Why Music Connects So Deeply

Announcement 0:00

The New York State Office of Addiction Services and Supports, or OASAS, provides this podcast as a public service. Opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect those of the agency or state.

Jerry Gretzinger 0:18

Welcome to Addiction, the Next Step. I'm your host, Jerry Gretzinger. The power of music is undeniable. Some call it the one language we can all understand. And it's a language we learn early in life. Long before children learn to speak, they understand rhythm. It may be the tap of a finger on a table or a melody that just speaks to them. The message in the music, though, can be different for everyone. For example, there are programs around the state like Road Recovery in Manhattan that have discovered how music can be an effective prevention tool, helping young people avoid drugs and alcohol while nurturing their talents. Which has made a world of difference

A Childhood Spark For Rhythm

Jerry Gretzinger 0:56

for young maestro Ralph Marfo. At 24 years old, Ralph is still very much a young man, but he remembers he was much, much younger when he first discovered his connection with music.

Ralph Marfo 1:11

Man, I think it will be like Man, to listen, it'll be like as early as like five years old. Like it'll be as like five years old, you know, watching TV, you know, watching PBS kids. Obviously, you know, I'm I'm young, so I'm watching like Hey Caillou, or like we had this old, we had this radio where we listened to like 106.7. We hear like, you know, like the the Cindy Laupers and the Chicago's, the men at work, and then we hear like Stevie Wonders. So like that's we started hearing those kind of stuff at like five or six years old. And then like to instruments, it'll be around that same age frame too, like five or six years old. I noticed like myself like just banging on stuff, like just creating rhythms. Like, I'll just naturally just create rhythms on like the tables, and then like you know, sometimes my mom will be like, like, stop doing that, hey, stop doing that. But she but she took a notice to it, and I appreciate my mom for this. And I never thought about it until now, like, because she she's the one that gifted me my first drum kit.

Learning By Ear At Church

Jerry Gretzinger 2:09

That's where it all started for Ralph. Then he and his sister began making music together. And by the time he was seven or eight, he was backing up the choir at his church. He taught himself how to play, watching older musicians and figuring it out by ear.

Ralph Marfo 2:24

Six or seven, maybe seven or eight years old, I'll be the one to start playing drums out of church. And that's and for a kid like that, seven years old playing drums out of church, that's unusual because they'd be like, yo, like what you doing on that growth? Like, they'll be like, get off the they'd be like, get off the drums. But people started taking a notice to it, like, yo, like this kid is like, he's not normal. Like, how he's doing all these like drums. Yeah, exactly. That's what I was doing.

Jerry Gretzinger 2:46

Ralph taught himself drums, then guitar, then piano, all by age 11. But then the outside world started creeping into his creative

Peer Pressure And The Creativity Myth

Jerry Gretzinger 2:55

space. He was raised in the Bronx, a neighborhood where everyone knew everyone. He says the pressure to fit in with other kids to try drugs and alcohol was pretty intense.

Ralph Marfo 3:06

He'd be like, hey, yo, you want to try this, you want to try that? So that's how it is. So, you know, I was one of those people that even though people weren't expecting me to do that, I still found myself to be in those like scenarios and situations. So, like, you know, that's honestly at a certain point, yeah, like, you know, like just like weed and like just yeah, I I I was I was one of those that would like that would smoke and whatnot, and then yeah, I I got to a point where I had to just kick it to the curb. I kicked it to the curb and like, you know, like I just had to put my head in the fire and it's like you know, just just go through that phase and just like understand like why it wasn't it wasn't for me in the first place.

Jerry Gretzinger 3:39

Ralph admits he gave in for a while, convinced by others that substances would fuel his creativity. But something started to change, he felt, disconnecting him from his music. The creative shortcut people promised him led him somewhere he didn't want to be.

Ralph Marfo 3:55

Those so those kind of substances, they they grant you like a temporary like high, they grant you like a temporary source of like uh gratification. But like in those uh in those instances, you know, it might boost your creativity. For some people, like they might uh say like you might smoke a joint and you just like uh you start making writing the greatest thing you ever wrote, or you saw you might play the greatest thing that you ever played. And then there, that was in my case, yeah, like whenever I would make beats, I I'll just start making these beats like uh like when I'm under those substances one night, and then when I wake up the next morning, like I'm just sobered up and I'm like, yo, how did I'm like yo, like where did this beat come from? Like how did I how did I do this? I knew I had like a natural source of creativity, so I don't just wanna just uh go off of just me smoking uh cannabis all the time and just like me being creative, because I'm no I'm a natural creative, so if I kick that to the curb, then it's really gonna expose my real creativity.

