#12 The Mysterious Case Of Owl Girl

Caleb and Stefan are back t it again this time with some of the most bizarre stories yet. One girl loves chess a little too much if that's even possible. A boyfriend gives humiliating gifts in front of her family and friends as if it's some sort of ritual. Enjoy the Show oh

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Transcript

SPEAKER_04 0:03

Oh man. Alright, you know what time it is? It is time to crack a cold one with the boys.

SPEAKER_01 0:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 0:11

Yeah, I got the mango tea.

SPEAKER_01 0:13

And I got the watermelon drift tea. Hot Wheels edition. I know, crazy.

SPEAKER_04 0:22

Explain to the normies what the Hot Wheel edition is. If you don't drink that all in one gun.

SPEAKER_01 0:28

Right. So the Hot Wheels edition of this Arizona tea, apparently they're doing a giveaway where you can win a car that's like inspired by Hot Wheels, but you can actually drive it.

SPEAKER_04 0:40

So I'm like Make it street legal?

SPEAKER_01 0:42

Yeah, it's street legal and everything like that. And so you just scan like the QR code and then you add it.

SPEAKER_04 0:46

Oh my gosh, I gotta get one.

SPEAKER_01 0:48

That would be kind of a flex right there. It's just like, yeah, I got a Hot Wheels actual car. Like, because there's some people that like they won like back in the day, they had a contest for the Simpsons. Because there was the house, and then they actually had one for Homer's car, and somebody won the car. I think I forget what kind of I think it was like a Chevy uh was it a car that was on the Simpsons?

SPEAKER_04 1:11

Yeah, it was the car signed.

SPEAKER_01 1:12

Yeah, I think it was an old station wagon, and I think it was a Chevy if I'm correct. But yeah, they they literally like gave it away like as a contest thing, and then the house, they actually it's it's sad. They got the house is uh covered up, like it's basically like all modern interior and exterior now, but you can still see vaguely the shape of the old because they did it like for a one-for-one scale of like yeah, so they put it ruined it, yeah. Then they ruined it because people like modern stuff and not anything crazy fun.

SPEAKER_04 1:44

That is one thing that's really annoying, though. Every time you go over to someone's house and it's like chrome, Squidward was right, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:50

Squidward Fu chrome.

SPEAKER_04 1:55

Is this all like white or grayscale?

SPEAKER_01 1:58

Just white.

SPEAKER_04 1:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:00

Like on the outside, it's white with like you get your plants and stuff like that in the front, which it's definitely an upgrade for sure, with the plants at least. But then you walk in and everything.

SPEAKER_04 2:08

Yeah, but they're like curated plants.

SPEAKER_01 2:10

Yeah, they're not even real, real. Like it's crazy.

SPEAKER_04 2:12

Yeah, it's not like growing in a garden or something, it's just like it's nice-looking baskets, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:18

Which is like the other thing, too, is like, where's the authenticity at that point, you know? Like, bring me real stuff, the real stuff.

SPEAKER_04 2:26

You know, back to the excuse me, the car thing today when I was driving on the highway, I saw the Oscar Meyer hot dog car.

SPEAKER_01 2:34

Dude, that's one car I would love to have.

SPEAKER_04 2:36

I know, it looks so much fun to drive. No, what's it like?

SPEAKER_01 2:40

It's huge. Surprisingly, like you can fit like I think eight people in there. Is there seats or is it yeah? There's like whole like swivel seats, and there's like a whole bench seat. It's like a bus, pretty much, on the inside, but it's like you have so much like walkable room in there, it's crazy. And I'm like, bro, I want to go in there. I want to travel the world touring a wiener.

SPEAKER_04 2:59

That would be awesome.

SPEAKER_01 3:00

It would be.

SPEAKER_04 3:00

We should save up and buy one.

SPEAKER_01 3:02

We should buy a wiener, absolutely. The wiener mobile. Yes.

SPEAKER_04 3:08

Oh man.

SPEAKER_01 3:09

How's that mango tea there, buddy?

SPEAKER_04 3:12

Very mango-y. Very mango-y. It's mucho mango. How's the watermelon?

SPEAKER_01 3:20

Pretty good. I don't mind it. Like the watermelon is like alright, but I prefer the black and white tea. Just because it has more of like a natural flavor to it. Obviously, like this one being no, I think I don't think they use like artificial flavoring, if I'm correct, in Arizona. I think they actually like use all authentic. Wait, what?

SPEAKER_04 3:40

Looks like a long list of ingredients, Stefan.

SPEAKER_01 3:43

No, look, it says so it says like drinkarizona.com and then it says shake well refrigerate after opening. So you're supposed to shake it. At least maybe this one.

SPEAKER_04 3:54

And who's not gonna drink it in one sitting? You're just gonna like drink half of it, put it in the refrigerator afterwards. Right.

SPEAKER_01 3:59

That's crazy. They probably have to say that. I'm gonna check my black and white tea though when I get home and see if it says shake well. Because if it does, then I'm gonna I'm gonna shake it when I get home.

SPEAKER_04 4:07

See if it tastes better.

SPEAKER_01 4:09

See if it tastes better, yeah. Because that's kind of crazy.

SPEAKER_04 4:11

What's the black and white one? The southern style? Like the sweet tea?

SPEAKER_01 4:14

It's like I think it's like green tea mixed with black tea or something like that. I know it's black tea.

SPEAKER_04 4:19

Oh, yeah, okay. It does have the flour on it. Okay, I remember that one.

SPEAKER_01 4:23

Yeah, that one is by far my absolute favorite. And then I would say probably the green tea and then southern.

SPEAKER_04 4:32

I really like the southern one.

SPEAKER_01 4:33

Yeah, southern's good. I miss when like the gallons of it like were cheaper. Because I used to get like the gallons of green tea before, and then I would get like the southern, but it was I used to buy a gallon of the southern, it was so good. Just wink it out of the you remember our fortnight days where you would come over and I'd have either like Coke or like a whole gallon of Arizona tea with me, or even the nights where you were at your folks.

SPEAKER_04 4:56

Stefan, how could I forget those? You're right. It would be like 11 o'clock in the morning, and I would just hear from your room.

SPEAKER_01 5:05

Yeah, folks, in case you didn't know, I was really fat. I mean, I still I'm I'm fat, but not as fat as I used to be. But I was fat and I would have like a Coke can right next to my bedside in case I got thirsty. Like instead of a water, it wouldn't even be water, it'd be like Coke, which is crazy to think about. Because that's like that's off that's a Big Back freaking thing.

SPEAKER_04 5:31

Okay, is Big Back a new term?

SPEAKER_01 5:33

Big back is basically, yeah, it's like a term of or big ah is another one of like you just eat a lot and you're fat or drink a lot, you're fat.

SPEAKER_04 5:41

Yeah, big back is funny.

SPEAKER_01 5:42

I like there's one person at work that's like, oh, you got big ah, and I'm like, oh heck no. So because I like they see me eating a slice of pizza like that our boss got or something like that, and then she's like, big uh. I'm like, what the heck, dude? But I have reached unk status apparently. Really? I have by several people at work that are younger.

SPEAKER_04 6:06

Is that a compliment?

SPEAKER_01 6:07

Apparently, yeah. I asked them, I was like, it's not a joke, right? Like it's actually a an uh like a good thing, and they're like, Yeah, if we like you, we'll call you unk. There's a different way of saying unk, though. Like if they're like, hey unk, whatever, then it's like, yeah, cool. But if they're like, oh, unk's over here, like then it's like that term, but I I have the good unk status from several uh kit uh kids in there, pretty much. They're like 16 and 20, 24 or whatever. I call them kids, but I'm 33. That's old.

