Ep-64: The St. Patrick’s Day Episode | 20 Topics in 20 Minutes

Welcome back, Demon Babies! This week your hosts are diving headfirst into the chaos that is St. Patrick’s Day. Green outfits, questionable decisions before noon, crowded bars, plastic shamrocks, and the one day of the year everyone suddenly claims to be Irish. From parades to pub crawls to the very specific energy of day drinking in March, we’re breaking down everything that makes this holiday both iconic and slightly concerning. And yes… all in 20 topics in 20 minutes.

Whether you celebrate responsibly or treat it like a competitive sport, St. Patrick’s Day has its own culture. The outfits get greener, the drinks get stronger, and the stories somehow get worse every year. We’re talking party strategies, bar etiquette, festive traditions, and the unspoken rules of surviving a holiday that starts before lunch.

Expect hot takes, drinking confessions, holiday chaos, and a full breakdown of why St. Patrick’s Day is either the best day of the year or a mistake you remember for the next twelve months.

If you’re new here, Demon Babie is your weekly comedy podcast where we rapid-fire 20 bite-sized topics in just 20 minutes: pop culture, relationships, life spirals, and whatever else we can cram into a caffeine-fueled countdown.

Listen for:
🍀 St. Patrick’s Day party strategies
🍀 Pub crawls, parades, and green outfit crimes
🍀 The best drinks and worst decisions
🍀 Stories that should probably stay off the internet
🍀 The fastest, funniest, most chaotic 20 minutes of your week

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Transcript

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Welcome to another episode of the Demon Babie podcast. I'm your host, Joey Lombardo, AKA Demon of Hollywood. And I'm sitting here with my lucky little leprechaun lady, Blonde Babie, AKA Emma Nilsson. We go by short names here, long names and nicknames. All names, but I'm a lucky little lass. Cause I get to sit here with my fiance. I was going to say a lucky little leprechaun. But last feels very like Irish. You're short though. Well, you don't, last is Irish I guess. Yeah. Leprechaun out Irish is last though. I feel like they're on par. You're a real rainbow chaser. Yeah. Real gold digger. Always have been, always will be. Some things are just. Some things are too ingrained in our DNA. Are you Irish? I am on my mom's side. Wow. Yeah. She'd tell you orange Irish, but nobody actually cares about that. Well, no. Kiss me, I'm Irish. Okay, there you go. Well. On this episode of The Inventor on Us, we take 20 topics and cut it up into 20 minutes. And today's topic is Saint Patrick's Day! Boom, as you can tell by our shirts, and welcome to the episode. Boom! Woah. Woah! Technical difficulties. Sometimes it's hard to get up. Well, how are you? Horrible. What? Terrible. Why? I feel ugly. I hate that. I overate today. Oh no, what'd you eat today? I had, I tried the Chick fil A, 30 piece, grilled, chicken nugget. So we've been watching this like, bodybuilding YouTuber guy, and he said that was his favorite healthy fast food. How was it? It was terrible. Terrible? I hated it. What was so bad about it? It felt bad after. Did you eat all of it? I ate the whole thing. 30 pieces. Yeah. First of all, it's not even like 30 like, they're like, oh, it's 32. It's like breast cut up shitty. It looks like you put it in a Slap Chop. Oh. Yeah. They probably did. No, I don't think they're Slap Chopping back there. They probably are. I don't think Slap Chop's and burning back there. Not a Slap Chop. Okay. They have other ways, I'm sure. You're right. It's a Michelin star place. I'm sure they put it into a paper shredder and they just put it through. Maybe. Uh, yeah, but it's terrible. Uh, so yeah. Made me feel gross and fat. And I don't like my hair because I'm in a fade. I'm in an in between phase is why I'm wearing a beanie. Okay. So I hate that. And I think I've decided. I'm cutting the sides. I'm not doing long hair. Okay. I can't do it. You've made a decision. It looks shit on me. All right. It looks dog shit on me. It doesn't. Can you please agree that it looks dog shit? It doesn't! Your hair looks good anyway. I literally can't stand that you're saying that so much. It's bothering me to my core. I need you to tell me what I'm not gonna lie. It looks good every way. It looks best, how? I liked the last haircut you got, which you didn't like, so. True, you have shit taste. That's why you're engaged to me. I'm gonna hit you. I'm gonna hit you. I'm gonna 8 1 70 real quick. We better get into the topics before this conversation gets any more heated. No, we're doing all 20 minutes on this. On