Infinite Nerd Theorem

Morkborg's Descent: Savage Journeys and Sinister Omens Under the Shadow King's Reign

February 09, 2024 INT podcast team Season 1 Episode 1
Infinite Nerd Theorem
Morkborg's Descent: Savage Journeys and Sinister Omens Under the Shadow King's Reign
Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Are you prepared to venture into the abyss where light is consumed by shadow? Our latest adventure, shrouded in the grim darkness of Morkborg, will have you on the edge of your seat. We journey with Reinhold Bearkin, a savage of the wilds, Navar Hemlock, an unrepentant skinwalker, Palta the survivor from the valley massacre, Eggsy a gutterborn scum with a penchant for "borrowing", Agryx the most prideful man in the dying lands and Eric the black wolf whose bark is just as bad as his bite as they navigate a world brimming with necromancy and lawlessness. Their tales, marked by the iron rule of the Shadow King and the eerie crypts of his dominion, are the mere beginning of our bone-chilling saga.

As we recount our harrowing encounters, you'll feel the chill of the crypts and the dread of the Shadow King's laboratory. The roll of the dice decides our fate, as we confront the notorious Dr. Satan and the grotesque transformations forced upon our characters. The eerie sounds of jester chimes and the sinister omens of lantern man prowl in the background, driving us into the heart of darkness where every step could be our last.

Our odyssey through Morkborg doesn't end with mere survival. From looting the bodies of the forsaken to the chaotic scuffles with shadowy assailants, our quest is laden with perils and dark wonders. The hunt for the elusive Gunter Buckler thrusts us into a narrative woven with intrigue and the looming threat of a bounty that could seal our doom. Our pause at the threshold of Schleschweb is but a prelude to the terrors that beckon. Join us for this extraordinary RPG experience, where every choice carves the path to our ultimate fate in the dying world of Morkborg.

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Speaker 1:

Welcome one and all. We are coming to a, well, honestly, parental advisory is going to be called for this. It's starting off now. We're coming to literally a dying world, a shit world. This is Morkborg, a heavy metal, black comedy tabletop, and literally the setting is called the dying world, and I have really fallen in love with this series and I'm joined with some other really cool, cool players that are gonna be playing some really fun characters. As we go into this, into this fun story, I have well not really gonna be fun, this grim, dark comedy series that I've prepared for them and for myself as well, because I'm gonna be playing one of the characters with everyone.

Speaker 1:

So, to let everyone and the listeners know, the dying world it's. It's. It's a fantasy world, so it's not set in our, in our world. It's the land, it's and, as I've said, it's literally the lands are called the dying world and parts of the different countries are. There's Tivolin, which ultimately that is ruled by the Shadow King. Hmm, best way to put shadow it, cuz I mean a tyrant or an overlord is literally putting it lightly to what the Shadow King is. He rules with an iron fist, but then you go to an area like like um Galgenbeck or Sarkash. There is no one that rules those areas and, granted, the people are happy, but it's a murder haven, one of the lightest ways to put it. You got goblins running around skinning people, and then people finding those goblins and skinning them.

Speaker 1:

It goes back and forth and then you have an area called the Valley of the Unfortunate Undead. This place is sad and it's even more bad off than every other part of the dying world, and that's because a certain scientist her name was well, we only know her monitor, dr Steen. She, she came into power with a foul form of necromancy and Matt combined with alchemy, alchemy and science and she took over the Valley of the Unfortunate Dead and, sadly, the people that populated there are no more. There was only two survivors. One of them was from the past, so he doesn't count, but this other survivor was from that horrible massacre of the strange citizens invading the Valley of the Unfortunate Dead and Dr Steen summoning the Black Sand Storm that completely envelops the lands. Now, and with the strange citizens bringing hell to the dying lands, lake Onda becoming literally a lake of blood, slush swig, no one leaves their homes. Graventosk, it's so damn cursed that the minute you step foot in that graveyard, you're doomed to never leave there.

Speaker 1:

But in all this we we come across some peculiar individual. These individuals are special because they have been set. They have been dated for execution because of their monstrous deeds and of their sin. We will come to the first one. That is named Reinhold Berkin.

Speaker 1:

Reinhold doesn't remember much from his birth mother, because little does he know that a certain female, after she gave birth, she saw a prophecy that Reinhold would be her downfall, so she cast him into the river to his death. But a great direbear found him and raised him as her beloved cub. When Reinhold was 16, a pack of humans from Kyrgis discovered him and, thinking that they were saving Reinhold from this monstrous direbear that had been bringing hell to the countryside, reinhold saw his beloved, his beloved mother, die, so he responded the only way he could. He tore them the pieces and ate every inch of them, sucking literally the marrow from their bone and rotten. The brutal hundred man slayer was born that day because there were a hundred men, because that direbear was very infamous. It was a hundred man hunting party and Reinhold, at the age of 16, slaughtered them all with his bare hands and his teeth. He went on for another about a good 10 years slaughtering around, slaughtering the countryside's, bringing his own special hell to every part of the dying world.

Speaker 1:

But Reinhold is not just a monster. He does have his own peculiar set of rule. He will never harm a woman or child, not because of a sense of honor, but because they can't hold the fucking sword and they do not bring a challenge to him and they're not worth his goddamn time. When Reinhold was brought to trial, the judge, the time turned, turned his head and when he turned back, reinhold was swallowing the bail bailiff. His greatest sin is that of glutton, because he has eaten too much, not just of all the people that he has slaughtered, but of course the one valuable resource, the animals, the, the livestock. He has eaten too much for that. He is a natural disaster that brings slaughter and corpses and bones and he cannot be allowed to. Reinhold, you are guilty. Reinhold looks at the judge, flips him the bird and stretches and opens his mighty mouth and swallows his lawyer and he is escorted to the execution chambers.

Speaker 1:

Now, which one of our peculiar strangers should we hear about? Now I do believe. Oh, and I do apologize and allow me to say, because in more work. There are classes. Reinhold Bearkins class is the Fang deserter, because the only friends he has is the 32 in his mouth. Now I do believe we have a cursed skinwalker in the midst. Please tell us of your history and of your crime.

Speaker 3:

Oh, you don't have to move well, my name is Navar him luck. I grew up, I was born and raised in the illegal market. I had multiple families because I was orphan since both. I have no idea why, but regardless, with each family I developed and learned a new fun little skill, I should say, and I am now a free person. I do what I want and I take how what I want, no matter what method I use. I've dabbled in well, I should say, enjoy quite a few things crimes, model assassination, terrorism, so many fun things. But sadly I got caught. I received an invitation for a job one day and my deal is I was gonna get beautiful Jim. I had my eye on for a long time and when I showed up at the place I woke up in handcuffs, except this time I didn't know who put them on now you are a natural disaster where you go, death and greed are left in your trail.

Speaker 1:

Your sin is greed and we sentence you to death.

Speaker 3:

You are guilty can you blame a girl for wanting to have a little fun?

Speaker 1:

now, that was a fantastic. That was a fantastic little tale from our cursed skinwalker. Now we there has been legend, there's been tales in a certain area of you know that. Allow me to check the map, dear listeners. Oh yes, in grift there's been tale of a certain black wool. He's been apprehended. Please tell us about yourself, tell us your crimes. That has led you here.

Speaker 4:

Oh, you want my crimes? My crime? Oh look, let me guess this must be the Wednesday judge. Oh, yeah, your partner, or whatever. Yeah, how is he doing, by the way? Anyway, yeah, I'm Eric S J. I am a fainting deserter, like good Reinholt over here, crazy damn bear. Yeah, my sin. Yeah, I don't like you. I don't like you, the lawyer that's sitting over there in the chair he could go right, really, fuck himself. Anyway, my crime is well, my mother worked out of tavern, didn't really go to school. What the fuck was school for if you couldn't pick pockets some poor schmuck for your next meal? And well, I kind of got a little too antsy and, uh, yeah, I went feral, killed a guy with my bare hands and then, as well, since I'm stuck in this damn print, since I'm stuck in this damn courtroom with another judge who, by the way, I ripped out his throat, yeah, that's my sin. Yeah, yeah, that's what I did. So don't piss me off, because, say, your sin is wrath.

