Digital Fire

#8 The "Haunted" Cabin

Caleb Parker

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0:00 | 36:10

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A guy who gets freaked out about witewawwy everything goes on a hiking date that he can't handle and gets scared by a compass. Join Caleb and Andy for another adventure of wild stories.

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SPEAKER_01

Anyway, so we went to the we went to the Pitbull concert and Kesha opens up, dude. All her background dancers, obviously mostly completely naked. Like there was a fine line of of what could be seen as clothing, right? And it wasn't a lot. It was a very thin line. And it's just one of those things. There's just booties everywhere. Booties everywhere. And then like you talking about Sabrina Carbon. I'm like, dude, I don't know how some people just go to a show and want to wanna wanna just watch that. And it's mostly, yeah, and like for pitbull, there was a lot of like younger, like younger audience too.

SPEAKER_00

Whose idea, and you don't have to use names, you can just say either my wife or my wife's friend, but whose idea was it to go see Pitbull?

SPEAKER_01

I think it was a collective thought process. Nice. Because it's it's pit bull, dude. What the ho tell mo tell holiday in. Yeah, that was cool over 10 years ago. All right. Well, either way, it's still pit bull. My man's, you know, freaking, what is he, Puerto Rican? Loves America so much. Biggest American supporter. Is he actually? Yeah. He's he loves the big thing.

SPEAKER_00

That's probably why he's not as popular anymore because he decided not to go with the status quo, as it were.

SPEAKER_01

It was a fun concert. It was it was great. Full full of energy. Guitar player was freaking rocking it. They did the, if I remember correctly, they did the Halo theme song too, just for like an intermission type thing, and it they did pretty good. Added a little bit of like a salsa feel to it too for the for the Halo theme song. It was good. You know all about that salsa. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

If you've got to pick a concert to go to and your wife was gonna tag along, who would you choose? Noah Khan. Noah Khan? Yeah. That's the last person I think that you would go to see in concert.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I wouldn't take my wife to a metal concert though. She would not survive. One, because it's not her vibe. Two, it's like bringing a a lily into the city. Is Kesha your vibe? No.

SPEAKER_00

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01

But you still win.

SPEAKER_00

Come on, baby.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, but it was I went for pit bull. I didn't go for Kesha.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

It still happened. You're right. I'm sorry. Mafia.

SPEAKER_00

What if Noah Khan is opening for a metal on concert?

SPEAKER_01

That'd be crazy. Then I would stick along for the opener, too. But Bailey, I'm sure, would be like, I'm gonna go to the bathroom or I'm gonna go outside.

SPEAKER_00

Or go to the bathroom for the rest of the concert. It's a long time, dog.

SPEAKER_01

For at least the metal part. And then come back for Noah Khan. Yeah. That's just how I would see it going.

SPEAKER_00

Sounds like a lot of fun. You have to do it, you have to do the thing.

SPEAKER_01

Oh yeah. For Stefan, I gotta crack one for the boys. Let's crack a cold one with the with the boys. This is why Stefan does it, not me. Whatever.

SPEAKER_00

Crack one with crack one for the boys. Well, that can be yours. That'll be your line.

SPEAKER_01

I don't want it to be my line. Crack one for the stable. It's like Stefan's staple.

SPEAKER_00

No, I mean you can say crack one for the boys, and he'll say crack crack a cold one with the boys. Um you got your own.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, all right, fine.

SPEAKER_00

And I just have my own.

SPEAKER_01

I want to TM it.

SPEAKER_00

My hot tea.

SPEAKER_01

Hot tea. What do you got in that hot tea? Yeah, your chamomile and lemon?

SPEAKER_00

How do you know it was chamomile?

SPEAKER_01

Because you like chamomile. You're always drinking freaking chamber.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, it is chamomile tea with other things. And then I do put a little bit of lemon juice in it.

SPEAKER_01

That sounds delicious. I got this little caddyshack. Caddyshack peace tea. I think it's like their version of like uh like Arnold Palmer, I think. Tastes like an Arnold Palmer.

SPEAKER_00

Arizona makes Arnold Palmer, Andy.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, but this is peas tea. Oh, peace tea's not a Arizona? They're like a they're like, it's like Nike and Adidas. Oh.

SPEAKER_00

I thought it was Arizona Peace T. No. That's what I thought it was.

