Headliner Mindset

EVAN CUDWORTH - How To Develop A Healthy Relationship With Partying

Nik Cherwink

Evan Cudworth is a party coach who is redefining what it means to party. After attending over 1,000 raves and festivals and getting lost in the dangerous trap of substances, he now teaches people how to have a healthy relationship with partying and is making a powerful and important impact on party culture and the music community.

Follow Evan here:
https://partycoach.me/knowfun
https://www.instagram.com/evan_cudworth
https://www.tiktok.com/@evan_cudworth

And visit my site to join the mailing list, book a free coaching call or get in touch:
https://www.nikcherwink.com

Evan Cudworth:

So what a party coach does, and what I do is I redefine what that word party means to you. And if you're sitting there thinking about, what could that mean for me, I, I'll give you this invitation right now. Party can simply mean to take part in. Taking part in a, in a dance, in class, in whatever it is. If you could expand that definition of party, the party doesn't have to stop.

What's up everybody? Welcome to the Headliner Mindset podcast. Today's guest is a different kind of party promoter. Someone who has spent many years attending raves and festivals, experiencing all the magic that the scene has to offer, but also some of the darker side that comes with using substances and having a little too much fun. He is now a party coach and helps people keep that energy and spirit of partying alive. While staying healthy, being intentional, and growing as a person in the process. This is Evan Cudworth.

Evan Cudworth:

What's up Nick? So happy to be here.

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Hell yeah, man. I am, I'm so pumped to have you here, and I love, I love these episodes because you are somebody that I just randomly met on the internet, like Praise the internet. You know, it's so bad and it's so toxic and we fall into our doom scrolling and all these bad habits with it. And at the same time, it's so fucking cool because I literally, you just popped up on my feed the other day and I was like, wow, look at this amazing human who's doing really, really cool shit. And we started following each other and like, what? Two days later here we are getting to have a awesome conversation. So thank you for, for being down to jump on the Headliner Mindset podcast.

Evan Cudworth:

Dude, thanks for having me. It's like being, you know, social media is also, it's kinda like a festival. You know, when you see that person across the way who's vibing and you meet and suddenly you're, you're back at their apartment, you're like staying at their the next day. That's what social media could do for you if you use it like we do.

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Yeah. Straight up man. You're like, oh, I like the way you dance, bro. Like, let's get down, let's, let's have a little off and have some fun in the circle right now. I love that.

Evan Cudworth:

Ha. Heck yes.

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man. Well, look, I would love to first start off. Hearing a bit about what you do, you are a self-proclaimed party coach, which I think is so cool and that's why I was attracted to you.'cause you have carved out your own lane, you've carved out your own niche. We're serving very, you know, very similar communities, artists, festival goers, people in the dance music world. Uh, how did you get into this? Tell me the catalyst that inspired you to become a party coach.

Evan Cudworth:

Heck yes. Well, first of all, just thanks for having me on. I got to hear a little bit more about your story and, and the mindset that is required to be a creative, to be in these spaces that, to me, make life worth living. You know, like the art and the music and the people out there that are creating these experiences that are filled with memories. To have a mindset to exist in that space is tough, and to have support of that is so important. I'm somebody who, you know, through my twenties and thirties, went to over a thousand festivals and concerts. I worked in and out of the music industry. I was a raver. Uh, I'm a cellist. I grew up in the classical music world, uh, and spent a lot of time there. And yet from me, partying became such a part of my identity and it got so intertwined with the substances that when it came time to reevaluate my relationship to those substances, I couldn't imagine. A life without them. And it really started to eat me from the inside that I couldn't stop the substances.'cause my whole community, the people I love, the people places and things, I couldn't deal with people telling me that was toxic. I was like, these people are real to me. There's a, there's a lot real here. And when I finally came up for air and, and you know, we'll just get this outta the way I am now. I'm sober. Now I know here you're kind of on a journey or reevaluating things that you think about that, but. I knew that I was never going to give up these people places and things that I loved in the party scene and in this space, even though I now interact with that in a different way than I did before. So what a party coach does, and what I do is I redefine what that word party means to you. And if you're sitting there thinking about, what could that mean for me, I, I'll give you this invitation right now. Party can simply mean to take part in. Taking part in a, in a dance, in a, uh, fitness class, in whatever it is. If you could expand that definition of party, and you're so afraid of how boring your life's gonna look like on the other side of whatever journey you're on, the party doesn't have to stop.

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Yeah. I love that man. I love that and I love that you, you know, you talk about the, the intertwining of the substances and the partying, which like we oftentimes. We collapse together and we just see them as well. These two things go hand in hand and they don't exist without the other, but when you separate them,'cause like, okay, what if you're just getting fucked up and not at a party? You know, you're alone in your room by yourself getting wasted. It's not the same. Like we go to the party for the connection for the community. And being able to actually separate those two, I think is, is, uh, is so important. Right? So, oh man, I, I'm inspired by what you do. I think it's really cool.

Evan Cudworth:

Heck yes, man. Well, and like you too. I heard, you know, as you started this coaching journey, you were just trying to help your friends, right? Or help people of the world. Like I just wanna help people. And what I noticed, you know, having spent so much time around DJs, artists, and ravers and musicians in the music industry, I saw so many people. Struggle to figure this out and burning themselves out and not just the artists, the managers and the promoters and the o and the owners of a lot of these places. A lot of these deals are signed at 4:00 AM in the green room, but like how could you show up in those places? In a way that you could still show up for your job. And I saw so many people bomb out of this industry or leave things that they really loved because they couldn't figure out how to do both things at once. Uh, so that was a big thing is I didn't set out to be a party coach. I was just trying to help people that I knew. And I think I had a client one day who said, yo, you're, you should teach people how to party. Like that's what you're good at. And I was like, oh, we'll see. It's, it's, listen, I I, I acknowledge that it's an obnoxious moniker, but it is. I feel like it is my purpose.

