Sarah Elizabeth 00:00
Hola and welcome, welcome. Welcome to the reinvention era podcast with me. Your host, Queen of reinvention, Sarah Elizabeth. Now this is the truth bomb podcast, where we go way beyond surface level development and get into the deeper nitty gritty of who you are underneath, everything that you've been taught to be. So over the last couple of weeks, we have talked about the inherited self, which is the identity that you absorbed without even choosing it. It was everything that you learned who to be, long before you had any agency over it whatsoever. Then we talked about the survival self, which is the identity that you adapted, essentially to cope and perform and build your life, the one that got you accepted absofreakinglutely, but also maybe led to a whole lot of proving perfectionist over functioning kind of energy. So today we go even deeper than both of them. Today we are talking about the sovereign self. Now this one's a little bit different, because the inherited self, you'll have probably recognised her quite quickly. You'll know your cultural and family behaviours and patterns and all of that that have shaped you right. The survival self, you probably recognise her, but no, probably she makes you feel ever so slightly uncomfortable. But the sovereign self, she's like, a lot quieter, a lot deeper, and in fact, for a lot of you, she's been buried for so fucking long you might not even realise she's even there. So exactly, if this sovereign self? Well, basically, she's you. Yep, the sovereign self. Is you, but at your core, before all the rest of it, before all the conditioning before the expectations before you learned who you needed to be to fit in or to succeed or to stay safe, all that stuff. If the inherited self is what you were told before you even fucking knew about it, and the survival self is how you then adapted to that, then the sovereign self is who you were before any of that shit even touched her, which I know can sound a little bit out there. People call it loads of different things, right? They it's like your inner self, your authentic self, your true self, your Higher Self, your core identity, lots of different ways to describe it, but call it whatever you like, love. The point is the same. There is a version of you underneath all of this, underneath all the masks, underneath all the shit. That isn't all you know how to be. It's not proving energy. It's not trying to be anything for anyone else you know.
Sarah Elizabeth 04:02
Some people think that we are put on this earth with what they call a soul contract, like, it's like you are here to achieve a mission, achieve A purpose. You are here for a specific purpose, right? A lot of people believe that, that you know you're here for a reason. There's a part that your soul needs to learn, and that's why you're on this earth to learn it, right? Other people don't believe that at all. The Disney film soul completely kind of simplified it and said, actually, the whole point is humans are here to live life with soul, right? So. There's a lot of different ways of looking at it. There's recently, I've been reading a lot about human design. I'm a manifesting generator, for anyone who's interested, a four six manifesting generator, if you will. That's all based on your time and date of birth, and it's a very kind of lot of ancient systems mixed together, including astrology, which a lot of people know about. Most people know their star sign as their sun sign, which mine is Leo. And you, so you kind of start to define yourself by that a little bit, because you kind of like Leo's are fiery and lionesses and all the rest of it. And, yeah, that is true a lot of ways. Human Design, actually, there's a lot in the human design that kind of goes, Oh, yeah, you know, but it's based on a very specific you there's millions of connotations of human design, bit like that, one in 400 trillion. Again, numerology, that's another one. Numerology the you know, if you add up all your dates, of birth and all the rest of it, and then pull it back down again, numerology gives you a type. There's a million different things. There's personality tests, there's that Myers, Briggs, there's the colours, insights, there's, there's tonnes of these things, right, to try and help people work through Who the fuck they are, because a lot of people don't know. A lot of people just don't know this sovereign self is, which is what I call it. A lot of people just don't really realise what is. Some people will go, I had dreams, but life lifed, other people are living out their dreams. Other people go, I've no idea what I'm interested in. I've got no idea what my purpose is. I've got no idea what my mission is. All of that, right? And I get it. I think it helps to think of it a bit like, a bit like an acorn, bear with me. You might have heard me say this before, but it's just worth, worth thinking about this. You know, I say a lot of things over and over, because the repetition is really, really important to help it sink in and understand and to be able to kind of move things forward, right? So think about an acorn. An acorn is coded, if you like. Its blueprint is to become an oak tree, isn't it? It's not going to become a cherry blossom tree. It's not going to become sunflower. It's not going to become a shrub. It's not going to become a willow tree. You know, it's an oak tree. An acorn equals oak tree. That coding is in it. It's like imprinted in it, like a barcode, right? It doesn't need to learn how to be an oak tree. It doesn't ask itself if it really wants to be an oak tree, do I