SPEAKER_01

Peace T is his own thing. Oh wow. It's got a peace sign on it.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I see that.

SPEAKER_01

Oh why you why are you talking at me like that?

SPEAKER_00

I'm not talking to you anyway. Dude.

SPEAKER_01

Oh yeah. What concert would you if you were to take anyone on a date, what concert what's the what's the first concert you would pick? Even though you're not, I know you're not a concert grower, but I'm bringing that question to you now.

SPEAKER_00

Uh I would go see Joji.

SPEAKER_01

Joji?

SPEAKER_00

No, you couldn't. Not really. Pink suit guy? Pink pink guy. His name was just pink guy. Pink guy, that's right. That's a hard one because I don't know anybody who I'd want to go see in concert. Last concert that I went to that I can remember was the Eagles.

SPEAKER_01

Oh. Was that like a tribute thing or was that like a um what do you call it? Like a reunion tour? I think they're still together. Are they? Yeah, it's just I don't think they're doing shows really though, right?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, well, this was a while ago. Right.

SPEAKER_01

This was probably. So you were like 12.

SPEAKER_00

Not 12. This was probably like nine or 10 years ago. It was a while ago. It was a long time ago.

SPEAKER_01

So you were like 40. Yeah, I was 40 years old. Dang.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. It's crazy. It's crazy that we're 50.

SPEAKER_01

I'm pro I'm I'm surprised you didn't say like, what's his name? Matayoshi?

SPEAKER_00

Or oh duh, of course I could.

SPEAKER_01

Come on. Masayoshi to make it. Masayoshi, yeah, yeah. I always get the name wrong. He's fun.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, I would go see him. I'm actually considering it, but tickets are 300 bucks.

SPEAKER_01

It's like a once-in-a-lifetime experience, though.

SPEAKER_00

And it's in Chicago.

SPEAKER_01

It'd be it'd be a satisfying show to go see. Like I think like that. Like there's certain bands I feel like I would spend a good amount of money on. I would go see 21 Pilots live again. Even though their tickets are like, yeah, 200, 300 bucks.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, so I might consider going to see him. Wait, 21 Pilots are still that expensive? Yeah, dude, they're a big band. I feel like I almost thought they fell off because I haven't heard about them in a while.

SPEAKER_01

They're huge.

SPEAKER_00

Last time, I mean I remember them coming to the Van Andel, but they haven't been in Grand Rapids in years.

SPEAKER_01

Dude, they have well they don't even go to Grand, they don't even go to Grand Rapids really. They do the Little Caesars Arena.

SPEAKER_00

Detroit.

SPEAKER_01

Detroit, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I feel like Grand or Van Andel's pretty big too.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. But you have to think about it though. I don't think Van Andel has like the best sound quality.

SPEAKER_00

I don't think they ever really did. I wouldn't be able to tell. It's so loud.

SPEAKER_01

Me being a sound guy, I can I can tell. Yeah. I think 20 Monroe sounds better than Van Andel. Huh?

SPEAKER_00

Nothing. 21 Monroe. How many of them? So 20.

SPEAKER_01

20 Monroe.

SPEAKER_00

21 Monroe? 20 Monroe. 20 Monroe. It would sound better if it was 21 Monroe.

SPEAKER_01

That would be cool.

SPEAKER_00

Flow's better. Dude, make a band and call it that. Oh. 21 Monroe. Yeah. Yeah, it's named after the building across the street from the music venue.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Dude, yes.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, dude. And then just I have some band names.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, that's what I'll do. I have some band names, but I'm not going to say I'm on here because I don't want someone to steal it.

SPEAKER_01

Dude, you should call your band Boston.

SPEAKER_00

I should, because that's not a band already. You do know that there is a band called Boston. You had to think about it though. I know you did.

SPEAKER_01

I did. I'm pretty sure there's almost a band name with almost any state. Or city. Or city, yeah. What is it? We got Michigander, which is like from obviously Michigan. Like literally, I think.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, he's newer though, right?

SPEAKER_01

There was an old band called Michigander, but I think they weren't like big enough to.

SPEAKER_00

This guy's a folk guy, right?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. There was like a like a punk band called Michigander too, though, that I used to know.

SPEAKER_00

You just need to find some small town on the map and just name it that.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Like Ypsilani.

SPEAKER_00

That Ishbaming.

SPEAKER_01

Winnipeg.

