In the Heart of Being

Legacy of the Ancestors, the influences of the ones that came before us

May 31, 2023 Nathalie en Jose
In the Heart of Being
Legacy of the Ancestors, the influences of the ones that came before us
Show Notes Transcript


Legacy of the Ancestors

What does it mean? How can we work with them and how can we embrace our lives even more knowing where we come from. Our ancestors have imprinted our lives from the day we entered the womb of our mother.
We all have been born into a certain family and have been raised a certain way. When lives starts to unfold more as we grow older, we find out about the way our ancestors close and far impact our lives on daily bases.

Seeing the whole picture of our ancestors, the hard lessons and the gifts, enables you to appreciate the things they did, the way they did it, acknowledging their burdens and gifts, opens up your own path to leap forward...

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Legacy of the Ancestors

Nathalie: I am Nathalie and in my work as a healer therapist, and in this podcast I consult the spirits guides and counselors. I have been working this way for over 13 years, and this connection has existed from the day I entered this world. In this podcast, in the heart of being a spiritual journey, the spirits guides and counselors connect me to the layers of being dimensions and the library of knowledge where we connect the spirit with the body, which I love to share with you all.

My partner in this podcast is Jose a very dear colleague with the right questions and a vibrant energy. Will you join us in our quest, weaving the unknown into the known. 

So welcome. Today we are gonna talk about the legacy of the ancestors, what it means, what we can do with it, and especially how it can help us to embrace our lives even more. Today I am gonna talk about this legacy that we all carry within us. So what does that mean? Legacy of the ancestors? It's like we all have been born into a certain family and have been raised a certain way, but it goes beyond like the line we have behind us. It also is the line we have upwards. Into the sky, into the universe, into the cosmos.

Jose: And how? How do you mean that? 

Nathalie: Well, you know, like most of the time when people talk about their ancestors, they always talk about their grandparents and their great grandparents and stuff like that. Yes. But then we're talking about this plane we are living in, but we have several planes that we are actually connected.

So this one is on our earthly plane, and then we have our cosmic family. So most people, some people say, tell me about that. They have a feeling that they, they live on this earth, but they have never been human, for example. And they come to my practice and they tell me that say, yeah, I must sound really weird.

You know, I'm telling you that I'm, I have the feeling that I not always have been a human. Or maybe perhaps this is the first time that I am a human. And I always say, no, this is actually not strange at all. You know, we have certain ideas and certain knowledge that goes beyond, this world. Like we all have this sense of unity, but if we look at the world around us, unity rarely exists. You know, sometimes you find unity when we meet a partner, for example, with unity, that there is some, is a divine essence, actually we all carry within us.

Jose: Yes. So you talk more about layers and. Yeah, outside. 

Nathalie: Yeah. So layers that we have to the cosmos, to the universe, to where we come from to the source of life actually. And then you have, the ancestors that are actually behind us. And that's what most people talk about. The ancestors in this world. Their legacy. And most of the types, when people talk about the legacy they, they carry of the ancestors, it's always like, oh, well my great grandfather did this and now I have this problem in my life and I don't know how to continue with it.

But we also forget that they also brought gifts with them. We also, we always look at the things that they, that are not, supporting us in our lives, but they also gave us a lot of. Other things that makes our lives very rich. You know? So when you, look at the legacy of the ancestors, you have to see the whole picture, and then you start appreciating the things people did the way they did, you know?

We are easy at blaming people because this person did that in, in another life, and now I have the consequences of it. But in the other hand, you know, I also believe that we choose the, that choose this life with everything upon it. You know, not to. 

Jose: But can you welcome the, the presence you got from your ancestors while still also handling, the heaviness, from them?

Nathalie: Well, actually that's what it is about. That you embrace both 

Jose: But is there not a way or certain steps that you first have to take before you can embrace the positiveness? 

Nathalie: Yeah. First you have to acknowledge where it comes from. And feel at ease, you know, like with, with the dark sides of, of the, the ancestors for example. Because when we look, all of us, you know, not, not one is excluded from this somewhere. We have an ancestor that did something that was not, we would say today was not right. Huh? And we always tend to. Push it aside. But these are the things that always our greatest teachers, you know, the things that, that we say are not good or you would never do that, which I, which I don't believe because we are human and for our survival, we are almost capable of anything.

Jose: Mm-hmm. Yeah. 

Nathalie: And when you start looking at these, these things that you actually feel bad about, but realize that they are part of being human. It's not that you are going to choose this path in your life, but your one of your ancestors did. And when you look at that, you can put it at the place where it needs to be.

So it's not yours to carry. It is from the person who did it in the past. And the interesting thing is when we see those things that has happened in all those life, of all those people that came before us, And we acknowledge them for who they were at that moment with everything they were, without saying, this is good or bad, you know, but just observing and respecting the way things happened. You release the past. 

