Addiction: The Next Step

Second Chances: Building a Future Beyond Addiction

• NYS OASAS

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What happens when a life marked by incarceration and addiction finds hope through the power of peer support? Rudy Fernandez's story is a testament to resilience and transformation, as he reveals his journey from early exposure to marijuana to heroin use in prison. Raised in the Dominican Republic after being born in the U.S., Rudy shares how gang affiliations and substances filled a void left by the lack of familial love. Now a certified peer advocate with Second Chance Opportunities, Rudy uses his experiences to guide others on the challenging path to recovery, highlighting how essential peer support can be.

Join us as Rudy sheds light on the impact of supportive networks and second chances in fostering meaningful change. From job placement and housing support to the importance of personal growth and self-care, Rudy's insights emphasize the critical elements needed to build a stable life post-addiction. We also explore the adversity-driven creation of recovery centers tailored to community needs, showing how challenges like the COVID pandemic can lead to growth. With gratitude, we thank Rudy for sharing his powerful story and look forward to future discussions where his experiences can inspire others on their journey to recovery.

Isabel Byon:

The New York State Office of Addiction Services and Supports, or OASAS, provides this podcast as a public service. Thoughts and opinions expressed do not necessarily represent or reflect those of the agency or state. This is Addiction: The Next Step.

Jerry Gretzinger:

Hello once again everybody. Jerry Gretzinger here, your host of Addiction: The Next Step, and today you know we're going to be talking about something that we have actually talked about before. It's an important topic and something that we always want to make sure that we have people understand the importance of, because it makes such a difference for so many people throughout the state of New York and really throughout the nation. And we're talking about peers and the services that peers can provide and how it is so critical and so important and makes such a difference. And today we're happy to be able to welcome a peer, someone who's working as a peer provider, and that happens to be Rudy Fernandez. Rudy is a certified peer advocate. He does that with Second Chance Opportunities. Rudy, thanks so much for sitting down with us today.

Rudy Fernandez :

Thank you for having me.

Jerry Gretzinger:

Yeah, of course and I, you know I kind of I said this, I'd like to stress it it's so important the work that you do and others like you do, so we're very appreciative of that. But let me, let me first start. Every peer has a story of their own, and that that's one of the things that makes them a peer, because they have a story and it's something they can share with those they work with. So let's start with your story, Rudy. Tell us about your background with addiction, with substance use disorder, and how, then, you brought yourself to the point you're at today.

Rudy Fernandez :

So my name is Rudy Fernandez, as you introduced myself, and I'm a person in long-term recovery, which what it means to me is I haven't had a substance or a drink since March 23rd 2014.

Jerry Gretzinger:

That's great.

Rudy Fernandez :

As a result of that, I am a husband, I'm a homeowner, I'm a certified peer advocate, I'm also a family navigator as well, you know, and um, and, most importantly, I always like to start out this way and I also pay taxes. I know it sounds crazy when people hear that all the time, but I always like to refrain that because prior to me coming to recovery, I didn't know no better. I have 22 years of incarceration, 30 years of parole. My substance use did not well, I want to say, my main one, which is heroin, did not start out in the streets, it started out in prison, which I like to always state that because incarceration does not equal rehabilitation. I started using heroin and downstate correctional facility in 1994. Prior to that, I've been going to prison since I was 12 years old and that's where it all started. Because the system thought that and I'm not here no conspiracy theory, I'm just saying that there's better ways nowadays, we have advanced that the system thought that they could rehabilitate a young kid and instead they just turned me into a criminal. You know, and um, what I mean by that? Because it was a school of criminology. All I learned was to do those things. Now they have the support system that I have now.

Rudy Fernandez :

But to backtrack from that, I was born into a very well family. I was born here in the United States. I was raised in the Dominican Republic. As a child, I went to school there and everything. English is my second language, you know. And then I came over here to the United States and I was missing. Some of the things that I was missing was I had everything going on for me except, you know, I didn't have that. I love you from my mom. So I was attracted to the streets when I came over here and it just spiraled out of control and through the years, you know, things just drastically just went south and south and south. So when everybody wanted to be, you know, a doctor or whatever the case profession or something you know, I just wanted to be a good criminal, you know.

