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Ep. 9 - Mia Jackson: From Military Life to Parenthood, Navigating Relationships and Cultivating Growth
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What if you could gain a fresh perspective on life's toughest transitions, from military life to parenthood, through the eyes of a woman who has walked that path? In an inspiring conversation with my better half, Maya, we explore her extraordinary journey. As a child of strict parents, Maya faced the daunting task of navigating predominantly white schools as a minority. Yet, these experiences have helped her carve out a stronger sense of self and a healthier body image.
Fasten your seat belts as Maya takes you through her transition from military life to parenthood. She recalls her culture shock in Germany, her challenging decision upon discovering her pregnancy, and her surprising encounter with a lottery system when seeking employment back home. In a heart-to-heart discussion, we compare the intricacies of raising an 11-year-old with having three daughters at home.
Our conversation doesn't stop there. We plunge into the essential role of trust in relationships and the ever-so-damaging effect of generalizations. Maya's story is a testament to resilience, strength, and growth. From her military days to her parenting journey, her keen discernment has been an invaluable tool in navigating relationships and making health choices. As we discuss parenting challenges and communication strategies, Maya offers her wisdom on keeping relationships vibrant and strong.
If you're ready to hear an eye-opening narrative full of wisdom and resilience, tune into this episode of Two Cups Cafe. Trust us, you won't want to miss it!
Follow Allen C. Jackson - @2cupschronicles
I'm so grateful for another day to help stimulate the mental Time to strategize. Cuddle up with your sickle. I can feel the movement radiating through the convo. Talk is cheap. Turn your faith into work. I drink my second cup and put my hands in the dirt. Two cups drinking straight drip from the earth. Papanated conversation. You heard them here first. One fuck the wake up. One, fuck the wake up, two. Fuck the word. Papanated conversations you heard them here first. Welcome back to Two Cups Cafe. I am your host, alan C Jackson, and coming through today I got a very, very, very, very, very special guest. No, I'm not trying to butter her up, but it is my other half. They called me Two Cups and I just unnamed her Moka. Maya. What's up, maya, what's up? So Maya is my beloved wife. We've been married almost 27 years in December and, man, we just come from. Have you ever heard the same opposites attract? Oh man, we are opposites. I'm hip hop, she's old school 80s rock, r&b, a little bit Michael Jackson, a little bit hauling oats. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2Jazz, Jazz a little bit.
Speaker 1You grew up to the jazz. I'm talking about how you came up. You was born in the 70s but you was an 80s baby, so tell me what was growing up in the 80s.
Speaker 2Wow, I mean everything was changing quick. So it's like when we were young, it was like we had pagers and just that and other. All of a sudden, everybody's got to have a phone. We don't even have pay phones anymore.
Speaker 1I remember having to go to pay phones because a lot of times our phones got cut off but you probably had to house phone with the big long cord, yep, mm-hmm, wait for you to dial so for each number.
Speaker 2But things changed really, really quick after the 80s.
Speaker 1For sure. So you grew up in the 80s. And then what were your goals and aspirations growing up and what did you wind up doing after high school?
Speaker 2Okay, actually I wanted to be a fashion designer and a bodybuilder. I don't know how that was going to work together, but I ended up going to the army Because my parents were like either you go to college and go to work or you go to the military, and then I felt like the GI Bill was going to get me through school.
Speaker 1Okay. So you pretty much felt like you were running out of time. You had to make a quick decision. Absolutely so before you went to the army. Did you like grow up thinking like I'm going to go to the army, or was it one of those things? You met a recruiter, or did your parents?
Speaker 2date, I met a recruiter, and I had to lose weight, though, to get in, because they have weight limits that you have to follow.
Speaker 1So you said you had to lose weight. Did you feel like you were overweight, or you were overweight just by your standards?
Speaker 2Well, I was overweight, definitely because I always had issues with weight growing up. I didn't even diet. Doctors had to go every day and get a shot and this, that and other. But that was when I was trying to get in the military.
Speaker 1But eventually I lost the weight the recruiter used to run with me and everything and eventually I got up in there, so I know, like a lot of times you know we don't get to it, but you grew up your mom, you know she took real good care of you and she put you in some different schools outside of the inner city school setting and you went to school with a lot of other racial backgrounds and things of that nature and you saying that you struggled with your weight and a lot of times you were the only minority around. How did that play to your self-esteem or your body image back then, or did you even think about it?
