Rebecca Del Pozo Follow-up Conversation: From Struggling to Thriving

From Struggling to Thriving: The Power of Choice in Your Adoption Story "

Single mom struggle. I'm just going to struggle. This is going to be my story." 

Until one day, Rebecca Del Pozo said: "Nope. It can be different." 

In this deeply personal follow-up conversation, Rebecca Del Pozo shares how she transformed her mindset from scarcity to abundance—and how you can too. 

In this episode, discover: 

• Why being rooted in truth and love creates an unshakeable foundation 
• The surprising connection between trust and financial success 
• How to "act as if" you're already the person you want to become 

The simple question that changed everything: "Is that really true?"

Whether you're an adoptee, in the foster care system, or simply someone who's ever felt like they don't belong—this conversation will remind you that you have the power to choose your story. 

"We have so much power in the way we think about ourselves and in the way that we approach other people. We have choice to decide—today's going to be different than yesterday."

Transcript

Speaker: 0:07

Welcome. I'm an international adoptee and host of the Anna Jinja Show who believes that we all experience adoption in our lives. We actively choose the people, values, and experiences that create who we are and who we are yet to be. And this is why I invite you to listen to the guests and creative content that guide us to knowing that we each have a home in this world, cradled in the belief that we belong, that we are worthy, and that we are loved. So stay tuned and you may discover your own adoption story. We had a recording last week with Rebecca, and I felt like there were so many things I wanted to ask and I didn't get to say because we were under the constraints of being 28 minutes and that's it. I thought it was such a compelling conversation that I thought we could just follow up and have a convers, an easy breezy conversation. So Rebecca, thank you so much for joining me again.

Speaker 1: 0:57

Thanks for having me. Would you mind doing a little intro of yourself? I'm Rebecca, and I was adopted at birth and later in life adopted. And now it's my passion to help people build wealth through real estate. And so that's what I do. I sell residential real estate and then travel and teach classes on mindset and wealth building.

Speaker: 1:19

And what do you remember most about that recording? What what did you think about after that conversation?

Speaker 1: 1:26

It was just really it was enlightening to realize how many things we have in common with total strangers, right? It was like to to talk it through and just hear about people's life experiences is so powerful because our stories intertwine and and we yeah, we have we have so many similarities to people when we're willing to be honest and authentic.

Speaker: 1:53

One of the things, Rebecca, I wanted to follow up and ask you is that when I had said to you, I really felt like your story was rooted in truth and love, that the truth was always shared with you. There was nothing that was concealed about your adoption story or about the process. And then also the fact that you were loved, you knew that you were always loved. And I would say every time that you took a step, that there was transparency about what was happening. And then the other thread was your um your faith journey too that was woven through that. And so I wanted to talk just a little bit more with you, like whether or not you had thought about that and whether or not you feel that that is what gave you the foundation to be the person that you are today.

Speaker 1: 2:41

It was interesting when that came out the way it did, because I remember uh so like I'm 46 years old. And so growing up, we watched like uh Sally, Jesse, Raphael, all these different talk show hosts that would bring people on and they would drop this bomb on them that like you're adopted and you're not, you know, we've been lying to you for all these years. And I just remember like I was like, I can't even imagine what that would be like for someone having lived so when you said it that way, it it was like just such a reminder of what a gift I was given to have parents who chose to be honest with me from as from the beginning, right? And not to have secrets and not to have things hidden. And I I I don't know that I'd really ever seen it that way before. Um because that was the other part, like on those talk show, you know, I'm talking about they Oh yeah, I'm 52.

Speaker: 3:39

I remember them very well.

Speaker 1: 3:40

Yeah, and it was like, oh, there's this hole in my heart, and I I just want to find these people or whatever. And I just didn't always relate to that part of it so much because I felt loved in my my upbringing and experience. I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you to my birth mom for giving me life. So my first thing was like, I just want to meet her and say thank you, you know. Um, so anyway, in in talking with you, it definitely brought up a lot of different memories and and made me so grateful.

Speaker: 4:19

Yeah, and what were some of the memories that emerged after the conversation that you might have forgotten or just slipped in the background?

