The Struggles of Balancing Independence in Love

Have you ever felt the tug-of-war between generosity and financial responsibility, especially when dating or socializing? Join me, Leslie, and my insightful guest, Nia, as we unpack the real-life struggles around generosity, from footing the bill for friends to the never-ending saga of car maintenance expenses. We dive into the heart of relationship dynamics, weighing the scales between independence and codependency and the absolute necessity of nurturing a social life beyond your romantic partner.

Can you remember a time when you or someone you know became a chameleon in a relationship, blending into what their partner wanted? Nia and I tackle the thorny issue of identity loss within romantic entanglements, sharing our thoughts on how this can erode self-worth and impact long-term compatibility. Sprinkled with humor, we also recount the social faux pas of overdoing makeup and the often hilarious yet telling consequences it brings to our social interactions.

Navigating the labyrinth of relationship boundaries and commitment is no small feat. From the awkwardness of secondhand embarrassment to the moral debates surrounding OnlyFans, Nia and I leave no stone unturned. We explore the treacherous waters of transitioning from casual "situationships" to official partnerships, the delicate art of taking breaks, and why setting personal boundaries is a game-changer. Tune in for a thought-provoking and candid discussion on the rollercoaster ride that is modern love and relationships.

Transcript

Relationships, Independence, and Self-Reflection

Speaker 1 0:00

Lenny , how much time ?

Speaker 2 0:02

Oh my gosh , you're already alone .

Speaker 1 0:04

No , I'm just like , but Just about . But Let me see , but this is Prime Example Podcast . I'm your host , leslie . This is my guest , nea Hi .

Speaker 2 0:21

I'm not sure how to say hi , oh , you're good . Hold on For them . Yeah , I'm not sure how to say hi for them . Yeah , they pay for you . No , because I feel bad . It was like it was kind of like a double date type of setup , like I was with everybody , no , no , no , no , no . So I was with my bestie and her boyfriend and then I was with her boyfriend's friend . Basically he didn't have no money .

Speaker 1 0:46

And you know me , I'll be feeling bad and I'll be like money comes and go , your best friend and the guy she brought didn't have money , or uh , oh , my , I'm I just be a sucker sometimes , most of the time , all the time no , you're just really nice .

Speaker 2 1:06

I am . I just when I think of money , I just always think of it , just it'll come and go . You know , when I really need it it'll come for me no , I get that honestly .

Speaker 1 1:16

I do believe in that and I feel like that's why I kind of was upset that I have to spend this much money to fix my car . But then I'm like if it's fixed , I don't have to worry about it again last me a couple hopefully a year again , because , yeah , but I had it for like three years and that's .

Speaker 1 1:30

I feel like after three years , something's bad's gonna go with your car just because you had it for so long and you never had like a drastic like change . I get the new tires and , like you know , the stuff that you usually need , but for something like metal and other shit like you need to replace , yeah , that's gonna happen yeah , eventually you're gonna have to pay for all that extra stuff , all the maintenance .

Speaker 2 1:47

I hate having a car too . This is really reason why I want a man . I want a man that drives and wants to drive me all the time yes , I want a man . I take care of people too much .

Speaker 1 2:01

I hate it so much so do you think okay , so would you consider yourself more as like an independent woman , more so than like uh , what are those ? Like ?

Speaker 2 2:10

very feminine like codependent in a way . Yeah , I'm very independent . I'll much rather pay for my own stuff than , uh , have somebody else try to pay for it , because then I feel like like I owe them something . You know I mean , yeah , but I hate when I say that something . You know what I mean ? Yeah , but I hate when I say that , because when I do it for somebody else , I don't feel that type of way .

Speaker 1 2:30

Yeah , it's just because I feel like the tension towards other people is like a lack of trust issues within them , like they're not going to blame you for where they're at . You know what I mean . I feel like that makes sense because I feel like most of the time when my mom or when I was younger , she'd be like , oh no , you can't get it , and then next thing you know she's throwing it in my face later on in the day .

Speaker 2 2:47

I'm like yeah , I wouldn't do that Like at that point I could have got it myself . Exactly that's exactly the reason why I always prefer to pay for my own stuff , unless , like I know , that person won't care . Like you , you know they're actually doing it from the kindness of their heart so how do you know , like , when can you trust somebody ?

