Ep. 73 The Tamara House with Linda and Flo

In this episode, we sit down with Flo Lavallie, a Herbalist, Iridologist, Healer, and longtime pillar in Saskatoon’s wellness community, to reflect on the incredible legacy of the Tamara House. Tamara House was created as a healing space for survivors of sexual abuse, offering holistic support through community, Reiki, and other healing modalities. Flo shares the heart behind creating a safe and compassionate environment for women to heal, and the profound impact this work had on so many lives over the years. Alongside Flo, Linda Sanderson also shares her personal healing journey, her experiences that shaped her path and her time at the Tamara House.

In this conversation we explore:
• Linda Sanderson’s story of growing up in Saskatchewan and her journey of healing her inner child
• Sweat lodges, women’s cycles, and First Nations healing practices
• Linda’s first experience with Reiki and how it helped her long-term migraines
• Linda’s work within non-profit organizations across Saskatchewan
• Flo Lavallie’s story of creating Tamara House in Saskatoon (first of its kind in Canada)
• What Tamara House was and the vision behind it
• How Reiki became one of the healing modalities offered at Tamara House
• The powerful response survivors had to holistic healing practices
• The work, dedication, and challenges involved in building a safe space for healing and community


Ep.58 - our first interview with Flo:

https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/ep-58-flo-lavallie-healing-with-iridology-reiki-herbal/id1686019351?i=1000726846699

Flo’s contact:  lava99@sasktel.net

We will share our June Reiki Circle date on Instagram, stay tuned!

Join us on Instagram: 

https://www.instagram.com/living.the.reiki.life/

For more information about us & our offerings:

Amanda:  https://www.instagram.com/reiki_with_manda/

Kristi:  https://www.instagram.com/thebirchsoul/

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:15

Hey, it's Christy and Amanda, two girls from Saskatchewan, Canada, living the reiki life while working the nine to five.

SPEAKER_03 0:26

Hey all, welcome back. You are here with uh Christy and Amanda and maybe my daughter Callie, if you can hear her. Sorry. We're still at that exclusively uh nursing stage, and we tried to give her a bottle and she's just not taking it. So she gets to join us on the pod just for a little while here. Um yeah, so today we have a really awesome episode. Uh we sat down with really two great women, Linda Sanderson and Flo Lavalley, and to talk about the Tamara House. And I just want to give a little bit of a disclaimer about the audio. We tried to record this, uh, we actually re-recorded this because some of the audio was just not working for whatever reason. And then even with the re-record, it still kind of is fuzzy in some places. So I really tried to clean it up. Bear with us. This is such a good uh topic and it really needs to be shared. And uh so just kind of they're just little fuzzy spots. So you'll definitely get the whole idea of the episode because it is very good.

SPEAKER_01 1:28

Yeah, yeah. I'm so excited to share this uh with the community because our podcast reaches in so many corners. And Flo is just such a um a well-known person like in Saskatoon and Saskatchewan for her healing work over the years. And I I think it's just so cool that we can honor her legacy and have this conversation and just share her wisdom. And we're just so grateful to have her back with us because this is the second time that um she's with us. And so I just want to talk about what the Tamar House is. That's the topic of this episode today. And it's a nonprofit healing and support space in Saskatoon. Well, it it was, it's it's no longer um running, but it was for survivors of sexual abuse, and it was focused, they focused on like holistic um community-based healing. And Reiki was actually a big part of the healing with the women, which is very fascinating because this was quite a while ago. Like, you know, Reiki, Reiki wasn't a thing, like, or well, it was a thing, but it wasn't as common as it is today. So yeah, it's just just such a great um, or sorry, I just feel so honored to share this space with Flo today and just be able to share her wisdom and Linda as well. It was so great to meet um Linda and have her story heard as well. And yeah.

SPEAKER_03 3:04

And this was the first of its kind in Canada. So it was like a really big deal, you guys. I couldn't believe it. And the really sad thing is that this um house you would think would have been around like maybe the 80s. No, it was only like the 2000s. So it's it's wild that only something like this is still and that doesn't seem far for me, but I guess it's 26 years ago. But right, like the 2000s just seemed like yesterday. Yeah, they do.

SPEAKER_02 3:32

You're getting close to 40.

SPEAKER_03 3:35

But um, yes, so enjoy this episode and uh we will link Flo's um episode that we recorded with her in our show notes so you can catch the first recording where we talked about iridology and her Reiki journey and her holistic health as well.

SPEAKER_01 3:51

Yeah, that was such a great episode, too. If you're curious about iridology, it just it blows my mind. It's super fascinating. So yeah, hope you guys enjoy.

SPEAKER_03 4:05

So I am back with uh Flo the Valley. We had her on the podcast previously, and if you haven't listened to that episode, we will link it down in our show notes so you can have a listen to that. And we are also joined with her friend Linda Sanderson. And Linda and Flo both grew up um in Canada and played a huge role in the making of the Tamara House, which we will get into what that is and how it was important here in Saskatoon. But we're just gonna talk a little bit about Linda and her background and what it was like growing up indigenous in Saskatchewan, if you don't mind sharing a little bit about that. I know it can be a kind of a sensitive topic for some, but it is really important to know our history and to have awareness around the whole topic. So welcome, Linda. Thanks for joining us.