SPEAKER_00 6:40

Stefan, don't say that we're old. I'm sorry. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:43

I'm a 90s kid, you know?

SPEAKER_00 6:45

So are you? Yes, I'm aware. Yeah. So what do we have in store today, Caleb? Well, first, we have to jump in. Oh, thank goodness. So glad it's not the crickets.

SPEAKER_02 7:00

I know. That was funny, though, that day. Really crap. I thought they were the same.

SPEAKER_04 7:08

All right, we're gonna get started. Oh, you got a whole book over there, I see. Kidding. Well, this is just my practice book of guitar. Oh, I just have the my phone on the stand so I don't have to hold it, and I can just be I can be free. Look at that.

SPEAKER_03 7:23

I'm free.

SPEAKER_04 7:26

My girlfriend won't stop playing so much chess. Hi, I'm from the East Coast, just outside of Boston. I have been with my girlfriend for roughly over a year now. We met at a museum. I guess when two people are bored on a weekend, that's what they do, and that's how we get how we found each other. That's so cute.

SPEAKER_01 7:49

You just go to a museum when you're bored.

SPEAKER_04 7:51

Who like Have you ever tried it? It might be fun. I mean, it might depend on that. What if you find like a really good-looking nerdy girl there and she's like, Wow, have you seen these whale bones?

SPEAKER_00 8:01

Have you seen them? Did you know the blue whale can reach up to the size of a school bush at full age?

SPEAKER_04 8:09

Yeah, what if she knows like facts like that?

SPEAKER_01 8:11

If she sounded like Mr. Smee from Peter Pan, there'd be no way.

SPEAKER_04 8:15

I hope she exclusively sounds like even if she was a goth girl baddie.

SPEAKER_01 8:21

Like she's just like randomly I'm like, oh wow, the Disney Museum. Pick a ping.

SPEAKER_04 8:25

If she's a non-goth girl fatty and sounds like that, I will date her. Oh gosh. I'm just kidding.

SPEAKER_01 8:33

I would say depending on the exhibit, though. Like, I mean, I guess, because like I went to two and one, or no, I went to three, because they had one for like mummies uh at the Grand Rapids Museum, and then there was the Titanic 100th year anniversary one where they brought otter wow, artifacts, not otter facts, artifacts from the the ship, like they brought like china plates and like uh the big piece, um, and then some other stuff, and then you got to put your hand on the iceberg and it was and then dip your hand in the water and see how long you could keep it in there, and it was set to the degrees of like what the people had uh like experienced and stuff.

SPEAKER_04 9:14

Was it cold?

SPEAKER_01 9:15

Yeah, it was dude, and then I pulled my hand out after like you did I lasted two minutes.

SPEAKER_04 9:22

You should have you should still have been there to this day, but you're not because you're weak. Dude, it was crazy. Just kidding.

SPEAKER_01 9:28

Like they in the movie they were like, Oh yeah, it feels like a thousand knives are stabbing you or whatever. And it's dude, when you yeah, it really feels like that. It's crazy.

SPEAKER_04 9:38

How cold was it? Do you know?

SPEAKER_01 9:39

I think it I think it was like 20 degrees or under. I think it was about it.

SPEAKER_04 9:44

Well, Stefan water freezes at 32.

SPEAKER_01 9:47

Really?

SPEAKER_04 9:47

Yeah. Hold on. Maybe what?

SPEAKER_01 9:50

Um yeah, look it up. Looking it up. Yeah, we're doing it up this time. We're not gonna wait till after the podcast.

SPEAKER_03 9:56

And now it's time for fun facts with your co-star Stefan. I need to get that as a as a jingle button.

SPEAKER_01 10:04

Titanic water degrees in 1912. If the phone wants to load. Wait, here it goes. Oh, yeah. It says thinking. Google is your best friend here at the Digital Fire Podcast. Uh, it was 28 degrees Fahrenheit or negative two degrees Celsius. What?

SPEAKER_04 10:28

How is it water then?

SPEAKER_01 10:30

Well, it's probably sea, it's salt water, so in the sea.

SPEAKER_04 10:33

Oh, you're right, and it's not so it's not freezing because it's probably moving.

SPEAKER_01 10:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 10:38

And there was still cracks of ice, right? Like there was uh they hit an iceberg, allegedly.

SPEAKER_01 10:44

So it uh apparent yeah, so uh it says the this water was below the freezing point of fresh water, yet remained liquid due to the salt content, creating a deadly environment that caused rapid hypothermia and unconsciousness for passengers within 15 to 45 minutes. And in two minutes of my hand in that water jug that they had set to that degree, I was like, I need to pull it out. Like it was cold.

SPEAKER_04 11:08

And what did you just read that they were in for 45 minutes? Yeah, 45 minutes. So I'm a wimp.

SPEAKER_01 11:13

Yeah, but um wimping it up over here, and then they had uh the what is it, the human body exhibit where like they show the veins like of how long they are. It was actually pretty cool like to learn like and see all that. Like, I'm like, dang, like the intestines like stretch forever, and they're just compacted in my like gut, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_04 11:35

They also say that we have enough nerves or veins or whatever to circle the globe or something like that. Like, is that actually true?

SPEAKER_01 11:43

Uh I would say the thing is one person, what I don't think one person. It's weird though, because the way that unless, like, I don't know, because the nerves that I remember seeing, like, back in I think it was like eighth grade, maybe or something, I remember, or maybe it was 11th grade. Um, they were long, like they filled up like a whole back room that they had along the back wall of it. But I'm like, I feel like they're not that long, but you never know because maybe they were just still compiling in that or to just give you an idea of like how long they can keep going, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_04 12:18

Yeah, because I don't think there's no there's any way one person's veins or nerves could circle the globe, but maybe I'm wrong. It just seems crazy. Not even Shaq.

SPEAKER_01 12:27

Like Shaq's like seven'eight or something like that. He's almost eight feet tall, or maybe he is eight eight feet, but yeah, he yeah, not even his veins would probably even stretch, but you never know.

SPEAKER_04 12:40

Yeah, that's something we're gonna look up over. Definitely. And if you know the answer, don't forget to comment.

SPEAKER_01 12:45

Yeah, you better comment right now.

SPEAKER_04 12:47

All right.

SPEAKER_01 12:50

So they so the this couple's in love with each other and they go to museums when they're bored. Well, that's where they met. Oh, that's where they met.

SPEAKER_04 12:56

That's where they met. We get along easily, but she seems to be obsessive about chess. I don't find that she plays it or I don't mind that she plays it and goes to tournaments, even though it would be nice to see her a bit more than I do. But I'm more talking about things like if we are walking through the park and we see a hawk grab an animal or something of the like, she'll say, another pawn down. What?

SPEAKER_02 13:26

Another pawn down?

SPEAKER_04 13:28

Yeah, well, pawn as a chest as a chest.

SPEAKER_02 13:30

That's crazy.

SPEAKER_04 13:35

This is just a small example, but I think you understand what I'm trying to say. Other times, if we see another couple, she'll say, Looks like that king found his queen. Oh my god. Not to just to me, not to them. They usually awkwardly smile, or not just to me, but also to them. They usually awkwardly smile with the occasional nice interaction. When Halloween came around this last year, she made paper mache king and queen pieces for us to wear around our heads. I'm not talking about crowns either. I'm talking about actual looking chess pieces, and it's just beyond corny for me. Maybe someone out there would find it cute, but it's a lot to me. Am I in the wrong for being a little put off by this?

SPEAKER_01 14:27

Check me.

SPEAKER_04 14:30

You beat me to it.

