WEBVTT 00:00:05.607 --> 00:00:06.408 What is up everybody? 00:00:06.408 --> 00:00:08.532 Welcome to our Reflections podcast. 00:00:08.532 --> 00:00:13.743 I am here in studio with Mike Lauer, the musical genius. 00:00:13.743 --> 00:00:15.045 What's happening, mike? 00:00:15.045 --> 00:00:29.443 Not much, as he says hey, dude, I was thinking the other day, you ever notice how kids will oftentimes, or many times, have a what I call a level 10 reaction to like a level 2 infraction. 00:00:30.385 --> 00:00:53.072 Sometimes I would tell my kids hey, hey, listen, you are having an outlandish level 10 reaction to a level 2 infraction and like what I mean is like your kid wanted to cut up the bananas on their own and you started without them and they just lose their minds and like fall on the ground, flailing, screaming, and there's a part of you as the adult that's like. 00:00:53.072 --> 00:01:01.103 What is happening, like this is like an out of body experience, because you are acting like a maniac when what happened was not that big a deal. 00:01:01.103 --> 00:01:11.545 Like I was telling Mike this Mike told me his brother just recently his was supposed to cook some oatmeal with his daughter and and he started without her and she just lost it. 00:01:11.545 --> 00:01:21.256 And Mike was just marveling at how, like the extravagance of her response in this moment to this really small thing, and I I think it's hilarious how kids do this. 00:01:21.256 --> 00:01:23.403 But here's also what I noticed. 00:01:23.403 --> 00:01:25.969 It's not just kids that do this. 00:01:25.969 --> 00:01:32.266 Adults do it all the time too, if you watch them closely enough or even just turn on the news. 00:01:32.266 --> 00:01:40.230 I mean, how in the world does anybody in a traffic are like, how does a traffic infraction result in in a shooting, death? 00:01:40.230 --> 00:01:49.768 Or like an office fight, like you got, you cut a guy off and now you're now it's come to blows like, is that really a measured response to a guy cutting you off in traffic? 00:01:49.768 --> 00:01:51.974 Or I saw this video online. 00:01:51.974 --> 00:01:52.858 It was bananas. 00:01:52.897 --> 00:02:01.811 This guy was on the golf course and there was a cart and this guy, who was by himself, picked up the wrong ball and this group was trying to tell him, hey, that's our ball. 00:02:01.811 --> 00:02:03.599 And he's like no, it's not, it's my ball. 00:02:03.599 --> 00:02:04.686 And they're like they start arguing. 00:02:04.686 --> 00:02:27.506 I don't know why they're filming this, because that's what we do, I guess nowadays we film everything and and they start arguing and the guy like rips off his shirt and starts screaming like almost like in this monstrous kind of it was wild and like starts punching himself in the chest and wants to like they get freaked out, they drive away, probably wise, because this guy was like losing his mind. 00:02:28.367 --> 00:02:38.361 And anyway, I've noticed that we as adults as well as kids, we oftentimes react like this right, you know, I call it like we react rather than then respond. 00:02:38.361 --> 00:02:56.465 And it's this outlandish level 10 reaction to sometimes a low level infraction, and when we do it, we it, just it lacks a certain amount of wisdom or thought or even clarity or even help, any kind of helpful you know way forward, and like there's zero room as well, especially for us who are people of faith. 00:02:56.465 --> 00:03:07.141 There's zero room when we do this, when we react in this way, there's like zero room for what the spirit might say to us, like we don't have any time to think, hey, what would be a good idea here? 00:03:07.141 --> 00:03:18.092 God help me out in this moment, because we jump right from the, the, the catalyst or the thing, the moment, right into my reaction, which is oftentimes this wildly inappropriate reaction. 00:03:18.092 --> 00:03:20.786 So we strike first and we ask questions later. 00:03:20.786 --> 00:03:29.400 So, like you know, the moment, the infraction, this conflict, it sort of provokes in us this outlandish response and we just lose it and we lose our minds. 00:03:29.500 --> 00:03:37.413 And but here's the thing too I learned this, you know, a while ago in therapy there's also another end of the spectrum. 00:03:37.413 --> 00:03:42.211 You could see this like this level 10 reaction, as like, let's say, you had a spectrum of 0 to 10. 00:03:42.211 --> 00:03:50.001 This would be like an 8, 9 or 10 reaction, like just losing it, yelling, screaming, throwing a tantrum, wanting to fight. 00:03:50.001 --> 00:03:52.429 This is like a high end response. 00:03:52.429 --> 00:04:01.711 On the other end, though, is kind of the opposite a response to a conflict or an infraction or something that happens to you. 00:04:01.711 --> 00:04:10.051 On the other end, is this almost disengaging, checking out, numbing, or absolute apathy. 00:04:10.051 --> 00:04:24.132 So you could say like, hey, maybe on the scale like 1 through 3, you would be like just 0 on the outside, 0 response other than like just checked out, disengaged, they don't even want to say anything or respond anyway. 00:04:24.132 --> 00:04:38.071 It's like just closing down, shutting down and so and I forget what it's called in therapy, but there's a word for it If you are smarter than me, let me know, you can email me or call me or whatever, but it's like hyper versus hypo is the are the prefixes. 