[25] Exploring Motivation, Curiosity, and Self-Care with Xavier Lemon

This week’s episode features Xavier Lemon. We get down to chatting about life, his vibe, and what keeps him ticking. Xavier spills the beans on how curiosity is his compass, always pushing him to learn new stuff. We dive into the cool world of ideas and why he's all about copying the good stuff – you know, success strategies that work like magic. 

Xavier drops some truth bombs on why taking care of yourself is non-negotiable. We're talking making yourself a VIP in your own life. Plus, we dish on the whole community thing. Turns out, he's all about surrounding yourself with folks who are hustling for their dreams, just like you.

Links and Mentions
Book: "Big Magic" by Elizabeth Gilbert
Book: "The Art of the Impossible" by Steven Kotler
Book: "Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience" by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
Soundcloud profile: WolfgangX
LinkedIn profile: Xavier Lemon
Instagram profile: @commoncowboy

About the Guest
Xavier is a recognized sales leader who thrives at the intersection of business, technology, and building high-performing teams. Over his 10+ year career, he has leveraged his personable approach and analytical eye to drive growth across industries - from spearheading the enterprise sales division at Praxis Labs to leading his own successful agency, Lemon Marketing Group.

Beyond closing deals, Xavier is passionate about uncovering patterns in data to inform smarter strategies. Whether digging into sales funnel metrics or broader market research, he knows how to translate complex datasets into compelling stories that guide business decisions.

Outside of data-driven decision making, you'll find Xavier soaking up the sunshine in New Mexico. He recharges through activities like cycling, skiing, and community building - even serving on the board of Albuquerque’s NPR station, KUNM-FM.

Transcript

[TRANSCRIPT]

0:00:00 - (Melissa): Welcome to My Life is a Saturday, the podcast that helps you live your best life by embracing a Saturday mindset. I'm your host, Melissa Janson, and each week I'll be sharing my experiences and interviewing guests who have learned how to make the most out of every day. From tips on how to develop a positive mindset to ideas for living a more fulfilling life, we'll cover it all. So get ready to let go of your worries, embrace your passions, and live life to the fullest.

0:00:26 - (Melissa): Ready to dive in? Let's go. Okay. Holy cow. Welcome back to yet another episode of My Life is Saturday podcast. Today we have a very special guest. One of my good friends, Xavier Lemon is going to be here and to give you a little bit of background information about Xavier before he starts talking for himself. Xavier is a recognized sales leader who works in business, technology, and building high performance teams.

0:00:59 - (Melissa): He uses patterns and data to inform smarter strategies, loves digging into sales, funnel metrics, and working with data sets, which is very oddly interesting to me because I like doing that stuff, too. That's what I did in my corporate job. He lives in the Sunshiny, New Mexico, loves cycling, skiing, and community building, and is even on the board of Albuquerque's NPR, which is very interesting. Welcome to the thank you.

0:01:29 - (Xavier): Thank you. Very happy to be here.

0:01:31 - (Melissa): Melissa, thanks for coming on the show. And can you let the people know just, like, a little bit more about.

0:01:37 - (Xavier): You, so a little bit more about me? I'm an idea person, so I love data because I love ideas and finding ways that they're connected and how to make all the things I enjoy, all the things I want, and all the things I have to do work. So I guess in a nutshell, just very excited, very impressionable, and motivated and motivational. So kind of just let all those things work. Synergies like this really get me going, I hope get other folks going.

0:02:06 - (Xavier): And that's really what I'm about, I think. Just community team building and building an.

0:02:12 - (Melissa): Yeah. Your your curiosity and charisma around ideas and learning new things has always been very interesting to me since I met you. I'm always like, oh, God, xavier knows a bunch of random shit about a bunch of random stuff, and it's a lot of fun to hear how in depth you go on a topic when it interests. So I'm really excited to have you on and to have you chat with the people.

0:02:40 - (Xavier): Please tell me when to stop. When it's too much.

0:02:42 - (Melissa): All right. No, it's wonderful to give the people a little bit of background on what we kind of talked about. Talking about today is just kind of what motivates you in life. I think we just touched on how you're so motivated by learning and get really in depth in that. But what really is the driving factor to how you live your life.

0:03:11 - (Xavier): I think you can probably summarize it as like, why not? Me too. So again, we're going through this thing, seeing everything, hearing even more, right? And as I said, I get really inspired and motivated and might hear a song that makes me want to cry or might see something that makes me want to run. Who knows? But I think I just really feel this shit and figure, hey, if that person can do it or this company or team can build it, why not mine?

0:03:41 - (Xavier): And I just really say, hey, this is a blueprint. And I think there's another thing as well. The best artists in life steal it's a saying. It's not mine. Stole it. But I think, again, with ideas, I think that there's a lot of new ideas and there's a lot of ideas where somebody has maybe kind of picked up that torch and carried it some and say, hey, build on that. And that's where the well, why not me too.