SPEAKER_01 14:31

I know. Um, I would say, sorry, I had to adjust the mic for a second because I was like slouching. Um it's a little weird for sure. I mean, it's not like it's probably a daily thing that she's like, yeah, let's wear it to the museum, or hey, let's wear it out to go to the gas station or something.

SPEAKER_04 14:50

Yeah, she does he just says it's for Halloween, like this last year.

SPEAKER_01 14:53

I'm like, okay, that's fine. Like, I don't know why he's making a big deal about it, but I'm like, and I mean, I okay, the only thing that I can side with this dude on is like her going to the these chess tournaments like crazy. If she's making money, then I wouldn't be complaining at that point. Like if it was like, oh, a tournament's $5,000 prize, you know, yeah, and she wins. It's like, shoot, go for it.

SPEAKER_04 15:16

But what if it was you to go into like Smash Bros. tournaments and your girlfriend was like, Well, I want to see you more. Wouldn't it be kind of hard to be like, yeah, let me give up my or whatever it is that you would be into?

SPEAKER_01 15:28

I feel like if you wanted to stream or you wanted to go ride out your motorcycle, it's like a weird I I'm not gonna say like a gray line, but it's like it can go both ways because it's like again, like my my point of view or my uh what do you call it, my thing, I guess, is like if you're making money off it, regardless, like depending on I would say how much, like if I was winning 25 bucks per Smash Brothers tournament, probably wouldn't be worth it. And I'd be like, okay, yeah, I'll I'll go see my girlfriend more. But if it was like five thousand dollars or ten thousand dollars and I'm playing Smash Bros., I don't feel like if I'm winning that money, you shouldn't be complaining because if I'm putting it towards us, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_04 16:15

Yeah, like if if it's putting Stefan, if you can find me a tournament, a Smash Bros tournament that's given out ten thousand bucks, I will go buy a switch and practice daily.

SPEAKER_01 16:24

Well, Zero, the guy that is like the top, like the best Smash Bros player ever. Yeah, like he's won thousands upon thousands of dollars, but that's like really intense Smash Bros. tournaments. That's not even like that's hardcore, like your house is on the line, like Smash Bros tournaments. And yeah, I mean, like the most I ever won was 500 bucks, and that was like on a Twitch tournament that was like um they said like grand prize was like 500 bucks, and uh second prize was like 200, and then third was like a hundred or something like that. And I beat a YouTuber who was trying to be like a really like intense Smash Bros player, and he played as Luigi at one point. I remember that, of course he lost, and I was playing as Meta Knight, and this was also Smash Bros. for Wii U. This wasn't Smash Bros Ultimate, Smash Bros.

SPEAKER_04 17:21

for Wii U is just like Smash 4, right? It's just Smash Bros.

SPEAKER_01 17:24

Yeah, because they had Smash uh it was Smash for Wii U and Smash for 3DS, pretty much. Um yeah, it's just Smash 4, either way you look at it.

SPEAKER_04 17:35

I'm trying to think. I think I had the DS version.

SPEAKER_01 17:40

Yeah, you I had the DS version at first, and then as soon as they released the the second one, like for the Wii U, because it was coming out like two months later, I immediately sold my 3DS and Smash Bros copy, and then I just bought the Wii U and the Wii U version of Smash Bros. So I dude, I'm dedicated to the Smash Bros. That's why that's why I bought a switch because it's every time I'd come over, I'd lose.

SPEAKER_04 18:01

I don't think I think I've won a few matches against you, but it's seldom.

SPEAKER_01 18:07

Right. Well, I mean, I haven't played Smash in a minute.

SPEAKER_04 18:10

Yeah, but you'd still beat me.

SPEAKER_01 18:11

Probably with my main Pichu. Right.

SPEAKER_04 18:15

Didn't you used to come to the Smash nights that I'd have and you just like own everybody? It was so fun.

SPEAKER_01 18:21

Because you're you had a friend, or he is still your friend as far as I know, Luigi. Yeah, yeah, like we would play upstairs when it was one day, and it was where I met Alfredo, your one friend.

SPEAKER_04 18:32

Yeah, and then at that house that we lived at for a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 18:35

Yeah, and then um who and then, yeah, because I dressed up in your Jack Sparrow costume and uh like my girl.

SPEAKER_04 18:41

Oh yeah, we played hide and seek with the candle, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:45

That was fun, it was scary, but it was fun. Yeah, it was, and then I yeah, I was like, bro, I'm like Captain Fat Sparrow because it was like I was still big at the time. Captain Calories.

SPEAKER_04 18:56

That's what you oh yeah, Captain Calories. Remember when we did the the podcast with that? Oh yeah, where you dressed up as Captain Calories, Captain Calories, yeah, dude.

SPEAKER_01 19:09

I remember it was on video too. Like that costume was like holding on for dear life with the button. I I guess it was bigger back then.

SPEAKER_04 19:18

I gotta get video back, but whatever. That'll come with time.

SPEAKER_01 19:22

So with this dude though, yeah, that's it. Um, I think for the Halloween thing, it that's fine. But like with her and like going to tournaments and stuff like that, like yeah, I think I think he does have have some say in regards to like again, yeah. Yeah, I want to hang out with your babe more, and she's like, No, I need to win this tournament to win my father's honor, like stuff like that.

SPEAKER_04 19:45

I don't know what she's doing, or he could try going to the tournaments with her, right?

SPEAKER_01 19:49

Like being like support, right? You're gonna complain about not seeing her enough. It's like go to the tournaments with her, bruh.

SPEAKER_04 19:55

Yeah, and it can't be that often.

SPEAKER_01 19:57

I I don't think it's not like a weekly event or anything like that.

SPEAKER_04 20:00

I wouldn't think I mean maybe it's once a week, I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 20:02

But if it's once a week, it's once a week.

SPEAKER_04 20:04

It's like yeah, that's just that's not a big deal. He doesn't specify. Um, but how far are you willing to go as far as Halloween costumes with your significant other? Like how like dorky or dweeby would you I go as a snow bunny.

SPEAKER_01 20:18

You would, okay. Where the whole bunny ears, you know, the butt the bunny tail on the butt, you know.

unknown 20:24

I'm kidding.

SPEAKER_01 20:26

I would um I think the craziest Halloween costume I ever did was Bob Ross. And I, you know, don't condone to this, ladies and gentlemen, but I did have a little bit much of uh alcohol. I did.

SPEAKER_04 20:41

I had a Bob Ross would never Bob Ross, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:44

And I was like, let's paint a little happy bush right here, and I would like paint on people's faces and stuff like that. Yeah, and I had like the little what do you call it, the the pastel or something, I think it's called.

SPEAKER_04 20:54

Yeah, I know what you're talking about.

SPEAKER_01 20:55

I don't know what they're called, but yeah, and I would just have like the little dabs of paint on being like, There you go, a little bush right here.

SPEAKER_02 21:00

Happy little accidents, but they they didn't get mad either, they loved it because they were like drunk Bob Ross. And I had the beard and the afro and everything.

SPEAKER_01 21:11

But they called me fat Ross because I was still when was this? This was at John's place in I think it was actually the same year I moved in, 2023. Uh or no, no, no, because I moved in Nov no, it was because I was upstairs in uh well, it used to be my niece's room before she was old enough because she was still like a baby.

SPEAKER_04 21:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:34

So yeah, I uh I was staying in there in her old room. Um, and then I just paid 300 bucks a month because I was like, I'll just save money and get my own place eventually. But yeah, it was it was fun. So that was the craziest, and then the last Halloween party I remember going to, I dressed up as Negan from The Walking Dead, and I had the bat that I ordered from the Walking Dead's official website, and then And I had the leather jacket and the the ascot or whatever that he wears, or the scarf.

