A Schizophrenic's Guide to Rising Above the Blues

On those days when the sky seems to press down with a weight that's almost tangible, I, Diana Dirkby, understand the unique struggle of navigating life's lows with schizophrenia. Our latest heartfelt conversation delves into the complexities of managing such days, offering personal anecdotes and strategies that have proven invaluable in maintaining equilibrium amidst the chaos. It's not about battling depression but addressing that all-too-familiar sense of discouragement that can suddenly hijack our plans and intentions.

Throughout our talk, I share the therapeutic benefits of engaging in small, manageable tasks—like bill-paying or decluttering—that not only serve to keep life's necessities in check but also provide a surprising mood boost. As the day winds down, I reflect on the comfort found in simple pleasures and the company of loved ones; for me, it's the time spent with my husband, whether we're watching movies or enjoying the start of baseball season. Together, we explore how embracing such moments of care and connection can fortify us against the unpredictability of low days and serve as powerful tools for those of us consciously maneuvering through life with schizophrenia.

#mentalhealth #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthawareness #schizophrenia #paranoidschizophrenia #schizoaffective #mentalillness #psychosis #depressionsawareness #fictionwriting #family #relationships #nomorestigma #fightthestigmaofmentalillness #letstalk #lookafteryourself #schizophreniaawareness #mentalillnessrecovery #mentalillnesstreatment #motherdaughter #brainhealth 

Pastime With Good Company by King Henry VIII, played by The Chestnut Brass Company 

Pastime With Good Company, composed by King Henry VIII, played by The Chestnut Brass Company

Transcript

Diana Dirkby: 1:04

Hello, my name is Diana Dirkby and you are listening to my podcast, "schizophrenia As I Live It. In this episode, I want to talk about the days that we all have, whether we live with schizophrenia or not, which are kind of low points. In past podcasts, I've given tips that I use to deal with stress specifically, for example, by making a list of priorities so that the most urgent thing is at the top and the less urgent things further down, enabling you to feel not overwhelmed by the amount of things that you have to do. I've also talked about simply avoiding the people or the things that are giving you stress, and the virtues of sticking to a routine. Now, all that is fine as long as it's working. So, for example, I had a day this week where, the moment I woke up, I realized that I was not going to be able to go through with what I had planned for that day. I was simply feeling too low. Now, this isn't the same as depression. It's more a feeling of discouragement, and someone who lives with a severe mental illness like schizophrenia, of course is always afraid that they will relapse, and they're very conscious of the fact that they must conduct their day so that they don't aggravate their schizophrenia symptoms.

Diana Dirkby: 2:58

Now, I'm someone who finds it very difficult to do nothing. The closest I can get to it is to watch a movie I really enjoy. Or, as it happens, my husband likes baseball and so do I, and baseball is starting, so I'm watching a baseball game. But if I just watch TV, then I am going to feel at the end of the day that I've accomplished nothing, even if the movie was very good and the game was very exciting. So what do I do on such a day as I had the other day? Well, what I do is that I aim to complete tasks which don't take very long but nonetheless are things I need to attend to. So, for example, I had a few bills that had come in the mail or over the email and I paid those, and I felt a little bit better after I'd done that because I was managing, I was keeping us up to date with our bill paying. It also happened to be the day that I usually pay our credit cards, and I did that, and our affairs are very simple. We live very simply, so there are never very many surprises on our credit cards, but still I like to pay them and look over them to make sure that they look okay. Now, all those tasks put together would take less than an hour, but I still felt that I had done something with my executive skills and it improved my mood. Then, not wanting to push things too far, I looked around the house for errands that I can do to make our house nicer.

Diana Dirkby: 5:11

Unfortunately, my husband and I live with a lot of clutter, because I married him when I was 42 and he was 56 and we had two lives that we had to coalesce into one house essentially, and there are things that neither of us want to throw out. So this may sound like something very, very petty, but in actual fact, clutter puts me in a bad mood. So I did some jobs to help with that. Now I'm currently in Alaska. It's still snowing, it's still cold outside, but once the spring really gets underway here, the days are very long and the temperatures are really mild, and I try most days to get out into the garden for at least an hour, cutting back the small trees that will block our view if I let them grow. At the moment, it's cold outside, so I'm kind of trapped inside.

Diana Dirkby: 6:18

So as well as trying to do something about the clutter. I may do some other jobs. Just one example is a button fell off my husband's pajamas and I mended it on this day that I was feeling low. So what ended up happening was that I did a succession of tasks which needed doing, and each time I'd done one of these tasks I felt a little better. I felt a little bit that I had things under control. And then, come the late afternoon, I just rested with my husband, watching movies, tv shows and so on, getting dinner. I make it my business to spend the late afternoon always with my husband, no matter what I have going on.

