186. The AI Identity Crisis No One Is Talking About

There’s a career and identity crisis happening right now, and almost nobody is naming the real cause.

When you outsource your thinking, your creating, and your decision-making to AI, you’re not just losing time. You’re also losing the parts of yourself that made you good at what you do in the first place.

TOPICS WE EXPLORE:

• The millennial career and identity crisis
• What overconsumption of tech and AI is actually doing to your ability to think, create, and trust yourself
• Ash’s own experience feeling herself disappear… and the daily writing practice she started to get back
• How AI is showing up in client work
• Where AI is actually useful (and how Ash uses it without losing herself in the process)
• The privacy risk nobody’s talking about
• Why Ash’s husband builds AI, and still agrees with her
• The medicine man with 375k followers, a fake product, and a lesson about what we’re willing to believe
• What taking back your mind actually looks like

THE POINT:

AI isn’t the enemy, but outsourcing your identity is. There’s a version of these tools that helps you pull out your own ideas, refine your own words, and move faster without disappearing. That’s the version worth using…the rest is worth questioning.

MENTIONED:

• Entrepreneur School Podcast with Kelly Sinclair — Ash’s episode on social media and alignment

MORE ABOUT ASH
I am the definition of duality — I swear like a sailor and break rules like it’s my job, but I also hold incredible space for my clients and work my ass off to help them achieve the success they’re after. But I'm also here for the non-preneur woman, too. My background in counseling gives me a unique perspective on what it means to show up, serve, & create connection for those who feel like they've never belonged before.

LINKS:

• Become the Regulated Woman
• Get emails that feel like your best friend (if your best friend was a therapist and actually told you the truth).
• Use code BB20 to get The Burnout Breakthrough for only $7
• Follow me on IG (dropping in once a quarter for updates & gossip)
• Website: ashmcdonaldmentoring.com

Work with me 1:1

•  Therapeutic Mentorship
•  Business Therapy (therapy + strategic mentorship)