SPEAKER_04 22:06

And little pig, little pig. Were people afraid that they were gonna die when they saw you?

SPEAKER_01 22:10

They did, they saw me. And they're just like, holy crap! Don't care.

SPEAKER_03 22:19

Where's Rick?

SPEAKER_01 22:21

That was man, I the Negan really brought a lot to The Walking Dead.

SPEAKER_04 22:26

Yeah, and then when his arc was kind of done, I think that's where it really started to go downhill. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:33

Yeah, because what the last villain really was the governor. Like the biggest one, I think.

SPEAKER_04 22:39

Yeah, well, there was like the cannibal place. Oh, Andrew.

SPEAKER_01 22:42

And then what was it called? It wasn't Andrea or Alexandria. It was Terminus.

SPEAKER_04 22:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:49

Yeah, Terminus was the cannibal. Yeah, but even then, that only lasted like the one episode. And that was it. Yeah, it was just they found their way to Terminus following the railroad tracks, and then they were like, oh, okay. And then Rick immediately picked up, like, this is a little strange. What's where'd you get all the meat? And then they found out it was people, and then they were gonna execute them and all this other crap. And then it, yeah, it only lasted the one episode, and that was it.

SPEAKER_04 23:14

Oh, yeah. Yeah, so then like the governor is what season three?

SPEAKER_01 23:18

Governor is yeah, like season three, season four. Cause then I think it lasted until like the prison where they all got split up after everything happened. And then uh yeah, and then Neging came around and bada bing, bada boom. He fed him spaghetti. Yeah, so I would say with this guy, like it just if if if you want to go hang out with her, go to a couple tournaments with her. You don't have to go to all of them, just go to a couple of them.

SPEAKER_04 23:46

Stop being a big baby.

SPEAKER_01 23:48

Yeah, stop being a big baby.

SPEAKER_00 23:49

Put on put on your king costume and your diapy.

SPEAKER_02 23:57

And just go and have a good time. Yeah, for real.

SPEAKER_04 24:02

This guy needs to get over it. All right, we're headed to oh. Stephen put his finger up to tell me that we're gonna wait. He's finishing the watermelon. Nama two! Yes. Is my ex stalking me on the beach? Why on the beach?

SPEAKER_01 24:20

Like, that's a weirdest thing.

SPEAKER_04 24:22

That's where I would go. I'd hide under the sand. You know what I would do?

SPEAKER_01 24:24

Could you imagine if he was like one of them little crabs that like poke their eye out like of the sand and then just like poke it back down? I wish I had that power. Stalking her like that.

SPEAKER_04 24:36

What I would do is I'd dig a hole, like how they catch seagulls. Put a towel over there.

unknown 24:45

Come here.

SPEAKER_04 24:48

I think my ex-girlfriend may be crazy or it may be a ghost. Oh, I'm scared, Stephan.

SPEAKER_00 24:54

Me too. Is this one of our scary episodes, Caleb?

SPEAKER_04 24:57

I don't know. We'll see. When we were date. When we were dating, we would always go out to the beach. We live on the west coast in Oregon. There's really cool sections of cliff rock that we see. Cliff rock. Cliff rock that we call sea cliffs. That makes more sense. Some of them you can jump off into the water. It's filled with stunning view views. I can't talk today. Veals while also giving that adventurous feel. Her and I would go here quite often and then go a little further down off the beaten path, seemingly away from the noise and the people. Every time we'd go out there, we'd be the only ones. It was our spot, and we loved it. Until it's always until that scary, spooky night. I still have a connection to this place as I was the one who showed it to her. So I've been visiting all my life.

SPEAKER_01 25:56

Oh, it's a guy that's getting stalked by a girl. I thought it was a girl getting stalked by a guy. I'm like, that would have been more terrifying at that point.

SPEAKER_04 26:03

I don't know. I feel like getting stalked by a girl is more scary.

SPEAKER_01 26:06

Yeah, maybe. She's like the ring kind of like chick. Yeah. The big bangs jumping out of a TV, going.

SPEAKER_04 26:13

It still hurts thinking about all the times we've been there. But lately I visited, and it's usually a bit later in the day, so not pitch black, but you know, pre-sunset. The orange sky. Well, what would you call that?

SPEAKER_01 26:27

No, not pre-sunset. I don't think it's such a weird terminology for it, but I mean, I guess.

SPEAKER_04 26:34

Yeah, I mean, it's like he could have said, like, you know, the time just before the sunset or something.

SPEAKER_00 26:41

Before sunset. Before sunrise. I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 26:44

Pre-sunset. Pre-sunrise. Where the west winds blew on the I hear rustling in the trees and peculiar bird noises. Almost like a fake owl or another bird. You just open the tree. Who? Sometimes I go out to check. Mind you, the sun is still out, so I can see clearly if anyone were to leave or arrive. After I check and go back to swimming or relaxing, there is no noise. As if when I went back to check, they or whatever was there left. I doubt I'd scare a bird because birds and trees never freak out when I walk through the woods, if they're high enough up. Now my ex was a pleasant person, but she's one of one of the, if not the only person who knows of this place, and that I'd be there. And I don't think she'd do something like this. Maybe she thinks it's funny or a way of trying to get us back together. Thoughts? You think it's a ghost?

SPEAKER_01 27:48

So he hasn't really seen the X.

SPEAKER_04 27:52

No. That's why he he may think it's a ghost.

SPEAKER_01 27:55

Ah Like You don't think it could be a ghost? I think he's just being well, did she die? Like, is there any kind of thing?

SPEAKER_04 28:04

He doesn't say that because he says, Do you think that she thinks it's funny or it's just a way for us to get back together? Like, I is she just trying to be funny.

SPEAKER_01 28:11

I think he is he's just obsessed with her at this point, and it's more or less of like, oh, maybe she's still thinking about me and she wants to get back together, so she must be stalking me with all these weird human noises and who shree.

SPEAKER_04 28:27

Who, but uh I just did it there. Who? Um, then what would be making the noises? Like if if he's clearly thinking they're not real, or do you think he's just making that up in the head in his head and they actually are real bird noises?

SPEAKER_01 28:41

Yeah, it probably is real bird noises because it's like okay, depends on how crazy this X is, or whatever, like that. You know what I mean? Because it's like if he had been seeing her, like if there was more context of like, oh yeah, you know, I've been seeing her, you know, through the streets or you know, our usual spots we used to go to that I go to or whatever, and then all of a sudden she's climbing a tree like George of the Jungle and being like, Oh, I see you, with like a binocular or something like that. Then yeah, at that point I'd be like, Okay, she's actually stalking, but I think at this point it's more of a mind game with him, where it's you're you're still thinking about her, and you're thinking about her a lot, and so now she's in your head rent-free everywhere.

SPEAKER_04 29:27

So um, but what about the rustling of the leaves? Like you'd think he'd see something.

SPEAKER_01 29:32

There's a thing called wind. Maybe it's the AC unit.

SPEAKER_04 29:42

He goes into the trees, there's a random sliding door with the blinds moving back and forth.

SPEAKER_02 29:47

Like an in-wall unit just attached to a tree.

SPEAKER_01 29:52

Yeah, like I mean, if you're outside and it's windy, no duh, it's gonna be rustling leaves and stuff like that. Like, what wind doesn't exist in that?

SPEAKER_04 30:02

Yeah, but don't you think he would have brought that up? Like, oh, it was a windy day, and I happen to hear he doesn't I guess he doesn't say that it was windy or not, so we don't know.

SPEAKER_01 30:08

I mean, if it was really windy, like I'm sure he probably would put that in there, but like I But also, like, I feel like rustling is not the word to use for wind.

