Control what you can, release what you can't: Lessons from an Entrepreneurial Journey
Dec 12, 2023
Ever found yourself gripped by anxiety, plagued by self-doubt, or feeling like a fraud despite your achievements? You're not alone. I'm JP, your host, and today I share my personal battle with anxiety and imposter syndrome, revealing how I learned to shift focus from these crippling feelings to what I could control. I'll take you through the highs and lows of my entrepreneurial journey, unearthing lessons and insights that might just help you conquer your own self-limiting beliefs.
Navigating high-pressure scenarios is daunting, but what if you could control the variables? I shed light on my personal strategies for managing such situations, including a nerve-wracking meeting with a new company, and how I used Alan Watts' philosophy to craft my own dreams. We'll explore the art of delegating, releasing worry, and tackling anxiety head-on. And to round it off, I share useful tips on preparing for anxiety-inducing situations and building a solid foundation of confidence. So tune in, take control, and let's conquer anxiety together. #anxiety #executivecoach #mindset
Ever found yourself gripped by anxiety, plagued by self-doubt, or feeling like a fraud despite your achievements? You're not alone. I'm JP, your host, and today I share my personal battle with anxiety and imposter syndrome, revealing how I learned to shift focus from these crippling feelings to what I could control. I'll take you through the highs and lows of my entrepreneurial journey, unearthing lessons and insights that might just help you conquer your own self-limiting beliefs.
Navigating high-pressure scenarios is daunting, but what if you could control the variables? I shed light on my personal strategies for managing such situations, including a nerve-wracking meeting with a new company, and how I used Alan Watts' philosophy to craft my own dreams. We'll explore the art of delegating, releasing worry, and tackling anxiety head-on. And to round it off, I share useful tips on preparing for anxiety-inducing situations and building a solid foundation of confidence. So tune in, take control, and let's conquer anxiety together. #anxiety #executivecoach #mindset
Speaker 1:
And welcome to a new energy crew podcast and your host, jp1. I'm going to thank everyone out there for tuning in and if you're catching this one, this is probably our second one that we recorded that are been these short little 15 to 20 minute long episodes of kind of me sharing my personal insight and my experiences with you out there. Maybe it helps, maybe it doesn't, but and if it might help, that's why we're doing this and I think this is kind of part of my part of the content I'm putting out there, as I have just been certified as a an executive coach as of this week. I passed the test last week and should be able to download that certificate this week, so I'm excited about it. So, hey, why not put out new content to help people out and to help guide people through their professional and personal journeys? And also my?
Speaker 1:
What I've been focused on is kind of squashing or reducing the self limiting beliefs, the, the imposter syndrome that a lot of people face and you know people wonder what a posture syndrome is. It's that feeling, that and again, if you, if you feel any of this, it's you're not alone. There's a study done in 1970s, I think, or early 80s, that over 70% of high achievers have faced some sort of imposter syndrome. What that is, that's feelings of self doubt, that's feelings of that you're where you're at in your career not based on your achievements, not based on your awesome successes and everything that you've done, but because of luck, because of sheer luck, and you're a fraud and you're only here because you're lucky and someone kind of finds out the real you. You're a, you're fired. So, anyway, that has been something that's been kind of very heavy on my mind since I started my journey. As you can see behind me these are my companies, that that I found within the last two years, and this isn't a brag. It should be a look, you know, yeah, sure, on paper, yes, is this a brag? However, behind the behind the curtain, behind closed doors, it has been one of the most stressful, challenging and, personally, a difficult mental battle that I have faced, and I have a face that I have dealt with, that I have looked into and that I have done a lot of self reflection on, and that's why I am pursuing this, this imposter syndrome, coaching avenue, this focus A lot of times, you know, before diving into this, there was a lot of talk about, like you know, what are you going to focus on?
Speaker 1:
And I was like, oh, entrepreneurial, I want to help, I want to own a coach, people that are interested in starting their own businesses and kind of get their mindset. You know, however, through you know, months and years of battling and eventually conquering my imposter syndrome, my wife finally said why don't you think about your imposter syndrome? It seems to be something that constantly is brought up. It seems something that a lot of people face, a lot of people deal with, and it seems to me that it's something that you are good at vocalizing and talking about it, and not only that, like if you're, if you're helping yourself, you can help others. So I think again.
