EP129 Main Character Energy for Women Who Are Over Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day isn’t actually the problem.

Friday the 13th isn’t actually unlucky.

And self-love isn’t meant to be outsourced either (whilst I’m on Sare’s Soapbox 🤣)

This week’s episode is for the high-achieving woman who’s done everything “right”.... but somehow still feels like she’s been living in the background of her own goddamn life.

If Valentine’s Day makes you roll your eyes…

If you’re sick to death of measuring your worth by whether you’re chosen…

If you know you’re powerful AF but still hesitate to fully step into it…

This conversation will hit.

In this episode, we’re talking about self-love with teeth; the kind that comes from identity, self-trust, and clean decisions… NOT affirmations, bubble baths, or waiting for poxy permission.

You’ll hear:

• Why Friday the 13th was never unlucky (and what it symbolises about feminine power)
• How Valentine’s Day subtly trains women to outsource their worth
• What main character energy actually is (and what it definitely isn’t)
• Why self-love is a decision, not a feeling
• How sisterhood and safe mirrors regulate your nervous system and remind you who the hell you are
• The EDIT Code (Energy Rehab, Do the Damn Thing, Identity Alchemy, Thought Detox) as self-love in action
• Why a fuck yes mindset isn’t reckless… it’s self-respect
  
  

This isn’t about becoming someone new. It’s about stopping the abandonment of the amazing woman you already are.

If you’re ready to stop waiting to be chosen…

To trust yourself more than the noise…

And to live like the main character in your own life…

Press play 👑

🔥 DOWNLOAD FREEBIES TO FUEL YOUR REINVENTION

📲 FOLLOW on Instagram and Facebook

🩷

Transcript

Hola queen. Welcome to the reinvention era podcast, where we activate our inner queen, where we install icon identity  yes we do, and where we just generally get our fucking crowns straight again. Because, well, why the fuck not? I'm Sarah Elizabeth, Queen of reinvention and identity strategist, and here to help polish that crown love. Polish out, get those gems looking lovely. So let's set the scene right. It's February. That weird in between months, like we said last week, the audacity of it all. Christmas is a blur. January was a fucking personal attack that lasted about five years, and suddenly here we are in February, and the world is literally shouting about love again. Oh, red roses and love themed set menus. I don't know how that's magic, but anyway, everything's heart shaped, which it always is in my world. Anyway, there's just this very specific narrative about love and what love air quotes should should look like. And I don't know, it may just be me. I may just be a bit cynical and all of that. But when did love become something that happens to us rather than something that we generate from us and have like inherently within us, because you know you're listening to this, right? So I know that you're competent, you're capable, and you've handled shit that would have fucked other people well and truly up, folded them in half, and then some and yet, and yet, there's this niggly thought, usually at night when the house is quiet, when your phone's face down, on silent, and the noise finally fucking stops and something in you, sort of thinks this niggly thought, Oh, now I've built this whole life, but I don't quite feel like the main character in it. You know, you feel me. You get that. You're kind of just a bit not centre stage in your own goddamn life, right? So oday's episode is not, absolutely not about romantic love. Romantic it's about self love with freaking teeth, mate, the kind that doesn't come from affirmation said 100 times into a mirror, but from who you are, from your identity, from embodying that freaking Queen identity from finally choosing yourself without needing fucking permission.

03:33

This is your galentines episode. And no galentines day is not just for single women. It's actually a day to celebrate platonic friendships and love, and it's for all women, whether they're single, dating, married, gay, straight, or anything in between. It's about the focus on female bonds rather than romance, and that includes, for me, your relationship with yourself, girl, your Friday 13th reclamation, if you will, your Fuck yes activation. By the end of this episode, I want you feeling lighter and taller and very clear on one thing this next era. It's fucking yours it's fucking yours own. It Queen main character energy. So let's start with this. Friday 13. Shall we? Because you know the episodes coming out, Friday 13th. Friday 13th. It's Galentine's Day, yada yada yada. I think poor old Friday the 13th has had a bit of a shit branding issue, a marketing problem, bad luck, fear, horror movies, people. People avoiding travel and weddings and big decisions, which is, I think it's somewhat ironic, right? Because historically, actually, Friday 13th was freaking sacred, especially for women. Friday was named after the goddess Freya, the goddess of love and fertility and feminine power. And the number 13, it's the number of lunar cycles in a year, 13 moons and 13 fucking menstrual cycles. It symbolises the feminine goddamn rhythm, creation, intuition, life force, all of that. But when the poxy patriarchy realised that women were powerful, when they trusted themselves, when they gathered, when they weren't afraid, when they had collective main character energy, Holy fuck. But of course, they did what they always do, the patriarchy. They demonised it. They reframed feminine power as dangerous, unlucky, which is dangerous, chaotic, something to be controlled. Sound familiar anyone? Because a lot of the women I work with aren't actually scared of failing that. They're scared of their own goddamn power. They're scared of their own power, of wanting more, of being more, of stepping into a version of themselves that doesn't fit quite so neatly into the boxes that they've spent years being praised for staying inside. We're told that, oh, you fit in that good girl box, and we and we get, you know, you're good girl for staying in the lines, even if them lines don't actually exist. The box doesn't exist. But we're praised for it, so we stay small, we stay in there, and then we end up fearing our own goddamn power. But Friday the 13th was never unlucky. It was threatening, which actually, when you come to think about it. It's a bit like a woman who finally decides that I'm done living on a bloody autopilot that threatens the people around them who it suits. So let's cut this Friday 13th crap right from the off queen, and let's go from Valentine's Day to Valentine's Day,