SPEAKER_00

Winnipeg. Do Beaver Island.

unknown

Oh.

SPEAKER_00

That'd be cool. Name a song called Beaver Island. I've never been. I hear it's a good one. I've never been either, but my buddy Jake goes there every year. And he always tries to convince me to go, and I need to go. And I want to, but it always lines up with my family camping.

SPEAKER_01

Let's just turn off this podcast and go to Beaver Island Arena. Okay.

SPEAKER_00

Alright, guys. See you later.

SPEAKER_01

Thanks for listening. Just kidding. It's like 10 o'clock at night. We're not going nowhere.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Alright. Should we start? Let's do it. Alright, you know what we have to do though? We have to jump in. Everybody I talk to loves that noise. Oh, really? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

It's Stefan's favorite.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, he can't wait for it to happen. Yeah. We're doing an intro and he's just giddy and his sleep.

SPEAKER_01

He's like, should I push the button?

SPEAKER_00

I should let him next time. Stefan, you get to push it.

SPEAKER_01

Aww. Well, that'd be such an honor for him.

SPEAKER_00

Alright, this is the first story.

SPEAKER_01

One out of five.

SPEAKER_00

Hey, love gurus. I need some advice. Or possibly an exorcism. Oh no. Oh, and already starting off as. We're getting another spooky one? I don't think it's spooky. I couldn't find any spooky ones on Reddit. Ah, boo. But I need to I need to search for ones. Because they were ones are kind of fun. I did get some some good feedback. They I got feedback like it was nice there was a scary one and then also a dating one. Okay. But everybody we made Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, okay. That's how you do it. That's the inflection.

SPEAKER_00

Uh because I do want to move on from just doing dating. Like it could be like life problems, scary stories, stupid ones. Yeah. Yeah, but is the audience down? Are you guys down? At the same time, we don't have a huge audience right now, so if we did change, it's not gonna kill it that much. Anyway, so I went on this first date with a girl I've been talking to online for a couple weeks. She seemed super cool, outdoorsy, loved hiking. I figured, great, I can pretend to be the kind of guy who enjoys physical activity and sunlight. Okay. I suggested this trail near my town. Nice views, moderate difficulty, supposedly only slightly haunted. Oh scary. She laughed when I said that, which I thought was a good sign. Fast forward to Saturday. I show up in my best rugged but chill outfit. She shows up in actual hiking gear, like she looked ready to submit to Summit Everest while I looked ready for brunch in a nap. Whoa. Which one would you go with? The Everest outfit or brunch in a nap?

SPEAKER_01

I feel like I couldn't see myself being so ready like that. I feel like I would just do obviously like regular.

SPEAKER_00

You know who would dress like there's somebody in Everest?

SPEAKER_01

Ethan. Yep. Yep. Shout out to Ethan, dude. I feel like we talk about him every episode.

SPEAKER_00

Well, he is kind of an icon around here.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, he's about to go on the Appalachian again here pretty soon.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, is it the Pacific?

SPEAKER_01

The California one, yeah. Oh, that'd be cool. Good for him. Yeah. Hope he finds a new mountain woman out there. Mountain honey. Yeah. Hiking honey. Continu.

SPEAKER_00

We start the hike, and right away she's moving at a pace that made me question every life decision. But I'm hanging in there, gasping quietly like a polite Victorian ghost. What's with this guy with ghosts? Come on, man. Who really likes ghosts? Things are going okay until we pass this old half-collapsed cabin off the trail. Oh. So there's a half-collapsed cabin on the outskirts of his town. Okay. Real believable guy. She says, let's check it out. And I, trying to be cher chill and fearless, say, yeah, sure. Even though everything about the place screams contained at least one cursed diary. Ooh, this guy's kind of funny. What would you do? Would you, if you saw a cabin, we're hiking? Are you gonna go check it out? Are you gonna be too scared? Are you gonna call the police? I mean, it's like an abandoned house, right? If it's like super half-collapsed cabin.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. I don't know. I'd probably try and stay away. Not because I'd be scared, but just because it's like, what if it's like super dirty and just gross?

SPEAKER_00

And what if we see someone like leaned over, like eating? They're just like, it's like somebody's fingers at you, and they just stare at you.

SPEAKER_01

And they go, Ben, would you check it out? No, I'd run. Be like, we gotta go. Be like, I don't think there's a chance for a second date. We can't do this no more.

