Season 3. Episode 6 Straight talk about money for all ages from Financial Coach Melinda Hartrum

Melinda has been there -- despite having an MBA and making a great salary, she was basically broke. Something clicked though when her high school Freshman son told her some things he had learned in his Finacial LIteracy class. It basically changed their lives, and later her extended families' lives and friends' lives.
Melinda had found her true calling -- to help people get control of their finances and thrive.

This episode contains great nuggets of information from Melinda.
She shares great tips for all of us about money and how we handle it.

Here are her five tips she shared at the end of our interview:

Wealthy Kids Roadmap

Earn more than you spend - $500 EF
Plan ahead for things that you want
Build you $3k-$6k emergency fund

Invest for the long-term

Grow & Give

You can reach Melinda at: 
Coach Melinda
HFC
484-619-2445

www.hartrumfinancialcoaching.com

Schedule a coaching session: calendly.com/coachhartrum

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Transcript

Unknown: 0:15

Hi, everyone, and welcome back to the BW nice voice Podcast. Today, I am joined by my co host, Lynne Thompson, and our wonderful guests, Melinda heart drum. Lynne, why don't you tell everyone give us a little bit of background on Melinda? Well, we're really excited to talk to our guest today because she is from Hunterdon County, our home chapter and now she's in Burlington County BW nice. And she's starting up a chapter there. And I'm very excited to hear that because the more the merrier. She's a financial coach. And she still works full time as a director of operations for a real estate company. So she's really busy. But she's been the head heart drum financial coaching for seven years. Today, she's going to share with us about money, children and wealth. And I'm going to take notes because it sounds really helpful. So welcome, Belinda. Hi, how are ya? Really good to have you. Yeah. How are you happy? Thank you. I'm great. I'm great. It's a TGIF kind of day. So I'm looking for is a rainy TGIF kind of daddy. It's like, perfect. Yeah, it's a perfect TGIF. So Melinda, why don't we start by you giving us a little background of how you even got into financial coaching, since it's not what you do full time. Even though, you know, could be related, but had that had that start happy to help. Give me some clarity on that. That one is just crazy. It's my moment of confession, I was a complete and utter mess. When it comes to money. Just would watch it just fall through my fingers. Like water. I was making over $100,000 a year at my job very successful with my career. Just recently faced with a divorce situation. And it just came, kept hitting me over and over and over with accounts getting levied and not being able to get a car loan and all of these crazy things. And I was chatting with my son one day whose us was at the time a student of 100 in North Hunterdon County High School. So he said to me, man, you make a lot of money, right? And I looked at him and I thought, yeah, and you know, what do you want, you know, full attitude. I'm not buying you anything. So he said, Mom, I'm taking this class in school. And my teacher says you probably make too much money broke all the time. Whoa, I could still feel the shame. It was hard, you know, I little cute little ninth grader sound look at me in the face with this, you know, meeting wanting to know and wondering if his teacher was right. And I just said to him, you're right. Like, what do you mean? And so he said, we have this book in school. And I'm learning and I said, Give me the book. Like, I need to know. So that started that conversation was the big change for our family. And a lot of people around me and my first client was myself. It took me a couple of years to get my things in order, and finally started to get traction. And when I started to get traction, I got really excited and wanted to tell everybody else like if you could do these things, you don't have to be a mess like I was in so started informally coaching the people that I love, even if they didn't want me to want to spend money on a vacation and I would say, but if you do it this way. So that's probably how it all got started. Then, you know, I took formal education and I've been playing the game ever since and loving every minute of it. I have to ask you though, what did you do what were like the first steps that you took? I know exactly. Finland is what we used to call it right financial literacy course I thought it was stupid that they took it as freshmen. Although kudos to your son. I feel like they knew it more as seniors as they were stepping out onto their into their own money life for the first time. I agree. So was it one thing in the book that kind of made you say, Hey, this is something I can try that I'm not doing or you know, what was your first step? Yeah, so the principles were related off of a company called Ramsey solutions. So Dave Ramsey's financial gurus been around the block for 30 years. The first book I read was Financial Peace University. And the second book I read was Total Money Makeover. And the first thing that they tell you to do is to start to budget, like to know, what you're spending money on what you're making and understand where the money is going. And to set up in that first step, your first $1,000 emergency