Addiction: The Next Step

Running Towards Recovery: One Woman's Marathon Journey After Addiction

• NYS OASAS

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In this episode, we speak with Amy Menard, a marathon runner. Seven years ago, she was given six months to live. Diagnosed with acute alcoholic cirrhosis, her body was failing. But today, Amy is a multi-marathon finisher. This is a story of incredible resilience, hope and recovery. Join us as Amy shares her journey. Hear how she found recovery, discovered the joy of running.

Isabel Byon:

The New York State Office of Addiction Services and Supports, or OASAS, provides this podcast as a public service. Thoughts and opinions expressed do not necessarily represent or reflect those of the agency or state. This is Addiction. The Next Step.

Jerry Gretzinger:

Jerry Gretzinger, here again, your host for Addiction the Next Step. And we are coming to you from the offices of the New York State Office of Addiction Services and Supports. Today, on the podcast, we're going to be sharing a story, and it's a type of story that I love when we get the opportunity to share with you because it talks about, well, the message that recovery is possible and when you hear someone like me say it, it sounds nice. But when we hear it from someone whose situation that they were in, for all intents and purposes, seemed impossible to them, to those around them, that carries a lot of weight, and that's what we're hoping it's going to do today. I want to introduce you to Amy Menard. She joins us today. Amy, thanks for being here.

Amy Menard:

Thank you so much for having me.

Jerry Gretzinger:

Amy, tell us where you're from. You still live in Plattsburgh, is that right?

Amy Menard:

Yep, I'm up here in Plattsburgh, New York, you know, representing the North Country Recovery up here.

Jerry Gretzinger:

All right, happy to have you on the podcast and so you know I mentioned that you're in Plattsburgh and what you're doing up there and what you're working on lately. We'll start there is you are a marathon runner.

Amy Menard:

I am, I am a marathon runner, I am, I am a marathon yes, I am.

Amy Menard:

I can't believe I'm actually saying that, but yes, it's true.

Jerry Gretzinger:

And so let's get into why you say that's hard for you to believe that you're a marathon runner. I know you've done the Boston Marathon, you have other marathons on the horizon that you're working towards, and the reason this is remarkable. I mean, listen, I know people who run marathons and it's remarkable to see people do it, but when you think about where you've come from, what you've had to overcome to get to this point, that's what makes it truly remarkable. Amy, I know you had some experience, some history seriously, with using alcohol to a great extent, and some other substances as well, to the point where you were told you had only a short time to live. Take us through your story, okay. So let's go back to the point in your life where you started drinking and how that kind of you know snowballed.

Amy Menard:

Yeah it. You know it really didn't start off anything. You know, you hear this all the time teenagers starting to experiment with alcohol and maybe marijuana in high school, or even earlier for some people, but for me it was. I think I was around 16. So I was a junior in high school and, you know, just hanging out with friends and dibbling and dabbling a little bit with weekend drinking and smoking marijuana, and I found that pretty quickly for me those occasional instances of drinking turned into more common instances of drinking for me, , and that happened fairly quickly. Within the next year I was drinking with regularity and that to me kind of indicates, when I look back over my substance use history, that I probably was an alcoholic from the get-go. For me and this is not for everybody but for me alcoholism runs in my family, so I really didn't know much about anything having a problem with that. I just thought it was fun and something us teenagers were doing, you know.

Jerry Gretzinger:

So a family history of heavy alcohol use. You were aware of that, and so when you started to use alcohol more frequently, it was just something that you knew. You grew up knowing.

Amy Menard:

You know I mean me growing up in the late 70s and 80s. You know it was a different time than you know. Drinking and driving wasn't as, as it was, more prevalent than it is now. It wasn't deterred as much as it is now. So it kind of was just like the way things were, and so seeing people adults drinking and driving it really didn't, you know, faze me too much. But as I started to drink more, maybe my senior year in high school and then into college, I went to college when I was 17. And so being on that college campus at such a young age and I just went full force into drinking, became quite regular, at least four days a week.

Jerry Gretzinger:

And I know in looking at some of your information you shared with us too. It started with alcohol, but then you also ended up experimenting with other substances as well.

Amy Menard:

Yeah. So it's strange because I graduated second in my class in high school. I was a straight A student. I played classical clarinet and saxophone. For 15 years I was on soccer teams and tennis teams.

