It's Okay to Not be Happy All of the Time

In this episode, Cydni and Sher explore why it's perfectly fine not to be happy all the time. With a mix of humor, poetry from AI, and insightful scriptures, we discuss the necessity of both happiness and hardship in life. This episode is "It's Okay to Not be Happy All of the Time" and we are so glad you are here!

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This week's challenge is to find purpose in your struggles. Instead of praying for them to disappear, pray for understanding and the strength to bear them.

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Show Notes

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Transcript

Episode 100 - It's okay to Not be Happy all of the Time

[00:00:00] 

Sher: Today's episode is it's okay to not be happy all the time. Please stop pushing the button. 

Cydni: Can you imagine riding an elevator with me? I, the adult, did that to my children before and I laughed so hard. 

Sher: That doesn't surprise me. You should have been a middle school teacher. That would have beat right out of you. 

Cydni: Really? Yeah. Like the kids would have beat me up? 

Sher: No, you would just stop doing that because you see it every day. 

Cydni: Oh, right. I think my biggest fear with being a teacher is you have to know things. And, I just don't think I could do that. Like, especially math. after first grade, 

Sher: well, I think you're missing a key ingredient here. Education. You don't really have to know anything because you just act like you know it and just make stuff up and the kids believe you.

Cydni: Well that I can do. , 

Sher: so today, Cydni we're going to talk about, you know, it's okay to not be happy all the time.

Cydni: Or smart all the time. We don't have to be smart either all the time, or [00:01:00] happy. In fact, the less smart you are, the happier you are. 

Sher: Is that how that 

Cydni: works? Because ignorance is bliss. See? Yeah. 

Sher: Yeah. Can't argue with that. Can't argue with that. I've heard that the more 

Cydni: intelligent you are, the more depressed you're likely going to be. If you're just completely unaware of everything that's going on around you, how happy can you be? Quit learning. I should have been a teacher and a motivational speaker. I'm amazing. 

Sher: okay, we're done. Today we are going to talk about that it's okay to not be happy all the time, and I'm going to go back to a scripture that a few weeks ago in Ecclesiastes. Chapter 3, verse 1 , it says, Everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under the heaven, a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to pluck up that which is planted. So again, this is just explaining that everything has its opposites. 

Cydni: How did you not talk about a time to dance? That was our favorite part. 

Sher: It was our favorite part. 

Cydni: The opposite of it was weird. It was. What was it? There's a time to [00:02:00] mourn and a time to dance. 

Sher: I still don't get that, 

Cydni: But you've accepted it. There's a time for the Bible to make sense and there's a time that it won't. 

Sher: Yeah. And I think it's okay. It's fine. So, this scripture is explaining that everything does have its opposites and sometimes we're going to be happy. And sometimes we're not going to be happy. 

Cydni: Possibly more often than not. From my experience. You might be a lot more sad than happy. Most of the time. 

Sher: But that's what this podcast is about. Is it's okay to not be happy all the time because it's impossible to be happy all the time. didn't want it to all be sad, so I asked AI to write a poem about this. 

Cydni: If anyone knows about happiness, it's AI. 

Sher: Here's the poem. It's titled, A Time for Smiles, A Time for Frowns. There's a time to laugh, a time to cry, a time to dance, a time to sigh. Some days feel like a grand parade, others, like you've just stayed in the shade. Do you like that? See how they rhymed that? That was so good. Yeah. I 

Cydni: have a theory that Eminem used AI to write all of his raps in the 2000s.

Sher: He was ahead of the curve. [00:03:00] Yeah. All right. I'm just going to read the last stanza. So ride the waves, go with the flow. Some days are high. Some days are low. For life's a mix, both sweet and sour, but chocolate helps in any hour. How was that? It's 

Cydni: truth. I felt truth in my heart. That chocolate part got to me. But there is an actual human who wrote The same idea it's shorter. So I'm going to tell you this. I'm gonna recite this from memory. 