Speaker 1 3:07

like what are like the ? What are symptoms ? Not symptoms like you're sick and stuff or mentally ill . No , like um , you see yourself doing things like , say , when you like somebody , you see yourself doing things differently , more so than when you're not with someone . You're more like lenient , like you don't care , but you find yourself caring a little bit more . I , I'm .

Speaker 2 3:33

I'm a very gullible person , so you could I feel like you could easily trick me in a way , so like , if you like , show me a lot of attention and , like you know , try to communicate with me more than I do with you , then that will get me attached very quickly in a way . Yeah , that's the reason I tend to try to stay to myself , because then I know how crazy I can get when I get a little close to someone , a little little bit too close , a little bit too close you know , You're a little too attached .

Speaker 2 4:06

Too attached , because then , yeah , I'll hit that yonder real quick .

Speaker 1 4:11

Wait . So do you think there's such a thing that is too much like being attached to your significant other a little too much ? Oh ?

Speaker 2 4:16

yes , unless , like you know that significant other likes that If it's a preference . But I feel like there is definitely is a uh , a top notch to where you get overly attached , where it's like unhealthy , hmm no , like you see those couples that are with each other every day , all day yeah , I feel like that's unhealthy I think they also need a life outside of their like significant other .

Speaker 1 4:44

Yes , like a friend group or something , and it doesn't like that's unhealthy . Do you think they also need a life outside of their like significant other ?

Speaker 2 4:45

Yes , like a friend group or something , and it doesn't like . It's not bad if you bring those two together like your relationship and your friend group too .

Speaker 1 4:54

Like , how do you feel about those friend groups that are like coupled up ? You know what I mean .

Speaker 2 5:01

That's a recipe for disaster .

Speaker 1 5:05

You know how I said , like how you had to pay for the other person's friend because you felt bad , because it's like a double type of date . I was like I don't think I'll be able to do like . I don't think I've ever done that . I think I've done third wheeling but I never done like the double date thing because I'm like low-key . I think it'd be kind of awkward , because what if the dudes didn't know each other and it was only the girls ? Because it's more so the girls that will set that up , never the guys yeah , always , always , and I hate that so much .

Speaker 2 5:28

I will say honestly , going off of the third wheeling versus double date , I will most likely do third wheeling honestly , because then I feel like I'm the couple's child . They most , nine times out of ten , they will pay for your stuff .

Speaker 1 5:43

It was split pay . My aunt . She had , um , it was back in her prime days . She's still in her prime , but I feel like when you're at that moment where , like , people are doing them , oh , never mind , because everyone will be doing the most for her . But when she , um , it was like a while ago she would have . She was talking to this older guy and he was a lot older , but she would take us . It's like , oh , I'm babysitting , so she would have us with her , and then they would buy us everything . And then my brother was like I want this , I want this , I want this , I want this .

Speaker 2 6:15

Oh yeah , he knew what he was doing .

Speaker 1 6:20

He made sure he grabbed everything . My guy was balling apparently .

Speaker 2 6:23

I don't know who the guy was , but she'll do yeah , your brother know how to work that , because I would have the same way . I'd be like , yeah , let me get that , that , that . Oh , give me that xbox .

Speaker 1 6:33

I was like 11 and then he was like 12 . Let me see any question here . Okay , so what is healing to you ?

Speaker 2 6:43

healing to me . Taking time for yourself , like trying to recognize yourself again and basically working on yourself . That's literally healing . You can only heal yourself with yourself rather than through another person .

Speaker 1 7:00

I feel like , because I feel like most people would do that like um say , if they get off the relationship they get up and under someone to get over the other person type thing , or like you mean like someone , as in they try to find out other hobbies with those people to be able to get through whatever they're getting through basically yeah .

Speaker 2 7:22

So like it's just when , when you're like in the healing stage , like you're hurt and you're trying to heal yourself , nine times out of ten you lost who you are . You know what I'm saying . And then the number one thing I feel like you should do is self-reflect . Just think about all the things that happened and think about . Think about , like , all the mistakes you made and just self reflect on that and then see how you can find better in yourself and you might even upgrade from that too .

Speaker 1 7:53

Not even just finding yourself , but upgrading yourself as well just because you're finding new things that you've learned about yourself that you could have , and so you don't really fall back on those like habits again yeah , exactly so , like in relationships , do you think most of the time

Identity Loss in Relationships

Speaker 1 8:07

? How do people usually tend to lose themselves in a relationship ?

Speaker 2 8:12

I see mostly people being too invested in the other .

