Restful Resilience: Navigating Sleep for Special Needs Parents and our Kids

Did you know that 40-80% of kids on the spectrum have issues with sleep?  Which in turn, probably means the parents or caregivers have issues with sleep as well.
On today's episode we talk to a sleep coach, Amy Korn-Reavis. She shares with us not only the benefits of getting enough sleep, but also the possible issues from the lack of sleep.
Other topics are:
* strategies for a good bedtime routine
* How electronics may affect sleep
* why melatonin isn't for everyone

You can learn more about Amy Korn-Reavis and her sleep coaching at http://www.akorncoaching.com

Are you someone who loves someone on the spectrum? You can find 5 key strategies for parents of kids on the autism spectrum at https://www.championsofautism.com/5-strategies

We would love to have you as a member of The Champions of Autism Community. This is a community for anyone who loves someone on the spectrum. Our stories are different, yet familiar.
https://www.championsofautism.com/community

Are you someone who loves someone on the spectrum?  You can find 5 key strategies for parents of kids on the autism spectrum at  https://www.championsofautism.com/5-strategies

We would love to have you as a member of The Champions of Autism Community.  This is a community for anyone who loves someone on the spectrum.  Our stories are different, yet familiar.
https://www.championsofautism.com/community 

Transcript

 hello everyone, and welcome back are the Champions of Autism podcasts. This is a place for anyone who loves someone on the spectrum. We are Joe and Stacy Buzako. Today's topic is sleep and or the lack of it. Yeah. So did you know that between 40 and 80% of kids on the spectrum have issues with sleep, which in turn means that the parents probably have issues with sleep as well.

So our son, Jack who is, oh, he'll be 17 tomorrow. Mm-hmm. Struggled with sleep for a while. I would have to lay down next to him to put him, to get him to fall asleep. He just needed that extra comfort. That went on until he was probably three or four years old, I think it was. And then finally it was, it was totally disrupting me because then I was falling asleep with him and then having to get up and go into my own bed.

And then it still, once he was able to finally sue himself back to sleep , we still had problems with his sleep because he would get up at like two, three o'clock in the morning and be up for the day. Which of course would then disrupt our sleep and everything too. So sleep has been something that has been , a constant need for us to continue to look at.

He's,  kind of tapered off a little bit. He is on a little more of a, a schedule now that his body has kind of adapted to, but today we want to talk about. It's something that we didn't have when we were having the significant sleep issues, and that is a sleep coach. So I would like to introduce our friend Amy Corn Revi because she helps people sleep better.

So Amy, thank you so much for joining us. We are excited to hear you share about how you help people sleep better, and especially how parents of kids on the spectrum can not only help their children but help themselves maybe get some better sleep. Absolutely. Because that's so important is, is , the basis of  your health and your children's health and, and especially when they are special needs children.

Mm-hmm. Yes, for sure. So we'd like to start out, tell us a little bit about yourself. What you do, kind of who you serve, maybe how you got into that, or whatever you'd like to share about your journey with this. So, I started as a respiratory therapist, which means that it was all about the lungs and breathing and went into sleep and working in a sleep lab and taking care of people who had sleep disorders like sleep apnea which we do get quite a few children who have sleep apnea who end up in the sleep lab.

Who are on the spectrum. Yes. We one of those sleep studies. Yeah, we, and it was, it was the longest night of my life. It is a very long night for everybody involved. But the thing is, is one, as a respiratory therapist, I was always that person who, like, when they had a problem, I would be the, or they need somebody to learn something new, I'd raise my hand like, okay, I'll take care of it.

Let me try. And so when I got into sleep, That was the thing that I did was I was always the one who wanted to learn more. And so as I, I've moved up in the field and I was running a sleep lab and I was teaching at a college, and I found this really big gap in sleep health, which was, if you have sleep apnea, they'll treat the sleep apnea.