Speaker 4:

Where you go, anger and destruction and death are in your wake yoddy, yoddy, yoddy, just tell me I'm dead, so I could get the fuck out of here you are a natural disaster and your sentence is death.

Speaker 1:

You are guilty?

Speaker 4:

yay, I'm guilty. So can I get the fuck out of here?

Speaker 1:

yes, we have a very angry traveler there as erica's let away yeah, fuck you too hmm, but there's been durings because the next defended his honestly. The judge is very disappointed and who is being brought forward? Because the last survivor of the Valley of the unfortunate and really tell us your history and your crime now take over for that, cuz she just mostly mute.

Speaker 2:

Uh, so she comes from the what might be the epicenter of the Valley of the fortunate, and her village now runs her wagon hauntingly beautiful, unnervingly clean. No dirt touches her form like no fills Marsher skin. She just sits there passively holding a skull the judge with intense anger.

Speaker 1:

You with your way, with your ways, you could bring such changes to these lands, maybe even change it from the dying lands. Yet you sit there like a sloth. Your crime, your sin is sloth, because in your wake you do nothing and for that you will be executed. You are guilty, pickle these crime, these crimes, as you see, not everyone is just stab, stab, kill, kill. All kinds of crimes are brought towards these judges because as a judge sit there he literally claps his hand over his face as he can already hear the screaming of this next ended criminal coming, because he's honestly, he was just apprehended this day screaming some nonsense in this in the streets and before he even comes in, a jester kicks open the door, does a somersault all the way to the to the defendant standing, goes and announcing you fool, at least announce me right, I am our corrects von Brunk the thud.

Speaker 1:

I always forget your name.

Speaker 6:

You do damn you, you'll get spakings later for this year, wretch. But first we shall vote, because that is democracy oh, he's doing it again.

Speaker 1:

I hesitate to ask.

Speaker 6:

But harbors, tell your history in your crime, oh, and of the family of Brunk. We have served faithfully our community. But then one time I was taken. Ha, it's all this royalty really right? I mean, of course I'm good at being royal, no one else can quite do it like me. But then I'll say, good, well, if there was a system where, where everyone can kind of vote on things. And then one day I got caught dry humping a storm mannequin on that bastard star. Keep with stock me without letting me finish how bitter I am. And then I decided to preach about democracy as I got beat by the gods. And then that prick shadow king decided that I should publicly urinate as part of my punishment. But then that had to gross people out. So now I am before you. Who that reminds me this? One time I saw this butterfly, and at three heads.

Speaker 1:

As Agrix keeps, as Agrix is going on and on, a group of guards run over and tackle him.

Speaker 6:

Democracy. I didn't vote for this. Y-your sin.

Speaker 1:

Agrix, Agrix is pride In your wake.

Speaker 7:

Where you go, you ramble on and on, as if you are the center of the world.

Speaker 6:

I'm not prideful, I just think I'm better than other people.

Speaker 1:

The guard hits Agrix upside the head and he gets knocked unconscious. And you're a natural disaster. And that's not even counting your jester. You are guilty, Agrix.

Speaker 7:

Now the final criminal. God, you said you weren't even brought him into the court. What Wait? He's outside. I can already smell him for crying out loud. Oh God, the one who was caught stealing the church bell by the name of Egerton. Please come in and good God.

Speaker 8:

It was. You don't have to push. Mother said, no pushing.

Speaker 1:

Um, gentlemen, please stop pushing mistakes. I wasn't.

Speaker 8:

I wasn't stealing. I told you I wasn't stealing. I was borrowing a bell. Mother loves bells. I know it fell. The bell fell, yes, it fell. Okay, I didn't know he was there. Why do I want to tell him this? Mr Egerton, this I'm not supposed to tell you. So the bell fell.

Speaker 1:

I didn't do it, I was borrowing it for Mother and it fell, Mr Egerton your sin is envy If you are a natural disaster in your place, because where you go everything seems to disappear, and yet they are mysteriously borrowed as just as you have.

Speaker 7:

where is my damn gavel? Iggy wanted a hammer.

Speaker 1:

Take him away before we somehow we find ourselves without with all of our items gone and as Egerton is taken away. You vile criminals, you horrid, horrid sin. Five of you have been the public cheers as your execution has been announced, but something is wrong. You're not being led to the execution pit where the heads tumble. No, oh, no, oh, um. Kat, could you give me a presence roll please? Um, it will be a DR. It's going to be a presence DR. Six roll please. Difficulty roll of six. So just a d20.

Speaker 2:

Wow, that's a 19.

Speaker 1:

You destroyed that roll, so I will reward that with, with all of the information. So you are being led to the Shadow King's crypts that connect to the sewers, and there's only one reason why you'd be led there. It's not because it. And without you being dead, of course, you're being led to the laboratory and, oh, the scientist that is waiting for you down there. You have. You've heard that he is the one that taught Dr Steen everything she. You've heard that his name is Dr State. You see a gentleman with this apparatus. He's got a hunch back like, but he's extremely thin, but the apparatus on his back will click at ways of good 85 pounds. It's filled with a green viscous liquid that's glowing. On his left hand he has syringes that are connected to a tube going around his arm to the apparatus. In his right hand, three of the fingers are scalpels. Two of the other fingers you can't make out.

Speaker 7:

Are these the ones, the disasters I don't like?

Speaker 5:

this man, he scares me.

Speaker 1:

Reinhold ducks behind with his mighty size, behind Kat. One more time, what is your character's name? Her name's Palta. So the maths of six foot eight Reinhold ducks behind you, Palta, shaking scared.

Speaker 2:

No reaction.

Speaker 1:

Okay, I have to. I have to actually roll a. Let me make sure I do the correct stat for him, because he's got to roll a toughness roll to try to overcome Egerton's just nasty stench. Nope, it was a difficulty. 12 roll, he rolled an 11.

Speaker 8:

He just why does everyone do that around me?

Speaker 7:

Your smell is impressive, egerton. I can't wait to see what kind of beast we make out of you. You, the fabled Rhino, reinhold and Enic Enic.

Speaker 4:

Oh God, what the heck are you supposed to be? The hunchback? Or Notre Dame? Really, Reinhold, you're that much of a sissy that you have to hide from something like this. God, how would I? Could have just stayed in the woods.

Speaker 5:

I have heard legends of evil Doctor man make monsters. Mama, mama, mama scared, she's scared of this place, she's scared of him.

Speaker 1:

Reinhold. So I actually need to do a. So let me pull up Reinhold's character sheet real quick, because he is getting intensely terrified right now and for his difficulty roll this is going to be a 10. So and he fails. Reinhold foams at the mouth and goes unconscious on the ground.

Speaker 3:

I'm going to pet his head, oh go ahead, get a little bit closer, I'm going to pet his head.

Speaker 1:

Nava is petting Reinhold's head and well they're, they're sweetheart. Um, Nava, I'm going to need to pull up your. You are going to pull up your character sheet because you're going to need to do a presence roll as well, Because the minute you look, lock eyes with Dr Satan, you recognize the man that gave you the scars on your face. Oh, no, no, it was a DR 10. You roll the nine. So what does that mean? You, hmm, tears of blood start to stream down your face and you drop. Nava drops to her knee.

Speaker 3:

I remember you.

Speaker 4:

Oh shit, uh yeah, don't want to be involved in this. I believe we should take a couple of steps back, and this is coming from the guy who likes to rip people's throats out.

Speaker 1:

Eric, as you move backward you feel something large and fleshy. I'm going to need a DR 10 presence roll, because as you turn around you just see what looks like a muscle. That's just chisel, looks pure, like it's hardest steel, but all the limbs are just hands, and these arms are as thick as pillars, so there's about a good 12 of them.