0:04:05 - (Xavier): So I just will try shit. And I think what allows me to maybe learn something, figure something out before that just raw excitement and energy peters out is figuring out who's doing it well today and what can I emulate so funny? At work, I was telling someone about how I learned, and it's really I'm going to emulate what I've seen be successful tick for tack until I know it well enough that I can start jumping out and doing my own shit.

0:04:33 - (Xavier): And I guess to answer your question, if it's really pretty handwriting or if it's making music or a beat I like, or a run that I've seen someone do on the ski slopes, and I'm like, they did it. I've seen it, observed it, took something in from it, so why can't I go try that? And I think it's that curiosity and that question of why not? That really gets me going. And then I fuck around and find out. Sometimes it ain't great. Sometimes I'm like, I'll definitely talk about this one, but really fuck around and find out.

0:05:07 - (Xavier): Answer your question?

0:05:09 - (Melissa): It did. And fuck around and find out is a great motto.

0:05:14 - (Xavier): It depends on what you're trying to find out, right? Fuck around. It's more like play rather than like poke the bear, but to each their own.

0:05:22 - (Melissa): So have you always been this motivated and driven at finding out things? Is that just a character trait that you've grown up with?

0:05:32 - (Xavier): I haven't thought about that one before where it kind of came about. My earliest kind of desire of what I wanted to do and be was a police officer and a ninja combined. And one of my earliest memories was like, okay, both of those are really cool, which is two really far out things and never brought those two together. But I think I just have always been kind of naturally curious and just really like to understand how things work, I think, initially, right? I got my first CD player, and I'm like, how the fuck am I hearing music from this? Right? Never figured that one out either. But I think it's really just looking to I think seeking to understand, right.

0:06:16 - (Xavier): And I think the more you do a thing, the more prevalent it becomes. And I think just that little curiosity. So maybe, yes, always been this way, but not in this fashion. Just wanted to know why. And probably got my ass beat a lot for asking why, but it's fared pretty decently now because I could tell you, like, fucking how wine is orange, right? But I think maybe always been that way a little bit. But I would say got a bit more courageous after, like, a couple of hard L's that I took. So did fuck around, found out business failed, right?

0:06:51 - (Xavier): Didn't get the D One scholarship to go play football and go to the NFL that I thought that I would. And those were really hard times for me of, like, okay, there was an identity around these things that I'd built, and this is who I thought that I was. That ain't happening. So I'm still here. What the fuck's going on now? And I think that's where that just being really I asked someone earlier, so I would really love to know what it's like behind those glasses to someone. Right. Just curious. But I'm like, hey, I'm in here. I'm seeing these things.

0:07:20 - (Xavier): Why not just reinvent this? Why not just decide? Okay, Xavier is now blank, and I think that is a kind of, like, playfulness to it. I think it's good, but you've got to not be too serious about that as well, because I don't know, I've tried some really wild things and failed at a lot of them. But it's not that. It's not the outcome that really dictates. Did I enjoy this? Would I do it again? Did something happen here? Right? If so, I went and got some oil pastels, tried some shit. It's ass. I'll never show it to anyone, but did that. I got it right, and I know won't try that again. So I think it's just that playfulness and being detached to the outcome, I think is what has allowed me to maybe have always been that way and continue and feel like it's Saturday all the time.

0:08:15 - (Xavier): Why not? It's Saturday. So I'm going to go try this.

0:08:19 - (Melissa): Yeah, definitely. So I know that a lot of the listeners have expressed, like and we've talked a lot on the podcast about the Inner Critic, or what I call the Inner Mean Girl. In your pursuits of going down these roads of curiosity and creativity and playfulness, have you run into the inner critic before? And if you have, how do you overcome that?

0:08:41 - (Xavier): Oh, man, all the time. My mean girl is hella mean. Yeah, I think that just, like, that comes with the territory and I experienced it a lot myself, and I've also been able to help talk people through that. I call it impostor syndrome, right? Where a lot of times you're doing something for the first time. There's no muscle memory. There's no anything to pull from, and it's like floor is going to fall out at any moment.

0:09:07 - (Xavier): I think that's really real, and I think it's really important to acknowledge that, like, whoa, what I'm doing is for real, right? If you feel that way, pat yourself on the back because you're doing something pretty bold and courageous, right? You're not just like, I guess I'll watch another episode. No one gets imposter syndrome from watching another episode, right? So I think first realize that what I'm doing has some meaning and some value here. And that's why I am feeling this kind of nervousness. But I think it's that same maybe nervousness that keeps you sharp as well, right? Because you're like, hey, this really means something. I can't fuck this up.