Speaker 1 8:17

Relationship , like in their relationship .

Speaker 2 8:18

Yeah , in their significant other . They're usually too invested to a point where they lose themselves in the relationship and , like most of the time , they will become the person that their significant other wants them to be . Yeah , and then that's when it comes to losing yourself after the breakup , because then you probably don't even like the person you became because of that significant other .

Speaker 1 8:43

I was just gonna say that I think you end up hating the relationship because it basically made you feel like you were doing all this for this one person , that the one person that end up leaving anyway yeah , they end up losing friendships because them same friendships .

Speaker 1 8:57

I was sticking around like , hey , can you come hang out with me and text them , and then like , oh , you just bailed on me , even though we were supposed to hang out , and you're right there in the same place with your dude not doing anything at home , or just yep , and you lose all them friendships and that relationship over that relationship , just to have one there Exactly .

Speaker 2 9:17

So , yeah , just don't be too overly invested in a relationship unless I feel like you know you're going to be married .

Speaker 1 9:25

How do you know ?

Speaker 1 9:25

Yeah , I was going to say when you like know that you're going to be invested , or when do you know you should invest very much time for that person when you know you're going to marry like but don't you feel that way when you're like I mean , you know how , when like it's like a girl's fantasy , like and I don't want to say fantasy , but like things that you would do is like , oh , I hope to have kids with this person , I want to marry them , like okay , I wouldn't say that right away , but for some time you would think like within , like after you guys started dating or like made it official , you guys would think about life after that , like the goals and like what's your guys's life after with each other definitely see if your goals are compatible too .

Speaker 1 10:07

I feel like that's like one of the number one green flags when it comes to marriage , if y'all have the similar goals like similar , like future goals , like you guys , if you guys both want kids or if you guys both want to have like a tiny house versus , like you know , one person want a tiny house and kids or a trad life , versus another person that wants to travel the world and have different rentals and stuff and like , yeah , that relationship probably wouldn't work at all .

Speaker 2 10:38

It might work , but you gotta be invested um , I'm doing a podcast .

Speaker 1 10:45

Can I get you a call ? But yeah , and the connection sucks . You wait , you was . Look , you said hi to the folks . Well , you're there , but we're here . Yeah , I'll give you a comeback sponsored by sephora I wish that would be great I feel like you'd have to do your makeup consistent and consistently enough to be like sponsored you have to do it like james charles fucking nikki tutorials in , like the beginning , where he white , like , baked his face all the time yes and I , like react and like reality , thought he was really good and it really wasn't .

Speaker 1 11:42

It was so shitty . No , no hate to james charles but , that white ghost thing .

Speaker 2 11:48

That's what it reminds me yeah , that was crazy . I was like , no wonder he was a freaking meme that he looked at crazy , I'm not even gonna lie .

Speaker 1 11:56

Good start , though , good start we got money , that's all that matters everybody starts somewhere . I was gonna say . There was this video where this uh girl was kissing on a guy .

Speaker 1 12:06

She had so much makeup and then he came out and he had white powder all over his face because he was like really dark skinned and she was like oh Her makeup was like so pale and they were making out in the club and he could not get the makeup off and you know how makeup is hard to get off Sometimes , if it's really good makeup . It was white and it was all over his face . You could just look like . He just looked like he just had baby powder all over his face .

Navigating Relationships and Commitment Boundaries

Speaker 2 12:28

I would be so pissed and like embarrassed I would literally like cry if I was him . But that's just me . I'm a girl actually , I cry over anything .

Speaker 1 12:37

What's the secondhand embarrassment you ever got ?

Speaker 2 12:47

Secondhand embarrassment Ooh . You ever seen Stranger Things ? Yeah , okay , my secondhand embarrassment was that scene where she tried to use her powers against that bully and it didn't work . In front of hundreds of fucking kids , that's like probably my second most secondhand embarrassment . I can't think of the first one , though . Oh , I'm trying to think and that was from a fucking show like that killed me so much my mom .

Speaker 1 13:09

I feel like parents . When you're young you're like , oh , um , what's the word ? Uh , you're . You just want to be cool , like you don't want your mom to be doing stuff for you , you don't want your mom to be in your life . You know , you're just like mom . Stop like doing too much . But one time this girl wanted to fight me and she went and went up to the little girl like , no , you're not gonna hit my daughter . If you hit , I'm gonna do something about it . I'm like mom , you're telling a little girl that I'm gonna go into school oh god she was one of them , moms .