Speaker 2I thought about it, but it was more about TV, what was shown on TV and in magazines. But it was more like a disconnect from people at school because the black kids they were like in a certain neighborhood and I wasn't in that neighborhood. And then the white kids. They were with other Caucasians but, I, pretty much was a loner.
Speaker 1You was a loner.
Speaker 2Because my mom, she used to work nights, so I would have to come home and she would be gone to work and then in the morning I would have to get myself together and get myself off to school and walk to school.
Speaker 1Okay, so then you came through your high school experience, went to the military, and what was the biggest change from the military to how, from what you were used to?
Speaker 2I was free. Okay, I thought you were talking about discipline.
Speaker 1He said why you was free.
Speaker 2I was free. There wasn't no discipline comparable to my parents.
Speaker 1So your parents were old school? Yeah, they were real strict.
Speaker 2I couldn't leave the house. I couldn't have nobody at the house when they weren't at home, and my dad, he would only come home once. Mom was about to be at home. So I was watching TV, getting my homework done real quick, watching TV always in bed by 9 Because I couldn't get my 8 hours.
Speaker 1So, military, tell me about basic, tell me about your first assignment.
Speaker 2I only had one assignment because I wasn't in there that long before I got pregnant and came back home. I was in there for basic. You just had to do it, just do it. But I had one drill sergeant that used to get on my nerves, so it was like one time I had you know, I had spit shining shoes and this and that and other.
Speaker 2Well, I'm thinking I'm gonna take the easy way out and I didn't already heard what the easy way he does, so I'm gonna go and put some shoe polish on my stuff my stuff clasped right, so I'm like okay.
Speaker 2So a couple days that thing started cracking up. My drill sergeant was heated. He threw my boots out the window during inspection. So I had some good experiences, even the ones that like things like that was good experiences for me. So I ended up going to Germany Darmstadt, germany, darmstadt's not there anymore. I don't know how they can switch up countries like that. It's not there anymore. But I went to Darmstadt, germany, and I was so was Germany a culture shock for you.
Speaker 1Because you entered the military at 17, you know, but then you were over in Germany. What kind of culture shock is that?
Speaker 2Not really culture shock, because the base is all Americans.
Speaker 1So it's like all inclusive, everybody's from America, Right and then you go off post whenever you like.
Speaker 2But it's like if you want to stay on the post and just be with your people, you have everything on post. And then you just had slight differences, like you would have to move for an elderly person If they come on the bus you'd have to give them your seat if you're up front or this and the other.
Speaker 1So just to fathom a little bit, like you said, you got pregnant. I know that was probably a whirlwind of emotions and things of that nature and then you made the decision to come home. What was involved in that decision?
Speaker 2Well, at a certain point, when you get pregnant in the military, you have to. Well, when you're overseas. I had to have my plan together by, I believe, five or six months. I had to have whoever was going to take care of her and this, that and the other, and I was like I don't know these people. And so I had racial. I had granted to some racial things off post too, so I'm like I don't not feel that.
Speaker 2I'm just going to go ahead and go home, and I got into it with her father anyways. So I was like, ah, that's it, I'm out.
Speaker 1So you was out of there, huh. So, how did your parents receive you when you came back? I mean, you went away they thinking that they empty nesters, they about to just live life and all the kids are grown out the house. So how did they receive you when you came back home?
Speaker 2Well, my mom was happy, because that's when Desert Storm had launched.
Speaker 1OK.
Speaker 2So she was like OK, ok, all right, we'll deal with it. So I got on welfare and eventually my mom got me a job at Jeep with the lottery.
Speaker 1Yeah, for those that don't know, that when grew up running the factory town back in the day, the jobs at factories were really limited. I mean, you had to be on the waiting list sometimes or you had to know somebody. So they came up with a lottery system which allowed current employees to. If they drew their name, they would have a selection of who they could give that job to. So you got the lottery system and I know right around that time I was just graduating from high school and back here in our hometown private industry council, so they were away from me to kind of on road into the factory life and that is where we met. So that was something.
Speaker 2Mm, that's really something yeah.