SPEAKER_05 4:51

Thank you for having me. Um, I grew up on Pepeki's First Nations, that's where I'm originally from. Um I was I had tuberculosis when I was three months old, and I was put in the Ford Sand until I was I was in there for two years, and I came out and my parents gave me to my mom's sister. And so I grew up on a little black air reserve or till I was 13th. Uh my dad was a big farmer, so my whole life has pretty much been mostly white, because my my dad was First Nations, but he mostly um associated with the white farmers. So um, and then of course the residential school. At that time, my foster brothers went to residential school. My youngest brother and myself, we didn't go, we stayed on the reserve, and the Indian agents would try and come out and scoop us, and my dad would chase them off. Didn't feel the racism that much. Um because we got well, I don't know, I guess we got along really well with the with the white students in school. We did go to school when I first started on the reserve. It was a one-room schoolhouse. And then we went into town. And when I was 13, my foster mom died when I was 10. So when I was 13, I moved home to Regina to be with my real parents. And my real dad didn't allow us to have First Nations friends, so um, so we were I had First Nations friends, but we had to sneak around to be with them because of partly the fear of the residential school with them because they went. And um my siblings went. I was fortunate I didn't go, but a lot of the abuse that I suffered was at the hands of people that went to residential school. So I um only lived with them till I was 17, and then I ran away from home at 17, came up to Sanskrit, became a single mom at 18, and um been on my own ever since. My whole world has been in the white in in the white world, all of it. I didn't grow up with my language or the culture. So I did my first two years when I was 21 doing my uh social work. And because I was drinking and doing drugs, I didn't bother finishing. Um, so I packed up lock, stock, and barrel. I always worked since I was 17, and so I packed up everything, sold everything, and moved to Victoria to start my healing journey when I was uh eight and took like four suitcases and I was gone. And so I started my journey, my healing journey out there, and um came back and went and got my my th decade of of 30 was about healing. So for the first four years of inner child healing, and um had my second son when I was 25. Single mom went through the whole pregnancy alone, and uh didn't meet my husband until my my son was eight years old. So four years old, four eight he was oh yeah, he was eight. He was he was short. He was the size of a five year old. That's why I say that he was very small. So so then I you know, and then I went back and got my degree when I was forty and I did my practicum with Tamara's house when they were in the night owl atop of on top of night owl. So they were just in the um the meetings and the planning of Tamara's house at that at that particular time. And so and and then they when it came about, that's when I got hired on at Tamara's house the very first year.

SPEAKER_03 9:20

So just I want to back up quickly. When you went to BC to do to start your healing, right? What did that look like for you? What kind of healing were you taking on?

SPEAKER_05 9:30

I went into inner child healing. I worked with Marcus, I was a sexual use survivor, so I was not healing. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 9:43

Okay. And was it um like traditional kind of healing therapy? Was it spiritual? What kind of what is it really?

SPEAKER_05 9:51

For me, it's spiritual because I grew up spiritually. So um, no, on her part, no, not on the therapist part, but for me, thanks to my foster dad, he's the one that gave me that spirituality. Um, I do that with my culture, but I grew up off the land, and you learn spirituality by working the land. You really do, because you're at the mercy of God for everything. And that's what my dad gave me. So the whole thing, like when I was down when I went to BC, and I was I always dreamed of mountains, but never I didn't even come to the city till I was 13. So it was just all small town prairies, and I always dreamed of mountains. So when I went out and did my healing out there and I came back, and my very first elder was Laura Wasikase, and I was telling her about it. Of um, I did um a group of women, and I was the only First Nations. Well, no matter what I've done, it's always been I was the only First Nations person in these groups. And uh she uh we had I did art therapy, so we had to do draw our safe place, and my safe place was always in the mountains up on the hill where I could see everything around me, right? And so I was telling Laura that, and she was saying, Mother Earth the mountains are Mother Earth's breasts, and that made so much sense because I've never had a mother. That really made so much sense, and then the water is so powerful, yeah. That's where I sit at the ocean every day, and that's where I do my journaling up, and uh yeah, and just the power of that, and water water is so healing, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 11:46

But even using that act of visualizing yourself, not even ever physically being there, yeah, was enough for your brain to comfort you. Wow, yeah. That's really good for anyone else who would need something like that.

SPEAKER_05 11:58

And then I, you know, my I went and um I used to have a dream of being in a funnel. And I was only like the funnel was so massive that I was just just a speck on it. And I knew it was a bottomless pit, and I dreamt this my entire life. So I'd wake up in just with terror. And I dreamt of it until I was about 16 when I finally left home, right? And then I quit. And it was because of I came that close. I went to when I started working at Tamara's house and started learning about multiple personalities, that's how close I came to changing because I would always go someplace else in my mind, but I never allowed myself to fully engulf that. That's what that was for me. Wow, yeah. And then I went to a literacy conference through Tamara's House and I learned because I struggled through all my academic years, university, everything. I felt extremely stupid, not just mild, extreme. So everything was very, very difficult for me. And um so I struggled and I wound up getting my my degree, but I didn't know when I until I went to this literacy conference, after I got my degree, that the abuse has affected my learning. And I didn't know that how it was how that was connected. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 13:27

So the body and and the mind plays a role in shutting down, probably when that's happening and it just affects. Yeah, yeah. Yes, and especially when you're living in that state for as many years as you did. Yeah, that would all that would be the default first and almost untraining that part of your brain. So you ended up getting your degree then in social work. That's wonderful. Help others after revealing. Yeah. So how long were you out in BC for? Four years. And then you moved back to Saskatchewan.

SPEAKER_05 14:02

It's home. Yeah, it's home. I missed the the four seasons. I did, you know, it's like um I I I missed the first three weeks, I missed BC wanting to run back. And I went back ten years after the fact. I finally went back and I absolutely hated it. Really? I did. I you know, I was there for two weeks.

SPEAKER_03 14:27

One week was plenty, I wanted to come home. You know, and that's really interesting because they say it with people who've experienced like even addictions, they almost they need to be removed from the environment to help turn off the habits and get them out of the situation. So you coming back feeling pretty good about coming back, I find that really interesting that you didn't associate here with maybe the abuse that you could have.

SPEAKER_05 14:51

It was like coming back, it was like coming back to the scene of the crime for sure. Yeah, you know, the smell, the air, because you don't get the air that blows through your ears. Yeah. And so it was like coming back to the scene of the crime. That's how it literally felt for me. And it felt like I didn't do a whole lot of healing. Right. So it made me work all the harder. Oh wow. It really did because I knew I did not ever want that lifestyle.