0:09:43 - (Xavier): So to answer your question, yes, experienced that quite a bit. Probably definitely earlier this week. But how I kind of deal with that, I think that's an ongoing pursuit for me. Trying a lot of different things. In my bio that you shared, talked about being a lover of cycling, I found that that's one way, and I think there's a lot of ways to accomplish what I'm accomplishing by cycling. But I give myself the time to let my subconscious flood my mind with this shit and shoot through it, make sense of it. And my time on my bike is my time to really think. And I think giving those feelings and emotions space, they're going to happen, right? But have it be on your terms and in your control.

0:10:28 - (Xavier): I think that's one way that I've gone about it and has helped me a lot to have that. And I've now considered just like my productive thinking time rather than my, whoa, shit, let's think about everything that could go wrong here. It's just like, all right, let me get my list, and then I'm going to just start swinging this axe at all of these things, right? So I think that's one way I also like to talk about those things. I'm a person who thinks out loud. So I found and maybe this is more of a personal one, but if there is something that's really pressing, I'm not going to figure it out in my own head. Never works. I just get further beneath the surface that way. So I got to spit this out, and I've got to actually have someone else be able to respond and react to what I'm saying. Like, is this just off the wall? Am I being crazy here? Right? Is this something I should not be worried about? Or if it is, hey, help me chew through this. So now I've got someone also kind of working, cooperating, supporting me on whatever this thing that's pressing enough to have me feel like I'm breathing through a scroll.

0:11:27 - (Xavier): And then the third one, the most recent thing is actually breathing through a straw. I found this really cool necklace that comes from maybe a methodology that is straw breathing when you're anxious, tense even before moments of performance. So I do this type of thing for a living, but every single time it's really important. So I get that, oh shit, I got to be sharp, I got to be right. And I found that breathing through this metaphoric straw, this necklace that's yay long and it's a tube you inhale, exhale through that for 10 seconds is kind of box breathing.

0:12:05 - (Xavier): Look that term up, listeners, box breathing. I think it's like a Navy Seal thing, but it works. And that's something that I do. I'll turn my camera off and a couple of minutes before do my box breathing or do this breathing exercise. Because I think at the end of the day, everything is breath. And when you control that, you can control that tightness in your chest, that anxious feeling. So I try to just start with that. And those are, I think, the three things that I work on when my mean girl is telling me, are you crazy? You know you about to fuck this up or there's not enough time to get this stuff done.

0:12:38 - (Xavier): So maybe it's a rotation of those three things. Maybe it's whatever just feels the best to me at that moment, whatever I have the time for. But it's definitely something that happens. But I think the most important thing there is realize, hey, this is natural and it's because I'm out here accomplishing shit. Give yourself that time and then box it up and move on.

0:13:04 - (Melissa): Yeah, definitely answer it. I'm like I hope that you guys are taking notes because something that I've come to notice with doing more interviews and being on even other people's podcasts or listening to podcasts is that a lot of the secrets to life, like how we each individually do it, is the same exact shit. It's just we package it in a different way. And it's helpful because sometimes somebody will hear me talk about something like the intermingle and my ways to overcome that. And it's like not hitting, but they're going to hear you lay out your three ways, the things that are really helpful for you, and that's just going to be like a light bulb moment for them.

0:13:42 - (Xavier): I love that.

0:13:43 - (Melissa): It's super interesting. Now I want to move a little bit on the side path here. You are somebody who's like I feel like you're super passionate when you figure out you get out of that creativity or that curiosity stage and you decide that you like something, you're kind of like all in into the deep end on it, better or worse. I've seen that we worked in some capacity professionally together, so I've seen it there and I also see it in kind of your hobbies.

0:14:13 - (Melissa): So I want to know how is it that you how do you navigate that? How do you navigate having so many passions and interests? We touched in your bio about cycling and skiing and community building. But where do you find the time? How do you prioritize those?

0:14:34 - (Xavier): Thank you for asking that. Because now I'm going to get to have this conversation and sort it out for myself in real time. That's something that I would say battle with and think about a lot. So I rode my bike yesterday for the first time about a month and a half. And I'm like, Fuck, I really love this. Why am I not? And I think what you make the space well, let me rewind what you water grows, what you make the space for happens, right?

0:15:04 - (Xavier): And I think that for me, it's really being intentional about what am I making time for? So I schedule a lot, right? Block schedule person. And it's because there really isn't a way for me to do those things otherwise. And it is a lot of different things. I think it's just that kind of curiosity that what do I feel like? And kind of just go with the flow. So let me make sure I'm answering your question here. How do you make time for those things? I think it's just kind of listen, what do I feel like doing?

0:15:40 - (Xavier): Do I just want to watch Netflix, smoke some weed and chill? Do I want to make some music? Do I want to go take pictures of the mountains? Or whatever it is. I think it's just really being intentional about what do I need today? Yeah, what do I need today? And something that I'm poaching someone else on that has been a really good lesson for myself, is starting the day, what are the three most important things?