Speaker 7:

The gods will make sure you behave.

Speaker 1:

So that's going to be a D 20 roll, Finn, Finn, that's going to be a D 20 roll and you're just gonna get a 14. Okay, you cleared it. You stand strong looking at this horrid monstrosity, but in your mind you know one false move and this thing's going to smash you in the face.

Speaker 4:

Oh, but ain't you a good looking specimen. It seems the good doc actually did something right for a change.

Speaker 1:

The doc, doctor starts to clap, happily as your statement.

Speaker 4:

That wasn't a compliment.

Speaker 7:

And you all become my greatest experiment next to steam.

Speaker 3:

Oh no, no, I can't do this again. Yeah, I can't do this again.

Speaker 7:

Yeah, it's one of you. We're going to bring out the beast within the one that represents your sin. Yes, yes.

Speaker 1:

And a group of those gargantuan guardian hands come picking each one of you up, placing you on a lab table For this. You are all made sure you're a wily king, Argrics. You are slapped awake by this big old hand. Thankfully, from your D2 armor you don't take any damage. It just leaves a good slap mark on each side of your face. Mommy, hot, what? Where am I?

Speaker 7:

Hello, it's time for you to change.

Speaker 1:

And I don't have no spare undies. And with this he bites his thumb and you see this black viscous liquid that he reaches behind himself and drops it into the apparatus. It becomes just a pure jet black for one drop and he inserts about a good 10 inch needle into each one of your necks and injects it. The burning pain that you feel as your veins bulge, turning back, as that viscous liquid invades your every part of your body, every vein, every nerve, every part of your body. And then you violently shake, changing.

Speaker 1:

Reinhold spews a fountain blood from his mouth. Eggerton shakes so hard he just spasms literally up 10 feet in the air from the violent spasms in his body. Nava, she wrenches back in a backwards crab walker and you can hear her bones snapping, cracking in the place to for it. Erichin Argrics, I dare not say what happens. It's just horrifying, it's. You can just hear the snapping liquid pouring on the ground and then it stops. Everything is quiet, serene, and then in your eyes, all four of you see the same thing before you awake you see four individuals.

Speaker 1:

You see a lamb with no face Well, a great ram with no face and a crown floating above his head. You see a coffin with a face and two horns on the side. Yet this coffin is this is a dime. It looks like it's a diamond, but there's also a pair of eyes near the bottom, staring. There's a rib cage with a strange skull that looks like what would be those blades that would be on the pendulum, but that's the top half for the skull. But it's bone, not blade. There's no eyes, just a nose and a mouth, and then this rib cage, no gore.

Speaker 1:

And then, finally, the last one is you see a woman with no, with eyes that have been sewn shut, but it looks like she has a monocle. That is a white spider hanging by the side of her face in a black hood covering her body. All four look at you, say we'll see you soon. Which one you serve? Which one will be mine? As you wake up, you look around. You're not in the lab, you're not even on a lab gurney, you're on a pile Reinhold on the bottom, navon top of Reinhold, polta on top of Navva, eric on top of Polta, Egerton on top of Eric and then Egrix on top of everyone.

Speaker 1:

He doesn't like this and you're right near the entrance to the store and I'll allow you guys to take it away as you're all shaking off of the off of the pile as Reinhold sits up.

Speaker 4:

All right, who's not dead? Oh, my spink, you're a spink, you're the one that landed on me.

Speaker 8:

Hey, he doesn't know what a stranger is.

Speaker 4:

I swear, next time I see that damn doctor I'm gonna rip his head off and use it as a prime in a comedy skit.

Speaker 2:

P-Pulta's just laying on the floor rolled over from where she got pushed off, just holding the skull.

Speaker 1:

And Nava.

Speaker 3:

Ah, I get up and I dust myself off trying to scan the room.

Speaker 1:

And Egerton hey, he's not enjoying himself. Yeah, so as you're all sitting there, you hear the chimes of that jester that was in the court when you were. You all remember that serves the loudmouth, the one that was given the sin of pride, argrix, you recognize the bells of his jester coming and you just hear that and it's echoing throughout. But you, there's another pair of footprints.

Speaker 4:

Okay, I'm just gonna come out and say who the fuck hired the fucking clown.

Speaker 6:

That is my real fool. An emergency, emergency food if it comes to it.

Speaker 3:

How enough?

Speaker 4:

I'm just wanting to tell you I don't like clowns.

Speaker 3:

Dip them in the legs so we throw them into food. 80 likes clowns.

Speaker 8:

The funny thing is, he told me the most delightful of jokes.

Speaker 6:

Then you tangle. Let's see, when does something become a dad joke? When it leaves, the nephra comes back, or maybe it was about milk or something, I forget so alright, I, man, I, but I have to do this.

Speaker 1:

But so, um Polta, you're gonna need to give me another um presence roll, because Now the figure he's ethereal. So there's definitely some pop magic going on here for him to project himself. But the more he's coming closer you recognize that bulbous, blubberous form of Roland Repkic Repnick, one of the strange citizens and priest and head inventor for Dr Steen.

Speaker 2:

Uh, I got a 16.

Speaker 1:

Okay, I was only looking for a DR12, so you cleared that. How do you stay calm?

Speaker 2:

Uh, she's just gonna hold up the skull like Mother Strange.

Speaker 5:

I recognize that one.

Speaker 1:

Yes, the twin slattered his family in a cake. It was quite a huge.

Speaker 5:

So this is the one that I'm going to bring to Denfell of Dr Steen.

Speaker 1:

You see, like a big, long black tongue come out as he licks his. He licks all the way down his neck and over his entire face and that black tongue goes back in his face as he's looking at all of you. What you see is this bulbous like the best way to put it is he would be six feet wide, but he's only four feet tall. He has a tiny cardinal red cardinal hat and he's wearing red priest wear and he has a black pentagram engraved on the back of his right hand and he has a black rune, a certain rune, engraved on his left hand.

Speaker 5:

Yes there's something different about these ones?

Speaker 2:

Where did?

Speaker 5:

you just come from.

Speaker 6:

Oh so what?

Speaker 1:

Someone just asked something.

Speaker 6:

You just see me shamelessly using the unholy water basin to shit.

Speaker 5:

Yeah, man, man hat. But why are you using such delicious stink-gittered bass? Let me have it.

Speaker 4:

Oh, my God, it's hideous, and I thought I'd see some hideous things in my life, but, my God, this thing looks like something that you would get rid of in a trash dump. Oh, actually.

Speaker 3:

I want to know how his father managed to walk downhill.

Speaker 4:

I mean, look at it, it would probably have an issue trying to even walk at all. Let me guess you try to. Let me guess you eat so much that it just expands inside your ginormous blubbery gut. Go on a fucking diet. Eat a fucking salad once in a fucking while.

Speaker 1:

So your words instead of wounding Father Repnick? He beams with pride and happiness, except he looks at Egerton with intense disgust and anger.

Speaker 7:

How dare you try to match me in stink and the stink?

Speaker 1:

Rematch and Kym. Oh, you're about to say B, he doesn't stink.

Speaker 8:

He smells, he smells like family.

Speaker 1:

This Father Repnick, just intense anger, looks at you with murderous rage, rematch and Kym's angry being gay adding you to my stink to my blubber.

Speaker 1:

And that's when you all noticed that, yes, if he was physically here, there is no fucking way he would fit in the hall. But because he's in ethereal form, his sides are just, you know, like a ghost phasing through the wall. And that's when you noticed that his arms are only like they look kind of it would be like a tear, like a T-Rex with how, with how bulbous he is, how much his arms sink into his blubber.

Speaker 3:

Your tits got bigger than mine, I see.

Speaker 5:

Mother, I remember you the failure.

Speaker 3:

Really, you wouldn't have hired me if I was such a failure, you fucking asshole. Yeah, yeah, that's what.