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Yes, I'm a little feisty today. I say this because I experienced it. I felt myself disappearing. I felt both from the social media aspect but also from AI like there's something good is not happening if I can't remember how to sit down and write. This is why, gosh, when was it? It hasn't been a full year, but at least six, no, more than that. Probably seven, eight months that I started my daily writing practice. It was actually, I've always loved writing, but making it more of a practice and something I did every day was a result of me going, I am losing these parts of myself. Hello, my dear. Welcome back to the Shamelessly Ambitious Podcast. I need to have a little bit of a polarizing conversation with you because it is my soapbox. This is my soapbox. And I'm not getting down. There is nobody who can get me down. And I've been having a lot of conversations about this. And I just feel like I wanted to bring it here. And it is about the current career/slash identity crisis. I think it's of many generations, but as a millennial, we'll say the millennial identity and career crisis is definitely on the forefront. So I'm currently back on social for a couple weeks. And I could not believe how much content came my way that was all about this identity crisis, all about this career identity crisis. And it was almost laughable to me at first because I expected that when people would talk about this, they would get to what I believe wholeheartedly, no fucking doubt in my mind, 100% sure what the issue is. Nobody does. It's just what to do next and where to pivot and what to do. And my soapbox is that it's AI. My soapbox is that listen, I am the productivity queen. I love me a good system. I love outsourcing. I love these things. But I'm sorry. At this point, what's happening is a crisis, an epidemic, if you will, of people outsourcing their thoughts and their opinions to AI. Andor, you know, as a byproduct, I think that like overconsumption is also tech. I think it's tech related. So it's essentially an epidemic of us letting the internet think for us, right? Letting it create for us, letting it determine what creation ought to look like, dependent on what works and what doesn't work. I mean, this was honestly the reason why I left social media. Not the reason. There are so many reasons, but one of the other reasons being that it just it I don't want to be impacted. And I very much am because I'm very much human. And so I find it also quite humorous when people are like, oh my gosh, I don't have that problem. I have boundaries with social and I don't get impacted. No, you do. You're a human. So you do. Everybody is impacted by others. Everybody's impacted by all the things that they consume. I don't care if it's a movie or it's a song or it's a social media for a day. Like whatever we take in does absolutely impact us. It impacts our thoughts, it impacts our beliefs, it impacts our mood, it impacts our emotions. I mean, quite literally, just thinking of it of it in the simplest terms, if a song comes on that brings up about a memory in me that is sad, I'm instantly sad and I don't have control over that. And no, I'm not saying like turn off all music, watch no movies, do nothing, but I'm saying we have to be so cognizant and so cautious. And so as I was watching just person after person after person talk about this careerslash identity crisis, I couldn't help but just laugh. Well, of course, when you give away your ability to think freely, when you give away your ability to create, and I'm talking about, you know, and this is even without social media, my inbox is constantly flooded with people who now, you know, used to do one thing in their business and now they're AI experts. Everybody's an AI AI expert now. And they're gonna expertly tell you how to never write a piece of content on your own again, how to have Chat GPT or Claude, you know, whoever's fanciest at the moment, to write all your emails and to do everything for you. And so then when clients come and work with me and I'm witnessing their patterns and their struggles, which often come back to feeling like I can't make decisions, I feel like out of my own head and out of my body sometimes. I'm having this like out-of-body experience where I can't, you know, I used to be so motivated. I used to be so like intuitive, intuitively led. I used to, I used to, I used to. How are people not connecting the dots? So you used to have these characteristics that you loved so much that made success and life and and things just feel easy and fun. And now you don't, and your decision is okay, so how can I get more done with less time by using these robots to do it for me? That's probably gonna be the thing that gets me there, as opposed to looking at the data of what's happened. And I say this, and yes, I'm a little feisty today. I say this because I experienced it. I felt myself disappearing. I felt both from the social media aspect, but also from AI like there's something good is not happening if I can't remember how to sit down and write, right? This is why gosh, when was it? It hasn't been a full year, but at least six, no, more than that, probably seven, eight months that I started my daily writing practice. It was actually, I've always loved writing, but making it more of a practice and something I did every day was a result of me going, I am losing these parts of myself, right? Because I would go to respond to somebody in an email and be like, oh, what could I say? Because I was using ChatGPD. That's I think I left that out. I was using it. Of course I was. I was doing what everybody else is doing. I was like, why not? And at first it was really exciting. It was. But then I realized that I couldn't, I would literally go to to AI to say, is this good? Could it be better? What could I do differently here? Is this offer suite a good idea? Is this, etc., etc, etc. And honestly, for a while, this was the same issue that I saw with people turning to their coaches as opposed to themselves and to the courses they were taking. And that had its own epidemic. And so we're always going to have some form of epidemic. But again, I find it laughable that we're calling this an identity or a career crisis without looking at the facts. How are you outsourcing your thoughts and your opinions? Now, let me be very clear. I am anti let the internet think for you. I'm not anti-AI. There are things that I use it for fully and I think that they are valuable, but I am so cautious about what I use it for and how