SPEAKER_00

But what if that is the hiking honey? I mean, I know you're married, but like for other people, like what if what if that's their only option?

SPEAKER_01

I mean, if they're willing to do it. This guy doesn't sound like he's willing to do a hike, though. This guy's a fainting.

SPEAKER_00

That's true. It sounds like he doesn't want to hike.

SPEAKER_01

He doesn't like the sun. He doesn't like that.

SPEAKER_00

He's gasping like a ghost. Yeah, dude. About ready to die.

SPEAKER_01

Sounds like he's pale. He's like a pale, maybe he's like a pale chubby dude. Sorry. Maybe. Probably true though. I'm not that sorry.

SPEAKER_00

We step inside, dusty beams, spider webs, the usual ambiance of murder might have happened here. She spots something shiny on a shelf, an old compass, picks it up, jokes, bet this points to the soles of the darned. But she actually said the bad word. Oh no. I know.

SPEAKER_01

Dude, you can't be saying swears. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And then the needle spins on its own, like violently. Oh man. I try to laugh it off, but the compass stops. Dead center, pointing behind me. What what's with come on? This is it seems like he It seems like he's read it off an R.L.

SPEAKER_01

Stein book or something.

unknown

R.

SPEAKER_00

L Stein, is that the guy who got goosebumps? Yes. Like the kids horror kind of.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, dude. Bringing back tragic memories right there. You remember the intro, and then when it gets to the dog and you see the dog's eyes glow all yellow and scary. I don't think I was allowed to watch goosebumps as a kid.

unknown

Dang.

SPEAKER_00

I know.

SPEAKER_01

I feel like I'm very different. I grew up very differently as a Christian compared to most of my friends. Because there's some people that are like, I wasn't allowed to watch Spongebob.

SPEAKER_00

I wasn't allowed to I could watch Spongebob. Actually, my dad for a lot of episodes of Spongebob would just be sitting there dying laughing.

SPEAKER_01

There were some, obviously, that he didn't like because some of them did kind of get weird, but because I mean it's my grandma did I watched it still, but my grandma just didn't like that I watched Spongebob because she he said like the word stupid or something like that. She doesn't like the word, she never liked the word stupid.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Well, it was in that show a lot because Patrick. Welcome to Squidward's Tiki Land. Ever seen that one? I think I remember that episode. Tiki Tiki. Now, this is where my body and my brain had a disagreement. My brain said, It's wind or magnets or science, but my body said, Goodbye forever. And started backing toward the door. Then we hear something outside: a branch snapping, then another. She looks thrilled. Thrilled. I'm sweating like I'm being interviewed about a crime. She whispers, let's go see what it is. Long story short, even though this has been a long story, we ended up running three miles downhill in silence, like two terrified gazelles on their first date. When we finally made it back to the parking lot, she turned to me totally calm and said, That was fun. We should do something scarier next time. And he's shaking in his boots. I'm shaking. I just nodded because my lungs were too busy filling filing a lawsuit against me.

SPEAKER_01

We don't even have to make fun of this guy.

SPEAKER_00

He does dude, you spilled your PCT on my table. Lap it up off the table. It's mostly on your thing. Yeah. The thing is a blanket. I will just wash that later. I'll bring you some detergent dogma, but throwing a few extra bucks too. Alright, you're right. My fault. So now I don't know. Was that a good date? Should I be flattered that she's into ghost chasing or concerned that I might be the something scarier she meant for next time? Anyway, if your advice involves meeting at a coffee shop instead of a haunted forest, I'm all ears.

SPEAKER_01

He might be overreacting a little bit.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, what if she's really hot?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. She's like the mountain honey. The hiking honey, as we call it, right?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

I think where did where is he getting the idea that he needs to do an extraordinary?

SPEAKER_00

We need a nature thing with baddie. So there's hiking honey. Uh-huh. And there needs to be something baddie, but it needs to be have to do with hiking. It can either rhyme or it has to have the same letter that begins, like hiking honey. And then, you know, like mountain mommy. And then I hate that one.

SPEAKER_01

Oh man. I'm come back to us on that one.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, we'll come back. Or if we don't get to it, put it in the comments, and uh, you will not get anything for that. But it'll be cool.

SPEAKER_01

Subscribe now, and you'll get a free bottle of air.

SPEAKER_00

Yes.