Speaker 1: 4:26

Just little things like I remember um I I don't know why, this one instance we were in the mall, my dad and I, and people would stop and be like, Oh, hey Brian, it's great to see you. Gosh, your daughter looks so much like you. And liter later we'd kind of walk away and giggle and he'd squeeze my hand, because we, you know, we don't have any resemblance, or maybe we do. When I met my biological family, I didn't see any resemblance to any of them. I actually thought, like, is this for real? Like, um, so anyway, that was a memory that popped up for me was um that people would make comments like that, and it just kind of was was special. Um and then the other one was hands. I just had this fascination. My mom's hands looked like my grandma's hands, and I'd always compare people's hands. And I thought that maybe one day when I meet, you know, my blood-related family, I'd find a twin or my what's the doppelganger, right? Like, or someone that would be my hand twin, right? That never happened either, right? I never, never found that. But what I did find was um such a sweet friendship with Jane, my birth mom, and just some really unspoken connections of times, even, you know, where she's strong on my mind, and I'll call her or text her, and she's like, How did you know to call me? Or what what what was that? Or she'll do the same sometimes. So it just it it made me really grateful. Yeah.

Speaker: 6:02

Oh, I love that. Thank you for sharing that. And but then I love your other story because I'm adopted from Korea. My birth or my adoptive family are Norwegian, English. I I definitely looked adopted, let me just tell you. But people would say, Oh, you look just like your mom. And we're like, What? How is that? That's not even possible. But it's just like how your brain fills in the gaps and just like, yes, of course, this is a family unit. This is a mother and daughter, this is a father and a daughter. And so in some of those ways, it's that connection that we have with each other that is more important sometimes than the physical connections.

Speaker 1: 6:44

Yeah.

unknown: 6:45

Yeah.

Speaker: 6:46

Or not more important, I shouldn't say, but important.

Speaker 1: 6:49

Important and just different too. Like, yeah, my I have music in common with so many of my adoptive family. And so I was like, well, I sing and I play by ear, and surely someone in, you know, my biological family, nope, haven't found anybody yet. I'm always asking, like, does anyone sing? Does anyone play anything? So it's just so interesting, too, like the environment and the impact it has on who we become.

Speaker: 7:19

Well, yeah, my voice too sounds exactly like my mom and my sister who's a biological child. So whenever we would answer the phone, people like Terry, Simone, nope, this is Anna.

Speaker 1: 7:34

Mm-hmm. Definitely.

Speaker: 7:37

Well, I wanted to go back again to the your beginning and the foundation of who you are. Your story is rooted in trust and that you could trust the people that loved you, that they genuinely had your back. And so for those who don't have that, who are have the mystery, or they haven't been told that they're adopted, that broken trust seems to be the thing that breaks us apart from feeling that we belong and that we matter. So I wanted to ask you a little bit about that because you do so much to talk to other adoptees about finding their story, embracing themselves, and finding financial abundance. And so do you feel like there's a connection between trust and relationships and being successful?

Speaker 1: 8:26

I definitely do. And I, as you were saying that, what came to mind was like be the change you want to see. So like if you haven't felt like someone has your back, go and have someone's back. Like, go be the thing you want. Um does that make sense? Like, yeah, and so it like even in business, there are many times when I'm I'm coaching or training and and I'll ask the question, like this is just a simple example, but like, okay, show of hands, who in the room would like more Google reviews? Oh, yeah, I mean business owners, everybody wants more Google reviews, right? We know that that's where there's validation that exists online, right? Okay, so how many Google reviews have you given in the last 24 hours? And it's like there is an opportunity for us to go be what it is, we like go be the change we want to see. And so, so that was just a tangible way. It's like, okay, you're right. Like, I have house cleaner that I work with, a contractor in our world, like carpet cleaners. Have I gone and left them a Google review? So just that really simple act of if you identify, like, I don't feel like someone has my back, or I don't feel like that person has shown me what trustworthiness really truly is, like, go find someone and be that way. Act as if you've already been the recipient of it and start giving that. And that that for me, I guess, is what has been a huge part of my journey is if I don't feel like I've received something or I don't feel worthy of something, I act as if I I am.

Speaker: 10:16

Wow, that just blew my mind. Because I thought I knew where you were going with that, but I love that so much. So what I'm hearing you say is not is about choice of choosing how am I going to use this information and what I'm feeling and other external factors determining whether or not I feel good about myself, but really saying, so if I want to feel good about myself and to build trust, then I need to be able to be trusting of others and to be uh what am I trying to say?