0:16:09 - (Xavier): And that's something that I've been running with for a few weeks now. And it might be yesterday was I need to ride my bike because I don't even know, can I still ride a bike anymore? Right? And another day it could be like, you know what, I just need to write. Just need to write something. I'm just pen to paper, I don't even know what. And I think that that has allowed me that's kind of the framework. But I found when I don't have an intention or a reason, usually none of those things I love doing and bring me joy happen.

0:16:37 - (Xavier): And then also my mean girl starts telling me, like, what I see whatever it is, she's looking right at me. And I'm like, yeah. So it's really finding that time. And for me, it's been like, hey, what's the most important thing today? And sometimes that's going to be work things. Sometimes it's personal relationship things. And sometimes it's today I just need to play. It's going to snow, and I need to go be in it.

0:17:02 - (Xavier): So I think it's just that check in, if you will. It's that check in. Yeah, but I don't know. I'm thinking about that. So if anything else comes to mind, I'll share. But that's a really good question and something I think I'm still figuring out. But that's kind of my best application right now.

0:17:18 - (Melissa): I love that. And I think for a lot of us it can be challenging, especially in the world that we live in where everything's like productivity and hustle and achieve and goals. And when you are talking about creating the first, like you're prioritizing the three things for the day. My mind automatically goes to this thing for this business, this thing for the podcast, this thing for work. And it seems like for you, you're way more in tuned with what you want and how you want to feel.

0:17:54 - (Melissa): And I'm just curious is that something that you developed? Is that something that comes natural to you? Have you ever been stuck in that? Like everything has to be a productive state?

0:18:07 - (Xavier): I'm going to answer all those best I can. Doesn't come natural. It takes constant practice. I don't think I have always been like that. I think that once I maybe just happened upon it, tried it and was like, okay, then it became a let's do that again. But I think that is for me the most important thing and it requires, I think, the exact opposite of what you're saying. Sometimes we get stuck in this flow of of like, okay, it's cramming. How do I do these things? And sometimes I think it's really hard to even know or hear yourself if you don't slow down.

0:18:42 - (Xavier): So to a detriment, sometimes I'll move too slow, but I would if it's okay when I think about what needs to happen. And I can easily attribute all of these things for these other roles and responsibilities that I have. But I know that if I'm not taken care of, I'm not going to do any of that shit very well, right? I'm going to just get through it half ass it. And maybe that's good enough for now. But I can't make that the pattern of how I do those things. And knowing me, that's just what would happen, right? So I think that, and this is something I've been preaching lately, is like me and we as me and my partner, we come first. So the worksheet is very important. It's how we feed ourselves, right? How we are in this thing. But you and I come first, right?

0:19:31 - (Xavier): And I think that that is the right kind of selfishness that we've got to have where those roles and responsibilities are important, but we have a role and responsibility. Like we are us, right? And I think that personal, just like what is and maybe we add four, right? If it's what's the foremost important things. And those three roles are huge. So what's the thing that's just going to bring me joy. How will I just say we talked to my brother earlier and I was like, you know what? When I go to the mountains, I literally smile the whole time and just say we damn near. And I'm like, okay, if we can just add one of those things in there, I think it's going to really spill over and make those three other roles and responsibilities.

0:20:09 - (Xavier): If nothing else. You're just smiling through that too, right? But I found it makes all those other things easier. And it's easy for me to say that now, but that was some really hard learnings from times where those three responsibilities did not get done because I just felt like shit. And I'm like, that takes more than I have to give, right? So I'm filling myself up first. I'm putting my mask on before assisting others like they tell you on the airplane. And then I'm going to go get to that work shit because I don't know, work will go on without me. Somebody will do it, right? So let me make sure I take care of me because work ain't gonna it doesn't have that same adherence to me that I do.

0:20:50 - (Xavier): I think that's just really the focus and most days I think it becomes natural. But I will realize at some point like, whoa, when I'm off on this and it just start feeling weird and you start feeling rushed and I think just panicked and even there's always stress. But when I notice I'm feeling more stressed than I have, then I call it taking the day and I'm going to put a Saturday right in the middle of my fucking week because that's what I got to do. And I'll black.

0:21:18 - (Melissa): Shit.

0:21:19 - (Xavier): I'll move it off and I'm unapologetic about it because I'm like, yo, way more important than this other shit, right? And if there's one thing I know we're going to talk about a lot, but if there's one thing right now, it is you are way more important than all this other shit. And I think that is the most important thing. And when we put ourselves first, then we do the things we want and need to do and we then respect that, hey, I got to get these other things done. So I think that's just like the mantra for me and trying to make sure that I get the shit I have to done with the smile. So let me make sure that I get smiling first.