SPEAKER_06 15:17

Right.

SPEAKER_05 15:17

I knew like to drink the drugs, that's where that's why I did what I did. Because that's what I was running. And I didn't want to run, I didn't want to have skeletons in my closet. Um, so yeah, so I worked even harder.

SPEAKER_03 15:33

Yeah. And that's exactly the main cause usually of most addictions. My spouse is actually going to be 11 years sober this this May. And uh we were talking, he's like, I wonder if I could have. He's like, I wouldn't. But because he's now dealt with a lot of the abuses that he dealt with, it wasn't sexual abuse, but different, you know, physical abuse. He's like, I wonder now, because I'm not running away from that, if I could handle it. But who wants to test that out to see?

SPEAKER_05 16:02

My son tried that with me. He says, Tom, you've been sober for a long time. He says, One won't hurt. He says, you know what? I don't even need it. Yeah. Anymore. You know, I like who I am. I can have fun without it. I don't have to mask it with anything.

SPEAKER_03 16:18

That's when you know you've succeeded. Yeah. I think Robin Williams talks about that too, actually. He says, if you need drugs and alcohol to enjoy life, you're doing something wrong. Like you're not enveloping the whole thing. Yes. And I I agree with that completely. Why test it? It's poison in your body. Like it's just so social sometimes. But so that's good. So you got your degree. And then you and Flo. So how did the Tamara House actually like start? Like what, and we'll we'll get into this too with Flo, too. But um how what was the first even how did it even become an idea?

SPEAKER_05 16:55

That was in the making, I think 10 years before I even came on the scene. Before I even knew about it. I just heard stories of them 10 years of the board getting together and praying and crying because there was no money. Right? And um some of the staff sometimes didn't get paid, but they stayed. Wow. Yeah. So did you come on as a social worker to help? I came on and did my my my practicum.

unknown 17:25

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 17:25

Yeah. Because, you know, it takes one to know one, right? So I knew about sexual abuse. And so, and they only had just a day program set. They didn't have women would come, and there was one big room at that time, right? And they just had their couches and a little makeshift kitchenette and you know, where women can sleep or they can socialize. And it was really small, but that's where I did my practicum.

SPEAKER_03 17:55

Wonderful. And you know, I think a lot of women or people who have had abuse appreciate it when someone can kind of understand. Obviously, we can't fully understand exactly what they've gone through because that's different than what you've gone through, but you can at least meet them somewhere where someone who's never had that, you know, comes in and wants to like listen and help people. It's like you can get the emotional part of what others can't give. Yeah, yeah.

unknown 18:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 18:23

So, you know, doing the First Nations part when we were in there and doing we did the full moon ceremonies, we've did um the smudging um sweats. We've we've taken them out to sweats with uh Irene Fraser. She owned her own.

SPEAKER_03 18:42

And tell us about the importance of what a sweat does to somebody. That's going back into your mother's home.

SPEAKER_05 18:49

Yeah. So it's you for me, every time I've ever went, I always take, I always carry my children with me in there, you know. Like I never went for myself. Uh when I've I always went to ceremony, I've never gone for me. I went to bring other people. I would, you know, bring tobacco offering or cloth offering and do prayers for the like for my kids.

SPEAKER_03 19:16

You would energetically think of them when they were okay, yeah. You wouldn't physically bring them.

SPEAKER_05 19:20

No, no.

SPEAKER_03 19:22

I I think a sweat would actually be really intense for kids because it's very hot.

SPEAKER_05 19:27

Yeah, it depends on some. Like some have it really hot, some don't. And the thing is, the one thing nice is that you're not forced to stay through all four rounds. You know, you can do as much as you can. Right. No, why? Uh they're at they're already in ceremony.

SPEAKER_03 19:46

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_05 19:47

Yeah, I always found that very interesting.

SPEAKER_03 19:49

Yeah, you're already in ceremony.

unknown 19:51

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 19:52

Because I know when women or people go and do ayahuasca, a different kind of plant ceremony, they're not allowed to be on their cycle either. Because they're already in ceremony.

SPEAKER_05 20:02

And they're most likely women are at their most powerful time in the creator. Right. You can take the men's energy from that. Oh, wow.

SPEAKER_03 20:12

Yeah, that's why.

SPEAKER_05 20:14

Right.

SPEAKER_03 20:15

And women used to sit in red tent and bleed into the earth. Like it was a way to really give back into the earth, right? We don't do that unfortunately anymore. I mean, but or maybe some do. I didn't grow up with that culture.

SPEAKER_05 20:29

But you're right, it is a very powerful time for us, you know, and it took me all those years of doing I grew up with it growing up.

SPEAKER_06 20:39

Looking at it is very helpful.

SPEAKER_03 20:42

Oh, yeah. Well, society does not help with that.

SPEAKER_05 20:45

Yes, and you know, coming close to the end of my time, it was like I missed out of the way First Nations people view it. Oh it's such a beautiful time. Yeah. I literally grieved when my time was done. Oh. Grieved it. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 21:06

Yeah, yeah. I I like getting a period too. I do. I think it's a beautiful thing. And it just feels like I'm energetically shedding, you know, not just having a bleed. Yeah. It's good to let that cycle go and fresh start every time. I know. I'm excited to celebrate that with my daughter because I think it's really important. Yes. Oh. Good. So then so you worked and did your practicum at the Tamara House helping women do counseling. And we'll we'll get into more of what the Tamara House is. I feel like we're not explaining it yet, but we'll we got flow in the rain. Yeah. So talking more, just because we are a Reiki podcast, talk more about um a little bit about like the energy healing and things like that that you would help with with your. I love how we have the um the Science of what you know, getting your social work practicum and degree mixed with like the indigenous spirituality and culture, and just because I'm sure a lot of the women that went to the Tamara House probably taught you some things about their culture. Right? Yeah. So what other kind of like let's talk a little bit about that and just what I've learned having my degree is it doesn't apply to people.