Speaker 4:

I thought you two had a thing. Man, you really need to work on your standards, not?

Speaker 3:

that kind of job dipshit.

Speaker 1:

You notice a when the tongue comes out it has like spikes on it and it's even longer and wider than it originally was. But then he sucks it back into his mouth and then that's when you notice that the toeed features go away and he's back. Just a regular bulbousness.

Speaker 7:

That's because I've been using this for a long time, because I've been using this since my master is a benevolent leader and he wishes to make it up to a certain member of your group.

Speaker 6:

I won't tell you which one We'll make sure you think it's you, boy, because I'm obvious, because I am a royal, I am obviously superior than these well people, they're dangerous, but anyways, I can prove that I'm superior, because three hours later, and that is, Right now this is beating his head against the wall.

Speaker 3:

That's what I was doing.

Speaker 1:

Just over and over Reinhold. I'm actually. Thankfully I have armor so I am protected against D2 damage, because Reinhold would have taken two damage from how hard he was hitting his head, but two damage is negated from the armor, which is actually a really fun mechanic in Morkborg. Is that depending on your tier of armor is how much damage is automatically negated?

Speaker 6:

And then I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a homepage. Get the f-.

Speaker 4:

Pooey hell off.

Speaker 7:

Anyway, one member of your group is related to Dr Steen.

Speaker 1:

Dr Steen wishes to be fair. She's going to give you all a chance. If you wish to even think to penetrate the Black Sand, you have to kill all of us. I'll give you a hint your first 20 citizen will be pointed out by the Undertaker. Good luck and good lord. What a win bag as he disappears.

Speaker 3:

Does that mean we're free to leave?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, go ahead Everyone. Good, you guys are now. He talked too much, Sorry. Allow me to paint the picture now. So you guys are at the entrance to the exit of the Shadow King sewers. Reinhold just looks back towards the sewers. He hears the sound of EEEEEEEEEE and Reinhold goes NOPE and he walks out of the sewer.

Speaker 4:

You know what big guy I think me and you have the same idea. Yeah, come on, your royal. And Eric grabs our noble boy yeah, our gricks and just drags him. Come on, you ginormous royal windbag. No, we didn't all take a vote yet. Eric just grabs him real close and brings him up. If you say more work, I will turn so your mouth shut.

Speaker 6:

You got pretty eyes.

Speaker 3:

Well, I'm very happy because I recognize that force All right?

Speaker 1:

Um, there are our other three party members. Are other three party members? Because I'm not just going to assume you guys leave. I need to know it. Just I just don't want to force you guys to. So what would? Are you leaving the sewer Novel?

Speaker 1:

Well, I could stop and say hi to a good old friend, but then again I'll probably run into that dick with it again, so I should leave as you leave, you just hear the faint echo once again of a and when you turn around you just see the pale humanoid figure and then notice from the crotch area a lantern hanging from there. I blow my kiss. You just hear the kissing sound as it blows it back to that man.

Speaker 8:

He is going up that ladder so fast, or whatever it is.

Speaker 1:

Great lander Egerton, are you heading out to so fast?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so I'm actually going to give in front of Reinhold. Okay, I would like to use Master of Fate.

Speaker 1:

Um, what DR crap. I don't have that. Could you please go ahead and read us the description for that please?

Speaker 2:

All right. What use are maps when the substance of casualty itself is open to you? You know the right way with the DR eight presence test.

Speaker 1:

Go ahead and give me that DR eight, presence test 17. You destroyed that present test and you get the answer. To know that there is a puzzle. There is a puzzle to getting out of the graveyard. There are quite a few different locations you go to, but there is a number that you have to visit of four locations that will open the way to the under, to the undertaker's cabin. You know that you have to go to the strangely tree, the plague pit, then the plague pit, then the origin fountain and then finally mouse moss vomitorium, and you must complete a task at each one of these areas.

Speaker 1:

And with this, dear listeners, we are actually now past the prologue portion of the session and the actual main portion now. So, and cat and polter has already solved the puzzle of the graveyard, but you guys have to go to each one of these locations still. But now you won't, you won't get lost. You now know you have to go to these numbered ones first. So in the and for the players, if you go to the discord and the more important campaign, you will find the graveyard maps, the purple numbers, that's the locations that you have to go to, and the 1234, those of the four. So allow me to pull up the book. Alrighty, because we are, because we are going to be walking the trails, let us so let us see which one do we go, so let us see. Oh wait, no, I don't need to see which one we go to first, because polter solve that. So you are going to be going. We are going to the strangely tree first.

Speaker 2:

She lives after, like figuring out the way, like hold her arms up to be carried, and then pointing the direction.

Speaker 1:

Reinhold puts you on his shoulders, like, like, like, like, like, like when a parent would do with their child to let them ride on their shoulders up.

Speaker 5:

Lead the friend, lead the way strange, strange, quiet friend.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, maybe he wants to be too. Um, reinhold actually looks at you and goes I like your smell and he lifts you up and he holds his arm up so you can just ride on his right arm.

Speaker 3:

He got a piece. Well, this suddenly looks fun, oh yeah.

Speaker 1:

Reinhold looks so excited. Reinhold looks at Nava and goes Do you want to ride? Nava climbs onto Reinhold's left arm. Sorry, eric.

Speaker 5:

I don't have any more arms.

Speaker 4:

I'm okay, big guy. I think you got your hands full while it is.

Speaker 5:

We are friends now oh that's inside.

Speaker 4:

At least you're quiet, unlike the other guy who I can't stand. And why are you pissing on a fucking gravestone?

Speaker 6:

He was the king, fuck the king.

Speaker 1:

Wait, what did you just say in the grid? No, oh God, you said that out loud, didn't you?

Speaker 4:

I don't like authority.

Speaker 6:

So Eric you're going to be.

Speaker 1:

Eric. You, eric, and Egrics, now are both going to be experiencing sensory strangeness. I'm going to roll a D8 real quick, so hold on real quick. So for Eric, I rolled a four. So you, an invisible breathing behind your left and right ear, it's just persistent, you just feel someone breathing in your ear. And then for Egrics, I rolled a three. A wind chills the spine yet makes you sweat. You know, saying things against the Shadow King is wrong here and will make some make your sensories, make your senses go kind of weird-wokky.

Speaker 6:

Well, is it just like? Is it mentioning the name at all, or just smack talking?

Speaker 1:

Both. Well, no, no, no, no. In a negative smack talking you can say it in a positive way, but if you're, if you're saying it in a derogatory way against the Shadow King, you get sensory strangeness.

Speaker 6:

I am constantly aggravated and bitter.

Speaker 1:

And allow me to do one warning. This is a freebie. You trigger three sensory strangeness in one location. That's a random encounter, so you've already done two. Be careful.

Speaker 6:

Okay, well, I shake twice, put it away and send you onward. I have a little tangle Pack me is like three foot tall and I'm just riding on you.

Speaker 1:

A wind blows through wheezing branches, chilling the air and carrying decay. Decay is smell far away, a huge tree long since leafless Branches groaning from a dozen hanging bodies. Nuses sway excitedly Above a wooden door just big enough to crawl through, firmly planted at the top of a rickety plank ladder. Is anyone going to go inside?

Speaker 4:

Yeah, I'll go inside. I'm too big. No friends to you, big guy, but I don't think you fit either. I don't think our little, our lady friends up there would like to get that dirty and the other guy.

Speaker 1:

Do you say this?

Speaker 8:

Sorry, you go first. B, let me just throw in. It's dirty and gross up there, right? Yes, I can hide in it, I can just disappear in it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, everton's already gone, as he disappears into the filth. I have the potential and actual ability to hide and muck and debris and filth, but to be fair, I'm going to say this though Nava is already climbing the ladder getting to the door. Nava, as you get to the door, you hear what sounds like grunts. Do you open the door?

Speaker 3:

Oh, someone's having a good time.