Amy Menard:

From the outside I looked very not like the poster child for alcoholism, and even going into college, I got a scholarship in college, an academic scholarship. I worked full time. I put myself through college, I was independent, had my own apartment my freshman year, and so all these things in my mind led me to believe that I was managing whatever substances I was using, you know, thursday through Sunday, because I was doing so good, you know I was getting A's in college, maintaining the job, maintaining the apartment and still being able to drink and dabble into these other substances. I didn't see anything as being unmanageable at that point. In fact, I thought I was, you know, in control of all of this. And so as college went on, you know, there was, you know experiments with LSD and mushrooms, a little bit of cocaine. Definitely the alcohol was the most prevalent thing. I didn't go too far down the rabbit hole with the other substances quite yet, but after I graduated college, I think I was 21 years old, I turned 21, my senior year of college, so I could finally legally drink in the bars, even though I had been doing so for many years before that.

Amy Menard:

And I graduated college and I ended up moving down to Connecticut. And when I got down there, you know, I got my first job post graduation and it was a good job and I ended up, you know, starting to use cocaine a little bit more with the alcohol and, and being down there was a lot different. So I'm a small town girl, you know. I'm from Plattsburgh. I went to school at SUNY Plattsburgh and being down in Connecticut was kind of a big wake-up call for me, because we're in the Bridgeport, Stanford, Fairfield areas and they're just bigger cities.

Amy Menard:

You know, there's a lot more people. The disparity in income is really off the charts. You've got super, super wealthy people and super, super people who are in poverty. And um, that was different for me and, uh, there was a lot more. There was a lot more drugs down there, um than I even could ever have imagined, and so it just became easy to get um and it, you know, just enabled me to be able to live that fast-paced life down in Connecticut. Um, that it is. You know, I was a financial analyst down there and I worked a lot of hours. You know it enabled me to function more, or so I thought.

Jerry Gretzinger:

And so you're in your 20s at that point right.

Amy Menard:

Yeah, early 20s.

Jerry Gretzinger:

Yeah, and you're working as a financial working as a financial analyst, you were telling us that you were using alcohol pretty heavily. You were then, you know, adding cocaine to the mix after dabbling with some other substances. So that's in your 20s. I know we mentioned earlier that there came a point when you got a message from a physician saying you've got six months to live. How did it go from, you know, in college, I know you said you were drinking like four days a week at least, and then, you know, going to Connecticut and it was, you know, adding more to it. When did you wind up at the point where you got that message from a doctor, and and what? What brought you to that point?

Amy Menard:

So that came. That came um in uh, around 2015, 2016. So many years later, I was in my um mid to late thirties. At that point, um, I had had two children and I I do want to um be uh transparent about one thing. During my pregnancies, I had developed such a tolerance and a need for the alcohol that I drank through both of my pregnancies, one of them less heavily than the other. But I think that's something that doesn't get talked about quite enough. As much as you know, the maternal instinct is in every woman and you want to protect your child. The power that alcohol has on an alcoholic it trumps any other feelings or responsibilities or anything else in your life. So you are weighing a human life that's developing, with the constant need for the alcohol, for the cravings that happen in your body. So, anyway, so I had two children. They are healthy and beautiful and wonderful.

Jerry Gretzinger:

So you were about how old when you had the kids. You said you were in your 30s when you had your children.

Amy Menard:

No, so my son. I was 23 years old, I was living in Connecticut, I had my son. He's an amazing kid oh my gosh, he's 22 now. And then I had my daughter when I was 33.

Jerry Gretzinger:

Okay.

Amy Menard:

And she's almost 13. And she's almost 13. But by the time I had had my daughter, I was, I was really, really starting to get sick. I was drinking pretty much 24 hours a day, around the clock. So what happened was, when I ended up moving from Connecticut to back to Plattsburgh, the drugs were just more than I could handle.

Amy Menard:

And I thought that and this is commonplace in addicts and alcoholics we think that if we move someplace else, or if we get a different job, or if we get a different partner or you know that old geographic cure, that the addiction or the alcoholism is going to go away. And so I thought you know, if I move back home, I won't want to use cocaine anymore. And that was the naive thoughts that were going through my mind. And when I moved back, you know, I did manage to put the cocaine down, and so I was addicted for about seven years to that.

Amy Menard:

But what happened when I put that drug down and I didn't have any intervention with that? There was no outpatient treatment, no rehab, no, no, nothing. I just had hit the surrender point for that particular substance. But what happened was the alcoholism really, really, really got entrenched and I started drinking in the mornings, drinking throughout the day, sleeping for a couple hours that night and then waking up and doing it all again, and that's what happened my entire 30s. Um, I got sober when I was 39, but what happened?