SPEAKER_05 22:32

It's just a piece of paper. Yeah. None of it applies because we're not books, we're humans. They miss the human part of it all. Of uh, so I just wound up getting a degree to just finish to close a chapter in my life. That was it. And I had level in Reiki. I jumbled across Reiki before I even entered Tamara's house. I think I went to um they had an uh what do they call them uh like an expo. Health expo? Yes, at uh Prairie Land. And I think it was Darlene McGrath. Darlene? She's a Reiki master. And she was there and I says, you know, I want to go try this Reiki. And I I suffered with migraines for um since I was 18 till in my 40s. And I had this migraine, and I went to her for Reiki, and all she did was put her hands around my head, and literally I could see this puff of smoke swirling in my head, going forward towards my eyes and back to the back of my head. It was swirling like that, and it came out the center of my forehead. It was like a puff of smoke that came out, and um I says it's gone. So that was my first experience with Reiki. And so I went when we were at Tamara's house, I wound up getting my first level in Reiki, and that was it just to work on my family. Uh I didn't have a desire to go full bloom into continua that. Um, so yeah, that was my experience with it. Yeah, that's a good experience.

SPEAKER_03 24:17

And I always say, like, if you're a mom, get your level one so you can work on your kids. Yeah, work on yourself. Yeah, yeah, it's it's so good. Yeah, and then did you ever work on uh women at the Tamar House with Reiki?

SPEAKER_05 24:30

No, because your first level was only yeah, right.

SPEAKER_03 24:37

Okay, yeah. Was there any other healing modalities? You said you did smudge, um, you did circles? Sharing circles.

SPEAKER_05 24:45

We did um I've tried the massage therapy as well. That was awesome, powerful. Yeah, yeah. And I can't remember the lead that she was a nurse at that time. I wrote a massage therapy. Yeah, yeah. She she couldn't possess the Reiki, but when I went for a session with her, her hands were just hot. And I wound up like it, you you could feel the physical, emotional, mental, spiritual component. Same with Reiki. When I went to a Reiki master, I I felt the all four working, and same with the um, same with the aroma massage with this particular woman. All four. And and I asked her, I says, How come your hands are so hot? And she says, you know, she says it was in the middle of the night, this bolted lightning shot through her. She woke up, just sat in bed, and she goes, Never since then my hands have been hot.

SPEAKER_03 25:47

Sounds like she had her own awakening and just surged her on. Yeah.

unknown 25:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 25:52

I love a good story like that. How did that start for you?

SPEAKER_05 25:59

Wow. She was they were both doing uh this research at Tamara's house at the time because they couldn't possess either one. They had to have just that, right?

SPEAKER_06 26:12

Wow.

SPEAKER_05 26:12

Yeah. I know the women at Tamara's house. Um Eucina changed, there was a calm, a peace about them. Some were coming off their meds that I noticed. That's a big deal. It is huge because there's some they were just medicated to they were just zombies. Yeah. So that doesn't help the root of the problem. So yeah. So yeah, I've seen the results of that.

SPEAKER_03 26:40

That's wonderful. Yeah. Yeah, I think it's really important to have people like you who come and you know share their time and just get on a level with other people that is relatable.

SPEAKER_05 26:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 26:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 26:53

And that's what I do today. I um have done frontline work with pretty much all the nonprofits in town. And I retired last December out of uh the Y.

unknown 27:03

Oh.

SPEAKER_05 27:06

And I'm still with the Y, I'm one of their elders, and I work mostly now in their new department with the apartment building that they opened. So I do a lot of uh I'm gonna start doing doing one-on-ones with the women and um and we do ceremony there as well. Well, that's good.

SPEAKER_03 27:27

Yeah, so you're still working with women.

SPEAKER_06 27:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 27:32

Yeah, that's good. Well, you know, when you enjoy it, it doesn't really feel too much like work, does it? No, it doesn't, not at all. Yeah, and you're keeping community that way, which is one thing that I absolutely love about you and flow. You've always been such a huge part of community. It really inspired actually me and Christy when we met and sat down. She was saying, we need to do more with like community things, you know. Yeah. We're yeah, we've come so confined into our house and be separate.

SPEAKER_05 28:00

So it's it's really you know, and what I find is that uh I just opened myself to the why to um do one-on-one with the women because counseling is too expensive. Yeah, you're only allowed so many sessions and then no money, right? No single mom, assistance, there is no money for them to achieve counseling. So I just offered to come in and just do it.

SPEAKER_03 28:28

Is there one or a particular story that sticks with you that made an impact in your life with helping someone?

SPEAKER_05 28:37

Um there's a lot. There's a lot of them actually. One in particular, if you pay attention, if you listen to the Women of Distinction Awards, that's gonna be happening on Friday. Uh her name is Summer. She was at the Y. Um, she down and out, lost her kids. Yeah, yeah, her kids back. Like you you need to listen to her story this Friday. It's you know, the the women at the Y are amazing where they take women that have hardcore drug users, girls that you see that people just pass on the street and they just shower them with love. It's just uh yeah, that was one of the best organizations I've ever worked for, is the why. And so I'm so grateful to be a part of it today. You know? And so I just offered to come in and do one-on-ones with the girls. I don't want to be paid. I says, I want these women to be a success. They have a two years window here to come out and be to be better than they've ever been. And I and I want to help them along the way to do to be that, right? It's not about money. People isn't always about money, it irritates me.