Speaker 1:
I think imposter syndrome has a lot of self limiting beliefs attached to it, whether it's isolationism, whether it's professionalism, whether it's anxiety, fear, not feeling like like you belong, self doubt. There's a lot of, there's a lot of these feelings that are associated with imposter syndrome, and one of them, that that I've had trouble with, and I think, a lot of people out there as well, even if not. I'm just going to share my experience with this. It's, it's, it's control, it's control. I'm still kind of in the middle when it comes to of releasing control of some aspects of my companies and my business stuff that I need to do. But it's so difficult. I started these companies two years ago, okay, and it's been kind of a solopreneur, you know. Yes, I've had, you know, some help here and there. However, it's been kind of me behind the wheel drive and with that comes a lot of self doubt, a lot of anxiety, a lot of issues.
Speaker 1:
When it comes to control, I have attached myself to these names, to these company names I have. I want to control every aspect of it, not only not only who shows up to the events, but also what people say, the marketing, the emails, the look, the feel and all that's important. I think that's extremely important for a lot of entrepreneurs starting their own companies to be involved in every single aspect of it, especially when you're starting. That way you know kind of things are run, what needs to get done for the, for other things to get done. However, as a company grows, as it matures I'm using mature with a hard T because it sounds more mature than it is but as a company matures, that's when you do have to kind of relinquish control. You do have to delegate.
Speaker 1:
And one of the biggest things and this isn't about delegation, this conversation right now this is more about anxiety. This is more about shifting your focus from that big problem, that big worrisome event, that big situation that's coming next week, two weeks from now, shifting your focus on the big ball of worry, stum anxiety, and shifting that focus on what you can control, attacking your anxiety, attacking that big ball of worry. Okay, so this is called control and release. I remember listening to a podcast that obviously, whether it's you know, crew Club, when we host these operator producer network events and it's like you know, it's like exclusive. I want to make sure this is right, this is good, it's a lot of control with that and, at the end of the day, I'm trying to focus. I'm giving a lot of anxiety, hurting cats, basing my expectations on other people showing up and again. So let's talk about, I guess, releasing what you can't control and focusing on what you can. And I think when you focus on what you can control, you're able to attack the scenario, you're able to more strategically attack your anxiety.
Speaker 1:
So a lot of times you worry about the outcome of a situation and that's pretty much either how it's going to be received, who's going to listen how it's going to be approved? Or someone to buy your service, someone to buy your product? Or people going to show up to your event? Is your event going to go great? Is your project going to go great? Is your boss going to like it? So okay? So there's a lot of stuff going on out there.
Speaker 1:
I remember listening to something or reading something, I don't know, but it stuck out to me that 97% of the shit that we worry about, 97% of this stuff, never happens. So I could be worried, or we all can be worried, about this. One thing happen. One thing happen, and let's think about that. Let's think about Thanksgiving. Let's think about Thanksgiving I'm sure Thanksgiving for a lot of people. There's a lot of anxiety associated with it. It's family. There's a lot of anxiety with it. It's family, friends that you have to deal with, and there's so much worry that's put behind it. And, in reality, at the end of it, how often does that chain of events that you predicted actually happen? Not all. So, again, whenever there's a all right. So let's just take something up. Let's just take a scenario. Let's take a project, a presentation. Okay, let's say you have a presentation you had to give to the board. Okay, that is a scenario that causes anxiety.
Speaker 1:
So the first thing that I would do that I have done on something like this I always pause myself Whenever I start kind of feeling like, okay, I gotta do this, I gotta do this. Now I know how it feels. It feels like kind of a snowball, that kind of like progressively get bigger and bigger and bigger. I stop myself. The first thing you have to do is stop yourself. You go outside, take a walk, take a breath, click your computer down, but walk away and in reality you really kind of have to think about, you have to kind of put things in kind of two categories what you can control and what you have to release. Okay, so, all right, let's think about that.
Speaker 1:
That's shifting your mindset of worrying about the outcome, worrying about if it's gonna be accepted, worrying about if it's gonna be approved or passed or how you do so how do you reduce your worry and how do you reduce your anxiety with the outcome of a meeting or something like that? What is balloons? What was that all about? I have no idea, but anyway, I saw balloons kind of pop up, but no idea why he's doing that that's a little celebration, I'll take that. So what can you control before you approach the situation? All right, you really kind of have to list down what is in your power to affect how that meeting or how that presentation is gonna occur, what is in your direct influence leading up to that meeting? Okay, so are those emails that could be sent out? That's what you control. Is that how the presentation looks? Well, you can allocate your time to control and to go over that presentation. You can, if you're worried about the anxieties about giving that presentation, take some time. You can control your schedule leading up to that meeting to allocate yourself time to prepare, to go over, go over, go over, go over that presentation so you have more confidence, so you have. So the anxiety is dropped down with how your performance versus how it's gonna be received. And I think, and I remember, I remember I had a meeting two weeks ago and I was felt very out of my element.
