Teach with Grace and a Backbone

In this episode, Cydni and Sher discuss God’s command to teach our children and what that really looks like in real life — shower curtains, messy days, and all. Drawing from Elder Taniela B. Wakolo’s talk “God Loves His Children,” they explore three ways God parents us: through relationships, through prophets, and through loving correction. They talk honestly about grace, consequences, guilt versus shame, and the importance of co-parenting with God. Ultimately, they remind us that we teach best when we love first, point children to the Savior, and trust God with the rest.  This episode is "Teach with Grace and a Backbone" and we are so glad you are here! 

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Show Notes

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Transcript

Teach with Grace and a Backbone

Cydni: [00:00:00] I do find it fitting that we're talking about parenting because, just the way this week has gone as I've studied, is I'm trying to get caught up on chores and in my ear is a beautiful talk about how to parent like God, but coming outta my mouth, I'm like, what are you doing right now? I do not understand what is happening. Even this morning my daughter had to get in the bath, which she's in a phase that she hates hygiene.

Sher: That's never good. 

Cydni: I said Phase with hope, and I said she had to get in the tub she finally did. But suddenly the door to our bathroom opens, and guess what came flying out? Our shower curtain. What? and I really was listening to someone talk about parenting like God. And I thought to myself, what would God do in this moment? What would he do in that moment?

Sher: What did you do? 

Cydni: I was like, what the freaking heck? And I'm like, what are you doing? And she said it was wet. 

Sher: So she threw it out? 

Cydni: She took it down and threw it out. [00:01:00] And she kept her french braid in the whole time and, shampooed and conditioned over it. 

Sher: No, she did not. Yes. 

Cydni: So again, I was like, okay, God, what would you do? How would you parent this? But then I thought to myself, how does he parent me? When I reflected on the things I have done, I guess he would parent with grace. So we just re braided the hair and we're good.

Sher: Look at you. 

 Cydni: Welcome to the Cydni and Sher Podcast. 

Sher: Okay. Cydni, today we're gonna talk about that God has commanded us to teach our children. And we wanna talk about why this matters. So last week we talked about our divine identity and that we belong to God. We are his literal sons and daughters, just like our Heavenly Parents taught us, God wants us to do the same. He wants us to pay it forward and we are commanded to teach our children who they belong to and teach them the gospel Cydni. This is a very big job I feel I don't really have to worry about it. I don't have any kids, so if this is your [00:02:00] problem, 

Cydni: no. Listen, and everyone should know I have adopted Sher. She is my mom, and sometimes I'm like, I really need advice. And I've realized that lately when I actually need advice and counsel and wisdom from someone I trust, it's you. I'm like, 

Sher: she's scraping the bottom of the barrel. 

Cydni: Yeah. I have no other option. 

Sher: That's all she has. 

Cydni: My first mom blocked me. And we'll see what happens here. 

Sher: So as I was saying though, parenting is a very big job and I thought that all parents could use a really good example of how to parent and who better to get advice from. Then our Heavenly Father. And how does God parent us? I read a talk by Elder Wakolo and it's called God Loves His Children. And in it he gives three specific ways that our Heavenly Father manifest his love for us, His children. So I just thought that following our Heavenly Father's example might be a smart way to go about all of this

Cydni: I [00:03:00] think it is a smart way, but I also feel like it's a massive gap. You know, like it's huge shoes to fill, I think that's the most important thing is we're not supposed to fill the shoes, we're just supposed to follow the steps.

Sher: Correct. 

Cydni: But it's just like a massive gap 

Sher: And Elder Wakolo, he only gives three. Suggestions and there's probably like a hundred million. If we really wanted to follow God exactly, but I thought three was a good place to start. 

Cydni: As long as the first one's like drink Diet Coke,

Sher: It is.

Cydni: Okay, good. You

Sher: figured it out. 