But if you're just having difficulty sleeping, they throw a pill at you and say, wishy luck. Ah. But nobody was really helping these people to find the little changes that they needed to make. Mm-hmm. To be able to sleep better. Mm-hmm. Because it's all about those little changes. It's not, we don't need to be changing the whole world.

We just need to be making little changes, small incremental changes, and then sleep improves. Okay. And so if nobody's helping you do that, then we can't ex how are we expecting people to get better? Right, right. We're just up the dosage of their sleeping pills pretty much. Right. So I've been blogging about this for I believe, 13, 14 years.

I try not to look back because it just makes me feel older than I am. But so as I started to do more of this, I actually had a company come to me and ask me if I would start sleep coaching their executives. And I said, absolutely. I'm doing it anyway. Yeah. But if I'm gonna coach, I gotta learn. You know, I'm the one who raises a hand.

So I went and I got my certification, both as a life coach through the International Coaching Federation and as a health and wellness coach through the board national Board of Health and Wellness Coaches, which is one of the medical boards supervises that Uhhuh. Cause I believe that we should have standards and practice.

When we're practicing. So I work, I usually work with adults, although I do work with families a lot too, because, you know, mama's not sleeping. If the kids aren't sleeping right. Mama's not sleeping. If daddy's not sleeping, it's so, it's, it's all, it's a family thing for sure. If anybody has a sleep problem, everybody is not sleeping.

Mm-hmm. Yes. True. And so, I tend to work mostly with women. Cause women are the ones who are willing to come to and ask for help. Okay.

That's the honest truth. That's how I start. And then we start digging into things and we find out, okay, let's late, let's look at the real problems here. So, so , I always am like, let's be open and honest and let's, let's really kind of dig in and, and find those problems so we can find little solutions to 'em. Yeah. Hundred percent. 100%. And I know Amy before we started our podcast, I asked a little bit about you, some of your credentials and, and Could you share with our, our listeners a little bit about your background, your journey that you've taken that actually get to where you are right now?

So, like I said, I'm a respiratory therapist. Mm-hmm. But I also have my MBA because as I was managing sleep labs and as I was running college programs, I believe that you have to understand the business part of it. But I also, as I was pursuing that, I also. Got my clinical sleep educator certification when they started that.

That is a newer credential. It is only about 10 years old. Okay. So I was one of the early adopters to that because we  do a lot of education and sleep. Mm-hmm. But that didn't mean I necessarily knew about coaching. And so that's when I started taking coaches and courses in communication and positive psychology and some of these other communication styles and sat for my as coaching certification from the International Coaching Federation.

But that really didn't talk about health and wellness and that's really I really see myself more as a wellness coach because if you're not sleeping well, every other part of your health falls apart. Yeah, for sure. And there are so many other diseases that are  directly associated with poor sleep.

Yeah. Yeah. So I got my health and wellness certification because I knew, that those are the skills I needed. Okay. So I'm always pursuing those. I love that. So with your experience, , you've been doing this for a while, you said you've been blogging about it for at least 13 years.

So , this has  become a passion, I would imagine, for you. Yes, yes. What are some of the common sleep challenges that. Autistic children might be facing, which like we keep saying, therefore the parents are probably facing them as well. So the biggest things that we have is the bedtime routines, creating a bedtime routine that works for their children, are getting their kids to actually go to sleep.

Mm-hmm. And what to do when they wake up in the middle of the night. Because they have to learn how to put themselves back to sleep. Right. And, and a lot of times when they're on the spectrum, they didn't learn that as a baby. Mm-hmm. So we usually teach that to babies. Like, we'll go in, we'll pat their back, we'll walk out, they'll go back to sleep.

Mm-hmm. But when children are on the spectrum, they wake up and then they're very stressed. Right. And then so you pick 'em up and you rock them and you spend the night rocking them and holding them. And so they never learn how to put themselves back to sleep. Mm-hmm. So,  teaching them that skill mm-hmm.