Speaker 1So we and you met. I mean, it was crazy because, just coming from a background I came from, I didn't have trust for a lot of individuals and none of you didn't either. So our common ground at the time was I knew that you didn't need anything from me and I didn't need anything from you at the time. So it was kind of like we were just friends and hanging out with things and then fast forward. Things happen right.
Speaker 2Absolutely.
Speaker 1So we have four daughters, and they range from ages 11 to 32, in October 22nd 32, october 22nd, so that's a huge range, right, and we have two grandchildren. So what do you think is the biggest difference between raising one basically the only child, 11-year-old, and then how we had three daughters in the house at the same time?
Speaker 2Well, the three daughters were all closer in age, they could entertain each other.
Speaker 1And we didn't have to entertain them the 11-year-old.
Speaker 2We have to plan things out and take her with us on trips and this, that and other Grandmother was younger so she could help out a little bit more. My mom was still alive so she helped out a little bit not too much, but a little bit. But it's just, we've been life-in so we just have to adapt.
Speaker 1Right for sure I know. For me it's like our older daughters. They say we get soft and we let her do too much. But she's a good kid and I think the biggest thing is just getting her more socialized because she's spending so much time with us. And we weren't in the same financial position when the younger three were small, like you said, I think we were stricter on them because we were young, we had places to be, places to go right now. So when our other kids were young, like you, were working outside the home. So our schedule had to be our schedule. Everybody got to get up, everybody got to go. Let's go, let's go. But now this, our younger one, it's like she take her time a little bit because she feel like mom. It's just her mom, because you know when I had to go away and do what I do. But how do you feel about that?
Speaker 2Well, my thing is I think that was a factor in me becoming a housewife, because I grew up as a what do you call it? Latchkey kid. Yeah, so I grew up like that. So it's like I felt like I wanted to be home with my kids and be there for them, like if they get sick, I can go pick them up, take them to the hospital. Right whether then have the nurse say tell the nurse, have them lay down, and then no.
Speaker 1You're still a little old school though, because I know if somebody gets sick they gotta be real sick.
Speaker 2Absolutely, because they have play games.
Speaker 1But now, unfortunately, since you know we went through the pandemic, like schools, don't mess around, you have a sniffle, they send them home right away, but then don't let them have too many days off.
Speaker 1Right, because then you get a warning saying they miss too much school. But so you know it's, I think everybody, the education system, I think you know everybody's getting kind of used to them. I don't want to say new norm, but how do you navigate when we still have, you know, health things going on but we still have to get jobs done, we still have to get school done? So it's kind of been crazy. I just want to talk about a little bit, like earlier you talked about, you know, having weight issues and struggles, but when you know me, you and I talk all the time you like got a whole lot of knowledge about a lot of.
Speaker 1You know herbs and vitamins and things of that nature like where did that interest come from?
Speaker 2I'm not sure I like to study health period because I feel like we have doctors and this, that another. But I think the Lord has made things for us to heal ourselves. Yeah but we, I think food is medicine and sometimes, when we over in indulge in that, we're living. That's what they mean by living to eat instead of eating to live.
Navigating Relationships and Health Choices
Speaker 1Okay, so what's the biggest thing you notice, like when you kind of in your groove and and what you're eating and your health, or when you're not?
Speaker 2I feel, I feel better. I actually feel better when I eat plant-based okay but it's really hard to do nowadays, especially being that you have a husband and like to eat, it's kind of hard right there. You can't, you can't, you can't go around eating plants all the time.
Speaker 1No, I did say like whatever you make, I eat it, don't I?
Speaker 2That's what you say, but that's not what you do. Your actions speak louder than your words. What you mean Like if I had some fried chicken mashed potatoes all right you know what I'm saying? Some greens and cornbread there we go. That thing, it is smashed, it's gone, no matter how much of it is there? It is. But you, if I give you some vegetables, you put one spoonful of vegetables now, a big spoon, though, like you know, like a little tablespoon, maybe two right and then maybe some grilled meat or whatever.
Speaker 2But you really don't smash it like that.
Speaker 1So it gives you. It floats your boat when I smash your food.
Speaker 2Actually, yes, that's my love language, I think. That's your love Taking care of people cooking okay, okay, I like that, I like that.