0:21:57 - (Melissa): I appreciate that approach. I think when you said you have to put yourself first and care for yourself, it's something that we talk a lot about on the podcast is how you are like your home and your own best friend. And we are on a massive spinning rock in the middle of absolutely nothing and everything all at once. And the most important relationship is the one that you have with yourself. And so I really appreciate and respect that that was part of your answer. I think that the journey with ourselves and loving ourselves and caring for ourselves throughout the course of a lifetime is the most important, because the way that you're experiencing life is through yourself.

0:22:40 - (Melissa): It's all just kaleidoscope of exactly the same shit.

0:22:43 - (Xavier): But let me double click here. So something I would say all the time is you can't just, boom, go like this and disappear, right? You are not going to just disappear from all of the shit that's up under you. So, like, okay, I got to handle this, but let me get myself right and whatever that is. Go for a walk, listen to a song you like, do a little dance. All three. It's the most important thing, because you can't give anything out if there's nothing there to give, right? So build this up first.

0:23:16 - (Xavier): I love that. And, yeah, I love that being a theme in the podcast. Melissa, shout that out.

0:23:23 - (Melissa): Thanks. We're all about living a life you love. Building a life that feels like a Saturday. I think that creating moments of magic and imagination, laughter, adventure. You like snow, I like sunshine. Within every day is really where you get the juiciness of being a human. I don't really know what the purpose of being a human is, but it's got to be something to do with that. Okay, switching gears a little bit. So we've talked about your curiosity and your approach to life and some of finding passions and Hobies, but I want to talk about this community building aspect, and I think community building, from what I see online, there's a lot of it. It's, like, in person or online or in this niche or with work. But where is it that you find that you enjoy building community the most? And what does that look like for you?

0:24:25 - (Xavier): Ask that for me one more time. Sorry. Where is that? That I enjoy building community the most?

0:24:30 - (Melissa): Yeah.

0:24:31 - (Xavier): Okay. I think I really love working with what I call builders and this builder class of people that I've come up with, and it's people that are dreamers and courageous enough to take it from a dream and start it, build an MVP, put it down on paper, tell someone about it, even. Right? When we have these ideas, these businesses, these dreams, they're really personal, and we care a lot about them, and we believe in these things, and when we share it, we put it out in the world. We're exposing ourselves and our ego, and that's a really courageous and fucking bold thing to do.

0:25:11 - (Xavier): But all too often, we're worried and don't get to that point, right? Don't want to make ourselves as vulnerable as like, damn, that sucks. You got to put yourself out there for that in order for someone to say, like, this is the best thing I've ever seen or heard in my life. And that's a really scary thing to do. So I really admire the people that are able to silence the inner mean girl and just go, fucking do it, right?

0:25:37 - (Xavier): So when I talk about this builder class, I think of it largely as entrepreneurs, but it's also artists, right? It's creators. I think it's activists. And I really love people that just have a purpose and a passion, and it doesn't have to be like, hey, I've started this small computer company and now it's called Apple. It's just someone that says, I want blank. When you know what you want, cool. You could build a team and help get there. And I'll be first in fucking line to help, just because I get so much from giving. Also, whether it's just pure joy and satisfaction, it's a relationship and a bond, but also I get to learn, too.

0:26:17 - (Xavier): Someone else is just playing, but this is learning as well. And I get motivated myself. And I think sometimes I'm leeching the drive. Not leeching, that's a bad way to put it. But I am reflecting and looking to mirror the drive that I see from the folks that I'm working with and supporting. Like, hey, all right, this is building me up, right? I'm loving this commitment right here. And maybe back to the point I was making about the emulation.

0:26:49 - (Xavier): It's like, hey, I'll help. I'll pick up my shovel and dig, but I'm going to see what we're building here from watching you, right? And I think it's just this nucleus type thing where it's not moving in any one direction, but always moving. And I want to hop on that and be a part. So I think my favorite is folks that are really working towards something because it's meaningful, and I like understanding people and how they think and what drives folks as well. Where does motivation come from, right?

0:27:21 - (Xavier): And how do you get more of that? How do you re up that? Because if I can figure that out, observe that, then I can model that for myself, and then I can also give that back to people. So I think that's really it is really understanding motivation and what drives folks, and going and grabbing a shovel and working alongside someone is the easiest way to kind of see what's working and what's not. How do we do this? And then a byproduct is I get really invested, spend a lot of time thinking about it, and then I probably end up joining in some capacity on these things because it's a flame and I'm just putting some wood on and here it goes.

0:27:59 - (Xavier): And I really enjoy those things. So kind of just rambling going all over the place now. But yeah, I think the folks that are really working and building something, I have a heart for. I'm a builder myself and really just like being in that synergy.