But also teaching the parents that one, this doesn't have to be perfect, but that it's okay if they get angry with you while you're teaching 'em this and that this is, this is messy. And it's okay for it to be messy, but you can't keep giving in to them. So it's as much apparent problem as it is a kid problem, right?

Yeah. That's, that's super hard , if they're crying and your instinct is to go and take care of them, and plus you're tired, so you want them to be quiet so that you, so you can go back to sleep because you're desperate and they don't wake up. So here's that. The problem is that as caregivers, we actually as caregivers, because I have a child who, who I raised who has other.

Conditions similar to mm-hmm. To what your , your child has. Mm-hmm. As caregivers we're more likely to have bad sleep and have health issues mm-hmm. Than the average person. We're actually 50% more likely to have health issues Wow. Than the average person. So when you think about that, , we have to take care of ourselves because we have long-term commitment to our child.

Yeah. And yet we. Don't take care of ourselves and we don't put ourselves first cause we have a child who needs that special needs. So teaching parents how their health is a priority also is a big part of what I do when I'm coaching. Yeah. Okay. So we noticed that   on our situation, one of the challenges was so Jack does take melatonin And one of the,   problems was , the melatonin would help him fall asleep, but not necessarily stay asleep.

That's the only thing melatonin does. Uhhuh. So what people don't understand is melatonin is something we create in our body. Mm-hmm. When nor when we're exposed to dark. We only produce it when we're exposed to dark.  And it lets us transition from wake to sleep, but it does not keep us asleep.

Mm-hmm. So, That, but we, we do arouse through the night. This is the, , the way the brain works is we cycle every 90 to 120 minutes, three hour and a half to two hours. We cycle in our sleep. At the end of that cycle, we arouse, we change positions. We go into REM sleep. REM sleep is where we dream. At the end of that, we arouse, we change positions and we go back to sleep.

Interesting. So with a child who's on the spectrum, those arousals can very easily turn into awakenings. Mm-hmm. Especially if they're not physically comfortable in their bed. Like they're tangled in their sheets. Yeah. Or they, right. So there's usually,  something going on or they have to go to the bathroom or something, and so they wake up and now they don't know.

They don't have the skill to go to help themselves go back to sleep. Hmm. Okay. So we have to teach that to them. Yeah. Yeah. But that, that's not a pill thing. I mean, it's, it's a, it's a behavior thing. Mm-hmm. Does, does it make a difference whether a person sleeps on their stomach, their back, or their side on whether they get a restful night's sleep or not?

No. No. It's all about comfort. So here's the thing though, if they have sleep apnea, It's gonna be worse on their back. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Right. Because our tongue falls back when we're on our back. It slides back, it closes the airway more and makes the airway even smaller. Mm-hmm. So if they have sleep apnea, you don't want them on their back with some kids.

 And some adults, they only have sleep apnea. When they're on their back, they don't on their sides or on their belly. So, So, but that's the only time. The rest of it should be about what is the most comfortable position for them. Mm-hmm. Sure. Okay.. All right.  So sleep coaching is a little bit further beyond, you know, what side you sleep on and, and, and how fluffy your pillow is, right?

Although I do, I do talk about pillows. Okay. I do talk about pillows because those are important and people don't change them often enough. Oh, you should be changing them every six months to a year. Really? Okay. Oh, we're, think about this. Your head puts 24 pounds of pressure every night on this little piece of foam uhhuh.

And not only that, but we're breathing on it. We're drooling on it. We're shedding on it. So even if we've washed it, that foam is not going to hold up. Right. Okay. That's good to go. I think I need to go shopping after this and get us some new pillows. You, you know what I go to, to Sam's Club and I'm buy my pillows there.

I get the nice ones that have the, the bamboo covers on 'em. Uhhuh, it was there. That's a little more breathable. And we want natural fibers by our skin because, you know, natural fibers are more breathable. Right. We don't want foam next to us, Uhhuh. We don't want synthetics next to us. Mm-hmm. And every six months to a year, I throw 'em out and I get new ones.