I use it. I don't use it to write for me. I don't because I think that this is really, really dangerous. And I know that I'm, I know this is polarizing because I don't know, maybe I'll be wrong. Maybe in five years I'll be wrong. At this very moment, I really don't think so. At this very moment, I believe that the pendulum swung so far to one side where everybody is just doing what they can, utilizing AI. We're also feeling the FOMO of watching other people. I busted out X, Y, and Z pieces of content in five seconds, and now I'm a millionaire type of stuff. But that's kind of always been an issue just for different reasons. This one is costing us more though. The other day, I'm scrolling because I'm back on social, boo, boo, boo. And there is this medicine man teaching, and I can tell instantly that it's AI. If you look at the smoke coming out of his coffee cup, it did this thing where you're like, that's obviously not real. You could I could tell instantly. And this particular account, you know, I went over to its feed and there were probably 25, maybe 30 posts total. So not very long had been doing this. 375,000 followers. It had a stand store and it had Comment X to get, it was like the Medicine Man Reset Program or something like that. And I can't even tell you the thousands and thousands of people who had commented to get that link. And if you comment, I didn't comment, but I went to Link in bio and it was like, you know,$13. Somebody created this account and is now making money selling something that is likely a complete lie, or definitely Chat GPT fabricated, but it's not what people think it is. And I I don't get how people don't see that as dangerous. I don't get it. People are feeling so lost, so lost in their creativity, in their ideation, in their decision making, in so much. And now we also have to worry about like not knowing what's real. And so sure, could you use AI to simplify certain things and make more money potentially? And at what cost? And that's a question that you have to be willing to ask yourself. And at what cost? And to me, I came to this point where it just wasn't worth it. Yeah, I will use it to. So for instance, I had all these ideas. I had kind of like written out all these different like content ideas that I wanted to bring to my social media return. And I took all these ideas that were my very own ideas, I plugged them into Claude and I said, can you write this out as a content calendar so that I can print it to essentially cross out the things that I had finished, to just organize it. And the value in it for me is that I could voice text it. I didn't have to type it after writing it in a scratch note because I had I'm more of a pen to paper gown. So I'd made this messy notes of all the things I wanted to share. And then I had it write it out. Immediately, Claude was like, now do you want me to write those captions? And I'm like, no, I do not want you to write those captions. Now, on the other side, what I will do sometimes as well is I will write something and then I will feed it into Claude and ask for it to um make sure that it's readable, that it makes sense, that it doesn't have any like massive errors or anything like that. And a lot of times, if I'm not very, very specific, it will want to rewrite things and I will yell at it. I am not gonna be one of the ones that has when the world turns into robots that the robots are like, oh, you were so sweet to me. That's not gonna be me. I'm the one who's like, I don't want you to write for me. Stop trying to write for me, stop trying to steal my identity, stop trying to be me. It's quite hilarious, actually. And funny side note, I was having dinner with somebody recently and she was like, Oh my gosh, it's so interesting to hear your perspective. And she was like, I love AI, I've been using it, but I feel so much of what you're saying. I definitely feel like I'm just not the same person that I was, and I haven't heard this perspective, you know. And then like 10 minutes later, and she was like, What does your husband do again? My husband builds AI. Oh my gosh, the dilemma of this house. And he is so pro-AI, which is really funny, but he's also not he's pro-AI in the sense that he's building it and he sees the value. And also he's terrified because there are so many jobs being lost all the time. And he has to stay so fast and so quick and so above the grain in terms of like not allowing AI to steal his job in tech. And that's so stressful. And he absolutely sees my perspective of like, sure, I could write this email in a tenth of the time, but then it's not me. And here's the thing like, sales or no sales. I don't want to lose my ability to write creatively. Sales or no sales. I don't want to lose my ability to make decisions. I don't want to lose my ability to trust myself because that's what I see. I mean, I will have clients where I'm like, hey, they're saying to me, like, I'm feeling unsure about, let's say, for instance, my offer suite. And I would just love to have you take a look at it. Like, I have some ideas, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, great, let's see it. And they will send something over. And with love, I have to say, like, this is AI. I can tell it's AI. There's the it's a complete offer suite that was built from a robot telling you what you should or should not include in an offer suite. These offers don't even exist. And you're about to go build them all, trusting this robot to be right, as opposed to doing the market research that your audience actually wants it, as opposed to getting out and having the right conversations, as opposed to looking at like what your actual talent is and what your gift is. Because when we outsource an AI says you should probably build this, it doesn't actually serve us because that didn't authentically come from who we are. Now, I don't believe that we should sacrifice the systemization. So I think there is value in there's certain things that I think are really valuable. And in fact, I think they vary from person to person. You might not be a strong writer and never really felt like you were a strong writer. And so it might be more important for use you to use AI for this, but not for other things, right? I, on the other hand, I am a pretty good writer. I like writing. I'm not perfect by any means. But when I started to try to write in the past when I was using more of AI and I would feel stumped and like need help, whew, that's a problem. So what I do instead, if I'm trying to come up with a content idea or I'm trying, like, let's