Finding A Home At Road Recovery

Jerry Gretzinger 4:45

Sticking with that choice as a teenager was a challenge. But he found a space that supported him. Through his high school, Ralph connected with an organization called Road Recovery, a nonprofit run by music industry insiders who had overcome their own substance use issues.

Ralph Marfo 5:00

It was just like, um it was pretty foreign to me because you know, like I I never I didn't have a program outside of like I didn't have nothing outside of like church where I could go and like um use my creative talents freely, but road recovery really changed that picture for me. So like, and just them making us comfortable, making us comfortable and making us like um get of our get out get out of our comfort zone to like really be free, really be free in our spread and stress ourselves. And like that's what they really prioritized.

Jerry Gretzinger 5:28

Yeah, and um, because I would imagine there probably weren't a whole lot of places you could go where people said, hey, we've got all these instruments, have at them.

Ralph Marfo 5:35

Absolutely, yo, that's true. Yeah, that's true. And like, you know, coming from the Bronx too, it was pretty foreign to us. You know, all we knew at the time was like just basketball, maybe just basketball. I didn't know that they had um programs where we could go and just play a piano, play a uh a flute, a harmonica, a violin. Like, we had none of that.

Jerry Gretzinger 5:53

When

Becoming The Mentor He Needed

Jerry Gretzinger 5:54

Ralph aged out of the youth program, the group asked him to stay on as a mentor.

Ralph Marfo 5:58

And I was like, yo, that's that's crazy, because I never thought, I I never thought of myself as like a mentor. I noticed like I have a like I I'm good at building great bonds with like the youth. Cause I understand, I understood how it was like to, you know, be in those positions of like just being shy, anxious, and like they might be like they too cool for whatnot, but like me stepping as me stepping up as a mentor, me telling them like yo, like you don't have to be too cool. Like it's always it's not it's it's not bad to like just you know dumb it down and just try to play an instrument. And I help all these kids understand that because I've been there before. I've I've been a shy kid, I've been the kid that's you know can't that's been uh uh frowned upon, that that's been you know doubted or whatever you want to call it, but it's really essential for me to like be that um that outlet to like various you know people that might want to. So I'm like, use me as an outlet. You could use me, like whatever if you wanna reach out to me to like uh collab or like make music, write a poem, do something like your potential is greater than all this stuff that you're all these substances that you're ingesting, or all these substances that you're using.

Music As A Powerful Coping Tool

Ralph Marfo 7:16

Music is everything, like it's it's it's psychological, it's it's it's internal, it's external, like it's it's the it's like one of the most greatest coping mechanisms in human history, because like for me personally, like whenever I feel a certain move, like music is it's it's it could easily simmer down your brain. And I think it's been scientifically proven too, like it has a it has a neurological effect to like your your your state of mind whenever you're playing a song with a certain frequency, or like you're playing you might be playing a fast-paced song or you might be playing a rock song, and then you just feel like you just feel energetic, you just feel like the need to just move and like just be free, just move around. Like that's that's the importance of music.

Reaching Kids Through Online Tutorials

Jerry Gretzinger 8:02

Today Ralph is reaching people far beyond his old neighborhood, sharing his piano tutorials and performances online. Every now and then he gets a comment from a kid he's never met saying that Ralph is the reason they sat down and started making music instead of making poor choices.

Ralph Marfo 8:20

Like just me having those experiences with like people that reach out, and then people will be like, yo, you've helped me so much. And like that goes to show like you never know who you're who you're inspiring. So, like, and just me making these videos, like, whenever I make these videos, I'd be like, Yeah, I'm just making another regular video. But there's people watching, and I that it always tells me like you never know who's watching at the end of the day. They'll be like, yo, this is the video that I needed. Out of all the videos that I watched, they're like, they'll be like, this is the video that I needed.

Jerry Gretzinger 8:46

It means something you never even intended it to mean, right? Yeah.

Ralph Marfo 8:49

At all.

Resources And Final Takeaways

Jerry Gretzinger 8:52

If you'd like to learn more about the youth program over at Road Recovery, you can go to roadrecovery.com or head to our website, oasas.ny.gov. Thanks for joining us on Addiction, The Next Step. Be sure to like or follow the podcast so you can get notices when new episodes drop. And much of what you heard Ralph play in this episode was from one of his own creations. Here's a bit more now before we go.