Okay. All right. That's a good Switch 'em up. Yeah. I did not know that. You know? So cool. Now you know, as we definitely talk about it, it goes a li a lot further beyond than. The normal scope of just having a good night's sleep, so Absolutely. When it comes to strategies,, are there certain strategies that you use to, to help autistic children who, who struggle, , falling asleep?

Absolutely. What does that look like? So, so especially for children on the spectrum, but really any special needs child. Sure. One of the things that we don't realize is that we need 30 minutes of sunlight in the morning, and sunlight through a window is not the same as being out in the sun. We need that because it gives us a surge of serotonin, gives us a surge of a Denison.

These are hormones that say, I'm awake, I'm alert, I'm ready to go. They slowly go down through the day and when they hit their low point at night, that's what causes our sleep drive or physical desire to go to sleep. A lot of times these kids aren't getting out in the sun in the morning. Mm-hmm. If they're lucky they to get to go outside for recess.

Okay. But they're not getting out and getting sunlight in the morning, so. What we want is to make sure that they're getting about 30 minutes of sunlight in the morning. If we can take 'em outside, great. If we can't, then using a sunlight, simulating light is an alternative or during the winters, that's a great alternative.

Okay. It just helps to set their circadian rhythm, which is your internal body clock. Mm-hmm. Right. So we always wanna set them up for success. So just making that little change in the morning sets them up for , that desire to go to sleep at night, that physical desire. Now that doesn't mean they're not going to resist it, right?

So I always start there, and then I talk about the bedtime routine. And a lot of times the problem is, is that the parents make such a long bedtime routine that it becomes stressful. And we're, so a bedtime routine should only be about 20 to 30 minutes. You shouldn't extend it. And that doesn't include the shower or the bathroom.

Okay. Because I get sometimes it takes a little bit longer to bathe them. Right. Depending on their age. Right, right. Or maybe not even depending on their age. My son still takes an hour long shower and I'm,

but, but. You want to think about it as what can they handle? And when you start to create these really long bedtime routines, it just, it just gives them too much to handle. Mm-hmm. So creating this shorter bedtime routine that works for them. And then we talk about what kind of relaxation exercises we can use, what kind of anti-anxiety exercises.

Can we use, if they have a lot of physical sensation issues, does a weighted blanket work for them or not? I don't like for them to sleep with a weighted blanket. Okay. Is very heavy. And when you try to turn it can, they can get caught up in it very easily. Not that it's dangerous, I just don't think it's like the optimal thing.

Plus they're hot. They're Yes, they're extremely hot. Yes. And that's gonna, again, we want to be cool in the night, so that's going to prevent them from sleeping well. Okay. But having them use the weighted blanket before they go to bed, so their anxiety levels and all that input, that physical input is reduced, will help them to be calmer before they go to bed.

Okay? Mm-hmm. Right. Yeah. And then creating a bedtime routine that works specifically. Like we have to be very specific with them , some kids like being read to , like some kids and some kids need white noise all night and some kids don't. And so we have to figure out what works for 'em.

So you have to go into it with a feeling curious. We're experimenting and we're gonna be curious and we're gonna find what works best. Yeah. But it may be a little bit of trial and error because they can't always communicate to us what it is that's bothering them. Right, right. Okay. Awesome. So we work that way.

And then we also work on, okay, how do I get you out of the bed? Mm-hmm. Right. Whereas a lot of the parents end up in the kids' beds. It's just a fact. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Right? Mm-hmm. So how do we withdraw you from there without it becoming stressful to you and the child? Right. And I like to use the withdrawal method.

Okay. Cause the withdrawal method is much calmer. It's not as stressful. It takes a few weeks to do, but we're talking long-term  care. Mm-hmm. And short-term, if it takes us four, five weeks to get you out of the bed. Really, that's a very short amount of time, but it seems like forever when you go through it.

