EP100: Divorce Was Just the Beginning: This Is Reinvention

Welcome to The Reinvention Era

This isn’t just another episode… it’s a f*cking turning point.

If you’ve ever wondered “Have I done enough? Healed enough? Changed enough?”... this one is your proof that you already have. 

Episode 100 marks the mic-drop moment where The Divorce Chapter podcast evolves into something bigger, bolder, and more aligned than ever.

💥 This is The Reinvention Era… and it starts right here.

I’m sharing my story, my burn-it-all-down moment, and why this space is no longer just about divorce, but about identity return, soul-level reinvention, and reclaiming the woman underneath all the roles, labels, and survival stories and the BS.

Inside this episode:

• What identity loss after divorce really feels like
  
  
• Why reinvention is a lifestyle, not a phase
  
  
• The #1 question to ask when the old story no longer fits
  
  
• A no-bullshit invite to stop apologising and start creating
  
  
• The real reason we’re burning the beige and rewriting the rules

Whether you’re divorced or not, if you’re done shrinking and ready to live like the main character in your own damn life, this episode is your sign. Your permission slip. Your plot twist.

Because this isn’t just a podcast.
It’s a movement.

Let’s f*cking go.

Loads of Love,

Sarah x

🩷

📚 JOIN THE BADASS AF BOOK CLUB

To celebrate episode 100 AND my 53rd birthday (on August 3rd!) I’ve reinvented the book club into something even bolder…

🔥 Introducing: The Badass AF Book Club

Not your average circle of wine and self-help. This is a paperback rebellion; one powerful book a month, with private chapter-by-chapter podcast chats and unfiltered discussions to spark your next evolution.

🧨 August’s book: You Are A Badass by Jen  

The book that had to kick off this reinvention era.

🎉 And for two weeks only, get 53% off your first month
 (That’s my age, and nope , I’m not doing the maths. But it’s a steal)

📚 JOIN The Badass AF Book Club

🔥 DOWNLOAD FREEBIES TO FUEL YOUR REINVENTION

📲 FOLLOW on Instagram and Facebook

🩷

Transcript

00:00

Hola badass and welcome. So if you've ever doubted whether you've done enough, changed enough, healed enough, this episode is your proof that you bloody already have. Now, this might sound like just another podcast intro, but by the end of this episode, you will know something has changed. This is the moment the mic turns. This is episode 100. Welcome to the reinvention era, because this space is no longer about just the divorce chapter. It's about the whole goddamn life transformation. It's not about who left or what broke you or what nearly took you down, but who you are now, and even more so, who's rising now. This is your invitation to meet the woman underneath the survival story, and to finally say she's ready for fucking more. Now, as you'll know if you follow this podcast for a while, I started the divorce chapter because of my own shit show and wanting to create a space where women could move forward together. This was after my own relationship ended very badly after 23 years and after financial abuse, emotional abuse, latterly physical abuse, and infidelity, causing significant betrayal trauma, and I sort of say in jest, but it wasn't. It was fucking hell on earth. And I've often described that time as as like an earthquake, because we had built up this whole beautiful world around us, and the whole fucking lot came crashing down with several tremors and aftershocks to follow. And how it felt to me at the time was that I was left standing there in shock, in a pile of freaking dust and rubble, and there was nothing left of our marriage. The 23 years, everything we had, everything our marriage was, there, was fuck all left, and I didn't know how the hell to rebuild. So after a lot of mistakes, which I always say, I made so that you don't have to, I learned a completely new way. And so I started the divorce chapter to help support, help mentor others going through that same shit show what can only be defined as trauma. And, look, you know, I have enjoyed every single goddamn moment of the last 100 episodes, even when some of them have been fucking tough, like talking domestic abuse, like talking infidelity, betrayal, narcissism, trauma, bonds, gaslighting, all that stuff is so fucking shit to experience, and is exactly why those episodes, the first 99 are going absolutely fucking nowhere. They're staying right there in the podcast, Library of this podcast forever for anyone who ever needs them at any time, because that is so freaking important, and it's important to me that that information is still there for you, right? 

