SPEAKER_00: What is up everybody?
SPEAKER_00: Hey, this is Brian and welcome to our Reflections podcast.
SPEAKER_00: Hey, something something interesting happened to me last weekend, and I want to tell you about it.
SPEAKER_00: And uh yeah, I was in Denver.
SPEAKER_00: I went to the Broncos game.
SPEAKER_00: If you don't know anything about football, there's a team called the Denver Broncos, the greatest team of of uh in NFL history.
SPEAKER_00: Uh don't at me, it's true.
SPEAKER_00: And uh they were in the playoffs against this team called the Buffalo Bills.
SPEAKER_00: And if you do know football, you're like, yeah, Ryan, we know.
SPEAKER_00: But anyway, they I was there at the stadium, and it was a playoff game, super intense.
SPEAKER_00: The crowd in it's called Mile High Stadium, absolutely electric and bonkers.
SPEAKER_00: It was unbelievable.
SPEAKER_00: But here's the thing: some of these fan bases, they travel, you know.
SPEAKER_00: Like so there were some Buffalo Bill fans at the game.
SPEAKER_00: And here's what happened that was super interesting.
SPEAKER_00: I should preface it by saying I am a longtime Denver Broncos fan.
SPEAKER_00: I grew up watching them during the John Elway era, if that means anything to anybody.
SPEAKER_00: He was a great quarterback, suffered three devastating losses back in the 80s, and it was just I was a kid, so it was like extra devastating for me.
SPEAKER_00: And then in the 90s, we finally won two.
SPEAKER_00: It was incredible.
SPEAKER_00: It was like the highlight of my high school, not really, but in the high school, you know, I loved it.
SPEAKER_00: It was awesome.
SPEAKER_00: And so anyway, my point is I'm I'm like a diehard.
SPEAKER_00: I love the Broncos.
SPEAKER_00: Of course, I realize that it's just football, and I'm not, I don't, um, I was probably more diehard when I was younger.
SPEAKER_00: Now I'm like 46 and I don't really but I love it.
SPEAKER_00: I like to watch it.
SPEAKER_00: My son Logan loves it now.
SPEAKER_00: And so there's that.
SPEAKER_00: And you know, football is sort of like tribalism, writ large, or like, or like a pseudonym or like a pseudo uh tribalism.
SPEAKER_00: Like, I mean, we gather at this sort of Colosseum, you know, and we all have our tribal colors and all tribal chants, and we you know, we cheer on these warriors down on the field that are like battling on behalf of our tribe.
SPEAKER_00: And so you do get this sense of like us versus them.
SPEAKER_00: And I noticed this this Buffalo Bills fan came in, sat in our row, and was four people away from me, and immediately starts jauning, which is not like a Buffalo Bills fan, you know, that's not really how they're kind of made up.
SPEAKER_00: If it was a Philly fan, that's a bit different, but but Buffalo Bill fans are pretty chill.
SPEAKER_00: But this guy was not, he was chirping and jawing, and uh, and and then also at the hotel I was staying at, there was a group of them, and like they were they were pretty cool, but they were chirping and kind of jawing a bit, you know.
SPEAKER_00: And and here's what I noticed in me.
SPEAKER_00: I felt something in me that I have not felt in a very long time, and it was this sort of like this tribal response, or something deep within myself like rose up and was like upset and like this low grade boil that started to happen inside of me.
SPEAKER_00: Like this, like I was angry at this guy a couple of seats away.
SPEAKER_00: These guys that were at my hotel, I was kind of I had this sense of like, how dare you come into my house, into my city, and talk about my team, my tribe, you know?
SPEAKER_00: And now it's funny, it was like a week ago, and now I'm like, this is ridiculous.
SPEAKER_00: What are you doing?
SPEAKER_00: But I noticed in this moment, like this absolute tribal response where I didn't even know this guy.
SPEAKER_00: I probably would have had a you know a coffee with him or a drink with him the next day or that night, even if I didn't know he was a Bills fan.
