Schizophrenia As I Live It (audio)

I discuss navigating the labyrinth of paranoid schizophrenia as a personal and Informative journey.

I'm Diana Dirkby, and I'm living with paranoid schizophrenia. In this podcast, I'll open up about my experiences with this complex brain disorder while also providing a comprehensive overview of schizophrenia itself. Despite sharing common symptoms, each individual's journey with schizophrenia is unique. We all seek tools and strategies to manage our symptoms within the context of our unique lives.

As mental health consumers, we are responsible for sharing our experiences openly and honestly. By doing so, we can help combat the stigma associated with schizophrenia. We can empower listeners to understand what psychosis truly feels like, dispelling the fear and misconceptions that often surround it. While a schizophrenic episode can be an intense and overwhelming experience, it's important to remember that the person experiencing it is usually not a threat to others.

Beyond my experiences with schizophrenia, I'll also share aspects of my life that transcend my mental health condition. This serves as a reminder that mental health consumers are multifaceted individuals, not defined solely by their diagnoses.

My fiction novel, "The Overlife: A Tale of Schizophrenia," is based on a deeply personal exploration of my own experiences and those of my mother. It's available as a Kindle and paperback book (visit https://www.amazon.com/author/diana_dirkby or search for "Diana Dirkby" on Amazon). An audiobook version will be released soon. For more information, please visit my website: https://overliveschizophrenia.com/.

Part 1 of this podcast aired during the prepublication phase of my novel. Now the book has appeared, Part 2 assumes you have access to it. You can still follow along without having read it. However, reading the book will help you understand and appreciate my podcast.

Together, we can break down barriers and promote open conversations about mental health. Thank you for joining me on this journey.

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Schizophrenia As I Live It (audio)

The Menace Of Coincidence

May 26, 2024 • Diana Dirkby

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Have you ever felt like the universe was conspiring against you through an eerie sequence of events? That's what we're unpacking today, as I, Diana Dirkby, share my personal confrontations with coincidence and its particularly intense effects on those of us with paranoid schizophrenia. The ever-present challenge of discerning reality from paranoia becomes even more complex when ordinary occurrences take on a sinister hue. I'm peeling back the layers on how I navigate the treacherous waters of coincidence, offering insights on keeping paranoia at bay, especially when life's misfortunes, like fraud, strike more than once or when social media provides an overwhelming sense of false importance.

My journey reveals the delicate balance of engaging with the world while protecting one's mental health—whether it's through hobbies or measured interactions on social media. Without a guest to distract us, this episode is an intimate deep dive into my lived experiences, strategies to block paranoia, and the continuous pursuit of understanding. I extend not just stories of my trials, but also a beacon of hope and advice for fellow travelers on this intricate path. Join me for a candid look into managing schizophrenia, mitigating symptoms, and the ongoing quest to outsmart the mind's deceptive games.

Pastime With Good Company by King Henry VIII, played by The Chestnut Brass Company

Pastime With Good Company, composed by King Henry VIII, played by The Chestnut Brass Company

Diana Dirkby: 1:04

Hello, my name is Diana Dirkby and I live with paranoid schizophrenia. You are listening to my podcast "Schizophrenia as I Live it Today. In this episode, I'm going to be talking about the menace of coincidence for those living with paranoid schizophrenia. Often, as part of a paranoid episode, a train of thought can start with an understandable and realistic reaction. However, it may begin to go astray if similar circumstances reoccur, establishing what may feel like a pattern but may just be a coincidence. The coincidence battle is nasty when I am having a schizophrenic episode and it may be uncomfortable even when I am managing my schizophrenia symptoms well. I describe incidents such as this for the character Sarah who narrates my fiction novel, 'The Overlife A Tale of Schizophrenia,' by Diana Dirkby, my pen name. At the moment, I am managing my schizophrenia symptoms well. However, an example of: "is it a coincidence or is it a plot against me occurred recently. At the end of January of this year, I was the genuine victim of fraud. As the firm through which the scam operated verified. I could not recover my lost money, but it wasn't a lot anyway. I was another fraud victim in May of this year through a different firm. Again, the firm through which the scam operated agreed. This time the firm refunded me all the money I had lost to the scam.

Diana Dirkby: 3:15

You may think that the occurrence of two scams in close succession in my life made me feel disproportionately victimized. I did have a short episode of paranoia, but not for that reason. I know scams are ubiquitous at the moment and to fall victim to two of them was also my fault for being gullible and sloppy. By contrast, paranoia went through me like a knife because one of the scammers who spoke to me over the phone at the end of January sounded precisely like one of the people trying to help me with the May scam. His attitude even felt the same. A few people are out to get me for sure, I felt, but not in terms of anything broader than several persons. I knew the danger of a wider paranoia creeping in and stopped. I rested and distracted myself with things I liked to do until I felt better. The remaining people I spoke with about the May scam were extremely kind. The firm returned my lost money. By then I was over the threat of my paranoid moment ballooning.

Diana Dirkby: 4:40

In my case, it isn't only the coincidence of bad events in my life that gives rise to paranoia, as I describe in my book the Overlife. Sometimes a psychotic break follows things that are too good, with many happy coincidences to back them up. For example, I may suddenly feel I am essential politically due to the attention I get on social media when I post an opinion. Then on social media I feel many people may be supported by my new place of importance. For this reason I use social media lightly compared to many other people, which works much better for me and helps to avoid runaway thoughts going down the wrong track. Also, I now avoid violent topics like politics.

Diana Dirkby: 5:39

Sometimes you simply cannot run away from coincidences, which may merely arise as the patterns of repetition we all face in our lives and when we interact with others. Dealing with coincidences when you live with paranoid schizophrenia is a work always in progress. My advice is to try to keep things low-key, even when they are important to you. Slow and steady wins the race and you can pace your life so that false coincidences are left to suffocate because you don't give them air. So that's it for today. I thank you very much for listening and hope you tune in next time. Bye-bye.