SPEAKER_04 30:18

No, like if you hear rustling in the leaves, you'd know like something's in there, like an animal or something like that. Yeah, like it's clear that something was what just walked or ran through it.

SPEAKER_01 30:28

I mean, and he's also too, like you said, like there's birds and other stuff out there. Yeah, so I'm like at that point, it could just be an animal just getting close because they're curious or something. Again, I think a human is pretty easy to spot, especially when that's true.

SPEAKER_04 30:42

Unless she's like in a ghillie suit.

SPEAKER_01 30:43

Yeah, if she's in a ghillie suit or she's in an owl costume.

SPEAKER_04 30:47

That's a really big owl.

SPEAKER_00 30:50

Whoa dang, it's almost human-like.

SPEAKER_04 30:54

Oh, that would freak me out. If I was out in the woods and I saw a human-sized owl, like clearly somebody in costume, I would lose my mind.

SPEAKER_01 31:01

I'd freak out and run. That's crazy. Yeah, yeah. And two, it this is happening like during daylight. So it's not like it's at night where you're hearing like the little pebble tap your window or something stupid like that. Like you're on the second story and you're like, you hear, Hey Jacob, and you're freaking ping, ping, like they usually do. Yeah, it's it's just all in his head at this point, I feel like it's not her literally stalking you or anything like that. It's just him. That's what I believe. Through the at least through the context that we received, that's what I believe.

SPEAKER_04 31:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:38

Yeah. It'd be more fun if it was the crazy axe, but it would be, but I highly doubt it in this case.

SPEAKER_04 31:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:45

Yeah. Alright, dude.

SPEAKER_04 31:49

Don't ever write in here again if you're gonna give us some data.

SPEAKER_00 31:51

Actually, you're banned. Yeah, you are banned. Guess what number we're on? Ooh, are we on my favorite number? I think so. All right, we're on number three.

unknown 32:02

Woo!

SPEAKER_04 32:03

That one was that one was a little weak, but what the number three or the woo. My woo. It's because I ate that pizza and I got that grease.

SPEAKER_01 32:11

Yeah, but that was good pizza. It's just it it almost feels like it's like overstuffing at times. Like I had four slices and I'm like, oh my god.

SPEAKER_04 32:18

Yeah, and especially I know I'm gonna wake up in the middle of the night really thirsty from the pretzel crust.

SPEAKER_01 32:23

Yeah, no kidding, dude. I have like two water bottles by my bedside every night because if I'm like almost halfway done with the other one and I finish it off, because water's a really good way to start your morning because it gets everything like functioning properly. Yeah, then I just like have the other one right there. Like, I have Fiji.

SPEAKER_00 32:38

Fiji water is so good. It is, but it's expensive.

SPEAKER_01 32:42

Yeah, it is, but it's worth it. Like, I get like the big jug too, or the top jug.

SPEAKER_04 32:45

It's almost like creamy, yeah. Like it's like super smooth. I don't know what it is.

SPEAKER_01 32:49

It's just it's more refreshing than just like even like the Aldi spring water that I usually get. Like, I like spring spring water a lot more compared to like purified, but like because something with purified it just tastes off.

SPEAKER_04 33:02

Yeah, and well, it tastes like chlorine, right? It tastes like there's chemicals in it because there probably is.

SPEAKER_01 33:07

But spring water, it's just like when it was really hot out, like at the apartment, and I had my windows open because I don't have a fan yet in there to like because I don't want to run my AC unit really. I'm used to just not having Stefan. When was it really hot out? It was there was one day it was like 80 degrees out. Oh, that's right. Yeah, it's gonna get a lot worse. I am I'm fine with that because again, I'm used to not having AC. So but spring water, it's just a lot it's just a lot more refreshing, it feels like. Yeah, especially with some ice cubes in there, which you apparently need to get some ice cubes, buddy.

SPEAKER_04 33:42

I do. Well, what are you gonna use it for? How are you gonna fit it in your can?

SPEAKER_01 33:46

Yeah, because I'm gonna cram like a thumb-size stick of ice down.

SPEAKER_04 33:50

I should guess you get a thumb-size ice cube maker. It's because doing it that way is so is such a pain.

SPEAKER_01 33:58

Yeah, but so here's the trick though. If you do it with like steaming water, like if you get the water to like get really hot and you can leave it in the fridge for like a few hours, it actually freezes faster than if you did like regular, like normal, like lukewarm or cold. It's weird how it works. I think it's a chemical reaction, I think, between like how hot, like the because the water is evaporating and then it just and then it shrinks into like the ice. Yeah, because that's what I do from now on. Cause I tried it, because I was like, I never knew that because I always filled it with cold water before, and I was like, oh well, I'll try the hot water, and then like I think three or four hours later, freaking frozen.

SPEAKER_04 34:37

Yeah, yeah, but who wants to make ice cubes when you can just buy one of those refrigerators?

SPEAKER_01 34:42

It's like well, it's still using water to make them. Yeah, I know that because it's not like there's a grocery store just constantly filling up the ice in the back.

SPEAKER_04 34:53

If you like open your refrigerator and it's like some guy's like uh hello, I can explain like the Spongebob guy.

SPEAKER_02 35:02

Yeah. Wait, what episode was that?

SPEAKER_01 35:05

That was where uh Spongebob was running away from Sandy for something because Sandy was like panicking, like SpongeBob, where'd you go? And then she lifted the house, and then that's when that guy was there and he goes, uh, I can explain. And then, like, oh, I think it was the butt episode where he broke his butt and they had to like staple it and use tape, and then Sandy was like trying to like kick his butt or something, like in karate, and then he's like, No, I can't do it, I can't risk it. And then, yeah, and then he just kept running away, and that's when the guy came out because then he I remember them she was on the clams, like sliding down the mountain, and then he just randomly showed up from a snowman sliding down next to her. He goes, Oh, I can explain. Like, they did it like two or three times in the same episode.

SPEAKER_04 35:55

I was like, Oh my gosh, after we watch this, I don't have memory of any sponge rap episodes until you bring it up.

SPEAKER_01 36:02

I want to know how is he gonna explain that? That's what I want to know. A grown man dressed as a kid on a tricycle, licking a lollipop with a propeller hat.

SPEAKER_00 36:13

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:15

I forgot that that's what it was. Yeah, it was, and then it had like ice cream truck music in the background, too. Yeah, it was weird because he was licking it, and then that's when he said the line. I was like, what the heck? But as a kid, it's funny, but as an adult, it's like you got some weird kings, bud.

SPEAKER_04 36:30

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 36:32

Oh man. We're gonna move on.

SPEAKER_04 36:34

Yeah, we're gonna move on. My boyfriend keeps giving me humiliating gifts in front of my family. Ooh. Hi, hosts. I have been listening, they didn't even use our names. Shame on them. By the way, you can send your stories, uh, digitalfirepodcast at gmail.com, and now you can send us a text mail, text message, or a voicemail through the uh I thought you were but you because you looked at me, you were like, and now like I was supposed to say, like, what?

SPEAKER_01 37:05

What was I supposed to do?

SPEAKER_04 37:06

No, no, no. What my email or my no no um yeah, give them your phone number so that you get your phone blow.

SPEAKER_01 37:15

Perfect.

SPEAKER_04 37:16

Yeah. There's a link on our on all the descriptions and on our podcast that if you you could do uh send it's called send us fan mail, which if you wanted to send fan mail, you can, but you can also do your stories through text message or voicemail. I think it'd be really fun to play like somebody, like somebody's voice on the phone.