Rudy Fernandez :

And when I got the taste of heroin in the mix in 94 is when I really um, how should I say this? Like I found my passion like the passion that I have for recovery. I found that in heroin because I didn't need the validation that I seek for in my mother. I didn't need the validation that I seek for in my father. I didn't need the validation that I that I was getting from the gang members because I, I was, I was also a land king for like 20 years, you know. So I didn't need those validations no more because heroin filled that void that I had, that I was looking for all these years, you know.

Jerry Gretzinger:

Rudy, if you don't mind, let me just jump in really quick so. I know you've kind of we've kind of moved quickly through your story to the point where I know you had discovered and started using heroin. But kind of take me back. You talked about, you know, your childhood and feeling that you were missing a few things you know in the family structure and such. What was that first time when you started using substances that kind of started you on the path?

Rudy Fernandez :

I guess, if you will, so the first substance that I used was marijuana, as they say, the gateway right, and I thought it was kids my age was actually starting to do it or older kids, and I wanted to be part of something you know. And then, when you know, um, that went on for a few years until I found heroin. The horrors of addictions is, uh, is very traumatic, but you don't see it as traumatic as you when you're in it. You know, because it makes sense, for lack of a better word.

Jerry Gretzinger:

Yeah.

Jerry Gretzinger:

So you went from marijuana, moved to heroin. You had some situations with the criminal justice system. Where were you? What happened when you made the decision? Because I'm a little familiar with your story. You made a decision, or a decision was sort of somewhat made for you. I decision because I'm a little familiar with your story. You made a decision, or a decision was somewhat made for you, I guess too. But to say that, okay, enough is enough. I want to start living a life without substances and move into recovery if I can.

Jerry Gretzinger:

How did that play out

Rudy Fernandez :

Alright. So the decision was made for me by a parole officer. You know, my miracle came by a parole officer that decided that he did not want to put me and this is in 2006, I believe he did not want to send me to jail, he did not want to send me back to prison and he decided that you know, look, you can do that easy. Can you give me 30 days at this facility? So I mean common sense either a year and a half in a violation or 30 days. I was like, yeah sure, prior to that I'd never seen.

Rudy Fernandez :

Although I was hooked on heroin, I never see myself with a substance use problem because I lived in a criminal lifestyle and I was always able. Whenever I was out in the streets, I was always able to manage, you know, robbing and stealing, whatever I got to do, and that was part of my life. So I didn't see myself because I was never homeless. I always had a place, you know, with my sisters, my grandmother, everything. I never considered never homeless. I always had a place, you know, with my sisters, my grandmother, everything. I never considered myself homeless.

Rudy Fernandez :

So to me, a person with addiction is somebody that's eating out of a garbage can and sleeping under a bridge right. You know, all those homeless that just eat, drinking wine and all in the corner. That, to me, was the vision that I have of a person with a problem, and when I went to treatment for those 30 days which 30 days turned out to be nine months, by the way, but I went there for 30 days I heard somebody share their story. There was a counselor there that shared his story. He was not even a counselor, he worked at the facility and he happened to be sharing his story and for the first time in my life, I was able to identify with somebody instead of comparing. I thought I didn't, because I was a criminal that used drugs.

Jerry Gretzinger:

I'm just I want to jump in here. So you're saying the person who you heard telling their story was a peer right?

Rudy Fernandez :

No, he wasn't even a peer. Well, you know he was a peer, but he wasn't defined as a peer back then.

Jerry Gretzinger:

Right he may not have had that title, but you're sort of today hoping to do the same thing for others that this person did for you, correct?

Rudy Fernandez :

Correct. Yeah, because for once I was able to identify with the feelings and I was like, wow, I've been going through the whole thing all my life and that's where the seed was planted, you know. And I started mimicking what people in recovery was doing because I didn't know, you know what I mean. I heard about AA and NA, but that was not my thing. Like I said, I was, I'm not an addict, you know. And um, so I mimicked those things and I did not know that, um, at that time that you know there was more to it than just, you know, following doing what they was doing, I had to, like, literally surrender, which I did not know that, to get to where we are today, right, not move all the way forward, but you know, I stood in the recovery process for about 11 months.

