EP123 Vision in the Messy Middle: Creating Clarity When You Feel Lost

If you’re listening to this at the start of a new year feeling a bit panicked because you don’t have a shiny plan, a five-year vision, or a word of the year nailed down… this episode is for you.

This is not a “new year, new you” pep talk. And it’s definitely not about reinventing yourself from scratch.

This episode is about the messy middle. That uncomfortable, disorientating in-between phase where:

• You’re not who you used to be (thank god)
• But you’re not quite who you’re becoming yet
• The old identity doesn’t fit
• The new one hasn’t landed
• And everyone keeps asking you “So… what’s next?”

In this episode, I’m breaking down what vision actually is (and why most women avoid it), why feeling lost doesn’t mean you’re failing, and how clarity is built inside the uncertainty, not after it.

We talk about:

• Why vision isn’t a plan, a Pinterest board, or a manifestation fantasy
• The difference between identity-led vision and goal-based pressure
• Why high-achieving women get stuck in survival mode instead of direction
• How to create clarity when you genuinely don’t know what you want yet
• The emotional signs you’re in an identity shift (and why that’s not a bad thing)
• How to stop repeating the same year with different dates
• Simple, grounded ways to start building vision without confidence or certainty

This episode is for you if:

• You feel lost, but you know something is changing
• You’re tired of holding everything together
• You’ve outgrown your old life but don’t have the next chapter mapped out
• You’re done surviving and ready to live with intention, even if it scares you

You don’t need the full plan.
You don’t need all the answers.
You don’t need to know the final destination.

You just need direction, self-trust, and the willingness to listen to who you’re becoming.

Because vision doesn’t come after the messy middle. It’s built inside it.

If this episode lands and you’re ready to stop drifting, stabilise your energy, and build a next chapter that actually fits who you are now, drop me a message in the deets below.

Welcome to The Reinvention Era.
This is where it begins.

