What's up guys? Dj ESG Honest Wedding Advice season number nine. And I'm talking about ethnic weddings this season and I've gotten to the top 30 countdown of the funniest fucking things I've ever heard of when it comes to a wedding ceremony, a wedding cocktail hour or a wedding reception in anywhere not called USA. And I'm going to start right at the top number 30, with France and toilet breath. And I'm going to tell you you, on the day of a french wedding, the guests fill a toilet bowl with all the leftovers which were once deemed delicious and mix them with alcohol and everything they desire. A couple is then obliged to finish the bowl in order to build up strength for the taxing wedding night that is ahead of them. That's fucking disgusting.
Speaker 1:In scotland, blackening the bride. In the land of the vikings, friends and family, the bride show their love for the future bride by tying her up and covering her eyes in every gross thing they can find. This includes anything you can imagine and find in your pantry, such as flowers, sauces, mince meat, fish you name it. After bathing her in smelliness, she is taken for a night out with her friends. The belief is that she can handle this. She can handle anything in marriage and humiliation she will face with wed. Oh, my goodness gracious. Oh, thank god, I'm american. Indian marrying the tree. I talked about that in a past episode. Go back and look at that one.
Speaker 1:China shooting the bride. Shooting the bride. China is known for some weird wedding traditions, but one of them being the shooting of the bride with arrows. Of course, these arrows don't have any heads on them. It's a harmless tradition where the groom shoots three arrows at the bride. After targeting her, he picks up the arrows, breaks them in half and this is said to symbolize their love for each other. Definitely the only time shooting your wife is probably allowed. Also, they have the rat's tail in China. Check out that one too. I'll bypass that one to uh Morini. I can't even pronounce that M-A-U-R-I-T-I-U-S. Uh the chubbier the better Brides are sent to fat camps where they are forced to eat more and gain more. The chubbier the wife, the better. It is A sign of wealth, and also men consider bigger women in that country sexy. That's my type of wedding tradition, greece. On this special day, the best man and the rest of the wedding party get together and shave the husband, meaning he doesn't go to a barber. He lets his men of the groom's party do it. Oh, my goodness gracious, what if, for God's sakes, they cut his face by accident? Those pictures Can't wait to see them.
Speaker 1:In Fiji, the whale tooth Not all weird shit happens the day of the wedding uh, some start earlier. Or when you ask your partner to marry you. According to the articles in brides magazine, in fiji the man is obliged to present his future father-in-law with a whale's tooth, also known as the tabua. Most families with boys keep the sacred gift for when the time comes for their son to propose to their future bride. Uh, nothing says I love you more than a sperm whale tooth. I guess you can't make this shit up if you tried.
Speaker 1:In the Massey culture in Kenya, weddings are not exactly seen as a celebration of love. You're not allowed to choose whom you spend the rest of your life with. They sort of tell you who you're going to be with. And one week prior to the wedding, a meeting is arranged between families to discuss and agree on what the groom's family will exchange for his soon-to-be bride. On the wedding day, the woman will have her head shaved and rubbed with lamb fat and oil. The father then proceeds to bless the couple by spitting on his daughter's head and breasts for good luck and fortune. I could just see my dad doing that to my sister and the last one for this particular podcast in Russia, buying out the bride. Whoever said Russians didn't have a sense of humor. I'm Russian. I got a huge sense of humor.
Speaker 1:According to an article, they have a very fun pre-wedding tradition. I know about this. Before the wedding, the bride's wedding party will meet the groom at the door when he comes to pick up the bride and give him a list of tasks he needs to complete. I didn't have to do this, but I know people who did. This could be a number of things that he needs to pass, each one unable to proceed. A male friend dressed in a wedding dress. Once he offers enough, he gets his bride back. So basically you got to pay enough money to believe what you came with. I guess I don't know. I'm not sure what that number is, but my buddy once paid $1,000 and he turned around and saw his best man in front of him in a wedding dress. Those videos are all over YouTube. They're fucking hysterical. But that's 30 to 21 of the top 30 countdown.