SPEAKER_01 37:35

That would be kind of cool. Yeah, you guys should do that, like that would be fun to do, or at least like even like again, text us or something like that. Like that would be pretty fun to do, is just see like a text come through or whatnot. You know, data messages may apply. But still, that's pretty cool. I didn't know that that was a thing now.

SPEAKER_03 37:53

So that's perfect. Look at that.

SPEAKER_01 37:56

And you cage perfect. And I mean, I feel like I'd be fine if they were like, dear Stefan or dear Caleb, it was a dark and scary night here on October 13th, 1942.

SPEAKER_04 38:08

Yeah, you can send us mystery stories too, even though it is technically a dating podcast.

SPEAKER_00 38:13

But you know, it's a mystery dating story.

SPEAKER_04 38:15

Mystery dating story. Look at that.

SPEAKER_00 38:17

Perfect. A new series coming to you live.

SPEAKER_04 38:22

I'm 29 and my boyfriend is 31.

SPEAKER_01 38:25

You.

SPEAKER_04 38:25

And we've been together a little over three years. That's a long time. How many three? Yeah, uh over three. A little over three years.

SPEAKER_01 38:32

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_04 38:33

Dang. In almost every other way, he's thoughtful. He remembers my coffee order, texts me good luck before meetings, rubs my shoulders when I'm stressed, all that stuff.

SPEAKER_02 38:44

Creep.

SPEAKER_04 38:44

But until. Which is why this situation makes me feel like I'm losing my mind.

SPEAKER_01 38:52

Oh god, another girl with like a good boy syndrome. He's almost too perfect.

SPEAKER_04 38:58

Yeah, the problem is gifts. Not bad gifts, not cheap gifts, specifically humiliating gifts. Why didn't you just say embarrassing? Like, why why what's it?

SPEAKER_01 39:10

Humiliating does kind of sound funny, though. Humiliating gifts.

SPEAKER_04 39:15

And always in front of my family. The first time it happened was my birthday two years ago. My parents hosted dinner, my sisters came over, candles, cake, the whole thing. My boyfriend handed me this huge wrapped box with a giant grin on his face. I'm actually excited to hear about what everyone gathered around because it looked expensive. Inside was You're gonna Stefan, what's your guess? Unfortunately, I already read it, so I can't make a guess. But you have to think that it's humiliating.

SPEAKER_01 39:49

That's humiliating.

SPEAKER_04 39:50

So it can't be like, oh, was it a giant?

SPEAKER_01 39:52

Like was it a picture of SpongeBob at the Christmas party?

SPEAKER_04 39:56

Incorrect. But close. Close. A full-size cardboard cutout of myself.

SPEAKER_01 40:02

That's creepy. Yeah, how did he that's not humiliating? That's creepy.

SPEAKER_04 40:07

Where do you even go to get those?

SPEAKER_01 40:08

Right. Like, okay, for what are you gonna do? Go to Walgreens and be like, yeah, I need this, like in a poster cutout of my girlfriend, and it's gonna be a gag Christmas gift. He's like an all-suspicious at Walgreens.

SPEAKER_04 40:19

Man, I also hate picking it up. Like you're just walking out in like a suitcase, and it's just this random girl that nobody knows.

SPEAKER_01 40:25

Just like, what the heck did he make?

SPEAKER_04 40:29

Not even a glamorous picture. It was from a candid Facebook photo where I was mid-sneeze at a baseball game.

SPEAKER_02 40:37

Everyone's actually pretty good.

SPEAKER_01 40:43

I thought it was just like a random picture of her, like just like posing, like like you know, like how girls do.

SPEAKER_03 40:48

Like, oh my god, I'm so cute. Like, kawaii.

SPEAKER_01 40:52

And then, like, just that that's perfect.

SPEAKER_04 40:55

Yeah. Now it's less creepy.

SPEAKER_01 40:56

Yeah, now it's less creepy.

SPEAKER_04 40:58

It's just kind of more funny.

SPEAKER_01 40:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 40:59

Everyone burst out laughing. My younger brother literally fell onto the couch wheezing. My mom kept saying, Oh my gosh. My boyfriend was laughing so hard he could barely breathe. And I laughed too because what else was I supposed to do? But afterward, when we got in the car, I told him quietly that I didn't love being the punchline in front of everyone. He kissed my hand and said, Babe, come on. It was funny. Then came Christmas.

SPEAKER_01 41:30

Then came Christmas.

SPEAKER_04 41:32

His family and mine do a combined Christmas Eve every year. Really? Like you're not even married in like your whole family. Whatever.

SPEAKER_01 41:40

I mean, if they've been together sorry for yawning. Yeah, don't do that again. I know. Sorry. My bad. Don't take it out of my pay cut. They um I mean, if they've been together for like over three years, at that point, if you haven't if the parents haven't met each other, yeah, that'd be kind of weird.

SPEAKER_04 41:59

But but I'm just wondering if it's his whole family and her whole family.

SPEAKER_01 42:02

Like are his brother's just the parents and something like that. I mean, okay, if it's like a small family get-togethering like that, like mom and dad's brother and sisters, that's fine. But if you're like bringing like your aunt and uncle and your third cousin twice removed, and like you that creepy uncle that you have that just stares in the back, like like you'd obviously that would be kind of weird to do. I don't know what brought me to the creepy uncle that stands in the back.

SPEAKER_04 42:32

It's always the uncle that's creepy. That's what I hate.

SPEAKER_01 42:34

And I'm an uncle and same here. Yeah. I love bullying my niece and nephew, though. It's pretty great.

SPEAKER_04 42:40

It is fun.

SPEAKER_01 42:41

Yeah. Of course, your nephew's too old to bully. I have new ones though.

SPEAKER_04 42:45

Oh, you do? Younger nieces and nephews now that I can make fun of.

SPEAKER_01 42:50

I'm about to have a newborn niece in I think September. I think. Or June. Wow, that's a little bit of a gap.

SPEAKER_04 43:02

Yeah. That's a lot of bit of a gap.

SPEAKER_01 43:04

One of the two. I mean, I know Tori was she was pregnant in January at some point because she couldn't ride her motorcycle anymore because she was like, I don't want to, you know, get no motorcycle wreck.

SPEAKER_04 43:16

Well, who's riding their motorcycle in January anyway?

SPEAKER_01 43:18

Yeah, you're right. That's well, yeah, you're right. Yeah, well, I think it was weird because during the January time it was still somewhat warm enough to where you could ride your bike. Like there was no snow.

SPEAKER_04 43:29

Steph in January was awful this year.

SPEAKER_01 43:32

No, not this year, it was last year.

SPEAKER_04 43:34

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 43:35

Yeah. Or no, she wasn't. No, yeah, because that was with Easy. Yeah, because that was with Easy, my nephew, and then she got like Prego again like shortly after, and it's like, dude.

SPEAKER_04 43:46

Some people just don't know when to quit.

SPEAKER_01 43:48

No, they don't. You remember the the uh before I do something stupid, like the one family that we used to go to uh school with at Vanguard. You know who I'm talking about. They had like 14 or 15 kids.

SPEAKER_04 44:06

Oh, yeah. The hockey team is named after pretty yeah, yeah. The hockey team. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 44:13

Dude, that's crazy. I'm like, bro, I mean, but they're their tax cuts though that they get from like the children.

SPEAKER_04 44:20

Yeah, but there were so many of them I couldn't ever keep up.

SPEAKER_01 44:23

Think about it though. If you had like 2,000 bucks like per kid and there's 14, like that's crazy.

SPEAKER_00 44:31

That would be nice.

SPEAKER_01 44:32

Yeah. Yeah. Dude, I'd pay my mortgage for like the next like two, three months ahead and just save the rest of my paychecks for whatever.