07:44

and you know what? We've been sold a lie, a fucking lie, because Valentine's Day is basically a master class in giving our power away, in outsourcing our freaking worth. Oh, someone buys me flowers, I'm lovable. Or if someone chooses me, I'm validated. If someone wants me, I matter. And look, don't get me wrong, romantic love can be beautiful. I think, from what I can remember, before I became cynical, became a cynical bitch. I'm not anti men. Seriously, romantic love can be gorgeous, right? But the thing for me is when it becomes the proof of our worth, when, when it becomes all that defines you and I spent years in that space. But what the fuck when you're only defined by a romantic relationship that you're in. Like, what's that about? Because for me, that's when you stop abandoning yourself. I see women I work with, women who wildly, wildly fucking accomplished. They're emotionally intelligent, they're financially capable, amazing as fuck humans, and they're still silently measuring themselves by whether or not they're fucking chosen. They're still editing their needs. They're still over giving, over functioning, over pleasing. They're still shrinking their truth. Still letting their partner be the main fucking character. And the thing that's wild, it's wild about all of that is they call it love, love only, I don't know it might just be me, but I think that real love, true love, doesn't ask you to disappear. It doesn't ask you to change. It doesn't ask you to shrink and abandon yourself not love yourself. 

10:39

And while we're on Sarah's soapbox, don't get me wrong, when I'm talking about loving yourself, that we're talking like self love, as in all bubble baths and candles all that shit. Yes, that is self care, but that's not self love. Self love is identity. It's what happens when you stop negotiating with versions of yourself that you outgrew, that you probably created to please someone else. Self Love is when you step into your main character energy. And that doesn't mean it has to be loud. I'm not talking about just being centre stage. I'm not talking about being loud and and like in your face and like main character energy, being the extrovert, the centre of attention, whatever other bullshit you might interpret from main character energy and that self love it's, it's internal. Self love is internal. It's, it's the calm certainty of a woman who trusts herself, it's when your nervous system isn't braced for impact anymore. You don't have to spend your entire life if fight or flight. Took me fucking years to realise that, years to realise that I've spent my whole life, as long as I can remember, in fight or flight, waiting for life to start. Self love is when you stop waiting for life to start. You live it. You live it. Now you know and I think you know it when you feel it because you you hold yourself differently, you walk differently, you speak differently, you choose differently. You know most importantly, you stop fucking abandoning yourself for comfort or for someone else, you know, main character energy, it comes from that alignment with who the fuck you are. So when I talk about main character energy, that's what I mean. I'm not talking about loud, being centre stage, going. It's about being the woman who leads her own fucking life instead of reacting to it.

13:29

And this is where, again, my edit code comes in. The Edit Code is my signature reinvention strategy. E is energy rehab. D is do the damn thing. I identity, Alchemy and T thought detox. You can apply it to anything. You can apply it to anything you want, literally anything, health, wealth, relationships, whatever. But actually doing edit on yourself is actually self love in action, because self love, without some kind of structure, is actually just vibes. And vibes don't actually hold you when shit gets real, when life gets real, when life lives. So let's talk about what self love and main character, energy looks like practically using the Edit Code, shall we so? E energy rehab. Now, your energy is your currency. It's your presence, your magnetism, the vibes you give off what you say without even speaking. Your emotions are energy in motion, e motions, energy in motion, who you hang out with, your environment, your sleep, your health, all of it is your energy and your energy. Is your premium freaking currency. And if you're not managing your energy like the diamond it is, then, respectfully, you ain't got jack shit. You have to notice your energy, manage your energy. Notice where your energy leaks. Where are you over explaining, over pleasing, over functioning, saying yes, when your entire body actually goes No. Where are you giving your energy and so your power away? You know, for me, self love starts with taking back that power and regulating yourself so that you feel safe in your own body again, feel safe in yourself. Feel safe being you. That's when you step back into the starving role. Trust yourself, know yourself, prioritise yourself, love yourself. 