👑

🔥 DOWNLOAD FREEBIES TO FUEL YOUR REINVENTION

📲 FOLLOW on Instagram and Facebook

🩷

Transcript

Sarah Elizabeth  00:00

Hello. Hello, and welcome to the reinvention era podcast with me, your host, Sarah Elizabeth. And welcome also to the first episode of The New Year 2026 and I betcha every podcast you're listening to every social media post that you've seen, every mate you've got is vibing on the whole New Year, resi energy, right? Which is great from a fresh start perspective. You know, the Fresh Start effect is pretty famously where we like to start shit on a Monday. We like to start shit on the first or start on a new month, a new year. Hell, it might not be a Monday this year, but it ticks all the other boxes, doesn't it? It feels like a good line in the sand to start something new. And I mean the fact that most New Year ressies are burned out and done by the end of January is kind of by the by. We do it every year anyway. Do you know what look for me? I'm not against this. I'm truly not. It sounds like it, but I'm not. I firmly believe that we should plan and have goals, though not too many. I do firmly believe that we should regularly check in with those goals and reflect on our progress. After all, how can you get anywhere if you don't know where you're going or where you're starting from? Actually, I always use you the analogy of driving for this, right? You know, like when you get in the car, you're going somewhere new. You put your destination in the sat nav, and it'll come up, you know, you choose whether you want the quickest route or you want the scenic route. Perhaps you try and predict what road closures there might be. There might be some roadblocks or challenges along the way, you know, but when we do that, we do also need the starting point as well, and people often miss that bit. But quite honestly, think about it for a second, right? If I was on the way to your house and I got a bit lost, I've never been before I got a bit lost, I'd ring you up. I've put the destination in, but I can't work out where I am, so I ring you up, and I say, right, I don't know where the fuck I am. And you'd go, all right, okay, what? What can you say? Where, where are you now, tell me what road you're in. And I'd say, I'm like, I'm on this road, or I can see this shop, or I can see this something else. You know what I mean, right? So we do need to know where we're starting from, as well as where we're going. And that isn't to say that, you know, we might take some detours along the way, and we maybe change route as we go, maybe even change the destination. You might find a better way, but we do need to at least start with some kind of destination, right? So then I think about then, what happens when you're on that route and you've come way too far to go back, but yet you're still so far from where you want to go, it feels a bit like you're lost, even if you followed the sat nav to the letter, you know what I mean, and that messy middle of the journey where suddenly you're not even sure if you still want to go there anymore, but you know, you don't want to go back. It's what happens there. So let's go from there. Shall we, you know, let's open the new year not with fireworks, not with unrealistic resolutions that we've had for the last five years, not with this is my year energy that we say every fucking year, but with the absolute truth of it all, because if you're listening to this right now, there's, I think, a pretty decent chance that you're in that weird, uncomfortable, slightly disorientating in between space, right? You're not who you were, far from it, thank FUCKING GOD, but, but you also you're not quite yet who you're becoming. Either. The old identity doesn't fit, but the new one also hasn't quite landed. And what's worse, it tends to be here where everyone keeps asking you shit like, what are you doing next? What's the plan now? What do you want? Where you going, doing, and all sorts of other shit you just don't have the answers to, and inside you're thinking, I don't fucking know. I just know I can't keep living like this. I can't stay here. And that's. The bit that we're talking about today, because I wanted to do an episode for for those who, like you, might feel lost, but you're also, you know, there's a niggle, there's a quiet awareness that something is shifting in you, and you're tired of holding everything together, and maybe you've outgrown that old life, but you don't know what comes next, and you're done surviving. You're ready for that clarity, but it scares the fucking hell out of you. And if you're any of those or anything else, I just want to say this right up front, right? You do not need to have your entire life totally figured out in order to create a vision. Okay, you do not need confidence to begin the road to something new. You do not even need to know the final, final destination just a rough, freaking direction, because vision. Vision doesn't come after the messy middle. Vision is often what gets built inside of it. The vision is the becoming, but also vision is generally the thing that a lot of people avoid. But this shit matters, you know. And let me tell you what vision actually is, because I do believe it's been pretty butchered by the whole self help industry, vision isn't a Pinterest board, right? It's not a five year plan. It's not manifesting a version of you who drinks green juice and never has anything go wrong. Right? Vision is identity direction. It's the becoming. It answers that one key question, Who am I becoming? And most high achieving women avoid vision work for the one reason in that it forces you to be fucking honest with yourself. Because if you're honest, you might have to admit that you're unhappy, that you've been living on an autopilot, that you've been acting in a version of you that doesn't fit anymore, that you've been choosing comfortable and safe over what you really want, and that's confronting as fuck in and of itself. So instead, you stay busy, you over function, you perform more. You tell yourself, Oh, I'll ever think about it. When things calm down, it's not the right time. But the problem is, if you don't consciously create this vision, this becoming this identity direction, you're just defaulting to your old identity and the old you, and that identity was built for survival, not for expansion, not for growth, and having like zero vision basically means you end up tolerating what drains you and keep repeating the same year with different fucking dates on the end, you know, keep making decisions based on fear, not what feels right. And then you just wake up some days going, how the fucking hell have I got here? And for me, vision isn't about putting pressure on yourself, not at all that. It's for me, it's about direction, and that direction is what pulls you out of survival mode.