Speaker 1:

Do you open the door? Yeah, you hear intense. And as you open the door, the tree is hollow. And yet that's when you see inside, going at it, there is a what looks like. It looks like a goblin behind just pounding a female troll, just ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, just slapping its ass. And it just looks up at you and goes hey, look, privacy please. Oh sorry.

Speaker 5:

Oh, smash, smash.

Speaker 1:

Nava slams the door. Nava, how do you look as you turn to everybody else?

Speaker 3:

from what you just saw, I need to go shopping later, though that's my false thought, because I saw. Everything that they had in the room is like ooh, I am very impressed.

Speaker 1:

I'm sorry guys. Yes, I had to do a Baldur's Gate 3 joke. I'm sorry.

Speaker 4:

And Nava, you okay up there? Yeah, I'm perfectly fine.

Speaker 1:

Nava, I'm gonna have you give me a D8 presence roll to resist the urge to vomit from what you witnessed. Wait, wait, you do have a plus one in your presence. So you got an eight. And rules are meet beats. So you don't puke, you stay strong.

Speaker 3:

I was gonna say I was intrigued.

Speaker 1:

It was the smells.

Speaker 3:

Oh, okay.

Speaker 1:

You were intrigued, yes, but the smells were horrendous.

Speaker 3:

Fail that funk ooh, but I'm gonna yell out the door, lie the candle.

Speaker 1:

But here's the reward for your bravery, because as you did that, as you were climbing down, your hand pressed against a tree and a glowing white rune lit up and behind Polta the way to the next location opens up.

Speaker 3:

Okay, well, I'll just put the rune down my shoulder to keep it.

Speaker 1:

Well, behind Reinhold, because everyone's riding on Reinhold, okay, and Everton, because you, that filth, yeah I'm gonna say you slathered on yourself so you're just like disappeared on top of Reinhold's arm and like Reinhold is now confused, like it feels like someone's sitting on my arm, yet I can't see them.

Speaker 8:

Well, so he's able, I'm able to disappear, but it just makes it where people have a really hard time noticing me there. It says it requires a DR16 presence test to notice me.

Speaker 1:

It is you on, still on his arm. Oh, you only got a 14.

Speaker 8:

No, yeah, I got that. What I meant was if I hopped on his arm and I think he'd know I was there or would freak out one of the two.

Speaker 1:

Oh, hokey dokey, Alrighty. So everyone, we are heading now. The pathway is open to the plague. Now Reinhold is actually trying to hold back. Would Argrics or Eric be leading the way, or would you just walk behind Reinhold?

Speaker 4:

You know what I'll do it, why not?

Speaker 1:

And Reinhold made sure to make sure that Nava was able to get back on his arm.

Speaker 3:

Oh, thank you, Mmm. Yeah, sexy.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, interesting face, interesting face. And that's when you notice that Reinhold is unnervingly beauty, beautiful and shockingly clean. How a murderer is that beautiful and that clean? The world will never know. Now, as we're getting closer to the plague pit, the repugnant smell, illuminated by moonlight, the color of sour milk encircled by soupy fog whose tinge rolls a cage down. There's corpses at differing stages of decay, and it's just Egerton. You feel at home. And now here's the thing. There's all these bodies around everyone. I'm going to ask everyone do you loot the bodies? Oh, of course, that's one vote to loot the bodies.

Speaker 8:

Egerton doesn't loot he borrows, that's two votes to loot the bodies Like Scrooge McDuck.

Speaker 6:

I'm just going to like dive into the pile.

Speaker 1:

All right, that's three votes, that's majority. So I'm going to roll a D6 twice, guys. One, that is a seven, so let's see what happens. Okay, so the first one was a three. So the first thing that's found is you, argrics, you pick up a pendant featuring a portrait of a mouthless man and Nava, you find a rusted but functional short sword.

Speaker 3:

I can still pawn it.

Speaker 1:

And finally, like do you keep looting or do you leave that or do you stop looting? I'll do it one more time.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, I'll do it Loot the bodies.

Speaker 1:

Would anybody else like to join still, or are we going so? Reinhold is curious now and Egerton is still looking for stuff to borrow. Correct.

Speaker 4:

Um, you're okay with that big guy.

Speaker 1:

Oh, um. So, Egerton, um, hold on, let me do the math real quick. Are you kidding me? Wait, let me make sure I read that correctly. Yeah, I read that correctly. Okay, yep, you found 16 silver. Hey, he loves jingles, jangles. And then, last but not least, Then the jingle pocket. Big boy found nope, we already did that one. Oh no, I had a five, 10 feet of rope with noose still firmly tied.

Speaker 5:

Maybe we use for hunting.

Speaker 4:

Well, if we ever we could use it for hunting, or if we ever need to, you know, hang somebody.

Speaker 1:

To with your bravery of actually looting the body. Strange because, as you're stepping around, pulta's foot stops and presses on a room that glows white, opening the next path to the origin fountain.

Speaker 2:

She's going to stop, stare at the place that just opened up and then point it like yep.

Speaker 1:

And that's when Reinhold goes, scoops back up Pulta, puts her on his shoulders, picks up Navon to his left arm. He picks up Egerton on his right and looks at Argerix and Erick and goes let's go, can I do something? Hold on.

Speaker 6:

Yes, yes, you may. Okay, so just for more efficient travel, I'm going to tie. I'm going to tie some rope around Tangle's legs to Reinhold's waist. I'm just going to sit on Tangle and ride him like a sled. I made a Tangle booth, that pendant.

Speaker 7:

Got to dam it.

Speaker 4:

Hey guys, what's that other thing over there?

Speaker 1:

Okay, so I'm very happy that Erick pointed out, because everyone is going to roll a DR8 presence roll, so this one's for Navon. Navon passes with an 18. Reinhold roll the one he fumbled.

Speaker 3:

Oh he's carrying me.

Speaker 4:

So can I use one of my omens to negate it?

Speaker 1:

Yes, you may. Actually you can. You guys can do that.

Speaker 4:

Uh yeah, I would like to use one of my omens to negate that fumble.

Speaker 1:

And Reinhold gets to re-roll and he rolls a passing 13. So, thank you, um everybody else, you're.

Speaker 4:

I'll go with 13.

Speaker 1:

All right, we have two more passes with a 19 and a 13. 18. Destroying these and, last but not least, Mr Argrics, 15. Everyone passes, so no one is you all. Keep your cool. As you approach the origin fountain, and all around you, all you hear all you. You just smell stagnant water, but you hear the whispers of laughing children all around. It's a grand rectangular fountain, decorated. There's cherubs vomiting mists. There's two statues at the fountain's crest and they're they're holding a stone jar. There's a bridge of protruding pillars that lead across the mist to a stone door. The door is just. It's just another entrance to the cat down to the sewers. It won't get you out of the graveyard. Can Aiki borrow the jar? Holy shit, Are you kidding? Give me a DR16 agility roll. I can't bail you out of this one bud. Everyone does have omens too, so Give me one moment.

Speaker 1:

I just used one down the road. I don't know, I don't know, but B, would you roll, give me one moment, because there's something about agility with mine. Yeah, yep, yep. So it's a DR16 agility roll.

Speaker 2:

I would also like to pat him on the back and lower that by four.

Speaker 1:

That's a easy speaker truce I want to hold this one out there, Okay so that's only a DR12 roll.

Speaker 8:

All presence and agility rolls have their DR reduced. All presence and agility tests have their DR reduced by two.

Speaker 1:

So that's a DR10 roll.

Speaker 8:

Well, dr normal rolls, normal tests are DR10 instead of 12.

Speaker 1:

Holy, okay, so go ahead, give me a DR10 roll. You reduced that by six, wow, 14. So you do not fall into the mist. Now I'm actually reading this from the book. This is not me yet. So this is what you find in the Jarby, and as you reach in, you trigger the next room to activate the next path, because it was hidden in the goddamn jar. I didn't think you'd go for that first, but anyway. What you also find, though, is nostalgia grew. Grewl. Enough to restore two people to their prime by increasing all abilities by plus one, but that sounds helpful. Yeah, so you have enough of nostalgia grew for two people, and that's a plus one, and that's a permanent increase.