Yeah. Is that the one where you like, kind of move slowly away? Yes. And Okay, why that we did that? I, yeah, I had to do that.  It works really well. Mm-hmm. Cause it, it, it reduces anxiety. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And it teaches them trust. Mm-hmm. But it also teaches them that they can put themselves to sleep. Yeah, which is the skill that you really need to teach your child is yes, you can put yourself to sleep.

And if, let's say your son does wake up at two o'clock in morning, my daughter was at one o'clock in the morning, we could hear her playing on her busy box when she was a baby. Uhhuh. We'd hear this, okay, for those of you who are young, her a busy box was a toy. We put it in the crib and it had little things like a dial.

Yes. And it had a little like little. Little things to keep 'em busy, but it had this little spring thing that went boring. Yes. And so about one 30 every morning we would hear the boy of the spring because Melody would get up, play with it for a few minutes, and then she'd lie down and go back to sleep.

Okay. What we need to do is teach our children, okay, you woke up. Now what am I going to do for a few minutes before I roll over and go back to sleep? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Right? Rather than depending on you. I was gonna say, and hopefully not wake you up in the meantime, right? Mm-hmm. But we have to teach them that.

Mm-hmm. Because, and we, we assume that everybody knows how to sleep. Right. But that's not the case. Mm-hmm. It's all learned behavior. We just have to go about it differently. Yeah. Yeah. So along with  establishing a good bedtime routine and  experimenting with this stuff, are there any.

Like specific lifestyle changes or habits outside of those that that you would recommend to help improve the sleep quality? I do.  There are a couple of things you should always not do. You should not eat in the evening, so like three hours before bench is, is a You should be done with eating and you should be done with physical activity.

Now, if they're going to school, that's not always possible. You know, football practice does run over, right? But if you can, three hours prior to bed should be like, we're done with dinner, we're done with the physical activity. It should be a lower G evening. Okay? One 30 minutes prior to bed. Should be your no screen time zone.

Hmm. Right, because the lights from the screens confuse our brain. Remember I told you about like that circadian rhythm? Mm-hmm. And that. Light helps to start it in the morning. Well, the darkness helps us to get ready for bed when we stare at screens. They're so bright, and the blue light blockers doesn't really make a difference because it's not bright uhhuh.

Yes, it does interfere a little bit with melatonin, but the brightness of the light interferes with our brain saying, oh, it's time for me to start getting ready to sleep. It's time for me to start getting ready to make melatonin. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Oh yeah. Interesting.  So I had a a friend of mine describe, ,  your brain is a pharmacy and it will know what to make based on times of days and, and Right.

And it's interesting you just brought that up that Yeah. It, if we're exposed to too much light late in the day and , it can confuse your brain to create. Yeah. Yeah. Fantastic. Now  a lot of kids on the spectrum really enjoy their electronics. I do, and it's a big part of their day and towards the end of the day, it, it.

Might be where they're parked, you know, in front of their electronics, is there, but, but there are other things you could do that work just as well. I mean, Legos are a great substitute for 30 minutes coloring. Okay. Reading, if they really enjoy reading, but they can also listen to things. They can listen to an audio book or they can listen to something rather than watch.

Okay. Right.  But every kid is different. Mm-hmm. So you have to figure out what it is that that floats your kid's boat. I mean, I have, I have a couple of my, my clients who they practice guitar before they go to bed. Uhhuh. I have a couple of clients who are Lego builders. Mm-hmm. I have a couple who do crossword puzzles.

Mm-hmm. So it's, it's whatever you, your child, and also you. Mm-hmm. You need the same routine your kids do. Ah, yes, right, Uhhuh. But we don't give ourselves routines because, you know, we're so busy focusing on the kids, we forget we've gotta wind down ourselves. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. So you've gotta find that thing that, that like makes you look forward to, oh, it's bedtime.

