WEBVTT 00:00:16.635 --> 00:00:17.437 What is up everybody? 00:00:17.437 --> 00:00:20.791 My name is Ryan Braley and welcome to our Reflections podcast. 00:00:20.791 --> 00:00:30.750 I'm here at Central, this wonderful church community in the greatest city in Minnesota, elk River, the confluence of the elk and the Mississippi. 00:00:30.750 --> 00:00:31.391 It's a great place. 00:00:31.391 --> 00:00:33.624 Hey, today I wanted to talk with you guys. 00:00:33.624 --> 00:00:38.345 Actually, I've got a five-part series in my brain and I think it'll be five parts. 00:00:38.345 --> 00:00:39.228 We'll see. 00:00:39.771 --> 00:00:44.570 But I want to talk with you about rites of passage and the five predominant messages that are kind of baked into you. 00:00:44.570 --> 00:00:52.493 About rites of passage and the five predominant messages that are kind of baked into almost all rites of passages across time and across geography and space and history. 00:00:52.493 --> 00:01:05.489 And, um, but several years ago I was at a youth conference in Minneapolis area and this crew came out from Fuller they were a part of the Fuller Theological Family and Youth Ministry Department and they did like a conference on youth ministry. 00:01:05.489 --> 00:01:08.269 It was back when I was doing youth ministry and it was awesome. 00:01:08.269 --> 00:01:21.965 And one of the guys I forget his name he mentioned in an offhanded way how in the Western world we have this absence of rituals or rites of passage and it caught my attention because, like what is he talking about? 00:01:21.965 --> 00:01:26.551 And so I went up to him afterwards and we chatted for like a long time and I just picked his brain. 00:01:26.551 --> 00:01:27.796 I love the things he was saying. 00:01:27.796 --> 00:01:29.864 I'm going to write a passage in case you don't know. 00:01:29.864 --> 00:01:30.945 What is Ryan talking about? 00:01:31.888 --> 00:01:37.349 It's this thing that's been prevalent in tribal cultures for a long, long time. 00:01:37.349 --> 00:01:49.213 It's this ritual or event, usually in the life of a young person that kind of marks a significant life change or milestone in the life of a young person, or even not just young people, but it's sort of all throughout life. 00:01:49.213 --> 00:01:50.462 It could be any kind of milestone. 00:01:50.462 --> 00:01:54.411 And it's when you create an event or a ritual, an experience around. 00:01:54.411 --> 00:01:56.905 That Could be childbirth, could be puberty, marriage, death. 00:01:56.905 --> 00:01:59.271 There are all kinds of rites of passage. 00:01:59.271 --> 00:02:01.905 It's a ritual that marks a passing of the time. 00:02:01.905 --> 00:02:03.769 That's why it's called the rite of passage. 00:02:04.191 --> 00:02:35.985 And in the Western world, whereas in most places around the world and throughout history, these cultures have a time and a place when, specifically when kids are around the age of around 12, 13, maybe even a bit earlier than that, they have this thing where they take the kid usually out of the community, oftentimes into wild places or places where they're alone or these kinds of things, and then they come back after a certain amount of time and then they're told hey, you're no longer a young person, you're now an adult. 00:02:35.985 --> 00:02:45.722 And they come back into the community, so the community absorbs them back into this larger system and they begin to then behave and function in ways that are are empirically different. 00:02:45.722 --> 00:02:54.415 So they no longer behave like a kid, they're given tasks to perform that only adults can perform and they're that's like hey, you're no longer that, you're now this. 00:02:54.415 --> 00:02:56.102 It's this beautiful marking of time. 00:02:56.102 --> 00:02:57.264 And so kids get. 00:02:57.264 --> 00:03:09.231 And then, while they're out there, by and large, there are these five messages that these young people get in order to come back and have sort of this wisdom and insight of what it means to be a full, flourishing. 00:03:09.231 --> 00:03:13.425 They're not quite there yet, but they're on their way to becoming a full, flourishing adult. 00:03:13.926 --> 00:03:18.245 And it was incredible, because I'm like, yeah, this is glaringly absent from the Western world. 00:03:18.245 --> 00:03:21.901 And in America I, for example, never had any kind of rite of passage as a young boy. 00:03:21.901 --> 00:03:27.052 I mean, I think I got my driver's license and that was celebrated by I went and drove around. 