I'm tired of love, more tired of rhyme, but money makes me happy all of the time. , that's beautiful. I know that stood out when I was in English class I didn't listen to anything else.

That class, I just memorized it. That was the only thing you learned? Yes. 

Sher: So there's our hints for how to be happy. Is 

Cydni: to drop out of college, but after you learn some rhyme. and it's money and chocolate. Yes, so money and chocolate will make you happy. Everything else will disappoint you. and you know what? You'll disappoint others. [00:04:00] Because you're not chocolate and you're not money, so you're a disappointment. 

Sher: That's a very positive podcast so far. The point, Cydni is not that. The point is happiness and sorrow are going to coexist in life. And life is a mixture of ups and downs, and there's going to be moments of joy, but also moments of pain and loss and hardship. But opposites help us grow and shape our character. And it's okay to not always feel happiness because it's natural to experience a range of emotions throughout your life. I'm just going to get right to the point here, Cydni. The best example of this is Christ's example. , in Hebrews chapter 12 verse 2, it says, Looking unto Jesus, the author and the finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross. Despising the shame and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. So here's an example of joy and sorrow coexisting at the same time. And really honestly talk about opposites. Christ [00:05:00] endured the worst of the worst because of the joy that was set before him. He knew what was coming. And so he endured all of that. This to me is the ultimate of opposites. He kept joy and perspective throughout. 

Cydni: Sometimes I feel like you jump to Jesus so fast in these podcast episodes, I'm not criticizing. I just sometimes wonder, like, could we have a buildup because I have a moth story and like how do you, how do we go from like Jesus Christ and the Atonement? And struggles to like, there once was a moth. 

Sher: So what you're saying is maybe I should rethink how my outline is put together, have Jesus at the end? 

Cydni: No, because you can't put Jesus last We're just in a complicated situation 

Sher: Well, I want to hear about the moth now.

Cydni: Okay, is it a good time? Sure. We all want to hear about the moth yes, Sher. Speaking of Jesus. I would like to tell you about a moth.

Sher: I would just like to say in my defense, [00:06:00] I make these outlines, but I never know what Cydni's going to say. She just reads it and then it's just a surprise to everybody. 

Cydni: We're not that different. Sher I also read your outline and I have no idea what I will say. 

Sher: Okay. Fair enough. 

Cydni: But I did know I wanted to talk about a moth today and I wanted to illustrate the idea of struggle and I learned the story. Father Mike, so he likes Jesus too. So there is a connection. There once was a man who was on a walk and he noticed to the left of him on a branch that there was An emperor moth cocoon. Now this man happened to deeply love emperor moths. And he thought to himself, what if I took that cocoon home and I could actually witness the hatching of this moth. And so he took a branch and he took it home and day after day he watched it. And then finally the day came that it started to rattle a little bit and he knew the emerging was going to take place.

It rattled a little bit, and then it rattled a little bit more, and a crack [00:07:00] happened, and he was so excited, but nothing else happened. It stopped. So he waited, and nothing was still happening. Occasionally a tiny little rattle would take place, and he said to himself, that poor moth It's struggling. So the man, in his kind heart, said to himself, I'm going to help. I'm going to help the moth get out of there. And he broke apart some of the cocoon so it could get out. When the moth came out, its body was massive. But its wings, they were tiny. Because There is a process to getting out of the cocoon. It uses its wings, and it builds strength, so that then the wings can match the strong body. But the man took the struggle away, and it was done in goodness. But, sadly, The moth died. Obviously what I've learned from this lesson is that if you see someone struggling, let them.

Sher: Oh gosh. I can see that we're not going to get very far in this podcast today. 

Cydni: Don't take away someone's struggle, Cher. Do you like that story? 

Sher: Well, I did until [00:08:00] your tie in. It was pretty bad. I'm not gonna lie. I honestly 

Cydni: couldn't listen to the rest of this little video because I was laughing so hard thinking about what if he would have said. Don't take away a stranger's struggle, let them struggle, let them grow their wings. But the real point, obviously, is that struggle is meant to help us spread our wings and fly. 