just your hair. On St. Patrick's Day. Wow. I can't stand my hair. Okay, change it. You need to help me. I have, I told you to bleach it. You said no, I told you to grow it out. You don't want to, so cut it. Go get your haircut. I've said a million times. Go get your hair cut. It's not that hard. I think I need to bleach it. Okay. Bleach it. You don't. Do you think so? I think bleaching it looks great. I think gray. Like gray looks the best. I said gray. I think that looks best on me. I said gray last night. I think that looks best on me. Yeah, I agree. Okay. Gray looks gray but not yellow. It needs to be gray. Yes. Not blue. Snow Gray. Snow white. Needs to be gray. Snow white. Yeah. Yeah. Are you gonna go get it done or do you want me to do it? What do you think? I think you should get it done, but if you want to be cheap, I'll do it. We do such a good job. We do very okay. You don't see the back. I always fuck it up a little on the back. No one sees the back of my head. I'm a front facing kind of guy. What are you looking at the back of my head? Sometimes you gotta hit it you, pegging me? I'm not gonna air your dirty laundry. What the fuck? Knock it off. That's not something that happens in this house. Stop acting like it does. I can't breathe. So I'll bleach it for you then. We'll do it this weekend. It'll be fun. You're stressing me out so much. Oh, well. Well, let's get into the topics. First topic. If you were a small person, would you dress up as a leprechaun? Yeah, I would have so much fun with that. Do you think you'd be able to lean into it? I think you have to. You have to. I would be a small person leaning into looking like a leprechaun and I would have an OnlyFans. I literally was just gonna add the OF part. Yeah, I would do it. I just thought OnlyFans was one of the top earning careers you can have. Well, everyone likes to watch my videos. You said you can peck me, but you can't say you watch porn. You're a real fucking specific lady. Yeah Yeah, no, if I was the same thing exact same leprechaun and only family you just gotta commit I want to be a millionaire. Hello. I'm not dumb. You don't see a lot of You're not gonna be a yacht girl as a look like a little person. But yeah You can be only fans you can't be a girl is Yacht girl? Yeah, do you know what that is? A girl on a yacht? Oh no, it's like all the Victoria's Secret models were yacht girls back in the day, which is like a really high class prostitute, but they don't tell you they're prostitutes, but they pay them to go on billionaire yachts. Amazing, growing up you just realized so many more people are prostitutes than you ever thought. Hot models on yachts are most likely paid to be there as yacht girls. I see a career path for you if we ever break up. Yeah, I'll be rich. But we're not breaking up. Good job. Hey, I'll be a yacht girl. Hit me. Next topic. Wearing green. Um. What do you think? For St. Patrick's Day specifically. Yeah, St. Patrick's Day, wearing green. Yeah, it's fun. I like being in the spirit of anything. I wore red for Chinese New Year, I wore pink for Valentine's Day. It's I love it. Green's a hard one though. We just bought these shirts for I bought these shirts for St. Patrick's Day. Yeah, green's not a great color day to day. It's a hard day to day color. Yeah, but it's fun for the spirit because it's like a rich green. It's emerald green. It's nice. Yeah, Oz. Yeah, it's very Oz. Did you wear green as a kid? Um, depended on my year. I would get bullied in and out. Because my family's not super spirited. They don't like wearing green. They don't like doing anything fun. So, I would go in and out of wearing colors and being spirited on things. But now that I'm an adult, full spirit! Full spirit! All the way! All the time! Alright, hit me! Wait, what do you think of green? Do you like it? Yeah, I'm wearing it right now. Alright. I like when the sleeve's like this. That's a nice sleeve. Feels very classic. Yeah. Very like, 50's. Uh huh. Yeah, very 50's. 50's like gym clothes. Yes. I like it. Alright. Next topic! Shamrock shakes. From McDonald's? From what else? Yeah. We should get them this year. That'd be silly. Really? Just one, we'll split it. They feel so chalky. Yeah, but we'll do it for the podcast. Demon Babie Tries Shamrock Shakes. We could do Demon Babie Tries, it could be Shamrock shakes, green beer, and Rubens. Rubens. Shamrock shake try. I'm gonna have to step in and say I can't. Veto. I have to veto, I can't. Oh yeah, you're doing no McDonald's. I'm doing no McDonald's. I will do it in front of you and make you watch. Wow, real cuck? Cuck me with some McDonald's? Alright, hit me. That'll be fun. Wait, did you like the shamrock shake? I gave my two cents on the shamrock shake. You thought it was chalky? It's chalky and I don't like it. That's it? That's your whole two cents? Yeah. When was the last time you had it? Couldn't tell ya, I've never liked it. Never liked it. Never. It's not that good. It sucks. But I love the spirit, so we're getting one. Next topic! 