I get to do this for 30 minutes before I go to bed. Okay. Yeah. Now, does it, from our point of view, does it make a difference on the type of, if you are going to watch a show at the end of the day, just settle down to it? Does it make a difference on whether like, Stacy would watch the Hallmark channel at the end of the day, or that is so wrong for you.

I'm gonna stop at the first car chase I see. Flipping through the channels, you know? Right. But so remember that, that the car chases and the bangs and the booms Yeah. And the hallmark, those romances, when they finally get together are all about producing dopamine. Oh, dopamine is the pleasure hormone.

Mm-hmm. It's also what keeps us scrolling. Let's, let's say you're on Instagram and you know, you keep looking for that next video to watch. Mm-hmm. That's all about dopamine. Your brain is always looking for dopamine. Cause that's the pleasure hormone. Mm-hmm. And so that's why I say 30 minutes beforehand, you don't wanna be watching the TV and you don't want because your brain is just gonna be dopamine seeking.

Yeah. Yeah. It's fantastic. What about like Like stretching before bed? Is that, would that maybe be too much of a physical activity or, it depends on the person. Okay. So I give people four different exercises. Mm-hmm. Right. Because I know what works for me, but what works for me isn't necessarily gonna work for you.

Right. Right. So I use progressive muscle relaxation. I use a  head and shoulder stretches, like neck and shoulder stretches. Okay. I give them a breathing exercise and I give them a guided meditation. Okay. Okay. Right. So I get four different, four different. Types because, and then I want the, my clients to sample all four of them.

Okay. And see which one resonates with them. And the same is true for, for your kids. So like there's a great YouTube channel. Called yoga with Adrian. Mm-hmm. And she has a seven minute bedtime routine that's super easy and not stressful and she does it and her dog is there. So it's really calming uhhuh.

And it might be a good, for some children, it might be a really good way for them to start letting go of the ch that stress that they've had all day. Uhhuh. Cause that's part of the problem is that they're, they're inundated with stressful all day. So we have to get them to let go of it. Yes. And finding the techniques that work for them.

 Let's talk about, well, you've given us some good tips and tools for helping to get to sleep, but  what are the kind of side effects or the adverse reactions, so to speak, of if you don't get enough sleep?

Like we see such an increase in society today with anxiety and depression. You know, are those things related to lack, directly related to lack of sleep? Okay. So here's the thing. We do some very specific things in our sleep. Mm-hmm. Health-wise, a lack of sleep is associated with heart disease and high blood pressure diabetes.

There is an ex, ex direct link between lack of sleep and Alzheimer's disease really. And it, I mean, not just like a causal effect, but like a direct, this is part of the reason people develop Alzheimer's. Wow. Interesting. So, so when we're looking at sleep, it increases our irritability if we don't get enough of it.

Mm-hmm. Right. It. It decreases our memory. So our ability to retain short-term memory is decreased when we don't get enough sleep. So you can see that there's all these things that can cause our sleep to  not make us be our optimal selves. Right. We need to be our optimal selves. Cause we have a lot, we have family, we have career, we have kids, we may have parents also.

Right? Older parents.. Now we are of that generation that we have both sides. Mm-hmm. Our PA parents are living longer. So we've got them. Mm-hmm. And then we've got our kids and we still have the job and the house and everything else, right? Mm-hmm. Do you have all of this and your, so you, we have to teach you how to de-stress, right?

And the tools, some of the tools that we would use for the kids would work for you, but you have other things that we would need to do to help you de-stress because, We need to make sure that you're getting at least seven hours of sleep, cuz adults need between seven and nine hours of sleep. Okay, that was gonna be my next question.

Seven to nine hours as an adult. Yes. As for kids, the, it's depends on their age, so I don't wanna give you how much sleep they need because it's all very age depends. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I should, I should be a rockstar. I'm usually in bed by like 9, 9, 9 30. You can afford to get, stay up another hour or so. I know.