Speaker 8:

He will pass one to Paul, his partner, in writing along, okay as you both eat.

Speaker 1:

if you eat, the nostalgia grew, you'll well take a plus one in all your abilities. Wow, no, I mean it was a DR16 roll, but still that is a badass item to get.

Speaker 8:

There was no shot, Aiden, he wasn't going to borrow what was in the jar. When you said there was a jar.

Speaker 1:

Well, B, I'm just applauding your thinking man, because you just went, which was cool, that's all.

Speaker 2:

It's plus one for all stats.

Speaker 1:

All abilities, yeah, for all stats, for all four of them. That's just so wow, that is fucking cool.

Speaker 8:

He said she's having AG on the back.

Speaker 1:

See, like I said, this is why I like the system listeners. There's, granted, yeah, there's like risk and stuff, but there's cool stuff like that. And that was me just reading, going with the book, with what's in the graveyard. So, and with that you triggered the next rune and have triggered the next pathway to the final location the mouse vomitorium. Is there anything anybody wants to do before I read about you guys going there?

Speaker 2:

I would like to summon the two scrolls.

Speaker 4:

Do it, do it, so two little cat scrolls.

Speaker 2:

there you have two. So, I got two sacred scrolls like he's once each Nice, oh no remember.

Speaker 1:

so omens are that like add plus one. Oh no, no, you have all of them. You can just use the omen for what you want twice, but it's once a day, and you can recharge them with a long rest. So that's all. It's the powers. That are the difference. So, and listeners, just to let you know, the omens is a fun mechanic in this game, to where, when you trigger a omen, it activates certain things that'll deal with the role and you, depending on what class you are, you could have one omen or two, and you actually can recharge these by resting. And Kat's class that she's playing actually is able to make scrolls, which is the magic of this world, and she made two of them. Is there anything else anybody wants to do for prep-wise?

Speaker 6:

Okay. So what are you? What do we stay around us again, okay.

Speaker 1:

I will. I will describe it now for you very well, because as you are approaching the final location you are coming to the mouse. Vomitorium Acid, sour smell permeates the air, illuminated by sickly glowing puddles of green and yellow gall. The sound of a boiling pot is in the distance. There's an ornate stone wall chamber, black stone floor eroded by pools of gall, which is puke. Two rolls of columns hold the chamber's buckling ceiling, a marble coffin on a raised dais, leaking yellow gall from a bubbling.

Speaker 4:

That's what you see. Well, somebody really went out of their way to make sure that nobody messed with that coffin over there.

Speaker 2:

I have a quick question. Yeah yes, how dark is it around us?

Speaker 1:

It is actually very well illuminated. There are, there are, there are ornate torches along the walls, that so the room is very well illuminated. And then that glowing yellow puke, of course, has given off quite some aluminous as well.

Speaker 6:

Okay, I would like to, because it seems like everything is astody and hot. So I'd like to use foul local pomp and someone's from the zombies to go get that casket, you son of a biscuit.

Speaker 2:

So, sorry. Your fellow psycho pump. You have to roll a D6 to see whether there's zombies.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so give it up. So roll, roll a D6 for me first. Yeah, thank you, thanks. Thank you, kat, and that would be, I believe. Is that for the zombies or skeletons, if you roll a six?

Speaker 2:

Six is zombie or zombies, so roll a D4.

Speaker 1:

That's how many zombies, and then I'll tell us how many zombies you get. Okay, so this is what happens as you summon these two zombies. Because what would have happened the minute you started approaching the coffin? Because, yes, this is where the final rune was held, on the underside of the lid, but the intense burning from the acid would have caused you to take D6 damage each step you took. So, with that, the zombies slowly start to dissolve away as they press the rune on the underside of the coffin. But they come with a certain item. It is called a corrupted horn of roses. And as the last zombie dissolves away into a puddle of zombie goo, the corrupted horn of roses sits there. And allow me to read what this is A human-sized ivory horn bedecked with mouse family skulls and bound in magical intrigue. When blown, it spews a noise that forces listeners to test toughness. Dr10 are vomited. Acid taking D6 damage Lower. Beware. And that is for you.

Speaker 6:

Argyx, argyx-woo, you can make people puke acid when you blow that horn, argyx-i just want to note too, that the last zombie who retrieved the swarmy as he was dissolving he slowly held up his right hand gave me the thumbs up, as he deserved.

Speaker 8:

Argyx-Maybe just being a little pedantic here, is it all puke acid? Argyx-i mean I don't know if I took any physical damage from my own view, Just checking that it is acidic.

Speaker 1:

And with that shit talk from Egerton. You take you are going to get a sensory, get a sensory strangeness. I roll the two. Everyone looks like they're walking backwards to you. Argyx-hey, he thinks it was worth it. Argyx-made, and with this the passageway to the Undertaker is revealed. Argyx-oh, pass, argyx-so.

Speaker 6:

Argyx-I'm tempted to blow the horn just for fun.

Speaker 4:

Argyx-You blow that horn. I swear you will not like what happens.

Speaker 1:

Argyx-I actually have stuff to read for the Argyx-This is Argyx-God fucking love this game. Argyx-so I actually have stuff that I have to tell you guys. Argyx-so all righty, argyx-so here we go. Argyx-is there anything anyone wants to do along the way to the Undertaker's hut?

Speaker 3:

Argyx-Well, I'm going to have to eat food because I'm starving, but Argyx-I'm starving to get really hungry for some reason.

Speaker 8:

Argyx-If I could just ask a quick question Argyx-Yes, argyx-so my toughness was negative one. Argyx-it's now zero. Because of the Argyx-The rule that I ate Argyx-Yup, argyx-yup, argyx-do I increase my HP by one, since it was subtracted by negative toughness? Argyx-not, yet Argyx-It's just Argyx-Oh, no, argyx-oh, no, argyx-i mean, wouldn't my max HP go up by one? Argyx-oh?

Speaker 1:

wait, argyx-no, you're right. Argyx-yeah, argyx-so increase your health by one you're right, argyx-yup, argyx-your max HP will go up Argyx-Yup, argyx-you're right, argyx-okay, argyx-i'm just curious. Argyx-so yeah, update, update, update that. Argyx-you too, kat Kat-All righty guys.

Speaker 6:

Kat-Okay, I'm back. My discord just disconnected on me, but I'm back, kat-welcome back.

Speaker 1:

Argyx-Thanks, argyx-oh, argyx-and you were about to say Kat.

Speaker 2:

Kat-So Sylas was saying he wanted to hunt. I wanted to use one of my scrolls for that, actually.

Speaker 1:

Argyx-Go right ahead.

Speaker 2:

Kat-Well. First I wanted it would be a presence roll right To check our surroundings.

Speaker 1:

Argyx-Yup, that's, you already nailed it, because I wanted to see if anyone wanted to check their surroundings, and that will be a DR12 presence roll.

Speaker 2:

Kat-I got a nine.

Speaker 1:

Argyx-I got a 10. Argyx-yup, argyx-yup, argyx-okay, argyx-so hold on, argyx-let me Argyx-So, um, hold on. Everything seems in order but, argyx and Nava, you both notice there's blood leaking out of the doorway to the Undertaker's hut and one of the windows is broken and you see three shadows moving around on the inside.

Speaker 4:

Kat-Uh, I'm gonna pull out my sword. Argyx-pokely, jokely Kat-Should we knock. Argyx-why.

Speaker 1:

Kat-Does Nava, tell anyone what shedoes Nava, or Argyx, let everyone know what they see. Argyx-of course Kat-Ryan Hold puts down his two compatriots and he pulls out his mighty femur. And that's when you guys notice that out of his shadow two little monkeys pop out.