Diana Dirkby: 7:15

Now both my husband and I are doing everything from home, so this is easy for us. I realize it's not so easy for people who have a job outside the home, but I find that it really helps to look forward to that time that I'm going to spend with my spouse and, once that time begins, to really give him my full attention. So another thing I can do on these days where I'm not trying to climb any mountains, I'm just trying to smash down a few molehills is I can engage in some of my hobbies. I like to play the piano. I like reading. My husband and I are following lectures given by university professors, put out by a company called the Great Courses (it used to be called the Teaching Company): Things that are stimulating but don't require a lot of work on my part. Now, what I find is that, on those low days, if I make small aims and small objectives, I can take little steps, and each step is encouraging because I've completed a task which, after all, needs doing.

Diana Dirkby: 8:45

Now, today, I've woken up feeling fine, but I will be still sticking to a routine which I've roughly worked out for most days, because a routine really helps if you're living with schizophrenia, because you kind of know what to expect, You've planned ahead, and that can be very, very useful. However, you must acknowledge how you're feeling, and if you've aimed to do something, say tomorrow, and tomorrow you wake up and it's clear to you that you're too tired or you feel too low, try to find a way to postpone the activity without upsetting anybody else, and all you need to tell people is that you're tired and it's not a good day for you.

Diana Dirkby: 9:46

As well as the antipsychotic medications that I take, I have a tranquilizer my psychiatrist prescribed, which I take as necessary. So the good thing about it is that if I get woken up at night because I'm worrying and that happens quite a lot to me, unfortunately, and if the usual strategy of warm milk and listening to a book on tape doesn't send me back to sleep, I can take this very small dosage of a tranquilizer and that will put me back to sleep. I might wake up a little groggy, but it's definitely helpful. So if you're having broken sleep and that is dragging you down, then I really recommend that you talk to your psychiatrist about a medication that can help you sleep. So, as you know by now, I take medication for mild epilepsy. I take this tranquilizer as needed and I'm on an antipsychotic. You can take all this medication and plan your day as well as you can and try to do everything right, but schizophrenia will sometimes just emerge.

Diana Dirkby: 11:21

The antipsychotics are not a cure for my schizophrenia symptoms. What they do is they help me to relax and remain objective and they help me to be able to say that's coming from my schizophrenia, that's not really coming from reality. So the antipsychotics give me objectivity they also help me sleep, by the way but sometimes it's not enough if I'm really worried about something, hence the tranquilizer as needed. I really recommend that, for days that you're feeling down, just try to fill, say, your morning up with getting these jobs done and you will feel much better. You'll feel as if you have accomplished something and you will also have gotten something done, which will help for the days that you feel better and you want to do more.

Diana Dirkby: 12:39

So currently I am working on a second book and that book is so a second book. What do I mean by that? Well, my debut novel was the Overlife, a Tale of Schizophrenia that I've spoken a lot about on this podcast, and I have mentioned that. I'm Three writing a Three book Three Kidnapped, three Siblings, three Furies Furies, which features sibling abuse and casts it in the horror thriller genre with an intervention by characters from the Greek myths. So there's a lot going on. In the second novel, I've just finished correcting the first round of proofs, sent them to Amazon, so I'm doing this with Amazon and those proofs will come back to me and then I'm going to read the book through again, from the first page to the last page, double checking everything, and after that the book will be formatted and should appear. So I'm expecting it to appear sometime in the late spring and I will have more to say about it once it's published.

Diana Dirkby: 13:59

So I don't have a podcast devoted to sibling abuse and I'm not going to start one. I'm going to more talk about the process of writing it and why I wrote it, and they will become blog posts on my website, dianadirkby. com. So I have a website, overliveschizophrenia. com, devoted to my first book, but the second book will be part of the sister website, overliveschizophreniacom, devoted to my first book, but the second book will be part of the sister website, dianadirkby. com. I'll give you plenty of details later on about how to negotiate that second website, dianadirkby. com. But the overliveschizophrenia. com, which is the website associated with the first book, that's in pretty good shape and I really recommend you exploring it, especially if you're considering buying the book. Well, know that I feel for you and I hope that if you're down in the dumps, you find a way to improve the way you feel, and I hope I've offered some suggestions which are helpful. Thank you for listening. I look forward to talking to you next time. Bye-bye.