0:28:15 - (Melissa): Yeah, I think that's very apparent in the work that. You do and capacities that we've worked together professionally as well. I am curious, have you read the book Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert?

0:28:29 - (Xavier): No, but that sounds cool.

0:28:31 - (Melissa): Tell me about it. Plays right along with your answer you just gave about ideas and building and essentially I'm rereading the book right now. I read it a few years ago, but she talks about how creativity and fear and ideas all come in a package together and ideas can hop from person to person and they're just like, kind of out in the wild, ready for somebody to capture them and bring them to life. And occasionally people will be like, see a new invention and be like, well, I had that idea, but they never worked on building it and creating it. So the idea jumped to another person or a lot of times in technology and medicine, we see a lot of these same products come out, and it's not because somebody stole the idea from another.

0:29:16 - (Melissa): It was that the idea wanted so badly to become a realism that it spread out amongst people and it's just a very interesting way to think about ideas and how they go from the big magical universe out there into this 3D.

0:29:38 - (Xavier): Yeah, I'm really into that. I'm into the book that you described that was Elizabeth Gilbert. Yeah, okay, I'm into that. I'm going to check that out. But I'm into even the idea of just calling that thing magic, right? Because it's a shapeless, formless thing that makes shit happen, right? And I'm in on that. I'm in on calling that synergy that just put our heads together and build something, some magic.

0:30:06 - (Xavier): Cool. But no, I haven't read that book. But I'm going to check that out because yeah, I wholeheartedly agree that these things come in a package, and I think somehow I maybe understood that a little bit and why I think that the value or the power of a team is that much more important. Because you might have heavy on the idea part of that package today, and I'm heavy on that fear part today. And we get to balance each other out. And there's a lot of great individual contributors and people that have gone on to do phenomenal things themselves.

0:30:40 - (Xavier): There's a damn sure large amount of teams that do that stuff as well, too. And I think when I don't have the idea and I'm not building something myself, let me go help balance out what comes in that package. I think. So that's a really interesting framework to kind of name the magic. So, yeah, I will let you know what I think about the big Magic.

0:31:02 - (Melissa): Nice. Okay, perfect. I love that you kind of brought up that it's to bring ideas into fruition is more than just a single person. I think a lot of times when we're going after a goal or trying to achieve something or build a life that we love or create a business, it can feel like we have to be the person to do every single thing. But I like your approach where it's no, sometimes you have the vision and I have the fear, or together we can create that wonderful thing because Rome wasn't built in a day and Noah needed help to build the ark.

0:31:38 - (Melissa): I think a lot of the times we kind of get into this we, in the general sense, get into this idea that I have to do it all and I have to be the person to put in all of the effort and go 100% every day. And even in partnerships or relationships or with family work, all of it. And it's such a good concept to really ground down that you don't have to do it by yourself and that there's people there to help you.

0:32:04 - (Xavier): Yeah, I think that is my biggest opportunity closing out this year. And because I didn't do super great going into next year is asking for help. And that's not because it's like, hey, I'm so good at getting shit done on my own. Right? No, shit gets done. Haphazardly. But maybe it's just getting through something a little bit less stressfully. Right. And asking for help. And that's when call in the expert when the time comes. Right. Call in somebody to be a sounding board or even delegate. Right. I think that's sometimes what we as leaders get caught up on is that I got to do it and nobody's going to be able to do it the way I have, and it has to be done. Right. I got to do it.

0:32:48 - (Xavier): But there's so much value in delegating for you, the individual, but also for that person, too. Right. That's opportunity. That's opportunity. So we talk about teams and really being able to bring balance and making sure that the magic is happening. Share that magic. Right. Share that magic. Yeah. Just wanted to add that.

0:33:11 - (Melissa): No, I appreciate it. I love it. I want to bounce back to, like, I gave you a book recommendation, and I know that you're an avid reader. We were just talking about how you support getting a library card, like 100%, something you go for. So I'm just curious, do you have a favorite book or a recommendation, something that's like a must read for somebody who's vibing with you and me in this conversation?

0:33:37 - (Xavier): Yeah. Okay. Anyone? Reach out to me directly if you don't love this one because it's a little weird. It's called The Art of the Impossible, and it is two clinical psychologists that really seek to understand how do high achievers achieve great things. How did the first person to surf a 50 foot hey, chill. How did the first person to surf a 50 foot wave that had never been done before do it? And then somebody went and surfed 100 foot wave. Right.

0:34:12 - (Xavier): What the fuck happened? Because anything beyond 50 was impossible for a period of time, right? So it's this premise of things that are lowercase I impossible just haven't been done yet. And then these things like capital I impossible, like, okay, I'm going to get from New Mexico to Washington by floating the whole way, something silly like that, right? There's these differences where we just generalize what is impossible and we put these limitations on ourselves, when in reality I'm a data guy, right? There's a formula and a science to going and accomplishing these things that are this lowercase I impossible.