Cydni: Oh my gosh. Did I receive Revelation right 

Sher: now? You did. That's the first one. Elder Wakolo says have lots of Diet Coke ready, 

Cydni: but the one with caffeine, I've seen those golden cans that say caffeine free, 

Sher: right? Anyway, back to the point. The three things that Elder Wakolo suggests are. Relationships with God and family manifest his love. Second, he manifest his love to his children by calling Prophets. And third Chastening can be a manifestation of God's love for his [00:04:00] children. 

Cydni: I really focus on that one in our home. Can we talk about the shower curtain that's in the hallway now? Can we just like, have a family discussion please?

Sher: So let's start with the first one. Relationships with God and family. Manifest his love. Elder Wakolo said. Our most valuable relationships are with the Father and the Son, and with our own families because our ties to them are eternal. The great plan of happiness is a wonderful manifestation of God's love for us. Cydni, recently we have gone over the meeting in heaven where God presented the plan of happiness, and this plan is the manifestation of God's love for us. His joy comes from creating us. And creating for us. And then sharing all that he has all that he has built, all that he has created.

He wants to share that with us eternally. And then our Savior agreed to this plan and he followed the will of the Father and suffered and [00:05:00] sacrificed Himself for all of us. And this plan makes it possible for all of us to be with. Our families and each other eternally. So in order to live eternally with our Father in Heaven and our Savior, it is our job.

To build strong relationships with them. Both want to build the relationship, but they're not gonna force it, and they're waiting and wanting us to return the love they freely give. So from what I learned from this, this is one of the steps. It's like the template for teaching children is to love them first, even when they don't return it by throwing a shower curtain at you.

Cydni: Okay. But she didn't throw it at me. 

Sher: I was trying to embellish it to make it sound better. 

Cydni: I'm gonna embellish it later when I retell the story to her. In front of her father, like, and then she threw the curtain at me and the rod. He'll be like my sweet little daughter. Come here. What could I buy you? Do you need some chocolate and carbs? 

Sher: He must be a district administrator. So Cydni I [00:06:00] wanna tell you two things that I had. It's a secret that nobody knew, 

Cydni: okay? 

Sher: That I had hanging in my. Closet at school. 

Cydni: a Justin Bieber? No. Vanilla Ice. poster and a 

Sher: MC hammer. 

Cydni: An mc hammer look like pants, 

Sher: right. 

Cydni: no secret. It's all through you on that one.

Sher: Actually I had john chapter four, verse 19, where it says, we love him because he first loved us. So from this, I learned as a teacher that if I show love and respect first, the chances increase that my students would love and respect me back, and I would read this over and over again on crappy days that it was my job to show the love and respect first, and then hopefully. It didn't work all the time. I would receive that same love and respect back. And then one more that I would read on Crappy Days by Edwin Markham. This is a short poem. It says he drew a circle that shut me out. Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout, but love and I had a wit to win. [00:07:00] We drew a circle that took him in and I knew that it was my job. As a teacher to show my students that I respected them and cared about them first. And my job was also to draw that circle nice and big, to include my students in my circle. And again, usually I did receive that love back, but occasionally I ran into a few bumps that will probably go down in infamy. But we need to do everything that we can to build solid relationships with children in your life and love them and show them that you care about them. Now, I know I don't have kids, but can still help and support parents, and I can still love the kids around me and in my life.

And just one more thing that I thought of when you build a relationship with God, you are building a partnership with him and he will help you in your life. So if you partner with him, he will help you teach your children and he's going to give you the words to say and the actions that you need to take. He will be your [00:08:00] companion in all of this. So that is a good backup plan knowing that God has your back. And honestly, I have never felt the spirit stronger in my life sometimes I was teaching. The words would just come to me that I would know exactly what I needed to say at that moment.

Now, 95% of the time, I don't know why I said it. I have no idea. I just know that someone in my classroom needed to hear it that day, and I hope that the message was received for whoever needed to hear that because it wasn't from me, it was from my Father in Heaven. 

Cydni: First off, I wanna say that quote you shared is now one my favorites. You shared it a few years ago the one withdrawing a circle and took him in. It's a beautiful quote. So thanks for sharing that again. 

Sher: I love it. Obviously I had it secretly hanging in my closet for 30 years. 