00:03:27.052 --> 00:03:38.051 Or when you turn 21, we have this cultural one where people go out and they go to the bar and they get drunk and these are not really meaningful or rooted rites of passages. 00:03:38.051 --> 00:03:42.044 It isn't like it's a great thing to go out and get drunk with your buddies when you're 21. 00:03:42.044 --> 00:03:48.909 You don't get any kind of profound messaging from that, but they're absent from the Western world and it's a problem. 00:03:48.909 --> 00:04:04.513 So Joseph Campbell was once asked what happens when there's no rites of passages in our cultures and his answer was well, we get the news of the day youngsters not knowing how to act in a civilized manner, because what you're left with is a self-rendered initiation. 00:04:04.513 --> 00:04:17.228 In other words, what he's saying is that kids who, without a communal rite of passage, grow up without knowing how to behave as adults, because no one's taught them, they often will initiate themselves. 00:04:17.228 --> 00:04:29.076 So again you have things like let's go out and get drunk at the bars, which it doesn't really help them assimilate into adulthood, and so you have this self-initiation which young people take on, and it's not their fault. 00:04:29.257 --> 00:04:31.101 I would say it's the community's fault. 00:04:31.101 --> 00:04:39.774 We've let these things go, and I would argue we need to bring them back and try to find a way to recreate them for our youth today. 00:04:39.774 --> 00:04:42.230 So if you come to Central, we kind of have these in part. 00:04:42.230 --> 00:04:49.341 We have several rites of passages, whether it's third grade Bible reading class that we do, we try to make that this really great ritual and experience. 00:04:49.341 --> 00:04:54.728 We have fifth grade first communion and these kinds of things, but anyway, here's the deal. 00:04:54.728 --> 00:04:59.774 So I'm doing a doctorate of ministry at Fuller myself now. 00:04:59.774 --> 00:05:01.747 I'm actually right at the end I'm writing my thesis. 00:05:01.786 --> 00:05:16.428 My thesis is on trying to recapture these ancient rites of passages and a theology of ritual, why it's important and how we can, as a church, adopt some more I don't know modern versions of a rite of passage and why they're important for our young people. 00:05:16.428 --> 00:05:18.387 And it begins with this community. 00:05:18.387 --> 00:05:32.081 How can we make space where the community sends the young person out with our blessing and out there, wherever out there is, they are exposed to these deep, mysterious truths about the universe, which I'll go through in a minute. 00:05:32.081 --> 00:05:39.247 And then they come back and they're told hey, now you're this, you know you're an adult now and here's kind of what it's like to be an adult. 00:05:39.247 --> 00:05:40.687 We help them as their community. 00:05:40.687 --> 00:05:42.069 Okay, so there are. 00:05:43.069 --> 00:05:52.697 Researchers have found there are five predominant messages that are present in most of these cultures cultural rites of passage around the globe and throughout time and I'm going to give you one each week. 00:05:52.697 --> 00:05:53.517 Here's the first one. 00:05:53.517 --> 00:05:57.350 So these young men and women go out of the community, they go into the wild. 00:05:57.350 --> 00:06:08.572 Generally they come back, but while they're out there, one of the embodied truths that they learn while they're out there, one of them, the first one, is this life is hard. 00:06:08.572 --> 00:06:13.596 This is just the way that life is, which is hilarious to me because I'm a parent. 00:06:13.596 --> 00:06:14.279 I've got four kids. 00:06:14.661 --> 00:06:32.661 When your kids are little, parents do everything they can to make life easy for their children, from putting those little bumper pads in the corners of furniture, locking cupboard doors, sanitizing the pacifier three, four, five times because it fell on the floor which are great things, I mean. 00:06:32.661 --> 00:06:33.805 You keep the kid alive, for sure. 00:06:33.805 --> 00:06:41.514 But as they get older, we do very little to let the kid encounter this idea that life is hard. 00:06:41.514 --> 00:06:45.543 And we think we're doing the kid a favor by making life easy for them and in some ways we are. 00:06:45.543 --> 00:06:47.867 Of course, I mean again, don't let the kid die. 00:06:47.867 --> 00:06:56.535 But in many ways we're actually not helping the kid by not exposing them to this deep truth that life is hard. 00:06:56.535 --> 00:07:02.353 Kids need to hear the message that hey, listen, life is hard, it just is, it's how it is. 00:07:02.819 --> 00:07:09.254 Life involves pain and suffering, disappointment, struggle and general discomfort. 