Jerry Gretzinger:

So it sounds like too you talked about how you started drinking in your teens. So that had pretty much been your lifestyle for about 20 years. Right. Before before you got some information, some some, I guess, some a dire warning from a physician that made you think, hey, wait a minute, something's going on here, I need to make a change.

Amy Menard:

I did In 2015, I was hospitalized. The hospitalization started happening after age 35. I started getting hospitalized a lot. I went to the ER a lot. I started getting really sick. I started developing jaundice. My face was yellow. My eyes were yellow. I gained a lot of weight via fluids. You start retaining fluids. I probably weighed 70 pounds more than I do now and I was very, very, very sick and some doctors refused to treat me and I ended up in the emergency room one night and there was this wonderful doctor his name is Dr Alte and I'll never forget him. He, him and my gastroenterologist, Dr Fady, really saved my life.

Amy Menard:

After I got sober, I ended up in the mental health unit for 40 days at our local hospital, because what was happening was I have a co-occurring mental illness, bipolar 1. And what was happening is I was treating my mental illness with medication as prescribed by my psychiatrist and but because of the amount of alcohol I was consuming, the medication wasn't being processed by my liver and was backing up into my body, which caused an overdose. It was it wasn't an intentional overdose, but because of my liver damage, it wasn't processing Um. So I ended up on the MH MHU for 40 days and after that I got out and I continued drinking and doing what I was doing. Um, and I ended up hospitalized again and they, they, they sat down with me and they said hey, listen, you know we've got a real problem here. Um, you have acute alcoholic cirrhosis and um, you're, you're very sick. Um, I had had several stomach taps at that point to drain excess fluid.

Amy Menard:

Um, like I said, many hospital visits and um, they said you're going to need a liver transplant. That's how badly damaged your liver is. They said, the only thing is you can't get on the transplant list unless you're at least six months sober. They like to see you more than six months sober. They like to see a pattern of sobriety. Obviously, if you're going to get somebody's organ, you know you have to. You have to show that you're going to be a good steward of that organ. And I, just I could. I could not. I could not get sober. I could not. I was. I was going to lose my family. You know my kids were going to lose their mom. I was going to lose my life and I for the life of me. Just, it would not click in for me to stop drinking.

Jerry Gretzinger:

And so I'm going to jump in here. I know I said at the beginning of the podcast that recovery is possible is a line that we love to hear people say, but it means so much more, coming from someone who at one point thought it was impossible. And I'm assuming from the way you're talking at that moment, when you got this message from the physicians, when you thought about your children, you thought about your family, at some point you must've thought it's impossible. Like you said, you couldn't put the drinks down right.

Jerry Gretzinger:

But now these years later you haven't had a transplant.

Jerry Gretzinger:

You haven't needed it, and I'm going to let you explain why.

Amy Menard:

Um, so I do want to mention um, yeah, so I, I I couldn't get sober. Um, I tried I would quit for two weeks and that was the most I could do. Um, they call it being dry Um, and then I would go back to drinking. And then I quit for a month and then I go back to drinking. So I was trying, I was trying the best that I possibly could and then I'd go back to drinking. So I was trying the best that I possibly could. But every time I would try it would just start over again.

Amy Menard:

So I ended up going to inpatient rehabilitation at Hamilton Hall and that was my first inpatient experience, if you will. I stayed there 21 days. But what happened there is, you know. I went in there with the mindset that I needed to get my family off my back, I needed to get the doctors off my back, and I had a reservation in my mind and for those who are in recovery, they know what a reservation is it's, you know, knowing that you're going to drink or use again, but still trying to go through the motions of trying to get sober. There's this little, little little voice in the back of your mind going maybe, but someday I'll be able to drink again. So you go to the rehab and I went to the rehab and I stayed sober maybe two weeks after I got out and that was it, and I was off again.

Amy Menard:

But the one thing that happened in rehab is that I was introduced to 12-step meetings and they said, if you wanted to maintain your recovery and, to, you know, add to your recovery that you're going to need something more than a 30 day rehab, because recovery is a lifelong process. So you need something more than just the 30 day rehab. But I didn't quite quite kick in, but I did. In January of 2017, I did start going to a 12-step program and it was my last shot. Another rehab wasn't going to help it, Outpatient wasn't going to help it, Nothing was going to help it and my health was going down the tubes fast. So I did that and I started, you know, to stay sober, and I ended up staying sober six months and then I had a two-week relapse, but I haven't had a drink since July 17, 2017, and that's a miracle.