Sher: I do like that. And I actually have a scripture that goes with it. 

Cydni: Perfect. Back to Jesus. Take it over, Sher 

Sher: This is actually the Apostle Paul. Back to Paul. In two Corinthians chapter 12 verses nine through 10, it says, for my strength is made perfect in weakness, most gladly, therefore, will I rather glory in my infirmities that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore, I take pleasure and infirmities in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distress, for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 

Cydni: You're never going to guess this, but Father Mike used the exact same scripture after that story. I have it written right here. Look, Paul, we, and then you can't read the rest of my handwriting, but [00:09:00] that's what it is. 

Sher: Me and Father Mike. point of all of this, Cydni is that there's going to be struggles and challenges and that's what will refine us and it's going to deepen our empathy for others and increase our dependence on God.

Now overall though, I think this is a terrible idea. I don't like the idea of persecutions and distresses and reproaches and all of that. It sounds horrible. using your moth example, you're building up that endurance and building your wings so that you can fly. And that is exactly what's happening. God wants the best for us, , and so he's going to push us in the direction that we need to go so that we can grow to our full potential. An example that I thought of is I was thinking of some of the students I've had over the years that have really had horrible things happen to them.

I'm thinking about students that I've had that have grown up most of their lives in refugee camps. They've had such a rough life, but they are so joyful because they are so grateful for everything. They're grateful for [00:10:00] freedom of speech, for freedom of religion. They're grateful to go to school. They love school lunch. Nobody loves school lunch. amazed by the wide roads that we have here. The indoor plumbing. They love McDonald's. And Any little thing you do for them, they are truly grateful, and it's because of that struggle and the rough start to life that they've had. Their heart is just overwhelming with gratitude for all the little things. We have been promised that during those hard times and in those struggles. that we will have peace. so when being and feeling happy doesn't seem possible, and it's really hard to get to that happy point, we have been promised that at the very least, that we can still feel peace.

In John chapter 14 verse 27, it says, Peace I leave with you. My peace I give unto you. Not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. And when I read this scripture, I thought again of a couple weeks back we talked about Corrie ten Boom.

And a couple of [00:11:00] quotes from her, remember she was the one that she and her family hid Jews during World War II. And then they were turned in. She was put into a concentration camp and she was the only survivor from her family. She said, you can never learn that Christ is all you need until Christ is all you have.

Cydni: That quote touched my heart so much when I read it. I love it. You should say it again as if it's like the last thing that we'll ever say on this podcast and then you should put some music behind it. 

Sher: You can never learn that Christ is all you need until Christ is all you have. Is that Zen enough? That was perfect. Oh good. Thank you. You're welcome. 

 I also love that quote because it's true. When I think about some of the things that have happened in my own life, including a house fire where most things materialistic was gone, how little that meant. it doesn't mean that much when you have your family, you have Christ, really that is all that you need. I know that my experience is nothing compared to [00:12:00] hers, obviously, but I understand that a little bit. 

Cydni: But you know, Sher, it's not about whose situation is harder, it is about the fact that across the board, the only way we're going to understand that Christ is all we need. It's when Christ is all we have and we're all going to be put in a situation. That Christ is all we have. And if we can understand the purpose behind our suffering, then we get to have the gift of understanding Christ is all we need. 

Sher: That's well said. I love that. have to put music behind that one. Okay. I won't. She also said there is no pit so deep that God's love is not deeper still. I love that. Have you ever watched The Chosen? 

Cydni: No. Sorry. 

Sher: Well, there's one scene where Christ is hugging Nicodemus just barely watched that scene and when I was reading the quote, that's what I see. The embrace that Christ gives Nicodemus, that is God's love. That's what I think of is just this big Bear hug that [00:13:00] just wraps around you and is like I'm here for you I'm always gonna be here for you No matter how deep or ugly or nasty that pit is Christ will always find you and meet you there. I have another example for you. I haven't thrown down some history lately, so. I know, 

Cydni: I've been wondering, I was like, have you forgotten who you are? 