SPEAKER_01

That's all you get.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

I don't know. I'm still trying to understand where he's like, should I do an exorcism or something like that?

SPEAKER_00

Like, where I think that was probably just exaggeration.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. This guy sounds like a wuss. Doesn't want to hike, doesn't like going outside.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I bet the cabin and everything wasn't even that scary. But if you're somebody who never goes out into the woods or goes outdoors, stuff like that would freak you out because you're not used to it.

SPEAKER_01

Right.

SPEAKER_00

You know, we we s went out in the woods of Manisty and heard animal noises all night. So, like we're pretty good.

SPEAKER_01

That's one of the that's one of the camping stories I can't forget. It's too funny. No, it's on. You guys awake? Yeah, I've been awake this whole time. It's just the pause between the two.

SPEAKER_00

I wish I would have known he was awake because I was pretty much awake all night too. Yeah. Because I was sitting in that chair and I was freezing.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. It was it was super cold. It was. I remember how bundled I was, and I was still cold.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Like I still kept my jacket on.

SPEAKER_00

And I heard animals and stuff circling all night. Hoping hopefully it was animals.

SPEAKER_01

We would have come about Wendico.

SPEAKER_00

What if it was a bear or something too?

SPEAKER_01

Like I would, we would never know. A bear would come close, though, wouldn't it?

SPEAKER_00

Because it would see the fire. They were close. Whatever it was was really close. Yeah. But it seems like the really loud ones are always squirrels or something, or like a raccoon, because they just didn't.

SPEAKER_01

I think I s wasn't it a a raccoon or something that ran by us that one night too, because we were like trying to set up in the dark, but then we saw something run across.

SPEAKER_00

Where was that?

SPEAKER_01

It was in the camping trip.

SPEAKER_00

The same campaign, yeah. Probably. Yeah. I don't remember what it was. Those little things are everywhere. Anyway, back to my point is if he's not used to doing stuff like that, like anything would freak him out. And I bet the cabin wasn't even that scary. Probably not. It was probably just some old shed. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

I just wouldn't go because it's just it'd just be dirty. Probably full of bugs and stuff. Yeah. I ain't about it.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, Andy. You're out in the woods and you're worried about getting dirty and dusty. Come on.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Come on, dude.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. I'm a glamper.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, so what's what's the what's the situation with this guy? Does he go and see her again?

SPEAKER_01

It doesn't sound like it's gonna be his type. I think just drop it. Cause he didn't even sound like he really wanted to try it, but he tried. You know? That's just my thing.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, and it sounds like he hated it.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, he didn't have fun. I'm sorry, dude. I think the I think sometimes opposites attract. Oh my gosh, dude. What if this girl that's the hiker is the hiker from the last story we read? And then it ends up being that this guy actually falls in love with her and ended up stalking her in the woods.

unknown

Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_00

I didn't even think about that. What kind what what what core what depends connection? Unfortunately, I didn't write where he was from, but if it if it's somewhere in Appalachia, could be. Uh oh. That's kind of scary. Could be. It's very scary. That's a scary thought. That is a very scary thought. I'm actually freaking out anymore.

SPEAKER_01

Overall, drop it or try again.

SPEAKER_00

I don't know. Drop it or try again. I don't know. I'm just letting him nice definitive answers.

SPEAKER_01

You know what? You know what? Drop it. Because you're obviously not going to make a choice as I really think about it now. That's true.

SPEAKER_00

Like I just know that sometimes opposites attract. Sometimes they don't, though. I think that's kind of romanticized.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I think so too.

SPEAKER_00

Well, you're married. Are you and your wife polar opposites, or you have some similarities, or what what's going on here? You know, good.

SPEAKER_01

We have slight similarities, but I think we're mostly opposites. She's more of the like, I'm very what is it? What's the word? Out outward and like outgoing. Yeah. Like I like to go talk to people and stuff like that while she's more like, I'll talk to the same three people or whatever. Like she tries though, but I'm obviously more energetic and she's kind of more chill than than me. But it It works.

SPEAKER_00

It works. Hmm. Maybe it's not romanticized after all. Maybe opposites do attract. So I say give it another shot. Give it another shot, dude. See how the coffee date goes.

SPEAKER_01

Maybe get a bow flex. A bow flex?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, you know, like the thing or you just I haven't seen a commercial for those on TV in in probably a decade. I'm not even getting it.