really want to be an oak tree? I'm not sure. I'm not sure I might have been born an accom but I'm not sure that I want to be an oak tree. You know? You know, it doesn't go, oh, maybe my purpose was actually to be an apple tree. I don't know why I was born in an acorns body. It doesn't need confidence. It doesn't need a strategy. It doesn't need to prove itself. All it needs is one freaking thing, which is to be in the right environment. That's all it needs. It needs to be in the right environment to grow into the oak tree. Because if you took that same acorn and you stuck it in a dark corner of your kitchen, where there's no sunlight, there's no space, there's nowhere to bed its roots, there's nowhere to grow, there's no conditions to grow. There's no wind or rain or water or sun or anything, anything right? That acorn is not going to become what it was designed to be. No matter what you do to this fucking acorn. You stick it in your kitchen, it ain't gonna grow. No matter what the fuck you think you want it to do, or try manifesting it to do, or whatever. It ain't gonna grow. It's not going to become an oak tree sat in the corner of your kitchen in the wrong environment, okay, but this is where I think it gets kind of interesting, because even in. The dark corner of your kitchen. You might have a very lovely kitchen, but, you know, go with me for the sake of this, even though it's in that dark corner in your kitchen, it doesn't mean that the coding isn't there. It doesn't mean that the blueprint isn't there. It doesn't mean that it doesn't exist as an acorn. It doesn't mean it wasn't meant to be an oak tree. After all, it just means it hasn't had the conditions to express itself, to self actualize. Now apply that to you. What if there is a version of you that already knows who she is, that already can feel that blueprint? What if there's something in you that already fucking knows, even if it's so damn deep, but it might be that this part of you, that something in you knows what you want. It knows what lights you the fuck up. It knows what you're drawn to, what you're here to do, it. It's got that energy around going, yes, that feels like a bit of me. But instead of being planted in the right environment, she got planted in the equivalent of a dark corner kitchen. She got expectations, she got rules, she got pressure, other people's opinions, safety, survival, all of that, and then layered on top of that, she brought all these other identities to cope with it, all these other versions of herself to succeed, to prove to cope.
Sarah Elizabeth 12:10
So now you've got this fully functioning life that may look fucking great in theory on paper, and it's all been built from identities that technically worked for you, right? But underneath all that, there's something that just feels a bit like, This isn't me. This isn't quite a bit of me. Like for me, right? Ever since I can remember, I've wanted to be an author, right? I learned to read. I've said this before. I learned to read ridiculously early. I fell in love with books. I fell in love with a famous five with Enid Blyton. I used to read that famous five over and over and over again. I swear I thought was one of them. I loved the world of reading, of imagination, of escape, right? And I don't, I don't know where it came from. I don't know, but I felt this instinctive. Desire to create that for other people. And it was so early, I literally, I can't remember not wanting to be an author. Can't remember not wanting to be an author. It was so early. It was kind of like it was just this feeling that that's what I had to do. It wasn't taught to me. It wasn't a strategic decision, you know, free. It was just something in me. But then life happened, didn't it? You know, my inherited self kicked in. And, you know, the the expectations, like, particularly for my dad, I've told us that was about it before. Like, you know, got to be academic. Sarah, you've got to get a proper job. Whatever the fuck a proper job is. You've got to be sensible, you know. And you know, you go to school, you get your qualifications, you go to uni, you get a job, you work your way up, and then you basically retire, go on a cruise and die, the bog standard way of, you know, the industrial times. That's how, that's how people worked, right? And that was my inherited self, that they were the patterns and behaviours and the beliefs that I thought that I had to follow, and then my survival self got loaded on fucking top of that with the teenage mum situation that led to me proving. Myself, I've got to prove I'm not just like any other teenage mum, and so I protected myself by becoming an overachiever, a high performer. I'm still that clever kid, and somewhere along the way, the story kind of became, I'm not the type of person who becomes an author. I'm not that desire to create that escape for people. That's not That's not what I do now. I'm not cut out to be an author. I'm not creative enough to be an author. You know, you need creativity and imagination to be an author. That's for other people. It's not for me. And you know what? None of that was actually true. None of it was true. It was just, well, let's say it wasn't supported. It wasn't not supported. You know, I'm sure if I'd have become an author, my dad would have been fine, but it just, it wasn't. I wasn't given the right conditions and environment to bloom. I was put essentially, in the dark corner of the kitchen. I mean metaphorically, not literally. Obviously. You know, that's not why I became a social worker that me, mum and dad in the dark corner of the kitchen.