Jerry Gretzinger:

So there was a few different times when you said okay, I'm going to do this, I'm going to stop using substances, I'm going to move towards treatment and recovery. And you stumbled and sometimes people do stumble along that journey, right?

Rudy Fernandez :

Yes, I stumbled, because you know there was certain pieces that I was missing, but that stumble I had another parole officer that I was blessed with that decided to listen. I'm not going to send you to prison. Let me change your life. And that's literally how I got here. And this is where the journey actually begins, cause I could tell you about all the horror stories, but it is crucial to people to know that the horror stories is always the same, it's just different faces.

Rudy Fernandez :

When I went back to treatment because of this parole officer, I realized that I never had a problem with drugs. I always had a problem. The way I think. You know, it was my thought process. Drugs is always going to exist. So, you know, I ended up working on my belief and putting different things in my head. I realized that I was homeless all my life. I never knew the definition of homelessness until I got into a place where I was able to change my thought process and I found out that my name was never on the list. That was my grandmother's house. That was my sister's house. That was my sister's house, that was my aunt's house. I always been homeless. So there was no difference between me and the guy sleeping under a bridge. So I always been homeless and I didn't want to do that no more. So I needed to remove the crimes and remove the drugs in order for me to be free.

Rudy Fernandez :

That's why I always say the peer in my life came in with my boss, Kelly Row. And Brian Row came into my life when I had six months and to this day you could ask her, we always talk about it. My first conversation with her, I had six months and I told her I am 39 years old, you know, I'm a persistent father. My life's been ruined. I never had a job, never had nothing which is why I talk about the taxes, you know and she just said um, I never forget. I was on a phone call and they didn't have my phone. It was a close to your phone and she just said oh no, your life just started. I did not know what that meant, but something told me to believe her.

Jerry Gretzinger:

I just want to point out for people you talked about your bosses, and these are the folks at Second Chance Opportunities, correct?

Rudy Fernandez :

Yeah, Brian and Kelly are husband and wife, but they're the ones that started all this. She is the executive director for Second Chance Opportunities.

Jerry Gretzinger:

They're in Albany, correct?

Rudy Fernandez :

In Albany, correct in Albany 55 Colvin, where we have our own recovery coaches. We have nine of them on by. We also have transportation. We can talk about that too, though.

Jerry Gretzinger:

I want to get into a little bit of that. it's amazing how fast, you know, time ticks away, right when we're talking about stories that are so meaningful and have so much information to share. But you mentioned at one point, you know, one of the things that had you stumble occasionally is because you were missing certain things. Right, you didn't have a way to get to a job, you needed to have income. And you said then I decided to rob my neighbor because you needed't have a way to get to a job, you needed to have income. And you said then I decided to rob my neighbor because you needed to have money, and then you wound up back in jail.

Jerry Gretzinger:

It's when we talk about things like second chance opportunities and the work you're doing with them, the services that are available, I mean it kind of fills some of those gaps that may exist for other people, like the opportunity to go to work. Right, there's like work placement, you can find places to go to work, there's recovery, housing, so you do feel that you have a home again, and so some of those gaps that you experienced, these are the things that we're trying to make a little bit easier for people who are starting this journey today, right.

Rudy Fernandez :

I want to say I don't want to say I was the first one in the housing, but this is where it started from, right. So you know, like, if you live what I live, you will see why I'm so grateful and I'm so passionate about this right. So I did not have a niche for this yet at that time, but I believed in her and she believed in me more than I believed in myself. See, I believed in her bI didn, but this is where the peer came in at Right. She became that peer and he became that peer. Right, that was bringing jobs applications to me, helping me find a job, you know.

Rudy Fernandez :

And because I was not able to get hired nowhere, they went out of their way and spoke to, you know, the owner of Star Roofing. That was my first job, right, I never had a job. And then to go roofing like it was crazy, right, but they got me a job there, right, and I was so grateful because I never actually worked to earn the living. They got me in one of their first houses, they got me a room there, right. So I left treatment. I was in treatment six months past my graduation. I was in the Betty Center when it was men and women, right. And I was six past my graduation, because I was not able to get a job and I wasn't able to go to housing. I wanted something different. I wanted to be normal. I wanted my own house, told you, I want to be homeless no more, and I wanted a job. It's just so hard for me to do it, but because I had them two on my side doing all the footwork, I was able to accomplish that.