Speaker 1:
These were people that I've never really dealt with before. This was a company that I never really had to deal with before and I felt like I was a small fish in a big pond and I started getting very anxious. I kind of felt like a fraud. I felt like this. I felt, oh, what if they don't like what I say? What if I'm not talking on their level? I'm down here, they're up here.
Speaker 1:
So I started kind of running through my mind. I stopped, I stopped myself. I was in the lobby and I stopped myself and I just kind of closed my eyes, took a couple breaths and I said, okay, let's stop. What can you control? What have you controlled the situation? Well, number one they asked you to be here, okay. So boom, that's, you're inviting to be here. So it's not like I finagled my way in there. What's the second thing that I control? Well, I did put together a presentation. Not only that, I worked hard on the presentation and I think it has all the relevant information.
Speaker 1:
Okay, so I could control not just what I did to prep for the event, but also I started to begin to control my mindset about this meeting. I had a lot of anxiety walking through those doors into that meeting, but I started trying to control my mind, my mindset, and that was I started talking to myself hey, jp, you belong here, you deserve to be here. They invited you here. Actually, you're not here wasting any more time. They invited you here. Not only that it's a Monday, and they're meeting with you on a Monday I mean, usually it's a Friday thing Then you can tell that they don't want to see, but a Monday. And then it's like, okay, well, you did this presentation, you're proud of that. Well, yeah, I'm proud of that. So I just started kind of talking to myself. I controlled my self-talk, what was going on inside of my brain.
Speaker 1:
I controlled what I could do for that meeting the entire week before, by practicing the presentation, by building the presentation, by talking to others, by getting feedback and again, I think, the outcome of that meeting, the anxiety that was dropped from just this year, me worrying about how is the meeting gonna end up, all that bogus stuff at the end of the day, I can't control. You have to release that. I had to release how my message or my presentation would be received. I had to release me not caring how it was received, but the reality of how it's received, because that is out of my control. My control is how I present it. My control is how I walk in that room. My control is how I sit down at the table, how I greet people, how I say hello, how I present, how I communicate. It's out of my control if I'm gonna get along with someone. It's out of my control if it's gonna be well received or it's not gonna be well received.
Speaker 1:
So again, let me see if I'm missing anything here. And besides, yeah, this is the last kind of thing that I had here. I'll kind of wrap it up here because we're coming up on 12 minutes. I'm loving this. This is the second one I've done today. I'm loving these little short kind of episodes right here where I was kind of sharing little, I guess, things that have worked with me.
Speaker 1:
So again, the last thought when it comes to this is like if you were to worry about something let's say you worried about presentation project, whatever it is, and you knew the outcome and you could control the outcome and you could dictate, yeah, that'd be fun, that'd be cool and all that stuff. But start doing that more and more and more. It's kind of like the philosopher Alan Watts says it's like if you start dreaming over and over and you can pick your dream, you can craft your dream. Whatever you want it to be. It could be wherever it is. Eventually your dream's gonna lead you to the reality today, where you don't know what's gonna happen tomorrow. You don't know what's gonna happen today. So I love that kind of that viewpoint because for me, attacking that anxiety ball, that anxiety situation, is really just pausing, getting a whiteboard out, breaking it down into elements that you can control.
Speaker 1:
What can you do today that can prepare you for that situation, can prepare you for that tomorrow? Who can you talk to? Who can you email? What can you? Where can you allocate your time? Where you know when you walk up to that stage, you walk into that room, you stand in front of the board of directors, you know with confidence what you're going to do and just kind of release what the rest of the day is gonna happen or how it's gonna be received.
Speaker 1:
So again, when it comes to the anxiety, this is all about reducing those limited beliefs, those anxiety balls that build up in your head over and over and over and again. 97% of the time it doesn't work out the way you dooms prepped in your head, the way you prepare it in your head. I think, again, attacking your anxiety situations by folks on where you can control can definitely help you move you past the point of move you past the point of being uncomfortable to being confident. So if you can control your variables, at least this what happens to me I feel that it can push you through and make you more confident than uncomfortable. So that's all I have for you today. I wanna thank everyone out there who enjoyed this energy crew podcast. Feel free to share and talk about it. Gossip about around the water cooler and I mean that's what you can control, so control that aspect of your day. All right, everyone. Thank you out there and we'll talk to you soon on energy crew grass music.