Sarah Elizabeth 16:23
You know, the thing I want you to really get from this is your sovereign self doesn't disappear either. She won't go anywhere. She's not like a return to sender if you haven't used her within a certain time period, right? You get to 30 and you haven't fulfilled your inner desires. Therefore they've gone. She disappeared. She's gone, gone forever, never to be done. She just gets buried, buried under what you were taught, how you then adapted to that and who you became to be, to fit in, to belong, to survive, all the shizzle. And then before you know it, one day, you wake up and you go, why the fuck do I feel so disconnected from my own goddamn life? And that's because you're not living from her, your sovereign self. And actually, I think this is something that isn't often spoken about. I think this is why, actually, success, success, air quotes can feel fucking empty. It can feel so weird because you've built a life that looks absolutely incredible. It looks like all the external markers of so called success. You know what society defines as success, or what your inherited self has defined as success, but if it's not actually aligned with that deeper part of you, with that sovereign you, it ain't ever going to truly, deeply feel like yours, like your life. And look, this isn't about burning your whole entire life down. It's it's more about taking the time to almost just question, to recognise, where did I actually build this life on? Was it from choice, or was it just conditioning? Sit with her.
Sarah Elizabeth 18:55
And like I said, The Wild Thing is, if you were to plant an acorn and say, I don't know, a sunflower seed in the exact same conditions. They don't negotiate, they don't go maybe I'll try being something else. What if I stay small? What if people judge me? What if I'm not good enough? What if I'm not good enough to grow? What if I don't grow? Don't grow? What if I don't grow big enough? They just follow their goddamn coding humans, though, we just bloody override ours, don't we? And we do that because, exactly because we have these identities layered on top of it. And you know what? Your sovereign self, she's not loud, she's not forceful, so it's not like she shouts over your survival self, going all right, stop stealing the show. I'm the. queen here. Thanks, none of that. She's so much more subtle than that. Instead, she will show up as that niggly little pull. It's just that something in your gut feel, you can just feel it's just there, but it's niggly, like this, very subtle curiosity, like an even knowing, like a feeling of, like the feeling that I said when I wanted to create that for other people, like a feeling of, somehow this matters to me. I'm not even really sure why, but somehow this matters to me, and it's in those things that you keep coming back to again and again and again and again, even when you talked yourself out of it and fucking times. Because quite honestly, that thing that you keep thinking about, that idea, that version of your life, that version of you, that ain't random. It's not random. It's not some freak coincidence. It's it's information. It's data is telling you that your sovereign Self is Trying to get your attention. Love, it's good. Hello, I'm here. I'm still there, waiting. Ah, waiting, and what I see time and time again is where most people get this wrong because they think reinvention is about fixing themselves like they're fucking broken and becoming better. It's not, it's not really. It's about remembering who the fuck you were before you became who you had to be. Oh, Say that one again, remembering who you were before you became who you had to be. And then consciously and intentionally deciding, is she leading this or not?
Sarah Elizabeth 22:14
So this week just have a bit of a good think about what are you drawn to. What are you keep being drawn to, not what makes sense, not what's logical, or any of that, just what feels like this is a bit of me. What have you dismissed in the past? Like told yourself on this isn't realistic. I'm not the type of person who does that. I can't do that because I'm too old or fat or stupid or some other lie that's supposedly protecting you. What if you parked it because life just got busy, life, lifed, oh, it's not the right time. I'll wait until. When I dadada then I'll do it, you know, think about those types of thoughts and where you keep coming back to because that's exactly where she is. Your inherited self shaped you, your survival self protected you, but your sovereign self, fuck me. She's the one who knows who you really, really are, and you don't need to become her quite yet, but you do need to stop freaking ignoring her, because next week, we're bringing it all together. So exciting. We are bringing it all together the inherited self, the survival self, the sovereign self, into the designed self, the alter queen, the version of you that you choose to be, on purpose. It's not about finding yourself. It's not about fixing self. You remember, then you decide, right?
Sarah Elizabeth 24:10
And if you're sitting there thinking, okay, okay, I can feel that, I can see it, what do I actually do with it? That is exactly why I created the edit your life, no bullshit reinvention journal, because this work isn't just about thinking. It's not. It helps as a starting point, the awareness, it's always a starting point, but it's about actually changing how the fuck you show up. And the journal takes you through this whole process properly so you can stop analysing your life and start actually redesigning it how you want it to be. It's built around the edit code, and it walks you through this step by step over 12 weeks, you'll find it on Amazon. Love I'll leave the links. In the show notes. So no, and for now, thank you for being here. Honestly, I know you've got a million things that you could be doing with your time, and, you know, a loads of other podcasts you could be listening to. So the fact that you're here, listening to this, doing this work, that fucking matters. It matters so much more than you realise, for your queen self, for your sovereign self, my friend. So thank you and well done. I will be back in your beaut badass earbuds again next week, and we're gonna all in on bringing this together. Super glad. So until then, I'm sending you so much love. Bye.
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