Jose: Yes. So it's embracing, looking clearly.

Nathalie: Well, I don't, I don't know if it's embracing. It is, acknowledging where it came from and leave it there. You know, some, sometimes they say like, yeah, well my great grand grandfather was like, I don't know this or that and, or great-grandmother. You know, women can also be of a certain kind. We all can. And it's, it's like a blaming and victimization you often hear when they talk about ancestors. 

Jose: So it's more accepting and then embracing and leave it where it is. 

Nathalie: Well, if you accept it, then it becomes a part of your life. So I would not think that accepting is the way to approach it. It is. Well, acknowledging is is the right word for it. You, you see it and you leave it, you know, it's like you pinpoint it, this is what you do. You say, oh, I understand this person was like, I don't know. Uh, a murderer for example, or, um, was the one that was called a black sheep or was the one that always, uh, Was furious about nothing or you know, you have all those certain things, but when you see it said, oh, okay, this person behaved this way.

And the interesting thing, because when I say that my, my belly, it, it gives a feeling of relief. So you calm down in a way. You say, okay, I understand this was a quality that belonged to you. And when you do that, you acknowledge it and you stop carrying it. Because in a way, you give it back. You say, I understand you are the one that showed this in my life.

But the most of the things that happens when you feel like the burden of the past is it wants to be acknowledged. It's the same with feelings. When we have certain feelings and we, and we don't want to be with that, we just push it away, push it away, push it away. But I always believe that when a feeling, uh, rises, you know, when it shows itself, then it is time.

Well, don't believe in time. But that's for not a, that's for not a time to talk about. But um, when it rises, it wants to be released. Yes. And when we allow it, then we get rid of it. And it's the same with the pain or the sorrow or the blame of anything we carry from the ancestors. When we see it, we say, okay, I understand.

Jose: So even sometimes when you don't understand specific things that happened in the past, which your, ancestors did, whether it are bad things, let's say it like that. Still you say you have, you have to look at it in an understanding way to be able to release it and, 

Nathalie: well, it's actually this, it is. You say to this person, I know and I see that you did those things and I leave them with you. So it's not that you, accept it because in your life you would probably never behave in, in that way. But carrying the burdens makes your life hard, which it should not be. Actually, life should never be hard. That happens when we get attached to the outside world, then life becomes very hard because we get expectations. 

Jose: So actually you say we should turn around the dynamics. And show understanding or feel understanding so we can let go of it. And secondly, embracing the good things. Yeah. Looking at that as how you started, this podcast was that, we look most of the times to the things that are a burden. Yeah. A weight on the shoulders. But you say understand it, look at it, leave it. And look at other things. So it's a, a new way of approaching. 

Nathalie: Well, I don't know if it's a new way of approaching. I think it's more a total approach of, of everything who was before you. And it's not that, you know, like also from the, the bad things they did, we can learn a lot, you know?

Yes. You can see how it unfolded in their lives and where it ended up, you know. So it gives you knowledge, it gives you insight of how things can develop in a life of a certain person. So that's also something as a gift you can take with you, because sometimes, most of the times we have the tendency to look at only the things that are beautiful and, that makes us laugh.

Everything that, that is light, you know, but the very light can be very dark. So this is actually by picking the pieces of everything that once was. And collect them and thank your ancestors for who they were and what they did. It's very interesting because when I say that, I feel like this relief going, through me.

It's like I. The ancestors being happy. So now they can, you know, they can be who they were, who they are without being judged or blamed or being, not fantasized about, but being put on on

Jose: statue yes, as an icon . 

Nathalie: Yes, because sometimes we do that. This great grandmother was one of the best I ever heard about, you know, or my mother was one of the most beautiful persons in my whole life. But in a way, they're all just, passing by. Sometimes they're longer in your life and sometimes they're just here for a moment. So if we go back to the legacy of the ancestors, When I say those words, I feel the lines behind me going back and back and back and back. And it brought me here today to who I am.

All their knowledge, all their good doings and bad doings, everything brought me here today. So this is, if you talk about the legacy, this is the legacy. They have done all those things before me or and you. And now you have like this spot to move forward. And to take all this knowledge with you, how they did certain things. And maybe you want, don't want to do it the same way, but you have seen it that they did it that way. So you can learn from that and have a new choice in life every day, every time. 

Jose: But that's of course always your own choice at the end. Also, I think 

Nathalie: you always have a choice. Yeah. Even if you don't choose, you made a choice not to do anything.

Jose: Exactly. Yeah. But it can strengthen you. Looking at your ancestors. 

Nathalie: Yeah. It can make you understand why you behave in a certain way and then it is for you to decide, is this how I want to continue? And by turning around and looking at your ancestors, look at them, speak in the face and, see who they are.