SPEAKER_01

Since we had cable.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

And we don't have cable.

SPEAKER_00

It's it's probably been longer than a decade. And we didn't even have cable. We've always had that antenna. But I remember the Bo Flex. Yeah. The Bo Flex. All the infomercials.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, the infomercials. With Chuck Norris testing them all out. Yeah. Did he really? Yeah, there were some commercials where he was.

SPEAKER_00

So when he wasn't making bad movies, he was I'm kidding. I was trying to rage bait when I when I said that.

SPEAKER_01

Dude, Jason's reaction to that. He's like, what?

SPEAKER_00

Has he has anybody ever actually seen a lot of his movies? Because I guarantee not nobody's seen that many.

SPEAKER_01

I haven't seen too many of his movies, but I remember always watching Walker Texas Ranger with my grandpa.

SPEAKER_00

I remember seeing one of those. Was that a movie or was it a show?

SPEAKER_01

It was a show.

SPEAKER_00

Okay. I think I seen either seen the show or a movie where he's sunk.

SPEAKER_01

Or he's a Texas Ranger.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. And he would like fighting.

SPEAKER_00

And then in the Expendables, too, it was cool to see him in there.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. For like two minutes. And he didn't even they didn't even give him like a big thing. He's like, Oh yeah, I just took care of this whole part of town all by myself. Yeah. Sorry, I woke alone.

SPEAKER_00

But then it's cool that he shows up in the end.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, that's that is true.

SPEAKER_00

And he like winks.

SPEAKER_01

I love how he always has like those movies were just too great having all those action movie people in one of the movies.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, they were kind of cheesy, but yeah, that's what I mean. They were supposed to be. It was supposed to be like action-filled with all the action stars. That's all that it was supposed to be. And everybody just was like, oh, it's so corny. It's like it's kind of supposed to be. Yeah. It's just supposed to be over-exaggerated having all the people from the past and the new ones.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Like Jason Statham. Jason Statham was was fun to have on that one.

SPEAKER_00

Uh Terry Cruz, but I don't remember Terry Cruz really being in any. I can't think of what action movies he's in, but I'm sure he's in some.

SPEAKER_01

He's probably in some. I just remember him. He was mostly known for white chicks. But he's a bodybuilder, so it's like they had to have him.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

The dude could flex every muscle in his body. Freaking shooting 20 gauge out of that thing. Yeah. Insane. It was funny. Good movies. They were. Yeah. Anyway, drop it, dude. You're not, you're not gonna go for it.

SPEAKER_00

So Annie says drop it. I say if you can get her to go on a coffee date, do it. Because that's what he said.

SPEAKER_01

But go to like a mountain coffee shop.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, where they s they sell, they brew it in mountain rain.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

That'd be cool. That'd be that'd be great. That'd be a nice little gimmick.

SPEAKER_00

I should start that. Do it. No, actually, I want to open a thing like they used to have on Arthur. Remember the sugar bowl that they go to? And it was just like an ice cream place, but they had a little bar where you could drink soda.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. That'd be cool. We need hangout places like that.

SPEAKER_00

I know because only place that you can really hang out is a bar.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Because coffee shops always close at six. Yeah. Unless it's the bitter end, but I don't always want to go there.

SPEAKER_01

I don't like the bitter end. That's like my least favorite coffee shop.

SPEAKER_00

Really?

SPEAKER_01

I don't like bitter end. I don't like lantern anymore.

SPEAKER_00

I like lantern. It's just cool that you get to go downstairs and it's it's like an underground type of thing.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. I don't really like Madcap. Their coffee's not even that good either.

SPEAKER_00

I don't think I've ever really liked Madcap. It's too modern. It's too modern. Yeah. It's not uh like chill. Uh what's it called? Roots? Roots is good. It's pretty cool. Wild Roast is just too overhyped. We both know why.

SPEAKER_01

Uh everybody and their brother at So and So Church goes there.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Full Circle is pretty cool in Byron Center.

SPEAKER_01

I don't think I've been to that one.

SPEAKER_00

That's alright.

SPEAKER_01

It's but we do need like a like a just a hangout spot. Because the only place you could ever go to hang out, like yeah, like bars or the hookah lounge or something like that.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

It's gotta be a place where you can just sit and hang out.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, like they had that um wherever we went, that three mile project. Yeah, they need places like that. Like that place would be sick if I was a kid, too. Which is awesome.