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It's necessary, bro, and yes, it's your, it is your purpose, right? You know, you have that calling inside of you. There's something that is lit up that's saying, Hey, there's a community here that needs your help. It needs your service, it needs you to show up. And, and, I see that in you and, and I. Have that same thing in myself where it's like, if it's a calling and it's a purpose, you can't not do it. And and it is, it is needed. So when you teach people how to party, what are you teaching them? what are you actually helping people with? Like what are some of the things that you offer them?

Evan Cudworth:

Heck yes. Well, so, so I guess as for you, I, over this last year of your journey, how has your relationship to partying changed or, or how does it feel different for you now versus what before?

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yeah, to share a little bit about my story, like I started partying young, like partying was, you know, I smoked weed in sixth grade for the first time. Like I was in elementary school getting fucking high, you know what I mean? Like, first time I drank alcohol was in seventh grade before class at 8:00 AM like, you know, like we were little, we were little troublemakers, And uh, and I played rugby. I was in a frat. Like I was a huge. Huge party animal. Like, I could drink like a hundred beers and like, not stop, you know what I mean? And so, uh, I found the dance music scene became a raver, you know, started taking ecstasy, you know, rolling at at parties. And, uh, and it was, it was great. It was, it was so fun. But there was a moment where I realized, I'm like, I want to be working in this scene. I don't wanna just be in the crowd. I wanna be on the other side of the stage. And this is something I talk a lot about with artists is, uh. Do you wanna be in the crowd or do you wanna be on the stage? And you gotta fucking choose, you know? Not that you can't go out and have fun, but if you're going out and having fun every single weekend. And your weekend is turning into a two day hangover, you're not getting shit done. Like, you gotta make that decision. Where do you want to be in this scene? And for me, I remember seeing the people on stage and I was like, yeah, I, I love this raver shit. This raver life is rad, but I know it's not healthy. I can't sustain this forever. You know, like I want to be up there. And, um, to make a long story short, you know, I, I've kind of gone back and forth with my relationships with, uh, with substances and specifically with alcohol. You know, would, I've taken a three year break before, I've had a four year break before. I had drank for about this last year. I haven't drank, but the year before that I was, and you know, it was, it was coming back after four years of not drinking. And it was just like, man, this, it just doesn't serve me. And, uh, and, and for me at the end of the day, like, I love having I fucking love partying, and I don't need alcohol to have fun. Like, I have dance parties in my kitchen every fucking morning when I'm making breakfast. Like I'm going to Daybreaker on Sunday is the, it's like a daytime, you know, sober dance party like Fortunately, I've, I've gone through enough sober phases where I've how to be really comfortable in social settings with myself, and I am a very naturally extroverted person. I think maybe it's a little bit harder for people that are introverted and maybe they feel like they need that substance. But anyways, yeah. For me, specifically yeah, with, with alcohol, like I haven't drank, uh, this last year and it's been great. I haven't felt the need to, you know?

Evan Cudworth:

Heck yes. Well, two things there. First of all, have a blasted daybreaker. I literally keep this book on my, side. It's called Belong. It's written by one of the founders of

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Oh

Evan Cudworth:

ADA Agra. And what I use with clients, I use a lot of what she puts in this book, which is about how to find your people, create community, live a more connected life. and you talk a lot about mindset. One of the first things that I have clients and people that I'm working with do is I have this breakdown of mindset, and there's two ways you can think about having fun on one side, and I don't put a hierarchy of one is better than the other, but there's a consume mindset, right? It is fun to consume and to lose yourself to sort of disappear in that. It's fun to go and be an audience member at a concert or a rave, but you are, you are consuming kind of that vibe, right? then there's a cre.

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the escape. That's like the sort of world behind escape yourself side of right?

Evan Cudworth:

Yes. And I was a consum. I was a very good consumer for a long time. And there is a creator mindset, right? And that is a mindset of how am I getting into flow? You know, how am I doing things that are difficult to me, but I'm Preferably not doing them alone, you're doing them with a group of people or with a group of friends of you are in flow into something that is both difficult and fun. Uh, and simply explaining that those are possibilities for people. That there are two different types of mindsets you can approach when you have fun is often a pretty revelatory for people is they have this idea that fun just comes to you. Like if you just turn your, you know. If I just go back to, we talk a lot about like, let your inner child out. I, I think that's fine, but for most people, I think the idea of going and being a child and, and ecstatic dance on the beach, which is fine for me, but a lot of people that's not, that's not accessible to them. So what I, I just hosted a workshop last night called How to have Fun like an adult without channeling your Inner Child and basically te teaching people like And on one of my fellow party coaches, she talked about taking pole dancing classes and this was her portal back into like having fun as an adult because she's in flow, she's learning, she's doing something that's a little risque and very adult, but it's still channeling some of those things that we were more open to maybe earlier on in the life, which is, I'm not good at this thing. Breaking down these labels that we give ourselves. Even introvert, extrovert, I found, I used to think I was such an extrovert. I'd say Now I, I don't even know. You know, sometimes I need my energy and sometimes I don't. But if you can break down some of these labels and the We could get into the whole thing. I think the path, the how we, how mental health has pathologized. So many of the things that we say about ourselves is, I'm anxious or I'm depressed, or I'm, these things, these labels are helpful, but if they can become, if they become part of your identity, are huge barriers to having fun.

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Totally, totally agree, man. That I am statement is very powerful. What do you believe about yourself? How do you identify I am? Yeah. I am anxious. I'm an anxious person. It's like, well, no, I am feeling anxiety in this moment is very different than saying I am anxious. Right. So you, I'm with you on that. You gotta be really careful about what title you claim and own.

Evan Cudworth:

Are there any labels that you've, like shed for yourself lately? what have you been letting go of?