Speaker 1 13:38

Like she would go up to the people and be like no , and she'll cause a scene . I'm just like , oh my god oh , but that shows that she really loves you it embarrassed me because everyone else was like damn , her mom really came , and then , oh , you went to go get your mom .

Speaker 1 13:53

I'm like , if anything , I told her not to go did you get bullied after she did all that , or they was just like damn um no , I think after I had went into the office because I think she did bring it like the girl that , like my mom , was yelling at , she was like , oh , you told your mom ? And I was like like , yeah , because if I was gonna fight you I had to let her know beforehand before I whooped your ass exactly you fuck so and then she was like , well , you're not gonna win because I fought your cousin and she lost .

Speaker 1 14:17

And I was like , first of all , she wasn't my cousin , I'm not gonna put the name , she wasn't my cousin , she's a friend . The claim isn't my cousin , but she didn't even go to our school , so I didn't know what she was talking about . And then we were in fourth grade , so what threw me off ? She's like yeah , I fought her last year , so you were in third grade . Oh , okay , big win right , big dubs .

Speaker 2 14:36

Then here's a cookie um .

Speaker 1 14:38

After that I went to the office and I told the principal and he was like oh , um , she would never do that . She's been here since kindergarten . She's such a sweet girl , she would never do that . Every time there's someone new , they always want to fight her . I'm like you would think , right , okay . And then basically they blamed me for it because I was a new student and every time someone wanted to fight me , I was always the new student at the time , so it's always my fault and I was just like bruh oh , my mom kept transferring me and I'm like bruh .

Speaker 1 15:04

Can I just fight for the one time ?

Speaker 2 15:06

right , what the hell ? At this point , you're not gonna see them again if you're gonna get transferred either way . I mean Either way .

Speaker 1 15:11

I mean my mom would be like no , you don't need to fight , just tell somebody , I'm okay . Every time I tell somebody , it was always my fault . I was like bruh , except that one time I fought the dude and then he got suspended and then he transferred because everyone was bullying him because he fought a girl . And I felt bad for him after because he didn't give me that Dang got whooped by a girl I was in seventh grade .

Speaker 1 15:33

Okay , what would be the difference of you having because you know how girls they be like , oh , only fans . You know making money . Basically , what men will identify morals you would have ? Technically , don't have any at that point . Would you believe that ?

Speaker 2 15:50

I don't know if your concept of like morals and like morale , I should say well , I feel like everybody is literally different so everyone's different of aspect of morals is different from someone else exactly so an only fans girl or like a stripper at that sense . Okay , they will find their own person that don't give a fuck . You know . They think of it like , oh , you're just getting your bag . If you want to show off your body and that's how you want to live your life , then I like that in you , because you just live in your own life versus you know , probably another man . That's like that's disgusting , blah , blah , blah .

Speaker 1 16:25

That should be my body , and my body only but what would you think like if there , if that what that basically is , the concept , though , of like getting in a marriage and being with someone , or wanting , like an eternity , someone to only be that person for them and only being able to reveal that to them , because then , at the end of the day , it's like you're showing everybody else what everyone else can already have . You know what ?

Speaker 2 16:47

I mean .

Speaker 1 16:48

Like everyone else can offer that , but it's just like you're only devoting yourself to give yourself to that one person . If you're not doing that , then it's like who you're basically doing that with everyone else .

Speaker 2 17:02

If that makes sense showing yourself , I guess not yourself , but those people of the people I mean , like , if I like , really want an opinion on that I don't really have one because it's like I feel like that's just their lives they decide to do it with you know , yeah , if , and like nine times out of ten people that does do that don't really believe in marriage either way too oh , for real .

Speaker 1 17:29

I never knew that I need to ask . Maybe I should stand outside a you believe in marriage , exactly because ? I mean , honestly , I kind of do want to get inside of other people's opinions because I feel like if you don do want to get inside of other people's opinions , because I feel like if you don't believe in marriage , what do you believe in ?

Speaker 2 17:43

right . That's why I always thought too , but I've definitely heard some people that were my friends don't believe in marriage and I was always shocked .

Speaker 1 17:54

So do you believe that this day and age , you're still able and capable of finding someone ?

Speaker 2 17:58

Oh yeah , for sure . No matter the age , no matter the age 30 . I'm 21 .