SPEAKER_01

That's what that's what Access wanted it to be.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, but they just couldn't quite get it. All right, story number two. Number two. I've been seeing this guy from school. We're in college. Ooh. We are both going for a biochemical engineering degree. Whoa. Got some money makers. These are smart people. Got some moneymakers over here, too. And have been at the school, and then in parentheses, not disclaiming for privacy privacy purposes, for two and a half years. Guess they don't want to get doxxed. I've seen him around, but this year I had a class with him. I've always thought he was cute, and at the beginning of the semester, he asked me out. We went on three dates, and the last one was too embarrassing. Oh. He was eating his spaghetti and spilled it all over himself and started screaming, Oh my gosh! I spilled it all over my new jigs. It was the most embarrassing moment, and I don't know if I can continue seeing him. Oh, come on. Well, okay. Well, she says it's only been three dates, so is it too soon to call it?

SPEAKER_01

You're three dates in. I feel like you kinda have I think I don't know. I was always like the five day, the five date kind of person after five dates, and if it's working, I'm gonna go for it. But if it if it doesn't, obviously it's like Really?

SPEAKER_00

Five dates? I feel like you should if they've been on three and she's like still thinking about how embarrassing that situation was instead of laughing at it. Yeah, I I don't know. I feel like maybe she should call because if if she was laughing at it, I feel like she'd be like more into it. Like it'd be a more of a funny story versus an embarrassing.

SPEAKER_01

Right. That's fair.

unknown

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01

We gotta figure this out. I mean, we gotta figure out yeah, right. We we also gotta figure out like, is it was it like serious? Like what kind of jeans were they? Were they that important?

SPEAKER_00

What if they were rock revival?

SPEAKER_01

Jeans from the buckle, bro. Those are the worst. Oh my gosh, dude. I can't with those jeans.

SPEAKER_00

They have like that. Uh what is it? That it's like the the but like almost bedazzled bedazzle on both the back pockets. They're just why? I don't know. I don't understand.

SPEAKER_02

I don't understand jeans, though.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, but Ethan has a a less pronounced version. Like they're not as bedazzled. They still kind of have that design.

SPEAKER_01

They have like the what do you call that? Uh stitch. Stitching or embroidery- embroidery? Embroidery. That's like that's a that's a better word. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

But it's not as pronounced on the ones that he gets.

SPEAKER_01

Right. He's also got no cheeks to really like help pronounce them.

SPEAKER_00

But hey, but uh there we go. Funny. But d I never understood that look. It's always like the um embroidered jeans from Buckle, and then it's and you have like the stupid graphic T. Yeah, either the graphic T or you have it's like a button-up, but like the it's like a black button-up with white stitching. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I it's I had a cousin that liked dressing like that for a while. And it was really weird.

SPEAKER_00

It didn't really work for him because like when you look at that style, it works for anybody. Jason L Dean is a perfect picture if you want to find one. He dresses that way. Okay.

SPEAKER_01

It's and it's I just I just see it, but I also see it because it's like it's been Ethan for years and how long we've known him, and that's just how he dresses. He doesn't have the graphic tea, does he? He had a few graphic tees in there.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, yeah, but it's not like the same thing.

SPEAKER_01

It was also it was also like sometimes like graphic like hoodies. Like he'd have like the hoodies, too. And it would look like it was like that kind of like not like the opposite of acid wash. You know what I mean? Like that weird fadey effect, or like that darkening effect that some of those shirts have. He had a couple of those.

SPEAKER_00

I don't remember that. I do, yeah. I know he's got like the nature ones, but I feel like nature graphic tees versus I also remember he's I know what you're talking about.

SPEAKER_01

It's just like you get like that generic, like it's like a griffin bird or something like that.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, yes, exactly.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yes, I I also remember no, I remember Ethan had one of those because then he also had one of those shirts that looked like it was two shirts. You know how you look at that like stupid Yeah, yep.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, maybe he has dressed that way, and I just was so much of his friend I never really realized it.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, he also had that giant hat that he would always wear, his ranger hat.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, maybe he's just one in a million with the style. Maybe he's the one person that could pull it off. Maybe, but other people, I just don't think they ever pull it off, and it's just gross.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I like you have to just look at it. When if you ever walk by like the buckle, like you just have to look at the guys that are buying the clothes from there.