Sarah Elizabeth  08:56

But when you're in that messy middle that feels really damn hard, right? Because it feels like we're fucking up with feels like we're not done things properly. But the messy middle is not failure. It's not confusion. It's just the space where the old you, the old identity, has fallen away, and the new one is forming. But this is the vision. Think of it like this, right? You've shed a skin, but the new one hasn't hardened yet. You know, think of caterpillar in the chrysalis. That bit is fucking painful as fuck. I mean, not that any butterfly has ever actually confirmed that. But it's got to be, right, you know, you're basically disintegrating your entire bloody self. So for us humans in the same place as that, in that chrysalis and that cocoon, in that expansion point in that become. Point everything feels Whoa, and uncertain and uncomfortable, freaking awkward, you know, and that that looks like that you might feel way more tired than usual, or way more emotional like you don't want what you used to want. No, thank you. You know you're less tolerant at the bullshit, and you crave the space and the peace. Oh, my God, the peace. And we think that because we're not where we want to be on this fucking vision board of life in Pinterest boards, we think we're falling apart. That's not you falling apart. It's you outgrowing your old self, literal growing pains and vision in this part, in this messy middle, doesn't often look like certainty. It doesn't because we It feels so unstable, but it can look like curiosity, right? It can start with the permission to say, I don't know yet, but I'm willing to listen and watch and learn and try give it a go. For me, vision isn't about doing and the ultimate destination. It's about being. And this, I don't know. I just think this is where most people get it wrong, like trying to build vision from action, like, What job do I have to do? What career do I have to do? What house do I buy? What body do I want? What relationship do I want? But vision built from behaviour only. And don't get me wrong, we do need some action. Don't get me wrong at all on that. But vision built from behaviour only, it just falls apart the minute life gets stressful or you're tested in any way, shape or form, because it's just a behaviour that you can drop, whereas identity led vision with some action. But identity led vision starts somewhere else, completely, like it, it's saying to you, like, how do you want to feel in your life, how do you want to experience yourself? How do you want to move through your days? It's the how, not the what, the being, not the doing, because behaviour follows identity, not the other way around. If you don't shift who you're being, you're just going to recreate the same old life, the same old shit, just maybe with some new shiny packaging or something. And that is why my work always starts with identity. Let me try and paint it properly for you. Let me try and set a scene right. Think it's early. The house is quiet, the kettle's boiled, but you've forgotten it again. You're standing in the kitchen staring at absolutely nothing. You phoned in your hands. You've opened it three times to put it down again because you don't know what you're looking for, and you just feel this weird mix of grief yet gratitude, and it's like a weird like, your life looks fine, but it doesn't even feel like yours anymore. Like, how did you get here? And and that thought keeps looping in your head, is this really it? You know, and that moment that's the messy middle for me, where vision and becoming really comes into its own. So how do we create vision becoming when we feel lost this identity, direction? Well, we're not really starting with goals, we're not really starting with the outcomes. We're just we're starting with actually facing ourselves. So step one needs to be that awareness and naming what you're done with because it's almost like vision gets a bit clearer when the contrast is clear. Do you know what I mean? Like, we find it difficult to know what we want, and so most people spend their entire lives focusing on what they don't want, right? And that's where they get stuck. I'm not saying get stuck in what you don't want, but if you think about it from a starting point of what you're no longer available for, what you're done tolerating, what drains you that you keep justifying, then you can work out the opposite. That the contrast, right? So shit like being the strong one all the time over, explaining yourself, making decisions from guilt, shrinking to keep the fucking pace, living in constant emotional labour. Whatever it is, just become aware of it. Name it. Write it down. Don't soften it down. This ain't for the gramme. This is for you love because this is where you stop dragging that shit into the future with you. It stops coming on that journey with you, right? Fucking hate the word journey, but you know what I mean? It's the best one to describe it. Okay? So once you've worked out what it is you don't want, then you need to, then think about how you want to feel, right? And it's not what you want to have, it's what you want to feel. This is huge, huge, huge. Like ask yourself, How do you want your nervous system to feel on a day to day basis? How do you want to feel in your body? How do you want to feel about yourself? And you know words that you might think about that might come to mind, like calm, clear, energised, free, that's one of mine, free, proud, steady, confident, whatever it is, if your current life doesn't support those kind of feelings that You really want, then you know that's okay, because it's not judgement, it's information, it's data. And that vision, getting hold of that vision as an emotional feeling, been long before it's practical, is really key to understand in where it is you want to be. So we've worked out what we don't want, how we want to feel. So then we've got to meet our future self properly, because this is the real becoming forget the shiny fantasy version. Like I want you to imagine a version of you who I don't know, who sleeps well, who says no without fucking panicking, who trusts herself, who doesn't overthink every goddamn decision in her life. Feels safe by herself on her own, in her own life, you know, ask her, ask that future version of you. What do you no longer tolerate? What do you prioritise now? What do you wish I'd stopped doing? That's always a good one. What do you wish I'd stopped doing what matters more than anything? And this isn't about manifestation, woo, woo, or all of that. This is just aligning with your identity, because that future you, she ain't a stranger. She's you, just without your survival mode activated, right? So let's cut away the crap and find her. You know how you want to feel. You've got her right. And then we have to borrow her, okay, borrow her identity before the confidence comes. It that comes later. Confidence comes much later. The courage to step into her comes first before the confidence. So we sit around and we wait to feel ready and all of that crap like we're never going to feel ready. It's not what our brains and our nervous system is set up to do their job is to keep us safe,