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such a good question. Um, I, I feel like, uh, being in Austin, I've been here for the last two years, I feel like I have gotten to be so much more, I guess, authentic. Like I just feel more myself and it's like I'm shedding these layers and these like labels of, it's almost like I'm stepping into this new, this new identity of like, I'm all of it. Like, I'm not this or that, or this or that. I'm, I'm the whole fucking spectrum. And just owning, owning that, uh, a lot more. How about you? Have you been letting go of any identities and

Evan Cudworth:

Yeah. I mean, a big one that just happened. You know, I spent seven years living in Venice Beach on, like, on the beach, and I loved this identity that I had built as this Venice Beach, bro. And I Rode skateboards and I was a fitness trainer on the west side of LA and I often say you could throw a skateboard in Venice Beach and hit a life coach everywhere, like ev, like everyone is doing that work and it was really cool and supportive to be there. But what I realized is it was kind of this human centipede of everyone was coaching each other and like being at this. Yeah, there was this very in which is both supportive but also I grew up here in the Midwest and I grew up. In a place where even words like mindset and uh, personal development are just not really accessible to people in a lot of those ways

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Yeah.

Evan Cudworth:

and letting go of that life that I had built for myself there. I had to leave it kicking and screaming really, but just letting go of that, that I, I'm still a Midwestern bro in a lot of ways, and I can simplify some of the language that I use around talking about these things has been, honestly, very painful, but also liberating at the same time.

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yeah. No, I think that's, I still, I've always seen myself in that way as well as, uh, really a bridge. You know, I, I. I'm fortunate to have been introduced to this personal development path when I was pretty young. 21, 22 years old, right out of college, and especially more on the spiritual side. Like I love to get woo woo. I love to go down the fucking rabbit hole and, and talk about these really high level, crazy concepts. But the truth is, yeah, a lot of people in the Midwest, they don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Right? If you haven't been introduced to this stuff yet, then It's gonna go over your head. It's not gonna resonate, and people are not gonna be into it. But it's so valuable. It's so, so valuable. And so being able to articulate it in a way, you know, being able to decipher the code, or I even say like rebrand, rebranding, personal development, you know, and being it to, to our audience and, and just like who Our people are, which for us, you know, yeah. We come from this sort of party rave culture. You know, there's a lot of people out there that are really in the work, and there's a lot of people that haven't been introduced to it yet. So I think that's part of our, our job and our calling and our purpose is to, is to introduce it to, to more people, but also not in like a weird two woowoo cheesy way that's either that scares people away or it's like over their head, right.

Evan Cudworth:

Yes, yes. And

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be, I'm still gonna be like a jacked bro covered in tattoos, dropping f-bombs. That's just who I am. like, I'm gonna talk about some deep ass spiritual shit too. and whoever, whoever wants to fucking roll with me, like come along'cause we're gonna have some fun doing it.

Evan Cudworth:

Yeah. Well, I'm curious to hear what your Experience of this is like in Austin, because I think, you know, I, one of the ways we met is I res, I stitched some video of some, like a fitness influencer who's kind of a mind, he's awesome. He's crushing it. You know, he's one of kind of like David Goggins type people, you know, that runs every morning and is doing this work. And he, he was talking about, you know, like, I don't party. I don't go out. Like I, I focus on these things and this. Some of it's true, like he probably, he has a great group of friends and people that are around him, but I think that a lot of people that are feeling like lost or anxious right now, the answer that a lot of people are feeding them is like, go and isolate. You know, go like work on yourself. Go build this confidence, build your muscle. And I think that that is important. But what I've seen is that a lot of people do that and that they never leave that. And we kind of are having this Huge. This anxiety, this paranoia that a lot of people are experiencing is because they forget that partying is important. We've been dancing around fires with, you know, for generations, uh, for like, that's what we do, both to celebrate and to grieve. One of the most powerful things I ever did, I got to go to a peyote ceremony. That was turned into, we didn't know, but it turned into like a grieving ceremony for an elder that had passed away. And I, I don't even wanna speak too much on it, but, but being around a fire of people that were like singing and dancing and grieving and was just such a powerful different way to like, experience these things that I think a lot of us were told, you know, talk about it with your therapist or go work it out in the gym. You know, and it's like we, I, you know, the partying can be a healing place with a different type of mindset.

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Well, and this is what I think it is, is one, there's the somatic release aspect to it. And for anybody that doesn't, that, that was a new word to me even just a couple years ago. Somatic release. What does that mean? But that means that there is energy stored in your body, right? That that. Emotions are energy in motion. I love that definition. Emotion is energy in motion. And when you're having an emotion, it's a feeling and there's energy and it's either we express our emotions and we let them out and they get to move like they're supposed to, or we suppress them and we ignore them and we numb them and we watch Netflix or TV or porn and we don't feel our feelings and we're really good at that, right? But. There's this thing about being able to move and like, I mean, when I say move, I mean literally moving your body to have what they would call a somatic release. Somatic meaning of the body. So when you go out. To dance, you're moving all of those stuck emotions that you have, that you, that you've been ignoring, that you haven't really been embracing or feeling. And I think it's just this, I think we're unconsciously attracted to that. You know, it's like, yeah, it's, it's fun to connect with people. It's fun to have that partying aspect of it, but we're like unconsciously doing healing somatic. Therapy by moving our body, you know, you feel good, you feel loose, you feel like you released something that the next day or that night. And that right there, man, that's, it's fucking pure. And I think that's what I actually commented on your, on your post was like, yeah, yes, let's not demonize partying. We've been dancing around campfire since the fucking beginning of time. It's part of our animalistic human nature. And it's a beautiful thing. and it's something that I think this is something I've been seeing more of really being intentional with how we party and, and specifically making it a ceremony. experienced my very first, uh, experience of this here in Austin. Not long ago. We were gonna go out to the, the, the, the popular house music like warehouse, nightclub, bunch of Ravers gonna go out, but I, it was with this new group I had never really been out with and We all got together and everybody formed a circle and put our arms around each other. This is like at like the pre-party before we went out and, and somebody led a ceremony and they were like, all right, you guys we're gonna go out. I want everyone to go around in the circle and talk about what's your intention? I. What do you wanna get out of this night? How, you know, and everybody went around and they shared, oh, I wanna, I wanna release this thing I've been holding onto. Or, oh, I want to connect, or, oh, I wanna, I wanna be sexy. I want to, I want to beat, feel sexy tonight. Like whatever their thing was. And I had never seen that before, but I was like, that's it. That's how you fucking party, right? Not just showing up mindlessly to be like, all right, we're going to just, you know, show up and get fucked up and, and be mindless about it. It's like, no, what do you wanna get out of the night? Take a moment to think about that yourself and have that conversation with your friends. Like that completely changed the way that I look at partying.