Cydni: You're very scandalous. 

Sher: I am. That's how I roll. In public schools, I have things like that in scriptures hanging in my closet. Oh boy. I also had a picture of Christ. 

Cydni: Oh my gosh. 

Sher: I know. 

Cydni: So you really connected with the heretic rebel part? 

Sher: I [00:09:00] did. I did. I showed that public school. I went right behind their back and hung that picture of the Savior up. 

Cydni: I do love the idea of co-parenting with God. I've used that from the beginning, even with just my brothers as a sister, I just had a few experiences that really taught me that God loved them as much as he loved me, that helped me to know that first they were Gods, I really appreciate as a mom knowing that, because it does feel too big sometimes to know how to help somebody when you yourself are still a child trying to figure it out and getting by one caffeinated drink at a time. And so it's helpful to remember Whether it's the student or a child in your neighborhood or your own children, that first they're Gods and He's fully aware of them and what they need, I have had experiences that are similar to yours with my children that I don't know what to do, but then I just remember, hey. God, you're a co-parent here, if not the top parent obviously.

So maybe it's your [00:10:00] weekend, maybe it's custody time and you take them and I'm going to go do something else. So I will give you a hundred percent custody today 'cause I don't have this. But truly I have found times where the words come or. Say this or do this differently. And I remember sharing one simple one that I was always saying, love ya to my kids. And I had an overpowering impression to say, I love you and to make that less casual that during the development stage that they were in a casual love, ya was not what they needed. They needed a very confident I love you And God will help us to help His children like we talked about last week, put forth effort to have a testimony of our true identity, it will be impossible to not see those who you're around the same way. If I know I am a daughter of God, if I am a child of God, then so is this person that I'm now supposed to teach and love and I should treat them as such.

Sher: Cydni something you just [00:11:00] said reminded me I see this problem happen in education from time to time, but you one, recognize who your children are, who you are, who your children are, that we are children of God and ultimately they belong to him. We all belong to him, and our Heavenly Father didn't send us. To Earth on our own. He gave us a Savior. And ultimately that is who is going to save all of us, including your children and I have to speak from what I know when you are teaching a child that is homeless or has terrible parents or is in a terrible situation that you feel this urge to try to reach out and save them, but. You said something, you're the instrument to help that kid. You're there to help and try to get them going in the right direction, but you're not there to save them.

I cannot even tell you how many times I have gone home and prayed and said, I have done everything I can do to help this poor kid that has no one. I'm turning them over to you because I [00:12:00] know that my Savior is the one who will ultimately save that person, and I think that is something that is really hard to remember. I'm assuming, especially with your own kids, that no matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, ultimately. they need to choose the Savior and He will be the one to save them. 

Cydni: Okay. As I was walking out of the house, I remembered I had listened to the sermon and I knew there was a quote in it that I loved. And so I actually was late because I was finding this, and I'm going to read it now. it's A sermon by Doug Wilson, and it's called Why Children Matter. And he says God saves his people. He doesn't suffocate his people. You are to be used as an instrument towards your children's salvation. You are not your children's salvation. You are not the gospel to your children, but you are the instrument that brings the gospel to your children. You are one of the means that brings your children into contact with the word of life. You are not the word of life, [00:13:00] but you are one of the instruments that God uses. We don't need Doug Wilson. No, we have Sher

Sher: That was just a lucky guess 

Cydni: isn't that wild? 

Sher: That is. 

Cydni: That's pretty cool. 

Sher: But it's true. And I probably have learned that the hard way because I know that when I first started teaching, I was probably a bit too idealistic and life kind of straightened you out a little bit. But I think that is an important lesson to learn. And plus, it sounds silly, but it kind of takes the pressure off you a little bit. You just gotta try your very best and then God has the rest. 

Cydni: It does take pressure off. I use it every day of my life to remember I'm not in this alone, that God's there too. And I am doing my best 50% of the time. I'm trying.

Before we move on to the second one, could I just say how interesting it is that in psychology and the study of parenting, they found across the board, no matter the parenting style, how critical those first few years are.