SPEAKER_00: And the same.
SPEAKER_00: I mean, he would have probably been chill with me.
SPEAKER_00: And these other guys, actually, after the Broncos won, of course, we won, uh, the next morning I saw those Buffalo Bills fans, and I was sort of feeling bad about this, you know, sort of sense of tribalism in me.
SPEAKER_00: The next morning I went over and I was talking to him, I go, hey, I come in peace.
SPEAKER_00: I wanted to just chat with those guys and wish them well.
SPEAKER_00: They were, of course, in, you know, drowning in their sorrows.
SPEAKER_00: Or but anyway, I I I noticed that this old, I call him old Ryan, was sort of rising up out of the, out of the grave or out of the ashes, or from the dead and began to kind of take over.
SPEAKER_00: Now I didn't fight anybody, I didn't like yell and scream, I didn't swear, I didn't do anything that was actually, you know, unbecoming, but I felt it inside.
SPEAKER_00: And when I was younger, if you didn't know me back in the day, I was a, you might say, me and my buddies, I mean, I all these a lot of high school guys that we, you know, back in the day, we were like master trash talkers.
SPEAKER_00: I was an athlete in high school, I played lacrosse.
SPEAKER_00: Lacrosse is an old war game, and I used to tell the I was a defenseman, I used to tell the guy I was guarding.
SPEAKER_00: They'd always try to like talk to me and become friends.
SPEAKER_00: And I would tell them, don't talk to me.
SPEAKER_00: We ain't friends.
SPEAKER_00: We'll be friends after the game.
SPEAKER_00: You know, I was like a real tough guy, you know.
SPEAKER_00: And that's who I was.
SPEAKER_00: Like that's how a lot of us were.
SPEAKER_00: And we we we walked around, thought we were tough, we were big time talkers.
SPEAKER_00: And um, it's it's odd that now I I use my maybe you can call it a communication gift.
SPEAKER_00: Like I think trash talking is a g is a gift, it's like a the ability to kind of put words together and and like make somebody feel bad.
SPEAKER_00: You can use those that same gift to kind of encourage folks.
SPEAKER_00: And I am an encourager, so it's kind of odd how when I was younger, I used it for this, you know, to smack talk or to tear people down, and now I use it to encourage and to build up.
SPEAKER_00: But anyway, that's another podcast episode for another day.
SPEAKER_00: But but that's who I was when I was younger.
SPEAKER_00: Like the old Ryan was like just you know, could be cutting with his words, um, was very tribalistic in terms of you know, my friend group or on the athletic field was a big tough guy, you know.
SPEAKER_00: And now I'm older, look, I'm a Christian, you know, I'm trying to follow, I'm genuinely trying to follow Jesus, do the right thing, be a good human, like allow the spirit to renew my mind and my heart and ask God daily for like, hey, give me a heart of flesh where my heart has grown, you know, to become stone.
SPEAKER_00: But I'll tell you what, every now and again I notice the old Ryan kind of come up out of the ashes, you know, and I'm like, oh hey, hey man.
SPEAKER_00: And I'm I'm sort of surprised because you're like, oh, I look, I'm I'm 46, I'm a lead pastor of a pretty good sized church.
SPEAKER_00: I've got this all figured out, you know.
SPEAKER_00: But I don't.
SPEAKER_00: I really don't, you know, he's still in there.
SPEAKER_00: And I it made me think about like, you know, Paul writes on a number of occasions about he calls it the old self, the old Adam or the flesh.
SPEAKER_00: You know, there's this verse in Ephesians where Paul says, Hey, put on, uh put off the old self.
SPEAKER_00: And it's like almost this idea of like a jacket you put on and take off.
SPEAKER_00: He says, Take off the old self, um, which belongs to your former way of life, the old way of life.
SPEAKER_00: That's no longer who you are anymore.
SPEAKER_00: So take it off and put on the new self, this created self in the image and likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness, as Ephesians 4.