Speaker 1So let me ask you this like you're a little reluctant, you know, to come on, come on camera, and a lot of times you know we take, I take pictures and you're like, oh, you're taking pictures, but I just want everybody to know because in the last probably like two, three years, I've been getting a lot of people asking me about you know, things that you and I have going on, because you know, we get a little older now and we like to take trips and we like to have fun.
Speaker 1But my thing is, I want to show the world that couples can go through, you know, ups and downs, but when, when we're just living life and just loving on each other. I think that our younger generation, they need to see that. You know, like we say, we've been married well, almost 27 years, right, and I mean that's like not common for a lot of kids growing up. They, you know, as they train, they train each other in like cars these days. So I just want to be able to show that you can't have a wife. You can, you know, still be active, still be visible, but at the same time, you know, still recognize what we have yeah, I'm a trooper lever and moving with you.
Speaker 2Know, I'm saying moving in silence because I feel like people can put their negative energy into your, into your path, like to slow you down.
Speaker 1But with God, though, it's not going to happen, though see, a lot of times I feel like we bet we not not just you and I, but I think people battle against, like the insecurities of of yesteryear like I think me. I don't know we who we were talking to and they were talking about.
Speaker 1A lot of times our fears are passed down you know, I think we're talking to the um marriage counselor okay, like our peers was, our fears are passed down like, like, so, like you know, if you don't mind me sharing like your, your dad, like he had different issues with your mom and then. So a lot of times I feel like you know, not all the time, but sometimes I feel like you're seeing me through a lens that, okay, I don't think that's me, you know what I mean. And then I remember you always say, like you know, I was crazy about the girls. You know she, like you'll be like, um, all right, you can't love nothing too much, or, lord, take it away from yeah but that's man.
Speaker 1That's not the oldest person saying that I've ever heard in my life so selfish too because then, when you think about it, you read the bible the lord is love, mm-hmm so I just think, like that fear, like, like okay, we outside we showing that you know we we doing good. But then you always hear about the celebrities that I got this so-called picturesque relationship and then you see them getting a divorce and the thing is like, well, they shouldn't have had all their business, they shouldn't have been all out on the street, they shouldn't have been so visible.
Speaker 1But I believe, like, I believe, like the greatest trust is to be able to be visible, be able to be seen by the same time, like if anybody goes through, like our social media or whatnot, they're going to see the other one. So I don't think, like you know our each other girl oh, okay, yeah, you know how he's on, you know talk too much.
Speaker 1You go through our facebook. They go see pictures of you and I are you. You know us and the kids you know. So it's like I guess you know I've never been one to want to share locations or passwords. I'm like, if you trust me, you trust me. But I realize that some people had to put put those different parameters in place for their own accountability. But I think that you know every relationship it should be, uh, individualized. You know you should have it. You know, like kids have an individualized education plan. I believe that marriages you have to have an individualized, you know, marriage plan based upon your situation, because I know a lot of generalities are out there now about all men are like this, or all women are like that, or he's just working out, so you have muscles to get noticed, or she's just putting on makeup because she wants me in to look at her, so it's like so many generalities that come up go ahead.
Speaker 2You gotta keep it right and tight, though no for your significant other 100 or for yourself, don't nobody want, nobody that don't nobody else want. I mean, honestly, seriously, think about it. So I'm just saying, like um, you also have to realize that the order you're getting, the more you're, you're still changing mm-hmm your significant other is always. You're all. You're gonna always have to learn your significant other.
Speaker 2I would read that 100% because they're always changing and growing, because you have internal and external experiences that that mold you right, I know because we both dealt with it with a loss.
Speaker 1So I remember my grandmother died, which raised me for like seven years of my adolescence, and when she passed away it was like I grieve, but I think that I just moved on like and didn't really properly grieve and then, when your mom had passed and you went through your grief process.
Speaker 1That hit you really hard. But at the same time I don't think that that I was equipped or I didn't have enough information on loss, because you know, certain things you were going through at that time I didn't understand. And then, once we got years past that we you and I were having a conversation, you told me you was like well, you understand, let's tell you lose your mother. And I was like I really sat back and I got sort of emotional because for me I already had lost a mother, even though me and my biological mom we have a great relationship, we're unified, but that piece with my grandmother would never be superseded by anything else. So I was like when you said that, I was just like, wow, I understood where you were coming from in that moment and it helped me kind of look back on some of the rough patches we went through during those years and it was like man, she was grieving and I didn't really know how to help.
