Central Lutheran Church - Elk River

Spiritual but Not Religious? {Reflections}

Central Lutheran Church

Ever caught yourself nodding along when someone says, "I'm spiritual but not religious"? This reflexive distinction has become commonplace in our culture, but what are we really saying when we make this claim?

Ryan dives deep into this modern spiritual paradigm, examining how many people approach faith like a buffet—selecting appealing elements while leaving behind anything that causes discomfort or demands sacrifice. While the desire to build a meaningful spiritual life is admirable, this à la carte approach might inadvertently filter out the very elements that foster profound personal transformation.

Through a vulnerable personal story of betrayal and forgiveness, Ryan illustrates how the most challenging aspects of faith—dying to self, loving enemies, blessing persecutors—became his pathway to growth. When a close friend spread damaging lies about him, every natural instinct screamed for revenge. Instead, his religious commitment demanded forgiveness. "It felt like death," he shares, "but it was a death that leads to resurrection." This raw experience demonstrates why tethering ourselves to something greater than our preferences—the true meaning of "religion" from the Latin religio—can lead to a more flourishing human experience.

As we approach our milestone 100th episode, this reflection challenges listeners to consider: Are we gravitating only toward comfortable spiritual teachings? What transformation might we find in embracing the difficult, counter-cultural elements of faith tradition? Rather than viewing religious commitment as restrictive, could it instead provide the framework for authentic spiritual growth that transcends our natural inclinations? Join us as we explore why being "tied to something deeper" might be exactly what our souls need.

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Speaker 1:

What is up everybody? Hey, it's Ryan here and welcome to our Reflections podcast. We are getting closer to episode 100. So I don't know about you, but I'm excited and we'll do something special for that one.

Speaker 1:

But today, you know, I was talking with a guy a couple actually, a few months ago now, and he was in my office and he was like hey, I just want to tell you, ryan, that I'm spiritual but I'm not really a religious guy. And he was sort of expressing this sentiment that many people today say and it's that exact verbage is like hey, I'm a spiritual person but I'm not really religious. And so he's like that's why I don't come to church. I don't really ascribe to all the same things you do, but I'm very spiritual. And what I think I find is that most folks with that kind of sentiment, what they're doing is they're kind of going around and sort of curating this spiritual life by choosing a little bit of this from over here and a little bit of that from over there and from all these traditions and these sort of faith streams, be it Christian or otherwise, and they're kind of compiling together this sort of composite faith and I think the impetus or the longing or like the desire to do that is actually really good, like they're really kind of trying to build this spiritual life. But I think here's the problem with that is that for me, I know that if I were to do that, you know, if I were to kind of go and approach my faith as though I was at like some kind of a spiritual buffet and like choose a bit of this and choose a bit of that, I would probably leave the parts of the faith or of the spiritual life that I didn't like, the parts that cause discomfort, like in the Jesus story, the parts about like dying to yourself or taking up your cross or forgiving my enemies, any of the hard parts, like putting me second. You know, blessed are the poor and the weak. You know, washing my friends, washing the feet of the world, those kind of things are very difficult and they cause all kinds of discomfort and pain. I don't always agree with them, even in sort of myself, and so I would probably leave those parts behind and take all the other parts that are a lot more, you know, palatable or they taste better and they smell better. I would take just the good parts. But here's the thing, though, if I did that, you know I would be leaving out all the parts of my faith that actually transform me and have the power to change me from the inside out, like this. Dying to myself is that that's what changes me. Loving my enemies softens my heart, blessing those who persecute me that actually makes me a better person. And choosing the way of the cross, over the way of glory, every time makes me a better person. That's actually what forms me and shapes me, and so I tell folks I get it. I get it. So here's where things really begin to kind of hit home for me.

Speaker 1:

A couple of years ago I had this falling out with a close friend and this close friend I found out had betrayed me in this incredibly intense way. And this friend of mine was actually out in the community spreading lies about me and it was wild. And somebody heard it and then came back and told me and when they told me I was like there's no way. There's no way that this person is doing that, these incredibly audacious and totally false lies about me, and there's no way. And so I confronted this close friend of mine. I was like hey, is this true? And when I confronted them, the person just uh, broke down crying and it's like, yeah, that's true and there's all kinds of reasons why this person was doing that and uh, you know, uh, but in that moment this person was like I'm so sorry and kind of, uh, we kind of hashed things out and I left that meeting just still like like what whirling, you know? I mean, I was still like just spiraling, like how could this person have done that? I was so mad, I was so angry, I was betrayed, like the bottom had kind of fallen out and it was unbelievable.

Speaker 1:

And, um, but, and everything in me wanted to like no, I'm not going to forgive this person. I want to like string them up, I want to post about them on Facebook, I want to like tell everybody like here's the truth about this person and this person's like a total, you know but but I'm like I can't do that because Jesus uh says no, don't do that. Like offer forgiveness and of course here forgiveness does not mean like just take it and like have no accountability and be, you know, be spineless he doesn't mean that but like really genuinely offer forgiveness and give them, you know, the like, let them go and let me deal with them. Jesus would say, but nothing in me wanted to let this person go and be entrusted into God's care. I wanted the exact justice and vengeance you know what I mean, but I couldn't.

Speaker 1:

No, the tradition I'm a part of, the Christian faith doesn't allow me to do that, and it felt like death, because offering forgiveness and like letting others off the hook and entrusting them into God's care feels like death. I have to let go of my own control, and like my own, you know, I wanted to go out into the world and like spread like no, what this person said was false, it was wrong, but I'm like, I'm not going to do that because the faith that I belong to says don't do that, let God sort it out. And so I did, but it felt like death. But I think, like Tim Keller says, though, it was a kind of death, but a death that leads to resurrection. So I get it, but for me it's like no, I want to choose something very specific, in this case the Jesus tradition that looks like this self-sacrificial death on the cross, and I want to tie myself to it.

Speaker 1:

The word religion or religio really means just to tie yourself or to tether yourself to something, and in this case. I've done that with the Christian story, the Jesus story, because I know that that's what makes me a more flourishing human being, rather than the guy who just sort of picks all the delicious parts of the buffet. I'm choosing these other things as well that come with it. So today, may you have a deep sense of being tied to something that's deeper than your own self and your own sort of choosing, and maybe tethered and religious about the right things that bring life and human flourishing. All right, love you guys, peace. Hey, if you enjoy this show, I'd love to have you share it with some friends. And don't forget, you are always welcome to join us in person at Central in Elk River, at 830, which is our liturgical gathering, or at 10 o'clock, our modern gathering, or you can check us out online at clcelkriverorg Peace.

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