Jerry Gretzinger:

Rudy, I think what you just said there the fact that you had these two people who believed in you and wanted to help you achieve these things that's what helped make this time when you did this.

Jerry Gretzinger:

It made it stick right because you had these people who were supporting you, believing in you the housing, the work. so what I want to we need to wrap up in a couple of minutes here, but I think anybody can take away from your story here is that, yeah, there will be times when somebody is starting to think you know what, I need to make some changes and it's going to be a struggle, but there are people and there are people like yourselves, the folks at Second Chance Opportunities certainly at OASAS all across New York State who are out here to be able to, you know, to take it by the hand or walk, you know, side by side with you to make sure you get where you want to go, and what you're sharing with us is a terrific example of that and, on top of that, the fact that there are peers such as yourself, who can say I've been there, I've done it.

Rudy Fernandez :

Right. So how I got here? She invited me to a FOR- Albany meeting, you know, and I went there and I said, oh my God, this is what I, because I remember what they did, how I felt when Brian and Kelly did for me, and I was like this is what I want to do. I want to advocate for my people, the people that are still struggling that don't know that there's a better way, like we hear about meetings and all that stuff. But you need support, right, you need support. You can't do this alone. So I was like this is what I'm and that's how I got into this. But she would not let me do anything until I had two years, right, because she knew I needed to build a foundation. You know, I needed to build my own foundation before I could start helping people. So it's self-care before anything, right, you know.

Rudy Fernandez :

And then, after that, you know, with OASAS, and you know FOR- Albany and everything else, you know, we just started the movement, you know, and her vision was always to have her own recovery center, you know, based on what we need here in the community, right, you know so, at that time, you know, it was just two houses, and then we expanded and then COVID you know, blessing for us, see, from every tragedy there's always an opportunity, right? So she took the opportunity to remove the college kids that she not she didn't remove them, but they removed themselves on their own because of the rent and everything. And she turned every single one of them houses that it had, you know, into recovery houses, little by little. And now so I'm also the housing director, because I lived in the house for five and a half years, yeah, and I went from there from a room to renting a whole apartment, to having a girlfriend that then ended up marrying her and buying my own house in five and a half years.

Jerry Gretzinger:

Oh, that's great.

Jerry Gretzinger:

That's awesome Good for you. Yes, you know, and great, that's awesome Good for you.

Rudy Fernandez :

Yes, you know, and now I oversee 16 houses, so I oversee the houses and I work with the individuals that are there, and then they also have their own recovery coaches here, so they get double the whammies, you know, to actually help them move forward. See, we meet people here at Second Chances, where they're at. We're just not trying to leave them with it.

Jerry Gretzinger:

Rudy, I'm hoping that people are hearing your story about. You know the early years when you said you started. You know experimenting with marijuana, moved on to heroin, and you know the run-ins with the criminal justice system and just all that it took to get you to the point where you were finally ready and capable to go through treatment and enter recovery and that here you are, married, homeowner, paying taxes, like you said, and doing all these things that you always knew you wanted to do. You've been able to achieve that and hopefully you're able to continue to achieve all that you want, and I really do hope that people hear this story and reach out either to you directly or they can go to our website, oasas. nygov oasasnygov. There's also the HOPE line 877-8-HOPE-NY. These are all places where you can get connected with people like Rudy, with services like Second Chance Opportunities and so many other options like that across the state of New York.

Jerry Gretzinger:

Rudy, thank you so much for coming on and sharing your story and helping to hopefully show the light to people. That is definitely out there.

Rudy Fernandez :

Thank you

Jerry Gretzinger:

All right, and we'll have to have you back again, because I feel like we could probably talk about so much more and touch so many more lives. So we'll be sure to do that. Thank you again, and hey, listen. Thanks everybody for checking us out here. On Addiction: The Next Step, I'm Jerry Gretzinger, your host. We'll look forward to having you join us again in the future. Until then, be well.

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