It doesn't matter what kind of parent you are, whether you're very assertive [00:14:00] or aggressive even, or maybe too gentle, they found that. If the beginning years you feel safe and secure and there's consistency that those children thrive as adults. What I was thinking is how Adam and Eve were put in a place the first years where they were safe and secure and they were very connected to God and they communed with him. It's so interesting that Adam and Eve's beginning is a representation of what our children's beginnings should be like, safe and secure and that we're so present. 

Sher: I really like that lesson that you can learn from that because God really does set the example and when you dive into the scriptures and you read how he parents us, it gives us a lot of hints of how we should be. Paying it forward, so to speak, to children in our lives. 

Cydni: Absolutely. And as we've studied, come follow me and a lot of Genesis this year so far, if you look at it as a handbook of how godparents [00:15:00] Adam and Eve, it really does thread together all of these ideas where you see how he did it and how we also are supposed to imitate it.

Sher: Easier said than done though, right? 

Cydni: Yes, ma'am. 

Sher: All right. Let's go on to the second point that Elder Wakolo made. He said he manifests his love to his children by calling prophets. Recently, the words of President Nelson have been a source of strength and inspiration to the people of the Philippines, as with every country in the world.

During 2020, the Philippines was severely affected by the COVID-19 pandemic, as well as a volcanic eruption, earthquakes, strong typhoons and devastating floods, but like a pillar of light shining through the dark clouds of fear. Loneliness and despair came the words of the prophet. They included the call for worldwide fasting and prayer and counsel to move forward. Despite the pandemic, he invited us to make our homes personal sanctuaries of faith. He called upon Latter Day Saints [00:16:00] everywhere to respect all of God's children and to let God prevail in our lives. Cydni I know that you know this, but I'm kind of a current event junkie. I like to know what's going on, and as things get crazier, I admit I start to worry and I start to stress out.

And whenever I do that, this is my opportunity to check myself I remind myself that I have a prophet. If I just listen to my prophet and I follow him, it's gonna be okay. It might not be the way I want it. It might not be perfect. It might not be ideal, but it's gonna be okay. God didn't send us to Earth without giving us help.

He gave us prophets and apostles and scriptures and the Holy Ghost. He gave us family and friends. He gave us a really good support system we owe it to the children in our lives to teach them this. They deserve the comfort and peace that God provides. I hope I don't go off base here [00:17:00] for a second, but I hope that we can all be the type of parent or adult.

In a child's life that provides the direction, comfort, and peace for kids. I was so blessed to have parents and neighbors and aunts and uncles and ward leaders that were there for me, they helped me in every way fill that comfort and peace and safety that you were just talking about.

We can all do this. We can all help our father's children find that peace that is so needed in the world today. 

Cydni: That resonates with me too, because when I was growing up, there were a lot of teachers and young women leaders and primary teachers who really did give me such a place of safety and peace outside of my home. I feel grateful for that, and I feel a call that no matter whose child is with me, I want them to feel that way because people who were not my mother, they provided such love for me and I carry that to this day.

Sher: One of the biggest things in a classroom is, that it doesn't matter how great of a teacher you are, they're [00:18:00] not gonna remember one word I said but they're always gonna remember how they felt. The actual classroom. And that's something that we can always provide. Whether you're a primary teacher or an aunt or an uncle or a parent, it doesn't matter. You you can always have a place of refuge for children in your life. 

Cydni: I also like that you said following the prophet, it will be okay. Not perfect. There's a lot of examples in the scriptures about that and some modern ones too, where people did follow the prophet and it did not go the way they anticipated.

I'm pretty sure once the children of Israel were finally free, that wandering in the wilderness did not seem like a great plan. And they did murmur and they weren't happy. That's going to happen still. But I like what you said, and I do have a testimony of it that sometimes it doesn't turn out the way you think.

But it will be okay and there will be lessons. And God has a lot to work with if you're obedient in that way, and he can bless your life in a way you wouldn't expect. And to relate it to Adam and Eve again, [00:19:00] once they were out of the garden, they were sent heavenly messengers to direct them.