fund, so I was making$100,000 a year and I had zero, I had negative, you know, in my accounts, they literally levied my bank account for the last$300 that I had. So I didn't have money until my next paycheck for anything. And I had two kids to take care of on my own. So the budgeting part was like, okay, I can do this. I didn't tell you earlier that I also have a master's degree in business and project management. So I really should have known how to do this, but I just didn't do it for myself. And so that's where I started, I just started to pay attention to what was coming in and what was going on and planning and that first$1,000 emergency fund was like a miracle tool, like, actually having something to go to when life happens, instead of grabbing the credit card and go on further into debt. So just those two things can change your life financially. And I think it's so great that you've been through this, and it makes it so much more valuable. People trust your advice in a way that they they wouldn't if you just learned it. It's very personal. And I really admire that you listen to your son, we don't always listen to our ninth grade sons. No, I'm like, I remember the moment I remember where he was standing. I remember where I was sitting, I remember the feeling. And, you know, I know that like there are certain points in life, we can all look back and say that was the pivotal moment that was the pivotal, pivotal moment. And so I'm so grateful, like, I don't even know the teacher's name. But I'm so grateful for the teacher who brought that to the school and taught those kids and Debbie, like you said, My daughter even said, I took that class because she's a year ahead of him. And he and I started to get really into it like by their 11th grade 12th grade and they knew moment. This is what mom's about. And she said, I wish I would have gotten that in senior year now freshman year, because attention, you know, and I you're right with all the stuff, but I just didn't pay attention. That's a good point. I think maybe they should. Yeah. Because there's such a change from ninth grade to 12. You know, you're so much more mature it in senior year. And you're really looking ahead. Yeah, and you need to learn those lessons. And I've heard horror stories, we had a friend who they set aside a certain amount of money for their daughter, and she ran through it in like two months was supposed to be for the whole year. She went off to college, because she had never had to budget and she had never had her own money. And I remember just being shocked. And not every kid is like that, but we definitely need it. I think our kids need it. We need it. Definitely, we could do it better. And so then when you started coaching, you had success of your own. And then you said okay, now I can actually charge for this. Yeah, and help other people. How did you find those other people? And, you know, I'm just curious. And maybe this is a rude question. How do people who already have money problems find the money to be able to pay a coach? Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's good question. So let's start back. The other fun story about this whole thing is part of why I'm actually coach and why I went through the education process through Ramsey they have financial coach Master Training Program was COVID, the pandemic, I'm sitting at home, my kids are older on board L, in my mind, I have nothing to do if I'm not allowed to leave the house. So I was like, let me just take this class. And I'll just take this class for my own knowledge to be better and stronger for my own financial journey. And in the middle of it. I was like we I can actually help people, like in there's a process, and there's a way that I can do this. And so instead of just harassing my friends and family, so I took that class, and that's what started the coaching business. And they they brought me in through the process of bringing in leads and teaching you how to do the process of coaching and having those conversations and all of that. And so, you know, I've spent a lot of time in education from various things over since starting since that first moment. And really, the people have to come to you really wanting to have that improvement. And when you sit down with them as a coach and they engage and they take the leap of paying your fee, whatever your fee is, you really need to believe that you're going to be able to find improvement in what they're doing that's going to provide value to them. And I've never not been able to do that it's usually 1020 times fold. Even if it's not like physical dollars, sometimes it's just emotion. It's stress relief. It's clarity about where they want to go on the future. Yeah, I find myself having conversations with people. I just yesterday was a career counseling conversation with someone like, what do you want to do and negotiating your for your salary? And what questions are you going to ask and let's do a mock interview so that they can go prepared to understand what they're worth and how they're going to ask for that worth. So it really, it really covers a gamut of things. And like that conversation, she hasn't had it yet. It could be a $10,000 win for her and her salary if she gets it. So sometimes it's a little bit of that and just physical, like, let's look at what your monthly expenses are, do you really need to spend $200 In subscriptions