Evan Cudworth:

Nick that I've just lit up with, that I used to host these anti-anxiety pregames in LA where we would do exactly that. We would go around and kind of share our intentions and do that, and it does change the night because what's really cool about it, I wonder if you notice this, but the Perdue shares. You know, like, oh, like I want to feel really sexy, or I wanna release this thing. As you go off there and on the dance floor, if you see that person doing the thing, like it gives you a dopamine hit, just seeing somebody else experience it and. it's kind of like diversifying your portfolio of fund that you could have, right? It's like you're not just like invested in your own, but it's like you have this portfolio of a whole bunch of other people that are also out to experience this fund and you get to kind of get a contact high from them, experience that fun, but you don't know that unless it is stated, you know? And it's a little cringey to think about this, and it takes somebody like your friend. Pulling people together and doing that work and like that is scary, right? one of the things I do with clients, I say fun goes first, fun is not gonna come to you. Going first is the fun, You putting yourself out there and, and being the person to introduce yourself, to go out and to lead an attention circle before you go to a rave. You are the fun. Simply by going first.

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I love that man. I wanna party with you now. I'm like we need to go party, bro.

Evan Cudworth:

dude. let's do it baby. I, I love it.

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You, you know, I think for myself, and I've seen this for so many other people as well, your journey and your relationship with. I'm gonna just call it dance. The dance music scene, the dance music culture. A lot of my art, a lot of my audience are music producers and DJs and, and are probably a part of that world as you and I, you know, both are kind of from there as well. it changes over time. You know, you first get introduced to it probably in your twenties, and you're like, oh my God. You're in that phase of just like, let's just get fucked up and let's party. Let's have fun, and let's go to all these shows. And for most people. It's like you grow out of it, right? Where they're like, oh, I, I can't really do this. And for some people maybe that's, they go off and they get married and they have kids and they're like, all right, I can't go to raves every weekend anymore. But for a lot of us that are, and especially for all the artists that are listening, it's like. This is gonna be your world. If you are choosing to do this as a career, this is gonna be your world. And what's gonna happen is your relationship with the scene is gonna change. It's gonna have its ups and downs and go left and right. And you know, I know artists that go off and they start touring and it becomes their job. It, it becomes a very different experience than when you're just trying to get in or you're just going out to have fun. So. I think it's an important conversation to have around what do you want your relationship with this scene to be and what role do you see yourself playing in it?

Evan Cudworth:

Yes,

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that's, I think that's a conversation that needs to be had and needs to come to the surface. I.

Evan Cudworth:

yes,

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'cause I, I don't think it's something that people really think about. They just wake up one day and they're like, fuck. Like, I don't really like this anymore. This isn't fun anymore. And, and if I've chosen to be an artist and it's like, well this is my job now I'm, I'm kind of stuck here. And a shitty place to be.'cause you used to have so much love for the scene and for the culture.

Evan Cudworth:

Yes.

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so, I don't know. For me, I think. When we come back to thinking about the healing power of dancing, you know, the healing power that the collective consciousness has to be able to come together and dance and move and shake. And as an artist, like you're the, you're the captain of the ship. Like you're, you're a wizard, you're a magician that gets to come and like, curate all of this. And, and I think when you stay tapped into that. Power and you actually show up with intention and, and you even see yourself as the leader of the ceremony. Rather than just like, oh, I'm, I'm a DJ and I'm showing up to play some fucking tracks and not really being intentional about it. It's gonna be a very different experience.

Evan Cudworth:

Yes, I posted a workshop over the summer called How to stop chasing nostalgia because think that's a, it's a very powerful In my opinion, nostalgia is the most powerful drug possible. Like I just, I'm back in Chicago and I went to one of the first nightclubs that I've ever been to and the feeling of walking through that door again, I'm getting tingles on the back of my neck right now of like what it was like to be 20 years old and like walking into this nightclub in Chicago and everything seems so big and huge impossibility. And now. As a 37-year-old sober you know, guy coming back, it was, it could have been like a very depressing experience to go back to that.'cause I wanna recreate those moments and yet I'm curious, I would love to talk a little bit about growth mindset and kind of dopamine and how your relationship to those, if you use those with clients, because that's a lot of what I do with clients is give the science behind. What it's like to, to have novel experiences versus constantly going into a well of kind of chasing things that you've experienced before. Because I now understand that I'm never going to be able to recreate that past high that I had, but if I seek to create a new experience. I am able to create new memories instead of trying to live in the old memories. And it's probably a little too long to get in right now about kind of how I think about that, but yeah. Do you use growth mindset, a lot of the kind of stuff coming outta Stanford to talk about any of that Very much.

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Not really. Yeah, I don't talk about growth mindset per se. Uh, I'm very curious about dopamine and how that plays a role in all of this.

Evan Cudworth:

Yeah. Uh, so where to start? So, uh, if so, anyone, let's say, uh, If you haven't listened to Andrew Huberman podcast, he, he did one on alcohol that was very popular last year. But he's a guy outta Stanford, just goes really deep into science. he has two where he breaks down literally what I think. We have a lot of misconceptions about what dopamine is. It's not the thing that gives us the high. He uses, a visualization that I find really helpful, which is essentially Dopamine is like a wave pool where you are like, let's just use the example of, you know, going out every weekend and I was, cocaine was my thing, right? It was like every weekend I love to go out and I would create these huge uh, uh, two lines of cocaine will spike your dopamine. Something like 250 to 300% above baseline, right? And what you're doing, essentially when you're doing that, you're creating this big spike. And then you're having this crash afterwards, and essentially it's like a wave pool. the dopamine should fill the pool and come back to homeostasis afterwards. If you're constantly having these huge spikes, essentially you're creating waves, and the dopamine is like falling out of the pool. So like your pool is empty after the end of the weekend. And it's like you, you don't have that dopamine to rely on. So those Monday, Tuesday like super hangovers are because you've essentially depleted all of this dopamine that you need to do your day-to-day levels.

