[28] Embracing Your Inner Child

In this episode, Melissa discusses the concept of the inner child and how healing your inner child can bring in playfulness, adventure, wonder, and curiosity. She explores the positive aspects of inner child play and how it can help you live your best life. She also discusses the societal expectations for adults and how we can set them aside to embrace our inner child.

Transcript

[TRANSCRIPT]
0:00:00 - (Melissa): Welcome to my life is a Saturday, the podcast that helps you live your best life by embracing a Saturday mindset. I'm your host, Melissa Janson, and each week I'll be sharing my experiences and interviewing guests who have learned how to.
0:00:13 - (B): Make the most out of every day.
0:00:14 - (Melissa): From tips on how to develop a positive mindset to ideas for living a more fulfilling life, we'll cover it all. So get ready to let go of your worries, embrace your passions, and live life for the fullest. Ready to dive in? Let's go.
0:00:35 - (B): Welcome magic Makers. Welcome to the very first bonus episode, especially exclusively for you, a magic maker. Thank you so much for being a part of the Magic Makers Club and supporting the podcast. With your support, we're able to continue to improve the podcast, reach more people, and continue spreading the my life is a Saturday vibes. I am so excited for today's episode. The topic was chosen by our very first magic maker, Cece.
0:01:09 - (B): Hey Cece. And today we're going to be talking all about the inner child, the inner child and living your life like a Saturday. Go hand in hand and through the work of healing your inner child, of connecting deeply with your inner child, you are able to more easily enjoy life, participate, enjoy playfulness, fun, use curiosity, set down shame, guilt and judgment, and overall really raise those Saturday vibes.
0:01:49 - (B): The cool thing about your inner child is that even if you've never heard this term inner child, each and every single one of us has an inner child. Living inside your inner child is the part of your subconscious that has been picking up on messages way before you were able to fully process what was going on mentally and emotionally around you. It holds emotions, memories, beliefs from the past, as well as hope and dreams for the future.
0:02:21 - (B): And it plays such a significant part in what you believe can and cannot happen for you. Your inner child is the one that remembers that sweet smell of your grandma when she gave you a hug. They remember the feeling of our hearts brimming with joy and love when our parents looked at us with pride. Our inner child remembers the feeling of being invited to a friend's birthday party and being so happy and confident.
0:02:50 - (B): Our inner child remembers feeling dumb when a teacher scoffed at us or when we didn't have the answer to an easy question. Our inner child is present when we start our first job, when we prove our boss that we're responsible and capable. They are present when we're teenagers wanting so badly to belong. Our inner child is inside of us when we go on a quest to find love or to find social groups to belong to.
0:03:16 - (B): It's the part that feels understood, calm, warm, fuzzy, when we have a good time with other people. It's also the part that feels crushed and betrayed when we're hurt, ignored, lied to, or when someone hurts or betrays us. And awareness of your inner child can help you think back to lighter, carefree years. But not everyone associates childhood with fun and playfulness and adventure. If you've ever experienced emotional pain, trauma, neglect, your inner child may seem small and vulnerable as an adult. You may feel like you are carrying around a backpack full of bricks. You may find that your perspective of life is hard and challenging, and you may have buried that deep inside.
0:04:09 - (B): You may have put that pain deep inside to protect yourself. Both yourself today as you're listening to this and the child that you once were. But hiding pain doesn't heal it, and it often manifests as distress in personal relationships, difficulty meeting your own needs and truly acknowledging that you have an inner child. And working to heal your inner child can help you address some issues that come up. It can help you find more ease and joy in life, and it can 100% help you raise the my life is a Saturday vibes.
0:04:54 - (B): Now, there's a whole slew of resources out there on the Internet and at the library that can help you foster a healing relationship with your inner child. And I'm not going to go too deep into that during this episode because I think that if that is the journey that you want to take, and I highly recommend that you do, I think that you will find so much benefit by healing that relationship in really comforting and reparenting your inner child.