SPEAKER_03 30:04

I wonder, you know, if she would have been able to do it without the support of community backing her. I know the Tamara House unfortunately isn't um a thing anymore in Saskatoon, but it's good that there's at least these other programs that are still running. Yeah, it's pretty close to Tamara's house. Pretty close. Yeah. Well, that's really good to hear. Well, thank you so much for telling your story and being vulnerable. And it's it's so inspiring for others too. And being in this work, you know, and there's a lot of Reiki practitioners, of course, that listen to this, but some that aren't, or some that are interested in it. And it's just like you have that desire for a reason and to reach out to help others and lean into it because it's so fulfilling, it really is. And I even say I feel more fulfilled when I give Reiki to someone else than when I do self-Rakey. It almost does something to my inner being more. I tell people, take level two, then you'll really feel good. I'm like, yeah, it's it's it's really good. So thank you so much, Linda.

SPEAKER_04 31:13

And then there's okay, so basic I got involved with Tamara's house. My daughter was sexually abused by her father, and uh it took me four years to get it to court. Um basically the court basically um gave her the strength to speak her voice. She was on the stand for four and a half hours, but uh became very, very strong because of it. And then she said to the judge, can I whisper it in your ear? And he said, No, you have to tell these people. And and that basically gave her the power to share her experience. Um, the only thing I saw at that time, which I'll speak about later, is a screen because she saw her perpetrator. And uh but as a result of all of that, then it went to King Queen's Bench Court in those days, it's King's no. But as a result of that, um she felt that um she needed an advocate because she had cerebral palsy. So she basically felt that um I was the the lawyer, so she said, Mom, why can't you advocate for me? And it it's that m miscommunication or or that communication that didn't occur that I couldn't speak her truth. It had to come from her, you know, so that was very disconcerting for her. But in any case, um then the woman that you saw see on that paper there basically invited me to come to Tamara's house to be a voice for the women uh that were sexually abused as children. And because of the mouthpiece that I am. And so basically, then I took the bull by the horns and decided that I had to uh I had to heal my anger towards the court system, and I had to heal my anger throughout the the for the anger of what had happened to my daughter, and also that she was helpless and couldn't, you know, couldn't advocate for herself. So as a result of that, then therefore I felt that you know we needed a facility. So I basically um I've been to the legislature six times, and finally they heard my I was invited to go to the budget hearing, and I got$300,000 from the budget. Um, and it was really interesting because the media was there, and the health minister came through, the finance minister rather came through the media, came to me, gave me a hug, and said, You got your money. And so we drove back to Saskatoon and had to tell, we couldn't tell the board right away, the rest of the board that we got the money. So, and it was for the uh psychodramatic body work, it was for Reiki, and it was for aroma massage therapy. So as a result of that, then therefore, um we basically got um enough money to do all that all that work. And so it was so 600 women went through the the process of healing, and they could choose whatever modality that they wished. And then um I basically uh went to a builder here in Saskatoon construction, and uh he basically gave me$89,000 to or$90,000 to negotiate a property. So here I am flying all over Saskatoon looking for a house and property, and so we went all over Saskatoon, and then one of the uh realtors came to me and said, we've got three 75-foot lots that you could negotiate. So it was a little house over on Victoria Avenue that had grass growing through the windows on the bottom from the the basement. I thought, well, this is gonna be nice. So anyway, um basically um we negotiated or I negotiated that one night and I sat double-legged on my on my bed and I phoned the realtor and I said, Okay, I'll offer you$87,000. So anyway, he went back to the people that owned it and they said, We'll take it. So then the fellow that did the construction was up in the air flying up somewhere, and I phoned him and I said, I got three 75-foot lots for$87,000. And he said, Do you want to come work for me? So, anyway, as a result of that, uh therefore it became my project, I guess. And so I was a board member for nine years, and it was it should have been an eight uh an eight-year position, but because I still had the landscaping to do after eight years, and I'd go there once a week to make sure that all of the services were there, and then in the meantime, um the gentleman passed away, so his funeral was here in Saskatoon, and all the collection from the funeral was given to Tomato's house to buy all of the appliances. So then I went to different places and got appliances, and so then it was in, then I was elected to do the grand opening, and here we are. So basically, um I took I took this newsletter with me everywhere I went when I applied, I asked for knives and forks, and I asked for dishes, and I asked for everything. And then even the the the um the curtains in the windows and from Hunter Douglas basically I went all over the place, you know, trying to negotiate all of this. And so with this one newsletter, so that was my lucky, my lucky charm. So anyway, as a result of that, then therefore, um then we had the grand opening, which um this house right here. And so there was 200 people that came to the grand opening, and then uh we talked about the harmony song. So once we started the pro the the process, then what happened was is there it was for um non-native women were invited to come, but there was nothing for First Nations women. So then I had to go on a on the hunt and and basically applied. Um I found an application for the Aboriginal Healing Foundation. So I got$872,000 from the Aboriginal Healing Foundation to do the Harmony Song project. And that's basically uh what Linda talked about is the naming of the of the project for First Nations women. So I went to braid flooring and I got when I picked up the flooring and I said I need a medicine wheel in the middle of the healing room. So we have a medicine, we had a healing uh circle in the middle of the of the of the room. So, and that's where a lot of the First Nations women would feel comfortable sitting in a circle, and that's where ceremonies were held and that type of thing. So then we and so we had to do a reassessment about every um every$10,000 that you spent, you had to uh report back to the Healing Foundation as to what you've accomplished and how you use that money. And then the second time we applied, I basically looked at having a Dene elder, a Metis elder, and a Cree elder. And so then we brought in, there was only beds, so then we had to circulate the women according to the needs of the referrals that we would get. And they were only for women that were survivors of childhood sexual abuse under 16. Yeah. And so the research that we did, then of course we wanted to do some research here, because we also want to find out how many women in Saskatchewan and Canada had been sexually abused, and it's one out of three. And one out of every five to seven men. So out of that research basically came all these results. And so one of the things I think was the colors that we wear. So we don't wear red and we don't wear black in the in the facility because, or even in my clinic as a practitioner's. So when I go to conferences, I always speak to young practitioners about wearing different colors. So, and the reason for that is because they're called colors and they get observed and St. Patrick's Day or St. All Saints' Day and Christmas and those type of things. So at Tamares House, we had a safe, you know, a safe place for them to come and celebrate, you know, amongst themselves and for safety. So that's one of the things. The other thing is the color of your room is is should be um very pale colors, uh, much like these colors. And so they're very soft colors. And so, and then the other thing is when a client comes in in a clinical placement, uh the the survivor walks in first, and then you walk in second. So because for safety, because they basically need to see the environment, and not that they're sort of driven into one place, like it's not like a herd of cattle or a herd of cats, you know? And and so it's for the for the comfort of that individual. So that came out of the research.