100 percent spirit! Okay, uh, green beer. Green beer, love it. I love green beer, do you not know what, do you want to guess what year was the first documented green beer before St. Patrick's Day? What year had the first green beer? I have no idea, 1963. Older. Older? Yeah. Really? I know. 1895. 1895. Oh, you're close. Okay. 1914. Really? First documented green beer experience for St. Patrick's Day. Where? New York. Oh. New York is the biggest celebration of St. Patrick's Day in the world. More than Chicago. More than Chicago. Yeah. Really? There's a lot of people in New York. True. A lot of drinkers. A lot of spirit. A lot of spirit. They're outside. Uh, but green beer. Yeah. I love green beer. The only problem is When they over dye it and your teeth are gettin real fuckin grinched up. And you're like, so now I have to go get my teeth professionally whitened because this green's never coming off. I have a take. Okay. I want the Grinch to become a St. Patrick's Day mascot. Oh, cause he's green? Yes. Yeah, that'd be a fun twist. Imagine you see someone dressed up as the Grinch, or a few people. Yeah. Out. Do we dress up as the Grinch? For St. Patrick's Day. I don't think we have time to get movie quality. No, because we'd have to go high quality. Because the first year you Next year, we'll do it. I like that. I'm in it for that. Yeah. I could get about that for sure. All right. If this podcast keeps going up. If this podcast gets a hundred thousand subscribers by next year We will dress up as the Grinch and the Grinchess. If this gets a thousand subscribers by next year. All right. Grinch and Grinchess for St. Patrick's Day. Yeah. And like we do the Lederhosen. No, not Lederhosen. That's German. Hmm, we're gonna have to piece this together somehow. Yeah, we'll figure it out. Kiss me I'm Irish shirt on him Yeah, just like this one. Yeah, cuz he's got to be like in an old. Yeah, exactly. Torn up teeth. I like it All right next year. All right next topic Hmm dream st. Patrick's Day locations. Like I said, New York's is a bigger Chicago makes a river green. Yeah, but I think that that gets old really quick If New York's the biggest I bet the bars are popping. What about Ireland though? That's pretty spirited. And you'd feel cool cause you're on like the cobblestone paths and stuff. New York? You can go to New York anytime. Yeah, but they're lit. They're lit. They're drunk. They're drunk. East coasters get drunk in a certain way. They get drunk and rowdy. They get like, they get like fat dad drunk. Yeah, I kinda like it. Yeah, alright. I think it's kinda fun. Yeah. Like we get like, we get like snobby drunk. They get fat dad drunk. We do get snobby drunk and that does come down to the east coast, west coast. There were health addicts compared to them. Yeah, they get fat dad drunk though. They they go for it Yeah, people are pretty sober here right now, and it's kind of boring. It is boring. Should we go get fat dad drunk? Yeah, yeah hundred percent. Oh, thank the st. Patrick's Day fat dad drunk. Yep. I like it. Mm hmm We got to find the best pub to go. Okay, so we'll go to New York and we'll go to a pub for this St. Patrick's Day. Yes Okay, I'm excited. Perfect. Next topic. How many pints of Guinness do you think are sold on March 17th, St. Patrick's Day? Just that day? Just that day. How many pints? Yeah. How much is a pint? Show me with your hands. A pint glass, like the Guinness glass. Where you split the G. Oh God, how many people celebrate? How many people are there in the world? How many people are there in the world? How much does the earth cost? How much does the earth cost, but I'm gonna buy it. Um, I'm gonna say 7 million. Pretty close. Really? Not bad. I mean, not a bad guess. One day, 7 million? Yeah, cause there's a lot of people, but like, a lot of people in the world can't afford drinks, they don't care, they're, you know, they're in places that don't care. You know, you're close but you're not close cause it is double that. It's 13 million. So really? Yeah. In one day, 13 million pints are sold. Isn't that pretty impressive? Even if that's one, a person, that's a lot of people, a lot of people. Even if that's two, a person, that's 7 million people. And if you drink like us, that's like five, six people. That's crazy. 