Sher: No, I'm, I'm going to throw it down right now, okay? Yes. So I want to tell you about George Washington Carver. Have you heard of him before? 

Cydni: My first question is, have you talked about him on the podcast before? No. Okay, then no. Fair enough. I would have said yes if you did. 

Sher: Alright, well George Washington Carver was born into slavery during the Civil War in Missouri. His dad died before he was born in some type of an accident. Some people think maybe it was a logging accident, but nobody knows for sure. And then when he was only one, his mom was kidnapped by some slave traders.

And they have no idea what happened to her after that. So, when he was one and his brother was three, they were orphans. And as slavery was ending, his former [00:14:00] slave owners took George and his brother in and raised them. their names were Moses and Susan Carver. And they really felt very strongly impressed to give these boys an education.

The issue was, they had to either do that at home, or the boys had to walk a very long distance away to get to a school that would actually accept them into the school. So, that's how he was educated. He had to walk quite far to go to this school, but, his new adopted parents encouraged him to keep going and to get this education. And his entire life , he had to deal with a lot of racism. Carver truly believed that his talents were a gift from God he was a scientist and he believed that his scientific work, he saw it as a form worship and service. his nickname, he was known as the peanut man, because he really wanted to figure out how you could use peanuts and all sorts of different products. And he is also the one who really made peanut butter a thing here in the United [00:15:00] States.

Cydni: He would never stand for all the allergies that are today. 

Sher: He would not. Maybe he could figure out why they're happening but he, he had a complete dedication to helping farmers improve their crops and their lives in general. he said, I love to think of nature as an unlimited broadcasting station through which God speaks to us every hour. If we only tune in beautiful, isn't that great? Just like the moth. It like the moth He lived a very simple life and he found joy in teaching. He taught it Tuskegee Institute and his biggest belief is that he believed that true happiness comes from serving others.

he. is remembered now for not only his discoveries, but for his kindness and his humility. Another quote he said is, It is not the style of clothes one wears, neither the kind of automobile one drives, nor the amount of money one has in the bank that counts. These mean nothing. It is simply service that measures success. he found how to be happy. Despite his trials and [00:16:00] despite where he came from. And this worked for him. He believed in service he had complete faith in God. And that's what motivated him to find joy and happiness throughout his life.

Cydni: I love stories like this so much, people who've had such terrible beginnings and make such a beautiful life because they have so much purpose put in them. and that reminds me, I was listening to a, sermon by Dr. Charles Stanley. I really like to listen to his stuff. He posed this question about going through trials and why do we go through trials and struggles? And he said, do we believe that God created everything? And then He just walked away and that's why bad things happen. Or do you believe he created everything and that includes difficult things like hurricanes and tornadoes and terrible things and allows those things to happen. So do you believe, because there's basically two options he is saying that either God has created things and turned us back or he is in control of all things.

But that would include terrible situations. And if you believe [00:17:00] that, why? Why would God let these struggles and these trials and these terrible things happen? And I think it's a question a lot of people ask and they don't understand. And that is a turnoff for religion or God or spiritual things.

do you agree with that? 

Sher: I do agree with that. One of the things that I heard over and over in the classroom I'm going to be honest. I felt inhibited not to give my full answer to my students, but one of the things as we're studying history that I heard students saying, this is why I don't believe in a God, because if there is a God, he wouldn't allow this to happen. And , I would always just say, remember, everything has an opposite. If there is good, then there is bad. felt like I could say that. But for me, what I think about when thinking of these types of situations, going back to the scripture that I read at first, looking Unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross Think of what Christ went through he endured all of our pains all the sorrow Everything in the world and he could have stopped it He could have [00:18:00] stopped all of that so he didn't have to endure that But he didn't because he knew that we have agency we have choice we need to learn and we need to grow we need to Learn about love and hate and joy and sorrow and all of those things to help Build us and to make us grow and so he didn't stop it.