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Yeah.

Evan Cudworth:

Yeah.

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is something that artists, you know, even if you're not partying as an artist, you're gonna get a fucking dopamine high from playing in front of that crowd. And the bigger that crowd gets, the bigger the, the, the dopamine high is. You know, like the, the dream that so many people are chasing. I wanna just play this huge show in front of this crowd and it's gonna light you up. And. You're gonna have to go back to your hotel afterwards, or you're gonna be on a flight the next day by yourself. And I've heard a lot of artists talk about this, that, that crash afterwards is, is a very real thing. So something to definitely be aware of. Like even if you're not drinking or doing drugs, but if you're also drinking and doing drugs on top of it, then you're really fucked. Like you not gonna have a good flight home. You know what I mean? Coming home is really, it's, it's really, really gonna be hard. So you gotta be

Evan Cudworth:

yes, yes. And the act of learning how to naturally replenish that dopamine or to more naturally get in states where you can experience kind of waves and still come back to homeostasis afterwards, is a, it's a long process, but that's one of the things that I teach people how to do is. Yes, it's in your diet. Yes, it's things like meditation, but it's even in, when you're experiencing those huge spikes of being in front of a crowd or doing that type of work, no surprise that a lot of artists and comedians and people that are in these big places are seeking drugs and alcohol afterwards to continue. Being at those levels we are training our body and our mind, like it's constantly wanting to go back to those states. So, honestly, it's something that I am struggling with a little bit right now is I'm doing so much coaching and I'm on front of my computer and like I'm really like in this right now, that when I go out to dance or to do that work, that that was really easy for me when I was living in la. I notice it's a little bit harder for me now to get there naturally, uh, because I am, I've just changed kind of the homeostasis of how my brain responds to those types of things.

Track 1:

So what are some things that people can do to, balance their dopamine or some of these natural ways that they can, uh, I don't know if it's balancing it or keeping it in the pool so it doesn't fall out. you know, obviously like not getting super fucked up helps with that, but like what are some maybe day-to-day practical things that people can do to have a better dopamine system?

Evan Cudworth:

clean diet I think is obviously very important. There's a, there's a little chemical element to this, this is really hard for artists and musicians, but, you know, more consistent sleep schedules, you know, and having, having a way to regulate your sleep can be really important. Uh, but very simply, you know, doing hard things, whether that's through exercise, whether that's like a long session in, uh, if you're producing music or doing that type of work, but being conscious of I am getting in this flow state and like pursuing hard things and then to have An easier off ramp to that, right? That you're not like right away, like binging on food or, or sort of, sort of trying to double dip like after you're tired of having one of those things. If you're constantly trying to then keep that high going after you've done the tough thing, it's going to make it harder and harder to maintain that homeostasis.

Track 1:

Yeah. Something I hear a lot of artists struggle with is the basically bouncing back once, you know, The first stage of an artist's career, once they start doing well is gonna be that they start flying out on the weekends. You maybe you start getting some shows out of town, so you fly out for like maybe a Friday and a Saturday, fly back on Sunday, and so you have this, a lot of travel, probably not a lot of sleep. You're out at the club. What kind of tips do you have for people to get, I guess, centered again, you know, to get kind of back on course.'cause that's something I see just a, a lot of people really have a hard time with.

Evan Cudworth:

Yeah, so this is tough too, like having a, some type of meditation practice that you can implement. For me, sitting in silence has almost always been impossible. I'm very A-D-H-D-I have, there's a great, uh. I think it's Blondish and someone else, she has this album, it's called Buddha Bar, but it's this, it's like pretty good meditate, but it's like house music with a little bit of kind of like meditation in it. And I will literally put on like a a 12, they're like eight to 12 minute tracks and I'll simply put that on focus on my breathing. I just try to be in the moment with that. I'm not doing anything but focusing on. My breath. Being in the present moment and having practices like that, that can just bring you back into your body and that somatic word that you talked about earlier of feeling what's in there. Because very oftentimes you're gonna be, your head is still gonna be in that show that you were at last weekend or it's ahead of you, of, Hey, I really, you know, I can't wait to get to sleep or, or get to this next level. But coming back into that. State, even if it's not in complete silence, I found could be super supportive. Second is have somebody that you can call and talk to and just have that connection. Right. Just having a conversation. go on walks where I'll walk on the treadmill and I have people that I'll just scroll through and I'll just call and have a conversation with them and getting you out of your own head and thoughts, but having a Joyful or even not so joyful, like being able to talk through that with another human being. Keeping those real connections in that are not just social media, not just fans or managers that are trying to talk to you. Like who are these people that you can tap into that are going to support you to just regulate in those moments?

Track 1:

That's a really good one, man. And that's something I've been thinking about a lot as I find myself being online more and, you know, I'm making more content. I'm putting out clips of my reels. I'm, uh, just like living in Instagram a lot more. And then. I've just recently been thinking about like, who actually really matters to me. Like I, I love all of you. Don't get me wrong. I fucking love all of you, Evan. This is our first time meeting. I love you. I love all my listeners. I got such a big fucking heart and just a, an overflowing, massive amount of love that pours out of it, you know, and at the same time, we all have like. Our number ones and our inner circle. You got, you got like the real ones that have been there all along the way. You've got your, you know, your family, hopefully, you know, you've got those people. And, and I've had to kind of check myself recently. I'd be like, yo, how, like how often am I calling my sister and, and talking to her? I talked to my clients like. Every week, you know, I'm, I'm talking to, you know, hours with like my friends or different circles over here, but like, how, when's the last time I called my mom? You know, uh, when's last time I called that, like that homie from high school that like, I still, like, we have that deep, deep, deep, deep bond. And am I doing a good job showing up as a friend or am I so focused on myself and my, my goals and the shit that I'm going after? You'cause,'cause I think like those relationships are. Ultimately, I think what touches this deeper part of our soul and our heart, which is what we're chasing after anyways, right? We all wear everything that we do. We're chasing a feeling. We wanna have a feeling, whether that's the feeling of, of excitement and the high. I think deep down one of the biggest feelings we want is that feeling of love and connection. And we can get that by maybe getting a somebody to like our Instagram posts and we get that little tiny feeling of fake connection. But like actually picking up the phone and having that call with like, you know, with, with your homie, with your friend or your, your family, you know, that's, that's real connection.