04:09

But what I've grown to realise over doing those 99 now 100 episodes, is that the bigger part for me, one of the hardest parts for me, actually, was the loss of my identity, the loss of me, in that marriage, in the divorce, with everything that followed, like I'd been with the ex husband since I was 17. I was married with two kids but 21 I'd lost my parents by the time I was 30, and then divorced at 40. I'd had all of these freaking labels, wife, Mum, daughter, then job labels, no like foster carer, teacher of child development, social worker, manager, all. Freaking labels, all the labels, which is, you know, great for the high achiever perfectionist that I was, um, whatever, but at the root of it all, who the fuck was I? Who was Sarah, and that loss of identity after divorce and working out who the fuck I am now was truly, for me, one of the hardest bits. You know, once the legal shit had been done, once his bankruptcy was done, once the kids had left and grown up and empty nest and all that grandkids arriving. Who am I now? And I guess over the last few months, particularly within the divorce book club as well, and during the last 100 episodes of the divorce chapter, I've realised that the books and the episodes I love, love loved doing the most were the ones about the transformation after divorce, reinventing ourselves, the ones about creating a new vision, the ones about creating a new identity. Those ones, those were the ones that excited me, because I realised that's the part I struggled with, and there wasn't shit out there to help me with that. There's stuff everywhere about the legal side of divorce, the financial side of divorce, co parenting, dealing with a narc, healing from abuse. There's a shit done out there on all of that, but not so much about working out who you need to be after divorce, and not even just after divorce as well, after burnout, after menopause, after the kids have left home, when we have these amazing fucking careers on LinkedIn, a beautifully, beautifully curated, Pinterest worthy social media, it's all fucking Perfect on paper, but inside, you feel a bit empty, like you sort of know there's more. There's gotta be more than this. But how, how do you work out your purpose? And we hear so much now about finding your purpose, like it's a thing, like it's a job. And you think, Oh, my God, I'm 30 years into my career. How am I going to find my purpose now then what? What do I do? What do I do? The purpose is about being. That's purpose.It's about a way of being. 

07:57

So how do you work out who it is you want to be that way of being? How do you re evaluate all of these freaking labels you've put on yourself society's put on you and decide if they still fit? And I guess for me, over the last few months, with my own burnout of sorts, even then with breaking my arm, it just hit me, this podcast, the book club, it's no longer just about divorce. It's about so much more than that. We are so much more than that. You know, I receive DMS, voice notes, messages all about how this podcast, the book club, how my free resources have helped women. And you know what, quite often it makes me cry, because that's what I started this, that's what I did. This to help people. But it's not about me. It's about holding the mirror up for you to become the beautiful badass you already are inside, but it just got lost somewhere. And I've realised that what started as the divorce chapter was never just about divorce. It was about identity loss and now identity return, which is why we're reinventing this podcast, reinventing the book club, so that you can enter your reinvention era. She's in a reinvention era. Yes, she is, and it's not about being loud or reckless or always brave. It's about being done shrinking, done apologising, done explaining your evolution. To people who liked you better. Beige, they liked you better. Vanilla. It's easier for them, not you. It's easier for them. Feels better for them. So this podcast is now for any woman, divorce or not, reclaiming, not fucking reacting. So you know what? Take a minute now to just think about what reinventing yourself as bad ass as fuck might look like. Who are you now?

10:31

And more than that, who would you want to be if there was no bullshit from society, from other people, from labels and all that shit that's put on you. Who would you want to be? It's like the we're born and given this script to play a role, and we've learned the scripts. We live, the fucking script, we wear, the costume, we say, the words, we do, as we're told, as we've been conditioned. But what if? What if we want to play a different role. What if we actually played the main character in our own life, our own show, and not doing this, not doing it, is a bit like being the lead actor in your own life, but constantly handing the script to someone else to write, and then getting pissed off when the plot shit, when the plot sucks, you're getting young like, why is my life like this? Meanwhile, whilst giving the pen to people who don't even know your freaking storyline, write your damn lines, take the mic, rewrite the scene. It's your freaking show. We tell our kids all the time, don't we to go for their dreams. Who do you want to be when you grow up? It's like, what do you want to be? As though your job defines everything around you. But we say this, don't we, when they're kids, oh, you can be whatever you want to be, yet, all the while ignoring our own dreams who we wanted to be. What example are we setting to our kids. How are we leading? So think about it. 