Jerry Gretzinger:

You mentioned that recovery is a lifelong journey. It's not a destination.

Jerry Gretzinger:

That's what we say right, you don't get to recovery and hey, I'm good. This is something that requires you to maintain it the rest of your life. Everybody has their own journey and everybody is. They approach that time at their own time, in their own way, in their own place, right. To be able to get ready to go on that road through treatment and to reach recovery and to maintain that through the rest of their life. And I think what you're showing us today is that you tried several times. You finally found something that worked for you and you're at a point now where you're looking at these different marathons. You're looking at doing the Chicago Marathon. Your health has improved so much you're able to do these things.

Amy Menard:

Yeah, I do want to touch on. So about after year of sobriety, um I, I never did get that liver transplant yeah um, but after about a year of sobriety, my liver levels uh returned close to normal.

Amy Menard:

Um, I still have uh biannual checkups. There are other complications that go along with alcoholic cirrhosis um, I have an increased, increased, much increased chance of liver cancer in the future. But I don't I don't think about any of that. I don't think about any of that at all. So what happened? I and I couldn't walk to my mailbox, but as I kept getting sober and stayed sober one day at a time, I just kept doing something for my health. You know, you start going to doctor's appointments and you start eating healthier, start taking care of yourself. I started walking. Eventually, I started jogging. After about a year and a half, I think, I jogged my first 5K in 2018, which happens to be one of my favorite races. It's the Champlain Valley Family Center recovery run and they put that on every year. They are, I believe, an OASAS partially grant-funded facility in Plattsburgh. They have a wonderful recovery program with all kinds of different activities and peer recovery coaches.

Jerry Gretzinger:

And that's where your running started. Yeah.

Amy Menard:

Yeah, that's where I was my first run. And then, you know, after that I graduated to the 10K and the half marathon, and I think it was 2022, I ran my first marathon in Vermont City and I don't know. The challenge just turns on this light inside of me to keep going and it is not easy. It is not easy to train for these things. It is not easy. I'm about to. I just ended a training cycle culminating with the Boston marathon and in three weeks I'm going to be entering another four and a half months training cycle for Chicago. So you know it, yeah, yeah.

Jerry Gretzinger:

That's terrific.

Amy Menard:

I'm excited.

Jerry Gretzinger:

I mean I. This is exactly the type of message we want people to understand. You know, you said something earlier too. You said you know I wasn't the poster child for people who use, you know, alcohol, and I think that message is that there is no poster child right for any of these things.

Jerry Gretzinger:

It can happen to anyone, anywhere, in any situation, and there will always be people who are ready to help when you're ready for it. So I think again, the message you've given today is tremendous. We're so excited for you. Good luck in Chicago. That's got to be. How many marathons have you done at this point?

Amy Menard:

I have done three official marathons. I've run three more on my own. Um, but I will also and I just got word um last week that I will also be running the 2025 London marathon.

Jerry Gretzinger:

Wow.

Amy Menard:

So my goal, my goal, and it's just a goal that's in my heart. You know, I don't know if it will happen or come to fruition, but I would like to run the six world major marathons. You know, while I'm healthy and while I'm relatively young and while I still have the heart to get out there and do it. But just, you know people who I know in recovery, and I know a lot of people in recovery. I do a ton of service work. They're they're just like they're amazed that I'm like you can do it too.

Amy Menard:

You know, and you were saying before about it could happen to anyone. I mean, this is this. This disease does not discriminate, it doesn't matter. I mean, I know, you know, you know it's. I know lawyers, doctors, park Avenue, park Bench. It doesn't matter who you are, it can strike at any point in time in your life, especially and I think it's underrepresented people over the age of 50. You know people who are older and realizing that they might have a problem. You know they can still get sober, there's still hope for them too. You know, just because you're a certain age doesn't mean you can't access recovery.

Jerry Gretzinger:

Absolutely right and, again, one of the reasons we're so thrilled to share stories like yours, Amy, thank you so much for joining us on the podcast today. I think it's going to mean a lot to a lot of people who hear it.

Amy Menard:

Thank you so much for having me. I appreciate it's

Jerry Gretzinger:

All right, and after you finish those world marathons there, you come back and tell us how it all went, all right.

Amy Menard:

Absolutely, absolutely.

Jerry Gretzinger:

All right, Amy. Thank you again, and thank you everybody for joining us on this edition of Addiction: The Next Step. I'm Jerry Gretzinger, your host, and we will look forward to talking to you again soon.

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