Speaker 1 18:06

30 . That's crazy , because I would just imagine . Because , like , I remember this one time Well , because one of my residents I work with , she's like , well , I don't know how old she is , she's pretty old . But she said her husband died and then she found another husband in Colorado and he is loaded with money . She was like at one point I just stopped looking for someone from not from the heart necessarily but just stopped looking for someone that didn't have money . They had to have like something going for themselves . And at a certain age I think , she said she lost her husband , like her 50s or 60s . So she was like I was dealing with someone and he had so much money and now I'm loaded . I'm like , oh , period .

Speaker 1 18:42

Exactly , and then her husband already had died , so she had got the income from them . And then , after that happened , she got with that one dude and then he passed away . So now she's just living her best life .

Speaker 2 18:55

Period Barb Exactly Period Barb .

Speaker 1 18:57

Exactly Period Barb Do your thing , do your thing For real , oh okay , so how can you get over someone without dating them ? You ever had that happen to you . You were in a situationship and then you were really like hooked on them and then you just couldn't get over them Because they didn't want a relationship . I feel like most most of the time , 10 out of 10 guys that are not in a relationship with the situation ship is because it's the guys yeah , I feel like it's really the guy that just don't want a relationship , but she's sticking around yeah , he just likes having a body next

Speaker 2 19:31

to him a warm comfort exactly someone to lay on and stuff . Those are the people that don't believe in marriage too . I feel like I really do .

Speaker 1 19:40

Well , that , because it's like what , what's the reason of having someone around that long and not want to commit to them ? And you really , and sometimes truly you only want to fuck with them , but you don't want to have the title of being with them , because then you're obligated to be committed to them exactly that's .

Speaker 2 19:56

That's annoying , because then it's like you're wasting both of each other's times . Is y'all already like invested in each other to a point where it's like a situation ship that could go into a relationship . You just don't want to put a title in it . You just you don't really love that person .

Speaker 1 20:13

I feel like to yeah , to be able to commit . I feel like if a guy really wanted to be with someone , they would show the time and like the effort to be able to commit . I feel like if a guy really wanted to be with someone , they would show the time and like the effort to actually want to be with them Exactly .

Speaker 2 20:22

If they care , they will show it . They will show it . If they wanted to , they would . If they wanted to , they fucking would .

Speaker 1 20:30

That's the reason I hate situationships , Because it's like most of the time , they just how long would you talk to someone before you're like , yeah , this is not going , nowhere , I'm not gonna like go any further , like you have to be . Like oh , three month rule , two month rule . Like oh , if you don't ask me by this much time , then we're not gonna be together , and or you just let it like go as it go , go with the flow I try to go with the flow , but I would say if I were to cap it , probably nine months nine months , yeah , I like situation .

Speaker 2 21:05

I like slow burns , you don't know how it started . Like what if it like started literally as friends and then , like y'all started slowly getting into a situation , ship by like the fourth month or something .

Speaker 1 21:17

Okay , you know what I'm saying . I don't get what you're saying , but I get it , that's crazy .

Speaker 1 21:22

Nine months is crazy . I feel like if he has to ask me out within the month , like after that , like not that month , but like the following months , or at least saying like , oh yeah , I want to be able to like get with you sometime soon you know what I mean . Like soon . You know what I mean . Like actually showing invest , like because I feel like slow burns aren't like , I feel like in my idea , because I wouldn't know , because I wouldn't go with any of my friends , but in that instance I don't think , well , I actually can't even picture it , because I don't think I would really I couldn't get with any of my friends , because I feel like all my friends were from high school so

Speaker 2 21:54

I'm like no so wait , you never thought like any of your friends was like cute or something , and you was like maybe friends are cute , but I would never be like , oh , I would date you , because then it would be .

Speaker 1 22:04

It'd be like an uncomfortable situation where , like , I feel like we can't be friends because I wouldn't be able to treat you the same and I'll be sad that if we were to be something and it fucks up you can't be friends again .

Speaker 2 22:15

Yeah , nine times out of ten .

Speaker 1 22:17

It's not gonna work any friendship of mine to have that one moment , or what could have been moment . But I feel like if it was meant to be , it would already have been . You know what I'm saying ? That's why I was like I couldn't do slow burn , because I'm like what's the point ? I feel like if we're doing all this and we have mutual friends , I feel like we're friends , then we have mutual friends right , I already have showed you other people that we are around .