Speaker 2See, you knew that before I knew it.
Parenting Challenges and Communicating With Adults
Speaker 1Cause I just learned it today. You just learned it. Yeah, what you think?
Speaker 2You think that that's valid or it could be. I would have to put myself back into that position to realize what was really going on. But I'm a person that just feel her feelings Okay, and sometimes they're so passionate that I'll lash out, but that's something I've been working on.
Speaker 1Okay, yeah, for sure. So what kind of like? How do you decipher like? Cause I know you have a strong sense of discernment.
Speaker 2So how do you decipher when? I'm glad you realized that.
Speaker 1How you decipher, when you discern it or something. And then, because I asked you one time, I said okay. So if you feel, if you feel somebody's giving off a certain like, a certain stance or a certain energy you know, I know energy is like overused right now, but I'm just saying, like you notice things about a certain person Like how do you know whether it's for you to flee them, help them or pray for them?
Speaker 2Ooh, Well, see what you said, flee them.
Speaker 1Flee like get away from them.
Speaker 2Or.
Speaker 1Or help them.
Speaker 2Uh huh, or tell them about themselves, or show them about themselves.
Speaker 1See, I don't know, See, see, that's what.
Speaker 2I'm saying See, I have this body language thing too. So if I have something I'm thinking about, I'm going to let you know, especially as a woman, woman to woman. They could feel me.
Speaker 1Yeah, for sure. But a lot of times I feel like people, cause people gravitate towards us, right, and so they want to be around us, but everybody's not in the same, in the same, I guess, maturity, or some people do. They've been doing things for so long they don't even realize what type of underlying motivation may be behind their actions. So I think sometimes for me it's like even with you know, cause you know I work with the teenage boys and whatnot. Like for me it's like I already I know where you are, but I know where I am.
Speaker 2Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1And sometimes my boys. They're cross bound. They might cuss me out, they might try to manipulate, they might take advantage, but I already know that I'm not going to do something that I don't want to do.
Speaker 2Oh, you don't do anything you don't want to do. Yeah, I learned that very, very quick.
Speaker 1But what I said is so. So, principally, you know whether it's male, female, you know adolescent, I already had predetermined, like what I'm going to do, what I'm not going to do. You know what I mean. Yeah, so a lot of times I think like you get upset because you might see an adolescent trying to manipulate me or one of our. You know, when a kid's a little, even you know your own kids try to manipulate you. You know. But I already decided, like what I'm going to do before the action happens.
Speaker 2But see, we also had problems with that too, because as a couple, you're supposed to let your kids know that you're one. Whatever happens, everything is going to happen, and we're going to respond in the same way.
Speaker 1But you can't, because we're still different people.
Speaker 2But my thing is is we have to have that connection with each other before we connect with the kids and let them know what's going on, because if you're going this way and I'm going that way, kids see that.
Speaker 1Right.
Speaker 2And they'll pit us against each other.
Speaker 1No, I agree with that 100%.
Speaker 2So you have to show them that we're in unity in the decision and have to stick to that.
Speaker 1Right, but you don't ask parents. A lot of times mom or dad will make a decision and before it was in unity, and they just want the other parent to back them up.
Speaker 2True, true, I mean, sometimes you have to do that Because, like you said, we're individuals, we might have the kids separately or whatever. Yeah, sometimes you have to do that and you'll have time to, you know, go talk it out.
Speaker 1Yeah, because I know for our kids, like when they were the older ones were smaller, like you was the strict one.
Speaker 2I'm still am.
Speaker 1You was like the super, like no nonsense parent. You know what I?
Speaker 2mean, and we were Christian too. We were baby Christians too, we still Christian? No, I mean but we were baby Christians so we were like we was really on it.
Speaker 1Oh yeah, we was like cut that off, turn that off, Can't watch.
Speaker 2No, Harry Potter can't do this, can't do that.
Speaker 1For sure, for sure. So I know we had struggle because, like you said, we were young and we were just going to take in our experiences from the past. You know how we came up trying to incorporate them in this faith thing that we had and trying to get the interpretations from the people that were like at that time was really old school, like our church was old school. You know you got to travel wearing pants.