Sarah Elizabeth  19:00

and safe means not taking any risks, right? So we are never, ever going to feel ready. So instead of waiting to feel ready, ask yourself, what would the woman I'm becoming? What would she choose here? What would she say no to, what would she protect? What would she stop apologising for, and then start to live your life doing small things from that identity, borrow it. That's how the vision becomes embodied. That's the becoming, be it to see it. You know, this is how I actually work with women. For my work, Vision sits very clearly inside identity alchemy, but it is supported by the rest of the Edit Code, and that's where I say it's not just about thinking it right. My edit code is. Is E for energy rehab, so you can't see clearly when you're exhausted, for example, you know you when you've got a shit environment around you. Vision needs a regulated nervous system, so like energy rehab, D is do the damn thing, because vision without action is just a fucking fantasy. Small, aligned moves build that belief. Yes, we have to do something. It starts with who you are, and that's why we have then essential that I which is identity, Alchemy. That's where the vision knocks in. That's where you become the woman who can hold the life you want. And then we've got that underpinned by T the thought detox, which is clear in the old stories and the old shit that tell you it's, it's too late or it's not safe, it's too risky or not good enough, all that bollocks, you know. So that's, that's the Edit codes, but it's, it's like vision is almost like the central in all of that process. It's like, it's not a one off exercise. It's like a lifelong relationship you build with yourself. And I think that's where we're so often missing, aren't we, that relationship with ourselves? We're always looking on, focusing on our relationships with others, but we don't have a relationship with ourselves. And you know, often, when there are, I don't know, blocks to our vision, we end up beating ourselves up. We see it as a bloody failure somewhere, which is bullshit. But you know, we do, like if you're thinking, what if I get it wrong? What if I want something, get something and lose it again? What if I don't trust myself anymore? That's not intuition. That's not like thinking, oh my god, I'm trying to protect myself. That's just old hurt and old thoughts. That's why we have the thought detox. Old thoughts trying to keep you safe. Vision will trigger fear, it will feel uncomfortable, because vision threatens the familiar, and our brains and our bodies want the familiar. You're not broken for feeling that you're just human. And the goal is not being fearless, fearlessness, it's self leadership when vision is clear, even loosely clear, everything shifts. And I mean everything, decisions get easier, boundaries get firmer. Energy will stabilise. Your guilt disappears. You stop chasing, start choosing. Vision doesn't make life perfect, not by any means, but it makes it intentional. It gives you momentum in the right direction, and that's the difference between surviving living. So if this is the start of 2026 for you, and you feel uncertain and you don't have any or neat and tidy answers yet, and you haven't filled in your planner. Good. It means you're honest, and honesty is the gateway to reinvention. You're not late, you're not failing, you're not behind, you're just in the middle of becoming and that's not something you force. Vision isn't something you force it's something you allow to emerge and grow and evolve. That is the reinvention era. This is where it begins. And so if this episode has landed with you a bit and you want some more support with stabilising your energy or rebuilding your identity or creating the next chapter that actually fits you. Come and work with me. We'll start with the energy rehab. We'll start with identity. We'll start with the woman you're becoming, and that changes everything, everything you need in the show notes you need to know, or just drop me an email, drop me a DM, whatever. It works, right? Just remember, you don't need the whole goddamn plan. You just need the next true step. It's direction. You don't need to have all of these new year's resolutions all nailed out and pinned out with a with a five year plan. You don't need to have that. You just need to know where you're going and take the next step. We do need action. I'm not all I'm never going to say we don't need action. I'm never, ever going to say that, right? That's why the D in Edit Code is do the damn thing. We have to take the next step. But we often don't take that because we're scared, and that's what I'm saying. It's about self leadership. It's not about standing there waiting for something to happen. You know, Erica Kramer talks about this in the confidence feels like shitbook that we did