0:34:50 - (Xavier): These limits we put on ourselves that can't be done because really it's just us that says it. So it's called the art of the impossible. I'm drawing a blank on the two authors names, but I think we can put it in the footnotes here.

0:35:04 - (Melissa): Yeah, that's a really cool one.

0:35:06 - (Xavier): And it really just uncovers motivation. What does that look like from what we see? And they follow really well known, say, musicians and then extreme athletes and whatnot, and they put together a formula in what this looks like and how are folks able to go and accomplish these things? And I just really like a framework and a formula that says, okay, allows me to apply the why not me? I'm going to go try it, and I'm going to go surf 150 foot wave. No, not really, but go and accomplish those things that I thought was impossible, these limits that I put on myself, or even these limits that I see people on my teams put on what we're doing, right, and say, hey, look, let's slow down and build a plan here. So Art of the Impossible, really cool book.

0:35:50 - (Xavier): It can be a little dry, I guess. Sciency. So if we need something a little bit more specific, DM me, that's perfect.

0:35:59 - (Melissa): I think whenever there's a book that's like a little bit dry, audiobook is the way that I go, always. Because it's just easier. You don't have to comprehend reading it, but yeah, that's great. I will link it in the show notes. I'll give a link for everyone to go check that out, and I'm going to put it on my list of ones to listen to. When you were talking about the big eye and little eye impossible.

0:36:25 - (Melissa): This little story, it's a little snippet. Let's go back to third grade. I'm on the bus, and I'm sitting in the back. There's this kid. He's like, we're arguing about what is possible or what is impossible. And I was like, everything's possible. Literally anything can happen. You never know. And he was like, Well, Pokemon can't come to life. And I was like, okay, I mean, if that's what you want to think. But I think that they could completely and then like, 2017 Pokemon Go comes out and people are walking around fucking getting Pokemon in the real life. And I just wish that I could transport back to that moment and show that kid fucking pokemon Go because really, anything is possible.

0:37:06 - (Melissa): Really silly example, but it just takes somebody envisioning it, getting that idea, and then allowing themselves to ask for help and create it. I'm sure not just one person made Pokemon Go.

0:37:21 - (Xavier): Yeah, and you know what? I would say that it was a limit that he was thinking that maybe he didn't know about augmented reality, or maybe he was just like, well, you aren't about to put some DNA in one and have it walk around here, right? But yeah, so it's framing and positioning, but I love that. I love that.

0:37:42 - (Melissa): Yeah, silly story, but when we talk about impossibility, I always go back to that like, no, truly, anything is possible, and it can happen. And there's probably like, some other timeline in some other galaxy where you are doing the thing that you think that you can't be doing. So I'm right on board with that. Yeah, okay. I feel like thank you so much for the book recommendation that this is a good spot for us to wrap up. And I ask every guest that comes on this question, and I want to hear your answer.

0:38:16 - (Melissa): What does my life as a Saturday mean to you?

0:38:21 - (Xavier): Before I answer that, I just want to add a little piece. When you first shared this idea in the universe and it made its way to me, I really loved it because I think it very much coincides with a really core philosophy I have is like, you come first and saturday is almost a universally understood thing of like, some folks work on Saturday, but they understand the premise of, like, hey, I ain't got to work. I ain't got shit to do. I'm going to do what I want, right?

0:38:51 - (Xavier): So I really love that, and I think about that a lot. I think about that. I think when I am bogged down and it's those times where I find that I'm off track and can't really hear and feel what I best need, I'm like, okay, what would I do if it was Saturday? And that just kind of grounds me back again and reminds me, okay, how do I fill my cup up before I start trying to pour out of mine into others?

0:39:15 - (Xavier): So I just wanted to add that piece and thank you for just putting that out there because the magic happened. And I probably should tell you every time I think about it, but I think about it a lot, and it just kind of repositions the most important thing for me when I really need it. To answer your question, what does my life as a Saturday mean to me? I think that it is really go have fun and play. I don't think that's something that we think about very much as adults, but play is like, the best way to learn.

0:39:48 - (Xavier): And I think that there isn't a lot of rules on playing. There isn't an outcome or even much expectation on playing. And it's the expectations that hang us thinking that something should go or look or be a certain way when really just let shit be. And on Saturdays I'm like, well, this is what I'm wearing right now. Might be what I'm wearing for the rest of the day, right? Or I started my day walking around neighborhood just taking pictures of plants. So you know what? I think this is what it's going to look like.

0:40:17 - (Xavier): So for me, my life as a Saturday really means just go, let shit be, go play, have fun. And then when you do that, the rest of the things kind of take care of themselves, right? The week is going to come. How about that? The week is going to come, so go play right now. And I think that's the best way that I could sum it up. And when I hear you say it or have to say it to myself, that's what it says to me is go play.