Speaker 5:

Argyx-nyeh nyeh, nyeh nyeh nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh come on vicious. Let's get to it. Kat-nyeh, argyx-yeah.

Speaker 1:

Kat-Nyeh Argyx-Yeah, kat-nyeh Argyx-Yeah, argyx-yeah, argyx-yeah, argyx-yes, dude, argyx-let's get to it. Kitsk, kitsk, kitsk, kitsk.

Speaker 4:

Who are you to it?

Speaker 1:

One has a black powder bomb and the other one has a pistole.

Speaker 3:

Kat-And who are you Argyx-Who are you to?

Speaker 1:

Kitsk, kitsk, kitsk, kitsk, kitsk. Argyx-nyh Kitsk, kitsk. Argyx-they the little monkeys look pissed off at all of you and they just clamp shut. Argyx-ryan Hold goes. These are my little friends um. They follow me um, argyx-the one with the shooty-lout thingy, the thing that holds in hand and makes people heads pop, argyx-uh Kitsk, kitsk Sid. The one with the butt, with the thing that makes very loud noise and makes hole in ground, his name is Vicious.

Speaker 5:

They live in my shadow times. They're my little monkey friend. Yeah, we're monkeys, right.

Speaker 3:

I'm gonna put my sword away.

Speaker 4:

Yeah, remind me to stay in front of you and that behind you.

Speaker 5:

Subhas, what are we doing? Nava say uh, people do we go with, uh, splattering ram? No, oh, okay, okay, okay, okay.

Speaker 4:

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, easy, easy big guy. Hmm, let's try. The cop not coprication away first and then we'll use the battering ram. How's about that, buddy?

Speaker 5:

It's, uh, splattering ram. That's when I I put, I put Vicious on on a tree and I smashed it into a door and he makes the big like loud explodey thing in the house where he ever I smashed it in and usually it splatters the room, which is why we call it the splattering ram.

Speaker 4:

Uh, yeah you go, I'm gonna knock off the door.

Speaker 5:

All right, I go. I go, punch a tree.

Speaker 1:

So Reinhold's gonna go punch, literally punch down a tree, and Eric, when you knock on the door it just creaks open and three individuals notice you and I'm going to roll a reaction. Roll real quick.

Speaker 4:

Hello.

Speaker 1:

Before, because before they even anything even happens, what do they do when they see you? Oh dear, close my, close their dice. D. So let me get my, uh, silly dice roller. So it's a D20. Oh, I rolled the wrong thing, sorry, it's 2D6. Sorry, I rolled the wrong thing. So that is a six. And their reaction is who the fuck are you? Get the fuck out of here, man? Don't just say we're busy.

Speaker 4:

I have you. It's even what. All I see is three dudes walking in a cabin by themselves. I mean, come on, guys, if you're really gonna be doing that kind of stuff, at least be somewhat cautious and lock the door so somebody like I don't know me does it walk in and see that.

Speaker 1:

So that's when the the one, the gentleman in the middle, pulls out his sword, pulls out his crossbow, aims it at Nava and goes it's none of your fucking business who we are.

Speaker 7:

Who the fuck are you?

Speaker 3:

I'm the bitch who's going to eat your fucking face off. You don't tell me.

Speaker 1:

And that's when you all noticed the undertaker beating bloody on the ground behind them and what looks like a priest holding his hand above him, chanting something.

Speaker 4:

Can I walk up to the doorway? No, no, no, no, no, no, no Americans just going to go and sock him.

Speaker 1:

Wait, wait, wait. What was, what was cat? What was cat? What were you saying?

Speaker 2:

Can I walk up to the doorway?

Speaker 1:

Oh, I thought you were already there.

Speaker 2:

Oh, okay, yeah, I'm just going to cast death into the room.

Speaker 1:

Um uh, oh, okay, um, give me a DR-14 presence roll, okay. And as Eric is walking, to slug one of these gentlemen in the face because this all depends on if I'm going to roll initiative or not. I got a 21. So I'm going to roll 4d10 real quick. They take 29 damage. Let me check their health. Oh no, they each only had a health HP of two, three and four, so they all fall down dead. I'm going to eat them, blood leaking from their eye socket.

Speaker 8:

Wait, wait, wait. Hey big guy, I got a problem. What Death says all creatures within 30 feet lose a total of 4010. It doesn't say all creatures within 30 feet of a target. It says all creatures within 30 feet, meaning everyone around.

Speaker 1:

Well, actually. So allow me to explain. So how in you don't need to worry about that, because here's the thing because technically this ends battle and the way work for it works just when, even though you reach zero HP, that doesn't mean you die.

Speaker 8:

Oh, I don't know, the spell called death makes me feel like we might die.

Speaker 1:

Well, no, because like the way, the mechanics work that would only that would only send you to broken and then then you would roll a d4 to see if you even die. So that's why I'm just going to be fair and I'm letting it. Nah. But I'm glad you did say that because that isn't going to be extended to the Undertaker, because all you do here from him just to, and he rolls over dead. No wait, actually hold on.

Speaker 2:

I also can make him better, god.

Speaker 4:

Faith. Well, my fun just got got canceled, man.

Speaker 1:

But yes, be your say.

Speaker 8:

I can go. I can go un-meet his faith. Actually, wait one more time, Pete. I can un-meet his faith. One creature dead for no more than a week is awakened, with terrible memories, but awakened. I would like to justify this as me borrowing his soul. You know what?

Speaker 1:

Because it actually is in your description that you would have physical interactions with death, because he would never want to touch you when you die. So I'll just say that you literally just talk to the Reaper and borrowed his soul from the Reaper and you point it back at the Undertaker and he just screams as he shoots upwards and goes oh, oh oh God, I thought I was back in high school again.

Speaker 7:

It was horrible. This time I was nude, Er I?

Speaker 2:

don't want to get any lost.

Speaker 4:

I need that much information.

Speaker 2:

Paltas, good to have you, mother. It welcomes you.

Speaker 1:

Oh, you're definitely one of those people from the Valley of the Undead Dead. You're just as creepy as I remember.

Speaker 8:

No, no, undead, girl. No, no, eggie, saw you, borrowed you back.

Speaker 1:

I want to hug you, but I don't want to touch you. Let's just say thank you, mr Eggie Um or.

Speaker 8:

I take it I'll take a rain check. No, toast is nice. And Eggie reaches into his bag and pulls out a small, very angry looking dog and he goes hug toast. And toast is kind of biting at everyone right now except Eggie.

Speaker 4:

Oh, but he pulls out toast. Eric just snarls.

Speaker 8:

You can't hug toast.

Speaker 2:

She's gonna hold her school till the year that. Oh, Mother loves toast.

Speaker 8:

Everyone loves toast.

Speaker 4:

Yeah, let's just say I don't like other dogs in my pr in my immediate vicinity.

Speaker 8:

Tell us now, doesn't like you either.

Speaker 1:

And take your shower. This is when you guys turn around and you notice that the bodies are gone of the gentlemen, just their items they were carrying on the ground. And you see Reinhold just as a as a foot slides down his mouth.

Speaker 4:

Really big guy, really you couldn't have waited five minutes.

Speaker 5:

I was hungry.

Speaker 1:

And this is when, and this is when he gives Eggie a purse containing 50 silver, he gives Nova 10 bolts and he gives Polta a random sacred scroll. That's what they were carrying.

Speaker 8:

More jingly janglies for Eggie's jingly jangly bag.

Speaker 1:

I am scared to ask how much you have now.

Speaker 8:

How much was it that you just gave him?

Speaker 1:

You were given 16 earlier and another 50 just now.

Speaker 8:

Then Eggie has a hundred and a hundred and sixteen. Nice Eggie's gonna make a nice jingly, jingly bell for Mom.

Speaker 4:

Anyway. So, Mr Undertaker, why were those three individuals attacking you?

