The Helper's High

Ever wonder if there’s such a thing as a spiritual dopamine hit? In this episode, Cydni and Sher dive into the “Helper’s High” — that joyful lift that comes when you give, serve, and live generously. From Maasai warriors gifting cows after 9/11 to the Savior’s perfect example of giving, we talk about how generosity heals the heart and fills the soul. Add in a few Diet Coke-level laughs and some real talk about what it means to live with a merry heart — and you’ve got yourself a healthy dose of happiness (no prescription required).  This episode is "The Helper's High" and we are so glad you are here!

This Week's Challenge
This week, your challenge is to chase that Helper’s High—find one sincere way to give from the heart, no matter how small, and see how it lifts both you and someone else.

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Show Notes

Drip-Drip Drop, Words and  Music by  Matt Hoiland
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Transcript

Episode 135 - The Helper’s High

Cydni: [00:00:00] In your notes, I saw the phrase the helper's high. I think that's what we should do. I think it should be like today's sponsor is brought to you by the helper's High. If you want clearer eyes. And a bigger smile and better skin I just like the idea of the helper's high because it's as close as we could get as latter Day Saint Women is the helper's Heights, like how we cleave to the Diet Coke. But we could try to, you know, like what if there's something there with the helper's high, like, Hey, Sher, let's go get helper high together. Now that we can show our shoulders off, we could really put the shoulder to the wheel now 'cause you could see our shoulders and we're gonna go out there and we're gonna get helper high. 

Sher: another inspirational start. Cydni 

Cydni: thanks for joining us today on the Cydni and Sher podcast. We're gonna get so helper high.

Sher: Cydni. We are going to talk about gratitude and joy. And we are going to [00:01:00] start by talking about the joy in giving, or as Cydni likes to call it 

Cydni: the helper High. We're gonna talk about how to get high off of helping others. Even though this is really about giving and that, I'm just only saying helping, but you're helping someone when you're give, so it does work together, right? Absolutely.

Sher: All right. Cydni I used to teach geography back in the day and I loved it. I Taught it for over 15 years and I really enjoyed it. And one of my very favorite things about teaching geography was. Learning with my students about different cultures, and one of my students' very favorite cultures to learn about was the Maasai tribe. And I think we all kind of recognize them. They're known for being tall and they usually wear red patterns, they live in Kenya, Tanzania area. They don't have a lot of material things like people in general do in the United States.

Their economy and wealth is based on cattle, sheep, goats, and the boys. Are the warriors in their tribe, and as they [00:02:00] grow into men or elders, they become herders and they're expected to herd sheep and goats and cattle. And this is how they can get their dowry to buy their wife, is they need to be basically a herder. They need to get their herds going so that they can provide for their wife and their family. They have to get that dowry so they can buy a wife from the wife's family. 

Cydni: Which is exactly how I got Ben. I was more of the warrior type and my dad had pigs and so I went out and herded the pigs and I collected their milk. Their milk. Does that show you how I actually didn't do any of this. Mm-hmm. Anyway. Ben was a 12 pig husband. I had to give his parents 12 pigs to have him, was that a one-time payment or is that like once a year? 12 pigs. It was just once they were like, if you're willing to marry Ben, which I was like, of course. Then it was just a one time payment of 12 pigs that I had to steal from my father, who was [00:03:00] like, get away from our tribe. Anyway, so same thing, and Ben is worth way more than 12 pigs. Aw, way more Ben. He'll be way more than 12 pigs. 

Sher: He's so happy right now. Well, the reason I am telling this story, is because I wanted you to know like pigs mean a lot to you and your family cows mean a lot to this tribe. And again, herding is their wealth.

One of the quotes I found that a Messiah elder, said is to the Messiah, cows are life. So this is everything to them. Remember we're talking about the joy in giving, right? this brings me to the whole point of the story is on September 11th, 2001, a Maasai tribal member was in the United States when the terrorist attack happened. When he got home, he told his tribe what had happened in the United States of America. And his tribe said, this is a quote from him. What can we do to help those poor people? the elders all gathered together. And one of the elders said to heal a [00:04:00] sorrowing heart, give something that is dear to your own.

And so this wonderful Messiah tribe decided to give 14 of their very best cows to the United States of America. Now talk about the widow's might. They gave their very best to a country that as a whole has so much, and I want to focus today , on to heal a sorrowing heart. Give something that is dear to your own.

This quote made me think about times that I have been the receiver and times that I have been the giver. And when we share our talents or material things that we have, it does fill your heart with joy.

And here's something though that I had never thought about until I was studying this topic. And maybe it's because we recently talked about how wonderful nature is and how beautiful the earth is, I started thinking about all the things that God has given all of his children, including this earth, our life. Agency. His Son and had this thought, come [00:05:00] to me.