last year in the book club. It was one of the last books we did in. The Book Club, like she would say about imagine that everything you want to feel, everything you want to be, is on the other side of a field, only. It's fucking dark. It's pitch black. You can't even see your feet, let alone what's in front of you, and you don't know where to go, you don't know how to get to the other side, because you can't see anything, right? Yes, there might be potholes, there may be falling trees, there might be roadblocks, there might be challenges, but equally, there might not it might be a clear path to the other side of the field, and once you start to get a bit further across, the dark, starts to ease a little bit, and there might be a couple of options opening up, and, you know, then a couple more, and then a couple more. It's still not entirely clear. You still can't quite see the other side, but you know, you ain't going back to the start. Thank you very much, because it's given you that momentum, that direction towards a vision for future. You towards that becoming but you can only get that if you start so you don't need to have, you know, all the resolutions like running a marathon, making a million, and finding true love and writing a book and having $4 is a balls, and moving house. You know, all the things, all by March. You don't need to have it all. You just need direction and momentum for who you want to be. And why does that matter? Right? You know, do you know what I think? For me, I can't. I kind of feel like your future self is going to happen anyway. It's inevitable, right? Your future is going to happen. So why not create a future you actually fucking want? So many women that I speak to tell me that they really struggle to visualise what their future looks like, and maybe you're the same. Maybe you do struggle to imagine what your life will be like in a year and five years and 10 years. And I get it because we do also have this tendency to focus on, well, I've talked about it before in the podcast. It's called The End of Life illusion. It's that feeling that everything we have currently now is going to stay pretty much the same, even though it's completely different to how it used to be when we also thought it would stay the same, you know, like, like the iPhone, for example. Like, when I was a kid, my concept of a phone was one on the wall in the hallway with a nice curly wire. I was obsessed with winding around my fingers while I laid on the floor. You know, if you know, you know, you know, that was, that was my concept of a phone. When I was a kid, there was no Wi Fi, there was no mobile phone, no fucking iPhone. I couldn't ever have imagined at that stage, wandering around with a computer with all this serious intelligence that's inside something that's not much bigger than a matchbox. I couldn't even imagined it, but that was happening anyway, right? And, you know, mobile phones became commonplace, didn't they? And plain snake. I loved a bit of snake. One point I was low key, obsessed with that Motorola pink flip phone thing. Never wanted a different phone. I bloody loved it. I couldn't possibly at any stage in any of these eras, have imagined an iPhone, and yet now we want like what we're on iPhone 17 we're on, we're going down the same road as now. That's What I Call Music. You know, we can't even begin to imagine what an iPhone 53 will look like. Will it exist? What will a future phone be capable of

Sarah Elizabeth  28:44

before I go into an existential crisis about the future the iPhone. My point is we don't have to have it all figured out to the nth degree. But you are going to be living 2031 year. You're going to be living the 2036 year, maybe even the 2066 year. So if it's too hard to think about the what, just bring it back to visualising the how, the being, no matter what. I suppose. My ultimate point is, if you can't possibly imagine the what of your life in 510, 20 years, that's fine, just why not create the opportunity to at least start, to be just start, you know? So I hope that's helped a little bit in figuring out the direction for 2026, and taking the pressure off all of these fucking New Year's resolutions. Just remember, we're we're a year one year. Yeah, we are starting afresh. Let's make the most of it. You don't need the whole map. You just need to stop pretending you're not always on the road. Love. So that's all for me. Don't forget to reach out. If you do want to go deep on this, I'm always happy to go deeper on this. I love this stuff. Always happy to go deeper on it. So do reach out and in the meantime, thank you for listening. Happy New Year, but not new you happy uncovering the hidden. You. I will be back in your beauts badass earbuds again next Friday for more on our reinvention my queen so I will see you then. Loads of love. Bye.