1 million. That's 13 people. How many pints do you think you could drink in a day? In a day? On the 17th. Like St. Patrick's Day, let's say I don't have work, that day or next day. It's a Friday night. It's a Friday? It's a Friday. But I'm not working that Friday. You're not working that Friday and you're not working that Saturday. And am I in full celebration mode? Obviously. Finances are fine? Yes. Okay. Am I dressed as a Grinch? No. Okay. No Grinch. Oh, oh, I don't know. You don't start till 3pm. I have to wait till 3pm? Yes. So, I'm not doing lunch. You're, no, you're doing like a post lunch, early afternoon, I'm getting That makes no sense, I would do beers with lunch at that point. Late lunch. Okay, fine. Late lunch at 3pm, with friends. Yes. That are drinking with me. Yeah, they're off work early, everyone's out. Can I go 3, 3pm to 3am? Yeah. 12 hour slot? No, you have to stop at 2 because bars close at 2. Okay. 11 hours. I think, oh, I would, of Guinness? You can drink whatever beer you want. Oh, well that helps. I can do How many pints? Pints? I can do I think I could do 22. 22? 22 pints. Wow. I'd be pissing. But I could drink 22 pints in 11 hours. Wow. Yeah, if it's St. Patrick's Day, and I'm full of spirit. That's two an hour. Yeah. Yeah, you could do that. You'd be fine. Yeah. I mean, I'll be fucked up. Oh, you'll be fucked up. I'll throw up, but you didn't say that was against the rules. That's on you. I didn't say it was against the rules. What about you? How many would you drink? 11 hours. St. Patrick's Day, you're full of spirit. I am full of spirit. Six or seven, and not for the joke. Truly six or seven, and then I'm down and out. So we could have a dent in the 13 million sold. Yeah. Yeah. Although Guinness would be a lot harder to do that many of. Guinness I could probably only do four. I'd be fat dad. I would be throwing up. Yeah. Yeah. Hit me. Next topic! Pub vs. house party. Which I, I reserved it to those two, because those are the only two, uh, Acceptable answers, yeah. Acceptable answers for St. Patrick's Day. Pub. Pub. No house party. I don't know house party. Everyone's wearing green. There's jello shots. Never been to a super super fun. St. Patrick's Day house party. We need more Irish friends. That's what we're always saying to each other too. Yeah, we need more white friends. Irish, specifically. Specifically. Our life isn't white enough. We need more white people. Okay, um, pub was my answer. Pub. Pub. I like going to the pub. I like it. It's dark, it's dingy. Did you like Ye Olde Inn? Because we went there last year. Yeah, we needed more friends there. Our friends were all scattered at different pubs. Yeah, I think we need to We didn't coordinate. We need to coordinate. Consolidate the pubs. Everyone went to different ones. We need to We gotta go to the same one. We gotta take the pubs and push them together. Like a dying star. Make it really dense. Get everyone into one pub. Pub. And then it would be really fun. Turn this coal into a diamond. Yep. Yep. Hit me. Next topic. Irish, car, bomb. I think you're really supposed to say Irish bomb, drink, drop shot. Irish bomb drink. I don't remember what the new correct word is. You gotta get rid of the car. Cause then they're like, you don't see us ordering a 9 11, and I'd be like, order a 9 Be like, two, what would a 9 11 drink be? I think it has to be a double drop shot from the towers. Wow, yeah I like that. Wow, sorry. Sorry. That was aggressive. That was dark. Um, yeah. I was gonna say grenadine too, but I shouldn't have. I think they're called Jägerbombs, aren't they? Jägerbombs? Isn't that what they're called? No, that's a Jäger dropped into a Red Bull. Yeah. Oh yeah. Which is delicious. It's not an Irish car bomb. No. What is it called? An Irish bomb. An Irish bomb. An Irish bomb. Yeah. Yeah. Delicious. Fun. Silly. I like that. My dad calls them a shot of frappuccino. Oh, yeah, he does call them a shot of frappuccino and that's what they taste like. Yeah, I highly recommend. He took like an 11 year hiatus after throwing up one of the Is he back? Yeah, oh he's been back for years. I would say only acceptable house party is drinking Irish bongs with your dad. That's a crazy time. That's acceptable house party? Yeah, well, your parents house is dark in the kitchen. It's like a pub. Yeah, their house is dark like a pub. I like it. Yeah, it's very fun to drink with them on St. Patrick's Day, I will say. One time, one St. Patrick's Day, I went by just to get, uh, Corned beef to make Reuben's with. Yeah. And just on my stop by, they made me do an Irish bomb shot, just as I was walking through. Love it. Right before I drove. It's only one drink, you can't have one drink and drive. Don't