SPEAKER_06 42:22

And what was the colors?

SPEAKER_04 42:23

Why not red or black? They're cult colors. And they're used for different uh in different ritual, and they're uh they're basically celebrated um on Saints' Days or Christmas or Easter or whatever. And so they're given up. And we had one gal that uh worked at Tomato's house that was taken off the playground at six years old.

unknown 42:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 42:48

And then she would offer, she would be offered to the cults, and then she would come home at come home or come to a safe place at nighttime, so then therefore she would go back to the cult. Um come yeah, go back to the cult at nighttime and go to Tamara's house to for safety during the day. And then we also had, it was interesting when I drove to Tamara's house, I they put notes on my windshield and say, you know, we don't want you on our street. And so in that binder that you see there, um there's different art articles that I was in the newspaper regularly to basically um advocate for this housing because it was the first of its kind in Canada. And so, therefore, not in my neighborhood, not in my community, you know. So therefore, uh we had to have a tea party, and I wore my red power suit and basically um answered to a lot of angry people in the community. community. And but there were other people in the background that would basically say, you're welcome here, and one social worker at the back of the room said, we would like to invite you to stay here and we would I'd mow the lawn for you. You know. So they would offer their services. Excuse me. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03 44:28

At least there was some support. Yeah. And what did they think was going on in the house that they didn't like?

SPEAKER_04 44:33

They asked me about they when they phoned me, they they would they uh program their phone to phone me every hour on the hour. And one fellow said to me, what are you going to do with the horse and the prostitutes? And I said um what did Jesus turn Mary Magdalene away? And I remember Louise Half said to me, she said whatever made you think so quick and I said because I was raised in in a convent or or residential school and so therefore you know it it was on the tip of my tongue. But you know it's interesting when you have to be part of a community that basically doesn't accept you you have to justify it. We had to go to City Hall to get rezoned. And I mean it's quite a process. Yeah. And I was alone because the fact that you know I started something that I had to finish you know that's incredible.

SPEAKER_01 45:37

Just like your your strength to go after everything and just get the ball rolling I really admire that within you and just the difference that you would have made in those people's lives like and I love to think that when you're advocating for others it's people with no voice.

SPEAKER_04 45:54

Yeah. You know? And of course you know I mean when you look universally you know with the high statistics you know people have been quieted all these years for shame guilt fear you know and then a lot of people don't know how to deal with it when it occurs. You know? And and they see sexual abuse as just penetration but it's not just penetration. You know it has other connotations. And so therefore as a result of that then therefore it brings on a whole different genre you know in in in communities because now you have you know the first you have not only the First Nations community but everyone as a whole you know even the two spirited women you know the two spirited men you know what I'm saying? So therefore it's inclusive and you can't just separate them you know and and so that's why I think that this project was one of kind. Yeah. So the research also basically when we had a lot of women come to us they were wearing diapers and so they basically you know their reproductive system basically was affected. We had we were collecting uh bags plastic bags I remember going there with three big bags of just plastic bags so for diapers you know soil diapers we had a lot of women with eating disorders and and so when we provided food for them you know it it was it was difficult for them to sit at at a table to have a meal with everyone because it's not it's not familiar. And I can remember going up north to Missinippi and and um there was no there was no table and the bed mattresses were on the floor and there was a pot of porridge on the on the floor with a spoon in it. So people didn't even have you know and the children didn't even have um food and and so a table to sit at. So you know I think that it was a lot of the women when I worked at Westside Community Clinic I worked with a switch program another program I was been involved with and a lot of the women there didn't even have cutlery to eat with. So we would have um we would have a women's programming night and and so therefore we had 200 women attend and we had purses we collected purses for all these women and so we had personal items in in the purse and then we had you know we I said make sure you got a light bulb in there you know and let there be light you know but these are certain things that we never think about these are different than underwear you know I go to I go to Walmart and get packages of of and I drop them off at the shelters here. Because I go by the shelter when I see my daughter every Sunday and I drop off you know all these underwear and I remember hats when my husband passed away two years ago he had hats of every description so I took them all there laid them all out and before I left this shelter it was all they were all gone. So so we are basically living in in a in a culture where we've had been given so much and we don't share. So I think this is what's in it has to be inclusive. And then too we have people that are that come from other countries that never had in any immunizations they've never had any um you know I spoke at the Take Back the Night march here in Saskatoon with a police officer and they women stood up and talked about female castration it still goes on and and you know I mean these women I mean that's another form of abuse and the grandmothers were doing this you know I mean it's part of the culture. So so I think we need to really take a look at at the basics of of who we are what we're about and and not be shy to talk about these things. Oh what I did well Reiki went through when I got the funding from um from the uh budget I got$300,000 from the budget for Reiki and aroma massage and psychodramatic bodywork.

SPEAKER_03 51:18

Was that taken was it received well?