0:05:26 - (B): I think that you'll find that, that greatly and vastly improves your life. But I'm not going to go too deep into that because there's just so much, so many facets, so many avenues that we can go down to help you along that journey. I want to give you the opportunity to explore that on your own. But today we're going to talk about how healing your inner child, how this concept of inner child can bring in playfulness, adventure, wonder, curiosity.
0:05:57 - (B): And that's what I really want to focus on today, are those positive aspects of inner child play. Now, remember back in episodes four and five where we talked about imagination and adventure and how those are the building blocks to your framework for living life like a Saturday, your inner child has a field day when you allow them to take the reins and allow them the opportunity to go hogwild with your imagination, when you allow them to turn everything into an adventure.
0:06:38 - (B): And when you really allow them to overflow with joy with the things that light them up. Our fellow magic maker Cece had mentioned when she shared the idea of the inner child for this episode that recently she had a friend who was kind of questioning in a way, looking down on the fact that Cece absolutely loves Disneyland. She is a Disney grown up, a Disney child through and through, and Disneyland and Disney things are her happy place.
0:07:13 - (B): And her friend was kind of like, aren't you ever gonna grow up? Aren't you ever gonna get over that? And her response was absolutely perfect. She said, hell no. Why would I give up something that makes me so happy, that lights me up, that gives me comfort and warmth, joy and happiness? Why would I get rid of that? Because it, quote unquote, isn't a grown up thing. She said hell no to her friend. And that is the attitude that we have to have when we're really allowing our inner child to thrive.
0:07:52 - (B): So let's talk about that. Set aside societal expectations for your age or what part of phase, chapter of life you're at. Set those aside and let's just really brainstorm brain dump dream right now about what brings us joy, what fills us with happiness, what makes us have a sense of curiosity or wonder, adventure. What pathways do our imagination want to go down? And I'm not talking about scary pathways where you're like, anxiety attack, spiraling yourself about the possibilities of some crazy event. I'm talking about imagination.
0:08:37 - (B): When you're playing, when you're creating, when you're doing crafts, when you're creating music, when you're dancing, those are the thought patterns that we're going to dive into. I want to know, when is the last time that you played outside. Remember as a kid playing tag with your friends during recess, or the floor is lava or cops and robbers. You may have felt like you've aged out of that, but you can still find joy outdoors.
0:09:08 - (B): Think about playing a yard game, going for a hike, paddleboarding, boating. Personally, I love going to the ocean and looking around for cool shells. I love going out into nature. And I actually got this from my friend who takes her kids on nature walks, and they have this clipboard, and it has red, yellow, green, blue, purple and brown. And throughout the walk, the kids are looking for different items, flowers, leaves, rocks, pine cones, birds that match those colors, and they see how many they can have. I absolutely love that activity because it gives you awareness of your surroundings. It pulls you out of your mind and into the present reality.
0:09:56 - (B): And it's just such a fun way to play outside. Some other suggestions for outside play. Play ball in your backyard. Run around the neighborhood. Remember in episode was it seven? When we talked about the benefits of sunshine outside? Play not only nurtures your inner child, but it gives you the benefits for your mental health, of the vitamin D, of being in a present reality, of soaking up the sun. When was the last time you read a comic?
0:10:32 - (B): A comic book? The Sunday funnies. When was the last time you sat down and really allowed yourself to be enchanted by a comic book? And maybe straight up comic books like Calvin and Hobbes isn't totally your thing, but are you into the world of superheroes? Are you into the Garfield comics? What comic would you be able to read and find joy from? I remember being a kid and staying the night over at my grandparents house. And in the morning, I'd get up, my grandpa would be in his robe, sitting at the table, have the newspaper spread out. And as soon as he got done with the section that had the comics in the back, I was on that shit.
0:11:22 - (B): I was reading those comics. I was laughing at them. I would cut out the ones that I thought were funniest and take them home so I could show my parents that joy, that intrigue, that desire and response to something that honestly, as an adult, I tend to overlook the amount, the capacity that that has to bring me such a sense of joy. When was the last time that you did that, and when is it within the next few days that you could really put yourself in the position to enjoy a comic, enjoy a comic book, enjoy a comic strip?