And so we see again that this is eternal truth. And this actually reminds me of Terrell Givens 'cause he talks about this. How a lot of people think that living the gospel is going to make your life perfect and everything's gonna be easy breezy.

And once you get out of the garden, you realize. Things are not that way. And he says this, our sins as saints is in thinking such an endeavor would be anything but wrenching and costly. Inconceivably difficult and unimaginably painful. We do not become little Christ by a couple of well spent hours ministering to our family and abstaining from some coffee and tea.

I really love this idea because he talks about how we have as Latter Day Saints such a great idea of Eve as a courageous woman who made the decision knowing the consequences, but that sometimes we just forget that what we [00:20:00] have signed up for is very difficult, and I think it will lead into the next topic because we have to let our children suffer.

Adam and Eve had to go through the next step. After they're secure and safe and consistent environment, it changes. It is desert time, it's sacrifice time. It's work by the sweat of your brow time. And you really wanna take that away from your kids sometimes, but we have to understand what we're taking away by not letting them suffer, we then are going to be suffocating them. And that's. Detrimental. 

Sher: That was a perfect segue into the next one, Cydni which is Third Chastening, can be a manifestation of God's love for his children. Going back to Elder Wakolo, he said, when we recognize the chastening and we are willing recipients, it becomes a spiritual surgery. Who likes surgery, by the way. But to those who need it and are willing to receive it, it can be lifesaving. The Lord Chasins whom he [00:21:00] loves, the scriptures tell us so that chastening or spiritual surgery will bring about, needed changes in our lives. We will realize that it refines and purifies our inner vessels, I wanna tell you something from my educational experience, Cydni I'm telling you that at your school right now, they're not giving the students negative consequences like they used to when I first started teaching.

And you can say that's good or bad or whatever. And I hope that depending on what school you're in, that you do have some negative consequences. But when I first started teaching, my vice principal walked around with an index card in his pocket, and if a, , if a student did something, broke a rule, he would just pull out this index card and he would.

Say, this is the rule you broke, read the consequence and they would read it, and that was it. It was pretty simple. There was some gray when things happened, but pretty much if you broke a rule, there was a consequence.

Cydni: That's brilliant. I'm doing it in my house starting today. If you throw a shower curtain out, here's the clear [00:22:00] consequence. 

Sher: but now they've taken that index card and they've turned it into multiple pages of spreadsheets that just goes on and on and on, and it's worthless. No one can read all of it like it. Goes on forever, Cydni and students usually don't receive a negative consequence anymore. Instead, the administration helps them with excuses and then they get a granola bar and sent back to class with no consequences whatsoever. the reason I'm saying this is because that is setting students up for failure.

I cannot tell you how much it has broken my heart when you can see. The students running as fast as they can towards the edge of a cliff, and you can see they're gonna fall off it because the choices they're making they're getting closer and closer and closer to that cliff. And you go and you tell the office and you say, Hey, this is happening. Can you please, please, please give them a consequence unfortunately, I have seen too many times rather than saying, here's a [00:23:00] consequence to at least slow him down a little bit.

They get patted on the head, they get their excuses, they get their granola bar and push closer to the edge. And then my students end up, their first big consequence is they get arrested and I see them on the news. all of the teachers could see it, everyone could see it happening, but because of the way the education is set up, and I don't wanna blame it on my administrators 'cause it's a higher up problem.

There was no consequence, and the first consequence, they're getting hauled off to jail because they committed a crime that they probably can't come back from for quite a while. This has always been so heartbreaking to me, that negative consequence, what you learn from first touching a hot stove after somebody tells you not to do it, and then you do it and you get burned, teaches you quickly.

Don't do that again. We need those, for lack of a better word, like safeguard set up to encourage, to steer back to the right direction. One more thing. I had students really, this only happened [00:24:00] twice in my whole teaching career. So it's not like it's an epidemic here.

