Speaker 1: What is up everybody?
Speaker 1: Welcome to our Reflections podcast.
Speaker 1: This is Ryan.
Speaker 1: Hey, normally I'm coming to you from Mike's Beats Laboratory or Mike's Beats Lab it's what we call the sound room where we record our podcast.
Speaker 1: But today I'm actually coming to you from my car.
Speaker 1: I had to squeeze this in between a couple of appointments and, yeah, I had something I was thinking about that happened to me just a couple of days ago.
Speaker 1: I wanted to share with you guys and yeah, so I was in Washington DC for four days with my daughter's middle school class, with Vandenberg.
Speaker 1: It was awesome.
Speaker 1: Got to see all the sites and kind of like just go in depth in some of our American history.
Speaker 1: I loved it, it was awesome.
Speaker 1: And then, on the way back, you know, I love, I love being gone.
Speaker 1: It's always exciting and adventure, but I love coming home.
Speaker 1: And I was calling my wife.
Speaker 1: I was coming back in the Baltimore airport.
Speaker 1: I was going to call Katie and you know I've been gone for four days.
Speaker 1: I'm sure, undoubtedly by this point, she has missed me.
Speaker 1: You know so much that when she answers this phone call I'm about to make, I expect to hear the sound of angels singing.
Speaker 1: She's going to roll up the red carpet for me.
Speaker 1: There's going to be pomp and circumstance.
Speaker 1: You know she'll have a crumble cookie waiting for me when I get home.
Speaker 1: She's so excited to see me that I mean she's missed me so deeply and all week long she's just thought about nothing but me.
Speaker 1: And so I call her on the phone.
Speaker 1: And you know, I'm guessing probably my expectations were just a tad high.
Speaker 1: So I call her on the phone and expect to kind of hear all this joy and overwhelming deep gladness that I'm on the phone with her and this moment.
Speaker 1: Cause I've been gone for four days and and yeah, I'm just going to tell you that that's not what happened.
Speaker 1: She was like neck deep busy in a bunch of things for our son's grad party coming up this week of a son graduating, which is making her feel all these emotions and and and so she was like doing all these projects and tasks and chores and she'd been busy all week.
Speaker 1: So when I got her on the phone I had all this time.
Speaker 1: I was waiting for my flight, I was ready to see her.
Speaker 1: She was very distracted and I was a bit irritated Like where is the angel singing?
Speaker 1: Where is the overwhelming joy and gladness?
Speaker 1: I've been gone for four days, why aren't you so excited?
Speaker 1: And immediately I began, I think in my brain, uh, to go down this rabbit hole of like, well, gosh, she must not like me very much.
Speaker 1: She's not excited to have me coming home.
Speaker 1: Maybe she doesn't even care if I do come home, like, maybe, maybe she's just doesn't even love me that much.
Speaker 1: You know, and it's funny now, but in the moment you know how you immediately begin to make meaning about something that happened to you in that moment that could not be further from the truth a lot of times.
Speaker 1: And so she was like oh, you sound irritated, I go, I am irritated, I go.
Speaker 1: And then I sort of had enough of a level ahead in that moment to just say you know, actually it hurt my feelings that you aren't as excited as I was hoping you would be, you know.
Speaker 1: And, like I said, it's funny now.
Speaker 1: And in the moment I was like, man, this is like a bummer.
Speaker 1: And she's like, oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean that at all, I am excited for you to come home.
Speaker 1: And then we had this moment where we could kind of reconcile and kind of repair what it was that happened, because in the end I did not mean to do that, I'm just distracted.
Speaker 1: I've got eight things going on.
Speaker 1: The kids are running around.
Speaker 1: I mean, our kids are older but they're still.
Speaker 1: You know, they got things they got to do and.
Speaker 1: But my reaction was to make this, to interpret it in this very specific way, and it reminded me of how deeply important it is to not immediately assign meaning to things that happen in our lives.
Speaker 1: So another example is if I'm in traffic and somebody cuts me off, my temptation can be like, immediately assume that guy's a jerk, he did it on purpose, he's trying to get me, he's trying to make me late for my appointment.
Speaker 1: What a, what a absolute selfish jerk that guy is.
Speaker 1: And like so what I'm doing is I'm immediately making meaning of what happened in the moment.
Speaker 1: And I have zero data, really have very little data to make that interpretation.
Speaker 1: But I do it anyway because it's's easy and it sort of serves my own, you know, preconceived ideas.
Speaker 1: But probably and I'd be better to assume the guy just probably didn't see me he maybe he's like you know, he's got, you know, I don't know, he's got a lot of things in his mind.
Speaker 1: He's distracted.
Speaker 1: Maybe he has, he's not.
Speaker 1: His eyesight isn't great, which is a problem, but why do I assume immediately I give the meaning to that moment that he just is a jerk, doesn't see me, he's out to get me, and so, anyway, I just want to remind all of us that we would do well in life to take time to assign meaning to things, to not pick up interpretations, you know, with very little data, and just assume certain things to be true, but to let things marinate, let them slowly percolate in our lives and even give it some time and before we pick up offenses or again assign meaning, but just to take time to do these kinds of things and then also, then, to communicate hey, I think what happened here was X, y and Z and allow the other person to like no, actually, what happened here was A, b and allow the other person to like no, actually, what happened here was a, b and c, and uh, we can build, you know, better lines of communication and deepen our relationships.
Speaker 1: And so the encouragement today, I think the invitation, is for us to just slow down and not to assign meaning or assume things of people that we just really, really can't do, and to assume that the saying goes assume ignorance over malevolence to assume that my wife is just distracted to try to see her and view her in the best light, rather than think she doesn't love me anymore.
Speaker 1: This is all I can't believe.
Speaker 1: You know what I mean.
Speaker 1: And so just the importance of meaning making and to slow down and take time to do those kinds of things and not just jump to conclusions.
Speaker 1: So, all right, hey, love you guys, and may you take time to do those kinds of things and not just jump to conclusions.
Speaker 1: So, all right, hey, love you guys, and may you take time today to interpret other people's behaviors and actions in the best possible light.
Speaker 1: May you slow down in giving meaning to things and to interpret things and slow down on picking up offenses or slight these kinds of things.
Speaker 1: May you love life.
Speaker 1: All right, love you guys.
Speaker 1: Peace.
Speaker 2: Hey, if you enjoy this show, I'd love to have you share it with some friends.
Speaker 2: And don't forget, you are always welcome to join us in person at Central in Elk River at 830, which is our liturgical gathering, or 10 o'clock, our modern gathering, or you can check us out online at clcelkriverorg Peace.