00:07:09.254 --> 00:07:14.725 Now, and the question then is like, okay, that's the truth, so now what? 00:07:14.725 --> 00:07:16.442 And so there's this great writer. 00:07:16.442 --> 00:07:17.545 He's a Franciscan priest. 00:07:17.545 --> 00:07:21.622 He writes this about these rites of passages and this idea that life is hard. 00:07:21.622 --> 00:07:26.180 He says, hey, listen, all great spirituality is about what we do with our pain. 00:07:26.923 --> 00:07:38.494 So the first lesson of initiation was to teach the young man or woman, in this case, not to run from pain and, in fact, to not not to get rid of any pain until he's first learned its lessons. 00:07:38.494 --> 00:07:48.290 Because here's the truth, as I mentioned in the dragon podcast a few weeks ago or whenever, that was embedded in our pain is often a message that we can learn from. 00:07:48.290 --> 00:07:50.302 So look, life is hard, that's just how. 00:07:50.302 --> 00:07:52.449 I'm sorry, it just is, that's how it goes. 00:07:52.449 --> 00:08:06.050 And embedded within this struggle and tension, discomfort or even pain or suffering, there's a lesson that can be learned, that can develop us as young men and women, that can deepen our character, our fortitude, our grace, our empathy in the world. 00:08:06.050 --> 00:08:17.906 And in these initiation ceremonies we find this universal presence of an emphasis on struggle physical struggle, emotional, social when the young man or woman, the initiate is out in the wild. 00:08:17.906 --> 00:08:21.954 They're encountering, in an embodied way, this idea that man, life is hard. 00:08:22.699 --> 00:08:36.648 And unfortunately, our modern obsession and drive to avoid pain or to numb pain or disengage from pain does us a deep disservice because we never understand the value of looking deep within our pain for what the message might be in there. 00:08:36.648 --> 00:08:41.912 So I think the question and I'll end here and we'll do the next four in the next following four weeks. 00:08:41.912 --> 00:08:43.144 I'll unpack them a bit more. 00:08:43.144 --> 00:08:45.706 But listen, life is hard. 00:08:45.706 --> 00:08:47.370 So now what? 00:08:47.370 --> 00:08:52.471 What might our pain or our struggle or our tension teach us if we listen to it? 00:08:52.471 --> 00:08:56.491 And any time this week, whatever you're doing, if you encounter pain or our struggle or our tension, teach us if we listen to it. 00:08:56.511 --> 00:09:03.792 And anytime this week, whatever you're doing, if you encounter pain or discomfort or sadness, I would encourage you hey, stay with that emotion or that feeling just for a bit. 00:09:03.792 --> 00:09:11.750 Now, if you cut your finger off with a buzzsaw, don't stay with that pain, I don't mean that, but obviously other kinds of pain or discomfort. 00:09:11.750 --> 00:09:14.207 What might the message be in that? 00:09:14.207 --> 00:09:15.284 What might it reveal to you? 00:09:15.284 --> 00:09:27.128 Because at least part of the point of life is to be conscious and to be awake and to be alert, to be present with our feelings, our emotions and life as it is, not life as we wish it to be. 00:09:27.128 --> 00:09:28.652 So life is hard. 00:09:28.652 --> 00:09:29.842 That's the simple fact of life. 00:09:30.566 --> 00:09:31.047 And now what? 00:09:31.047 --> 00:09:32.150 What will you do with it? 00:09:32.150 --> 00:09:33.865 What will you do with your pain? 00:09:33.865 --> 00:09:43.552 What is your pain or your discomfort trying to tell you, how can it grow you and mature you into a deeper sort of more loving human being, and adult in this case? 00:09:43.552 --> 00:09:49.129 Okay, I'd love to hear your thoughts, let me know what you think and then come back next week as we unpack number two. 00:09:49.129 --> 00:09:51.408 But number one is life is hard. 00:09:51.408 --> 00:09:53.961 All right, number two, but number one is life is hard. 00:09:53.961 --> 00:09:57.125 All right, bless you, peace. 00:09:57.125 --> 00:09:59.407 Hey, if you enjoy this show, I'd love to have you share it with some friends. 00:09:59.407 --> 00:10:15.764 And don't forget, you are always welcome to join us in person at Central in Elk River at 830, which is our liturgical gathering, or 10 o'clock, our modern gathering, or you can check us out online at clcelkriverorg Peace.