every month, you know, when was the last time you were actually at the gym that you pay $120 for whatever. So having that, that outside perspective can be really helpful for people. And part of it really is relationship building. You know, you said, Lynne, you've so relatable, because I've been through it and all that stuff. I don't think that there's a lot of people in the world who are gonna like go back to the old school phone book, and call some random person that they never met and say, Can you can you look at all my financial situations personal and accounts and, and give me advice, a lot of people aren't going to do that. It's through referrals. It's through a trusted person who either got results or knows me personally, who can who can pave that way and say, you can trust her, you know, she's not going to try to take you or hurt you in any way. So it is really a it's a people building business. And it's relationship building. And I think I agree, I certainly agree with you. As far as I know, for myself, I've had my own money, shame secret. And to be able, if, if I had not put it out there yet, publicly, I would be embarrassed to go to a money coach, right. But to go to somebody who I know, was in my shoes and knows how I feel. makes all the difference, right? Because then I have the trust that they're not going to shame me or make me feel bad because I feel bad enough as it is. And it's difficult enough to come to you like you said, they're basically at their breaking point realizing like, I've got to do something, but it's still embarrassing. And it's there's something so shameful about it. And I don't know what that is. And I feel like so many people have this secret shame. Maybe it's I don't know. I mean, I'm looking outside of my beautiful neighborhood. And it's like keeping up with the Joneses kind of thing, even though I don't feel that's the reason that I live here. But you know, it? I don't know, what do you think that is? And how do you break that cycle? Like I think about my parents, who I definitely feel we're keeping up with the Joneses. And OB always heard was, oh, well, they own their own business. So they're so lucky, they have so much money, you know, like, that's all we ever heard. And then it was the hardship struggle, and watching my father literally have a stroke at 45 years old from the stress of money. Yeah, it is one of the most interesting topics, it's very intimate. And it's very, like, ingrained in who we are. You're so you're learning your money lessons as it as a baby, you know, you're learning it, we can't buy that, because we don't have any money. You're learning it early, early, early on, and then we create as a culture, we equate, you know, net worth with personal worth. And so that's a lot of the shame that's built around that. And so it's hard even for me like to like admit, you know, MBA student, top of my class $100,000 A year running our whole entire division. And being broke, you know, just doesn't make sense. It doesn't make any sense. And so it goes back to like, we are not taught this. And women aren't taught a lot. We're even worse. You know, you know, the boys are better at math. And they're taught to take risks that women aren't taught to take, and it's starting to change and that's part of why we're out here talking about it. But there's a lot that we have to uncover. So a big part of like the coaching process, for me is that tactical and practical like look at your subscription And, but it's also that mental and understanding why you do what you do so that you don't do it again, and so that you can break those cycles. And I'm not a counselor, I'm just a human who's been through life and can and studied this stuff. So when I talk to people, I just kind of bring that up. And I really do rely on my instinct and my intuition and that little voice in my head that says, Ask that hard question, or now they need something gentle right now. And so far, my instinct has served me pretty well with people. So that's good. I love how personal you are, I think that helps so much. And you're insane. You're right, Debbie. I mean, we had it. I love your approach. Like, I love that you show people, there's a there's a set of steps, there's a way out of this. It's logical, and you can do it. Because I think a lot of us when we're in that shame place, just we don't know where to start. Yeah, and then going back to like, with the kids, you know, Ramsey often says, it's about belief. So like, I use some of the his things, I'm not a certified, I'm not a Ramsey prefer coach anymore. But he says it starts with belief, and it starts with hope. And that's the same thing as you take it to your kids, they need to believe that it's possible for them to build wealth, create savings accounts, to invest in the future, they need to understand that that's a possible course for them, they have to have hope that they can do it, and they can be different, no matter where you are. Either. They can be better than mom and dad, you know, or be just as good, you know, because they can follow those same, those same advice or the same steps that their parents took. But really making that conversation present for people is key. And we just don't know, we're not told that you know, it's go go to school, get a good job, you know, invest and you can retire when you're, you know, 6065, and nobody tells us what to do in