Speaker 2I know, let's see, when I gained that baby weight they wasn't saying not gonna look a mess. I must have been looking cute.
Speaker 1So I say that to say you know we grew and it's still a process cause having grown children is it's not. It's not always easy either, because now you have this adult sometimes that needs you but then at the same time trying to tell you what to do or how they need you or what you could say. You know you have different boundaries in this relationship than you had anticipated. Like a lot of times I had to sit back with our girls and they have relationships and it's like you know, not just one that's been having problems with in a relationship, but all three of them. I find myself like trying not to trying to find where the line is, to kind of input, you know, without them pulling away, because adults are, they'll retreat quick.
Speaker 2You know what, though? They're gonna always come back. My thing is is my entire family has told me to pull back because I was putting in like you shouldn't be doing this, or you should do a little bit more of this or this. That and other girls were like mom, well, you shouldn't have said that that way or you shouldn't have said it at that time. But I'm like but I said it and you're grown, you're not a kid anymore, so I shouldn't have to sugarcoat whatever I say to you, because you're a grown up.
Speaker 1Yeah, but then they were like well, I'm a grown up so I could talk to you like a grown up, okay, and will and have. But at the same time, like it's certain way, I won't talk to my mom, no matter what.
Speaker 2Exactly.
Speaker 1There it is that old school but we're not.
Speaker 2you're growing up in that age, mom, we're supposed. They're telling me that there's a thing, what's it called?
Speaker 1A. Thing called.
Speaker 2What is that thing? They told me it was called when they reteach us how to treat them.
Speaker 1How to be parent. Teach your parent how to parent, or something like that?
Speaker 2Yeah, what is that? Who does that?
Speaker 1I don't know. I heard you say that in that saying before, but I would have to really look into that and see what that actually mean, cause they might be misinterpreting that too, no, I've heard that before, and that's a thing that therapists tell kids, or your adult children. Okay, how do you say that again?
Speaker 2They act like we're not supposed to. They're supposed to teach us how to treat them as adults.
Speaker 1So I know you once you feel like somebody trying to Trying to teach you something without you knowing you being taught. You don't like that.
Speaker 2Who told you that I've?
Speaker 1even noticed in that, like you be like. I see what you trying to do.
Speaker 2That's you, because you come at me sometimes like the boys what you mean like you know how you do the boys like. This is a life lesson. No, sir, no sir. 52, it's already there. Well, if I'm right though, you are right Sometimes, but sometimes you're not okay or it doesn't apply to me, because sometimes you know, I mean even as a human being everybody gets Understood right so it's like, just because you know me, you don't know me. Know me, you know.
Speaker 1So you had to get to the intent.
Speaker 2I Guess, yeah, yeah, yeah, mm-hmm, yeah, everything is intentional. Okay everybody said see, that's why I don't really talk. Usually it's because I feel like just talking to be talking right that. That's just a waste of time and energy okay. I have to talk with purpose. I have to speak with purpose, I have to have something to say that's, that's gonna change my, my environment.
Speaker 1I got you, but so what you must like to listen though, cuz you listen your YouTube people that you like they be rambling about nothing that's tail.
Speaker 2Those I'm not gonna name, no names, but they like I'm learning from them too, cuz I Might one day want to launch a YouTube channel.
Speaker 1Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2That's that's. That's the end goal.
Speaker 1Okay, okay.
Speaker 2So I'm learning from them. But usually it's like you have cleaning inspirations, you have just people just live in life and you just like okay, I see you, I see you, and then you might see yourself in some of those people and you like I'm not alone.
Speaker 1Right for sure, but you gotta admit, sometimes they could talk for a whole hour. Oh, yeah, just to the camera about not too much.
Speaker 2Yeah, you're right.
Speaker 1Cuz if I was saying the same thing, they would say you been told me be quiet.
Speaker 2Yeah, but I pushed play on them.
Speaker 1Oh, you're pretty. Pause and play.
Speaker 2Okay, I got.
Speaker 1Okay, so two cups right. It's one for the wake, one for the work.
Speaker 2Shakes. That third would give me shake, so what?
Speaker 1wait. What for the work and the meaning behind it as you probably heard at nauseam, is the wake is what? What's waking you up in the morning, what's inspiring you, what are you dreaming about in the work is what steps are you taking in that direction so you have anything? That's just really that's your big vision idea. That's just waking you up, that you want to get to, and what do you think the first step is to get to it.