SPEAKER_04 44:40

Me too.

SPEAKER_01 44:41

Shoot.

SPEAKER_04 44:42

I would invest it. I would buy PlayStations.

SPEAKER_01 44:45

Same. And then just scalp them, sell them for like 10 times the same.

SPEAKER_04 44:50

Isn't that what happened at the beginning when PS5 came out?

SPEAKER_01 44:52

Like it the they said, like, all right, you can place your online order for pre-order right now. And then as soon as you clicked the thing open to pre-order, after punching in all your information, the site crashed. Because everybody just immediately bought like a PS5. And then when they were going into retail stores, they were buying them in bulk. And then one guy or a few people I think stole semi-trucks worth, somehow, semi-trucks. Um, and they put them all in their garage, and then they were basically scalping them and selling them for like $2,000 a piece. Like one dude found an entire garage, and I think he had like over a hundred and five uh a hundred PS5s. I'm like, that's crazy, dude. And he selling them for two thousand a pop, and he got arrested for them, clearly. But there was another guy that was like, yeah, all the scalpers, they were right, because now PS5s are like a thousand dollars. It's crazy. Gaming is now a luxury, it's no longer a oh, I need to have therapy for $400 with some $50 games.

SPEAKER_04 45:53

Stephan compared to the third world video games, I've always been a luxury.

SPEAKER_01 45:57

Yeah, you're right. I see the third world stuff on TikTok where they're like cutting hair with like a razor and like the the old 1912 things or whatever, like where you hand cut them, like they're scissors, but then the razor's right there and it right up there.

SPEAKER_04 46:11

I bet there are some bomb haircuts though.

SPEAKER_01 46:13

Probably. It wouldn't surprise me, but the way that they like do some of the stuff with the head, like they slap the head and stuff for like a head massage, and they do like a bunch of other stuff. I'm like, it's crazy, but it's funny. So anyway, sneezing, she didn't like it, and then he was like, Come on, babe, it was funny.

SPEAKER_04 46:31

And then came Christmas, and then came Christmas. And then his family his family and her family do a combined Christmas, which already stresses me out because there are like 20 people there. We do gifts one by one around the tree. He gives me this tiny velvet box, and it's a small cardboard cutoff. I just can't imagine. Everyone starts oooing because they think it's jewelry. Actually, they're ooing. I open it and it's a pair of custom earrings shaped like rotisserie chickens. What is I don't even know what to say. What is this chick complaining about? Okay, maybe, maybe it's kind of funny, but I can also see her being a little annoyed that it's a Christmas gift. Now here's my thing. If he didn't get something else, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 47:21

If he didn't get something else and it was just that, I'm like, okay, I'd be a little like ticked off.

SPEAKER_04 47:27

Yeah. But like if it was just if he got her the chicken earrings and then another cardboard cutout, I'd be sad. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 47:35

But this time, like she's sneezing from another angle or something. I mean, yeah, I I'd say, like, yeah, it's it's again, it's funny, it's a gag gift, but like at the same time, it's like if she's not getting something else in return for it, it's kind of like okay, bud.

SPEAKER_04 47:50

Like, yeah, like the gag.

SPEAKER_01 47:51

But the earrings are definitely like dumbed down compared to a cardboard cutout of your girl sneezing. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 47:58

And that's not even that bad. Like, rotisserie chickens are right. I don't know. I don't not elegant tiny chickens, big, shiny golden chickens dangling from hooks. He had apparently ordered them because one time I ate half a Costco chicken after getting high and called it self-care. Drug use on our podcast. Never again. Do not write in.

SPEAKER_01 48:25

In fact, if we see your number pop up for texting or email, you're fired. Yeah, we're calling police. We are. You're done. I mean, that you know, I ain't gonna lie, that's pretty impressive eating like a whole rotisserie chicken.

SPEAKER_04 48:39

Actually, it was just half.

SPEAKER_01 48:40

Oh, or half of one.

SPEAKER_04 48:41

She clearly wasn't that high.

SPEAKER_01 48:42

No, if she was really high, like shaggy, like then at that point. Yeah, yeah, it pulls like, oh boy, I'm hungry, scoop, and then like smushes the sandwich.

SPEAKER_04 48:52

Like, those sandwiches always made me so hungry when I was a kid. They looked so good.

SPEAKER_01 48:57

Or you know what got me was like the really long subway sandwiches they would do that just keep going and going.

SPEAKER_04 49:04

And they'd just be like, Yeah, they just hop. Yeah, and they always topped him with everything.

SPEAKER_01 49:11

Yeah, you know what would it would irk me so much? I almost said something else. It it like it irked me because I'm like, it had the toothpick with the olive, and I'm like, they just ate the toothpick.

SPEAKER_04 49:24

Oh, yeah, they did.

SPEAKER_01 49:25

Yeah, because it wasn't even like, oh, they just went like popped off the little olive and called it good. It was just like literally they ate the toothpick. I'm like, oh, really?

SPEAKER_04 49:34

It always made it seem like it hurt.

SPEAKER_01 49:35

Like, yeah, like it just stabbed right through your roof in the mouth. I'm like, ooh.

SPEAKER_04 49:41

Again, everyone howling with laughter. My dad asking me to model them, my aunt taking pictures, my cousin posting it on Instagram before I even got home. I wanted to disappear. I told him later that night I felt embarrassed again, and he said, I was taking taking things too seriously, and that my family loves our bit. Our bit? I didn't realize I was in a comedy duo. The worst one happened last month for my birthday. Oh my gosh, another present. Oh this is the moment that made me write in. Oh, hopefully, this is the last one.

SPEAKER_02 50:16

My family write in or the last gift. The last gift.

SPEAKER_04 50:22

My family rented a private room at a restaurant. I was already emotional because my grandmother had recently gotten sick. And honestly, I just wanted one peaceful evening.

SPEAKER_01 50:33

That's bad timing right there on his part, then at this point.

SPEAKER_04 50:38

Yeah, it is. Yeah, sad hoard the end of dinner, my boyfriend wheels out this giant covered object on a luggage cart like he's on a game show. He makes this whole speech about how I'm always losing things. Then he removes the sheet dramatically. It's a six-foot printed banner collage titled Where Did She Leave at This Time? It was covered in photos of all the places I've accidentally left my phone, wallet, or keys over the years at restaurants, at the gym, at his apartment, at my parents' house. One photo was literally me asleep on a train with my mouth open. People were crying, laughing. My sister had to leave the room, and I just sat there smiling so much so hard my cheeks hurt because I could physically feel everyone watching my reaction. It just sucks that cheeks has two meanings now. You're right.

SPEAKER_02 51:39

My boyfriend. The fact you just casually slid it in there. Cheeks have a double meaning now.

SPEAKER_04 51:49

My boyfriend leaned down and whispered, see, huge hit. I don't know why, but hearing that made something in me crack. Because the gift wasn't for me. It was for the audience. That's what finally clicked. The point isn't making me happy. The point is getting a reaction. And now my birthdays make me anxious. Christmas makes me anxious. I dread opening anything from him in public because I feel like I'm waiting to find out what embarrassing thing he's noticed about me this year. What hurts is that if I complain afterward, I become the uptight girlfriend who can't take a joke. Meanwhile, everyone else remembers how funny it was. Last week I tried oh my goodness. Last week I tried talking to him again very calmly. I told him I need gifts to feel thoughtful and performative. Performative. I told him I need gifts to feel thoughtful, not performative. My bad. I said, I don't mind occasional goofy presents, but I hate being publicly embarrassed. And he got defensive immediately. He said, Your family loves me because I keep things fun. You're overthinking this. I can't believe you're still upset about gifts. Most girlfriends would love a guy who puts in this much effort. Man, they just do not seem like they're good for each other. No. Oh, it's almost done, thank God.