between. And that's kind of where we get to the tactical steps, and do like a health check when people make them understand what their net worth really is. And what does that mean, today I'm involved really heavily with a new organization called Dale jeans. And we they are wonderful ladies, who started this company, and they focus on women plus, that's their demographic, that's our client base. And we really teach them all of that, and we're working on a new trend of it's not your net worth, it's your net wealth, it doesn't matter. It has nothing to do with your personal wealth, it's just even worth how it's just how much money you actually have, in your account. inspiration to really get to the kids, it's been a long time. Because I could see the difference between my kids who are 20 and 21, because they've been on the journey from the mass to the not mess with me. And they're like, nailing it. They're nailing it in life. My son is like, Rich. Yeah, he's got way more money than I say, he's also cheap as heck, you know, he's got he won't do anything unless I pay for it, which is, you know. So I know that there's not a lot of people who could say that, because their friends are not doing well, with money, you know, my son could travel around the world because he's has so much money in a savings account, his friends can't go with him. So um, this is an opportunity for us to keep the conversation going and help more people be better. So Melinda, I didn't finish up with the comment about going finally going to retirement specialists. They mapped out a plan for us, we know exactly where we're going to be when we retire exactly how much we're going to make exactly what we're going to do each month. And I can't even express I wanted to mention this because I think this is what you give your clients. My husband and I are so relieved. We're not worried. We know exactly where we are. We know exactly how long we have to work. Everything was worked out for us and that relief. I don't think you can put a price on that relief. And I feel like that's what you give people. Yeah, for sure. And I think that's a good segue for me to just share two distinct distinctions. One of the things is, the financial advisors are awesome for figuring out that future plan and the investment strategy and how to make your money grow and getting passive income. And understanding that and having a great resource or person, the team that you go to is invaluable. That's different from what I do. So I'll never tell you to invest in x, y, or z or pick this brokerage account. I'm just going to help you understand what they are. Like when you go to the guy or girl to talk about this. This is the kind of things that they'll talk about and here's the kind of things that you want to be prepared for it to understand so that people Will can have that conversation without the fear of like, it's too much and I don't understand numbers, and I can't, that's not me, I'm gonna help take away that for the for the people. And that's the other part is the the retirement fear is a big part of what sparks people to come like because we just it demystifies it, we have no idea. We know we have to retire, we're told that social security isn't going to be here, and it's not going to be in half. And but we don't really know what is going to happen. So a lot of that is like a lot of our client bases like that 34 to like 40 a demographic and they're like having that holy moment that something needs to change. Because I don't know what's going to happen or even, you know, a lot of people are divorced, and they think that they're going to be fine, because the spouse has the pension fund. And now all the sudden life cramp crumbles, and you don't have that anymore. And so that we do have a lot of conversations, a lot of people come to coaching because of that, that moment of reckoning, really? And it sounds like if you do it, right, there's always that emotional component. I mean, you said you're not trained as a counselor, but your instincts are good. And you do you offer that support. Yeah, and you gotta calm like, so like you said earlier, as long as you start, you're going to be better off than if you never did anything. So one of my most favorite clients is my sister. And she had you know, never in her life, you know, had a year where electric didn't get turned off, or she was stressing about how she was going to pay for a bill and just believe that that was going to be our future and had zero plan for how retirement was gonna happen. And you know, had all the things in life that happened a big layoff a divorce, raise two kids on our own, oh, those things. So I came along and was coaching her without her permission. And then she would say no, and then she'd go do it, you know, because she's my older sister, she's not going to listen to me. So when she started to do it, and she would be like, my oil bill is paid in advance. For the first time ever in my life. I don't have to worry about the heat getting turned up. And I would just be like, yes, you know. And so then we took it step by step. And to the point. Now she's 61. She knows what her retirement is. She knows where our money's coming. She knows what her goals are, you know, get the car paid off is happening this year, getting the roof fixed, so that she doesn't have a big bill in retirement, and five and six years. Like all of that planning is