Okay. I had this specific parent that came in and she was adamant that her student deserved an A in my class. So I broke out all the grades and I said, This is what they earned. This is why this is what happened. And they gotta B plus that's fine. And she would not leave. She just sat there and kept saying, no, my son deserved an A. And I was like, okay, but your son didn't deserve an A. Your son deserves a b plus and this is why. No, my son deserves an A and I had this kid in ninth grade and she told me straight out, your grade is going to ruin his 4.0 grade point average.

And I said, my B plus in ninth grade is what's gonna do it. And she said, yes. And he was sitting there, I'm like, this is your son. This is the lesson you wanna teach your kid. Is that when he earns a B plus, you're gonna come in here and make me change it to an A. That's what you're teaching your kid right now. So he can't learn the lesson that he didn't do the work. He's gonna get a b plus. You're gonna come in and say, no, I want [00:25:00] him to have an a. And she said yes. And I said, great. And I said, not my problem. Gave the kid an A and the kid did not graduate from high school. 

Cydni: Oh, so what a story. I hope you're listening right now, woman. 

Sher: He, he dropped out. I'm sure he eventually got his GED or whatever, but Mom came in and saved them. We've talked about this. You have to let your kids fell. Now I wanna say this one thing. This does not mean that we do horrible things, i'm not saying consequence have to be mean. But when you touch a hot stove, there needs to be a consequence and all of us need to have this consequence in order to understand why we want to be good and why we should be good.

I don't like negative consequences when they happen to me. I hate them. In fact. But our Heavenly Father is going to allow us to have the negative consequences that we chose happen to us because he wants us to learn from them. He doesn't want us to wallow in them and beat ourselves up with them he wants us to [00:26:00] learn, repent, ask for forgiveness, and move forward. 

Cydni: Actually, I'm gonna take back my, oh. Because I was thinking of how many of those I have in my personal life as a parent and just person in general. 

Sher: All of us do. It's not just them, it's all of us. We're all there. We've all done that.

Cydni: Yeah, Because it really is very complicated because you do want to be there for your children and you wanna show up for them, but also you don't want to go too far to where if they make a mistake, they feel like they can't come back from it. And that is a very gentle juggle. It's hard that, I don't know if any of us really know how to go about it very smoothly. 

Sher: Well, and I'll admit sometimes I like some of my students better than others. I didn't want them to have a negative consequence. It's true. . 

Cydni: And as we try to figure out the dance of consequences and discipline, but also grace, there was a beautiful sentence that I believe it was actually the Doug Wilson gentleman from his sermon that he talked about. How much grace God has and how much [00:27:00] grace we should have. But grace has a backbone. So yes, be full of grace, but have a backbone for their good.

Sher: And that's so important to remember because thank goodness Heavenly Father gives us grace constantly. Thank goodness.

Cydni: And there are things like guilt is a very important thing if you have the proper amount of guilt understanding that you made a decision that has consequences. Guilt is there to help you change and make better choices.

But we have to remember also that there is the element of shame, and that's what Satan did. With Adam and Eve, he brought shame into it guilt is there to help us to make better choices. To be sorrowful for a bad decision and improve, but shame. It is different. It becomes part of you. Shame makes you feel like you are unworthy.

Not just an emotion, but a core value. That I am unworthy. I have gone too far and I can't come back [00:28:00] from this. This is Satan telling Adam and Eve to hide. we have to somehow figure out how to balance this. And I will tell you a strong testimony I have that I cannot do that without God. I do not know how to balance, yes, change, but not too far to where they feel this deep shame that is going to take a lifetime to unpack and fix.

Sher: , I agree with you. I don't know how to do that either without a lot of prayer and help. 'cause it's hard. One little mistake and you do wanna beat yourself up because you are ashamed and then it spirals, 

Cydni: right? And we have to remember the grace that God gives us and the grace that he gave. Adam and Eve, yes, you broke the commandment, but here's what we're going to do. We're going to provide a Savior for you. It's all part of the plan. This has been accounted for. You will have consequences, but I am not going to leave you alone and you do not need to hide. Come closer to me.