SPEAKER_00

Like it's just just they're just like the most sometimes it seems like the guys even look the same.

SPEAKER_01

That's what I'm saying. Yeah, they all they all have like this really like thin-lined, like beard kind of chin strap beard. The chin strap beard, that's what it's called, and then it's like it's either they have like the the little spiked hair spiked hair, or it's it's either spiked or it's like Justin Bieber-ish almost.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, yep, or like whatever Garth Brooks' alter ego was back in the day. I can't think of what it what his name was.

SPEAKER_01

I forgot his name.

SPEAKER_00

I forgot about Garth Brooks, but he did like an emo album or something for like a movie that never came out and it was his alter ego. It's really weird.

SPEAKER_01

We gotta find that album now.

SPEAKER_00

I know, yeah. I really want to hear it. Chris Gaines. Chris Gaines was his alter ego name, and he had like the hair down, it was black. Uh anyway, back to the story. Yeah. Sorry. Embarrassed. She's embarrassed by seeing him as a too soon to call it. How long has it been? They've only gone on three days.

SPEAKER_01

Three three dates. Three dates. I don't know. I think with that, it's maybe to me, it feels too soon. Unless these dates were like obviously they've known each other for a while, right?

SPEAKER_00

Well, I don't think they've she didn't specify if they knew each other. They've just been going to school together.

SPEAKER_01

Because like the way it's explained, too, it's like they've been like they've been talking, right?

SPEAKER_00

They had to have been talking because she but she said this semester he asked her out. Right. So I don't know. There wasn't the detail. She did say, but she also thought she was cute, so maybe that's why.

SPEAKER_01

Is that what girls go for? Is cuteness?

SPEAKER_00

At first, isn't that what everybody does?

SPEAKER_01

I don't know.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, we're not women. We don't know. Maybe they maybe women just secretly like ugly guys. So that's so that's why they that's why they flock me. It's the head down thing for me too. But I wonder if there's more to the story, like how much was he freaking out? Was he making a huge scene?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, it was just like a big thing where he almost like decided to flip a table or something like that.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, or is he making just like a huge scene?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, was he crying?

SPEAKER_00

Or was he crying? I mean, because if I spilled something on my dreams, I'd be like, man, and then I'd kind of be over it, but I wouldn't like get up and I always end up with something on my friggin' shirt.

SPEAKER_01

But I don't like yellow, I'll just be like, shoot again. Yeah, here we go.

SPEAKER_00

But yeah, yeah, I get it. I my thing is it's like if she has to ask, she might as well call it. Yeah. Because I don't know why you'd have to.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, if you're thinking about it and if it's embarrassing and you still think it's embarrassing, then then you don't really want it. That's my thing about it. I don't know. Yeah. Go for the guy that doesn't overreact a lot in the last in the last story. The non-hikey dude.

SPEAKER_00

Oh yeah, who does it has pretty much a zero personality. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

So that way, go for him. If he spills anything, it doesn't sound like he's gonna scream.

SPEAKER_00

Or he might be too scared to even go to the restaurant. Maybe he'll see uh spider web in the corner and be like, oh, this place is haunted.

SPEAKER_01

Could you imagine? That'd be funny.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, you never know. Alright, you got anything else? Otherwise, we can end this at 35 minutes.

SPEAKER_01

35 minutes?

SPEAKER_00

I know. Well, you got anything else to say? Because I only got two stories this week.

SPEAKER_01

Maybe, I don't know. I guess call it if you're already feeling that way. That's not cool, dude. I think you need to like hard check yourself. Because like, what it how would you react if you spilled like stuff on your pants, lady, you know?

SPEAKER_00

I don't would you think that you'd get up and scream and be like, oh my gosh, I got it on my new jeans. We'll see what let's see what happens.

SPEAKER_01

Cut um comment, yeah. Yeah, go to a restaurant, go to another date with him, and then I don't know, we'll probably text the other guy and make it seem like you know you spilled something on your on your pants, and let's see how you react.

SPEAKER_00

And comment if you're listening on how you would react if you got spaghetti on your clothing. Oh, spaghetti! Yeah. All right, thanks for listening to the love gurus at Digital Fire. Uh, nice little short episode for you. Yeah. Well, yeah, whatever. I don't have anything else to do. Shut up, I love you.