happening. She knows where her money is. And it's a huge relief for her and for me, because, you know, she's my big sister, but I just love her. And she's my best friend, and I want to make sure that she's taken care of. So you she was like, 58 When we started and had zero plan and lots of chaos. And not. That's not her life anymore. Wow, what an amazing story. That's wonderful. Yeah, I get that I have a younger brother. And I look at him. And I think, Gosh, I hope he doesn't wind up like my, you know, like our dad, just because of the stress because I see the money stress on his face. Yeah, and it's, it's tough. So let me ask you earlier when you were talking about your kids, and your kids are great savers, and that's fantastic. You know, I guess, is it ever too late? You know, did you spend the first part of their lives talking about how tight money was? And all of that, I assume because it was and then boom, you pivot when they're teenagers? And, you know, I guess obviously, they paid attention to what you did and how you changed and they just picked it up or, and also, I'm asking you too many things. How much do you share with your kids? You know what I mean? Like that's always been such a such a difficult thing. I remember bugging my parents all the time. Well, how much money do you make? I don't know why I needed to know. And it was like, we don't talk about that. We don't talk about that. The secrecy about money is so ingrained in our culture, and some cultures are even worse depending on where you're from. And it's, it's wild. And so there's like this money school, like where you were brought up from what your history was. A lot of people were in that secret world, and my kids were like that my mom showed me some things like she taught me how to pay bills, but I never knew how much money they made or any of that, but I knew how to write checks and how to pay bills. She didn't teach me that. So um, for my kids, they lived in scarcity, they knew that we couldn't do things because we didn't have money. They knew that there were times that the heat didn't go on, because I didn't have the money for the bill. They also saw me spend irresponsibly, when I did get a big check. And the whole thing was gone immediately, you know. So they saw that as part of my journey, I realized in order for them to change, I needed to tell them some stuff. And I think you can, it depends on what you tell a five year old is not the same, you could tell a 10 year old, you could tell like a 19 year old. And so they knew even till, like last year, that we were broke, because I really wanted them to understand the value of money, that you have to work for things that you have to have a plan for money. And we're not and we haven't been for a long time. And they now know that, but I wanted them to, to learn good money lessons. And so that's a decision that everybody has to make for themselves for their own family. But I I would love if we can, as a as a universe, start to open up and share a little bit more about people. So that clarity, and that mystery is not there. And people can understand how to do well with money. And it's in social media today, they get to see all of these things. And some of its good. And some of its bad, you know, the idea that you can be wealthy and not ever work. I don't know, one or two lucky people in the whole universe may have that experience. And so these kids watch these videos, and they think, Oh, I could sit on the beach in Bali, and I can get rich. You know, that's that's not right. But you could have a business and work, you know, nights, weekends or whatever, and get rich. So that part of it is true. It's just they make it seem like so much better and social media. So there's a little bit of like awareness to the topic, but also a little misinformation out there in the world. Yeah, yeah, I think I answered all those questions you have. I start talking, it's like, oh, wait a second, I got something else I got. It's multi layered. It says multi layered. I wanted to shout out to both of you, because you're both going to be speaking at the third annual women's empowerment conference. On September 14, I will be in the audience. I will be listening carefully. It's in Bridgewater, New Jersey. I'm very excited about it. Debbie, can you tell me briefly what you're going to be talking about? So I am going to be talking about unlocking your power by changing your thoughts. And then as soon as you do that, you'll go and listen to Melinda, who's gonna play? You're gonna focus on breaking the cycle, I think, right? Yeah, so for me, it's the ripple effects of money, kids and wealth. And so this whole idea of ripple effects has been floating around my brain for a little while and have my own little book in my head, Debbie two that I've been working on with that title. So it's the it's this thing, if that teacher at that high school didn't teach that class, or whoever brought that curriculum to North 100 In high school, didn't do that I would not be here talking to you today. And so these little things that happen have big impacts on the world. And I'm very clear about that. So me, doing well with my money has a lot of people in my world in my universe, doing better with money, because I'm talking about it, and they see me and they're like, What should I do, and then they do it. And so I just love that. And this ripple effect, you know, as