Speaker 1 22:38

So that's the only logical reasoning in my head because yeah , I couldn't do something it could still pop up out of nowhere , you never know .

Speaker 2 22:52

But yeah , honestly , I think I stick with that though nine months . Though , honestly , I'm a I'm just a slow paced type of person because I get too scared when it comes to relationships .

Speaker 1 23:03

Yeah , I was like that for the longest . Well , that's because this the person I'm with now . We've already been like together for some time , so it's different . But I feel like in my past relationships where I would like I would take it slow , where I wouldn't post them , I wouldn't do any of that because it's like like I would be in a situation ship but I wouldn't post them , I wouldn't like . I don't think I would commit as much as I would want to like . That's the thing like . If I'm gonna be in a relationship or in a situation ship , I want to commit . I don't want to just go halfway because it's like who has the time to want to devote themselves to always constantly trying to message someone ? Or just like no , just come pick me up ?

Speaker 1 23:39

let's just get it over , let's just get together now because I just I'm the type of person I have to know , like I have to know what it is , or I'm asking like 221 questions who you talk to , where you going right right . I feel like even in your situationship , you're still like doing those things .

Speaker 2 23:55

You're just not putting the label on it yeah , I mean , that is basically what a situationship is . You're just keeping it basically a secret .

Speaker 1 24:02

I feel like I ain't trying to be no secret .

Speaker 2 24:07

I felt that . I felt that in a way it's just , I don't know the commitment be scaring me .

Navigating Relationship Boundaries and Breaks

Speaker 2 24:13

I could see the commitment being scary , though because then , like , imagine like y'all do end up getting together and then y'all start posting everything and all of a sudden a girl slides up yeah , he was in my dms this past few days . Be like , no , that's fucking embarrassing . I just posted you , we just made it official , and all of a sudden these girls are coming out and stuff . What if you ?

Speaker 1 24:34

were doing the situation ship for nine months , like you couldn't get mad because , oh , we were in a situation ship . You know what I'm saying ? So it's like you gave them the option . That's why I'm like no , because after we make it official all them gotta go . Like after that , like if we made it official then and there everyone else gotta go , but if it's a situation ship for nine months , it's basically saying you're , it's an open relationship and okay , yeah , when you put it like that .

Speaker 2 24:58

Okay , yeah , and I'm not gonna lie , like I said , I would probably still get mad if the song girls were that's why it's like oh yeah , we made it official .

Speaker 1 25:06

Let's make the post and then she was like oh , he was just in my dms last month , like bitch , you don't have to tell me that we just made it official . Okay , it doesn't matter , but it does like stuff , like that , like or like , do you uh , how , what's like the longest relationship you was in ?

Speaker 2 25:25

the longest relationship a year okay .

Speaker 1 25:27

So like , did you guys ever have like a someone like , uh , there was like a break in between or something ? Or yeah , okay , so like with breaks , would you still have been pissed if , like he would to go out , like message other people out his way to go like oh , what you're doing tonight . Like he just seemed very like eager , that you know what I mean .

Speaker 2 25:46

Like those guys are very obsessive , but not obsessive but like trying to persuade somebody to see them very urgently , like urgently I'm like oh , that's such a turn off , like that is a turn off , but with me , like if we both agree to have a break , I'm fully expecting you to do that and you better fully expect me to do that , just so I can have it under my , just in case you know what I'm saying like you can't get mad , it's just like well , shit , I did the same thing okay , I don't give a fuck .

Speaker 2 26:18

Nah , let me stop . But yeah , I would definitely do the exact same thing if we both agree to go on a break , though , honestly , go , just do whatever you want to do unless we like full-on agree like , okay , we're gonna take a break , and then , oh , like with boundaries for ourselves , yeah , not just to go take a break and do whatever you have to state those things prior to taking a break like yes this and this better not be done yes , otherwise they'll interpret it the way they want to think of it . Yeah , you gotta .

Speaker 1 26:52

You gotta set them boundaries what's like a big main three about like three is like three boundaries of yours when dating someone hmm , I would say definitely dang , I don't .

Speaker 2 27:10

What are your three boundaries ?

Speaker 1 27:13

mine are you can't involve yourself with my family's issues Because my family is very problematic , so there's a time to break out of a fight or call you out just because you're there . Don't act like they just was talking to the air when they said that , like if they called you out by your name or anything . Just ignore them , like just you know at that point we're walking out and leaving .