I find that as I, it gets to be like 8 30, 9 o'clock and my eyes are tired and I'm just, I'm ready for bed. Your brain is telling you I've had enough. That's right. I'm done. I'm out. . So  for kiddos who may not have a problem falling asleep, but they may have problems staying asleep any other tips or techniques with that? Is it just pretty much going back to the beginning of the sleep, no. Routine? Well, yes, you wanna give them that really good sleep routine, but what you wanna do is teach them what to do if they wake up.

Mm-hmm. So, Okay. We did this relaxation exercise before we went to sleep. We're gonna do the same one. If we we're gonna get up, go to the bathroom, come back to bed, do our relaxation exercise, roll over and go back to sleep. Okay? Okay. So if you're feeling that you can't go back to sleep, then we might give them an ac a a quiet activity that they can do for a few minutes in their bed and help them go to sleep.

Okay? Okay. That's good. That's good. I'm taking notes here while you're doing, while you're telling us this. Yeah, this has been very helpful, Amy. I know  This is an area that a lot of us struggle in, but it's not an area that we, we notice right away that of, of help that we need. Mm-hmm. 

Well, because there's, because  we were taught growing up. , like you're in the same age group. I am. Kind of, we're Gen Xers, right? Mm-hmm. And so we were taught we will sleep when we're dead. Right. It is that simple. Right? We were taught we'll sleep when, when we're dead. Other than that, you're, you have to have a career.

You have to. You have to be everything you're always on, right? So we don't make sleep a priority, but then we go to the doctor and if you don't have sleep apnea, they give you a pill and they send you on your way, and that doesn't usually solve the problem. Mm-hmm. Sure. Like you said, they said they, they suggested melatonin for your son, but didn't solve the problem.

Right. It solved a piece of the problem, but didn't solve the problem. And then they didn't offer you any other help. Right. So sleep coaching has become more of a thing because people are more aware that their health is important. Mm-hmm. And if, if you spent three months with me and I coached you, and you were able to sleep better, you can then take those skills and use 'em for the rest of your life.

Right. And think about how much better your life is going to be now, because now I have all these skills. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Now, if, I were coached by you, Amy, would you tell me, I I could, well, would you suggest that I would stop eating Hogan ice cream at 10:30 PM or is I would suggest Did you work around that?

Well, he, yes. I actually, I would, I would tell you this. If you're gonna eat something at night, you want it to be balanced. You don't want something that's really high in carbohydrate, right? Cuz carbohydrate is energy. Do you wanna be putting energy into your body right before you go to bed? Okay. Mm-hmm. So what if you had, okay, I have my scoop of ice cream, but I, before I had that, I had a little bit of toast and peanut butter, or I had a hard boiled egg, or I had something that gives you a little more protein and, and in fiber, before I had my scoop of ice cream.

Okay, so you have egg and ice cream, a bagel and ice cream sure got me in. You got me listening. So no carbohydrates before bud. Great. Okay. I did not say that. I said to be balanced about it. I'm gonna say that cuz I know he's not gonna get any protein. He's just gonna get that little Debbie snack or that that ice cream.

He's not gonna be looking for that protein or healthy fat with it. So while we're on the top peanut butter in an apple, there's a good snack. Okay. You can do that. I like apples. That's good. Yeah. While we're on the topic of diet how  how important is hydration to a person having an apple sleep? Is it, you know, so it's always gonna affect you because if you don't have good hydration, you get like those aches and pains and those muscle cramps.

Right? So you need to be hydrated. Mm-hmm. The bad part about being hydrated, it means that we ha that our kidneys are working well. Right. And then yeah, and then we, we get up to go to the bathroom. This is especially, they did there's a, a survey that's done every year by the National Sleep Foundation and they, they did the survey last year and they put it out and it, and they found that 65% of women that were surveyed got up to go to the bathroom at least once a night.