Speaker 2All right, my, I wake up in the morning for my family. My family is most important to me. What I do you, you would know I'm, I got that.
Speaker 1That's a good start, but it's some things that you guys and dreams of visions for absolutely.
Speaker 2Maya to I do I have.
Speaker 1Let's get into that care going on right now. There we go.
Speaker 2Um, um, pretty much Revamping myself. Okay, like I'm in the Bible more.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 2I'm praying or I'm trying to eat better, trying to work out Um working on some of my, my weaknesses.
Speaker 1Okay, yeah, I like that, and then so are you doing that Solely for you, or is that something that because I know you have mentioned you want to use? Thinking about launching a YouTube channel like, like what, what? Is that something that you're gonna incorporate into that, or oh yeah, I think that would be Something to be.
Speaker 2That's that. I think it could be therapeutic actually. Okay, because, being that I'm not a big talker, I think that would help me out. Okay, I'm not right there with as many people. That's gonna see it.
Speaker 1Right, so if they was like sitting in a room with you, you might feel away. But, yeah, yeah, if you could record it and edit it and really put it out and you can kind of like Be okay with that.
Speaker 2Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1Okay, because this was a big step for you to come on here.
Speaker 2I.
Speaker 1Saw you kind of like trying to figure out a way if he was gonna try to tell me, no, I was to.
Speaker 1I'm glad you came on because you know, like I said before, man you the biggest part of my life. You know I'm saying like our kids. You know, when they were young and I was young, I thought everything was about the kids and we both did the kids, the kids, the kids. We bet we Rarely went on dates and we rarely did anything by ourselves, but we spent a lot of time, you know, most time as a family, and I remember we used to get into it cuz you'll be like you don't spend any time with me, you don't spend any time with me. I'm like what are you talking about? We just went to the zoo with the kids. We just, you know, take the kids to Disney. We just did this, did that and it was just like but that's.
Speaker 1I didn't understand then, but just you and I being able to get away now, which is really only in the last two years man.
Speaker 2Yeah, maybe it's been a blast.
Speaker 1So this is the first time that we we ever went away by ourselves, you know, without one of our kids, and it was crazy and I'm like, okay, now I get it right too bad.
Speaker 2I think younger people should get it, though, at first, because the way we got married, though, we did already have children and I was pregnant, so it's like we only had well, we had just Asia, and we had, and a lawyer was on the way right but my thing is is I think If you do it the correct way, you do the dating correctly and then you go to the marriage counselor correctly and you learn each other just a little bit more each day.
Speaker 2You know I'm saying and know what everybody each other's goals are and go over it over and over again, because it's like a business plan it's always changing always changing. So you gotta, you gotta learn what your partner's inspires them and what their goals are, and just continually go over that. But people that just, oh, I'm just gonna marry him because he fine and got money, or I'm just gonna marry him because this, that's, this and that and other, no, you gotta marry him, or get married because you're getting older.
Speaker 1now I gotta get married because the clock is ticking. I gotta have kids. Or I gotta do this or I gotta do that.
Speaker 2We gotta understand that things are not done in our time, but God's time. Okay, maybe you're not ready. Right, like you got. Okay, you pray for money, right, oh, I need me a million dollars, right, but you don't pray on how to be a good steward. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1For sure.
Speaker 2You have to pray for that stuff. Oh, that's how these things on lottery ticket winners go over, Right. They don't get no advisors to help them out or anything.
Speaker 1Yeah, for sure, and I think like what you're saying about you know, you have to pray, and then I think you have to also be in tune with who you put around yourselves, or kind of where you go to get the information Cause. You can learn from YouTube, you can learn from experts, you can learn from you know kids, even these days because, you know our daughter knows some things about. You know social media or kind of more so YouTube than you know I even pay attention to Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2Yeah, but being that the era that we're in, this is the information era, so we can get information. Anybody can be a millionaire.
Speaker 1Especially with that, the AI Mm-hmm. Like I was kind of really against it, but I asked it a couple of questions. Just kind of sparks my ideas in myself and I was like, oh man, yep, that was all right.
Speaker 2Yep. So it's like anybody can be wealthy. If you want to be wealthy, you can learn anything you want to learn. It's like Darrell over there. Darrell learns all his stuff. He didn't go to school. He learned that on his own. He's self taught and he's good at what he does.
