stage, so to speak, and demand, as you said, high quality, That usually is going to happen. If women, on the other hand, don't care, and they're alright with low quality , that's usually what will happen. That's just my opinion. I feel like women have the power in civilizations, because that is the way civilization will go. 

Cydni: The hand that rocks the [00:18:00] cradle is the hand that rules the world. Amen, sister. Mm 

Sher: hmm. also, Mercy Otis Warren, she wrote plays, poems, and kept the history of the American Revolution, and she said, the practice of virtue is the most effectual means of rendering men and women happy. And the happiness of a nation depends upon the virtue of its citizens. she also wrote about aligning our actions with Christian principles. All right, the point of all of this is that, Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Jefferson, Abigail Adams, Phyllis Wheatley, Mercy Otis Warren were all around during the American Revolution. And all of them wrote about how important was to align actions and our will with those of God. That is what they said over and over again. And what I loved about all of this is remember that John Locke said the smartest people in the world, they understand that and that's why they're happy.

 I really learned a lot about [00:19:00] remembering really what is important. And what's important is working on being virtuous and living that high quality of life and aligning my will with God's because that is Pursuing happiness 

Cydni: I loved this lesson today, Sher. Thank you very much. I just see one more on your list there is Cher, who loves God, and her family, and her friends, and probably has a pistol in her bosom. We're talking about people, and I added you to the virtuous.

Oh, I got it. I understand. I mean, like, I took liberty there to be, Open minded about what virtue means. Might as well have myself, who holds babies. Gives yourself your own callings. . That takes a virtuous person to give yourself a calling. Or bold, one or the other. virtuous.

Sher: And now for our final thoughts. The smartest people in the world are in constant pursuit of true and solid happiness, which is rooted in virtue, wisdom, and reason. This happiness is not temporary or material, Arises from aligning our actions with moral values and a higher purpose.[00:20:00] 

Philosophers like John Locke and leaders like Thomas Jefferson believed that virtue was essential for freedom and self governance. While Benjamin Franklin, Abigail Adams, Mercy Otis Warren, and Phyllis Wheatley emphasize the importance of cultivating virtue in our society.

By aligning our actions with godly principles, we can also pursue lasting happiness. And that is what God wants for all of his children..

Cydni: We challenge you to write down three virtues that matter most to you and understand why they matter to you. . Then challenge yourself to be your highest quality living up to those virtues that matter most to you. This is our prayer from Cydni and Cher. [00:21:00] I'm lying. I'm lying right now. I didn't, I don't know. Virtue, virtue, virtue signaling, virtue signaling 

Sher: Mm hmm. Sounds a little bougie. I like it. 

Cydni: I'm going to explain to you that this first off is an essay and try to keep up with the rest of the words. I like that energy. 

Sher: Me too. I like it too. 

Cydni: I swear I read your notes, but this is all new to me. 

Sher: Let me get my brain working. I think you're doing marvelous. Thanks. You're killing it. Let it was in the essay Oh, geez. Okay. The , I can do hard things. 

Cydni: John? Jack? Jack? John? Peter? 

Sher: That's all I get. 

Cydni: I got distracted, so I'm trying 

Sher: to find what you were reading. 

Cydni: Have a great week