12:05

Who are you on the edge of becoming? Maybe you're becoming the woman who doesn't apologise for her aliveness, not having to explain why you want more more attention, more solitude, more sex, more Spark, move whatever you goddamn like, not shrinking your hunger to make others feel more goddamn comfortable. Letting yourself take up space and enjoy fucking, enjoy watching the ripple effect, or maybe you're on the edge of becoming the woman who dresses for a damn self, not what everyone else tells her what she should wear. Oh, you're 15 hours. Should you wear that? Fuck off. Buy the sequin dress, the leather jacket, the red lipstick, not for date, not for photo, because looking good to yourself is important now. Or could you be the woman who doesn't explain her No, says it clearly, calmly, no, just No, no explanation, just no. Doesn't need to feel the silence afterwards. Boundaries are no longer some performance. They're your freaking baseline. Or is it about becoming the woman who turns heads without even freaking trying magnetic as fuck, not because you're loud, but because you're present, because you walk into a room like you paid for every square inch of your gorgeous energy. You don't perform confidence. You remember it you are it is it is it about becoming the woman who laughs from her gut, real, proper belly laughs, not some filter of what you allowed to laugh at, what you allowed to find funny? Maybe you're done creating yourself. It might be crying at the cinema, swearing at the TV, laughing in the middle of the meeting. You're not here to be appropriate. You're here to be alive, a woman who builds, not just balances, no longer just managing a life you don't actually like, let alone love, creating a new one from your nervous system up. And that might mean quitting. It might mean starting. It might mean saying Fuck yes, or saying Fuck this, but it's yours becoming a woman who's not waiting for permission anymore, not from a bloke, not from the kids, not from a culture that's told you thought he was the end of the fucking mode, or that a woman's place is in home, or some other bullshit. You are the plot twist, and you know it you just forgot.

14:46

And my work isn't about handing you the map, it's about handing you the pen and watching you write your fucking legacy, reinvention, like this, rebranding, if you like, it means You're no longer trying to rebuild a life that looks familiar. You're building a life that finally fits you. This is your era. You weren't meant to bounce back. You were meant to break free. You can be whoever you want to be. So that is the shift into the reinvention era, and we've got loads, loads, loads more coming. I'm so excited. This era is only just beginning. On the podcast. We're going to have more identity reclamation episodes, more guest interviews centred on reinvention, fire, fucking power. The new website is live. Which is the dash reinvention era.com? Because, you know, reinvention deserves its own crown, you know. So it's a dash or hyphen. The Dash reinvention era.com there's four new freebies on the new site for you. There's 11 badass questions to remember who the fuck you are. There's 11 books as a download that will burn the beige right off your life. There's an audio pep talk you didn't know you needed. And also, there's the one tool that changed everything for me and will change everything for you. Because reinvention isn't about fixing yourself. You're not fucking broken. It's about finally becoming yourself, unapologetically, powerfully bad ass AF, and talking bad ass AF, the divorce Book Club has also been reinvented to the bad ass AF, Book Club not your average circle of wine and self help. No, this is an online rebellion in paperback, one bad ass book a month, a private chapter by chapter podcast, unfiltered discussion. Because reinvention is not just a phase, it's a fucking lifestyle. And we're kicking off first of August with the one book we had to do for the reinvention you are a badass. By Jen Sincero, so fucking here for it, and because it's my birthday on the third of August, a double celebration of birthday and the rebirth of the book club. For two weeks only, I'm offering a 53% discount off your first month in the book club, 53% because I'm going to be 53 someone else needs to work out 53% of 10 quid a month plus vat, though, because that's not my zone of genius love. But anyway, don't miss out on that. 

17:54

All the details for everything, everything is in the show notes, including Instagram, which is changed to the underscore reinvention era. So do please subscribe to the podcast, share the podcast, tag me on instagram with your hashtag. Reinvention era. Like I said, everything you need to know is in the show notes. But for now, I wanted to introduce our new way forward. Now you're ready to burn the beige. You're ready to write your amazing story, and this time, you're reinventing it as bad as fuck. So welcome home to your reinvention era. This era is honestly only just beginning, and I can't fucking wait for it. Let's fucking go so I will be back in your beautiful, beautiful badass earbuds again next week to get this started. I am sending you so much love. Thank you for being here for 100 and I look forward to many more. Bye.