we as women do better with money and take the reins and step into their power as leaders of their family, even if they are in a relationship where they don't have the access to the power or because the breadwinner is their spouse that happens like 70% of the time, they still can have control over what the children learn and how they understand their relationship with money. So I think when we do that, we're going to be the ripple effect, that's going to help all of these kids who live in poverty today not live in poverty in the future or have a better experience with money in the future. So what we're doing is future proofing the wealth of our generation and our children. Our kids are our, our descendants, meaning a legacy is much bigger than just coaching. It's touching a lot of lives. Yeah. Yeah, it's awesome. Fantastic. I love that. Well, as we wrap up anything that we didn't talk about Melinda that you might want to share. Yeah, I'm kicking around my when I'm calling the five steps or five stages to teach the children you know if you could teach them the thing, as part of the speech that we're working on for the women's power conference, women's empowerment conference, I want to just share the steps. And I think they're really good. Basics. So we talked about the first part earlier was that budgeting. And so I think for an adult, it's spend less than you make. For kids, I want to say, earn more than you spend. And it ties back into we have to work, we have to create value in the world, you have to earn money, so that you could spend it and I think we've switched that no matter where they are, they earn points on their chore boards to get special treats. That's really where we go. And then that first step will be for the kid to start their first emergency fund for themselves and understanding having a little cushion. So it could be 300, or 500, depending on the age of the kid. Then the next one is, for adults, we say, get out of debt, we got to get out of debt, we got to stop the debt cycle, because that's what holds us down as the anchor. For the kids, we want to say let's plan for future once. Let's put money aside for the things we want. So we pay for it and cash, not go into debt, and bargain with our future. So that's the switch there. For adults. The third step is to save your three to six month emergency fund. Again, you're protecting yourself from all the things in life that could happen, there's a job pandemic happens, you know, the roof goes out your emergency fund for kids, they should have an emergency fund to they should understand that they want to have a pile of money, that if something comes up that they need or want, they have it and they can go to it. So I'm saying three to 6000 in the emergency fund, depending on the age of the kid, and then it'll tie in when they get older to three to six months of expenses. And then the next one is for adults risk planning for retirement, like making sure you got retirement plan in place for yourself. For kids, it's invest in the future. So invest for your house, invest for college invest for a business that you want to build in the future or retirement. But I think when you're 10 or 15, or 20, you can't think about retirement, but you can think about investing for your future. And then the last one for adults is really building wealth and grow investing like to for passive income on the child on the children's side it's Grow and Give. So that combines a little bit of like what I'm working with, with my dad jeans team. And also the Ramsey thing. So you said the word legacy earlier, at the top of the pinnacle for Ramsey. It's when you when you reach wealth, the best part is that you can give it back you can help others you can change the world and women will change the world at the biggest rate. Because we impact we decide to give on social programs we invest our money towards helping other people as a as a demographic. So kids, when you grow your money, you get to give it you get to buy bikes for little kids who don't have them, you get to buy toys for kids for Christmas, that won't get any. So I think those five stages can be really good tools for kids to understand and follow. And like I said earlier, it starts with that belief. And that hope if even if you just tell them these things, and they just know them, they have a path for that future wealth building for themselves. Fantastic. Awesome. I think we'll put that in the show notes for sure. Like your Lego lover. Like how you break it out adults and children. It's really cool. Okay, yeah. I just thought of that this morning. So this one was a good wow. Right out of her head. Make tea this. Way to go. Well, thank you so much, Melinda, we really appreciate you sharing all of your wisdom with us and our audience. And all of your contact information will be in the show notes. And we look forward to seeing everyone on September 14 that the women's empowerment conference. Yeah, I just want to put a plug out there. You know, even if I wasn't speaking, I would still be going I went last year and it was a really great event for networking and inspiration and just good vibes. I mean, it's the best day you can spend all year with a bunch of ladies who are trying to do better in the world. So if you're watching, go ahead and register us registration is open now. We'd love to see you there. Sounds good. Thank you so much. Thank you guys.