Jose: So can you tell us a little bit about your own process then? 

Nathalie: Uh, about what? About my ancestors? 

Jose: Yes. How, how, how your process, how you look at it, how you deal with it, and how you move forward with it. 

Nathalie: Well, yeah. My ancestors, Hmm. Well, my, my, my closest ancestors, my father and my mother had like a very, heavy past both of them on several levels? Uh, physical, mental, spiritual, and, um, They were very fearful of life, both in their own way, you know, and, um, they had good reasons for it, because they had like really bad things happening to them. Yes. So they didn't trust life anymore. Mm. So I grew up with, uh, being fearful for people, for everyone, for example, and, um, being small because if they don't see you, they cannot hurt you.

Yeah, so you can say that that hold me back for many years, which it did, but it also taught me something else. It taught me to observe the world and to see how people behave, to understand what it is like to be fearful, what it is like to, to make yourself small, you know? So it showed me also the other side.

Jose: So that's also a reason where you are, where you are now? 

Nathalie: Yes, definitely, definitely. All those hardships, I, I, I'd say hardships when, during my, younger lives or even I think until my third when I was 37, things started to change, which was not that long ago. 

Jose: And, and, actually, and what was the change? Because you say you, you were because of the better in observing maybe, or maybe, well, better in observing, but you observed better.

Nathalie: The change came when my mother died when I was 27 and then I made a choice in my life that I wanted to live because the evening before my mother died, I wanted to call her, but I did not. And, um, next morning she died. 

Jose: She passed away. 

Nathalie: Yeah. And, so I could not, and that I had felt regret for that for a long time. So I lived my life for about 10 years, I think, like it was my last day. Mm-hmm. Almost every day. Which was very interesting times though, but a bit tiring. And, um, and when I was 37, my father died.

And I, well, the thing is, my mother did not truly live in her life. She was so fearful of the things that, that they had done to her when she was younger, that she was always, uh, I always say my mother was happy when she slept, you know? Then she was, when she was dreaming, 

Jose: There was rest. Peace. Yeah. 

Nathalie: Yeah. And then when she was not in this world, she was happy, but when she opened her eyes, then the pain came back. So when she died, I, I guess I had like, I also felt free in a way, and I don't wanted to live and experience life to the fullest because she. Never did that. Yes. Yeah. And then I was 37 and my father died. And, um, he was also, uh, very fearful. And he was the one, uh, like, uh, don't show yourself too much and keep everything back and, you know, uh, don't let people know you because you don't know they can turn to you. And, um, yeah, they did with, in his case they did so, but in a very bad way. And when he died, I stopped moving at all. Everything ceased to exist. So it was very interesting, you know? 

Jose: And how, how do we have to imagine that, that you stop moving, stop moving. 

Nathalie: Um, I had no work. I had nothing like, all, like all my friends were almost gone. I almost saw no one. I went to my therapist because, uh, I got stuck. I got really stuck in life. Yeah. There, there was nothing for weeks or months and stuff like that. I think it lasted for nine months. It was a very dark period in my life because they say when your, your ancestors and your parents die, and they did not solve the things that they carried in their lives, it gets transferred to you.

Mm-hmm. So with my mother, not, not not living her life, I wanted to live life to the fullest. And my father, when he died, I, I got his fear of life. So it took nine months and it became so dark. So dark that. One day I thought, you know what? Maybe perhaps this is the rest of my life. And I surrendered to this feeling and I had been trying to find work for months, after months after months, but nothing happend.

And when I decided this, but truly decided this with my heart to surrender to this darkness. Um, not knowing if it would ever change, but uh, being with in peace with it. Then all of a sudden I just got a call, do you want to work with us? And then everything changed. Yeah, everything changed. And then, 

Jose: So it was the start of a, a new new cycle movement.

Nathalie: Yeah. Yeah. It was start of a new cycle. That was 2012. Yeah. Thousand 12. 

Jose: So you went yourself also through all those stages, in fact, you just talked about 

Nathalie: Yeah, and then I, I started to notice, you know, what, what, what I carried from my mother, what I carried from my father, and I started to work it out because I wanted to know who am I without their past?

Jose: No, that's a big, big question. Of course. Yeah. Yeah. Who, who am I? 

Nathalie: Well, you know, who am I has two, two parts. You know, the, who am I, the Nathalie in this life? And then you have the who am that presents this life, you know, that is, yeah, pure consciousness actually. So in the yogi traditions, they always say, I am, I am that. I am. Which is a very interesting statement because when you say that, you instantly come back to yourself. So when you get lost and distracted about the past or the ancestors, oh, oh, who knows what, and you say, I am that I am, or just I am. You just center yourself. But you know, you, you go to all these stages and I realize now where I am now that they say, like my spirits tell me, they say, you could have done it much quicker.