Evan Cudworth:

Yeah. Well, and Finally, the boundaries around that I think are tough too. I'm experiencing some of this. There's been a bunch, there was a bunch of tiktoks over Thanksgiving of people saying, Hey, like this, this is the first year I didn't reach out. You know, how, how everyone would like send each other Thanksgiving text, you know, to your friends of like, Hey, happy Thanksgiving. And some people were expressing, they were like, Hey, you know, like I, I didn't do that this year. And like, only one person talked to me. I, I think a lot of people are experiencing this when I stop reaching out first. People don't reach back out to me. Right. And I was always the one to go first. And man, like I, I feel that, you know, I realized that I was that friend for a lot of people, and that's okay. But I was just thinking like, okay, let's take that a little bit forward. How about that person who, what if the person that you are normally texting is also sitting there being like, oh, I didn't te text first this year, and that person didn't text me. You know, like, it's not all, you're not the center of every of the universe, you know? So everyone else is going through this same stuff too. And you could go through the world constantly feeling like a victim or constantly feeling like people don't like me and I, my energy goes everywhere. Or you can realize that. When I call people, it's'cause I need to talk to them, you know? And if they pick up, it's a gift that they wanna talk to me and I'm happy that they're willing to take my call. And if they never call me back, I've put That's okay. You know, like I, I've, I'm at a place now in my personal development, it, for a long time I was not, I was very resentful at that. And to finally get to a place where I'm like, I'm grateful that people want to talk to me and accept my calls and the people that do call me, I'm really grateful for that too.

Track 1:

yeah, yeah. And I like. I've really been sitting on this idea that, you know, we are, we are spiritual beings having a human experience, not human beings having, having a spiritual experience and as a, as a spiritual being. I'm really identifying with that lately, uh, as I let go of these old, these other identities, that's the identity that I'm stepping into and owning. And with that, it's like I have an, I do have an unlimited amount of love to give, and so there is that boundary where it's like, all right, if I'm not getting it back, you know, like, especially in like a relationship, like I recently was started talking to somebody and then I was like, oh, you know, I'm not really feeling the same. It's the same energy from you, so, all right. I'm not gonna keep chasing this. Uh, but at the same time, uh, I can, I can always, I can always love more. I can always reach out. I can always send the text. I can always send the voice, voice note. And like, even if, even if you don't get a reply, you know, it can be, uh. It can hurt the ego maybe, but, but I think that's the, that's the distinction is just be like, you know what? I, I can, I can even, even if you don't reach out, you, like, I can still, I can still think about this person and still send a positive thought or a positive prayer their way. Like we don't have any limit to the amount of love, maybe the amount of energy, you know, we can't give

Evan Cudworth:

Yes. Yes.

Track 1:

away. Right. but yeah, I think I. I'm, I'm letting go of, and I've even noticed this like silly shit with like, you know, the podcast if I reach out to somebody and like, they don't want to be on it, it's like, all right, whatever I'm gonna do, I'm gonna still put myself out there and completely unattached, you know, like, you can love me back or not, but I'm gonna just be over here unconditionally loving as many people as I can.

Evan Cudworth:

Yeah, I, and this might be wa into territory, we don't wanna talk about it, but I'm curious. does your spiritual practice look like? How has that evolved? How does that show up you now?

Track 1:

Yeah. The, the big thing for me, and I, and I teach this to my clients, I, I teach this idea of, uh, I call it the 15 minutes to manifest, and it's basically Five minutes to write down your goals every day, five minutes to practice gratitude and five minutes to visualize. And I have a little system and a process for that. and I've, basically created like my own playlist. I'm realizing more and more like music is just the anchor point of my life and it guides everything. Like I, from, when I wake up, I have a playlist that's like this Epic Han Zimmer shit where I, I just go walk outside and I do breathing exercises and I just like get air and blood flowing through my body. Then there's like a three minute little meditation part. And then there's the gratitude part. And it's the gratitude part that, that's where I feel like I have my deep, that's my real spiritual practice.'cause it really is. I'm just, I'm saying, I say a little prayer and I've never, I didn't grow up religious. I'm not like a, a praying kind of person, but like I sit there and I, I have a conversation with whatever that higher power is and I'm just, and it's just, the conversation is just, thank you. Thank you for my life. Thank you for my breath. And I like, literally like, breathe in and I feel it. I'm like, thank you so much for this breath. Thank you for being alive. And, and I'm just, I've been doing that like every morning and uh, and it just deepens this relationship that I have. You know? I ha I gotta show you, I had the wildest, wildest, this is happened. The ki actually twice recently. I was driving, this was on Thanksgiving. I was driving to a buddy's house to do a little, we were doing a little Thanksgiving together, and as I was driving there, uh, there was just the most beautiful sunset. And the, the i, the sunsets out here in Austin are fucking incredible. It's beautiful. I was driving in my car, I was by myself listening to some music and I just, I like freaked out. I had this like overwhelming. Feeling of just excitement. I, I was like in my car, I was just like, fuck yeah. I was like, oh my God. Like look at that sun. Oh my God, it's so cool. But it was like, that was a spiritual experience, you know? It was like, there was just this, this overwhelming gratitude and bliss of just being alive, you know, thinking about the fact that it's like, yo, we are one and 4 trillion little sperm that fucking made it You know what I mean? Like, we won the lottery that we're here. So, uh, when I think of. my spiritual practice is just as like, coming back to this, place of gratitude of just being stoked to be here.