0:12:02 - (B): When could you do that? Now let's pivot a little bit. When you were younger, what hobbies did you have? What could you spend hours doing? And it just felt like time flew by and you couldn't get enough for me. I loved books I would make every summer. I would scour Tumblr. I would look at the best reader list on the library, and I would check out as many books as possible. I remember printing out this page that had, like, 200 different books on it for young adults and making it the goal to read all of those books during the summer. Did I? No, but I love doing that research, and I loved reading the books.
0:12:50 - (B): What other hobbies may not be reading? You may be like, fuck, no, Melissa, I'm not reading. But what hobbies did you enjoy as a child? Was it arts and crafts? Was it building with legos or model cars? Was it sports? Was it bowling? I was on the bowling team growing up, and that shit was fun. It was awesome. Do you love drawing, gaming, Pokemon cards. I want you to rekindle your enthusiasm for your childhood obsessions. When did you grow out of those and why?
0:13:25 - (B): What happened? Did you just feel like you aged out of it? Did you just feel like life got too many responsibilities or it was no longer appropriate? If you love playing with play doh, bitch, go buy yourself a play doh kit. The whole purpose of this, of enjoying your inner child, of rekindling this relationship, of allowing your inner child to point you in the direction of boundless joy and curiosity and happiness, is so that you can up those Saturday vibes. This is that you can enjoy your time on the spinning rock in the middle of nothing and everything all at once.
0:14:05 - (B): Friend, if you're not enjoying life, if you're not finding moments during your day that make you feel alive, that bring you happiness and joy, then what the fuck are you spending your time doing now? I'm not discrediting the fact that life is crazy and wild, and a lot of us have situations that come up with that take time and energy and can be very exhausting or even occasionally traumatizing. I'm not talking about that and I'm not discrediting that.
0:14:39 - (B): But what I'm saying is that you have one chance to be here to enjoy the things that life has to offer. Why aren't you making it a point to have more fun, to play with your inner child, to create more joy? Okay. The next suggestion that I have for cultivating an even deeper, more playful relationship with your inner child is to have a dance break. How many videos have we seen online where kids are just going at it, loving life, dancing the way that they feel is best, and it's just so mesmerizing.
0:15:23 - (B): The way that they are completely unself conscious is admirable. You don't need to have the grace of a ballerina to have a dancing session with a smile on your face. Just put on a song that you enjoy, or turn on the radio and see what's on and move your body in. Whatever feels good. You got to know hip hop. You don't have to know how to twerk. You don't even have to look good doing it. None of those things matter. All that self consciousness, kick it out to the curb.
0:15:55 - (B): Just enjoy moving your body. Loosen your muscles. After a day of sitting, put on that music and dance like no one's watching. Have a dance break, babe. And with that, maybe you want to learn a new dance. Learning something new is a great way to add playfulness to your life. Learn a new skill, learn a new language, learn just even a small bit of a topic that interests you. Is there something that you used to be interested in as a kid that you explored maybe a little bit, but never really dove into?
0:16:35 - (B): Is there a TED talk or podcast that you could listen to or a YouTube video that you could watch that would let you explore that topic a little bit more? I go through phases where I get really intrigued by things and I'll research a bunch about it and then honestly, it lights me up. And at the end of researching some stuff, I'm like, oh, shit. Did you know that there are 47,000 different ways to pop popcorn?
0:17:05 - (B): That fact, I don't know if that fact is necessarily accurate, but really dive into things that spark your interest, things that make you curious. Curiosity is a great compass in the direction of things that are going to bring your inner child joy. Now, this next suggestion that I have is extremely simple, and I think not enough of us do it. Live in the present. One of the key factors of becoming an adult, I think, in today's society, is this consistent worrying about the future while ignoring what you have now.
0:17:49 - (B): This is why a gratitude practice and a mindful practice is so important to enjoying the life that you're living as you're living it. So many of us get anxiety, get wrapped up in these ideas and visions of the future, or worried about how things are going to pan out, or worrying about what the next big thing is, or our next big decision, or our next big move. And I can tell you from experience that every time that I get wrapped up in that shit, I lose sight of the fact that my life is full, chock full of blessings right now, today, there is so much to be grateful for. You're probably listening to this podcast on a computer, a cell phone, an echo, Google home.