16:19

So while we're on that, let's build on it. D do the damn thing. This is where self trust is really, really built, when you keep those tiny promises that you made to yourself, when you take an action that matches your future identity, who you'll say you want to be, when you be from that person, when you do from that person, from that version. I'm not talking motivation waiting to feel like I'm talking fucking movement, and I'm also not talking hustle and perfection and all that chisel. It's doing what you said you would to be who you said you'd be. Say that a bit louder for that was at the back. It's doing what you said you would do to be who you said you would be, beautiful. Which brings me on to I identity, Alchemy. This, oh, this is work. This is everything, being who you said you'd be, be it to see it. I missed this for so long. I was so caught up in the the hustle and the strategy and the doing, doing, doing, without being. So I want to ask you. Ask yourself, who are you becoming? Which version of you in there is making decisions now, and are they decisions for you, or are they decisions for other people? Are you truly the main character in your own life right now, because you don't become her after the confidence, you become her first. And if you don't truly believe that you can, well, that's where tea and thought detox comes in beautifully, because actually, not every thought deserves your airtime. It's a thought you can observe your thoughts, which means you are not your thoughts. It's just a passing thought that you choose or choose not to grab onto it doesn't mean it's true. Just because you have a thought doesn't mean it's true. It's just the meaning, the significance that you've attached to that thought. And self love means interrupting that inner narrative that keeps you small, and it means reprogramming your thoughts, because your brain believes what you rehearse.

19:32

So when we reprogram the thoughts, when we instal an up levelled identity, when we take the actions and when we protect our energy, that is when we learn to love, love, love, the queen that we already are. We were just searching outside of ourselves for it, but it's here. It's here all along. So self, love and love for all the women in our lives, including our goddamn self, that's where we started on galentines to sisterhood, to reclaim your freaking mirror. You know, it's so important. And look, Valentine's Day is not being anti men. It's about being pro women, and that includes you. There is something so grounding and powerful about women. Women, witnessing each other, seeing each other when you're around women who don't compete, who don't feel the need to compete, who don't minimise who don't who don't expect you to be anyone else than you already are, who acknowledges there's enough crowns for each and every one of us. And when you're in that, then you remember who the fuck you are, that self love is reinforced when you have safe mirrors. So you know, choose your mirrors wisely. Love just saying, because those mirrors don't just reflect who you are. They don't. They also and they activate who you're becoming. When you're seen properly, seen by women who aren't you're not the secret enemy. But when you're seen, even more importantly, by yourself. Your nervous system settles. You stop second guessing. You stop editing yourself mid sentence. You stop yourself worrying about what everyone else is thinking about, what's coming out of your mouth, something in your body goes, Ah, I'm safe in here. I'm safe.  psychologically, I'm safe, I'm okay. And from that place, you don't need permission, you don't need to look outside of yourself. You don't need convincing you don't need to adapt and change yourself. That's where main character energy stops being a vibe and starts becoming behaviour and identity.

23:18

Because when you're anchored in who the fuck you are when your thoughts are clean. Now, your energy is protected, your identity is upgraded, your decisions change. This shifts everything into something far more powerful,self love, self respect, self trust, self leadership. That's how self love actually becomes a decision, when your decisions change into something so damn powerful for you. So and this is the point where, kind of, everything we've talked about, I've realised today I've kind of gone off on Galentine's Day, Valentine's Day, external love, internal love, all of it. But this is where it all comes into one thing, actually.This is not about a feeling. It's not about a concept. It's about a decision. It's about the decision that we turn main character energy into action, a decision where self love stops just being a feeling and starts being how you decide, which also brings us on to that whole Fuck yes mindset, fuck yes, because I think main character energy equals. Was deciding on a fuck yes mindset and a fuck yes mindset isn't reckless or selfish or all the other bullshit things that are thrown at you, not at all. It's when your body knows and leads before the fear and anxiety talks you out of it. It's when you stop forcing shit and start trusting yourself. If it's not a fuck yes, it's a no, that ain't loss. That's self respect. It's a decision to choose you. So there we are.

25:47

Here's where I'll leave you, not quite not manifesting, not waiting for the universe to send you a sign, though I do love a sign, but you know the signs in you, it's just clear it's there for you? Friday, 13th, Galentine's, Valentine's weekends, all of it stripped back to what it actually means. It's not a vibe, it's not mood, it's definitely not something you feel your way into. It's something you decide. It's when you stop outsourcing your worth, when you stop negotiating with your intuition, when you stop pretending you don't know what you do already know. Fuck yes, mindset doesn't need defending. It just shows up in your choices, in what you tolerate, in what you walk away from, in what you no longer explain. It's choosing you over approval, self respect over being liked, truth over comfort. And now it won't. It won't make everyone happy. It won't particularly the people. It suits for you to please them. It won't make them happy, but it'll make you solid as fuck, unshakable. And that's the kind of self love that actually, actually changes a life, not because you become someone new, but because you finally stopped abandoning the woman you already are. That's the work, that's the power. That's your next era. No crown speeches, just you, just choosing you properly. So this coming week, just choose yourself like it actually, actually fucking matters. Choose your mirrors wisely. That's main character energy, not because life just got easier, but because you stopped waiting to be fucking chosen in it, and if it's not a fuck yes, well, you already know the answer, I will be back in your beaut badass earbuds again next week. My love, same place, same crown. Strengthening energy. I should wear a crown for recording nation, same crown, less bullshit until then, queen, stay dangerous in the best possible way. Love ya. Bye.