Our Heavenly Father and Jesus are the perfect gift givers. The gifts they have given us are dear to their hearts. I don't know if I've ever thought of gift giving from God in that way. He is teaching us how to give to the core. This is dear to his heart. Our Heavenly Father and our Savior are perfect, and when they give us a gift, it is sincerely from their heart and they mean it.

And when we do the same, this is why it brings so much joy to our hearts, is we are giving and acting in the same way as our Savior and our Heavenly Father. We are healing a sorrowing heart by something that is dear to our own, that's what our. Heavenly father and our Savior do, they have taught us this with everything that they have given us. And when we act the same way, we also can have our hearts healed and be full of joy. 

Cydni: I like where you went with that. Thinking about our Heavenly Father and the gifts that he gives, because I was thinking of Jesus Christ [00:06:00] and our Heavenly Father, and I thought to myself, what gifts do they give? And then I was specifically thinking about Christ's life on earth, and I thought, is he not just the greatest? Gift giver of the greatest gifts, and I just wrote down a quick little list of things that he gave to us, and here's what came to my mind. He gave sight to the blind. He gave wholeness to the broken. He gave peace to those who could not be comforted. He gave bread to thousands. He gave conversation to the lonely, forgiveness to the sinner. Life to the dead. Hope to the hopeless health to the sick. Strength to the weary. Healing to the broken hearted wisdom, to the wandering and sound to the deaf. These just came to mind.

I was standing in a long line and I was just writing them down as they came, and I really want to challenge myself to spend more time thinking about. The greatest gifts that Christ gave [00:07:00] us is the example of how to give. Everything he gave was something someone needed . And it was a very personal gift to their needs, and it's because Christ was so aware of everyone who was around him, and he first had so much love for them that he could recognize their need and he was willing to give.

Sher: I love that list. And that is something that's so good to think about. It is overwhelming when you think about all the gifts that our Savior and our Heavenly Father have given us., The list is never ending. It just goes on and on and on. And they're all, like you said they're sincere gifts. Little miracles. Tender mercies that have happened in our lives where you can fill or literally see God's hand in how things have worked out, and all of these gifts are so personal to each of us just as individuals, just like you said. That was perfect. 

Cydni: it's been said that if Christ's whole life was actually written. There would be so much information that nobody would be able to read about it in their lifetime. And what I [00:08:00] just listed. That's just from, I was thinking about Matthew, the book of Matthew, and all of these came to mind, but what about my individual life? The miracles that nobody else would understand. What it would mean to me to have this happen and this happened. And then your life at individual life. Long, long, long, long life. Thanks, Cydni you're welcome of miracles. One after the other for both of us truly. That's just in our own personal life. We could probably write a book of miracles we've seen, not to mention. Every single person is loved by our Savior. 

Sher: Right? And I think that's what makes the Atonement so incomprehensible is because did this for every individual, every person on this earth. And it wasn't just a big group collection of things, it was an individual, each person atonement talk about a wonderful and never ending gift. A gift that we will [00:09:00] never, ever be able to repay, 

Cydni: right? It's the one woman who reached out to touch his garment and he knew and he healed her. This is why I believe we can get high off of this. 

Sher: What in the crap are you talking about? You lost me. You were on a roll and now I have no idea what you're talking about. 

Cydni: Sorry, I have demons. Last week it was, we can be an ass and see an angel this week. We could be helper high. It's my midlife crisis, I think, but I'm handling it fine. Yeah. 

Sher: Okay, Cydni we're gonna move on in Acts chapter 20, verse 35. It says, remember the words of the Lord Jesus. How he said it is more blessed to give than to receive. There's been a lot of studies done that have been linked to random acts of kindness, releasing dopamine in your brain, which is a chemical that can give us a feeling of your euphoria. From the study that I read on the Science of Kindness, it said that this feelgood brain chemical is credited with causing what's known as a helper's [00:10:00] high, which is what Cydni has latched onto and will never let go of.

Correct. In addition to boosting dopamine, it also boosts oxytocin. And also it increases serotonin as well. And serotonin is a neurotransmitter that helps regulate your mood. And studies have found further that, and this is a quote, a single act of kindness isn't going to carry you through several days or even hours. Biochemically, you can't live on the three to four minute oxytocin boost that comes from a single act. That's why kindness is more beneficial as a practice. Something we work into our daily routine, whether in the form of volunteer work, dropping coins into an expired parking meter, bringing a snack to share with your office mates, or holding the elevator for someone being generous and kind leads to us feeling physically and mentally better. The phrase that I read over and over again [00:11:00] throughout the Science of Kindness website was this, the idea of generous living instead of occasional giving. And this is what will give you the helper's high is if you take on the attitude of generous living.