Okay. Right, and every time I talk to a person, they're like, I don't know. I get up every night to go to the bathroom. What can I do to fix it? I'm like, it's kind of normal. Yeah, okay. You consider it normal. If you get up once a night to to go to the bathroom and then go back to sleep, it's still considered normal sleep.

It also found that 70% of women have some kind of sleep issue. Oh, that's a really high statistic. Isn't that so, and yet we're not talking about these things. Right. And and the and, and not nothing against you, but women are the primary caregivers. Yeah. Usually. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Right. 90% of the time. So if 70% of women aren't getting enough sleep and 70% of women are the primary caregivers mm-hmm.

Do we see a problem and a correlation here that nobody's talking about? Right. Right. Yeah, that's so true because our, our nine year old. I'll be in like the bedroom across the, the house and my husband is in the living room and she'll come find me to ask her to get her. I'm like, your dad's right there.

Like, what? Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I know. I'm not alone with that. I'm like, ask dad. She'd like, well, I just know you'll get it faster.

She knows me well, I love you. She not, she knows me well. Yeah, I mean, like I said, it's nothing against dads, but that's. That's just the way we are. Yeah. That's the way our culture is. Right, right. But, and you've been fantastic. Is there any last bit of advice that you'd like to give our listeners today on our podcast?

. If we would really enjoy having you on our community calls that, we meet with our,  community once a week, but to have you on there as a guest one evening would be fantastic. I would be happy to do that because I would love to answer questions for them.

Yes. And. I want, I want the parents to know that they need to give themselves 30 minutes for a bedtime routine. Okay. They need to take time to de-stress. Okay. They need time to disconnect from the, the electronics and find that moment like we always think about things that we enjoy and that they have to be a big period of time.

Mm-hmm. But what if you found something you could do for 10 minutes? In the evening as part of your bedtime routine to bring you joy. Hmm. There you go. What a great way to just keep being joyful, right? Joy, right? Instead of thinking about the bills that need to be paid and what am I gonna do with the kids tomorrow because they're outta school now.

And instead of going to bed like that, going to bed saying, okay, I'm gonna do this for 10 minutes. Knit, I don't knit or crochet. Or do do Legos or do a crossword puzzle or mm-hmm. Do play guitar or just listen to some music. Mm-hmm. For 10 minutes for yourself. And then do your relaxation exercise, wash your face, brush your teeth, maybe do a little bit of journaling to get some of this stuff out of here.

Yeah. Okay. That's excellent advice. Excellent. And . I'm definitely guilty of that. I'm usually doing stuff with or for the kids right up until I'm like, okay, I'm done. I'm tired. I'm ready to go to bed. So just taking that. Just even if it's 10 minutes just to find, like you said, that joy, what  A beautiful way to go to sleep with a smile on your face.

So yes, it would. I love that. Yes, it would little, I love that. You know, book reading, little journaling, something to find that sweet spot. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I love that. Well, Amy, thank you so much. That is just about all the time that we have today. It was so great talking to you. I've been taking notes here, writing things down.

But before we go, tell us where people can find more about working with you. How can, if they need Amy and they need training and coaching, where can they find you? So my website is acorn coaching.com. It's Acorn with a K. Okay. Acorn with a k acorn coaching.com. And you can find me on using my name Amy Corn Reis on all the social media sites.

Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn. Great. And we're gonna put all this in the show notes and everything too, so people will in the link so people will be able to find you. So Amy, again, thank you so very much. And for our listeners, we wanna thank you so much for joining us on this episode of Champions of Autism.

If you'd like to hear more about topics like this in the champions of autism community come visit our website at www.championsofautism.com. And you can also find us on Facebook and now Instagram. Oh man. Yes,  so please remember,  to subscribe, rate and review on your favorite podcast app.

And until next time, ward, Joe and Stacy and Mrs. Champions of autism. Mm-hmm.