say, for instance, I'm trying to come up with a podcast idea, rather than give me five episodes that my ideal client's gonna da-da-da, I will say, ask me five or six questions to get to the crux of like what my beliefs are right now, or to get beneath the surface of what I'm helping my clients with. Help me pull out my ideas. That I will use AI for. And I find it very beneficial. Similarly, for content for emails, it's the same thing. So I'm rather than you tell me, I'm saying you help me figure it out out of me. You help me pull it out of myself. Right. I did do the same thing for content. I was like, here are all the ideas. I I feel like I'm not covering everything I want to cover. Ask me six or seven questions to get me to that point. Right. That to me is the difference between outsourcing my creativity and cultivating my creativity. And so I just I feel all sorts of ways about this, clearly. But more importantly, I feel that people are feeling very lost and they can't figure out why. And then they're probably going to Chad Daddy and being like, hi, why am I lost? And by the way, can I also just I'm gonna get back on my soapbox really quick, just say there are no privacy laws to protect you with AI yet. They might come to existence, but right now there is no protection. And so may I just caution you against using your whatever AI of choice for your secrets, for your innermost deepest thoughts, for your confessions, for your emotions. I have seen some shit. By the way, my husband builds AI for lawyers. Okay. That's all I'm gonna say. Everything can be found, everything can be held against you, but please protect yourself. Please, before you plug anything into Chat GPT, ask yourself what I want the whole world to know exactly what I'm saying here or exactly what I'm asking. It's very, very important that you do that. From a therapist, I just feel all sorts of ways because I've definitely heard people say, like, oh, I just why? Who needs a therapist when you can just plug into AI and what be told exactly what you want to hear, which is the opposite of what I was trained in the four years it took me to get a master's in counseling psychology. I was never once told, tell your client exactly what they need to hear. That will solve their problems, that will get to the root of their issues. No, fucking no. So if you have been feeling this identity crisis, this career crisis, this who the hell am I and what am I supposed to do? I might advise that you take a little hiatus. Right? I have found my time away from social media, which is definitely more away than there. I had originally decided I was gonna do like one week per quarter. I've already changed that to be expected. And I think I'm just gonna do like a couple weeks, maybe two to three times a year, because I'm realizing one week is pretty short and it doesn't let me get across what I want to get across. But I also don't want to constantly be here. So I'd rather, I'm really thinking like two to three weeks, twice a year, maybe that I come back on, and that feels way better for me. That was a decision that I made for a plethora of reasons, but one big one, taking back my mind, taking back my emotions, taking back my thoughts, taking back my opinions and letting them be mine, taking back my life so I can be present where I'm at. And yeah, it felt like a sacrifice. It's turned out not to have been one at all, but it did feel scary. And that's how I feel about AI. I probably use it so little to compare it to others. And yes, I I absolutely have a minor, but it's there, fear of like falling behind. Or what if this, what if this is really never gonna go away and the pendulum is never gonna swing from where it's at to, I think I'm hoping a little bit more of a centered, grounded, hey, we can be humans and also have this resource. That's how I use it. I'm a human. I hold very dearly all my human parts. And I've got this resource that I can use sometimes to refine or to benefit me, but I'm very particular about how I use it. And it, you know, it also came down to I got really fucking tired of reading emails that were a robot, of listening to podcasts that were clearly a scripted robot, uh being on social media and everybody sounding and looking the same. And got the amount of emotions that I had when I saw that medicine man. It was just like, how does nobody see this? I don't know. I don't know. Anyways, this is a messy episode, but it was messy and it was real, and it's my real thoughts on the matter, and it's both laughable and cryable, the situation that we're in. And I very much am cultivating a 1997 life for myself and my kids, and I'm proud of it. And I think it's beautiful, and I think it's a haven for us. And and I still use these tools. I'm still so showing up on social media a few weeks a year because I think it is, I think there are values to everything. Everything is birthed from the idea of bringing more value. But just like everything, we have to be really cautious as to how much we use it. You know, I think that can be applied to anything, right? Health, fitness, these are good things until we take it to the next level. And it's called an eating disorder or a fitness addiction. Having a drink, having a drink and celebrating with your friends can be really beautiful until it becomes alcoholism. And yes, I do actually believe it's that severe. I do actually believe this is that big of a problem. In fact, and then I'll shut up. Touring schools, excuse me, for my kids, and witnessing just how things are done, it really scares me. And I feel feelings about that. My kids are very happy in school. They don't want to not go to school. When they were younger, it was a lot easier to determine things for them. So that's something that we're navigating in terms of like homeschooling. But my kids really enjoy it. They're very athletic, they love the sports aspect of it. And I'm not, I want my kids to have the autonomy to make their own decisions. And also it terrifies me. You know, interviewing to become a college professor and going to these events and doing that has been such a cool experience. And it's kind of crazy. You know, I did this shark take kind of thing where I was a fake investor for all these students who were pitching their business ideas. And so many of them were like AI related in ways that made me kind of catch my breath. Like, poof. So that's my TED Talk for today. We have to find balance. We have to allow the pendulum to swing somewhere in the middle and allow ourselves to retain our human as much as humanly possible.