0:18:41 - (B): You're listening to it some way electronically. And the fact that you have access to that and to the Internet is a blessing. The fact that you woke up this morning is a blessing. The fact that you are able to see and move your body and hear are blessings. The fact that you are loved, that you have a warm bed, that you are safe and you are fed the world around you is a blessing. And the more time that you are able to live in the present, stop worrying about the future, stop fretting about the past, and consciously make a decision to let your awareness guide your life.
0:19:20 - (B): Practice being grounded, practice meditating is going to bring you so much more joy and so much more peace. All right, this is the final suggestion that I have on how to create more playfulness. Enjoy within your life and indulge your inner child is to have a tasty treat. I remember being a kid and like, the ice cream man comes around the neighborhood and you hear that sound and you're like, scrounging up money. I remember we had a coin jar in the laundry room that we weren't supposed to touch.
0:20:01 - (B): My brother and I would crack that thing open and steal enough money to buy a couple of choco tacos from the ice cream truck. And just enjoying that, like, having that rush, the adventure of getting the money and getting out there before the ice cream man goes away and then having the pleasure of eating that choco taco brought me so much happiness. Like, what is a tasty treat that you could indulge in?
0:20:31 - (B): And I'm not talking, like, binge eating. I'm not talking about being Augusta gloop from the Willy Wonka or eating Miss Shrunchpool's cake. But just what is something that you can enjoy, indulge in and intentionally be present during that? For me, I love popcorn. I love ice cream and popcorn. So I'm always happy if I'm able to have some of that. And the times that I am intentional and enjoy it without feeling guilt, shame, or judgment around the fact that it's like, quote, quote, not a healthy food, which we could have a whole nother episode on the mentality and mindset around food and exercise. But all of that aside, that brings me so much joy. So what tasty treat can you indulge in that your inner child is going to be so freaking excited about? Is it a root beer float? Is it a dilly bar?
0:21:33 - (B): Is it a Shirley temple? I mean, for some people that I know, drinking soda growing up was not a common thing. And for them, having a soda or having a root beer float is truly a treat. So that's what I have for you on ways that you can up level the joy and playfulness that you have with your inner child to deepen that relationship in a positive way. And I really challenge you this week to choose one or two of these and start incorporating into your routine. Is it being more present?
0:22:13 - (B): Is it doing an activity that you used to love? Is it indulging in a tasty treat or reading a comic? Or having yourself a dance break in the middle of the day? If you are feeling in a spot in life where things just feel really overwhelming, choose one of these. And when that overwhelm sets in, do it. Maybe it's a dance break that to me seems like the easiest. You don't need a lot to make that happen, but do that and see how you feel afterwards. Do you feel more joyful? Do you feel more playful? Do you feel more happy?
0:22:51 - (B): And report back to me. Slide into my dms on Instagram at my life is a Saturday and let me know how it is that you're feeling. Nurturing your relationship with your inner child is so important. It truly is work that when you are intentional with it, it's going to benefit you in such a vast way. And I'm so excited that you are allowing me to help guide you on that journey. Let me know how it goes. I can't wait to hear and I hope you enjoyed this episode.
0:23:29 - (B): Thank you again so much for being a part of the Magic Makers club. Truly, your support allows me to continue to bring quality content to this podcast. It continues to allow me to dream bigger and broader and pull out of the ether more ideas for where we're taking this and I'm just so happy to have you along for the ride. All right, I love you. I'll talk to you soon. Bye.
0:24:02 - (Melissa): Thanks for tuning in to my life as a Saturday. I hope you enjoyed this episode and are feeling inspired to live your best life. If you liked what you heard, please subscribe, leave a review and share it with your friends. You can also follow us on Instagram and Facebook at my life is a Saturday for more fun and inspiration. Remember, life is short, so let's make.
0:24:23 - (B): The most out of every day.