EP97: When Life Trips You Up (Literally)

….aka the one where I break my arm… and still show up.

This week, I wasn’t planning on recording.

Because I wasn’t planning on breaking my f*cking arm.

And yet….here I am. Messy bun. Painkillers. Microphone. Because there’s something about being cracked open that reminds you what really matters.

In this (very human, slightly wobbly) episode, I talk about….

• What breaking my arm taught me about business, identity, and being forced to slow the hell down
  
  
• Why survival mode is seductive (but also suffocating)
  
  
• How reinvention often begins in the rubble… or in my case, the A&E waiting room

No 5-step plans. No polished takeaways. Just the raw, real truth of what happens when the woman who holds it all together… can’t.

If you’ve ever found yourself flat on your back (figuratively or literally), this one’s for you.

Hit play, love. Let’s rewrite the narrative, bruises and all.

Loads of love,

Sarah x

🩷

Transcript

Hello, it's Sarah here. Welcome back to the divorce chapter podcast. And full disclosure, this wasn't quite the episode I had planned for this week, because last Saturday, I broke my arm, pretty badly, bad, pretty bad. I've been able to work. I've been in so much freaking pain I can't even tell you, completely in freaking nimbo. And honestly, kind of full body surrender, learning how to be left handed. But I didn't want to totally disappear this week, because, you know, turns out, reinvention doesn't always begin with a vision board. Sometimes it starts with a collision course and a cracking noise, you know, because what's happening in my life right now, this mess, this utter chaos, this pause, this cracked, open moment, is actually exactly what reinvention, what creating a new chapter actually fucking looks like, you know? So today I'm not here to teach to go all in on a particular subject. I'm just here to, I guess, speak straight from the in between bit, just a few minutes, maybe 10 minutes. I don't actually know how long I'll get on for, but just what's real, you know? So what happened? Okay, well, I would love, love, love to have a really cool rock and roll story for you. But there was no bar fight. There was no motorbike, not even a faint in spare after a steamy encounter with a hot stranger. Nope. Just me flip flops in a very unsexy way of the universe, apparently, saying SLOW THE FUCK DOWN, sir, yes, you heard me flip flops. I live in havianas from pretty much March to October. I'm kind of that girl, you know? I'm known for my flip flops. I love my avianas. I've got so many colours, and I'm just comfy in them, you know, and I wear them with everything. Well, I did. Let me say, Me and the previously trustee arianas are no longer besties. That's all I'm saying. We've fallen out big time. So I was at full walk, and basically I went down these concrete steps, and the front of my flip flop kind of caught, like flipped back, flip flopped on the about the third step. And because it the way, it kind of caught, it almost like propelled me with force, like I was a freaking rocket off the stairs onto the pavement, and my entire body basically smashed against the post that holds the pedestrian crossing boxes, you know, like the metal poles of traffic lights, and you've got the little yellow pedestrian crossing box that you pressed across the Road. Well, basically my whole of my it wasn't my whole body. My right arm smashed into that. Literally smashed into it. And I knew straight away I was like my arm was floppy. My hand felt like it was not part of my body. A lot. I didn't know what was going on. It was like, terrifying. Um, but, yeah, anyway, long story short, I have, I don't know you say it communuted Or commune I don't communed or something fracture. That apparently means it's broken in more than three places. So this communal did fracture to my humorous bone, which is not fucking humorous at all, let me tell you. So it's like my upper right arm. And yes, it's fucking painful. And yes, so my you know, being the hyper independent chick that I like to be, oh God, having to ask for help. It's really, really not funny. It's not humorous. But you know what? Actually, it's amazing. Things you can learn to do really bloody quickly with your left hand when you need to. You. Just saying, you know? So, yeah, that was my flip flop fracture, fuck up, and also bit me big toe. Now enough, but that's the least of me worries. You know, my arm is now kind of braced up. I've got this brace across my whole body with it, kind of this solid brace around the top of my arm, basically with the hope that I won't need an OP. So pray for me. Love. Pray for me anyway. Basically, I just didn't want to disappear today, and I just wanted to say that, I suppose breaking my arm reminded me that you can be strong and still be stopped in his tracks. And what I'm continuing to learn really freaking quickly is that that's not weakness, that's being human, human, because we live in a world, don't we? That praises the woman that keeps going, the woman who pushes through, doesn't let anything slow her down. And believe me, honestly, I am struggling, having to slow down and fucking ask a bit of help. Fuck me. Horrendous. I've got super bloody fidgety the last few days because I'm not good at, you know, sitting doing absolutely nothing, but everything I do to takes me bloody age, isn't it? Bloody Earth. But you know what? It's okay, and that's what I'm telling myself, as much as I'm saying to you today, because we are human beings. We're not human doings. We have to do, do, do, do, do all the goddamn time. But we're human beings, and we don't just let ourselves just be, just be. And this is as much of me as it is for you. Because, like, if you've ever felt guilty for pausing, for slowing down, for stopping, I see you. You know, if rest makes you twitchy and all completely same, but the truth is, stillness isn't stagnation. It's not lazy. It's almost weirdly a strategy, because what I've come to realise over these past few days is that real reinvention, real change, real growth, doesn't happen in the hustle. It doesn't it doesn't happen in the hustle. It happens in the halt, in the stop. I know I get the best ideas when I Slow the fuck down. I know I do shower wisdom driving in the car. I get amazing ideas when I just stop and allow my brain to just be free and be creative, like it's supposed to fucking be the part of your brain that's creative is shut down when you're constantly in fight and flight and constantly in the stress, and you've constantly got the cortisol and adrenaline running around your body in the doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo and that part of your brain switches off. So when you switch, when you go into a rest and digestate, actually, that's when everything comes that's the magic, you know. So when everything you've been juggling gets dropped and you're forced to, like, ask, who even am I when I can't perform my usefulness? Who am I when I can't function at full capacity? I'll tell you right now who I am. I'm a woman with one sort of working arm, not very well, and a whole lot of truth and feeling and satisfaction that I can't unsee now, you know, like things like my worth isn't in my output. Like me showing up, my presence doesn't have to be polished. It doesn't have to be fucking perfect. And also, reinvention, this change, this growth. It's not some like season your schedule. You don't put it in your calendar say, Well, I'm going to do that today. It's what happens when the script gets fucking ripped up mid scene and you have to show up anyway. So maybe your arm isn't broken, maybe your life has cracked open in other ways that you didn't choose. Maybe divorce has shocked your identity. It's shaken you to the core. Maybe motherhood has consumed you or menopause,