0:40:41 - (Xavier): Take the day, block out 2 hours, whatever you need, go play, check in, and then we'll get to the rest.

0:40:48 - (Melissa): I absolutely love that. So concise and just right on point. I love playfulness. And playing is something that you've brought up a lot throughout this episode. And I appreciate the reminder that life should be fun. Because again, we're on a spinning rock in the middle of nothing and everything all at once. If life isn't enjoyable and full of play or imagination or magic laughter, it's like, what are we doing?

0:41:20 - (Xavier): We're just loading up. I think play for me is just like detaching, right? So fuck everything else. Just right here, right now. And it's like just true bliss for a little bit, right? Like Legos a puzzle, those are things I think play is also flow. Okay, sorry, opening the loop back up. Art of the Impossible talks about getting into a flow state. And I think a core tenant of that book is like when great things are achieved, it's in this state of flow. So really, how do we get ourselves into this state of flow? And I think that's probably the seal on this one here is all of these things, this kind of starting with myself, fill my cup up before I pour out of it, is for me how I get myself into flow.

0:42:04 - (Xavier): And when you feel good, you do good, right? So let me just go get myself feeling good, go have some fun and detach from everything else. So maybe that is just listen to a song. I've recently just started making some music. I probably really poor at it. My brother was telling me that I should learn theory because there's reasons why sounds go this way. And I'm like, you know what, this shit is just raw and I'm just having fun.

0:42:28 - (Xavier): And that is sometimes what I need to just get myself ready to go accomplish some of those other things. Find flow.

0:42:37 - (Melissa): I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. You're just dropping like gold everywhere. Okay, before we sign off, I want to give the people an opportunity to know where they can find you. Where are you hanging out in the universe?

0:42:52 - (Xavier): In the woods. So you probably won't find me, but you can connect with me on LinkedIn. I try to do a good amount of writing, some thought provoking stuff, some real personal. This is where I'm at. This is what I thought, and this is kind of where I'm at now, and I like to put that out there and hope that people engage and share true truths about that. So LinkedIn. Xavier Lemon. Pretty straightforward there. I'm on instagram at Common Cowboy. I ride bikes. I figured that's the new type of cowboy and then the new one. So I said, I just started making some music. Find me on SoundCloud. Wolfgang X, please. I'm more than happy to learn about what someone's building, working on, share what I'm building, working on.

0:43:37 - (Xavier): So, yeah. Thank you. Thank you, Melissa.

0:43:40 - (Melissa): Of course. And I'll link all of those in the show notes. One last thing that I forgot is, what is your favorite emoji right now?

0:43:48 - (Xavier): Oh, it's new. I got a new one. It used to be either the guy dancing or the cowboy with the cowboy hat, but there's a new one that just came out. It's like this face, and it has, like I send that all the time. I don't even know what it means. And I use it a lot of different ways, but I think that's that excitement and energy. Right? Just like you might need to edit that. No, that's what I take from that emoji, and I just love putting it on the end of everything I say.

0:44:19 - (Xavier): Folks that know me know I bring that. Just like I could yell it through the phone. I would yell it through the phone if I could. So I think that adds that. But that's my favorite emoji.

0:44:27 - (Melissa): Perfect. I will all about you. Mine is the Purple Heart. That's what I use all the time for everything. Or the multiple stars. But I will put that emoji in the show notes so you guys can see exactly what he's talking about. And then when you go connect with Xavier on SoundCloud or Instagram or LinkedIn, give him that emoji as an opener.

0:44:48 - (Xavier): I would love that. I would love that so much.

0:44:50 - (Melissa): You came from the podcast, and thank you so much for being a guest on the My Life of Saturday podcast. Xavier, I really appreciate all the wisdom and your openness and willingness to be here and show up and support. Super great.

0:45:09 - (Xavier): It beats talking to the dogs all the time. So thank you for giving me an audience here. And thank you for building the audience, because what you build is really powerful, right? And you've got the opportunity to share your knowledge, your truth, your wisdom with these folks and then bring folks in. And again, this thing is the magic, right? You're building that. So it's really cool. And I am really honored that you had me be a part. Thank you.

0:45:34 - (Melissa): Of course. Thank you. All right, folks, that's it for this episode. Can't wait to join you again. And I want to just leave you with this. If it's on your heart, it's there for a reason. If you have the vision, you can build it. Any dream is possible. And until next time, bye. Thanks for tuning in to my life as a Saturday. I hope you enjoyed this episode and are feeling inspired to live your best life.

0:45:59 - (Melissa): If you liked what you heard, please subscribe, leave a review and share it with your friends. You can also follow us on Instagram and Facebook at My Life is a Saturday for more fun and inspiration. Remember, life is short, so let's make the most out of every day.