Space & Grace

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1:33

How many of us need more space? For the things that bring us peace. What about the things that help us heal? Oftentimes that space just doesn't seem to be there. I used to speak on how one needed to devote time each day to meditation as though it is an easy thing to do. It was my actual job to meditate. So, of course I found time for it. Now that I have a demanding office job in addition to this one and a busy family life. I see just how hard it can be to claim 10 to 30 minutes a day. I am glad I know the benefits of doing so, because otherwise I'm not sure I would believe it is worth it or even possible. I'm also glad I know that a few short breaks in the day to get still and be mindful. Can create a ton of momentum. As I recognize that I have to claim time and space for meditation in my daily life. And see how forcing it will not work. It becomes clear that having grace for the apparent lack of space. Is the only way to create it. Well, Maybe not the only way. But the only way for me that will create lasting change. I'm glad my age and experience have brought patience. I can recognize that it may take time to carve out space in a way that truly works. And I can explore options until I find what feels right. The messy effort will eventually give way to a clean routine. I will find my way back. So for now, when I feel like I'm flailing around and trying to keep my head above water, maybe I can take a deep breath, kick my feet up, and remember that I can float. Right now, especially I see so many people stuck in the same state of overwhelm. I find myself in. We have all this information about what we need to be doing. And how, if we don't do the thing. It will cause ever lasting harm. Here's what I'm noticing. We are getting stuck in the information gathering stage. Whatever change we are thinking about making is unknown, or at least some part of the process is right. Otherwise we would know what to do. And it wouldn't be a thing. So we continue our search for information that will bridge the gap between unknown and known. Oftentimes, this search leads us to the internet. The digital world we are in is designed to keep us there. We end up spending our precious time scrolling. Gathering information. No judgment on the usefulness of that information. And then we look up and find that we don't have time to cook that new recipe or meal prep or meditate or take any action that will move us forward on this journey. We have gained no momentum. And it is really easy to get stuck. I'd like to share what I am doing to shift out of that cycle and create momentum. Maybe you can borrow from this plan. Or use it as a jumping off point to create the plan that is just right for you. My goal is meditation, because I know that I do so much better in all areas of my life when I am centered and balanced. So first. I identify my problem. I am not meditating regularly. Got it. Okay next, what should I be doing? This is a trick question. And it's important. What ideas do I have in my head about the right way to meditate. Do I feel pressure to sit cross-legged in pure silence every day for one hour, then collect, dew drops from the flowers in my garden. While I spend another hour of silence connecting with nature, grounding barefoot in the soil with my hands in the dirt, singing with the birds and the butterflies. Because, let me tell you something right now. That would be amazing. And that is completely unrealistic for my current life. But here's what I have done. I have acknowledged the quote perfect scenario. I have running as a background program in my head. I have acknowledged that I will not achieve that. And honestly, I have no desire to achieve that on a daily basis. So now I can identify what is an attainable goal for right now. I would love at least 30 consecutive minutes a week. I know that my schedule is too full right now to claim a 30 minutes space every day. But I can find a 30 minute block. Once a week. Will once a week cut it for me? Nope. Okay. So now we get granular. I know that my daily schedule is demanding. I know that at the very least, I need to claim a few minutes to center and clear my energy when I wake up and before I go to sleep. This is where habit stacking is huge. What do I do every morning already? I brushed my teeth. I put on my makeup. I get dressed. I take my supplements. I sleep as long as I can. And I have a pretty speedy morning routine. That's how I function best. I've tried waking up early and devoting time to meditation before I start my routine and I end up really, really resentful of the lost sleep, and completely unable to achieve the goal of centering my energy. That's who I am. I can honor that and love myself anyway. I can recognize that it may work for Mel Robbins and Jay Shetty. And that is just great for them. I'm not bad or broken because I'm not a morning person. Instead of getting stuck here because I'm not doing it the way someone else says I should. I work with how I know I operate best. I focus on what I already do and expand on that. I can hum while brushing my teeth. Focusing on the vibrations as they move through my body, setting an intention for those vibrations to release any stuck energy I may be holding. As I get dressed, I can call in protection and guidance for the rest of the day. As I take my supplements. I can say I choose health. I love this body. And set an intention to make choices throughout my day to support the healthy function of my body, mind and spirit. And then I can go about my day. Knowing I have claimed space for me. It wasn't much, but it was powerful. And I was completely present in those few minutes. At the end of the day, I find other ways of habit stacking. I really value a strong bedtime routine for my child so that she will get consistent sleep because when she does. I do. So that is the only part of the evening that is regular. A few years ago, I started a practice. We call angels and spirit guides. Because Ophelia was waking up scared in the middle of the night. And I'm not a nice mommy when I get woken up in the middle of the night. So after books and before bed, I say a prayer of protection for Ophelia with Ophelia. What started as a way to make her feel safe. Has turned into our family's most regular practice. We all sit together and I speak protection and love over the entire family. It takes about five minutes. I say almost the same thing every night. It is the time when we call back to us all the parts of ourselves we may have given away today. We lovingly return all the parts of others we may have taken on today. We clear our energy completely. We clear the energy of our house completely. We call in protection and love to wrap around each of us as we sleep deeply through the night. So that we may wake up rested and ready to have a wonderful day. In this five minute block of time. I prepare my little one to sleep soundly through the night. I meet my needs for centering and clearing my energy. Our family shares a very special time together. And we all have a chance to let go of the chaos of the day. Habit stacking at its finest. And now I have met my goal of meditating before bed. And after I wake up. I keep doing this daily. Until it just seems like everyday life. And at that point, I've built momentum to be able to claim the next five minute block of time to create space to bring more of what I need to be my best. Life will change. Schedules will change. I will have to make changes to this plan. You too will find ways to achieve your bite-sized goals. You will make progress. Inevitably something will come up and throw you off your game. You will have to regroup. And you will get to assess your situation. I encourage you to assess regularly. Is this working for me? Do I need more space for anything else? Do I feel like I should be doing something? Is that realistic? Do I need to make big changes in my life? How can I break down those big changes? So that I can make a series of small shifts until I gather enough momentum to achieve those goals? How can I start to carve out the time needed for all of this? And most importantly, how can I give myself grace? As I create that space. Here's what I've come up with. The more, I feel I need to do a thing. The less, I want to do the thing. Then I end up in a sticky situation because I know the doing of the thing will be good for me. I also know how futile it is to push. So once again, I sit with my new found patience I get cozy in the friction. Extending myself, grace. Until I can make the space for what I know is mine to do. Space and grace. They will both come. Grace. I've got and must remember to share. With others and with myself, Space will appear when I am ready. I must remember that just a little bit is beneficial. And that when I collect these bits, They turn into that pool of time I'm looking for. So what if we love ourselves into the changes we want to make? What if we love ourselves into eating better? Being present. Meditating. Living. Fully. What if we give ourselves grace? While we create this space to evolve into the best version of ourselves. And then we just keep doing that. Until we find. That we are right where we want to be. It is possible. And it is a goal that Is. worthy of our efforts. So dear listener. May your heart be filled with love. May you direct that love back to yourself. May you feel encouraged to be gentle with you as you change your life. One bite sized step. At a time. In a way that works for you. Because you. are wonderfully made. May you honor, that you are a unique being and get curious about how to work with that. Instead of trying to fit into a mold made by someone else. When you do this. I have a feeling. That light inside you will shine brighter than ever before. And that light. My friend. Is what makes the world a better place.