drink and drive, kids. But, literally drove there, pulled up, got it, was about to pull out, and they're like, Have one, it's St. Patrick's Day, have one. You have to have one, I swear to God they're Irish. My dad, my parents, my mom claims Irish. When I was a little kid, I didn't know what I was, and we were doing reports in like, first or second grade of like, What our family immigrated from, and all that stuff. I had no clue. I was like, I didn't know, we were mostly Italian. So I just said Irish, and then like,. I went home and I was like, yeah. I said, I'm Irish. I have to do like a whole report on how we're Irish, like, can you gimme some info on that? And my mom's like, what the hell do you mean? We're Irish? You fucking idiot. You're not Irish, you're dad. But, but now she says you're Irish. Now she claims Irish. Yeah. Okay. I, she mostly, I like the turnaround French. She turns around, she's flip floppers. She's French right now. Yeah, she, she, that's classy. She code switches her races or ethnicities. Ethnicities, yeah. Yeah. That's cool. I like that. Yeah. And you are Irish. I am Irish and I am Swedish. You don't claim Irish often? No. Only on St. Patrick's Day. Ooh, kiss. Who? You're Irish. Kiss me. I'm Irish. Ah, okay. Hit me. Next topic. What traditions do we have? Me and you? Um, we always try and do green drinks. Green drinks. And you were doing green martinis I think last year. I don't know. I was just doing whatever. I was drunk. I think you were drinking martinis at the pub. I like that for me. I don't remember. I was pretty drunk. I think we got drunk on beers and then switched to martinis and got drunker. Yeah. If I remember correctly. I think we got bored of the beer. It wasn't doing enough for us so we switched. Yeah. Beer is too slow for us. We are cheetahs when it comes to the alcoholism. Yeah. So we said we gotta pick up the pace here. Let's switch to martinis and then we switched back to beer. I think we said there's a green olive. Yeah. That's what we claimed. I think. I don't remember. I'm gonna be real, I don't remember. But, um, I like that I now like Reubens and I cannot wait for my Reuben this year. And hit me with the L. Next. Last. Topic. Reuben sandwiches. My favorite! You know, I wish we were in New York so we could go to Katz's and get a room from them. Oh my god, I know that Reuben. Oh my god. That Reuben would do me so right. Katz's, Reuben at 3 to 4 to 5 AM or whenever they're about to close. You just walk right in. No line, you take your ticket, You go, you bother, you tip him, He gives you lots of food, He's entertained by you because you're too drunk, You're eating that, you're drunk, You're like, so what's your favorite sandwich here? And then they'll tell you some bullshit sandwich, You go, okay, give me that and the Reuben. Because I'm not leaving without that Reuben. No, I'm getting the Reuben. Oh Reuben's so good. So, we really need to put it on the books. New York, St. Patrick's Day, Reuben. I can't imagine there's a time of day that's even gonna be acceptable to get a Reuben there. Cause it's just gonna be so busy. It's gonna be insane. I know drunk me doesn't care at 3am on St. Patrick's Day. Maybe we get drunk the night before. Nope. No, no, no, listen to me. I'm gonna do it every night. True. Which is what we did last time we were in New York. Hello. So, this is what I'm thinking. Okay. Listen here. Let's hear it. Monday night, drunk. Start it up. Obviously. Start the engine. Okay. Wrap it up. We're out past midnight. We're adults. With money. So we're awake until 3 to 4 a. m. On the way back to the hotel, we go to Katz. Yeah. It's already St. Patrick's Day. Oh! We start the day. Start the day. Hear me out! We get one for at night and a second one for the morning, so it's breakfast. All we eat. All we eat all day. We see how many Reuben's and beer. Maybe We go six. We have one for lunch. Dinner too. And the day. We get four or five. I love this idea. This is huge. This is huge. Breakfast, lunch, dinner. We are cooking. We are cooking right now. Our hotel room will re cover Reuben, but I don't care. It will be everywhere. It will be delicious. It will be everything we ever wanted. It's the best Irish thing that's ever happened. Food wise. Haggis? No. Ruben. Ruben. Love it. This one should not even be Irish. I can't wait. I'm looking forward to it. More than anything right now. Oh, me too. Well, that's our episode. Happy St. Patrick's Day to you, your loved ones. May you drink safely. Unsafely. And kiss an Irish person. And kiss anybody. No. Kiss them, they're Irish. Kiss them, they're Irish. That's Demon Babie. Thanks for watching. See you in the next one!