Speaker 1: 10:48

Am I fall am I on the right path? Absolutely, because I feel like that's it. Like in in different aspects of my life and different seasons of my life, that's what I'll do. I'll go into that place and imagine it. Imagine myself as as loved and wanted, and that everyone around me has my back. That version of me, how would she be acting? How would she be carrying out her her her decision making? And so that acting as if it's already true, now you're tapping into it and you're able to be that for other people. Ooh, I love that.

Speaker: 11:29

What is it about real estate that you love?

Speaker 1: 11:32

Honestly, the reason I got into it was I had a horrible buying experience myself. And I just was like, I've got to go save other people from feeling the way I feel right now.

Speaker: 11:42

Yeah, so it's that choice of like being the thing that you want to be in the world. And here's this house that's perfect for you. Matchmaking.

Speaker 1: 11:50

Yeah, it's exactly it. Matchmaking. It's like they either like it or they don't, and I just have to ask better questions to help them find the right match.

Speaker: 12:00

Okay. And then what are the three core principles of your coaching?

Speaker 1: 12:04

It's real, fun, and authentic. So it's it's very much this is yeah, this is real life, Rebecca. And how I was able to get over this hurdle or get over this challenge, let's figure out a way for you too as well.

Speaker: 12:22

Yeah, and a path to success. So I'm gonna ask you to take those same coaching principles for those that are adoptees who are struggling. How how would you coach somebody from feeling neglected, abandoned, rejected to feeling successful in their personal life as an adoptee?

Speaker 1: 12:41

Yeah, I think there is a time and a place to be real and to be authentic about the way that you feel. And you can't always go back and well, we can't go back and change the past. We can only change today moving forward. And so I think it's important for them to find a safe place to share. And that's what you're creating. That's why I was so like can just so excited to connect with you because just talking and thinking and reflecting about our own stories, that's such a gift. So it's it's then okay, knowing what I know, how am I going to move forward now? How can I, how can I bring in forgiveness, acceptance, and now moving forward, what what decisions can I make so that it's you know, onward and upward from here.

Speaker: 13:34

And so what are the things that hold people back?

Speaker 1: 13:38

Oh yeah. Time and time again, it is lack of accountability and a coach. They don't have someone in their corner telling them, hey, don't do this, don't do that, do this, cheering them on when they have wins. You know, um uh I think a lot of times it's that they just haven't had someone like a mentor to be honest with them, because in every other aspect of business or job, you show up and you get paid every two weeks. You work every day and then you get paid every two weeks. In real estate, the cadence of how you show up and how you get paid is completely opposite. And so people don't know financially how to plan or prepare for that. So that's a lot of what we do is we help people with just real life scenarios of like, how are you going to make this work? So that's what I would say is a lack of a mentor or coach, and then just this unrealistic expectation of of uh breaking out of that employee mindset, I guess.

Speaker: 14:46

Yeah, that's tough because it really you're becoming an entrepreneur.

Speaker 1: 14:50

Yes. And I and you're unemployed every single day. Like I wake up unemployed every single day and I decide if I'm worthy of being compensated or not based on the decisions I make, the actions I take, like what I end up doing throughout my day, right? And so when you've when all you've known is that if I show up, I get paid, and then you move into that world of being self-employed, it is shocking.

unknown: 15:19

Yeah.

Speaker: 15:20

And I think that what you said about am I worthy? And that piece of like, am I worthy in your world to be a real estate agent, to have financial abundance? And if the really secret deep down in there is that I'm not worthy, that is going to stop you from overcoming any of those barriers to be able to move you forward. Very true. Very true. Yeah. So what I'm hearing you say too is having an accountability partner, whether that's a mentor or anybody, to be able to help move you forward is to remind you of the tools that are just the practical parts of being a real estate agent of this is how you get paid, this is how you do an open house, this is how you close a deal. To you got this. You're okay. You're like, this is might be a bad day. You might have brought the wrong keys to the open house, but you're gonna, you're gonna get through it. You got the keys.

Speaker 1: 16:16

Exactly. It's so well said. Because it is, it's like 90% mindset, 10% skill. So it's like you just you've got to get your head in the right space. And many times it's hard to do that for yourself. You need someone else to just be like, it's all right, keep going.