Cydni: Okay, well, when I first read this quote, I actually read it wrong, and it's kind of cracking me up because I read that if you did one thing, it could carry you for three to four days and it says that it won't. So you have to do it as a practice. 

Sher: Yes. You've just been working on the once every other week. Yeah. I was like, 

Cydni: what? We only have to do something nice every three to four days and we could be happier. That's easy. And now it's just blown in my head. Like I'm coming down from my helper's high right now. There's the crush. 

Sher: It's okay. We have some caffeine for you. You're fine. 

Cydni: On Sunday, we actually talked about service a little bit in the beginning of the lesson. And a grandma shared that she had her grandson with her and they were going to a [00:12:00] store and he picked up a little piece of trash that someone had not thrown away, and he threw it away and threw a grocery store, he put like an apple back up that had fallen and he closed an egg carton. And when he got in the car, he was like, grandma. I feel so good right now. And I thought that's kind of funny 'cause he was six and getting helpers high so we could all do better. , 

Sher: We can. 

Cydni: That's a young age to start.

Sher: It is a young age to start, but probably for the best. If you wanted to make it a practice of generous living and you wanna be addicted to the helper's high. Exactly. And the 6-year-old is well along on that path. 

Cydni: Good for him? 

Sher: In Proverbs chapter 15 verses 14 through 15, it says, the mouth of fools feedeth on foolishness. All the days of the afflicted are evil, but he that is of a merry heart has a continual feast. Now, I like the scripture because it talks about food, which I really enjoy, but it also explains why it's important to have a merry heart so that we can have a continual feast. [00:13:00] And to me, having a merry heart means that I'm gonna show gratitude. I'm gonna be thankful, and I'm gonna be generous because I wanna be able to have that. Helper's high, which makes your heart marry and makes you hungry get the munchies I've heard., You get a continual feast. Yes. You get a feast on generosity. Gratitude and thankfulness. Doesn't that sound yummy? 

Cydni: Yeah. You're just like, oh my gosh, my helper's high is so crazy. Let's go munch on. Gratitude and generosity. I'm crazy right now.

Sher: Always living on the edge. We are all of this though it's getting all of the right chemicals activated in our body that does help us have a merry heart. This really is telling us how to have a happier life and it works.

 Winston Churchill said, we make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give. And I know I've mentioned this before, but one of the happiest people that I have ever met in my entire life was my grandpa. [00:14:00] I loved being with my grandpa because he always made you feel so good about yourself.

It didn't matter who it was. Everyone loved being around my grandpa. He always made Everyone feel so good about themselves and like they were special. He just had that gift and that talent.

My grandpa and my grandma were not wealthy at all. They were very poor and they had a, shoe rotation list. They'd save up their money and every so often they would buy a new pair of shoes for the kid that was next in line. Now there were eight kids, plus the parents and everyone was in line.

So however long it took to buy the pair of shoes, kid one would get it. They'd go through all eight and then get to grandpa and grandma. my grandpa who worked on the railroad, finally it was his turn. And he had an old pair of boots that had holes in them, and it was finally his turn to get new boots.

So he got his new work boots and he was very excited about it. And then he went to work and he noticed that there was a man who didn't [00:15:00] have any boots. So my grandpa took off his boots and gave him the brand new boots and put on his old ones. This story has been told over and over again in our family as an example of what it means to give, he made his entire life about what he gave material things weren't important to him. Family was important to him. Being kind was important to him. Having a merry heart was important to him. That's what he built his life on. And that's an example, that was set for me that I can follow. I'm not anywhere close to him, but I love that he set that example for our family of truly what can make you happy in your life. 

Cydni: In preparation for this, I did ask myself what is the best gift I have ever been given and how did I feel? And the first thing that came to mind is Ana and Titus, they went to an arcade together and Ana ran back into the car and she handed me a yellow Laffy Taffy, which is my [00:16:00] favorite candy.

And my heart just swelled because it was just a tiny little piece of candy. But the fact that she had thought of me, she knew it was my favorite and used her tickets, just really warmed my heart. And I thought, that's interesting. That came to mind first because it's such a small act, but it's from someone I know who loves me, someone who knows that I like something.

And she used her own time on the arcade machine to get me that piece of candy, which I thought was super cool. Also, recently, my youngest brother came out to visit with his wife, and we sat around and played Catan. Have you played that? Yeah. Does it cause family fights 

I

Sher: haven't played it in years. I played it when it first came out, and I don't remember.