Evan Cudworth:

Yes. and very practically, you know, for any artist and people that are listening, I don't know, have you ever used Julia Cameron's the artist? Way familiar with that? Yeah, Like Marty

Track 1:

run, uh, run multiple coaching groups around that. When, it will come again next year. 2024, we will do another one at some point. But, uh, Julia. Cameron. Big, part of like what I teach and work on is through her stuff as well.

Evan Cudworth:

Yes. So she, she has made this artist way, but there's a, she has a bunch of subgroups as well. One of them is, I think it was called like the creative path or something, but it was essentially about reforming a spirituality around your creative practice. And as I was kind of struggling with what That looked like for me. She just has these very practical exercises and she, she talks about, I was really stuck creatively and sh she was like, journal in the morning of like, you know, God or higher power. Like what am I supposed to create today? And just write that out over and over and over again until something comes

Track 1:

Hmm.

Evan Cudworth:

and some days I like didn't get very much, but in the days that I did when you talked about that, like unlimited energy,

Track 1:

Yeah.

Evan Cudworth:

I felt like I had unlimited energy to create what I needed for the today because what it was coming from something outside of myself.

Track 1:

Yeah,

Evan Cudworth:

Rick Rubin talks a lot about this of that, you these, that our creativity is this gift from God and things like that. But I didn't understand what that meant until this exercise was just such a practical, so whenever I get stuck, I should do it more too. But whenever I do get stuck, I go back to that of part of just my journaling practice in the morning is like, not even what my goals are, but like What am I supposed to create today? And sometimes I'm very surprised by the answer that I get. it's not what was on my agenda today or this week. It's usually around like reaching out to somebody or connecting with somebody that I haven't talked to in a while. And like through that I'm able to create a lot more.

Track 1:

And that's why coaching is so powerful because our job really is ask better questions. Then the question that we're often asking is, what do I have to do today? What's all the shit I have to do? Why is, why am I not as far along as I want to be? Why is this so hard? Why does nobody love me? These are the questions that our little egoic mind is oftentimes so running rampant and asking, and so starting to ask better questions.

Evan Cudworth:

Yes.

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am I supposed to create today? Who am I supposed to love today?

Evan Cudworth:

Mm-Hmm

Track 1:

is the best version of myself look like? know, start, you start changing the question. It starts changing the direction of your focus. It starts changing the direction of your energy. It starts changing the results you get in your life.

Evan Cudworth:

Mm-Hmm.

Track 1:

So we gotta, we gotta interrupt that pattern with some powerful questions.

Evan Cudworth:

Yes.

Track 1:

Yeah. Let's come back to partying because. I really like this idea that, partying gets to be even like a lifestyle. Right? And that separation of the substance use versus the, the party itself to take part in, as you said earlier. Right. what are ways that you party that involve getting fucked up?

Evan Cudworth:

Well, I'll just start, you know, from the GetGo, I, I had the opportunity to go to Burning Man this year. and be there, you know, completely sober. And that's the second time I've gone in that experience. And or the second time I've gone sober, I've been four times. But like waking up, I would go to sleep at like 10:00 PM and wake up at four or 5:00 AM and take my bike out to the sunsets, sun sunrises and like. Being out there and seeing people that have like been up all night and then to bring my energy to like hype them up. And you can see people, like when I bring my energy to that space, seeing them light up and joy, like I'm again getting chills doing that. It's just, it's so much fun. That's fun to me. Right. That is partying is like bringing the energy up for other people. Uh, at the same time I was playing cello in the symphony. And being able to be like this tiny little part, like there was, I think 12 cellos in the Burning Man symphony. Like it didn't yeah, they literally bring whole symphony orchestra there

Track 1:

that. I was out there a couple times. That's

Evan Cudworth:

Which was.Amazing. And yet my ego was like, so, you know, uh, it, it was a lot of time. It was a big time commitment to be there and to to practice. We had like a bunch of rehearsals and I was like, I could be out like partying and do and doing other things, and yet I was able to use this mindset as like partying means take part in. I am taking part in something bigger than me. And even though it might not really matter, like nobody would be able to tell if I wasn't playing. Like the sound wouldn't be very different. I simply had to come back and be like, but I am here and like I am taking part in something that is much bigger than my ego wants it to be right now. And honestly, that's what I struggle with the most right now is my, I still want. Credit. I still want to be seen. I still want to be the center of things and letting go of that and being able to be okay as a part of the crowd is really kind of this where I'm at in, in my journey right now. partying could be both of those things. It can be, like you said, it could be the de it could be leading, it could be up in front of the crowd. It could be creating for the other people, but it, it can also be take taking part in. In a way that is not about consuming, but simply being a very small part of something bigger that's happening.

Track 1:

back to that question about what is your, what's your role in the community and as artists and DJs that are pursuing this goal of Being on stage, being the center of attention of being, you know, playing that role. Yeah. Like that is your path. That is your calling. That is where you get to be. And I think there's something really powerful. And also just seeing yourself as a part of the whole organism, the whole ecosystem, where it's also like, I love, you know, insomniac calls, the, the attendees

Evan Cudworth:

Head headliners, Yeah.

Track 1:

Where. You wouldn't exist and your role wouldn't exists without the role of also the audience. And so to humble yourself a little bit and actually see yourself as just part of the entire sea.