SPEAKER_04 51:24

Oh no there's a lot of women that touching is is an issue so we had one woman that wore um a necklace saying I don't touch and I don't shake hands and and so she now has a job by the way she works in a job and and she still wears her her necklace that says we don't shake hands you know but it and when you do a Reiki treatment that's another thing that I always suggest to to practice young practitioners is the fact that ask for permission to touch. Yeah 100% and and I think that we need to really bring that to the forefront for women. That's the best people yeah they don't even have to be a victim of special use but they just might not like it. And people need to respect see I have that on my intake form when my clients come to my clinic and then all my students that I've taught I give them that form that you know have you ever had an unwanted sexual experience that came out of the research. So it was really beneficial and and the other thing is to find out what their needs are I mean a lot of women um menopause was another thing childbirth is another thing they stop dilating at eight centimeters women that have been sexually abused and that's why you have babies with cone heads so oh yeah there's a lot to know about you know when I birthing you know and I get called at all kinds of times of the day and night and so it's really interesting to to to know what the side effects are because I mean these people end up getting married and having babies and but the thing is is during birthing oh it's a flashback. It's a trigger so at eight centimeters they usually stop dilating so that's where again I usually do the Reiki and that helps to relax. You know I had one woman that I was called and the nurse came to her and said you're not the first woman to have a baby so I got there and don't you know I had to feed her this awful jello and I had to feed her all this crap. Anyway she's just relaxed because she knew that I was there someone familiar not because it was me but it was because someone familiar was there and all of a sudden I checked her and she was red you could see the the the the head so then I went back to this nurse and I said to her I said she's ready to to to put up in stirrups and she said she can't be she said I was just there and I said I'm telling you that that sure enough and I we're putting the stirrups up and there was the bab I was back in my clinic in the four one o'clock. So so these kinds of things I think that we need to be aware we also have to think about the drug addict. They're people too and and so a lot of them basically come and they have you know we have to put them on IV right away because of the fact that they have blood sugar issues or they have withdrawal issues. So it's not that's where Reiki is really comforting as well for for the baby but you know I mean there's a so many reasons here and then we have a lot of addictions now. So that's where basically you know I feel more comfortable and let them know that I'm available when they go into the hospital. You know and now I mean it's just an outing now you're just in there and out there you know I mean it's just sliding doors. So that's not comforting to know that you have to go home alone. So there's a lot to think about here and uh you know in terms of of um the quality of care that you provide and then there's going over and above the Call of Duty and and I've done so much of that. I really have and and um it's not about I never charge for birthing and I never charge for dying. That's that's my community work. I just basically get invited to go you know someone's in the hospital and then I have a gentleman right now who's going to be moved right to that facility just down the road here in May because the his wife is going on a retreat. So I go there into to the house I make a house call and do some ear candling for him. And then I also in May I unbooked to just go down the street here and and visit him and and do some Reiki for him. And his eyes are sparkle you know because he can't speak anymore but he used to be the uh labor minister at one time here in Canada in Saskatchewan yeah and I've known him for a long time. But you know these are the over and above the duties that you can do but I don't charge for those services. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 56:55

When you're going in to work with um with someone to do Reiki are you doing like the traditional hand placements? Is that what you follow?

SPEAKER_04 57:04

Yeah yeah I've done one as long as seven hours. A woman was dying from Lalush and then the the family was in Calgary and they said can you get to the hospital till we get there and I said sure so I stood there and did Reiki on her consistently till the family got there. Seven hours and and same with birthday like one of the husbands said I've never seen anybody stand there so long except to go to the bathroom. Yeah so you're wow but I did Reiki that long yeah so so I think that you know it's having that hand you know know that comfort is there. Yeah and yeah those are over and above the quality but but I think that that's what this kind of work is. There's no like babies don't make appointments you know I know that much and and so I've had enough of them I ask my own and but you see the thing is too is is we like to give the services that we did receive. But you learn as you've been around you know I've been in healthcare 64 years.

SPEAKER_03 58:21

Wow that's incredible was there anything else you wanted to mention about the Tamara House?

SPEAKER_04 58:28

I phoned some of the older elders in in in the project and you know what they said to me they said you know a lot of projects have a lifespan and and so 20 years or more of this situation is is that we have to learn to to sort of uh celebrate what we've been given celebrate the relationships that we've we've had and um now when I was at Westside Community Clinic a lot of those women basically came there for Reiki or reflexology and I'll never forget this is really interesting this woman was was uh breastfeeding her two-year-old and he was trying breastfeeding and trying to talk to me at the same time and and she because he would just lift his mom's shirt up and and he was trying and she came to see me for Reiki and he was basically breastfeeding and talking to me at the same time an elk was running down here and it was so cute. But basically they felt comfortable in coming to Westside Community Clinic because they knew and I have one woman Irene Fraser she still comes to me in Saskatchewan here at my clinic here and she knows me from from uh tomorrow's house and she knows me from Westside Community Clinic. So I think we carry that persona with us and and so there's humor there's people that you basically connect with and it's a connection and and and they basically that sense of healing and you know they feel that more comfort in moving forward and getting normalcy in their life again. We have one woman that was in chemical sources now working for SGI so she basically did a lot of healing that way you know and she was sexually abused by a brother and she wrote a book about it actually. So that was part of her healing. So everyone everyone heals in their own way you know so in my second book that I wrote um there's people there that wrote their stories and their testimonials and that's part of their healing. So it's not my story it's their story. And and that's what you have to celebrate.

unknown 1:00:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:59

And so you're writing a book or you're pretty well done your book right? So good. Well thank you again Flo we'll wrap it up there and uh yes all the best to your new chapter coming in.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:10

You're welcome yeah it's in just in the middle of being it's it's about um the West Side Community Clinic it's about the street women and I had 16 women in my group and it's called the richness of poverty and those women basically um those women um are now wrote theirs theirs their stories but also um I taught some different classes about how they could heal and help themselves and explain to them what all the different modalities are. But also we would feed their children supper and and then they would uh you know they they it was a sent that one night a week that they could come and and have some normalcy and then um those are the the workshops that I'm publishing because I don't want them to sit on a shelf.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:10