Speaker: 16:35

Yeah, and we couldn't have planned this, although I was hoping this conversation would move this way, because for all those adoptees or those that are in the foster care system, even though Rebecca is talking about real estate and business opportunities, it applies to you. So if you're feeling like I don't have what it takes to be able to be successful in this world, to get through my schoolwork, to get through life or a relationship or to make it through the first semester of classes. So get yourself a mentor. Get yourself somebody that will say to you, I I also liked what Rebecca said about someone who's honest. So if you're just sitting around and just say, you know, I'm wishing for financial abundance and it's gonna come down and rain on you, it's not gonna happen, people. It's not. You got to do the work. And also you I love the fun part because you mentioned the fun part of finding the joy and fun and doing the hard work.

Speaker 1: 17:32

Like when you were saying I brought the wrong keys to the open house, I'm like, guilty, done that, drop the key, through the deck slats, jigging in the dirt, finding the key. Like if you can't laugh at yourself and find the fun in some of the crazy, um, then we yeah, we won't get along very well.

Speaker: 17:51

Yeah. I love that sense of humor because things always will go wrong. And people will and I will say, people will say the wrong thing that will hurt cause hurt and harm. I've had so many people say to me, What are you? I've or you're that's not your sister. There have been times when I've said, I don't want her to be my sister, she's annoying. Uh, but all those things are like a million paper cuts. And so I think going back to what you said and what I had a feeling this conversation would evolve into, you really have a choice. You have a choice, even if you come from a place of just terrific trauma and pain and feelings of rejection, that you can be, you can choose how do you want to be in this world. And then the next person that comes in your path that says, I'm feeling miserable, I am not worthy, or they're probably not gonna say that. They're gonna say, Oh, I suck, I just like brought the wrong keys, I'm so stupid, I hate myself. You can be the change and say, I think you're okay. And then maybe that's not the right house for them, and maybe it's an opportunity to learn something new about that person that you can help them make the right choice of whether or not this is the house for them. He got this, and be the exact opposite of, yeah, you suck. You shouldn't even go into real estate. In fact, you know what you should do? You should just go home. I bet you don't coach your people that way.

Speaker 1: 19:18

No, that's for sure. I think that's it. I mean, the one thing that's guaranteed is life is full of unexpecteds, right? I mean, and uh I've gone through a lot of of different unexpecteds. And you know, the one that came to mind as you were just sharing that was you know, going through a divorce. I didn't see it coming, it wasn't fun, and and yet there came a day where I just was like, single mom struggle, single mom struggle. I'm just gonna struggle. Like this is gonna be my story. And I just I just remember going, uh no. Nope. Can be different. There are successful single moms. I just need to go find a few. I need to go and f identify someone who can tell me a different story than what I'm believing right now. Right. And and it ended up being a very powerful reset. I get to reinvent, redesign, I get to decide today, moving forward, who am I? What kind of what kind of person am I today? And so I think that's it. It really is. It comes down to our our choice.

Speaker: 20:32

So do you remember the moment when you said no, that that's not how it's gonna be? Was there something that happened before that or just evolved into a couple of years? Yeah, I know.

Speaker 1: 20:42

There was a very vivid moment. It was a coach calling me out. She's like, is that really true? I said, Yes, single mom struggle. She said, Is that ultimately true for everyone in the world? And I said, no. And she said, okay, great. Then that means you just need to go find a few that will tell you a different story. And I remember Googling it, successful single mom. And I didn't know these people. I didn't know, and these pictures of different women and blogs and videos and different things started popping up. And I was like, okay, there are people out there that have a different story. What would that look like for me if it was just the opposite of single mom struggle? And that's how my millionaire real estate moms came about. Because I was like, well, what's the opposite of a struggling single mom? Well, a millionaire real estate mom would be fantastic, right? And so then I just started envisioning like what would that look like and how would she act? How would she talk? How would she, you know, move about her life? And um, so I started daydreaming up, you know, who might that be for me. And so I I I think that's it. It's like we have so much power in the way we think about ourselves and in the way that we approach other people. And and we have choice to decide, like, yeah, today's gonna be different than yesterday.