00:04:38.071 --> 00:04:43.430 But so 1 through 3 is like this absolute checking out, disengaging kind of a response. 00:04:44.093 --> 00:05:04.112 7th, or rather 8 through 10, is like an absolute losing your mind, going bonkers, bananas, violent outbursts, and in the middle though, this 4 through 7, if you think about it that way, there is a tempered, measured response, a calm response, a sort of slower response to the thing. 00:05:04.112 --> 00:05:15.189 And, if you think about like, it's almost political season here in this country anyway and most political debates operate at the ends of the spectrum for all kinds of reasons. 00:05:15.189 --> 00:05:18.416 One, we just provoke each other into these outlandish reactions. 00:05:18.416 --> 00:05:20.769 And two, it is better TV. 00:05:20.769 --> 00:05:30.432 I mean, when I was in high school there was this wildly popular TV show called the Jerry Springer Show, and if you're too young to know what that is, don't even don't Google it, but it was. 00:05:30.432 --> 00:05:37.274 They basically put these people on the stage that they knew would provoke a reaction out of each other and like all heck would break loose. 00:05:37.274 --> 00:05:41.353 They were throwing chairs, the crowd is chanting Jerry, jerry. 00:05:41.353 --> 00:05:52.086 It was like the Coliseum, it was wild and people loved it because it was like I don't know, we like watching these super bizarre reactions from people and so I get it. 00:05:52.086 --> 00:05:53.088 It's better TV. 00:05:53.088 --> 00:06:00.752 What's not as good a TV as if people had the slow, measured response and conversation and good faith. 00:06:00.752 --> 00:06:04.848 That'd be boring debate or a boring Jerry Springer TV show. 00:06:05.310 --> 00:06:08.098 But my question is, what if we did that? 00:06:08.098 --> 00:06:18.634 What if we as people took time and like distance ourselves from the infraction, from the conflict, from the, the whatever is causing us discomfort and thought. 00:06:18.634 --> 00:06:31.237 Okay, I'm going to sort of put my emotions to the side here, whether it's to have this outlandish yelling, screaming, you know, or on the other side of disengaged, numbing out, and what, if I respond in this measured way? 00:06:31.237 --> 00:06:33.444 I mean, jesus was a master at this. 00:06:33.444 --> 00:06:41.274 There's this moment where they try to trap these experts in the law, to trap him, and they're like hey, jesus, what should we do with our? 00:06:41.274 --> 00:06:43.341 Should we pay taxes to Caesar or not? 00:06:43.341 --> 00:06:44.105 And these are experts in the law. 00:06:44.105 --> 00:06:52.918 They know that if he says yes, pay your taxes to Caesar, he's indicating at least in some way, that Caesar is God and Lord, which Caesar thought he was. 00:06:52.918 --> 00:06:57.973 So pay homage to the Caesar and submit yourself to his authority. 00:06:58.675 --> 00:07:07.420 If he says no, don't pay taxes to Caesar, he can be executed as a, as a trader and as a revolutionary, and so he's sort of stuck. 00:07:07.420 --> 00:07:09.004 But he doesn't react. 00:07:09.004 --> 00:07:15.485 He doesn't like go crazy and start, you know, punching people, and he also doesn't just like shut down and walk away. 00:07:15.485 --> 00:07:18.834 He says, hey, whose face is in the coin? 00:07:18.834 --> 00:07:19.576 And they're like Caesars. 00:07:19.576 --> 00:07:24.517 And he's like well, look, give to Caesar what is Caesar's and give to God what is God's. 00:07:24.517 --> 00:07:27.548 It's brilliant, this response, and he just it's. 00:07:27.548 --> 00:07:29.434 He's right in that four to seven range. 00:07:29.434 --> 00:07:30.759 He's just super chill. 00:07:30.759 --> 00:07:33.548 Hey, man, give to Caesar what is Caesar's. 00:07:33.548 --> 00:07:38.293 Yeah, give him that coin that coin doesn't matter, I don't care what the coin and then give to God what is God's. 00:07:38.595 --> 00:07:43.514 If you're a Jewish person which that's who his audience is in this moment they hear that what belongs to God? 00:07:43.514 --> 00:07:46.401 Well, for a Jew, everything. 00:07:46.401 --> 00:07:49.009 So give Caesar that measly coin, I don't care. 00:07:49.009 --> 00:07:51.995 But give to God, which is everything, what is God's. 00:07:51.995 --> 00:07:55.877 Give God everything, everything belongs to God, even the Caesar. 00:07:55.877 --> 00:07:57.744 And the Caesar has to bow his knee. 00:07:57.744 --> 00:07:58.125 I love it. 00:07:58.125 --> 00:07:59.086 It's his brilliant response. 00:07:59.086 --> 00:08:05.947 So today, may you be a person who, like, pushes back on these polar responses. 00:08:05.947 --> 00:08:08.432 May you not overreact or underreact. 00:08:08.432 --> 00:08:12.269 May you respond in this gracious, temperate, measured way. 00:08:12.269 --> 00:08:14.915 May you practice it, because you might need to have some practice. 00:08:14.915 --> 00:08:21.324 May you slow down and breathe deeply, give things time and maybe a person of response. 00:08:21.324 --> 00:08:22.526 All right, love you guys, peace out. 00:08:22.526 --> 00:08:27.398 Hey, if you enjoy this show, I'd love to have you share with some friends. 00:08:27.398 --> 00:08:40.291 And don't forget, you are always welcome to join us in person at Central in Elk River at 830, which is our local gathering, or at 10 o'clock, our modern gathering, or you can check us out online at clclcreverorg. 00:08:40.291 --> 00:08:40.631 Peace.