You know we've got enough information sitting on shelves. So that's basically why I chose to write that third book because that information will help someone you know and also I think the thing is is if you don't that's my way of giving back and releasing some of the anger that I had about the justice system. But in the meantime I went back to the justice system uh and uh asked for a screen for the courthouse and so about five years ago I had a client of mine who was sexually she had uh mental health issues from Kindersley and I uh saw the screen work for the first time and I did Reiki treatments on her before she sat in the stands so I saw Reiki work and then also I saw my screen work for the first time. Well that's good I mean there's only gonna be more people in the future that need a screen that she didn't know that the perpetrator was behind the screen. And he had sexually abused her 99 times he was a massage therapist but also I think the thing here is the fact that you're not only um you're not only helping this young woman but her family felt that you know that there was a connection between all of us but also I think we're teaching the court system to behave differently and that's that's part of this whole learning thing you know is we have to look on on the brighter side of things what is done for the community not just for our own that I won you know I I did this you know what I mean that's not what this is about it's mostly about how we're teaching the court system how to how to behave differently there are people that have all these insecurities and you know jail isn't for everybody. I mean we're incarcerating people at the drop of a hat and we're if we could do some healing I spoke at Willowcree in Stone I spoke there as well but I mean it and the war actually the warden bought one of my cookbooks for each one of the houses at Willow Creek. So it's interesting how we can carry a message in different ways. We have these gifts that we don't share. I mean I would have never in God's green earth thought that I would be where I am today because I too have a um a past and you know I changed I I sort of that's part of my healing is now to outwardly help other people.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:13

And I'm just like that really inspires me to do more work in my community.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:18

Yeah you know like absolutely yeah all right so Amanda's gonna take us out with the card poll today so what's going on yes I'm using the Lightseers tarot deck and uh I got the King of Swords and the strength card. So for a lot of you a lot of you are sitting in kind of um or you actually need to be sitting in stillness right now and sitting with your thoughts. There's a lot of strength when we find the quiet and let our mind kind of quiet down and take out all that extra noise. I got the two of swords with it. So a lot of you could be dealing with a lot of uh mental fatigue I'm hearing the word mental fatigue Fatigue or being struggling to make a decision, or else you're torn between two things and you're not too sure which route to take. But the key for this is to sit with yourself and find that inner strength because you can make hard choices. And this almost feels like it's going to be a little bit difficult, or what if this is the wrong one? And it could even be something big. I'm even hearing someone who's even debating, like, should I quit my job? So, right, nobody else is going to be able to tell you if that's the way to do it. But I also got it with the page of swords in reverse. And then I got the ten of swords and the seven of swords. So a lot of swords energy, which is all about thinking and decisions and uh things like that. So don't ever make decisions when we're feeling emotional, uh, or if somebody else is influencing us. Remember, nobody else has stake in the game like you do. So it's so easy for someone like me or your friend to be like, oh yeah, you should be following your passion and take the leap and you're gonna do it. And I, you know, but unless they're the ones living in your shoes, really make sure that you are taking the time and and really thinking things through. It's it's a really big deal, especially if you're planning on making like really big shifts. Um, and and watch out for kind of maybe people who don't have your best interests it at heart. That seven of swords is kind of that sneaky energy or kind of that squawking in the ear and maybe not having your best interests uh at the forefront. And then for like a solution and resolution, I actually see that some of you are gonna start actually going in a new creative endeavor. I got the page of pentacles and then I got the ace of swords. So either you're gonna start looking at things in a whole different light and maybe getting um what's the word I'm thinking of? Some inspiration and some new feelings on how to rotate and shift things and things that are gonna get more exciting again. It almost feels like you're gonna be out of this drought. I'm seeing somebody who's like walking the desert, and you're like, when is this ever gonna end? It feels like I've been walking and there's no respite anywhere. So I'm seeing that people who kind of get that creative muse going, and then all of a sudden they're shaking things up and they're looking at things from a different angle, and then it like sparks all that creativity again, and then the words start flowing out onto the paper, and you get over that writer's block. So just if this is you, make sure sometimes it is better for us just to walk away, it's it's better for us just to take a time out to sit with ourselves. We have so much inner strength in us that we don't need to outsource this. Like, tap into your own ATM machine, and uh the good things are gonna come. It looks like a really positive outcome. So if this is you and you're kind of in the decision fatigue, and what do I do? And I thought this was it, and now it's not, and all the things, and I've been going on this path for too long to maybe call it in. Just know that things are gonna shake up and maybe pivot slightly for you. So it'll be a good new fresh energy coming in.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:22

Oh, I love that message. I resonated with bits and pieces of it too, with what's going on in my life, and you know, there is something sacred about going through a big change and keeping that your cards close to your heart, like you know, just telling your inner circle and just keeping that private. I just feel I I really love that. That's what I am doing right now, and I just when I'm ready to share, it's like when like I'm totally 100% in, but when you're going through the thick of it, just keeping that to yourself is yeah, that's really sacred, but cool.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:54

Yeah, I agree, and yeah, hopefully some or bits and pieces, like Christy, you know. Hopefully it resonated.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:01

But oh yeah, yeah, mental, get out of the head, and I love your tune into your ATM machine. Oh, I I love that. Yeah, yes, all right, and you know, our Reiki circle for June. We haven't picked a date yet, um, but we will post that on Instagram, so stay posted or um tuned in for that. We will share that date when that's uh all locked in. And you can find us on Instagram, of course, at Livin' the Reiki Life, and we have our personal pages as well. Mine, you can find me at the Birch Soul.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:37

And I am Reiki with Manda, and I've slowly started opening up my schedule again. I got some distant appointments uh available, and I have in person by request. So, and I am still teaching, um, also kind of by request, so nothing really scheduled, but yeah, reach out to us and uh we'd love to hear from you with feedback or just anything you have.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:59

Yeah, yeah, we love getting messages about how the episode landed, or if you have any questions about recommendations on books or anything, yeah, yeah, shoot us a message. So, yeah, I hope you enjoyed today's episode, and we will see you in a month. Bye.