Speaker 1:

Well they, I was. My duty was to wait for the wait for the group that was coming from the sewers, and I was to give them the packet of the of the strange citizen that has been spotted. Oh, that's us. Well, that's what those three said, and now I hesitate to even know who is who, and well, here, here, let me, let me bring it down.

Speaker 4:

The guy that just ate the three dead bodies, that's right. Oh yeah, he's a, he's a, very, he's a good boy. The pretty lady up there, the pretty lady is a Nova and, trust me, she is a fox.

Speaker 1:

That's Eric just called Nova Fox cause cause you're talking to the Undertaker. Oh, I am. Yeah, everyone's talking to the Undertaker.

Speaker 4:

Then there's our I owe and his crappy court jester. Trust me, I can't stand him as much as the next guy.

Speaker 1:

The great Lord's name is Igric. Eric just picks up a cup and just chucks it at him, the, and that's when the jester takes hold on. He takes one damage and he is bloody now. Sorry.

Speaker 3:

I'm gonna shut the fuck up. I will eat your face.

Speaker 1:

The jester shuts the fuck up.

Speaker 3:

Thank you.

Speaker 1:

So the Undertaker looks and goes. But um, you did bring me back to life, so I am inclined to believe you, that you are indeed the natural disasters I've been led to believe, especially with that one Cause I felt my life leave me before I was put in the naked high school dream. One did you use the scroll known as? Did you happen to use the scroll known as death?

Speaker 2:

Mother's favorite.

Speaker 1:

Oh goodness, gracious Hi, please make sure to have that one. Use caution when using that. And well, I'm to give you all your rations. Each one of you are given your rations that everyone had rolled for in their character. You're given your food rations and weapons, and I an extra weapons and items and silver. So all right, now I take it. You saw the, the, the pre, that thing that calls himself a priest, mr Recknick, correct?

Speaker 4:

The big giant ugly thing yeah.

Speaker 1:

And he told you the terms that the litch thinks this is all a game and thinks it's all a game.

Speaker 4:

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:

Yes, then you must go kill each one of the strange citizens and procure the jewel that they are in possession of.

Speaker 4:

Yeah, that's a short. That's a short end of it. Yeah.

Speaker 7:

Okay, yes.

Speaker 1:

Okay, yes, you are indeed the ones I must speak with, and the first target here's a dubious one. He used to be part of the sacred merchants guild, but after he met Dr Steen he became the horrid abomination he is now with in an absurd obsession with conquering the man. 100 man slayer's record in body count. That's going to be fucking impossible. Oh well his name is Gunter Buckler.

Speaker 4:

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. So there's a guy better than this Gunther guy. Wait a minute.

Speaker 1:

Here's. I wouldn't say he's better than Reinhold, eh, but his skills are, are to say, quite impressive. The fact that he has come from the Western Kingdom it. I mean, look, it's already bad enough with Reinhold out. Do we really need someone that could potentially leave that many bodies around?

Speaker 4:

I mean it's more food. Well, I mean, if you think of it this way, he at least gets to eat the bodies.

Speaker 1:

Reinhold's mouth, that's when you notice that, like from Reinhold's mouth, it's just like a faucet of drool just pouring out of his mouth and he's just look. There are other things. I've only heard rumors of how it works with the strange citizens, but the only one who would be able to tell you anything about him would be that one, and he points at Polta.

Speaker 4:

Let me guess, hey Polta, you know anything about this guy. What did he help? Her Dark gloomy likes to murder people. Without her abandonment, he just holds up the skull.

Speaker 1:

Yes, um, he was a what she. I take what she's saying is he was one of the individuals that killed all of her people. And shh, I am sorry, my dear, I did not mean to bring up such memories. The Undertaker apologizes to you.

Speaker 4:

Polta Reinhold, just yeah, oh yes, I was no, that was me, oh yes. So this is the guy that off the entire, offed powers Polta's people. One of eleven, there's eleven of them. Good, I wonder what I've always wanted to see, what Gore actually happens to people from that era.

Speaker 1:

Now I have a peculiar deal for you all. Now, you see, I like to experiment on bodies. I like to learn the ways of anatomy. I can tell you if I can learn the anatomy of a strange citizen. Hope you're wrong.

Speaker 7:

I'm going.

Speaker 1:

I would gladly pay you a bound Say if you bring me the bar tea of Gunter, I'll pay you two silver. But if you bring me a him alive, I'll gladly pay you twenty silver.

Speaker 4:

Reinhold just looks and goes. Listen, reinhold, no disrespect to you, big guy, but I think this is Polta's decision.

Speaker 7:

Fair, fair, yes, Now I understand.

Speaker 1:

It's just like I said. I just want to experiment Now in this package.

Speaker 7:

You will find all of the information of Gunter and everything you'll need to know about him, but I will tell you where he was last found and where you will need to proceed to Now he has last been spotted and sl and sh- shell-sweak. It is quite a distance from where we are currently. You, this is your great task and I was informed to tell you that you now you might be tempted to just skirt these responsibilities and forget all of it.

Speaker 1:

It might not be in your best interest, because the good Doctor Satan implanted into you a certain ability that, if you were, to violate a certain catalyst, the beast within you will come ripping out it. Well, we can't have that.

Speaker 7:

Well, we will be forced to issue an official bounty for your death.

Speaker 3:

And what exact and what exactly is this catalyst?

Speaker 1:

Oh, you'll know it best, you'll feel it in you, you'll know exactly what the beast what keeps the beast at bay. I mean, look at your dear friend over there as he's devouring my wife and you see Reinhold just swallowing as a hand just that woman's just-.

Speaker 4:

Reinhold spit her out. No, reinhold spit her out.

Speaker 1:

You just see a little old lady just in a fetal position, just-. I'm still meeting this guy, though and that's when you notice there was a little Reinhold's holding a goblin that has weird stitching all around him, and before you say anything else, he's already down Reinhold's mouth. He was delicious.

Speaker 3:

Save me a piece Damn.

Speaker 1:

He tosses you a leg. Thank you, I eat it Anyway-.

Speaker 4:

But yes, when we kill them we get two silver. If we bring them back to you, you'll pay us Twenty silver. And wait a minute, I thought it was twenty-two, ten times what he's worth.

Speaker 1:

Oh, Um, nova, I'm giving you I'm gonna have you roll a presence roll of a DR-10, which you rolled an eleven Fine. Twenty-two gold if you bring him a lot, twenty-two silver if you bring him a lot.

Speaker 4:

Well, I can't make this decision, it's not mine.

Speaker 1:

Now, aten Now. You don't need to decide this now, at the time of once you encounter him I'm sure you will be passions will be heated and decisions will be made. Then, nick, trust I you can make your decision then, but you have quite a travel in front of you. I won't be keeping you long. So good luck, dear ones, and remember, keep those beasts at bay Well, until the time is right, because, who knows, they could be useful in a good fight.

Speaker 3:

I'm taking the packet with my-.

Speaker 1:

Nova is given the pa-. Nova takes the packet. And I'm going to copy this over to the Discord for you play for everyone to see. This is the information about his background and who he was before he was turned by Dr Steen. His nickname when he was in the Merchant's Guild was that he was the back alley merchant. But now he is just a brutal murderer, because where did you think he found all of his new wares? And with that you have players, you have conquered the first portion of the story and you are on your way to conquer against the first strange citizen. His last known location is in Schleschweb. Now we will leave off on this session here, because we'll find out because it's going to be at least a minimum of maybe even 10 days for the players to even get there, and we don't even know if they'll find ends or if they'll have to hunt or what else could even happen on the road there. This is Morkborg, after all, and anything can happen. So with that, everyone, until the next dip, until our next one bye.

Exploring the Dark World of Morkborg
Led to the Shadow King's Crypts
Transformation and Encounter With Strange Entities
Journey Through the Shadow King's Sewers
Discovering Treasures in Mysterious Location
Unexpected Encounter With Attackers and Undertaker
The Quest to Kill Gunter Buckler
From Merchants to Murderers