I say, yeah, I know now. But then I did not know. Then I did not know. Now I know that I need to acknowledge. And when it is, the moment that it can be released, it'll be released. You know, like when it is, the moment that it can be released and a certain situation or a certain person or something that you need to let it go will show itself.

That's what I learned over the years. Sometimes people tell me, yeah, you can really work with it. I say, well, I don't believe in that anymore. You can be open for it. Yes. Yeah, you can be open for it. And then when the time is there, And the moment is there, something will come to you and you will see it. And say, okay, now I believe this time.

Jose: Yeah. So you say it always takes a specific time. You cannot force things or work, like, let's say, work harder on practicing that, process goes faster. 

Nathalie: Yeah. We always have an idea that we, that we are the ones that are in control. We are not, we never are. So working on yourself, I don't know if that's, that's the right thing to say.

Um, I think you can gain insight in why you do the things you do, why you behave a certain way, and you can think about how you would want it to be, because then it becomes a possibility. Yeah. So if you would see it like that, working on yourself. Yeah. That and that I believe. But by, 

Jose: I mean, more, that, one thing is that you work on, on, on things or go through things through the process and that you help yourself find a way or, uh, what you see also a lot that that's, that people force themselves to, to go through the process maybe more quickly, being very intense, busy with, with certain things and use, 

Nathalie: and then it becomes like a project.

Jose: Then, then yeah, then, and 

Nathalie: you know what, you know what, how it works out with project that you're on it, you know, all the time on it. 

Jose: Exactly. That's a process in its own. 

Nathalie: Yeah, exactly. So, yeah, and you need time to unfold itself. So there was interesting, because when we, before we started the, the podcast, we were talking about impatience.

Huh? Yes. And this is also like the, this impatience we have, we, we want it to be over now. And, um, and that's why we try to work hard to, to solve those things. But like you have like the, the purity of the process or the glamorous of the process is, is the thing that gets lost when we jump. You know, you jump forward, but being in the process, taking its time.

It's beautiful. Well, sometimes not during it, but when you look back and you say, oh yeah, oh, it's interesting. Then I was there and I, I did this and it had to unfold for like months or sometimes even years, and you can pinpoint all those times that it had influence on the way you behaved. You start appreciating and understanding that jumping ahead makes you fall back.

Yes. Because in the time you take to get somewhere, uh, it stabilizes inside you. So it is something that you can, can embrace much more. And when you jump, you know, like, uh, we're, we're not grasshoppers, you know, they jump and they don't know where they land. They jump blindly. And sometimes it's like, um, well it is, well, when my mother died after that, all those years, in a way I did that, just jump into whatever and sometimes was good and sometimes really bad.

Yeah. So I did learn from that. How interesting it was and yeah, how interesting it was, how, how painful it also was. Yeah, yeah. 

Jose: Yes. You went to both sides. All stages. 

Nathalie: Yeah. And sometimes you move, you move, you move, and then you can jump, you know? So it is not always like that. You go very slow. That's, that's not the way it is. You know, sometimes you, you do something and then for a time there is nothing, and then you realize that it's all gone. And, and you don't know what happened, but going from one moment or the other, at least that's how you see it yourself. You don't carry it anymore. Yes. So what happens? 

Jose: It's ma well, it's not the same, but you, maybe you can compare it a little bit with grief. Yeah. Uh, which you cannot force that. It's goes, uh, sometimes it's there, sometimes it's not there. Also in unexpected moments and sometimes after a really long time, it, it's, it, um, it relieves, 

Nathalie: yeah. That's how it goes. And when the legacy of the ancestors leave, you feel lighter. So when you turn around and acknowledge them, thank you for being my ancestor in this life. With everything you carry and the things that were still with me, I'm gonna hand it back to you or to whomever it was, because sometimes you believe it is. From the first relative or the second, you know, but we don't know. But when we, when we give it back and we say like, you know, it can go to the person that it really belonged to, then the whole line lightens up and uh, and you will feel it, you will feel lighter because it was somewhere in your field.

You were feeling it on your shoulder, in your back, or in your hip or somewhere. This is interesting how, how they show this to me. It's like you, they are still your ancestors, but the lines stop existing. Sometimes you have a very strong, like almost a cord to someone. Yes. Or to more. And you, you, it's like you feel that like you, you carry like 10 people behind you.

You cannot move forward in life. But when they are being acknowledged and these, these lines or these cords dissolve, then you can stand straight. So in the end, the legacy of the ancestors is that you realize that you are, capable of moving around freely, truly without them holding you back

Next time Jose and I will talk about gratitude, this being one of my favorite subjects. In the meantime, you can connect with us and find us on www.nathalienevali.nl, and on Instagram in the heart of being. Thank you for listening. See you next time.