SPEAKER_00: So Paul's like, hey, you had this old way of being in the world, and fair enough.
SPEAKER_00: But it was like a jacket you are.
SPEAKER_00: It wasn't who you really are.
SPEAKER_00: It's like this, it's like the old self that sort of belongs to the old, the former way of life.
SPEAKER_00: So take it off, dude, and put on the new self.
SPEAKER_00: And uh man, those words really ring true to me because at this game, I could feel the old self kind of creeping back up and wanting.
SPEAKER_00: Now, again, I'm not I wasn't gonna fight anybody or get arrested by, you know, for scuffling with some dude at a football game.
SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm 46, like, come on.
SPEAKER_00: We we gotta be better than that, you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_00: And I wasn't gonna like, you know, get into it with these guys at a at a hotel.
SPEAKER_00: One, they outnumbered me.
SPEAKER_00: I was not gonna, you know, uh, but really, I'm like, I I know, I think I know better.
SPEAKER_00: I can control my actions.
SPEAKER_00: But what was most troubling to me was like that, man, he was still in there.
SPEAKER_00: He's like, I thought I crucified that guy.
SPEAKER_00: No, he's still down there.
SPEAKER_00: And so I would say this um this morning, when you feel the old Adam or the old Eve kind of creeping back up, just know he's in there.
SPEAKER_00: She's down there.
SPEAKER_00: And you know, we live in this in-between time, like after the resurrection, where our sins are covered by this, the forgiveness that Jesus offers on the cross once and for all, you know.
SPEAKER_00: And Paul writes, we are no longer the old self.
SPEAKER_00: But man, that old self dies hard.
SPEAKER_00: And until the, you know, the day of the age to come or when things are finally cemented and the kingdom of God comes on earth fully as it is in heaven, like there is this in-between liminal space where like I'm no longer a slave to my sins, but I kind of am, you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_00: The old Adam is he's been crucified with Christ.
SPEAKER_00: It's no longer he who lives, but Christ and me.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but he's still kind of like, he's still down there, and he wants to grab the controls every now and again.
SPEAKER_00: And I can't let him.
SPEAKER_00: I can't let him, you know, by the power of the spirit, of course.
SPEAKER_00: I mean, but like I can't let him do it.
SPEAKER_00: And uh so what I do is I try not to beat myself up, but just recognize, oh, hey man, I see you down there.
SPEAKER_00: And I go and tell somebody, I like I called my buddy Corey, he's like my great friend, and I was like, hey, dude, I just want to tell you what happened to me last night.
SPEAKER_00: And again, there's no headlines, I didn't do anything, but like I just am aware he's down there, and I told my friend, like, and I just try to like confess it and let that thing go and zoom back out, like, hey, in the grand scheme of life.
SPEAKER_00: This is ridiculous.
SPEAKER_00: What are you doing, Ryan?
SPEAKER_00: And save myself from myself, or allow the spirit to come and save me from myself.
SPEAKER_00: So if the old Adam and Eve is down there, like recognize them, say, hey, I see you.
SPEAKER_00: Um, you can't drive because you'll crash every time.
SPEAKER_00: And uh, you know, confess it and you know, and ask the spirit to come in and renew you, and then take off the old stuff that belongs to the former life.
SPEAKER_00: That's not who you are anymore.
SPEAKER_00: You know, we want to get that old comfortable coat back up, but it's no longer who you are anymore.
SPEAKER_00: Put that away and put on the new self that is in Christ.
SPEAKER_00: Okay, love you guys, be good.
SPEAKER_00: Hey, if you enjoy this show, I'd love to have you share it with some friends.
SPEAKER_00: And don't forget, you are always welcome to join us in person at Central in Elk River at 8 30, which is our liturgical gathering, or at 10 o'clock, our modern gathering.
SPEAKER_00: Or you can check us out online at clcelkriver.org.
SPEAKER_00: Peace.