Sarah Elizabeth  9:56  

maybe you're just so damn tired of. Being the one who always copes, who does it all with a fixed smile and a fine time on her face. And you keep thinking, I'll start again when, well, got some energy. Or you think, oh yeah, now I need to sort my shit out, but I just haven't got time. Or, like, I'd love to reinvent my life. One day, I'll do it. I'll do it one day, one day when I'm ready. So when I then I thing, we talked about that last month in the book club, that when I then I thing when I lose weight, then I will do this when I have money, then I will do this when I finish my project, then I will do this when the kids have left home, then I'll do this. Probably some of you now have got kids going to uni in September and going, yeah, when they've gone to uni, I will do this. But you know what the plot twist is that reinvention does not knock fucking politely. It kicks the damn door in when your grip finally slips, it doesn't wait for your permission. It like begins when your control breaks. So give yourself a break, just preferably not your arm. Love, you know. But honestly, please don't wait for the crisis to force you to slow down and think about what it is that you want in life. This podcast has always been about truth, right? And the truth is, I didn't feel like recording today. I didn't. I hurt. I'm running out of me codeine. But something deeper in me said, Don't disappear, sir. Show up. Cracked real. Show up exactly as you are. People get it and you know what? So that's what I did. Maybe that's what you needed to hear today. I don't know. So I know it's a bit of a short one, but if it has landed today, this episode for you in that kind of war place where you're under the surface and it's bubbling and it's waiting to explode, just let me know, dear me on Instagram. Tell me where you're needing to reinvent and stopping yourself, even if it's messy, especially if it's fucking messy, because we're in this together. You know, broken bones, brave, truths, bold, fucking returns, whatever it looks like, we're in it together. Okay, so I will be back in your beautiful badass earbuds again next week, with hopefully a little bit less more pain, less more pain, less pain and more sense. Who knows? Until then, don't wait for things to be fixed. Just let them be fucking real. I am sending you so much love. Bye.