Evan Cudworth:

Yes

Track 1:

And the whole ecosystem where we're all kind of, we're all on the same page. And there's even this cool movement right now where you're seeing all the DJs are now like on the dance floor, like,

Evan Cudworth:

Yeah. Oh,

Track 1:

style, where it's like, all right, I don't wanna be up here anymore. Like put me in the crowd with where I belong. And so think that's, as your ego starts to get bigger and you start to see yourself as like, I'm the I'm the artist and I have all the fans and everybody's coming here to see me. It's like, all right, homie, check yourself. Right? Remember that you are just part of this whole ecosystem, and also just part of the bigger industry as well. play your role. Whether that's, you know, being, being the creator, being the dj. Also thinking about, well, how, how else can you contribute to the scene? A lot of DJs and people that I've interviewed in the past as well, well, they came up as a promoter. They were out there handing out flyers and that's, they were helping the scene. They were helping grow the scene. They were going to the club. They're, you know, setting up speakers. They're doing whatever they can to contribute and be of service. And then, you know, whether that's just through karma or through connections, but that, that, that, uh, energy will come back to you as well. Uh, and so really like Paying attention to where I think that that little ego pops up. I talk about the ego a lot. On, on here. That's a big, that's like third member of the Headliner Mindset interviews every time

Evan Cudworth:

yes. Well, you just mentioned being of service and I think that's super important and is actually a way to party. a visualization that I use with clients. I call it the triangle of anxiety. essentially is like, if you're ever in a social situation, you're anxious. If you put your fingers, you know, like your two index fingers or your thumbs touching each other, you make a little triangle. Imagine that triangle is In the middle is you're anxious, but on each of those points of that triangle are three things that you can do that can actually help you exit the state of anxiety. One of them is connect, right? So whether that's a deep conversation, whether that's something there, but being of service and going and like helping. If you're at a house party and you're anxious, be like, Hey, can I like bring drapes out or can I like help in the kitchen? Simply by being a part of is gonna help you get out of that anxiety. Another point of that triangle, I call it like getting clear, and this is essentially we talked about like Breathwork exercises or like taking a walk or setting an intention, but it's essentially taking you outside so you get a little more bird's eye view of, you know, there's a big thing that's going on right here, right now. And actually my own feeling of anxiety is maybe not as important as I think it's right And the top of that point at the triangle, and this is. In some ways the hardest to achieve, but is the most fun, which is essentially like going crazy or like catharsis. And this is like the fun goes first, right? This is like going and starting the dance party. This is, plug it in your phone and play it on the ox. You know, this is kind of becoming bigger than you are right now. But if you were on a really somatic sort of way to think about those things, you could put your fingers together like that. And. Think about, Hey, if I do one of these three, yes, exactly. If you do this, how can I get one of these three things? And you can get yourself out of a state of anxiety and take part in the party by doing one of those three things.

Track 1:

Yeah. I think that for me, definitely the focusing on Service or just focusing on someone else is, has always been my biggest way to get out of it, right? Because we get, we're just so focused on ourselves. We're focused on this scenario that we're scared of happening and whatever. Like we're, we're hyper-focused on us. And the minute we start to shift that focus, it seems to break our, break us out of it. You know, I've been in the like worst funk of my life before just feeling like shit. And then all of a sudden I see, I'm like, oh, 12 o'clock I got a client. At 12 o'clock on the dot that that zoom call starts and it's, it's not about me anymore, it's about that person on the other side. And every single time, an hour, you know, at the end of the call I come out and I'm like, oh, I feel a lot better. You know? I was just able to help this person. I got to stop focusing on my shit. Uh, so that's, that's a great Yeah. Great way to get out of it. Yeah. So if, People are interested in working with you. What kind of programs do you offer? Do you just do one-on-one stuff you have like group coaching stuff? How, how do people work with you?

Evan Cudworth:

I guess we're the kind of the middle of a, so two things have been working and I'm kind of like doubling down on both of them. So I have done a lot of one-on-one work, and I sort of have a three month one-on-one membership that I do with people that is a, to boil it down, it's like, I will help you have. Extreme, like sober confidence. Like even if you're not interesting getting sober or being sober, the ability to simply be your best self without relying so much on substances and social situations, I will get you to a place where that is a possibility for you and then you could do whatever you want outside of it. That is more, more 1 1 0 1. The group coaching that we've done, and I actually find the group coaching is actually more effective for most people because to see other people going through this work and to do this. so we are relaunching in January with a monthly subscription. It's called the no fun club, spelled KNOW. But basically, each month we do workshops. It's a lot of this mindset and dopamine coaching. So each month we take you through, I call it like no fun one oh one, where we teach you how to use growth mindset in your social life. So how do you think about dopamine? How do you create what is fun for you? And let go of those old definitions. You know, maybe partying for you is completely different. Maybe it is. Becoming a yoga teacher, you know, maybe it's something else, but getting you to realize that your old definition of fun is not serving you and you need to let it go and create something new, it's really hard to do that on your own. So through group coaching, through Zoom, we have a WhatsApp community that you're watching other people that are a little bit ahead of you and maybe a little bit behind you. It really cre like accelerates the growth to be in a community like that.

Track 1:

That's amazing, man. It is so inspiring to hear about the mission that you're on, the way that you're serving. I think it is such an important, it's just such important work, man, and I'm really happy to be connected with you and see what you're doing. Uh, I'll be sure to put your, uh, your Instagram, your TikTok, and the show notes. Everybody go follow Evan. He, he's obviously just a fucking badass guy and I cannot wait. Until the day that you and I get to meet and fucking dance our asses off together.'cause I'm putting it out there. We're planting that seed. This shit's going down, baby. It's gonna happen.

Evan Cudworth:

I'm so excited, man, and I expect you to go first and lead our intention circle before we, before we, got party. So, dude, I like, it's so cool the work that you're doing, like artists and people. I, I'll just close with this because I think I, when I listened to your story a little bit earlier, you know, as coaches, like, yes, it's good to be in service and to to be with other people, and yet we all deserve and need our own support. You know, and I think as artists and people that are out there listening, you are so used to maybe serving other people or like creating these experiences for other people that if you don't have that support behind you, cup will be empty and it will be really hard to go on. So it's so important that people can relate to you and, and have the support that you offer because it's been very important for me, the coaches and teachers I've had in my life that have helped me through a lot of this too.

Track 1:

Yeah, a thousand percent. Man, as I always say, we are not here to play the game of the lone wolf. We are pack animals. We're supposed to be working together. We need to be in community. We need to be in support of each other, uh, giving and receiving. You know, that's what it's all about. So, uh, happy to have you in my tribe. Now. The, uh, community is growing. You are the man. Thank you so much for taking the time to come on today.

Evan Cudworth:

Thanks so much, Nick. Party on.

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