Speaker 1So I don't know if, darrell, you go to school.
Speaker 2You go to school, darrell.
Speaker 1Right, okay.
Speaker 2All right, all right, I don't know what to say.
Speaker 1She's putting Darrell up there.
Speaker 2If I had a camera, I'd be like Darrell.
Speaker 1That's all right. That's all right. So what are you see yourself? What steps do you see yourself taking towards your big vision of getting a YouTube launch in the next 90 days? Go?
Speaker 2Oh no, you didn't. Okay, let's do this. All right, I think I'm gonna start videoing, taking little clips and this, that and other and just practicing in front of the camera, writing down some content that I'm planning on putting on. I'm a planner. So I'm not like you. You just do it, Do things like bam. I'm gonna do it, let's do it, but I'm not like that. I have to plan it out, write it out, and I got to feel it too.
Speaker 2So, I can't just go on my phone and give them a note. I gotta feel it and write it.
Speaker 1Oh, you gotta get some, some papyrus or something like that and wax and the paper and the feather pen.
Speaker 2Okay, You're too much.
Speaker 1Okay, so what do you need? Any help doing anything? What?
Speaker 2you thinking. Maybe I need a cameraman, but what are your goals?
Speaker 1Wait a minute, this is my show. I'm telling you. You know what I'm saying. One for the wake, one for the work, for my guests, not me.
Speaker 2We talk about that later. Oh, okay, okay, on my YouTube channel.
Speaker 1But I would like to, you know, just continue to have, you know, high quality caffeinated conversations and grow the brand to the point where I'm getting involved in more than just podcasting. You know, I want to do the merch I want to do, potentially launch my own coffee line. I've been talking with an individual you know that has contacts in Central America and he was telling me about a farmer in Honduras and how he's got this great mission with the coffee and maybe about learning about, you know, roasting my own beans and, you know, just seeing where that will go.
Speaker 1I would like to be on other influencers, for, as podcasters, you know, get to a point where I could talk about my podcast or what I'm doing and you know as well as talk about what they're doing. So, yeah, we got a couple of things you know.
Speaker 2Nice, nice, nice. Yeah, you always thinking about something. Yeah, you like to be in front. I mean, you're a social person. I can't take that from you, but me, on the other hand, I got to work at that thing.
Speaker 1I think the first step is just acknowledging that you be comfortable being uncomfortable.
Speaker 1Because, it might seem like I'm a social person, but certain things bring me discomfort, but I already know it's kind of like when you played. When I played football, it was like you get the, you get the butterflies or the jitters, and then when they, when they once they, they kicked the ball off and I was time to hit. So I get the same feeling every time, though, but I know that that feeling is coming and I just don't let it just keep me in that one position. I know that, okay, I'm gonna feel like this, I'm gonna be anxious, I'm gonna be unsure, but then, man, when they kicked the ball, that whistle blow, or when that camera comes on, I know I got to get past that feeling to convey what I think is important.
Speaker 2Growth is uncomfortable.
Speaker 1Yes, yes, man. So I just really want to thank you for coming. It's not gonna be your last time. I mean, maybe I'll be on your podcast one day, or your content, because you know, I hope you hold on to that name, though you know I'm two cups and you Mokomaya.
Speaker 2I'll be there.
Speaker 1So once again, just thank you. You know I love you and just really appreciate everything that you bring to my life and how you've been with me you know, still by me over the years and I had a lot of ideas and a lot of things that didn't get off the ground, but you know you still there.
Speaker 2But here we are. Yes, ma'am, oh.
Speaker 1God, oh God. So just to all my viewers and all my listeners, I would just like to encourage you. You know, the Bible says that he who finds the wife finds the good thing and obtain favor from the Lord, and I've definitely been walking in his favor and I just appreciated it with that and man, till next time. I just like encourage you to like to subscribe to proves around and grab your little merch, grab your coffee cup, grab you a shirt and we'll be coming back with more, highly, highly, highly, highly, highly qualitative I don't know if that's a word, but high quality caffeinated conversation. See, I'm already into my third cup. So Mike was talking about the jitters, but I'm just excited and I'm just so appreciative. Until next time, two cups.