Speaker: 22:13

Again, another mind blowing. I'm gonna selfishly take that and think about that for myself, but also um for you out there who's listening and saying, I'm the abandoned, rejected, adoptee, I am the broken, I am the rejected, I am the uh one that has been harmed in the foster care system, and I'm just a foster care that kid that nobody wants. Is that true? Is that true? And then finding and searching for what is a different story and a different pathway, because that's part of your story, but then it's not your whole entire story, and it's not the end of your story, and so you keep on going. I think that's so powerful, Rebecca. I really think that is a a powerful way to think about how do we take those things that we don't want, a divorce, maybe it's a um a diagnosis or situation and turn it into something that is different. And that's not to minimize that it sucks. Yeah. What are you celebrating at your 50th wedding anniversary? And I remember thinking it is going to be that I endured 50 years, and not all of it was bad, right? Right. But but just uh the struggle. It wouldn't be a celebration of love and like just celebrating the best of each other. It would be like he put up with me, I put up with him, here we go. And now I've got cake and I've got balloons and the mementos, and it's it means nothing.

Speaker 1: 23:42

Right. Yeah, so powerful.

Speaker: 23:45

Yeah, and that's why I love you are not alone, and you can't do it alone. You have to do it with people who have like gone ahead of you to be able to like figure out like what you did research, like what does successful single mom look like? Oh, well, here you go. Here's somebody who's like a millionaire and teaching others to be able to be because I don't think it's just about the job. It's about giving people the confidence to be able to say, I got this, and wow, I'm like, I really can do this. And thank you, and building community and connection.

Speaker 1: 24:18

Yeah, that's so good.

Speaker: 24:20

And I'm gonna start with the beginning of what you said is that there are differences that we have, very unique things, which is why I do this podcast to be able to match musicians and poets to these stories, because I think we focus sometimes so much on what we don't have in common or those things that separate us and those labels that separate us. And in the end, it is that we want to be loved, that we want to belong, that we want to be successful, and to figure out who we're supposed to be in this world, and that's what brings us together. So you might say, I have nothing in common with Colin, and yet he wrote the most beautiful lines for you that captured your faith, your journey, and the love in ways that he couldn't even have imagined.

Speaker 1: 25:07

It's incredible.

Speaker: 25:09

Yeah, it's a beautiful world that we live in. It's certainly challenging and full of heartbreak, but it is the way that I can say to you, I see your hurt, I see your pain, and I'm gonna hug you if you want to hug. If you don't want to hug, I won't hug you, but you are not al alone.

Speaker 1: 25:28

It's such a gift for people to have that space. Like that's that's what I just so admire about what you're doing, is you're creating a place for people to feel loved and accepted and yeah, they're seen.

Speaker: 25:42

Oh, I appreciate that. I admire you, Rebecca. Truly. So, Rebecca, what else am I missing?

Speaker 1: 25:47

What else are we missing? I I just yeah, I would love the opportunity to to come and teach, to speak, to pour into anyone that's needing that encouragement or mentorship. Um, just always looking to make friends and connect with people. So thank you so much for this opportunity.

Speaker: 26:09

Yeah, well, let me just ask, um, so how do you accept new coaching clients? What is the process? How do people reach out and find you?

Speaker 1: 26:17

Yeah, at rebecadelpozo.com, um, I've got a coaching page and we've got a free Facebook community of moms in real estate or those who are wanting to get into the business. You can connect with me there, um, you know, and I'm happy to talk to anyone who's interested.

Speaker: 26:35

Okay, and give us one tiny step that we can take after we finish today's conversation.

Speaker 1: 26:42

Well, I think it would be to share this. So someone comes to mind as you've been listening, share this with them and ask them to listen to it and then have them share their thoughts with you because that's the connection point, then is going deeper in that friendship or relationship. So that would be the baby step I would recommend.

Speaker: 27:02

I really like that baby step for obvious reasons. And the tiny step that I'm gonna take that I really loved is the Google review and thinking about the people that I employ to help make my life better and do a Google review. That's so easy. Love that. I can do that. Well, Rebecca, I want to thank you so much for this follow-up conversation. I encourage everybody to, after you listen to this one, to be able to tune in to the Anna Ginja show. So thank you, Rebecca. Thanks so much for having me, Anna. Our creative and editing team includes Madie, Linnea, Ryan, and Mia, and our music producer is Nick Kizirnis, who's been writing genre twisting songs for over 30 years, including this show's theme song, Way to Me. And I'm your host, Anna Jinja, signing off with a reminder that the key to unlocking all things good in this world is love. Here you are loved and you are home. Always a friend and fan, this is Anna Jinja, wishing you days filled with love, laughter, and peace.