He endured it He went through all of it and suffered all of those things with us not just for us, but with us That's what Christ did for us. He not only allows it to happen, but suffered for us so he could carry us through those trials. That is an amazing, loving, kind God, can bring peace and happiness and joy. In times of sorrow and in times of grief. 

Cydni: I'm going to go along with something you said there because he says in his sermon, God does allow storms. Why does he allow storms? He allows storms because he wants to get our attention or to get from us a sin or a habit.

That we've let [00:19:00] develop. Maybe he wants us to conform to his image and stop conforming to the world's image. another like the moth is to help us reach our potential. He gives us the struggle to strengthen the wings so we could go where we need to go and be who we need to be. And , trials gives us wisdom. He said define wisdom as God's view, his perspective. So we are blessed to understand and have a perspective that's eternal. why does God allow these things to happen is a valid question without a perspective.

And we know people who've gone through hard and difficult things. We see things that are so heart wrenching and it's hard to understand even with God's perspective. It's difficult to understand, but we are so blessed to have a little bit of a. Higher perspective and most importantly, a hope and a faith that the things that we go through, the things we see others go through, there is a purpose. And it is because God loves us and he wants us to reach our fullest potential and there's purpose in it. To [00:20:00] have that kind of hope is a great blessing.

Sher: to back up what you said, Elder Jeffrey R. Holland said, Don't you quit. You keep walking. You keep trying. There is help and happiness ahead. A lot of it. Some blessings come soon, some come late, and some don't come until heaven. But for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come. It will be all right in the end. Trust God and believe in good things to come.

Cydni: I love that encouragement from Jeffrey R. Holland. Reminds me of what we talked about in the beginning. We won't always be happy, but how blessed and lucky are we to know we will be happy again? And that is a difference to sit in a place of feeling unhappy and not knowing if you're ever going to be happy again. It's a very hopeless feeling. And how blessed are we to know that even if we are unhappy, that we will be happy again, that the sun will rise. 

Sher: This brings us to our final thoughts. Happiness and hardship coexist. It's not only natural, but necessary [00:21:00] to experience both. Even Christ, in enduring the suffering of the cross, did so with the joy of salvation before him. Our trials shape us, deepen our faith, and help us appreciate the moments of happiness that come. As Elder Jeffrey R. Holland reminds us, we must keep moving forward with trust in God, knowing that joy will return. True peace is not the absence of hardships, but the presence of Christ in our lives. Guiding us through every season. 

Cydni: Can the challenge be to let other people struggle? No. Okay, can it be to give other people struggles? 

Sher: No, Sydney. 

Cydni: No. challenge this week Is to find purpose in your struggles and to change your prayers not to have them go away But to find understanding and to find strength to bear them.

Sher: That was much better. Thank you for fixing it This is our prayer 

Cydni: from Cydni [00:22:00] 

Sher: it's natural to experience that. It's natural. , I spit all over the microphone. 

Cydni: It's okay. That's what they do when they wrap. They like spit. Well, I just, you were like spit, spit. Yeah, I do. Yeah. Way to go. This is good. This is high quality content. There once was a man Okay. There's more. I'm just trying to remember. Hold on. 

Sher: I really like this story and I really like where it's going. I just don't know how he's an expert and didn't know that. But no, he wasn't an expert. Oh, he just like, no, just because he's a 

Cydni: man doesn't mean he's an expert. You said he was an expert. He liked them. I might have, you have it on record if I did, but I didn't mean to. He loved them. He did. This man did. Father Mike said that, you're calling me a liar right after you talked [00:23:00] about Jesus. 

Sher: No, I'm just , throwing a penalty flag. Nobody likes Moss like that, but continue. 

Cydni: I was going to ruin it with a different movie and then I had the impression I should just shut up for once and that's why I was like Because I listened. Good job. Thank you. Have a good 

Sher: week. Bye