That is the spirit in which we're supposed to try to do this, and it reminds [00:29:00] me of Neely Maxwell when he talks about gospel living and family units. He says you will also see that the living of one protective principle of the gospel is better than a thousand compensatory government programs. Which programs are so often like straightening the deck chairs on the Titanic.

So like you said, it's not a certain administrative's problem. This is a culture. This is forgetting to have a man and a woman who love each other and take the commitment of marriage seriously.

Communities who work together, it starts in the home and then it builds in the community and it takes off in either direction. If we're failing in a family unit, we're failing at a state level and a country level. But I feel like we have to remind ourself of the great hope that is there. And I also loved that Neely Maxwell said this, that we should make course corrections and we should bandage up the leaks, but we should not abandon the ship.

And just as Adam and Eve committed a sin [00:30:00] and had to deal with the consequences, they never abandoned the ship. We move forward, we take what we learn and we call that wisdom and experience, and it hopefully strengthens our testimony. And that is what we hope we instill in our children is we might make mistakes. You will make mistakes. Bad things are going to happen, even if you're a good person. And even if you follow the prophet, things are not gonna go the way that you think, but God is there with you and I am here with you and I love you, and let's just start with us.

Sher: That's great advice. also we just wanna remind everyone that all of the best laid plans. Can change based upon individual choices. Our Heavenly Parents are the perfect parents. And look at their kids. Look at me and Cydni for goodness sakes. I mean, talk about two disappointments. So Adam and Eve. they were great parents. They had an awesome teacher helping them. And look at Cain and Abel. They had their own individual choices that they made, and we could go all through the scriptures and in our [00:31:00] own lives of examples of this, because choice, agency, righteousness, rebelliousness, good, bad.

It all started before we came to Earth. Look at what Satan did. In the presence of the Father, before we even came to Earth, our first parents had to deal with it. Kind of like we're trying to deal with it now and all we can do is do our best and then leave the rest to God.

Cydni: I actually love looking at scripture stories for that. I'm like, you know, I'm having a bad day. Yana didn't wash her hair properly, but Eve's son killed the other son. So I'm not alone. 

Sher: No, you're not. 

Cydni: This week we have a challenge for you. There is a youth in your life. Maybe it's your own child, maybe it's someone in your church, and maybe it's someone in your neighborhood or at your school. There is a youth who needs a little bit of extra love and you are the person to give it. We challenge you to find someone, a little one growing up around you who needs to be ministered to and do something extra special for that [00:32:00] person to help them feel loved. 

Sher: This brings us to our final thoughts. Teaching our children who they belong to really starts with following the example of our perfect heavenly parent. God loves his children and he shows that love through relationships, prophets, and even through correction. He loves first. He gives guidance, he allows growth through choices, and that's our template. Love the kids in your life. First, build real relationships with them. Point them to the Savior, and don't be afraid of loving correction when it's needed. And remember, you're not doing this alone. When you build a relationship with God, you're building a partnership with him. He'll help you find the words, the patience and the courage to teach. Do your best, love deeply, and then trust God with the rest. This is our prayer 

Cydni: from Cydni and Sher and amen to that Heaven help us.

 [00:33:00] apostle was asked, how often does your family pray? And he said, we try to do twice a day, but really we do like once a day. And he said, okay, you're gonna need to do more than that. And I was like, oh my gosh, I hope heaven help me.

15 times a day is gonna be good for my family. 'cause that's where we're at. 

Sher: I think that's fair. I think that's where we're all at. 

Cydni: Heaven. Help me. Are you ready for all now? High five. Yeah. Yes, mama. Share. 

Sher: Shut up. 

Cydni: it, I'm stuttering today. 

Sher: I have something I wanna say, but now I just forgot what you said. Okay, got it. Got it. I'll read it like that. I get it now. 

Cydni: If there's someone, this is good. I've never done this before. Sorry. You'll also see that living one. Of one. What? Sorry? You did this too. I understand. I did. Mm-hmm. 

Sher: Thanks for joining us. 

Cydni: We're so glad you're here.