Cydni: I personally tell my children that the C actually makes an S sound. So it's Satan, because we fight and all of us, we like throw punches with that game. And we did while he was there with his wife too. But apparently it was fun enough because my brother gave me one of the best gifts I've ever received in my life and [00:17:00] he handcrafted a homemade catan board game for us, and his wife painted every piece. Wow. It is the most beautiful gift I have ever received, possibly in my life. I could not stop staring at it. We've had it out on the table for months and it meant so much to me that One that he recognized how much we loved the game, but two, he sat and fought with us and still gave us a gift, which was reassuring that he'd visit again. 

Sher: I love gifts like that. It reminds me, my brothers have given me some amazing gifts that they've also handmade, and I love that they are so talented and can craft such beautiful works of art. I have none of that talent and so I'm always grateful when they share their talent with me and they've given me absolutely. Beautiful gifts. But I do wanna say when you were talking about Ana giving you candy, I thought about my students they have literally nothing Cydni they have no money, and somehow have managed to come up with buying me a history book that [00:18:00] they knew I would really like, where on earth they got the money. I don't wanna know. But I know that they got it and it was sincere and they gave it to me and they'd write a little note in it.

Like those are some of the most touching gifts because you know, they're from the heart when they're handcrafted from my brothers or when they're from. One of my students who I know has absolutely nothing but thought enough to give me a gift that they knew I would love, even though I know that was really hard on them because they did not have the financial resources to do that.

Cydni: I'm glad you brought that up because it's a really important point to make that sometimes you feel like you don't have anything to give and so you don't give. And again, in church, I have to say that one of my friends was talking about how difficult it is for her to give because she second guess, is it like, does that person really want that?

Am I even qualified to do that? And she just goes through this list of reasons why not to do something, which I feel is very relatable. But she said that her husband never second guesses it if he sees [00:19:00] someone in need and he will be the one to see someone in need.

He just acts. He just trusts that he can do something or find the right person to help, and he just goes and he does it. And I really appreciated that example, and it just put in me a desire to be better about that. And I feel like there's been times in my life I've been all about praying how to help somebody or what can I do that day?

But we get so busy that we forget, and then sometimes we feel like we have nothing to give. Which reminds me also of , our friend Shelly, shared a story a couple years ago, I feel like it was maybe two years ago, and I think about it. All the time. I think about it almost every time I hold a pencil, she teaches English to immigrant children in middle school, and she said she had mentioned that she needed pencils or that the kids were always taking her pencils and she was just jokingly saying it, but probably a little serious too.

But she said that one of the students took it quite serious and he started collecting every pencil he found in [00:20:00] any classroom on the floor of the halls outside. And a few weeks later. This young immigrant child had a gift for Shelly and he gave her over 70 pencils that he had found somewhere broken, somewhere an inch big. And this kid also at same school that you worked at.

Didn't have anything to give, but he saw a need and he acted and she said there's a chance he thieve a few of those pencils. But that aside, I just love this idea of this young middle school boy who saw a need, who heard it, and Shelly is a teacher that someone would want to do something nice for because she's so loving and giving and she just really deserved those pencils even if they were stolen.

I agree. Because she's a phenomenal teacher. Phenomenal. I mean, they don't really understand what she's saying so there could be some room for error there too. Maybe the kid was just seeking a helpers high. Yeah, maybe that's really what it was about.

The example that the young boy set for me is the reminder that even if you feel like you don't have something to give, [00:21:00] there is a way for you to give. And we think of Jesus who had no home of his own, but how much he gave as we've discussed, and we challenge you this week to get out there and get as high as you can off of helping. Amen. I was waiting for that. Amen. It 

Sher: just feels right sometimes. this brings us to our final thoughts. When we give from the heart, whether it's our time, our talents, or something that really matters to us, we're actually reflecting the nature of God. Like the Messiah story and how they gave their very best to heal a sorrowing heart. That's what real generosity looks like. It's not just about occasional giving. It's about living generously every day, and that's where the joy comes from. When we live with gratitude and a giving heart, it's like having a continual feast of happiness. It fills us, lifts us, and connects us to our Savior who [00:22:00] gave all of us everything He has. This is our prayer from Cydni and Sher 

Cydni: when I was standing in line, this thought came to me, so I didn't think it out entirely. 'cause then it was my turn. So let me give a shot at this, okay? when we went. Just kidding. I got this. I could do this. I'm empowered. You have it. I got this one more time. Okay. Nobody's gonna look it up. You can say whatever you want.

Sher: I won't move my hands. I'm sorry. Hold still. Okay. I'm holding still. Okay. 

Cydni: She said about blah, blah, blah.

Sher: I will say that we know that's not true. I know that isn't true. Liar. Have a good week. Bye.