SPEAKER_02 53:13

Whoops. Oh my gosh. Dude, I hate moments like that because I'm just sitting there and I'm just like, oh my gosh, like, dude, it's gonna come out and it's not even like intentional. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 53:44

Okay. Then he said something that honestly keeps replaying in my head. I think deep down you actually like the attention. I didn't even know what to say to that. Now my mom says he's just immature. My sister says he enjoys humiliating me a little too much after they were all laughing. My best friend thinks he's using humor to bulldoze my boundaries. I'm crying. I can see that. That's why I started laughing again.

SPEAKER_02 54:21

And it was funny too, because in my brain, I'm like sitting there and I'm just like, don't say it. And it just whoop.

SPEAKER_04 54:33

Yeah, literally. But part of me feels guilty because technically he is trying. He plans things, he spends money, he's excited, and everyone around us thinks he's hilarious. So I guess my question is am I being overly sensitive about this, or is this actually as disrespectful as it feels? And more importantly, how do I explain to someone that making your partner the joke over and over eventually stops feeling loving? Signed, tired of being the punchline. Oh, that was exhausting to read. If I'm honest, it was funny. I was a lot of good parts, but yeah, it was just long-winded.

SPEAKER_01 55:13

My thing is like, I mean I'm glad. Okay, first of all, to this user, I appreciate you for being very descriptive about stuff and at least getting us context. So, uh back to this girl on a serious note with how this guy is acting, and the thing again that I do like is that she has made it very apparent that okay, dude, you're taking it a little far. It's like maybe it was funny the first time, yeah, but then you've done it like three or four more times from there, and it's like you've done it again all publicly, and you haven't like if it'd be different, I think, if maybe like I think again the first time was fine, is whatever, you know, it's funny, but then like maybe the other gag gifts could be like something private just between you two, like, oh, it could be something.

SPEAKER_04 56:05

Like if you're on a one-on-one thing or something, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 56:07

Yeah, like something like that, like it'd be funny or whatever, but when you make it public, and again, you've expressed like like she's expressed her opinion about it, and like, dude, like, okay, I'm not feeling like love, I'm feeling like more humiliation in this relationship than I am, you know, for you being who you're supposed to be, you know, and he's like, Oh, you're just you know, you're being over dramatic, and you're not, you know, you just gotta be fun because your family's fun and they don't care, and blah blah blah blah blah blah. And it's like I almost I I it's not that I almost I actually do feel bad for her because there have been points like that I've I personally went through and that I've known friends that have personally gone through that where they've been humiliated by like their significant other that they're seeing, and it's sad to see that because I've had to stand up for some friends that have gone through that with their like even though they're significant others in the same room, it's just like, dude, don't be doing that to them, you know what I mean? Like, okay, it's funny when it's just us three joking about it, but like when you're bringing it out to public or around other people's friends, like maybe this person doesn't even know like the people around them, and then all of a sudden that happens. It's like, dude, it's way more embarrassing because if they see it's oh, it's that girl with the sneezing picture, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. So yeah, she I feel like at this point is I don't know if this sounds weird, I don't know if you could agree on this, but I think there needs to be a final discussion and maybe not an ultimatum, but maybe an ultimatum kind of motive where like, okay, if you're gonna keep doing this, and I've expressed myself like on multiple occasions that clearly you're not taking me serious about like let's not make fun of me in public, you know, and let's actually get something considerable, like as a gift, you know, then if you're not gonna listen and you're not gonna respect me as a human being and as your partner, then I think we need a break, you know what I mean? Or a breakup, or a breakup, one of the two, because usually a break means you'll be back together in a few years.

SPEAKER_04 58:16

I mean, if they've been together three and a half years and she feels like she's the butt of the joke, then clearly this this relationship ain't working.

SPEAKER_01 58:26

Right, it's not working at that point.

SPEAKER_04 58:28

Um but yeah, I was gonna say too, uh there needs to be like some type of compromise. Like the gag gifts would be funny if it was one-on-one or if you're with a certain group of people, but but if you're with other people and like they they just see it as him making fun of you, it just like hits differently.

SPEAKER_01 58:46

It's like belittling.

SPEAKER_04 58:47

Yeah, like if I make fun of you when it's just us two, it's it's yeah, it's a funny joke. But if you you come over to like a party where you don't really know people, and then I say that same joke, it just doesn't hit the same. Right, and then because it's like in front of people that don't really know you as well, and it's just not as funny at that point, right?

SPEAKER_01 59:05

And on top, yeah, and I was gonna say then it just I know I don't know why I'm yawning now, but um, yeah, it just gets to that point where you're just not respected at that point and you're you're feeling like crap, and like now I don't know again. The only thing I mean I guess would be where has this been happening for all three years, or has this just been the last year of the three and a half, you know what I mean? That he's just been doing this because if he is if he's been doing it the entire time, then it's like okay, you know, like at that point you're kind of you should be getting used to it. But it seems like through her context, this has just been recently happening, like this last year, and it's like, dude, like knock it off. Like, clearly you're not getting the message. If she said it the first time that it was humiliating, and she's like, that kind of sucked, and he's just like, Oh, you're just not being you're you know, come on, it was funny, you know. Then at that point, it's like okay, if it happens again, it's like again, she explained herself. Third time, explain yourself. Like, you can only explain so much to somebody before they're just gonna not take you. Obviously, he's not taking her seriously at this point anymore, right? So I I would have like a final talk with this dude and be like, look, we either need a break or we need a breakup because you're clearly not respecting me in front of my friends, family, or randos in the street, you know. And yeah, so I need to be respected as your partner because if let's just say it gets to the point where they are gonna get married, maybe, is what she's thinking, because three and a half years, you know, then how are you gonna be able to be married and you know deal with this dude? You know, yeah, because there's gonna be like you know, through sickness and health, you know, how they usually say, and it just gets to that point where you're like, okay, but it you're not taking the marriage seriously at that point. Because if he's not taking the relationship seriously, why are you gonna get married to him? You know what I mean? So yeah, I believe that she needs to have like one last conversation, like she needs to actually sit him down private, one-on-one, like at their house or apartment, wherever they're at, and just be like, hey, we need to have a talk because you're not taking me seriously. I've had several conversations with you, and I need to know if you're actually serious about this relationship because I am thinking about a breakup or a break. If you're just not gonna respect me as a human being.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:36

Dang, bro's gotta comment for real. I'm just saying, man. Like, I know, I'm just saying, too.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:41

It's it's the truth, and I feel bad for her, you know. Again, it started out like it was actually funny, and then it just turned into okay, now you're just being disrespectful as heck, you know.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:50

Yeah, some of it was funny. Uh I will I will admit.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:54

Yeah, some of it was funny, and I you know, it's good to like make fun of each other every now and again, you know. Yeah, because if you're not, then I wouldn't consider it love at that point. No, you know. So yeah, I would say, just for my opinion of this story, is have a talk with them, and then maybe even before you have to talk with them, really think about it. If you're tired of being disrespected, then maybe call it off. But if you feel like you still love the guy and you want to be with him, then say, like, hey dude, like we really do need to talk. If he still doesn't take you seriously after that, then just be done. You know what I mean? Yep, be done. Yes, ma'am.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:33

Alrighty. I think that concludes this episode. That's the final story, Caleb. Yeah, we're at over an hour.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:40

Until next time on Dragon Ball Z. Alright, everybody.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:45

Thanks for listening, shut up. I love you.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:47

Ya bla bla bla.